1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,046
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
2
00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:11,137
Oh, bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
3
00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,764
I took the Lord's name in vain.
4
00:00:12,764 --> 00:00:14,015
I was covetous,
5
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:16,393
and I put some Yoplait peach yogurt
in my butthole
6
00:00:16,393 --> 00:00:17,477
and let a cat lick it.
7
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[Yumyulack] Holy shit. Ew! A cat?
8
00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:20,188
You're gonna make me barf.
9
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,773
Are you supposed to talk like that?
10
00:00:21,773 --> 00:00:23,316
I thought this was a safe space.
11
00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:24,901
[Yumyulack] Yeah.
For me to kick your ass!
12
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:27,237
[yelps] What the hell, Father?
13
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You just got bounty-hunted, bitch!
14
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Respect.
15
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♪
16
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[grunts] I'm home.
17
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,377
Nobody talk to me
until I get something to drink.
18
00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:43,962
I know I'm gonna regret asking this,
19
00:00:43,962 --> 00:00:45,714
but why are you dressed like the Pope?
20
00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,883
Oh, Terry, you ignorant slut.
21
00:00:47,883 --> 00:00:49,718
I have to lay low when I bounty hunt.
22
00:00:49,718 --> 00:00:51,011
This is my undercover gear.
23
00:00:51,011 --> 00:00:52,387
Well, I'm glad you had fun.
24
00:00:52,387 --> 00:00:54,723
All I did today was try
to suck my own mound.
25
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I present you the new Pupa.
26
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- Ah!
- Oh, my God!
27
00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,396
Why does he look like
a baby Pennywise?
28
00:01:01,396 --> 00:01:02,606
Cha Pupa!
29
00:01:02,606 --> 00:01:04,566
Aw! That's his cute new thing he says.
30
00:01:04,566 --> 00:01:06,026
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that?
31
00:01:06,026 --> 00:01:08,320
Glen Powell's specialty Kom-BRO-cha.
32
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,030
I did a bunch of bounty hunting today,
33
00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:11,990
and it got me real thirsty for bacteria.
34
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- [bottle shatters]
- What the hell?
35
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,993
No teenager wants to drink that shit.
36
00:01:14,993 --> 00:01:16,995
Wouldn't you rather smoke a fat J
37
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or huff some cumin?
38
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What are you talking about?
39
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The Kom-BRO-cha is marketed
specifically to idiots my age.
40
00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:26,463
Okay. The truth is kombucha
is poisonous to Shlorpians.
41
00:01:26,463 --> 00:01:28,173
But Jesse and Terry are drinking them!
42
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[gulping]
43
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- Mm. Doesn't matter how we taste.
- Jesse, no!
44
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:35,013
Taste? What does that mean?
Why does how I taste matter?
45
00:01:35,013 --> 00:01:38,475
It matters because I need to kill you
and feed you to the Pupa.
46
00:01:38,475 --> 00:01:41,686
Korvo, no!
47
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[Korvo]
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
48
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until the asteroid hit.
49
00:01:47,651 --> 00:01:50,278
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
50
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:52,280
and escaped into the... space,
51
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,741
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
52
00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:56,034
We crashed on Earth,
53
00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,286
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
54
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That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
55
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I'm the one holding the Pupa.
56
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My name is Korvo. This is my show.
57
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:04,167
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
58
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:06,211
Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.
59
00:02:06,211 --> 00:02:07,295
It's a horrible home.
60
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,005
People are stupid and confusing.
61
00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:11,091
Why can't I pump my own gas
in New Jersey?
62
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It's the only Earth activity
that calms me down.
63
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I wish the entire atmosphere was fumes.
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All the good planets let you breathe oil.
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[♪ dramatic music playing]
66
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No!
67
00:02:26,064 --> 00:02:28,233
What's happening here?
What the hell was that?
68
00:02:28,233 --> 00:02:30,694
The ray that makes you sit on the couch
to hear some hard news.
69
00:02:30,694 --> 00:02:32,070
I thought you were gonna kill me.
70
00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:34,114
- I would never do that.
- Okay, good.
71
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Wait. No, I do do it regularly.
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But first I'm going
to explain why I do it.
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Because you respect me.
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No, because confusion
can make your skin taste
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like the bottom of a flip-flop.
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00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:44,916
Every three months,
a very special thing happens.
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I murder you,
blend your body into mush,
78
00:02:46,835 --> 00:02:47,961
and feed you to the Pupa.
79
00:02:47,961 --> 00:02:50,088
- No, you don't!
- Oh, yes, I do.
80
00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:53,633
See, the Pupa needs to be fed your meat
every 90 days or he dies.
81
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:56,720
I've lived here just as long as you
and that's literally never happened.
82
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,722
Yes, it has. You just don't remember
83
00:02:58,722 --> 00:03:01,224
because we upload your consciousness
to the ship's hard drive
84
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,935
and transfer your memories
to a new brain before I bap you.
85
00:03:03,935 --> 00:03:06,938
But we leave out the murder memory
so you don't get all pissy.
86
00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:08,857
Okay, fine. Then why am I here?
87
00:03:08,857 --> 00:03:10,984
Allow me to show and tell you.
88
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Cha Pupa!
89
00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,862
Huh. That really is cute.
90
00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:15,989
AISHA, where did I put
that instructional geode
91
00:03:15,989 --> 00:03:17,073
that came with the Pupa?
92
00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:19,576
[AISHA] Don't ask me.
I'm not Mary friggin' Poppins.
93
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Oh, nice. We actually kept it.
94
00:03:21,036 --> 00:03:23,246
The Pupa Owner's Manual, Quartz Edition
95
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[computer whirring, beeping]
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00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:28,710
[electronic voice] Caution.
Failing to feed your Pupa
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00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,754
replicant meat will result in death.
98
00:03:31,922 --> 00:03:34,007
Proper care of your Pupa
will ensure it evolves
99
00:03:34,007 --> 00:03:35,884
and terraforms your new world.
100
00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:38,720
You could feed your Pupa choice cuts
of the nutrient replicant
101
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or just blend and serve whole.
102
00:03:40,931 --> 00:03:43,016
- [Terry] Oh, that's what we do.
- [Korvo] Shh!
103
00:03:43,016 --> 00:03:44,351
Hello, replicant.
104
00:03:44,351 --> 00:03:46,436
Have you had a fulfilling day
of bounty hunting?
105
00:03:46,436 --> 00:03:48,188
Yes, team leader. I sure have.
106
00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:49,606
[team leader laughs]
107
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- [crystal slurping]
- [replicant groans]
108
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- What an idiot.
- I hate this.
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[electronic voice]
The team leader now processes
110
00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:57,906
the replicant's proteins
in the painless method
111
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devised by our Shlorpian doctors.
112
00:04:00,659 --> 00:04:01,826
[replicant screaming]
113
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,703
That doesn't seem painless.
114
00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:06,623
He means for the team leader.
He's not in any pain.
115
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[noisy munching]
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[Jesse] Aw, look at him go.
117
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And now I upload the memories,
minus just a few.
118
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[electronic voice] In a few weeks,
the new body will begin
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to produce nutrients,
and the cycle will begin again.
120
00:04:25,392 --> 00:04:27,769
Under no circumstances should this video
be shown to your nutrient replicant.
121
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This is freaking me out!
122
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Don't worry. Being freaked doesn't affect
the flavor of your flesh.
123
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Ugh! Stop talking about my flesh!
124
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,736
So you guys just kill me
and Jesse whenever you want?
125
00:04:36,736 --> 00:04:39,239
No. Not me. Just you.
126
00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:40,532
Why just me?
127
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We all have mission jobs.
128
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I'm the chronicler,
Terry cares for the Pupa,
129
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Korvo's team leader.
130
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And you're the nutrient replicant.
131
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I'm the bounty hunter.
I literally bounty-hunted this morning.
132
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This isn't Star Wars, bro.
133
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That's something
the Shlorpian elders made up
134
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so you wouldn't question your actual role
as a delicious treat.
135
00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:59,885
But I've seen the Pupa eat
all sorts of fast food and junk.
136
00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:01,845
- Just let him eat that.
- No, it's empty calories.
137
00:05:01,845 --> 00:05:04,347
Terry and Jesse promised
they'd stop feeding him that stuff.
138
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We've been good.
139
00:05:05,432 --> 00:05:08,476
- Yeah, we just say, "No way, Jose."
- Cha Pupa!
140
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:12,105
Being the nutrient replicant is
the highest honor a Shlorpian can have.
141
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Your job is the most important
out of all of us.
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[Yumyulack] Oh, man.
He is looking pretty hungry.
143
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Poor little guy.
Okay, screw it. I'm in.
144
00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:22,657
Plus you'll save
my memories anyway, right?
145
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:24,701
Yep. And after, you won't even remember.
146
00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:25,994
We'll be back to normal.
147
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Do you mind if this one time
I do it myself?
148
00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:31,458
Sure. How do you wanna do it?
Sword? Flamethrower?
149
00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:33,960
That thing where you rub your mound
while hanging yourself in the closet?
150
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,420
Just a simple ray will do.
151
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:39,049
Here you go. Let me just grab the crystal
that sucks your memories out. Ah!
152
00:05:39,049 --> 00:05:41,927
Anyone comes at me with the crystal,
I'll blow your fucking head off!
153
00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,261
Cha Pupa?
154
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- Ah!
- Stay back.
155
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,723
It's not as bad as it sounds.
156
00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:48,308
We just print out another you.
157
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We can take all these memories away too.
You won't be sad at all.
158
00:05:50,936 --> 00:05:53,021
Oh, you're right about that.
I won't be sad.
159
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Because I'm blasting the Me Machine.
160
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Put that ray gun down
and kill yourself right now, mister!
161
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[both grunting]
162
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:02,697
- [explosion booms]
- [Yumyulack screams]
163
00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:05,784
No!
164
00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:07,744
He ruined my shirt!
165
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:12,624
The Pupa's gonna starve
without his Yum meat.
166
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The mission's doomed.
167
00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:16,002
We're all gonna die,
and I never even got to tour
168
00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:17,837
the Burlington Coat Factory factory!
169
00:06:17,837 --> 00:06:20,507
Everyone chill the fuck out.
Uh, let me workshop this.
170
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Pupa, eat this. It's good for you.
171
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- Cha Pupa.
- [stomach growls]
172
00:06:23,927 --> 00:06:26,304
- It's all gross and burnt up.
- He needs to eat it to live.
173
00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:28,807
What if we feed the little guy
something else from the home world?
174
00:06:28,807 --> 00:06:31,768
Yes! I purposely hid some
Shlorpian powdered calorie chunks
175
00:06:31,768 --> 00:06:33,144
in the emergency rations kit.
176
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'Cause that's what I do.
I think ahead, baby.
177
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,608
Oh, shit. I ate the chunks last year
when we ran out of snacks.
178
00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,026
Those were for emergencies!
179
00:06:40,026 --> 00:06:41,736
It was an emergency.
180
00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:44,155
I had to binge all of
Shadow and Bone season two
181
00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:45,490
so I could spoil it on Discord
182
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:47,617
before my Discord dudes
could spoil it for me.
183
00:06:47,617 --> 00:06:49,995
- Here. Lick the wrappers.
- No. Cha Pupa.
184
00:06:49,995 --> 00:06:51,079
You two stay down here
185
00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:52,706
and try to get the Pupa
to lick that wrapper
186
00:06:52,706 --> 00:06:55,083
while I go work on fixing
the Yumyulack printer.
187
00:06:56,084 --> 00:06:58,628
[AISHA] Are you sure that
makeup glue's strong enough?
188
00:06:58,628 --> 00:07:00,797
This is drag brunch grade
eyelash adhesive
189
00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:02,924
I got from Terry's vanity. It'll work.
190
00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:04,885
[AISHA] You ever think about
what your drag name would be?
191
00:07:04,885 --> 00:07:06,386
Mine's Nefertitties
192
00:07:06,386 --> 00:07:08,346
'cause I would have some big old titties.
193
00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:09,806
Oh, that is good.
194
00:07:09,806 --> 00:07:11,224
Alright, let's see if this thing works.
195
00:07:11,224 --> 00:07:13,935
[machine beeps, whirs]
196
00:07:15,145 --> 00:07:18,023
Ugh, this doesn't look right.
Scan this thing for nutrients.
197
00:07:18,023 --> 00:07:20,317
[AISHA] Scanning.
That thing is all jacked up.
198
00:07:20,317 --> 00:07:21,902
The Pupa won't get anything from that.
199
00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:23,486
Damn it. And the printer's shot.
200
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:24,779
We'll have to try something else.
201
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,281
- [AISHA] Is it expanding?
- Oh!
202
00:07:26,281 --> 00:07:28,533
Oh, shit. The growth particles
are out of control.
203
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:30,785
AISHA, open the hatch.
We have to get it off the ship.
204
00:07:30,785 --> 00:07:33,496
Oh, crap, crap. Shitty, shitty, crap.
205
00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:37,751
[AISHA]
Are you gonna just leave it there?
206
00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:40,128
I'll call heavy item pickup.
They'll get it on Tuesday.
207
00:07:40,128 --> 00:07:42,380
[AISHA] The city is not going like that.
208
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:44,633
Oh, come on. Just a wittle-bitty taste.
209
00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,718
- Mm, yummy.
- No!
210
00:07:46,718 --> 00:07:50,513
Terry, look. I got Yum's
Old Spice Swagger deodorant!
211
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,599
This has to be loaded with Yum germs.
212
00:07:52,599 --> 00:07:55,936
Oh, yeah! Here you go, Pupes.
It's gym bag flavored.
213
00:07:56,228 --> 00:07:57,979
- [Pupa barfs]
- [stomach growls]
214
00:07:57,979 --> 00:07:59,231
Are you okay, little guy?
215
00:07:59,231 --> 00:08:01,608
- Oh, cha Pupa...
- [stomach growling]
216
00:08:03,235 --> 00:08:04,361
Ah!
217
00:08:05,654 --> 00:08:07,739
He just sharted a side table?
218
00:08:07,739 --> 00:08:10,492
Oh, no. This looks like it came
from my apartment on the home world.
219
00:08:10,492 --> 00:08:12,911
Your Pupa just sharted it out
with some orange goo.
220
00:08:12,911 --> 00:08:15,580
- Excuse me? My Pupa.
- You heard me.
221
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:16,873
[goo splatters]
222
00:08:18,208 --> 00:08:20,377
The Pupa is prematurely
squirting out terraforming fluids
223
00:08:20,377 --> 00:08:22,837
because his body's malnourished
without his nutrients.
224
00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:24,005
Well, that blows.
225
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,757
Why does it all look like Shlorpian stuff?
226
00:08:25,757 --> 00:08:27,425
Because he has everything
from the home world
227
00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:28,760
coded into his DNA.
228
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,928
Isn't this a good thing?
229
00:08:29,928 --> 00:08:32,180
Don't we want the Pupa to terraform?
230
00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:34,015
This isn't a controlled terraformation.
231
00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:35,350
The Pupa's body is breaking down.
232
00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:37,269
This is a destructive
and uncontrollable process
233
00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:38,395
that will ruin this planet.
234
00:08:38,395 --> 00:08:39,980
If the Pupa doesn't get nutrients soon,
235
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,481
his sharting will get worse.
236
00:08:41,481 --> 00:08:43,567
He'll die and so will our chances
237
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,151
of rebuilding the home world.
238
00:08:45,151 --> 00:08:46,778
Pupa already has a taste for flesh,
239
00:08:46,778 --> 00:08:48,863
so let's just find a human
similar to Yumyulack
240
00:08:48,863 --> 00:08:49,990
and feed them to him.
241
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,324
Yes, that could work,
242
00:08:51,324 --> 00:08:53,451
but it would have to be
a real pathetic, ugly loser
243
00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:54,661
just like Yumyulack.
244
00:08:54,661 --> 00:08:57,372
Uh, are you seeing
this floating Yumyulack head out there?
245
00:08:57,372 --> 00:08:59,499
What? Don't worry about that.
Who knows where that came from?
246
00:08:59,499 --> 00:09:01,710
The Solar Opposites have to find
247
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:05,338
a petty bounty hunting-type human
who smells like a foot.
248
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:09,092
- Next.
- [Terry] Hello, neighbor Kevin.
249
00:09:09,092 --> 00:09:12,012
You will be reading
for the part of Yumyulack.
250
00:09:12,012 --> 00:09:14,556
This is so cool.
Always wanted to be an actor.
251
00:09:14,556 --> 00:09:16,850
You know, back in the day,
I made some docking videos
252
00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:19,644
on YouTube before the algorithm
demonetized foreskin.
253
00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:21,730
- Next.
- Hi, I'm Sean Giambrone.
254
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,273
I used to be on ABC's The Goldbergs.
255
00:09:23,273 --> 00:09:24,983
- Next!
- Thank you for inviting me.
256
00:09:24,983 --> 00:09:26,484
I have many special skills.
257
00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:29,112
I am a pre-certified Poker Face who--
258
00:09:29,112 --> 00:09:31,323
- Ow! Shit! Fuck!
- [Jesse] Principal Cooke,
259
00:09:31,323 --> 00:09:33,450
always fun to see you out
in the real world.
260
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:34,701
Okay, so for the audition,
261
00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:36,369
we're workshopping a scene from Dune.
262
00:09:36,369 --> 00:09:37,662
Put your foot in that box.
263
00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:44,586
Uh, oh, I feel something licking me.
264
00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:47,464
When the fear of being licked is gone,
only you will remain.
265
00:09:47,464 --> 00:09:50,217
- [crunching]
- Ow! Now it's biting me. I knew it!
266
00:09:50,217 --> 00:09:52,302
These sicko internet perverts
just want pics
267
00:09:52,302 --> 00:09:55,513
of your bloody feet,
and they aren't gonna pay for them!
268
00:09:55,513 --> 00:09:57,057
Bye, Principal Cooke.
269
00:09:57,057 --> 00:09:59,059
Uh, cha Pupa.
270
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:01,061
Goddammit, Pupa.
We're trying to help you, you little shit.
271
00:10:01,061 --> 00:10:02,437
[Pupa retches]
272
00:10:04,856 --> 00:10:06,524
That's my bank from the home world.
273
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:08,818
It had terrible operating hours. Run!
274
00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,695
[all yell]
275
00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:12,697
[Pupa coughs]
276
00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:14,741
Well, my friends and lover,
we're out of moves.
277
00:10:14,741 --> 00:10:16,826
The Yumyulack-making machine
can't be fixed.
278
00:10:16,826 --> 00:10:17,911
The Pupa won't eat.
279
00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:20,622
There's a big-ass Yumyulack head
floating over Denver.
280
00:10:20,622 --> 00:10:22,540
- Fuck Denver!
- I fear, for once,
281
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,751
we can't sci-fi our way out of this.
282
00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:26,962
Poor Pupa. I'm so sorry.
283
00:10:26,962 --> 00:10:28,046
[Pupa retches]
284
00:10:28,838 --> 00:10:30,966
[AISHA] Come on, Korvo.
Don't be a little bitch.
285
00:10:30,966 --> 00:10:32,509
- Just tell them.
- AISHA, no.
286
00:10:32,509 --> 00:10:34,636
What? What shouldn't you be
a little bitch about?
287
00:10:34,636 --> 00:10:36,012
[AISHA] You gotta tell them.
288
00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:39,975
I can't. It's a moment of weakness
I've held for so long. Ugh.
289
00:10:39,975 --> 00:10:43,186
What I'm about to reveal
may shake you to your very cores.
290
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:45,105
It may destroy the foundation on which
291
00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:47,065
- our relationship has been--
- Just tell us!
292
00:10:47,065 --> 00:10:50,277
There is... another Yumyulack.
293
00:10:50,277 --> 00:10:51,778
[Terry and Jesse gasp]
294
00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:57,409
Gasping so hard at that revelation
got me so hungry!
295
00:10:57,409 --> 00:10:59,411
Why are Jersey Mike's sammies so good?
296
00:10:59,411 --> 00:11:01,997
They get their oil and vinegar
straight from the New Jersey Turnpike.
297
00:11:01,997 --> 00:11:03,081
Hey, what did you mean
298
00:11:03,081 --> 00:11:05,292
that one time you said
there's another Yumyulack?
299
00:11:05,292 --> 00:11:06,918
Hmm. Well, one time,
I didn't kill Yumyulack
300
00:11:06,918 --> 00:11:08,545
and feed him to the Pupa.
I let him escape.
301
00:11:08,545 --> 00:11:10,714
I-I-I don't really remember the details.
302
00:11:10,714 --> 00:11:13,508
- It's a bit of a haze.
- [AISHA] We good. I got that shit on tape.
303
00:11:13,508 --> 00:11:16,386
No! No, no. We don't have
to watch the tape. That's not important.
304
00:11:16,386 --> 00:11:18,471
[AISHA] I put in a Ring camera
after someone kept stealing
305
00:11:18,471 --> 00:11:20,307
my porcelain frogs, Terry!
306
00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:21,391
Check it out.
307
00:11:23,435 --> 00:11:24,603
- Ah!
- What are you doing?
308
00:11:24,603 --> 00:11:26,646
Please, don't stab me.
309
00:11:26,646 --> 00:11:27,731
No, I-I wasn't.
310
00:11:27,731 --> 00:11:29,357
I was gonna suck out your memories
and then kill you.
311
00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:32,861
No, but please.
Papa, don't do that either.
312
00:11:32,861 --> 00:11:34,070
Papa?
313
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:36,031
- Ah.
- [crystal slurping]
314
00:11:36,031 --> 00:11:37,699
- Go.
- You're not gonna kill me?
315
00:11:37,699 --> 00:11:38,909
I've got a copy of your memories.
316
00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:40,702
Now go before I change my mind.
317
00:11:41,119 --> 00:11:42,203
Damn you, AISHA.
318
00:11:42,704 --> 00:11:45,248
He called me Papa.
No Yumyulack has ever said that.
319
00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:48,168
He was so sweet. Not like all
the other dipshit Yumyulacks.
320
00:11:48,168 --> 00:11:52,005
Oh, Korvo. I thought I was
the only one with daddy issues.
321
00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:54,966
I've been trying to develop them
as a Cesar Chavez Day present to you.
322
00:11:54,966 --> 00:11:56,301
But I guess it worked too well.
323
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:59,095
Oh, my God. Stop being such a pushover!
324
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:02,891
You're team leader, man.
Pull yourself together!
325
00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:05,268
Your Pupa is getting gray
and blasting goo.
326
00:12:05,268 --> 00:12:08,146
We've gotta find that Yumyulack.
When did you let him go?
327
00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:10,232
It was back when I was really
into eating stews,
328
00:12:10,232 --> 00:12:13,193
so I got the idea to send him
to live a peaceful existence in Ireland.
329
00:12:13,193 --> 00:12:16,112
Plus, I knew Terry would never go there
due to his feud with The Edge.
330
00:12:16,112 --> 00:12:18,615
Well, that goateed,
beanie-wearing bitch stole my look!
331
00:12:18,615 --> 00:12:19,950
[spurting]
332
00:12:21,034 --> 00:12:24,621
Fresh konixberries for sa...
333
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,164
Where am I?
334
00:12:26,164 --> 00:12:28,041
Cha Pupa.
335
00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:29,376
[vendor and stand explode]
336
00:12:29,376 --> 00:12:30,544
We're running out of time!
337
00:12:30,544 --> 00:12:32,420
AISHA, watch the Pupa
and see if you can get
338
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,172
the Yumyulack-making machine
working again.
339
00:12:34,172 --> 00:12:35,507
[AISHA] I was about to go on break.
340
00:12:35,507 --> 00:12:37,425
You'll get OT. We'll fly to Ireland,
341
00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,219
grab that tender-ass Yumyulack,
bring him back,
342
00:12:39,219 --> 00:12:40,887
and feed the Pupa before it's too late.
343
00:12:40,887 --> 00:12:42,347
You know,
I-I-I'm just telling you right now,
344
00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:44,599
if I see The Edge, I'm not gonna walk on.
345
00:12:44,599 --> 00:12:46,851
I'm gonna slap that goatee
right off his face.
346
00:12:46,851 --> 00:12:49,145
It's not gonna be a beautiful day for him.
347
00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:51,815
♪
348
00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:57,112
[♪ Celtic violin music playing]
349
00:12:57,946 --> 00:12:59,531
This place looks hella quaint.
350
00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,158
Wait, is that The Edge
playing the fiddle in the corner?
351
00:13:02,534 --> 00:13:05,620
Terry, that's a lady and she's, like, 90.
352
00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:07,998
Hello. Name's Seamus O'Drinky.
353
00:13:07,998 --> 00:13:10,208
This is me family's Irish pub.
354
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,836
We're looking for a sweet
wannabe fuckboy. Ye high.
355
00:13:12,836 --> 00:13:14,129
Might go by the name Yumyulack
356
00:13:14,129 --> 00:13:15,589
or Grand Muff Tarkin,
357
00:13:15,589 --> 00:13:16,882
his Xbox name.
358
00:13:16,882 --> 00:13:18,508
Sorry. Can't help you.
359
00:13:18,508 --> 00:13:21,887
I'd remember if a funny-looking fella
like that came in here.
360
00:13:21,887 --> 00:13:25,599
- Thanks for your time.
- I'm watching you, fiddle slut.
361
00:13:31,730 --> 00:13:33,899
McYumyulack, it's Seamus.
362
00:13:33,899 --> 00:13:38,069
Seems your Pa's finally come to town.
363
00:13:39,195 --> 00:13:41,656
Look, you know only one dirty-ass hoe
364
00:13:41,656 --> 00:13:44,910
would need that much
X-Treme Sour Gooseberry Rockstars.
365
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:46,286
That son of a bitch The Edge.
366
00:13:46,286 --> 00:13:48,204
Oh, my God. It's Yumyulack.
367
00:13:48,204 --> 00:13:50,332
Jesus, Terry. Get over it.
368
00:13:53,126 --> 00:13:55,837
This must be his place. Look at the name.
369
00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:58,006
[Terry] Classy. Hey, there he is!
370
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,885
Oh, this is gonna be easy peasy,
Dan Cortese.
371
00:14:01,885 --> 00:14:03,678
I'm excited to see Yumyulack,
372
00:14:03,678 --> 00:14:05,805
even if it is a low-rent Irish version.
373
00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:08,516
Don't bring emotion into this.
He's just Pupa food.
374
00:14:08,516 --> 00:14:11,144
Ah, stupid wire.
Someone could trip on this.
375
00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:13,939
I'm gonna kick it in three, a-two, and...
376
00:14:13,939 --> 00:14:16,399
- Terry, don't!
- [explosion booms]
377
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:21,238
[Irish accent] You arseholes
aren't taking me back. Get fucked!
378
00:14:21,238 --> 00:14:22,906
That Yumyulack's not sweet or tender.
379
00:14:22,906 --> 00:14:24,699
And he talks all Irishy now?
380
00:14:24,699 --> 00:14:27,035
He played me, calling me Papa.
381
00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:29,663
We gotta take this bitch down now.
382
00:14:30,372 --> 00:14:31,706
Oh, hell, yeah. Another wire.
383
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:33,041
[Korvo] Terry, would you just leave it?
384
00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:34,292
Fine.
385
00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:37,963
Yumyulack?
386
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:41,633
We just came to say hi
and see how things are going.
387
00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:45,011
Bull shite! And I go by McYumyulack now.
388
00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:46,805
That's me Irish name.
389
00:14:46,805 --> 00:14:48,098
I really like that for him.
390
00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:50,475
For years, I've waited
and planned for this day.
391
00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:53,436
Booby-trapped the whole house,
so don't come any closer
392
00:14:53,436 --> 00:14:55,522
or I'll blow yas to hell.
393
00:14:55,522 --> 00:14:57,524
I know we hate on the guy
for being such a dick,
394
00:14:57,524 --> 00:14:59,943
but he's really made
a life for himself here.
395
00:14:59,943 --> 00:15:03,113
Yeah. Maybe we should peace out
and just let him be Irish in peace. Peace!
396
00:15:03,113 --> 00:15:06,241
No! We need to get him to the house,
chop him up, and feed him to the Pupa
397
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:08,952
or there won't be a planet
for Ireland to be the crown jewel of.
398
00:15:08,952 --> 00:15:10,620
I heard that!
399
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:12,205
[explosions boom]
400
00:15:13,123 --> 00:15:16,334
Leave our lad alone or we'll burn you up
and bury you in the peat!
401
00:15:16,334 --> 00:15:19,379
Damn it. All our sci-fi weapons
got confiscated at the airport.
402
00:15:19,379 --> 00:15:21,673
Aer Lingus, more like ass dingus.
403
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,425
Don't take Aer Lingus' name in vain.
404
00:15:23,425 --> 00:15:25,051
It's the sexiest airline.
405
00:15:25,051 --> 00:15:27,929
We gotta grab McYum Nuts
and get the "fook" out of here.
406
00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:30,140
Alright, you bog-brained Murphies,
407
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:32,559
I shit all over your shamrocks.
408
00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:35,061
And Cillian Murphy can lick my balls!
409
00:15:36,855 --> 00:15:38,315
Oh! Ow!
410
00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:40,442
[♪ dramatic music playing]
411
00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:44,863
Ah!
412
00:15:45,614 --> 00:15:47,324
Oh! Ah!
413
00:15:47,657 --> 00:15:49,576
[McYumyulack panting]
414
00:15:52,037 --> 00:15:53,038
Ah!
415
00:15:57,375 --> 00:15:58,376
Ooh-wee!
416
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:04,841
[both grunting]
417
00:16:07,093 --> 00:16:09,554
- You're good.
- Aye. I had a good teacher.
418
00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:11,723
- Oh, was it me?
- No, you fucking idiot!
419
00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:14,809
It was Sensei Sean
at the O'Punchies Karate dojo!
420
00:16:15,727 --> 00:16:18,146
[both grunting]
421
00:16:19,105 --> 00:16:21,483
Finish him, Korvo! Finish him!
422
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:23,652
Papa? Please don't make me go.
423
00:16:23,652 --> 00:16:26,947
I have no choice. I'm not your papa.
I'm the team leader.
424
00:16:26,947 --> 00:16:28,823
And you have nutrients the Pupa needs.
425
00:16:28,823 --> 00:16:30,116
It's my duty and yours.
426
00:16:30,116 --> 00:16:34,704
You taught me a long time ago
to only care about meself.
427
00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:36,748
- So that's what I'm gonna do.
- [ice cracks]
428
00:16:36,748 --> 00:16:38,833
- [splashing]
- Ah, no!
429
00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:43,171
Oh, my God.
They fell in the ice! Where are they?
430
00:16:43,797 --> 00:16:46,132
RIP, Korvo and Yumyulack.
431
00:16:46,758 --> 00:16:48,927
So what should two fun single gals do
432
00:16:48,927 --> 00:16:51,263
in a town full of repressed
drunk European men?
433
00:16:51,263 --> 00:16:53,431
Ah! I got him! I...
434
00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:54,808
Wait, were you guys just gonna leave?
435
00:16:54,808 --> 00:16:56,142
You both went in the ice!
436
00:16:56,142 --> 00:16:59,062
In the movies, that means you're dead.
Do your own research.
437
00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:00,855
[Korvo]
You didn't even wait five seconds.
438
00:17:00,855 --> 00:17:02,774
Well, it's cold out here. I'm sorry.
439
00:17:05,902 --> 00:17:08,905
[people screaming]
440
00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:17,789
[liquid splatters]
441
00:17:17,789 --> 00:17:20,417
So, yeah, The Edge was just
sitting there in the Dublin Airport.
442
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:23,128
He was such a nice guy.
He even gave me one of his beanies.
443
00:17:23,128 --> 00:17:25,589
He said we could be Beanie Boys together
so we don't have to compete.
444
00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:28,550
Yep. No more competish,
so my whole thing's resolved.
445
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,760
We should get this over with
before the Pupa gets any worse.
446
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,429
[normal voice]
This isn't over yet.
447
00:17:32,429 --> 00:17:33,805
Hey, what happened to your accent?
448
00:17:33,805 --> 00:17:36,349
It goes away if I don't watch
a Colin Farrell movie every day.
449
00:17:36,349 --> 00:17:38,268
McYumyulack, I just want to say I'm sorry.
450
00:17:38,268 --> 00:17:39,686
I didn't want it to be this way.
451
00:17:39,686 --> 00:17:40,854
If I could change the rules,
452
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:42,814
I never would've murdered you
over and over again
453
00:17:42,814 --> 00:17:45,233
and fed you to the Pupa
like you were applesauce.
454
00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:46,818
Yeah, right. You're a narc!
455
00:17:46,818 --> 00:17:49,321
I'll pull your memories out
in case we ever repair the printer.
456
00:17:49,321 --> 00:17:52,532
How about you just admit
you're an asshole and let me go?
457
00:17:52,532 --> 00:17:54,826
Sorry. Timing just isn't right.
458
00:17:54,826 --> 00:17:55,911
Ah.
459
00:17:55,911 --> 00:17:57,370
- Stop!
- Ah! What?
460
00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:59,331
- Timing wasn't right.
- Get outta the way!
461
00:17:59,331 --> 00:18:00,916
When you let this McYum go,
462
00:18:00,916 --> 00:18:02,709
did you print out another one right away?
463
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:05,128
- Yes, of course.
- And did you feed him to the Pupa?
464
00:18:05,128 --> 00:18:07,631
No. The nutrients don't come in
for a couple of weeks.
465
00:18:07,631 --> 00:18:08,715
But when you were waiting,
466
00:18:08,715 --> 00:18:12,052
the Pupa didn't shart
any terraforming goo.
467
00:18:12,052 --> 00:18:14,262
[gasps] Wait. You're right. He didn't.
468
00:18:14,262 --> 00:18:16,223
A-ha! So what does that mean?
469
00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:19,351
It means he must have gotten his nutrients
from something else.
470
00:18:19,351 --> 00:18:22,479
Maybe the Pupa got fed
something to stay alive.
471
00:18:22,479 --> 00:18:25,148
That's impossible. We haven't been feeding
the Pupa any Earth food.
472
00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:26,942
You guys told me you were being good.
473
00:18:27,275 --> 00:18:28,485
Oopsies.
474
00:18:28,485 --> 00:18:30,195
You two fed him something, didn't you?
What was it?
475
00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:31,863
We totally ignored your rule.
476
00:18:31,863 --> 00:18:33,281
We fed him all sorts of stuff.
477
00:18:33,281 --> 00:18:34,783
We knew he was gonna get
all of his vitamins
478
00:18:34,783 --> 00:18:36,284
and minerals
from Yumyulack anyway,
479
00:18:36,284 --> 00:18:38,745
so it shouldn't even really matter
if we gave him a little extra.
480
00:18:38,745 --> 00:18:40,914
I explicitly said no human food.
481
00:18:40,914 --> 00:18:43,041
It was last year right before
we went to that other planet.
482
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:45,377
- What did you feed him?
- It could have been McDonald's?
483
00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:46,836
Great. Let's go get some McDonald's.
484
00:18:46,836 --> 00:18:48,505
- Or Burger King?
- Okay.
485
00:18:48,505 --> 00:18:51,591
I don't like how much you ignored my rule,
but let's get that too.
486
00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:53,760
And Wendy's, Taco Bell,
Pizza Hut, Domino's...
487
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,304
Wingstop, Papa John's,
KFC, Panda Express...
488
00:18:56,304 --> 00:18:58,682
But never any Long John Silvers!
489
00:18:58,682 --> 00:19:01,101
Yeah. We drew the line
at Long John Silvers.
490
00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:02,394
We're not monsters.
491
00:19:02,394 --> 00:19:03,937
We don't have time
to narrow all that down.
492
00:19:03,937 --> 00:19:05,355
The Pupa is dying.
493
00:19:05,355 --> 00:19:07,315
We need to feed him this Yumyulack
and then we'll figure it out.
494
00:19:07,315 --> 00:19:08,817
Well, I vote we narrow it down.
495
00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:10,402
Sorry, this is the only way.
496
00:19:10,402 --> 00:19:12,487
- [crystal slurping]
- [Yumyulack groaning]
497
00:19:12,487 --> 00:19:13,989
[Pupa] Cha Pupa.
498
00:19:13,989 --> 00:19:15,448
Wait. Did you hear that?
499
00:19:15,448 --> 00:19:16,658
Stop fucking stalling.
500
00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:18,118
I'm not! The Pupa speaks!
501
00:19:18,577 --> 00:19:20,328
Cha Pupa.
502
00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:22,789
So? He's been saying "cha Pupa" a bunch.
503
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,249
It's super cute, but that won't help.
504
00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:26,960
What if he's trying to say "chalupa"?
505
00:19:27,544 --> 00:19:29,170
[Terry/Korvo/Jesse]
Oh!
506
00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:33,049
[Terry] Can you believe it?
507
00:19:33,049 --> 00:19:34,259
The little guy was just trying to tell us
508
00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:35,719
what he needed the whole time.
509
00:19:35,719 --> 00:19:37,095
Classic Solar.
510
00:19:37,095 --> 00:19:38,972
Mm, yummy cha Pupa!
511
00:19:38,972 --> 00:19:40,891
Now that we can feed the Pupa chalupas,
512
00:19:40,891 --> 00:19:42,475
can we stop killing me every 90 days?
513
00:19:42,475 --> 00:19:45,645
Well, I hate changing my routine,
but in this case, I'll make an exception.
514
00:19:45,645 --> 00:19:49,316
Who knew chalupas would provide
the same vitamins as alien meat?
515
00:19:49,316 --> 00:19:51,943
Pupa is so full of nutrients.
He's evolving!
516
00:19:51,943 --> 00:19:55,113
Cha Pupa!
517
00:19:55,363 --> 00:19:57,282
Whoa! Will you look at that?
518
00:19:57,282 --> 00:20:00,827
He even turned a new color
just in time for the end of the season.
519
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,245
And by that, I mean autumn.
520
00:20:02,245 --> 00:20:05,040
I'm just happy we ended the day
without any huge change.
521
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,792
Unlike last year, when we had
to leave the planet
522
00:20:07,792 --> 00:20:08,960
and all that nonsense.
523
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,545
That's right. We saved the Pupa,
524
00:20:10,545 --> 00:20:12,255
Yumyulack doesn't have to get harvested,
525
00:20:12,255 --> 00:20:13,924
and nothing bad came from it.
526
00:20:13,924 --> 00:20:16,218
A big win for the Solar Opposites!
527
00:20:16,218 --> 00:20:18,053
Terry, ring the bell!
528
00:20:18,678 --> 00:20:21,890
- [bell ringing]
- [all cheering]
529
00:20:22,599 --> 00:20:26,186
I can live! Chalupa, chalupa, chalupa!
530
00:20:26,186 --> 00:20:28,855
[♪ ominous music playing]
531
00:20:34,402 --> 00:20:38,490
Yes, I am one step closer
to regaining control of the mission.
532
00:20:38,865 --> 00:20:42,118
Soon enough. Soon enough.
533
00:20:42,118 --> 00:20:44,955
[maniacal laughter]
534
00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:50,627
Goddammit. How the fuck
am I gonna get down there?
535
00:20:50,627 --> 00:20:53,713
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
536
00:21:35,088 --> 00:21:36,590
[mimicking laser fire]