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00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,919
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007
♪
3
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:11,970
[♪ ominous music playing]
4
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[Yumyulack] Come on, Korvo, you can do it!
5
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,020
You got this, my King.
6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,730
- [Korvo groans]
- [flatulence]
7
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,690
- [cheering]
- You did it, Korvo.
8
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,567
Your human butthole's finally closed up.
9
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:26,943
You're back to normal.
10
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,237
I was starting to think
you'd be human forever,
11
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,281
especially since Jesse, Terry,
and I have been back
12
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,324
to being fully Shlorpian
for a hot second now.
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Ah, yes, it's good to be blue again,
14
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though of all the human orifices,
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I shall miss le anus the most.
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Fair thee well, old friend.
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I don't get it. We were human,
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and now we're Shlorpian again?
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How did that happen? Seriously!
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What's the deal?
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- Terry! Calm down.
- No, I want the answers!
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Give me the answers!
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There was no "previously on."
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I don't understand what's going on.
25
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I'm a new viewer, and I don't understand
what's going on.
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He's going Real Housewives. Grab him!
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- Get off me! Let me go!
- [all grunting]
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I'm calm, okay? I'm calm. I'm good.
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- You promise?
- [sighs] Yes.
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But for real, how'd this happen?
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[AISHA] So to recap,
y'all had been on Earth
32
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:08,026
so long without the Pupa terraforming,
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that your Shlorpian bodies
started to adapt
34
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to the environment, and you turned human.
35
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Uh, but why aren't we on Earth anymore?
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I know, but just in case
Terry doesn't understand.
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[AISHA] To stop the transformation
from becoming permanent,
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you left Earth and resettled on Clervix 3.
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The new atmosphere allowed
your original bodies to reset.
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Does this mean we can
go back to Earth now?
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[AISHA] I guess, if you really
wanna go back
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to that trash-ass planet.
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The human transformation
only happens once.
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We are not going back!
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Geez. Aw, you yelled that so loud.
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And right in the place my ears would be.
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I don't often speak
in such an unceremonious manner,
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but this new planet is the tits.
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Oh, yeah, this planet is
a set of big naturals,
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the top of the tatas.
51
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This place is a literal paradise.
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There's no parking tickets,
the sandwich they have
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instead of the McRib
is offered all year long,
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the environment hasn't been destroyed,
and it isn't full of
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earwigs and centipedes like the last one.
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Everyone here thinks
my voice is hot and sexy,
57
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especially when I say
exotic stuff like "Sheboygan."
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Clervix 3 rules!
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The most popular sport is a version
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of Hide and Seek, which is
61
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basically bounty hunting.
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So that means I'm a cool jock here.
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And you nerds better not forget it.
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Even the Pupa likes it here.
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He's reverted to his original color,
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restarting his terraforming process.
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{\an8}Plus, I think he's
teaching himself to read.
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{\an8}[Jesse] Cute!
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Terry Ann, you agree this planet is
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B-I-G T-I-T-T-Y, don't you?
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Oh, yeah, baby. It's a couple
sweater stretchers for sure.
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The restaurants only have booths,
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no tables, just the way I like.
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Bookstores still exist, so I have
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somewhere to browse magazines,
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and Star Wars actually happened
as a war here.
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So now instead of knowing
pop culture trivia,
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I'm a learned historian.
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The folks here even gave you
that nickname when we arrived.
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What was it again? Swizzle?
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00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,496
Yep, I'm Swizzle.
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I've always wanted a nickname,
and now I've got one.
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Swizzle. [laughs]
84
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Me to a T.
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Then it's settled.
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The Solar Opposites are
staying on Clervix 3.
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[cheering in unison]
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[Korvo] Planet Shlorp was
a perfect utopia,
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until the asteroid hit.
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One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa,
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and escaped into the... space,
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searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
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We crashed on Earth,
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stranding us on an already
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overpopulated planet.
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But then we did a bunch of stuff
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that ended up with us leaving Earth.
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And now we live on Clervix 3,
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which is a wonderful, perfect planet.
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{\an8}That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
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{\an8}I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
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{\an8}I just dropped the Pupa, but it's okay
because this planet is so nice.
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{\an8}I literally have nothing
to complain about at all.
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{\an8}Terry likes it too, so we really aren't
even Opposites anymore.
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{\an8}I hope the title still makes sense.
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[♪ dramatic music]
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[Korvo] Alright, presentation time.
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As you know, we've been here on Clervix 3
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for a couple of months now,
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{\an8}and we've had a lot of funny adventures.
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{\an8}Ha, ha, ha, ha!
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{\an8}But it's time to get serious.
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{\an8}This afternoon, the Supreme Adjudicator
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{\an8}will be visiting our home
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{\an8}to determine whether or not
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{\an8}to grant us permanent citizenship.
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{\an8}I've met a lot of adjudicators in my day,
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{\an8}but this is definitely the highest-stakes
adjudicator yet.
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{\an8}Yeah, well, he's the one who decides
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{\an8}if we get to stay on this planet,
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{\an8}so to make sure everything goes smoothly,
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I've drafted a detailed plan.
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We will be conducting
a full-scale charm offensive
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on the Supreme Adjudicator
with our number-one priority being
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"to not be extra."
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And that's because the three pillars
of Clervixian society are...
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"Simplicity," "blandness,"
and "generic competence."
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Being extra is a crime on this planet,
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and I know we've all dabbled in it before,
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but today we have to lock that shit down.
131
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{\an8}Korvy, babe, I don't
wanna poke holes in this,
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{\an8}but isn't saying extra kind of cringe?
133
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{\an8}I thought it was cheugy.
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{\an8}Extra isn't cringe or cheugy
because this planet
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{\an8}is eight light years from Earth,
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{\an8}so we're technically ahead of all trends.
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{\an8}"Extra" is bussin'.
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- Hell yeah!
- Oh, don't do that!
139
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High fives are too extra!
140
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I have assigned each of you
important jobs for today.
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Jesse! You'll make the traditional
Clervixian Morg soup.
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It's a flavorless room temperature
lumpless chowder.
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I repeat, if you put lumps in the chowder,
we are fucked.
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00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,121
{\an8}I've got tons of great dish prep ideas
145
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{\an8}from watching The Bear on FX on Hulu
146
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{\an8}on the Disney Interstellar bundle.
147
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All of that is way too extra.
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Stick to the recipe and whatever you do,
149
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don't bring up Hulu!
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Yes, Chef!
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00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,048
Yumyulack, you will learn and perform
152
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,551
an a cappella rendition
of the medium-volume,
153
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,345
moderately tempoed
Clervixian Planetary Anthem.
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♪ On it! ♪
155
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And lastly, Terry, you will go purchase
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the mandatory Clervixian dinner helmets.
157
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These guys play it safe as hell
at mealtimes.
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{\an8}[claps] I live to shop,
and I shop to live!
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{\an8}It is vital we execute these assignments
perfectly today,
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{\an8}and that's it.
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{\an8}Thank you for watching.
Good night and good luck.
162
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{\an8}Okay, places. Places.
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{\an8}Look, guys. Tech week was hell,
but we made it.
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{\an8}Let's have a great show, people!
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{\an8}[all in unison] Got your back,
got your back, got your back.
166
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,956
{\an8}Terry, help me rearrange the furniture.
167
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{\an8}We've got too many diagonals in here.
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{\an8}That's the most extra type of angle.
169
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So, I-I didn't wanna say anything in front
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of the replicants
because they're little bitches,
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but are you at all worried that
this planet's, like, too perfect?
172
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Are you saying Clervix 3 only appears
173
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to be an ideal home,
but it actually has a secret,
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{\an8}evil, science fiction, seedy underbelly
that we won't find out about
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{\an8}until it's too late for us to leave?
176
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{\an8}I didn't know that was a thing,
177
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{\an8}but, yes, that's exactly what I mean.
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{\an8}It is a thing, which I've been
watching out for
179
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{\an8}this whole time.
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Any seedy underbellies
would've surfaced by now.
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00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,651
Clervix 3 is nothing
but a nice, non-seedy,
182
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,570
whatever the opposite of an underbelly is.
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- Top tummy.
- But we haven't even looked around!
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00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,449
How can we be sure something terrible
won't be revealed
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in, like, 8 to 10 episodes?
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Terry! Focus! The dinner helmets must be
187
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:10,787
your number-one priority.
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Okay! Okay.
189
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I promise I'm not even gonna think about
190
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or mention this again.
191
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Hundred percent there's a seedy underbelly
up in this shit.
192
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Stay on task! Do not be extra.
193
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[objects clattering]
194
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,306
[Korvo] Jesus H. Christopher Kattan.
195
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,517
We have so much extra-seeming stuff.
196
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,061
Look at all these souvenir keyrings
from our trip to Santa Fe,
197
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,563
these Man in the High Castle
Season 2 FYC screeners,
198
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:38,815
and all of your old baby toys, Pupa!
199
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,358
{\an8}- [gasps]
- [Korvo] Relax!
200
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,318
{\an8}I don't mean your Melissa and Doug
learning pelican.
201
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,362
{\an8}Wait a sec, is this the Extra Ray?
202
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,115
- Of all the rays to leave lying around?
- [ray zaps]
203
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,367
Son of a bitch! We've been Dragon Balled.
204
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,786
Hello! Just walking through.
Nothing to see here.
205
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,955
- Kisses. Okay, bye.
- Hold it right there.
206
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,832
Is that Tom Colicchio-brand
tarragon I smell?
207
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,959
I just wanted to zhuzh up
the soup a little
208
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,169
and impress the Supreme Adjudicator.
209
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,130
No! Zhuzhing is Jewish for extra!
210
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,132
Fine. But you know that ever since
211
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,050
I got bit by the Ratatouille rat,
212
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,803
I've been cursed to cook with soul.
213
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,639
Oh! Yumyulack, what the hell
have you done to yourself?
214
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,058
I'm gonna do a Blue Man Group-inspired
performance
215
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,935
of the Clervixian Planetary Anthem.
216
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,312
No, that's too extra.
Also, why are you red?
217
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,440
Yeah, since I'm blue already,
I went with the
218
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:24,235
♪ Opposite color on the spectrum Mm! ♪
219
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:25,611
The Supreme Adjudicator's gonna love it.
220
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:26,779
No, he won't.
221
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,156
I told you to keep it simple.
222
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,116
Go wash yourself
in the basement sink right now.
223
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,535
♪ You don't understand my art ♪
224
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,619
- Ah!
- [door slams open]
225
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,121
- Ah!
- Great news!
226
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,664
Ha, ha! You got the helmets?
227
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,040
No, silly goose. I got evidence
228
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,500
of the seedy underbelly.
229
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,419
- What?
- Check it out. These trees with cameras
230
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,671
on them are on every corner,
watching our every move.
231
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,215
There is something sick and evil
happening on this planet.
232
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,092
They had cameras like this
everywhere on Earth,
233
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,469
and you never had a problem with it then.
234
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,429
Well, yeah, but that's because
I was complicit
235
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:52,722
in commodifying my privacy.
236
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,807
This isn't evidence of a seedy underbelly.
237
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,434
It's just for speeding tickets.
238
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,977
Now get me those dinner helmets.
239
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,062
Ugh. Fine, but I'm leaving
the camera tree here
240
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,647
because I'm too tired to drag it out.
241
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,484
Knock, knock. Greetings and pleasant
rotations, Solars.
242
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,194
Well, if it isn't our next-door neighbors
243
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,445
Blix and Vorgento.
244
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,739
Greetings and pleasant rotations
to you both.
245
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,782
What is this "greetings and rotations"
horse shit?
246
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,409
It's how you say hi here.
247
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,744
Would it kill you to pay attention?
248
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,204
- Say what?
- Please just say hello.
249
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,164
- These guys like you, Terry.
- Whatever. Fine.
250
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:21,083
- How's your rotaysh?
- Ho, ho, it's Swizzle.
251
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,710
[both laughing]
252
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,712
Ha. Ha, ha. Yeah, I almost forgot
253
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,088
about my awesome nickname.
254
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,465
I never got one of those
on stupid old Earth.
255
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:28,549
Pew, pew.
256
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,634
Korvo, we heard
257
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,177
the Supreme Adjudicator is coming,
258
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,679
so we thought we'd come lend you
our bland, silent support.
259
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,390
We even brought our robo, JK Sevens.
260
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,351
Oh, God, not JK Sevens.
261
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,978
Why does he always have to make
such an obnoxious entrance?
262
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:44,357
Ugh, sorry. We're still training him
to not be so extra.
263
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,900
[Korvo] He acts like
a character who was added
264
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,402
in the fifth season of a TV show
who's very polarizing
265
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,862
but has big merchandising potential.
266
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,364
[JK Sevens beeps]
267
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,532
[TV slams on the floor]
268
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:53,658
Could you please stop your robot
269
00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:54,784
from destroying my house?
270
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,494
Yeah, if we do, he'll just pitch a fit.
271
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,663
We found it best to just
let him tire himself out.
272
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,456
[Korvo] He's just being so extra.
273
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,500
I know. Pupa, why not take JK Sevens
274
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,210
to your room and show him your lovely
275
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,712
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Playmobil playset.
276
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:07,922
No!
277
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,715
I'll let you read more revisionist history
278
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,259
from a leftist perspective.
279
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,927
- [JK Sevens whirring]
- [Pupa groans]
280
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,721
- [Pupa grunting]
- [JK Sevens clanging]
281
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,561
[Pupa grunts]
282
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,853
[Pupa screams]
283
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,691
- [whirring]
- [Pupa] Ugh.
284
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:36,158
- [Korvo grunting]
- [ax thudding]
285
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,327
Ah, thank God I had this sci-fi ax.
286
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,704
[doorbell rings]
287
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:42,373
Supreme Adjudicator! You're early!
288
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:44,041
Greetings and pleasant rotations.
289
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,460
I always arrive early
so I don't have to stay late.
290
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,796
Yeah, staying late is very extra.
291
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:52,174
Pleasant rotations, Lord Adjudicator,
Your Supremeness, Your--
292
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,759
W-w-what should I call you?
293
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,428
You can call me whatever you want
294
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,555
as long as you don't call me
late for dinner.
295
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,015
[Blix and Vorgento laugh]
296
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,350
- He went there!
- Supreme Adjudicator for the win!
297
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,311
Yes, well, go-good one, sir.
298
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,939
That is the caliber of joke
that is acceptable here on Clervix 3:
299
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,984
Straight down the middle.
Not a hint of being extra.
300
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,194
Well, it's nice to have you.
I hope we can--
301
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,030
The adjudication now begins.
302
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,782
Your dwelling appears simple and tasteful.
303
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,117
Not extra in the least.
304
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,327
Oh, I'm delighted to hear that.
305
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,995
But not extra delighted.
306
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,538
[loud crash]
307
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,832
What was that "extra-sounding" noise?
308
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,584
Uh, that was a sneeze.
309
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,878
My sneezes sound like lots
of pans being dropped,
310
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,296
and I do them with my mouth closed
311
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,256
with no visual indication
that it happened.
312
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,382
- [loud bang]
- [Jesse] Aw, shit!
313
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,467
Uh, I just remembered I left
314
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,593
a spoon in the kitchen.
315
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,011
Stay here and, uh,
316
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,846
look through our
very basic coffee table book
317
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,473
that's just pages with numbers on them.
318
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,184
Ah, the number eight.
319
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,686
Good old number 37. [chuckles]
320
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,230
733. Now that is a number.
321
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,482
- Jesse!
- Yes, Chef.
322
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:50,816
What the shit's all this?
323
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,902
The Morg Soup is supposed
to be two ingredients:
324
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:53,986
morg and air.
325
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,529
I got a teeny bit carried away
326
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:56,947
trying to make things perfect.
327
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,532
- Here. You gotta try this.
- No!
328
00:10:58,616 --> 00:10:59,742
- Come on!
- I said no. No, no, no.
329
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,452
- Korvo, please. Try it!
- Nope, I won't.
330
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,913
- Nope, stop it.
- Open that yapper and sip this soup.
331
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,083
[spits] Jesse, I-- That is delicious.
332
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,335
Now throw it away and make
the flavorless version immediately.
333
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,836
- Yes, Chef!
- Stop saying that.
334
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,046
- [oven dings]
- What the hell is in the oven?
335
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,547
It's a special appeteaser
336
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:14,965
I made for the Adjudicator
337
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,592
called the "Pop Rocks Cheezit Bomb."
338
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,594
When you taste it, it's "da bomb." Get it?
339
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,679
To be honest, I don't.
340
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,138
- Just get rid of it now.
- [door slams open]
341
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,224
Great news! Your boy got the helmets.
342
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:24,475
Oh, thank God. Something's going right.
343
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:25,768
Sorry, left out a word.
344
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,436
Your boy don't got the helmets.
345
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,896
But look what I do got.
346
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,483
What in the actual fuck is that?
347
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,111
This is a Clervixian space bison.
348
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,029
And I think it's part of that
secret seedy underbelly
349
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,239
we're all fully obsessed with.
350
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:39,532
There is no underbelly!
351
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,659
This little stinker here has been
352
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,577
genetically modified!
353
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:44,745
Gasp if you must.
354
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:45,955
- Behind!
- Terry!
355
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,124
Someone's putting chemicals in their food
and it's messing with our bodies.
356
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,292
Like, have you felt really horny
and really sterile lately?
357
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,585
I know I have.
358
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,129
They genetically modified
the cows on earth.
359
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,422
That's not a conspiracy.
360
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:55,756
It's just the soulless pillage
361
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,007
of a living creature's dignity.
362
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,801
I'm seeing all the twisted threads here.
363
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,052
The only part I'm missing is, you know,
364
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,387
the bigger thread that connects them.
365
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:02,680
But I'm close to uncovering it.
366
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,390
B-T dubs, Jess, whatever you're making
367
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,975
smells scrumplicious.
368
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,059
Thank you, Chef!
369
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,352
Terry, what you need to uncover is
370
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,062
the fucking dinner helmets!
371
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,147
- The what?
- [Korvo] Ugh.
372
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,898
The thing you're supposed to get.
373
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,233
The dinner helmets.
374
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,152
First time I'm hearing about it,
but I'll look into it.
375
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,654
Dinner hut muts.
376
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,740
- [Korvo grunts]
- [cow bell rings]
377
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,366
[Space Bison] Goo!
378
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,410
They say goo instead of moo!
379
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:25,703
[door slams closed]
380
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,496
[Terry] Oh, this goes
all the way to the top.
381
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,916
- [♪ electronic music playing]
- Oh, what in the Skrillex?
382
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,501
- [♪ loud electronic music]
- [gasps]
383
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,547
Yumyulack, why are you still red?
And what is this?
384
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:39,258
I'm gonna "Reggie Watts"
the Planetary Anthem.
385
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,426
["Reggie Watts" loops]
386
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:41,969
Wow, extra much?
387
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,220
["Extra, much?" loops]
388
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,556
It is extra. What are you doing?
389
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:48,058
Redefining performance art.
The Supreme Adjudicator's gonna love it.
390
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,810
Ahh, no. Out.
391
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:53,063
["Ahh, no. Out" loops]
392
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,524
- [Yumyulack shrieks]
- Where is the Supreme Adjudicator?
393
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,817
[toilet flushes]
394
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,277
Korvo, I commend you on a very
395
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,779
not extra bathroom.
396
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,865
The water level was modest,
toilet paper acceptable.
397
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,533
Well, if you love the bathroom,
398
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,453
you'll, uh, love our pocket dimension.
399
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:09,038
- No need, I'm sure--
- In you go!
400
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,498
Stop it!
401
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,417
[Pupa] Mine! Mine! [grunts]
402
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,212
- [JK Sevens beeps]
- [exasperated groan]
403
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:22,510
[♪ "Hedwig's Theme" plays on recorder]
404
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,677
[Pupa screeches]
405
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,054
Yumyulack, cut it out!
406
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,222
No!
407
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,808
Everyone's gonna lose it for my tubes.
408
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,851
No! This is beyond extra.
409
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:31,936
Oh, cheese.
410
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,354
I accidentally triggered the countdown
411
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,688
on my Pop Rocks Cheez-it Bomb.
412
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:37,274
- It's gonna blow!
- Are you fucking kidding me?!
413
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:43,781
[♪ suspenseful slow-motion music]
414
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,579
We just avoided a total disaster.
415
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,248
[Pop Rocks Cheez-it Bomb explodes]
416
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,209
Ah, my head! If only we had our
dinner helmets.
417
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,086
[portal opens]
418
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,420
What the...
419
00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,964
Seems things took a turn for the extra
420
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,799
while I was gone.
421
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,300
My adjudication thingy!
422
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:06,345
Uh, okay, look, I spent all day pretending
423
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:10,349
that we're boring and fit in,
but the truth is we is extra.
424
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,977
We love this planet,
and we want to stay here,
425
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,271
but if you don't think we fit in
for who we really are,
426
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,440
we'll find another planet
that's not as perfect to call home.
427
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,570
While we Clervixians
don't like our citizens being "extra,"
428
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:25,155
being fake is much, much worse.
429
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,199
Being fake is actually being "extra,"
430
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,868
which you are not.
431
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,202
Does that make sense?
432
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,287
It does not.
433
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,788
Our confusing ways are why
434
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,540
we need so many adjudicators.
435
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,001
Anyway, I now declare you and your family
436
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:39,378
to be permanent residents of Clervix 3.
437
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,921
You may gently celebrate.
438
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,214
- Whoa!
- Cool.
439
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,466
- [door slams open]
- I found the dinner helmets!
440
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,886
We don't need them anymore.
We're official citizens.
441
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,721
Oh, okay. Well, I also found the monster
442
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,389
that's been secretly controlling
this whole planet
443
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:51,515
from a hidden underground lair.
444
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,641
[all gasp]
445
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,477
Unleash me!
446
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,647
Put your hands together
for Zazlaz the Mind Freak!
447
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,400
- [electricity zapping]
- [Zazlaz groaning]
448
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,156
Terry, you dumbass, this is a Mind Freak!
449
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,867
- Right? Wait, you know this guy?
- Not personally.
450
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,702
It's an alien race known
throughout the galaxy
451
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,621
for their nefarious and diabolical nature.
452
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,664
Their representative
on Earth was Criss Angel.
453
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,875
Ha. I told you there was
an evil conspiracy.
454
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,960
Zaz, tell him what you told me
on the bus ride over.
455
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,004
You-you're gonna love it.
He's actually a really good storyteller.
456
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:26,425
The tale of Zazlaz
began four millennia ago.
457
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:29,261
I was a cocooned hatchling then,
458
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,013
tumbling through the Orion--
459
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,097
[Korvo] Let me stop you right there.
460
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,141
Is the short version
that you landed on this planet
461
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,559
and took it over and now you use
462
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:36,894
the tree cameras to spy,
463
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,228
keep the population docile
464
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,772
by putting chemicals in the bison,
465
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,315
and insist everything be not extra
466
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,192
because it makes everyone
easier to control?
467
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,569
Guilty as charged.
468
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,820
[cackles]
469
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,572
You just forgot one thing.
470
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:52,701
By revealing me, you must now die.
471
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:54,995
[Blix/Vorgento/Adjudicator] Hail Zazlaz!
472
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,039
Hail Zazlaz!
473
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,999
[♪ intense music]
474
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:02,419
[grunting]
475
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:14,890
[screeches]
476
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,853
- [Zazlaz cackling]
- [Korvo/Terry gasp]
477
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,856
I've owned this planet
for a hundred years.
478
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:27,194
Come, my freakies, liberate your master!
479
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:28,946
Terry, help me barricade the
window with the furniture!
480
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,823
But we'll have to put it
at a diagonal angle.
481
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:31,907
Won't that be extra?
482
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,742
Oh, now you care about that shit?
483
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:34,827
- Yep.
- Goddammit, Terry,
484
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,495
this is all your fault.
485
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:37,830
If you hadn't fixated
on digging up a conspiracy,
486
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:38,998
we'd all be living in blissful ignorance
487
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,082
on a perfect planet.
488
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,250
- [glass shatters]
- Aah!
489
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,626
It wasn't perfect for me.
490
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,294
Clervix was great for you
and the replicants,
491
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,546
but it sucked ass for me.
492
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,006
The lame aliens here never laughed
493
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,008
at my clever references to TGIF sitcoms,
494
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,010
and they gave me the worst nickname ever:
495
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,177
Swizzle.
496
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,762
Just because I swizzled
my butt a little bit
497
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,264
when I walked around here on my first day,
498
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,640
I get a nickname?
499
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,267
And it was only on account
I hadn't done a good job
500
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,060
wiping my human butt after I took a dump.
501
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,855
And guess what? It gets a little itchy
around the rim.
502
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:05,524
If anything, my nickname
should be "Itchy Butt."
503
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,818
What are you talking about?
I thought you loved that nickname.
504
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,778
I was lying.
505
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,071
I'm just an amazing actor.
506
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,614
Remember I took that YouTube masterclass
507
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,741
taught by Scoot McNairy?
508
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,951
Well, he was good on Narcos: Mexico.
509
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,870
I always scolded you for hating on Earth.
510
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,413
If I did it here, I'd be a hypocrite.
511
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:20,998
Oh, Terry, you beautiful idiot.
512
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,416
I love when you're a hypocrite.
513
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:23,876
- You do?
- Your lack of principles
514
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,711
is part of what keeps the flame burning.
515
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,922
[Korvo and Terry kiss]
516
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,300
Uh, guys, can you wrap up
your emotional beat
517
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:32,676
and help us out over here?
518
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,595
Say the word and I'll pipe this meat sack.
519
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:37,264
If I die, my control is broken.
520
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,142
This entire planet
will descend into chaos.
521
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,895
Descend my ass,
you shaved bear-lookin' bitch.
522
00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:45,272
Okay, then let's make a deal.
523
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:48,942
We're listening.
524
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,110
If you let me go back
525
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,820
to secretly running this planet,
526
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,281
then all of you will live like kings.
527
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:56,158
I promise to never freak your minds.
528
00:17:56,241 --> 00:18:00,871
I may rock your bodies,
but I will steer clear of the minds.
529
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,540
Uh, that was a good offer. Do we stay?
530
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,709
I mean, I do like living on this planet.
531
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:08,587
With my sexy voice,
I'm like the Rosie Perez of Clervix.
532
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,255
♪ I like it too ♪
533
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,882
Oh, my God, Yumyulack,
enough with the singing.
534
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,675
You're not Pink. How about it, Terald?
535
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:14,760
Wanna be a king?
536
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:18,555
Um, well, if that's what
everyone else wants,
537
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:19,932
I'll stay.
538
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,894
We'll accept on one small condition,
539
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,813
no one can call Terry "Swizzle" anymore.
540
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:29,817
Sorry. Diminutive nicknames
are a part of my grand design.
541
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,237
Consider it a small price to pay
to live in paradise.
542
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,321
Plus, look at him.
543
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:36,615
He's all swizzle and no stick.
544
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,910
- It's okay. It's fine. I'm fine.
- No deal!
545
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:43,288
You're throwing away paradise
for a nickname?
546
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,624
No, because if my Tear-bear isn't happy,
547
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,251
then it isn't a paradise.
548
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:51,004
That is the stupidest shit
I have ever heard.
549
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:54,216
My horde, attack!
550
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,676
- [door slams open]
- [Solars gasp]
551
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:58,971
You know what, Zaz?
552
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,264
You forbid anyone to be extra,
553
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,266
but you're the most extra of anyone here.
554
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:05,644
In fact, you're cringe as fuck.
555
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,480
- [Extra Ray zaps]
- No!
556
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,066
I'm turning whatever the opposite
557
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,653
of extra is!
558
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,196
[Yumyulack] Well, would you look at that?
559
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,698
A basic-ass fiddle-leaf fig.
560
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,867
- Brutal!
- Let's haul ass before someone kills us.
561
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,744
My mind, it isn't being freaked anymore.
562
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,621
I can be an asshole now.
563
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,123
[Clervixians clamoring]
564
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,172
Damn. The planet went
to total shit really fast.
565
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,299
Like every episode after
the pilot of Glee fast.
566
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:36,425
That is fast!
567
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,468
Well, now we need to find
a new place to live.
568
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,888
AISHA, survey the sector
for habitable worlds.
569
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,556
One without vampires.
570
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,183
[AISHA] Okay, we got two options:
571
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:47,019
a previously unknown
utopia planet full of sexy,
572
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,229
Na'vi-like creatures.
573
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,814
- Or Earth.
- Can't do Earth.
574
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,691
Too many of my exes live there.
575
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,109
And it's clearly on
the precipice of climate
576
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,611
and societal collapse.
577
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,613
Sounds like we're going
with the utopian option, then.
578
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,781
Everyone, lotion up those neural tendrils.
579
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,116
[AISHA] Sounds good to me.
580
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,326
At least on this planet,
581
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:03,744
there won't be nonstop ads
582
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:06,622
for Jurassic Park 7: Oviraptor's Day Off.
583
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,373
Wait, there's another JP coming out?
584
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,292
[AISHA] Mm-hmm! But don't worry.
585
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:13,295
I know a digital projector
at CAA who said it sucks.
586
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,880
I thought Jurassic Park Dominion finished
587
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:16,173
the original six-movie arc
588
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,424
that Spielberg had always intended.
589
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,009
That means that this one will be starting
590
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:21,720
a whole new adventure
65 million years in the making!
591
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,222
[AISHA] Guys, come on.
592
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,182
No spoilers, but this one
tries to be a comedy,
593
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,391
and it doesn't work.
594
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,268
Please, let's go to the nicer planet.
595
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,979
Then it's settled. The Solar Opposites
are going back to Earth
596
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,482
and renewing their AMC Stubs memberships.
597
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:34,650
[buckle clicks]
598
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,071
[spaceship whooshing]
599
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,948
You know, I'm gonna miss Clervix 3.
600
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,574
All my favorite restaurants were there,
601
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,409
plus I probably could've
gotten used to that nickname.
602
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,620
Shut the fuck up, Terry. I swear to God.
603
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:47,955
- Call me Swizzle.
- No.
604
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,081
- Please?
- No!
605
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,999
- Terry!
- You have zero principles!
606
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,167
Such a hypocrite.
607
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,586
But I just got used to Swizzle right now.
I'm sorry!
608
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:55,754
People can change!
609
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:56,838
You gotta give it time
610
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,048
for a nickname to grow on you.
611
00:20:58,131 --> 00:20:59,549
How else am I gonna immediately explain
612
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,301
that I have a itchy butthole to people
613
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,595
if I don't have Swizzle as my nickname?
614
00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:06,682
[JK Sevens beeping]
615
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:10,394
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
616
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:24,366
♪
617
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,644
[mimicking laser fire]