1
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[♪ dramatic theme playing]
2
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Oh, bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,721
I took the Lord's name in vain.
4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:13,972
I was covetous,
5
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:16,349
and I put some Yoplait peach yogurt
in my butthole
6
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and let a cat lick it.
7
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[Yumyulack] Holy shit. Ew! A cat?
8
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You're gonna make me barf.
9
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,730
Are you supposed to talk like that?
10
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,273
I thought this was a safe space.
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[Yumyulack] Yeah.
For me to kick your ass!
12
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[yelps] What the hell, Father?
13
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You just got bounty-hunted, bitch!
14
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Respect.
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♪
16
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[grunts] I'm home.
17
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Nobody talk to me
until I get something to drink.
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I know I'm gonna regret asking this,
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but why are you dressed like the Pope?
20
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,839
Oh, Terry, you ignorant slut.
21
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I have to lay low when I bounty hunt.
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This is my undercover gear.
23
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Well, I'm glad you had fun.
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All I did today was try
to suck my own mound.
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I present you the new Pupa.
26
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- Ah!
- Oh, my God!
27
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,352
Why does he look like
a baby Pennywise?
28
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Cha Pupa!
29
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,522
Aw! That's his cute new thing he says.
30
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that?
31
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,276
Glen Powell's specialty Kom-BRO-cha.
32
00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:09,986
I did a bunch of bounty hunting today,
33
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and it got me real thirsty for bacteria.
34
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- [bottle shatters]
- What the hell?
35
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No teenager wants to drink that shit.
36
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Wouldn't you rather smoke a fat J
37
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or huff some cumin?
38
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What are you talking about?
39
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The Kom-BRO-cha is marketed
specifically to idiots my age.
40
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Okay. The truth is kombucha
is poisonous to Shlorpians.
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But Jesse and Terry are drinking them!
42
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[gulping]
43
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- Mm. Doesn't matter how we taste.
- Jesse, no!
44
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Taste? What does that mean?
Why does how I taste matter?
45
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It matters because I need to kill you
and feed you to the Pupa.
46
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Korvo, no!
47
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[Korvo]
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
48
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until the asteroid hit.
49
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One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
50
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and escaped into the... space,
51
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searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
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We crashed on Earth,
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{\an8}stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
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{\an8}That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
55
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{\an8}I'm the one holding the Pupa.
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{\an8}My name is Korvo. This is my show.
57
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{\an8}Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
58
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,167
{\an8}Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.
59
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{\an8}It's a horrible home.
60
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{\an8}People are stupid and confusing.
61
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{\an8}Why can't I pump my own gas
in New Jersey?
62
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,049
{\an8}It's the only Earth activity
that calms me down.
63
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{\an8}I wish the entire atmosphere was fumes.
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{\an8}All the good planets let you breathe oil.
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[♪ dramatic music playing]
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No!
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What's happening here?
What the hell was that?
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{\an8}The ray that makes you sit on the couch
to hear some hard news.
69
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{\an8}I thought you were gonna kill me.
70
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{\an8}- I would never do that.
- Okay, good.
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Wait. No, I do do it regularly.
72
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But first I'm going
to explain why I do it.
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Because you respect me.
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{\an8}No, because confusion
can make your skin taste
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{\an8}like the bottom of a flip-flop.
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Every three months,
a very special thing happens.
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I murder you,
blend your body into mush,
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and feed you to the Pupa.
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- No, you don't!
- Oh, yes, I do.
80
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:53,590
See, the Pupa needs to be fed your meat
every 90 days or he dies.
81
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,676
I've lived here just as long as you
and that's literally never happened.
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Yes, it has. You just don't remember
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because we upload your consciousness
to the ship's hard drive
84
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and transfer your memories
to a new brain before I bap you.
85
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,895
But we leave out the murder memory
so you don't get all pissy.
86
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,813
Okay, fine. Then why am I here?
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{\an8}Allow me to show and tell you.
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{\an8}Cha Pupa!
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00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,818
Huh. That really is cute.
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AISHA, where did I put
that instructional geode
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{\an8}that came with the Pupa?
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00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,532
{\an8}[AISHA] Don't ask me.
I'm not Mary friggin' Poppins.
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{\an8}Oh, nice. We actually kept it.
94
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{\an8}The Pupa Owner's Manual, Quartz Edition
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{\an8}[computer whirring, beeping]
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[electronic voice] Caution.
Failing to feed your Pupa
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replicant meat will result in death.
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Proper care of your Pupa
will ensure it evolves
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and terraforms your new world.
100
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You could feed your Pupa choice cuts
of the nutrient replicant
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or just blend and serve whole.
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- [Terry] Oh, that's what we do.
- [Korvo] Shh!
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{\an8}Hello, replicant.
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{\an8}Have you had a fulfilling day
of bounty hunting?
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{\an8}Yes, team leader. I sure have.
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{\an8}[team leader laughs]
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{\an8}- [crystal slurping]
- [replicant groans]
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{\an8}- What an idiot.
- I hate this.
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{\an8}[electronic voice]
The team leader now processes
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{\an8}the replicant's proteins
in the painless method
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{\an8}devised by our Shlorpian doctors.
112
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{\an8}[replicant screaming]
113
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{\an8}That doesn't seem painless.
114
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{\an8}He means for the team leader.
He's not in any pain.
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[noisy munching]
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[Jesse] Aw, look at him go.
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And now I upload the memories,
minus just a few.
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[electronic voice] In a few weeks,
the new body will begin
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to produce nutrients,
and the cycle will begin again.
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Under no circumstances should this video
be shown to your nutrient replicant.
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This is freaking me out!
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{\an8}Don't worry. Being freaked doesn't affect
the flavor of your flesh.
123
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Ugh! Stop talking about my flesh!
124
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So you guys just kill me
and Jesse whenever you want?
125
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No. Not me. Just you.
126
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Why just me?
127
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{\an8}We all have mission jobs.
128
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{\an8}I'm the chronicler,
Terry cares for the Pupa,
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{\an8}Korvo's team leader.
130
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{\an8}And you're the nutrient replicant.
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{\an8}I'm the bounty hunter.
I literally bounty-hunted this morning.
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{\an8}This isn't Star Wars, bro.
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{\an8}That's something
the Shlorpian elders made up
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{\an8}so you wouldn't question your actual role
as a delicious treat.
135
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,841
{\an8}But I've seen the Pupa eat
all sorts of fast food and junk.
136
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,801
{\an8}- Just let him eat that.
- No, it's empty calories.
137
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{\an8}Terry and Jesse promised
they'd stop feeding him that stuff.
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{\an8}We've been good.
139
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{\an8}- Yeah, we just say, "No way, Jose."
- Cha Pupa!
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Being the nutrient replicant is
the highest honor a Shlorpian can have.
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Your job is the most important
out of all of us.
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[Yumyulack] Oh, man.
He is looking pretty hungry.
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Poor little guy.
Okay, screw it. I'm in.
144
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,613
Plus you'll save
my memories anyway, right?
145
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Yep. And after, you won't even remember.
146
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We'll be back to normal.
147
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Do you mind if this one time
I do it myself?
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Sure. How do you wanna do it?
Sword? Flamethrower?
149
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That thing where you rub your mound
while hanging yourself in the closet?
150
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Just a simple ray will do.
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Here you go. Let me just grab the crystal
that sucks your memories out. Ah!
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Anyone comes at me with the crystal,
I'll blow your fucking head off!
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Cha Pupa?
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- Ah!
- Stay back.
155
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
156
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We just print out another you.
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We can take all these memories away too.
You won't be sad at all.
158
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,977
Oh, you're right about that.
I won't be sad.
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Because I'm blasting the Me Machine.
160
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Put that ray gun down
and kill yourself right now, mister!
161
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[both grunting]
162
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- [explosion booms]
- [Yumyulack screams]
163
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No!
164
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He ruined my shirt!
165
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,580
The Pupa's gonna starve
without his Yum meat.
166
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The mission's doomed.
167
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We're all gonna die,
and I never even got to tour
168
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,794
the Burlington Coat Factory factory!
169
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,463
Everyone chill the fuck out.
Uh, let me workshop this.
170
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,382
Pupa, eat this. It's good for you.
171
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- Cha Pupa.
- [stomach growls]
172
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,260
- It's all gross and burnt up.
- He needs to eat it to live.
173
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,763
What if we feed the little guy
something else from the home world?
174
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{\an8}Yes! I purposely hid some
Shlorpian powdered calorie chunks
175
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,101
{\an8}in the emergency rations kit.
176
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,436
'Cause that's what I do.
I think ahead, baby.
177
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,564
Oh, shit. I ate the chunks last year
when we ran out of snacks.
178
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,982
Those were for emergencies!
179
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,692
It was an emergency.
180
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,112
I had to binge all of
Shadow and Bone season two
181
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,446
so I could spoil it on Discord
182
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,573
before my Discord dudes
could spoil it for me.
183
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,951
- Here. Lick the wrappers.
- No. Cha Pupa.
184
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,035
You two stay down here
185
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,662
and try to get the Pupa
to lick that wrapper
186
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,039
while I go work on fixing
the Yumyulack printer.
187
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,584
[AISHA] Are you sure that
makeup glue's strong enough?
188
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,753
This is drag brunch grade
eyelash adhesive
189
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,880
I got from Terry's vanity. It'll work.
190
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,841
[AISHA] You ever think about
what your drag name would be?
191
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,342
Mine's Nefertitties
192
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,302
'cause I would have some big old titties.
193
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,762
Oh, that is good.
194
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,180
Alright, let's see if this thing works.
195
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,891
[machine beeps, whirs]
196
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,979
Ugh, this doesn't look right.
Scan this thing for nutrients.
197
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,273
[AISHA] Scanning.
That thing is all jacked up.
198
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:21,858
The Pupa won't get anything from that.
199
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,443
Damn it. And the printer's shot.
200
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,735
We'll have to try something else.
201
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,237
- [AISHA] Is it expanding?
- Oh!
202
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,489
Oh, shit. The growth particles
are out of control.
203
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,741
AISHA, open the hatch.
We have to get it off the ship.
204
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,453
Oh, crap, crap. Shitty, shitty, crap.
205
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,707
[AISHA]
Are you gonna just leave it there?
206
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,084
I'll call heavy item pickup.
They'll get it on Tuesday.
207
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,336
[AISHA] The city is not going like that.
208
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,589
Oh, come on. Just a wittle-bitty taste.
209
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,674
- Mm, yummy.
- No!
210
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:50,470
Terry, look. I got Yum's
Old Spice Swagger deodorant!
211
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,555
This has to be loaded with Yum germs.
212
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,892
Oh, yeah! Here you go, Pupes.
It's gym bag flavored.
213
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,935
- [Pupa barfs]
- [stomach growls]
214
00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,187
Are you okay, little guy?
215
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,564
- Oh, cha Pupa...
- [stomach growling]
216
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,317
Ah!
217
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,695
He just sharted a side table?
218
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:10,448
Oh, no. This looks like it came
from my apartment on the home world.
219
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,867
Your Pupa just sharted it out
with some orange goo.
220
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:15,536
- Excuse me? My Pupa.
- You heard me.
221
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,829
[goo splatters]
222
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,333
The Pupa is prematurely
squirting out terraforming fluids
223
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,793
because his body's malnourished
without his nutrients.
224
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:23,961
Well, that blows.
225
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,713
Why does it all look like Shlorpian stuff?
226
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,381
Because he has everything
from the home world
227
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,716
coded into his DNA.
228
00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:29,884
Isn't this a good thing?
229
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,136
Don't we want the Pupa to terraform?
230
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,971
This isn't a controlled terraformation.
231
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,306
The Pupa's body is breaking down.
232
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:37,225
This is a destructive
and uncontrollable process
233
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,351
that will ruin this planet.
234
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,936
If the Pupa doesn't get nutrients soon,
235
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,437
his sharting will get worse.
236
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,523
He'll die and so will our chances
237
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,107
of rebuilding the home world.
238
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,734
Pupa already has a taste for flesh,
239
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,819
so let's just find a human
similar to Yumyulack
240
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:49,946
and feed them to him.
241
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,280
Yes, that could work,
242
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,407
but it would have to be
a real pathetic, ugly loser
243
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:54,617
just like Yumyulack.
244
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,328
Uh, are you seeing
this floating Yumyulack head out there?
245
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:59,455
What? Don't worry about that.
Who knows where that came from?
246
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,666
The Solar Opposites have to find
247
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:05,294
a petty bounty hunting-type human
who smells like a foot.
248
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:09,048
- Next.
- [Terry] Hello, neighbor Kevin.
249
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,968
You will be reading
for the part of Yumyulack.
250
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,512
This is so cool.
Always wanted to be an actor.
251
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,806
You know, back in the day,
I made some docking videos
252
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,600
on YouTube before the algorithm
demonetized foreskin.
253
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,686
- Next.
- Hi, I'm Sean Giambrone.
254
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,229
I used to be on ABC's The Goldbergs.
255
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,939
- Next!
- Thank you for inviting me.
256
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,440
I have many special skills.
257
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,068
I am a pre-certified Poker Face who--
258
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,279
- Ow! Shit! Fuck!
- [Jesse] Principal Cooke,
259
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,406
always fun to see you out
in the real world.
260
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,657
Okay, so for the audition,
261
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,325
we're workshopping a scene from Dune.
262
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,618
Put your foot in that box.
263
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,542
Uh, oh, I feel something licking me.
264
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:47,420
When the fear of being licked is gone,
only you will remain.
265
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:50,172
- [crunching]
- Ow! Now it's biting me. I knew it!
266
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,258
These sicko internet perverts
just want pics
267
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:55,469
of your bloody feet,
and they aren't gonna pay for them!
268
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,013
Bye, Principal Cooke.
269
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,015
Uh, cha Pupa.
270
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,017
Goddammit, Pupa.
We're trying to help you, you little shit.
271
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,393
[Pupa retches]
272
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,480
That's my bank from the home world.
273
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,774
It had terrible operating hours. Run!
274
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,651
[all yell]
275
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,653
[Pupa coughs]
276
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,697
Well, my friends and lover,
we're out of moves.
277
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,782
The Yumyulack-making machine
can't be fixed.
278
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:17,867
The Pupa won't eat.
279
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,578
There's a big-ass Yumyulack head
floating over Denver.
280
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,496
- Fuck Denver!
- I fear, for once,
281
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,707
we can't sci-fi our way out of this.
282
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,917
Poor Pupa. I'm so sorry.
283
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,002
[Pupa retches]
284
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,921
[AISHA] Come on, Korvo.
Don't be a little bitch.
285
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,465
- Just tell them.
- AISHA, no.
286
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,592
What? What shouldn't you be
a little bitch about?
287
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:35,968
[AISHA] You gotta tell them.
288
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,930
I can't. It's a moment of weakness
I've held for so long. Ugh.
289
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,142
What I'm about to reveal
may shake you to your very cores.
290
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:45,061
It may destroy the foundation on which
291
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,021
- our relationship has been--
- Just tell us!
292
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:50,232
There is... another Yumyulack.
293
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,734
[Terry and Jesse gasp]
294
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,365
Gasping so hard at that revelation
got me so hungry!
295
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,367
Why are Jersey Mike's sammies so good?
296
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,952
They get their oil and vinegar
straight from the New Jersey Turnpike.
297
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,037
Hey, what did you mean
298
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,247
that one time you said
there's another Yumyulack?
299
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,874
Hmm. Well, one time,
I didn't kill Yumyulack
300
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,501
and feed him to the Pupa.
I let him escape.
301
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,670
I-I-I don't really remember the details.
302
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,464
- It's a bit of a haze.
- [AISHA] We good. I got that shit on tape.
303
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:16,342
No! No, no. We don't have
to watch the tape. That's not important.
304
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,427
[AISHA] I put in a Ring camera
after someone kept stealing
305
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,262
my porcelain frogs, Terry!
306
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,347
Check it out.
307
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,558
- Ah!
- What are you doing?
308
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,602
Please, don't stab me.
309
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,687
No, I-I wasn't.
310
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,313
I was gonna suck out your memories
and then kill you.
311
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,817
No, but please.
Papa, don't do that either.
312
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,026
Papa?
313
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,986
- Ah.
- [crystal slurping]
314
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,655
- Go.
- You're not gonna kill me?
315
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:38,864
I've got a copy of your memories.
316
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,658
Now go before I change my mind.
317
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,159
Damn you, AISHA.
318
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,204
He called me Papa.
No Yumyulack has ever said that.
319
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:48,124
He was so sweet. Not like all
the other dipshit Yumyulacks.
320
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:51,961
Oh, Korvo. I thought I was
the only one with daddy issues.
321
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,922
I've been trying to develop them
as a Cesar Chavez Day present to you.
322
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,257
But I guess it worked too well.
323
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:59,051
Oh, my God. Stop being such a pushover!
324
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:02,847
You're team leader, man.
Pull yourself together!
325
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,224
Your Pupa is getting gray
and blasting goo.
326
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:08,102
We've gotta find that Yumyulack.
When did you let him go?
327
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,187
It was back when I was really
into eating stews,
328
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,149
so I got the idea to send him
to live a peaceful existence in Ireland.
329
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,068
Plus, I knew Terry would never go there
due to his feud with The Edge.
330
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,571
Well, that goateed,
beanie-wearing bitch stole my look!
331
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:19,905
[spurting]
332
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,577
Fresh konixberries for sa...
333
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,120
Where am I?
334
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,997
Cha Pupa.
335
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,331
[vendor and stand explode]
336
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,499
We're running out of time!
337
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,376
AISHA, watch the Pupa
and see if you can get
338
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,128
the Yumyulack-making machine
working again.
339
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,463
[AISHA] I was about to go on break.
340
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,381
You'll get OT. We'll fly to Ireland,
341
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,175
grab that tender-ass Yumyulack,
bring him back,
342
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,843
and feed the Pupa before it's too late.
343
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,303
You know,
I-I-I'm just telling you right now,
344
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,555
if I see The Edge, I'm not gonna walk on.
345
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,807
I'm gonna slap that goatee
right off his face.
346
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,101
It's not gonna be a beautiful day for him.
347
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,771
♪
348
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,067
[♪ Celtic violin music playing]
349
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,487
This place looks hella quaint.
350
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,114
Wait, is that The Edge
playing the fiddle in the corner?
351
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,576
Terry, that's a lady and she's, like, 90.
352
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,953
Hello. Name's Seamus O'Drinky.
353
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,164
This is me family's Irish pub.
354
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,792
We're looking for a sweet
wannabe fuckboy. Ye high.
355
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,084
Might go by the name Yumyulack
356
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,544
or Grand Muff Tarkin,
357
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,837
his Xbox name.
358
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,464
Sorry. Can't help you.
359
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:21,842
I'd remember if a funny-looking fella
like that came in here.
360
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,554
- Thanks for your time.
- I'm watching you, fiddle slut.
361
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,854
McYumyulack, it's Seamus.
362
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:38,025
Seems your Pa's finally come to town.
363
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:41,612
Look, you know only one dirty-ass hoe
364
00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:44,865
{\an8}would need that much
X-Treme Sour Gooseberry Rockstars.
365
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,242
That son of a bitch The Edge.
366
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,160
Oh, my God. It's Yumyulack.
367
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,287
Jesus, Terry. Get over it.
368
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,793
This must be his place. Look at the name.
369
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,962
[Terry] Classy. Hey, there he is!
370
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,841
Oh, this is gonna be easy peasy,
Dan Cortese.
371
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,634
I'm excited to see Yumyulack,
372
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,761
even if it is a low-rent Irish version.
373
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,472
Don't bring emotion into this.
He's just Pupa food.
374
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,100
Ah, stupid wire.
Someone could trip on this.
375
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,894
I'm gonna kick it in three, a-two, and...
376
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,355
- Terry, don't!
- [explosion booms]
377
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,193
[Irish accent] You arseholes
aren't taking me back. Get fucked!
378
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,862
That Yumyulack's not sweet or tender.
379
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,655
And he talks all Irishy now?
380
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,991
He played me, calling me Papa.
381
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,618
We gotta take this bitch down now.
382
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,662
Oh, hell, yeah. Another wire.
383
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:32,997
[Korvo] Terry, would you just leave it?
384
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,248
Fine.
385
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:37,918
Yumyulack?
386
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:41,589
We just came to say hi
and see how things are going.
387
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,967
Bull shite! And I go by McYumyulack now.
388
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,760
That's me Irish name.
389
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,053
I really like that for him.
390
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,431
For years, I've waited
and planned for this day.
391
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:53,392
Booby-trapped the whole house,
so don't come any closer
392
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,477
or I'll blow yas to hell.
393
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,479
I know we hate on the guy
for being such a dick,
394
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,899
but he's really made
a life for himself here.
395
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:03,068
Yeah. Maybe we should peace out
and just let him be Irish in peace. Peace!
396
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,196
No! We need to get him to the house,
chop him up, and feed him to the Pupa
397
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,908
or there won't be a planet
for Ireland to be the crown jewel of.
398
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,576
I heard that!
399
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,161
[explosions boom]
400
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:16,290
Leave our lad alone or we'll burn you up
and bury you in the peat!
401
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,335
Damn it. All our sci-fi weapons
got confiscated at the airport.
402
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,629
Aer Lingus, more like ass dingus.
403
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,380
Don't take Aer Lingus' name in vain.
404
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,007
It's the sexiest airline.
405
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,885
We gotta grab McYum Nuts
and get the "fook" out of here.
406
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,095
Alright, you bog-brained Murphies,
407
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,514
I shit all over your shamrocks.
408
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,017
And Cillian Murphy can lick my balls!
409
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,270
Oh! Ow!
410
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,397
[♪ dramatic music playing]
411
00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:44,818
Ah!
412
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,279
Oh! Ah!
413
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,531
[McYumyulack panting]
414
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:52,993
Ah!
415
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,332
Ooh-wee!
416
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,797
[both grunting]
417
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,510
- You're good.
- Aye. I had a good teacher.
418
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,679
- Oh, was it me?
- No, you fucking idiot!
419
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,765
It was Sensei Sean
at the O'Punchies Karate dojo!
420
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,102
[both grunting]
421
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,438
Finish him, Korvo! Finish him!
422
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,607
Papa? Please don't make me go.
423
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,902
I have no choice. I'm not your papa.
I'm the team leader.
424
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,779
And you have nutrients the Pupa needs.
425
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,072
It's my duty and yours.
426
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:34,660
You taught me a long time ago
to only care about meself.
427
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,704
- So that's what I'm gonna do.
- [ice cracks]
428
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,789
- [splashing]
- Ah, no!
429
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,127
Oh, my God.
They fell in the ice! Where are they?
430
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,088
RIP, Korvo and Yumyulack.
431
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,882
So what should two fun single gals do
432
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,218
in a town full of repressed
drunk European men?
433
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,387
Ah! I got him! I...
434
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,763
Wait, were you guys just gonna leave?
435
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,098
You both went in the ice!
436
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:59,018
In the movies, that means you're dead.
Do your own research.
437
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,811
[Korvo]
You didn't even wait five seconds.
438
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,730
Well, it's cold out here. I'm sorry.
439
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,861
[people screaming]
440
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,745
[liquid splatters]
441
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,372
So, yeah, The Edge was just
sitting there in the Dublin Airport.
442
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,083
He was such a nice guy.
He even gave me one of his beanies.
443
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,544
He said we could be Beanie Boys together
so we don't have to compete.
444
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:28,505
Yep. No more competish,
so my whole thing's resolved.
445
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,716
We should get this over with
before the Pupa gets any worse.
446
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,384
[normal voice]
This isn't over yet.
447
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,761
Hey, what happened to your accent?
448
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:36,305
It goes away if I don't watch
a Colin Farrell movie every day.
449
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,223
McYumyulack, I just want to say I'm sorry.
450
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,641
I didn't want it to be this way.
451
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,809
If I could change the rules,
452
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,770
I never would've murdered you
over and over again
453
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,189
and fed you to the Pupa
like you were applesauce.
454
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,774
Yeah, right. You're a narc!
455
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,276
I'll pull your memories out
in case we ever repair the printer.
456
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:52,488
How about you just admit
you're an asshole and let me go?
457
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,782
Sorry. Timing just isn't right.
458
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:55,866
Ah.
459
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,326
- Stop!
- Ah! What?
460
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,286
- Timing wasn't right.
- Get outta the way!
461
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:00,871
When you let this McYum go,
462
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,664
did you print out another one right away?
463
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,084
- Yes, of course.
- And did you feed him to the Pupa?
464
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,586
No. The nutrients don't come in
for a couple of weeks.
465
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:08,670
But when you were waiting,
466
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:12,007
the Pupa didn't shart
any terraforming goo.
467
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,218
[gasps] Wait. You're right. He didn't.
468
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,178
A-ha! So what does that mean?
469
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,306
It means he must have gotten his nutrients
from something else.
470
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:22,434
Maybe the Pupa got fed
something to stay alive.
471
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,104
That's impossible. We haven't been feeding
the Pupa any Earth food.
472
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,897
You guys told me you were being good.
473
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,440
Oopsies.
474
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,150
You two fed him something, didn't you?
What was it?
475
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,819
We totally ignored your rule.
476
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,237
We fed him all sorts of stuff.
477
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,738
We knew he was gonna get
all of his vitamins
478
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,240
and minerals
from Yumyulack anyway,
479
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,700
so it shouldn't even really matter
if we gave him a little extra.
480
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,869
I explicitly said no human food.
481
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,996
It was last year right before
we went to that other planet.
482
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,332
- What did you feed him?
- It could have been McDonald's?
483
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,792
Great. Let's go get some McDonald's.
484
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,460
- Or Burger King?
- Okay.
485
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,547
I don't like how much you ignored my rule,
but let's get that too.
486
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,715
And Wendy's, Taco Bell,
Pizza Hut, Domino's...
487
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,260
Wingstop, Papa John's,
KFC, Panda Express...
488
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,637
But never any Long John Silvers!
489
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,056
Yeah. We drew the line
at Long John Silvers.
490
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,349
We're not monsters.
491
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:03,892
We don't have time
to narrow all that down.
492
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,310
The Pupa is dying.
493
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,271
We need to feed him this Yumyulack
and then we'll figure it out.
494
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:08,772
Well, I vote we narrow it down.
495
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,357
Sorry, this is the only way.
496
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,442
- [crystal slurping]
- [Yumyulack groaning]
497
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,944
[Pupa] Cha Pupa.
498
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,404
Wait. Did you hear that?
499
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,613
Stop fucking stalling.
500
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,073
I'm not! The Pupa speaks!
501
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,284
Cha Pupa.
502
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,744
So? He's been saying "cha Pupa" a bunch.
503
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,204
It's super cute, but that won't help.
504
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,915
What if he's trying to say "chalupa"?
505
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,126
[Terry/Korvo/Jesse]
Oh!
506
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,005
[Terry] Can you believe it?
507
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,214
The little guy was just trying to tell us
508
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,674
what he needed the whole time.
509
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,050
Classic Solar.
510
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,927
Mm, yummy cha Pupa!
511
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,846
Now that we can feed the Pupa chalupas,
512
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:42,431
can we stop killing me every 90 days?
513
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:45,601
Well, I hate changing my routine,
but in this case, I'll make an exception.
514
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:49,271
Who knew chalupas would provide
the same vitamins as alien meat?
515
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,899
Pupa is so full of nutrients.
He's evolving!
516
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:55,068
Cha Pupa!
517
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,237
Whoa! Will you look at that?
518
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,782
He even turned a new color
just in time for the end of the season.
519
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,201
And by that, I mean autumn.
520
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,995
I'm just happy we ended the day
without any huge change.
521
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:07,748
Unlike last year, when we had
to leave the planet
522
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:08,916
and all that nonsense.
523
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,500
That's right. We saved the Pupa,
524
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,211
Yumyulack doesn't have to get harvested,
525
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:13,879
and nothing bad came from it.
526
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,173
A big win for the Solar Opposites!
527
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,008
Terry, ring the bell!
528
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,845
- [bell ringing]
- [all cheering]
529
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:26,141
I can live! Chalupa, chalupa, chalupa!
530
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,810
[♪ ominous music playing]
531
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:38,445
Yes, I am one step closer
to regaining control of the mission.
532
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:42,074
Soon enough. Soon enough.
533
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:44,910
[maniacal laughter]
534
00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:50,582
Goddammit. How the fuck
am I gonna get down there?
535
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:53,669
[♪ dramatic theme playing]
536
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,545
[mimicking laser fire]