1
00:00:06,993 --> 00:00:10,416
‐ I really loved the pieces you
submitted in your application.

2
00:00:10,416 --> 00:00:12,672
That troll piece was
fascinating.

3
00:00:12,672 --> 00:00:14,717
So insightful.
‐ Thank you.

4
00:00:14,717 --> 00:00:17,640
Yeah, I've really tried to
push myself this past month,

5
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,563
and, you know, this is the kind
of in‐depth stuff

6
00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,440
I could've never done
at "The Thorn."

7
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,321
‐ It is really impressive to me
that someone so young

8
00:00:25,321 --> 00:00:27,576
has such
a clearly defined voice.

9
00:00:27,576 --> 00:00:31,500
‐ Whew, I'm impressed
by everything about you.

10
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:34,591
[chuckles] I‐I mean,
I would love to work for you.

11
00:00:34,591 --> 00:00:36,260
And I'm kind of a workaholic.

12
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:38,682
Like, if I'm not busy, I'm sad.

13
00:00:38,682 --> 00:00:40,268
[laughter]

14
00:00:40,268 --> 00:00:42,648
‐ Well, you are
a great essayist.

15
00:00:42,648 --> 00:00:44,359
But unfortunately, Annie,

16
00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:45,904
I do not think
"The Bridgetown Tribune"

17
00:00:45,904 --> 00:00:48,159
would be a good fit for you.
‐ Oh.

18
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,081
‐ I mean, a daily newspaper
is a totally different animal,

19
00:00:51,081 --> 00:00:53,545
and we're looking
for a beat reporter

20
00:00:53,545 --> 00:00:55,465
with a lot of experience.

21
00:00:55,465 --> 00:00:58,054
But I would love to offer you
an internship.

22
00:00:58,054 --> 00:01:00,976
Though I should mention
it's unpaid.

23
00:01:00,976 --> 00:01:02,563
‐ Oh, fuck.
‐ Mm.

24
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:06,696
‐ Um, it's just that‐‐
that sounds so nice.

25
00:01:06,696 --> 00:01:09,702
I just‐‐I also need money.

26
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:13,209
‐ Well, typically, our interns
get another job to earn money.

27
00:01:13,209 --> 00:01:16,758
‐ Okay, but this was me
getting a job for money.

28
00:01:16,758 --> 00:01:21,517
Um, you know, I've been
submitting everywhere,

29
00:01:21,517 --> 00:01:23,522
and I assumed that something
would lead to something,

30
00:01:23,522 --> 00:01:25,483
but it's really led to nothing,

31
00:01:25,483 --> 00:01:29,074
and it's been a‐‐
it's been a bad month.

32
00:01:29,074 --> 00:01:33,290
So could you please
just let me work here?

33
00:01:33,290 --> 00:01:35,294
For money?

34
00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:39,679
‐ I'm gonna say good‐bye, okay?

35
00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:42,560
‐ Yeah. Um‐‐

36
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,689
‐ And thank you for coming in.

37
00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:47,318
‐ Thank you.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

38
00:01:47,318 --> 00:01:49,949
‐ That was‐‐that was bad.

39
00:01:49,949 --> 00:01:51,118
[sighs]

40
00:01:51,118 --> 00:01:54,124
[upbeat music]

41
00:01:54,124 --> 00:01:57,464
♪ ♪

42
00:01:57,464 --> 00:01:58,884
‐ [sighs]

43
00:01:58,884 --> 00:02:01,180
‐ Make sure you
face the labels out.

44
00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:02,892
‐ You don't work here anymore.

45
00:02:02,892 --> 00:02:05,271
‐ Doesn't mean I can't, like,
hang out and help.

46
00:02:05,271 --> 00:02:07,526
‐ Well, it kind of does,
actually.

47
00:02:07,526 --> 00:02:09,739
And Dave doesn't want you
touching the shelves, so...

48
00:02:09,739 --> 00:02:12,118
‐ I worked here
for five years, okay?

49
00:02:12,118 --> 00:02:14,624
My blood
is all over these shelves.

50
00:02:14,624 --> 00:02:16,001
‐ All right, cool.

51
00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:17,546
‐ I think I can touch
whatever I want.

52
00:02:17,546 --> 00:02:19,049
Fuckin' Dave.

53
00:02:19,049 --> 00:02:20,343
‐ You have to find
somewhere else to be.

54
00:02:20,343 --> 00:02:21,554
How about that?

55
00:02:21,554 --> 00:02:23,140
Because you can't be here
anymore.

56
00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:25,562
‐ Ryan, you don't work here
anymore.

57
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,482
‐ Oh.

58
00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:30,112
‐ Which makes me the customer,
which means I'm always right.

59
00:02:30,112 --> 00:02:32,158
‐ You have to leave.

60
00:02:32,158 --> 00:02:33,995
‐ Mike was stacking
the cans wrong.

61
00:02:33,995 --> 00:02:36,041
‐ I don't give a shit.
This is my business!

62
00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:38,880
Now get out of here
before I call the cops...

63
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,218
or your mom.

64
00:02:41,218 --> 00:02:42,805
MIKE: See?

65
00:02:42,805 --> 00:02:45,476
[Muzak playing]

66
00:02:45,476 --> 00:02:47,146
♪ ♪

67
00:02:47,146 --> 00:02:48,859
DAVE: Make sure the labels
are facing out.

68
00:02:48,859 --> 00:02:51,280
‐ I know. Yeah, they're‐‐
I will‐‐they will.

69
00:02:54,369 --> 00:02:55,622
‐ Mom?

70
00:02:57,585 --> 00:02:59,087
Dad?

71
00:03:03,597 --> 00:03:05,016
Hello?

72
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:10,611
[THICK's "So Sick"]

73
00:03:10,611 --> 00:03:12,781
SINGER: ♪ Ask your dad,
ask your dad ♪

74
00:03:12,781 --> 00:03:16,079
♪ To pay my rent ♪

75
00:03:16,079 --> 00:03:18,627
♪ Maybe we should hang out ♪

76
00:03:18,627 --> 00:03:22,258
♪ We should all be friends ♪

77
00:03:22,258 --> 00:03:24,179
‐ Holy shit.

78
00:03:24,179 --> 00:03:31,151
♪ ♪

79
00:03:36,036 --> 00:03:37,497
‐ Okay, listen to this.

80
00:03:37,497 --> 00:03:39,627
Maureen tells everybody
that her uncle

81
00:03:39,627 --> 00:03:41,088
came up with the ideas
for Hooters

82
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,217
and that his name
is Fred Hooters.

83
00:03:43,217 --> 00:03:45,847
‐ See, this is the kind of
scorching‐hot gossip

84
00:03:45,847 --> 00:03:49,104
that I can't believe I only get
it, like, every few weeks now.

85
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,982
‐ Yeah, but you're doing good,
though, right?

86
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:54,030
‐ Um, it's definitely
different

87
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:55,659
than I thought it would be.

88
00:03:55,659 --> 00:03:57,286
But I'm‐‐I'm good.

89
00:03:57,286 --> 00:03:59,040
I'm really good. I, uh...

90
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,546
I just had an interview
at "The Bridgetown Tribune."

91
00:04:01,546 --> 00:04:03,675
‐ Oh.
‐ And it was great.

92
00:04:03,675 --> 00:04:06,430
It was great,
and I think it's gonna happen.

93
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,725
‐ That's great.

94
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,436
‐ Yeah,
but who cares about that?

95
00:04:09,436 --> 00:04:11,398
I want to hear
about the big promotion.

96
00:04:11,398 --> 00:04:13,152
‐ Ah, well,
it's mostly just taking care

97
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,655
of people's dumb shit.

98
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,868
Like, Andy came to my desk
four times today.

99
00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:18,997
He wanted to go home
'cause his tooth fell out.

100
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,082
‐ What?
‐ Yeah.

101
00:04:20,082 --> 00:04:21,961
I let him go.
‐ Ugh.

102
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,299
I miss everybody, like, a lot
more than I thought I would.

103
00:04:24,299 --> 00:04:26,596
‐ We miss you, too.
Oh, you know what?

104
00:04:26,596 --> 00:04:29,267
You should come
to Ruthie's birthday party.

105
00:04:29,267 --> 00:04:31,313
It's gonna be at
the Oaks Park skating rink.

106
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,610
‐ Oh.
‐ Studio 54 theme.

107
00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:34,695
‐ Wow.

108
00:04:34,695 --> 00:04:36,406
"1970s dress code.

109
00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:39,120
Must have"...
BOTH: "Full bush."

110
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,624
‐ Full bush.
‐ Wow. Wow.

111
00:04:40,624 --> 00:04:43,045
This is actually very much
my kind of party.

112
00:04:43,045 --> 00:04:44,715
‐ Yeah?

113
00:04:44,715 --> 00:04:46,552
You should come rub your
success in everyone's face.

114
00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:48,180
‐ [laughing] Oh.
Yeah, definitely.

115
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:51,436
Oh, um, actually,
I'm gonna cover this,

116
00:04:51,436 --> 00:04:53,190
because we're
actually celebrating

117
00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:55,277
a very important promotion.

118
00:04:55,277 --> 00:04:57,783
So I have $3 here,

119
00:04:57,783 --> 00:05:00,789
and then I have this gift card,
and it does‐‐

120
00:05:00,789 --> 00:05:03,210
it says RadioShack, but it's
actually very good anywhere.

121
00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:04,672
You can use it.
‐ Oh, you know what?

122
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,424
Actually, why don't you let me
get this?

123
00:05:06,424 --> 00:05:10,266
I can expense this
'cause I am the boss now.

124
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,686
‐ Wow.

125
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:14,650
That's extremely fancy
and really nice.

126
00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,111
‐ Yeah, you're welcome.

127
00:05:16,111 --> 00:05:19,242
‐ I'll, uh...
I can leave...

128
00:05:19,242 --> 00:05:21,329
the tip.

129
00:05:21,329 --> 00:05:22,541
‐ It's a origami duck.

130
00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:23,877
‐ [laughs]
‐ Nice.

131
00:05:23,877 --> 00:05:25,254
[women laughing]

132
00:05:25,254 --> 00:05:27,300
‐ Wait, you want us to believe

133
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,345
that the woman who called me
a prude bitch

134
00:05:29,345 --> 00:05:31,767
for never being in an orgy
hasn't had sex in a month?

135
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:34,230
‐ Not a soul,
not even a soulless being.

136
00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:35,609
I haven't even fucked a ghost.

137
00:05:35,609 --> 00:05:37,236
‐ Okay, and we're using "ghost"

138
00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:39,742
as, like, a code word
for masturbation, right?

139
00:05:39,742 --> 00:05:42,496
I'm just trying to understand
how dire the situation is.

140
00:05:42,496 --> 00:05:44,500
‐ Well, I haven't hooked up
with anyone in a month,

141
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,797
and I'm masturbating
tastefully and sparingly.

142
00:05:46,797 --> 00:05:48,217
‐ Oof.
‐ Oh.

143
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,095
‐ Okay, you're braiding
too tight.

144
00:05:50,095 --> 00:05:52,225
Please don't take your sexual
repression out on my scalp.

145
00:05:52,225 --> 00:05:53,937
‐ Okay, there's no repression.

146
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,982
I've just been hooking up
with people since I was 15.

147
00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:57,986
It feels good to finally get
off the roller coaster.

148
00:05:57,986 --> 00:05:59,489
‐ I got off
on a roller coaster once.

149
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:00,491
[door opens]
‐ Tacky.

150
00:06:00,491 --> 00:06:02,119
‐ I'm sorry.
I need help.

151
00:06:02,119 --> 00:06:03,706
I'm so nervous
about this party,

152
00:06:03,706 --> 00:06:06,294
and I've been jamming
on teen YouTube tutorials

153
00:06:06,294 --> 00:06:08,591
for about two hours now,

154
00:06:08,591 --> 00:06:11,096
and I'm concerned
that I'm starting to look

155
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:12,683
like the queen of the raccoons.

156
00:06:12,683 --> 00:06:14,102
‐ Okay, just let me
do your hair

157
00:06:14,102 --> 00:06:15,772
and don't try to do it
yourself.

158
00:06:15,772 --> 00:06:18,277
‐ Oh, good. I'm gonna get me
some more damn wine.

159
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:19,905
‐ Oh, me too, please.

160
00:06:19,905 --> 00:06:22,118
‐ I love when I get to be your
little gorgeous baby doll.

161
00:06:22,118 --> 00:06:23,663
‐ Oh, and don't call
yourself that.

162
00:06:23,663 --> 00:06:25,583
‐ Why?
[laughter]

163
00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:27,879
‐ Annie, what do you think of
Fran's record‐long dry spell?

164
00:06:27,879 --> 00:06:30,384
‐ No, wrong. It's only
a dry spell if you're thirsty.

165
00:06:30,384 --> 00:06:33,808
‐ I feel like it was very hard
with the Vic shit, you know?

166
00:06:33,808 --> 00:06:35,812
Like, if she wants to take
a break, she should do that.

167
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,609
‐ Okay, yes, but I'm moving on
to the next stage of my life,

168
00:06:38,609 --> 00:06:40,487
which means no more
emotionally destroying

169
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,116
all of the women
in the Pacific Northwest.

170
00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:43,536
[laughter]

171
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:44,913
And, Annie, how do you feel

172
00:06:44,913 --> 00:06:46,458
about adding
about 4 pounds more hair?

173
00:06:46,458 --> 00:06:48,086
‐ Oh, yes,
I very much want to look

174
00:06:48,086 --> 00:06:49,339
like a horse in heat.

175
00:06:49,339 --> 00:06:51,342
‐ A gorgeous horse in heat.
‐ Ooh.

176
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,771
[disco music playing]
‐ Oh, wow!

177
00:06:56,771 --> 00:06:59,025
RYAN: You didn't tell me
this was gonna be '70s themed.

178
00:06:59,025 --> 00:07:01,237
‐ Yeah, I mean, why are you
dressed like that?

179
00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:02,657
‐ 'Cause this is
the way I dress.

180
00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:04,745
‐ Hey!
What the fucking shit is this?

181
00:07:04,745 --> 00:07:07,041
‐ Oh, God.
Ruthie, I'm sorry.

182
00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:10,506
Amadi told me about your party,
so I thought it was okay.

183
00:07:10,506 --> 00:07:12,552
‐ I'm just‐‐
I'm just fucking with you.

184
00:07:12,552 --> 00:07:14,347
Scaring people makes me horny.

185
00:07:14,347 --> 00:07:15,642
[gasps] Wow, it's my birthday.

186
00:07:15,642 --> 00:07:17,729
Did you bring me a gift?

187
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,527
‐ Oh, no, the invitation said
"no gifts."

188
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,154
‐ Give me your earrings.
‐ Oh.

189
00:07:22,154 --> 00:07:24,660
Well, these are actually
my mom's from college.

190
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,204
‐ [laughs]
"Mom's from college."

191
00:07:26,204 --> 00:07:29,335
A woman belongs in the home,
especially a mom.

192
00:07:29,335 --> 00:07:30,588
‐ Wow.

193
00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:32,968
‐ Are you okay?
‐ Yeah.

194
00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:35,347
Yeah, actually, that could have
been so much worse.

195
00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:37,059
But I think tonight
I'll be okay.

196
00:07:37,059 --> 00:07:39,731
[people shouting indistinctly]
‐ What's wrong with you?

197
00:07:39,731 --> 00:07:41,067
‐ Hey, chill. Chill.

198
00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:42,444
‐ A claw machine.

199
00:07:42,444 --> 00:07:43,656
Cool!

200
00:07:43,656 --> 00:07:45,827
‐ Yeah, those are
the distro guys.

201
00:07:45,827 --> 00:07:47,789
They actually deliver
the papers.

202
00:07:47,789 --> 00:07:49,668
They're really nice.

203
00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:52,298
You should go claw with them
if you want.

204
00:07:52,298 --> 00:07:55,638
‐ Oh, no.
I'm‐‐I'm here for you tonight.

205
00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:56,932
‐ Aw.

206
00:07:56,932 --> 00:07:58,686
I‐I actually feel good.

207
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,397
Honestly, like, I feel fine.

208
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:03,613
And I see my buds. I'm good.

209
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,407
Yeah, go. Go claw it up.

210
00:08:05,407 --> 00:08:07,453
‐ Okay.
All right.

211
00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:09,498
[people shouting indistinctly]

212
00:08:09,498 --> 00:08:11,502
‐ Whoa‐ho!
[Ryan laughs]

213
00:08:11,502 --> 00:08:13,131
PLAYER: Come on! RYAN: Damn.

214
00:08:13,131 --> 00:08:14,635
[groovy music]

215
00:08:14,635 --> 00:08:17,933
SINGER:
♪ I wanna tell you today ♪

216
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:21,523
♪ I wanna tell you today ♪

217
00:08:21,523 --> 00:08:22,817
‐ Hey, Annie.

218
00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:23,945
‐ There she is.
ANNIE: Oh, hi!

219
00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,197
‐ Annie!

220
00:08:25,197 --> 00:08:26,617
Okay, I have to ask you
a favor.

221
00:08:26,617 --> 00:08:28,119
Can you please
guard the ladies' room

222
00:08:28,119 --> 00:08:30,207
so I can have sex
with my husband, the boss,

223
00:08:30,207 --> 00:08:31,961
in one of the stalls?

224
00:08:31,961 --> 00:08:34,257
‐ Uh, sorry, what is happening?

225
00:08:34,257 --> 00:08:37,012
‐ Cindy's very into me
since the promotion, sex‐wise.

226
00:08:37,012 --> 00:08:39,016
I tried to tell her I don't
even have a wall in my office.

227
00:08:39,016 --> 00:08:40,352
It's just, like,
a stack of books.

228
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:41,939
‐ Okay, whatever.

229
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:44,569
You're making more money,
and now I can get an SUV.

230
00:08:44,569 --> 00:08:49,328
Ooh, Annie, speaking of new
big things, "The Tribune"?

231
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:51,542
‐ Oh, yeah.
Yeah, "The Tribune."

232
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:53,003
It's‐‐it's gonna be great.

233
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,881
‐ Well, Amadi was worried

234
00:08:54,881 --> 00:08:56,969
that it was gonna be rough
for you after you left,

235
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:59,558
and I just said,
"Shut up, loser.

236
00:08:59,558 --> 00:09:03,273
This is Annie, and she
is gonna make it happen."

237
00:09:03,273 --> 00:09:05,528
‐ Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna make it happen.

238
00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:07,532
And I'm feeling good.

239
00:09:07,532 --> 00:09:09,285
And I'm gonna have
a fucking great night.

240
00:09:09,285 --> 00:09:11,164
[laughs]
‐ Yes!

241
00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:15,380
And you and Amadi are gonna
fucking run this stupid city.

242
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:16,507
‐ [laughs]
‐ Okay.

243
00:09:16,507 --> 00:09:17,719
ANNIE: Wow, whoo!

244
00:09:17,719 --> 00:09:18,888
[laughing]

245
00:09:18,888 --> 00:09:20,600
SINGER: ♪ Love ♪

246
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,564
♪ Love will keep us together ♪

247
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,067
‐ Oh.

248
00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:26,779
MATTEO: You're like
the male Cruella de Vil.

249
00:09:26,779 --> 00:09:28,323
‐ Okay.

250
00:09:28,323 --> 00:09:31,997
‐ But don't be mad,
because your outfit...

251
00:09:31,997 --> 00:09:33,542
incroyable!

252
00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:35,087
‐ Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.

253
00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:37,049
These are actually
my own clothes.

254
00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:38,886
‐ Did you wear it to party
at Club 54?

255
00:09:38,886 --> 00:09:41,224
‐ It's called Studio 54.

256
00:09:41,224 --> 00:09:43,311
What did you think,
I was ten years old

257
00:09:43,311 --> 00:09:46,109
going from Little League
to doing lines with Halston?

258
00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:47,946
‐ Who's that?
GABE: [laughs]

259
00:09:47,946 --> 00:09:49,323
Plus, your clothes
are all wrong.

260
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,910
They're all
from the fuckin' '90s.

261
00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:52,997
Rollerblades didn't exist
in the '70s.

262
00:09:52,997 --> 00:09:55,586
‐ Well, neither did we,

263
00:09:55,586 --> 00:09:57,549
but, um, I don't know,
we just thought

264
00:09:57,549 --> 00:09:59,218
it was, like, old and vintage.

265
00:09:59,218 --> 00:10:00,596
‐ Like you.

266
00:10:00,596 --> 00:10:02,600
‐ Um, what the fuck
is this music?

267
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,228
Is this, like,
a joke song or something?

268
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:07,192
‐ It's Captain & Tennille,
you pieces of shit.

269
00:10:07,192 --> 00:10:10,407
‐ [laughs]

270
00:10:10,407 --> 00:10:12,411
[both laugh]

271
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:15,459
‐ I‐I got you a White Russian.

272
00:10:15,459 --> 00:10:17,504
‐ Oh, Maureen, thank you.

273
00:10:17,504 --> 00:10:19,258
[chuckles] Wow.

274
00:10:19,258 --> 00:10:23,057
‐ Well, I actually kissed
a white Russian man in 2007.

275
00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:24,853
I‐I mean I assume
he was Russian

276
00:10:24,853 --> 00:10:26,230
'cause he didn't say a word.

277
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:27,609
‐ Wow.
‐ It's‐‐yeah.

278
00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:29,905
‐ That's cool.
You know, I might‐‐

279
00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:32,117
‐ So, you know, it's so fun,

280
00:10:32,117 --> 00:10:35,541
just two gal pals in the city
talking sex.

281
00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:37,211
‐ Mm!

282
00:10:37,211 --> 00:10:38,756
‐ Yeah.
‐ But, you know...

283
00:10:38,756 --> 00:10:41,469
Uh, you're my hero for quitting
like you did.

284
00:10:41,469 --> 00:10:43,348
No one stands up
to Gabe like that,

285
00:10:43,348 --> 00:10:45,060
and it meant a lot
to a bunch of us.

286
00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:47,774
‐ Oh, um, well, thank you.

287
00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:49,026
Thanks for saying that.

288
00:10:49,026 --> 00:10:51,030
That‐‐that means a lot.

289
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:52,742
‐ So what's been going on?

290
00:10:52,742 --> 00:10:55,080
‐ Uh...

291
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,669
I got a job at "The Tribune."

292
00:10:57,669 --> 00:11:00,633
Uh, I'm gonna cover
local politics...

293
00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:02,762
I think, so...

294
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,808
‐ I knew you'd do
something amazing.

295
00:11:04,808 --> 00:11:06,603
‐ Yeah.

296
00:11:06,603 --> 00:11:08,732
‐ Hey, hey, did I ever tell you
about the time my brother

297
00:11:08,732 --> 00:11:10,653
tried to wear a top hat
to high school?

298
00:11:10,653 --> 00:11:12,907
It's long but worth it.

299
00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:15,872
‐ Oh, I‐I want to hear that,
but I just‐‐

300
00:11:15,872 --> 00:11:18,251
I finished my drink,
so I might get a freshie.

301
00:11:18,251 --> 00:11:20,005
You know?
‐ Okay, cool.

302
00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:23,177
You know, it was actually not
my brother‐‐it was me.

303
00:11:23,177 --> 00:11:26,517
My brother wore a cowboy hat.
He looked hot.

304
00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:27,896
♪ ♪

305
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,774
REGGIE:
Come on, I believe in you.

306
00:11:29,774 --> 00:11:31,612
I'll knock you and throw
you down the fucking stairs

307
00:11:31,612 --> 00:11:33,908
like my fuckin' dad did‐‐
let's go!

308
00:11:33,908 --> 00:11:35,995
BEAU: You got this. You're
a modern‐day Jesus Christ.

309
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,540
Now just bring us home.

310
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:39,001
‐ Oh, there's a Casio watch
right there!

311
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:41,047
‐ Where? What?

312
00:11:41,047 --> 00:11:42,759
‐ Right by
the stuffed cell phone
and the big‐eyed baby cat.

313
00:11:42,759 --> 00:11:44,846
There's a fucking Casio watch!
‐ It's too stacked.

314
00:11:44,846 --> 00:11:46,349
I don't think
I can get in there.

315
00:11:46,349 --> 00:11:47,644
‐ Stop thinking that way!

316
00:11:47,644 --> 00:11:48,854
Stop with the stinking thinking

317
00:11:48,854 --> 00:11:50,273
and start
with the money thinking.

318
00:11:50,273 --> 00:11:51,275
PLAYER: Come on!
‐ All right?

319
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,154
Now go! Go!

320
00:11:53,154 --> 00:11:54,532
We love you!
PLAYER: We love you!

321
00:11:54,532 --> 00:11:55,618
PLAYER 2: You're awesome!

322
00:11:55,618 --> 00:11:57,789
[all groan] It's okay.

323
00:11:57,789 --> 00:11:59,416
It's okay. It's okay.

324
00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:00,878
‐ I suck!
‐ Hey!

325
00:12:00,878 --> 00:12:04,134
You are not a loser!
‐ Do not!

326
00:12:04,134 --> 00:12:06,347
‐ But you are acting like one!
‐ Yes!

327
00:12:06,347 --> 00:12:08,560
Get your ass
back in the game, dude.

328
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,982
SINGER: ♪ Hold on ♪

329
00:12:10,982 --> 00:12:13,152
♪ Babe, you got to hold on ♪

330
00:12:13,152 --> 00:12:16,576
‐ So Andy's going
by DJ Pussyhound now?

331
00:12:16,576 --> 00:12:18,454
That guy's
a nasty little freak.

332
00:12:18,454 --> 00:12:21,043
RUTHIE: Everybody, listen up.
This is an emergency.

333
00:12:21,043 --> 00:12:23,172
[music stops]

334
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:27,264
There is an active shooter
in the skating rink right now.

335
00:12:27,264 --> 00:12:31,397
[chuckles]
That active shooter is me...

336
00:12:31,397 --> 00:12:34,696
because I'm about to blow
your fucking minds off.

337
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:37,159
[cheers and applause]

338
00:12:37,159 --> 00:12:40,541
Thank you all so much
for being here.

339
00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:43,421
I know that I may be turning 24

340
00:12:43,421 --> 00:12:45,885
and I may look 16,

341
00:12:45,885 --> 00:12:47,805
but my wish

342
00:12:47,805 --> 00:12:51,187
is to be as wise and amazing

343
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,692
as the oldest person I know,

344
00:12:53,692 --> 00:12:56,197
my gay grandpa, Gabe.

345
00:12:56,197 --> 00:12:57,742
‐ [laughs]
Fuck you, honey.

346
00:12:57,742 --> 00:12:59,453
RUTHIE: Kill yourself.

347
00:12:59,453 --> 00:13:02,250
DJ, play my backing track?

348
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,004
[electronic music playing]

349
00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:06,425
♪ The day I was born,
my mother felt a pain ♪

350
00:13:06,425 --> 00:13:08,847
♪ Like the Devil
was trying to run a train ♪

351
00:13:08,847 --> 00:13:10,726
♪ On her genitalianus ♪

352
00:13:10,726 --> 00:13:12,270
‐ Oh.

353
00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:14,024
‐ ♪ I tore my mom
from end to end to end ♪

354
00:13:14,024 --> 00:13:16,195
♪ I tore my mom
from receive to send ♪

355
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:18,324
♪ I tore my mom
from end to end to end ♪

356
00:13:18,324 --> 00:13:19,409
[cake splats] MAUREEN: Shit.

357
00:13:19,409 --> 00:13:21,623
[crowd gasps]

358
00:13:21,623 --> 00:13:26,257
[voice breaking]
My perfect moment is ruined.

359
00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:27,927
[mic thuds, whines]

360
00:13:27,927 --> 00:13:30,098
MAUREEN: I'm‐‐I'm sorry.

361
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:35,734
[Lipps Inc.'s "Funkytown"
playing]

362
00:13:35,734 --> 00:13:38,322
‐ So what‐‐what are you up to?

363
00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:41,245
‐ Uh...
I'm great, Angus.

364
00:13:41,245 --> 00:13:43,959
‐ Cool, but, like, what‐‐
what are you doing now?

365
00:13:43,959 --> 00:13:45,671
‐ Fuck, man, I'm fucking good.

366
00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:49,428
Tell everybody
I'm fucking great, man.

367
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:51,892
Fuck!

368
00:13:51,892 --> 00:13:54,396
Fuck.

369
00:13:54,396 --> 00:13:56,108
RUTHIE: Hey, really enjoy that.

370
00:13:56,108 --> 00:13:58,822
That's the last bag my dealer
sold me before she died.

371
00:13:58,822 --> 00:14:00,325
‐ Oh.

372
00:14:00,325 --> 00:14:02,747
‐ [hisses] Fuck.
RUTHIE: Oh.

373
00:14:02,747 --> 00:14:04,876
‐ Fuck this whole night.
‐ Oh, hey, Gabe.

374
00:14:04,876 --> 00:14:06,378
Do you want us
to clear out of here

375
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,341
so you can take
your trademark tiny shit?

376
00:14:08,341 --> 00:14:10,011
‐ Very funny.

377
00:14:10,011 --> 00:14:12,390
Oh, Jesus, I love drugs.
‐ Oh, pee‐pee.

378
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:14,896
Oh, Gabe.
FRIEND: Hey, be careful, dude.

379
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,691
FRIEND 2: Whoa.
FRIEND: Dude, that's ketamine.

380
00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:18,361
GABE: Mm‐hmm. RUTHIE: Uh, yeah.

381
00:14:18,361 --> 00:14:20,156
Think about how much coke
you would normally do

382
00:14:20,156 --> 00:14:21,408
and do, like, a tenth of that.

383
00:14:21,408 --> 00:14:24,874
‐ Please, honey.
I invented drugs.

384
00:14:24,874 --> 00:14:26,418
Here we go. [sniffs]

385
00:14:26,418 --> 00:14:27,462
[coughs]

386
00:14:27,462 --> 00:14:28,674
Oh. [coughs]

387
00:14:28,674 --> 00:14:30,134
RUTHIE: Oh, my God.

388
00:14:30,134 --> 00:14:33,307
Um, you are about to go
into a K hole.

389
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:34,769
‐ What's that?

390
00:14:34,769 --> 00:14:36,397
‐ [sighs]

391
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:39,696
‐ A K hole is the darkest place
in the world,

392
00:14:39,696 --> 00:14:41,156
where you're fully paralyzed

393
00:14:41,156 --> 00:14:43,620
because you've done
too much ketamine.

394
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:46,083
‐ No, the '80s was
the darkest place in the world.

395
00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,377
This I can handle.

396
00:14:49,674 --> 00:14:51,678
PLAYER: Take the dog
away from the Casio.

397
00:14:51,678 --> 00:14:52,722
‐ Ryan.

398
00:14:52,722 --> 00:14:53,849
‐ Yeah.
‐ Come on.

399
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:54,934
‐ Ryan.
‐ Shake it up.

400
00:14:54,934 --> 00:14:56,896
‐ [gasps]
‐ Oh, Annie!

401
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,900
‐ Annie sauce!
‐ Ha ha ha.

402
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,904
You did not tell us
that you were with Annie.

403
00:15:00,904 --> 00:15:02,533
‐ Yeah.

404
00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:04,829
‐ What the hell?
I thought that you liked us?

405
00:15:04,829 --> 00:15:06,331
‐ Both of you?

406
00:15:06,331 --> 00:15:08,837
‐ Yeah.
‐ Yeah.

407
00:15:08,837 --> 00:15:10,924
‐ I like you as friends, but...
Come on.

408
00:15:10,924 --> 00:15:12,302
Please?

409
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,222
Maybe just the two of us
can talk?

410
00:15:14,222 --> 00:15:15,475
‐ Yeah.

411
00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:17,353
Oh, and I got you this.

412
00:15:17,353 --> 00:15:19,149
‐ Oh.
‐ So if you need to talk to me

413
00:15:19,149 --> 00:15:21,111
at any point,
just give me a ring.

414
00:15:21,111 --> 00:15:22,155
‐ Okay.

415
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,742
Okay, I just, um...

416
00:15:23,742 --> 00:15:26,288
I'm kind of freaking the fuck
out right now.

417
00:15:26,288 --> 00:15:29,044
I told everyone, like,
"Oh, I'm great," or whatever,

418
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:31,758
but that's fucking fake,
you know?

419
00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:35,098
And my hair is so heavy
because it's fake,

420
00:15:35,098 --> 00:15:37,352
and I‐I drank a lot.

421
00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:39,272
Like, I drank a lot of liquids.

422
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,863
Different liquids all mixed up,
and I'm just‐‐

423
00:15:42,863 --> 00:15:45,201
Like, do I seem okay?

424
00:15:45,201 --> 00:15:46,704
Be honest, please.

425
00:15:46,704 --> 00:15:49,376
Like, does the feelings
in my brain‐‐

426
00:15:49,376 --> 00:15:52,800
are they starting to also
come out to the outside of me?

427
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,804
‐ You're fine.

428
00:15:54,804 --> 00:15:56,431
You're great.

429
00:15:56,431 --> 00:15:57,893
‐ Are you sure?

430
00:15:57,893 --> 00:16:00,022
‐ I promise.

431
00:16:00,022 --> 00:16:02,193
SINGER:
♪ Even when you can't see it ♪

432
00:16:02,193 --> 00:16:04,156
♪ You try to believe ♪

433
00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:06,326
‐ Yeah.
I feel great.

434
00:16:06,326 --> 00:16:08,497
I feel actually
really fucking great.

435
00:16:08,497 --> 00:16:10,586
Thanks.

436
00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:13,174
I feel fucking great.

437
00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:15,721
It's dog shit out there,
Andrew.

438
00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:18,602
Really fucking bad, okay?

439
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,315
And I don't have anything
to show for it.

440
00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:25,406
I'm sad, I'm mad, nobody
in the world will hire me.

441
00:16:25,406 --> 00:16:28,162
Everyone's real fucking good
on their wheel shoes

442
00:16:28,162 --> 00:16:31,293
showing off making me
look like a dumbass.

443
00:16:31,293 --> 00:16:33,505
Hello, 911?

444
00:16:33,505 --> 00:16:35,509
Yes, could you please kill me

445
00:16:35,509 --> 00:16:38,850
and then bury my body
in the fucking dump?

446
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:40,186
Sucks.

447
00:16:40,186 --> 00:16:41,521
‐ Dr. Martin Luther King
once said‐‐

448
00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:42,900
‐ Oh, my God. Shut up.

449
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,486
I don't need to talk
to you anymore,

450
00:16:44,486 --> 00:16:46,198
'cause there's
my real fucking friend.

451
00:16:46,198 --> 00:16:47,492
Amadi?

452
00:16:47,492 --> 00:16:49,204
Amadi. AMADI: Annie.

453
00:16:49,204 --> 00:16:51,500
‐ Can I have a real honesty
talk with you, please?

454
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:54,422
‐ Yeah, okay, I get it‐‐she's
drunk, and she's getting real.

455
00:16:54,422 --> 00:16:55,759
‐ Yeah. Yeah.
‐ [laughs]

456
00:16:55,759 --> 00:16:58,222
‐ [crying] I lied so much.

457
00:16:58,222 --> 00:17:00,059
I miss working at "The Thorn."

458
00:17:00,059 --> 00:17:02,021
I miss you guys. I miss money.

459
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:06,446
And I know Gabe is a dick, but
I should have never quit.

460
00:17:06,446 --> 00:17:08,242
And I have to
tell you the truth.

461
00:17:08,242 --> 00:17:11,541
There is‐‐
there's no job at "The Trib."

462
00:17:11,541 --> 00:17:13,294
‐ Oh.

463
00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:16,926
‐ So now I'm just a big fucking
dumb liar who sucks.

464
00:17:16,926 --> 00:17:18,763
‐ Hey, everyone's
full of shit, okay?

465
00:17:18,763 --> 00:17:20,474
It doesn't matter.

466
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,437
And if you want your job back,
just go ask for it.

467
00:17:22,437 --> 00:17:24,024
Gabe didn't fire you, you quit.

468
00:17:24,024 --> 00:17:26,904
‐ Yeah, but I fucked
everything up with Gabe,

469
00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:28,992
and now he hates me,
and he won't even look at me.

470
00:17:28,992 --> 00:17:31,664
‐ No, he doesn't. I've been
working with him a lot, okay?

471
00:17:31,664 --> 00:17:33,500
When you quit, it spun him out.

472
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,087
‐ Really?
‐ Yeah.

473
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:37,342
He feels like
an old close‐minded jerk.

474
00:17:37,342 --> 00:17:39,137
And he might not admit it,

475
00:17:39,137 --> 00:17:41,475
but he wants a redo
just as bad as you do.

476
00:17:41,475 --> 00:17:43,938
‐ You really think so?
‐ Yeah.

477
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:46,276
Now, go eat some shit
and go get your job back.

478
00:17:46,276 --> 00:17:48,782
I saw Gabe a minute ago
over by the lockers.

479
00:17:48,782 --> 00:17:51,704
‐ Okay, you are such a angel
to me.

480
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,123
Such a true angel.

481
00:17:53,123 --> 00:17:55,044
And you actually have a call.
‐ All right.

482
00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:56,589
‐ It's from God.
‐ Okay. It's God?

483
00:17:56,589 --> 00:17:58,342
‐ And He wants to thank you
for your service.

484
00:17:58,342 --> 00:17:59,887
‐ Okay.
God, what's up, man?

485
00:18:03,352 --> 00:18:06,316
[psychedelic rock music]

486
00:18:06,316 --> 00:18:08,822
‐ [sighs]
Gabe?

487
00:18:10,366 --> 00:18:12,120
Are we allowed in here?

488
00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:17,004
Um...

489
00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:21,096
I'm just‐‐
I'm just gonna say it.

490
00:18:21,096 --> 00:18:24,310
I want my job back,
and I'm sorry.

491
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:27,024
And I also should confess.

492
00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:29,530
Currently I am drunk.

493
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:34,330
But I do still mean
all the words.

494
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,044
And‐‐and‐‐

495
00:18:37,044 --> 00:18:38,757
and if you have me back,

496
00:18:38,757 --> 00:18:41,344
you can give me all
the shit assignments you want.

497
00:18:41,344 --> 00:18:44,685
Anything you want,
and I will say thank you,

498
00:18:44,685 --> 00:18:46,564
and I'll do it with a smile.

499
00:18:46,564 --> 00:18:51,532
I just really, really, really
want people with real eyes

500
00:18:51,532 --> 00:18:54,663
to read my work again
and not just penis bots.

501
00:18:54,663 --> 00:18:58,378
♪ ♪

502
00:18:58,378 --> 00:19:01,134
Please.
‐ Okay, I like "please."

503
00:19:01,134 --> 00:19:02,512
"Please" I like.

504
00:19:02,512 --> 00:19:05,644
I like a long ple‐e‐ase.

505
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,396
‐ I should have never quit.

506
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:09,234
I should have come to talk
to you,

507
00:19:09,234 --> 00:19:12,448
and I always thought
you were the coolest,

508
00:19:12,448 --> 00:19:16,289
the most authentic,
smart, cool‐‐

509
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,711
‐ I‐I am.

510
00:19:18,711 --> 00:19:20,799
‐ Yes.

511
00:19:20,799 --> 00:19:22,176
You‐‐you totally are.

512
00:19:22,176 --> 00:19:25,182
‐ If I was
to take you back, Annie,

513
00:19:25,182 --> 00:19:29,357
you would have to experience
my res‐‐

514
00:19:29,357 --> 00:19:32,990
you'd have to respect
my experience,

515
00:19:32,990 --> 00:19:37,039
because I have been doing this
for 20 years.

516
00:19:37,039 --> 00:19:41,089
And you have been doing this
for 20 minutes.

517
00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:44,012
‐ Yes, and maybe
you could be open

518
00:19:44,012 --> 00:19:47,184
to the idea that I am talented

519
00:19:47,184 --> 00:19:49,940
and I deserve respect as well.

520
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,819
♪ ♪

521
00:19:51,819 --> 00:19:54,324
Or‐‐or‐‐or not.

522
00:19:54,324 --> 00:19:56,202
It's not a deal breaker.

523
00:19:56,202 --> 00:19:59,500
I'll come back either that way
or the other way, with no‐‐

524
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:03,635
‐ Annie, you need to learn
what the rules are before you‐‐

525
00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:05,346
before you just break 'em.

526
00:20:05,346 --> 00:20:07,183
‐ That is‐‐that is so smart.

527
00:20:07,183 --> 00:20:09,228
‐ I want to be your mentor.

528
00:20:09,228 --> 00:20:11,149
But you won't let me.

529
00:20:12,986 --> 00:20:16,702
‐ Yeah, but does that mean
I can come back?

530
00:20:16,702 --> 00:20:18,497
‐ Yeah!

531
00:20:18,497 --> 00:20:20,209
‐ Oh, wow, yes.

532
00:20:20,209 --> 00:20:22,589
Thank you. Thank you so much.

533
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,593
I was so scared
you were gonna say no,

534
00:20:24,593 --> 00:20:26,639
and I'm so happy.

535
00:20:26,639 --> 00:20:28,225
I‐I promise you,

536
00:20:28,225 --> 00:20:31,732
I can really appreciate
what "The Thorn" is now.

537
00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:34,237
♪ ♪

538
00:20:34,237 --> 00:20:36,074
Gabe?

539
00:20:36,074 --> 00:20:37,869
Gabe?

540
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:39,748
[Gabe muttering indistinctly]

541
00:20:39,748 --> 00:20:41,669
Gabe?

542
00:20:41,669 --> 00:20:43,255
‐ K hole.

543
00:20:44,883 --> 00:20:48,558
[Gabe muttering]
Why won't...anybody help me?

544
00:20:48,558 --> 00:20:50,102
‐ What?

545
00:20:50,102 --> 00:20:52,273
‐ [muttering]
Get me out of my body.

546
00:20:52,273 --> 00:20:54,068
‐ Help you
get out of your body?

547
00:20:57,659 --> 00:20:58,786
‐ I want
that fucking thing, man!

548
00:20:58,786 --> 00:21:00,957
Come on!
Machines have taken over!

549
00:21:00,957 --> 00:21:03,462
They atomized the Midwest!
The opioid epidemic
is happening!

550
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,717
All right, give me
this fucking thing!

551
00:21:05,717 --> 00:21:07,637
‐ I believe in you!

552
00:21:07,637 --> 00:21:09,683
‐ Machines will not control me!

553
00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:11,352
[people roar]

554
00:21:11,352 --> 00:21:13,566
Get it!
Get the fuckin' thing! Get it!

555
00:21:13,566 --> 00:21:15,069
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ Give me the watch!

556
00:21:15,069 --> 00:21:17,323
‐ Right there.
‐ Yeah!

557
00:21:17,323 --> 00:21:20,287
[all cheering] Yes! We did it!

558
00:21:20,287 --> 00:21:22,124
‐ Fuck society!

559
00:21:22,124 --> 00:21:23,753
‐ That's right!
[all screaming]

560
00:21:23,753 --> 00:21:25,047
I did this for you guys!

561
00:21:25,047 --> 00:21:26,717
I'm the one that‐‐
‐ Ryan!

562
00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:30,015
‐ Oh, shit.

563
00:21:30,015 --> 00:21:31,351
‐ Ryan!

564
00:21:31,351 --> 00:21:33,021
I love you!

565
00:21:33,021 --> 00:21:34,691
You're one of us now!

566
00:21:34,691 --> 00:21:36,695
‐ I love you guys!
BEAU: I love you, too.

567
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:37,989
‐ My hair.
‐ No.

568
00:21:37,989 --> 00:21:40,410
No. Okay, see?

569
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:44,127
Gabe, we're gonna get you home
nice and safe, okay?

570
00:21:44,127 --> 00:21:47,007
And, yes,
Monday you're my boss,

571
00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:49,220
but tonight you're my baby.

572
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,767
You know,
and babies get kissed.

573
00:21:51,767 --> 00:21:53,855
See that? Oh!

574
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:56,151
Here's a car that I called
for you, okay?

575
00:21:56,151 --> 00:21:58,739
Hi. Tyler?

576
00:21:58,739 --> 00:22:01,537
Okay, you actually‐‐
This is Gabe.

577
00:22:01,537 --> 00:22:04,167
And you're gonna have a baby
on board here, okay?

578
00:22:04,167 --> 00:22:07,966
So you need to get him home,
okeydokey?

579
00:22:07,966 --> 00:22:09,135
‐ [grunts]

580
00:22:09,135 --> 00:22:10,847
‐ Thank you, sir.

581
00:22:10,847 --> 00:22:13,561
Um, okay, Gabe?

582
00:22:13,561 --> 00:22:15,982
I'm gonna see you on Monday.

583
00:22:15,982 --> 00:22:17,944
I love you.

584
00:22:17,944 --> 00:22:19,740
Bye!

585
00:22:19,740 --> 00:22:23,246
Oh, this is the best night
of my life!

586
00:22:23,246 --> 00:22:25,668
[retches, gasps]

587
00:22:25,668 --> 00:22:27,254
I'm sorry.

588
00:22:27,254 --> 00:22:30,553
[retches, coughs]

589
00:22:30,553 --> 00:22:31,931
I'm so disgusting.

590
00:22:31,931 --> 00:22:34,645
Just, please, don't look at me.

591
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:35,688
‐ It's okay.

592
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,567
It's totally okay.

593
00:22:37,567 --> 00:22:38,736
Oh, shit.

594
00:22:38,736 --> 00:22:40,405
I just broke your hair.

595
00:22:40,405 --> 00:22:42,911
‐ [crying] It's fucking fake.
It's all fucking fake.

596
00:22:42,911 --> 00:22:46,209
I'm so sorry you have
to see me like this.

597
00:22:46,209 --> 00:22:48,004
[sobs]
‐ I want to help.

598
00:22:48,004 --> 00:22:52,388
‐ No, but you already helped me
so much tonight.

599
00:22:52,388 --> 00:22:55,352
Thank you for coming with me,
'cause I was so scared.

600
00:22:55,352 --> 00:22:57,356
I was so embarrassed,

601
00:22:57,356 --> 00:23:00,697
and now you're pushing my puke
down the drain.

602
00:23:00,697 --> 00:23:02,032
‐ I want to help.

603
00:23:02,032 --> 00:23:04,203
‐ I'm so disgusting.
I'm sorry.

604
00:23:04,203 --> 00:23:05,623
[sobs]

605
00:23:05,623 --> 00:23:08,378
[sighs]

606
00:23:08,378 --> 00:23:10,215
‐ Don't say that.

607
00:23:10,215 --> 00:23:12,011
Don't say you're gross
and disgusting.

608
00:23:12,011 --> 00:23:13,013
I don't care.

609
00:23:13,013 --> 00:23:15,392
I'm sometimes gross.

610
00:23:15,392 --> 00:23:17,396
We're allowed to be gross
with each other.

611
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:21,905
I'll be gross
with you always, Annie.

612
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:27,709
I love you.

613
00:23:27,709 --> 00:23:29,503
‐ What?

614
00:23:29,503 --> 00:23:32,844
‐ Yeah.
I love you.

615
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:34,598
I've known for a while now.

616
00:23:34,598 --> 00:23:36,643
[Jenny Lewis' "Do Si Do"]

617
00:23:36,643 --> 00:23:38,480
‐ I love you. too.

618
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,614
JENNY LEWIS:
♪ Get back on your Paxil ♪

619
00:23:42,614 --> 00:23:45,787
♪ Do‐si‐do ♪

620
00:23:45,787 --> 00:23:49,251
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

621
00:23:49,251 --> 00:23:52,550
♪ You're a pro ♪

622
00:23:52,550 --> 00:23:55,765
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

623
00:23:55,765 --> 00:23:58,144
♪ Do‐si‐do ♪

624
00:23:58,144 --> 00:24:00,482
♪ ♪

625
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:05,660
♪ Make the grown man cry ♪

626
00:24:05,660 --> 00:24:08,456
♪ It's suicide ♪

627
00:24:08,456 --> 00:24:12,297
♪ My, oh, my ♪

628
00:24:12,297 --> 00:24:18,686
♪ Powerful minds ♪

629
00:24:18,686 --> 00:24:21,650
♪ And suicide ♪

630
00:24:21,650 --> 00:24:23,946
♪ My, oh, my ♪

631
00:24:23,946 --> 00:24:25,365
♪ ♪

632
00:24:25,365 --> 00:24:31,920
♪ Powerful minds ♪

633
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,676
♪ And suicide ♪

634
00:24:34,676 --> 00:24:37,557
♪ My, oh, my ♪

635
00:24:37,557 --> 00:24:41,690
♪ ♪

636
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:45,531
♪ Do‐si‐do ♪

637
00:24:45,531 --> 00:24:48,537
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

638
00:24:48,537 --> 00:24:51,543
♪ Rock and roll ♪

639
00:24:51,543 --> 00:24:54,549
♪ ♪