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(audience applauding)
- The $100,000 comedy champion is...
(drum roll)
Al Lubel!
(audience applauding)
- So, my next guest started out
actually as a practicing lawyer
before going into stand up comedy.
Would you welcome Al Lubel?
- One of the original Star Search winners, Al Lubel.
- Do you remember Al Lubel? - Very well.
I have an Al Lubel story.
- Please welcome back the wacky,
the odd Al Lubel.
The wacky, the odd Al Lubel.
- Al Lubel!
- Al Lubel, Al Lubel, Al Lubel,
Al Lubel, Al Lubel, Al Lubel,
Al Lubel, Al Lubel,
Al Lubel, Al Lubel, Al Lubel, Al Lubel,
Al Lubel, Al Lubel, Al Lubel.
You know what's strange?
The more I say my name,
the more you all look at me like who is this guy?
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
(soft jazz music)
(audience applauding)
- Okay, the two comedy semi-finalists made us all laugh
in their regular appearances here on Star Search.
And tonight, they are doing it for a shot at $100,000.
Appearing first, we have an attorney turned comedian.
Please welcome Al Lubel.
(audience applauding)
- Thank you.
Well, to our seven prestigious panelists,
I'd just like to say who are you to judge? (laughing)
But I've noticed the singing competition
is a lot easier to win on Star Search
than the comedy, I think,
'cause to win the singing,
all you have to do is get applause
not just at the end of the song,
in the middle of the song.
And to get applause,
all you have to do is hit a high note.
♪ Somewhere over the rainbow
♪ There'll be a place for me
(audience applauding)
♪ Thank you very much
♪ Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen ♪
♪ It's nice to be here tonight
♪ At Flappers in the the Yoo Hoo ♪
♪ Some of you may be wondering why I'm singing ♪
♪ It's 'cause I like singing
♪ I enjoy singing but I am a comedian ♪
♪ My job is to get laughs
♪ I hope I'm funny here tonight ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ I got a few laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ I got lots more laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ I got less laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ More laughs right there
(audience laughing)
♪ Even more laughs right there
(audience laughing)
♪ Less laughs right there
(audience laughing)
♪ Slightly more laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Less laughs right there
(audience laughing)
♪ More laughs right there
(audience laughing)
♪ A big long laugh right there
(audience laughing)
♪ Even more laughs right there
♪ No laughs right there
(audience laughing)
♪ More laughs right there
♪ This is pretty much my show
(audience laughing)
♪ More laughs right there
- He is an artist.
Before there was a word alternative comedy,
there was Al.
- And being narcissistic
means I'm incredibly afraid of death.
I'm so scared of death,
I mean, I'm afraid of having a silent heart attack.
Have you heard about that?
I'm not making this up.
There's an actual thing called a silent heart attack.
That's where you have a heart attack, right,
but you feel no chest pain.
You have no symptoms,
but you actually had a heart attack.
I'm thinking no chest pain,
I have no chest pain.
(audience laughing)
It's a really long one.
(audience laughing)
- If you really wanted me to wax poetic,
I wouldn't know what the expression meant.
But you love him or you don't get it, you know?
And I'm in the I love him category.
- You do not die the second your heart stops beating.
You don't even pass out the second your heart stops beating.
You don't pass out the second your heart stops beating.
Your heart beats, it beats, it beats.
But what's it doing in between?
Beat, non-beat, beat, non-beat,
Beat, non-beat, beat, non-beat, beat, non-beat.
So you don't pass out the second your heart stops beating.
If people passed out the second their heart stopped beating,
everybody would be walking around like.
(audience laughing)
- His jokes are fantastic.
They're as great as anyone's jokes.
But he also has this obsession
with very experimental comedy.
- This is what my brain feels like constantly.
(somber piano music)
- I've always liked people that were original and unique
because there's so many comics out there now.
You know, there's comics and then there's Al Lubel.
- I like saying Al Lubel.
(audience laughing)
Probably 'cause I chose Al Lubel.
Al Lubel is my stage name.
Yeah, you may think Al Lubel is two names.
It's not.
It's one name.
Sting, Cher, Seal, Rihanna, Beyonce, Allubel.
(audience laughing)
- [Marc] Al Lubel is a very unique performer.
He's a very talented man,
a very interesting comedian.
I did one of my first works working ever,
and I middled for him,
and I was like this guy's got balls!
He's so introspective and neurotic
in such a specific and charming way
that if you're a comic,
if you're self-centered at all and you watch Al,
you're like oh my god,
he's really nailing all this stuff.
And then but at some point,
you're like oh my god, he's nailing it too much.
You kinda crave him
just to talk about ice cream or something.
- So one night, I'm doing my act
and I'm going on and on about my name
as you might imagine.
(audience laughing)
And this guy in the audience,
he heckles me.
He shouts out, "Tell a joke!"
So I said to him, okay,
obviously this humor's a little too weird for you,
a little too offbeat.
You want something more traditional like a joke.
You want a joke-joke.
Okay, so,
so these two Jews,
that's right, these two Jews go into a bar.
Each of them are named Al Lubel.
(audience laughing)
- He's so brilliant.
He's so funny.
Every comic knows he's hilarious.
Somehow, powers that be didn't pick up on him.
- [Jim] How many Al Lubel jokes
do you have in there at this point?
There's an awful lot of them.
- Okay, the first one is
that I like saying Al Lubel,
the second one is I only talk about Al Lubel,
the third one was that it's great taste to love Al Lubel,
the fourth one is it's not that I feel better than,
it's more like there are other people.
- [Jim] Right.
- And the other one I was gonna throw in was
that pack a lunch joke.
The narcissist died of starvation.
- You've got one, two, three, four, five jokes
that are basically the same joke.
- [Al] Mm-hmm.
- The rule is usually three.
(laughing)
The problem with it is is that you present a character
who is narcissistic, self-involved.
We don't know him, we don't know this guy yet.
Why would we care about your narcissism?
Why would we care?
- But-- - What does that lead to then?
- So it leads to the joke where I say I was a lawyer
but I wasn't very good.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my client's charged with robbery
and faces up to 50 years in jail,
but enough about him.
- [Andy] The comedian's responsibility
is to be funny as he or she sees fit.
And he's going to do what he wants to do
because he knows who he is
and he knows where his comedy comes from.
And I think that's an ingredient that makes a great comic.
(upbeat jazz music) (audience applauding)
- Thank you, thank you very much.
Yes, my name is Al Lubel
and let me tell you a little about Al Lubel.
In fact, I'm all I talk about in my act
'cause I feel that talking about myself
is what makes me different
from all the other comedians out there today,
'cause if you notice,
they almost never talk about Al Lubel.
(audience laughing)
- I remember when some of it first started
way back in the early '90s,
Al was taking a turn away from
a very standard way of doing stand up
that would have been much easier for him
as a road to saying no,
I'm gonna be really honest about how I think,
what my worldview is,
how I experience reality,
and I'm gonna take you with me.
- And that's even optimistic to say I can die any second,
right, 'cause that assumes
that it takes at least a second to die.
But the truth is you can go just like that.
Have you heard that before?
You can go just like that.
That's not a second.
Ha!
That's a fraction of a second, right?
Ha!
This is a second.
Ah.
(audience laughing)
Right?
So not only can I die now, or now, or now,
I can die now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now.
I can't answer simple questions.
Hey Al, got a second?
I don't know.
(audience laughing)
- You know, there's different styles of being funny
and I prefer people who are just themselves
off stage and on stage.
- Hi, this is Chicago Steve.
- And I'm Dr. Gonzo.
- And I'm a human soul.
- His issues as a person are what makes him hilarious to me.
- [Narrator] Land lover Al Lubel wasn't too excited
about venturing out to sea.
- I'm afraid I'll lose control of my mind,
and I'll just keep going out to sea,
and I won't have control of my mind.
So it's really mind control that works,
but not how to operate the jet ski,
just control of my mind.
- [Narrator] However, he did try
and stand up on the jet ski for one brief moment.
- Comedians know that Al is crazy funny
and an original thinker.
And then I think comedians also worry about Al
'cause you could tell
he's going down some wormhole in his own mind.
- I joke about ego, but I do have,
I'm a big low self esteem guy.
- You hide behind it. - Self destructive.
- But you've never really destroyed yourself totally.
- No, 'cause I'm incompetent.
- You're incompetent self destructive.
- Yes.
I'm an incompetent self--
- And that makes you even more self destructive.
- Yes, I'm attacking myself.
- So you cannot destroy yourself.
- Right.
You idiot, you can't even destroy yourself, you idiot.
- It's like a failed kamikaze pilot.
- Right, exactly,
but at least he's working for the government.
I'm just sitting there in my fucking room alone.
(audience laughing)
- [Kevin] Nice hand for Al Lubel,
ladies and gentlemen, Al Lubel.
- How do you define success?
Success, to me,
is someone who is happy about their situation and rich.
- [Joshua] How did Al come to live here?
- Well, he called me up
and he said that he was in the midst of packing
and bringing things to a storage unit,
and he said that he was moving out of his friend's house.
And I said well, you're going away for a week tour.
Where are you coming when you come back?
He's like I don't know yet.
So I said well, that's ridiculous.
Come stay here.
When you care about somebody even as a friend,
you can't see them sleeping in their car or whatever.
[Joshua speakinging]
- (laughing) It's been five months.
- Yeah, this is an interesting dialogue between us
because we're not a couple,
but it sounds like we're a couple, right?
I really just don't like Hollywood.
I mean, it's like unbelievable
because it attracts nutty people.
I haven't really thought clearly about it
but I'm guessing the whole showbiz thing,
you know, of television, movies.
It attracts crazy people.
I mean, L.A. attracts craziness.
I mean, just to want to become a star is crazy to begin with
and Hollywood is the center of it all.
It's almost like the center of all the people
that didn't become stars.
They're either just getting here to try to be one
or they never became one.
That is to branch out of Hollywood and get to Malibu.
(laughing)
But that goes for anything comedian, right?
- This is Al Lubel, a very famous guy.
Please don't bother him.
He's in the middle of an interview.
(laughing)
As I was saying--
- By the way, could I say this?
- Yes.
- When you say,
don't you find it sad though in a way
that you have to tell people I'm very famous?
And if someone's very famous,
you don't have to go,
and now, the very famous President Obama.
(laughing)
- He could be making a lot of money if he wanted to,
you know?
And he could be very famous, I think,
if he really wanted to.
I mean, you really need a lot of enthusiasm,
and dedication, and ambition, and drive
to become, I think, famous.
I won't say successful, but famous.
And I don't know that Al has that.
- I know a lot of people are lazy, but I'm very lazy.
Yes, very lazy.
I mean, to give you an example of how lazy I am,
I was too lazy to come up with an example.
(audience laughing)
Very, very lazy.
I swear to you I just lie in bed all day long
and do absolutely nothing.
You know what I was thinking?
They're gonna put on my tombstone
may he continue to rest in peace.
(audience laughing)
(soft jazz music)
I mean, I remember Jerry Seinfeld had that quote.
He said if you're a comedian and you wake up after 10:00,
you're a failure.
And at least in terms of his theory,
I'm proof that he's right,
that I haven't succeeded and I wake up after 10:00.
I wake up at about 12:00.
A lot of mornings, I wake up and I go fuck Seinfeld.
(laughing)
The day is shot, career is shot.
And I remember reading this article
about this big superstar comedian.
And in the article, it said if he didn't get his big break,
he didn't know where he'd be today.
I remember lying in bed in that little room thinking,
well, at least I know.
(audience laughing)
- And as years passed from when I first met him,
he went farther and farther in the direction of somebody
who was revealing what his obsessions were.
♪ I'm Al Lubel
♪ I'm Al Lubel, I'm Al Lubel
♪ I'm Al Lubel, I'm Al Lubel, I'm Al ♪
- It's pretty difficult.
It's pretty difficult trying to live with somebody
who doesn't have the same hygienic practices,
either the personal
let me take a shower every day kind of thing
or the way that he dresses.
And Al lost a lot of weight.
He lost a lot of weight.
He still wears the same T-shirts.
The problem is they're swimming on him.
He looks disheveled all the time.
- I don't even know what disheveled really means.
- [Gail] Oh, come on.
- I know it's not good.
- [Gail] Well, you're not shaved
and look at your shirt. - Not shaved.
Right, it's got sweat marks?
- Yeah.
- Other than that, what's wrong with it?
It looks cheap.
- [Gail] No, it doesn't fit you.
It's like you're swimming in it.
- Well, the collar's not bad.
A lot of times, you've told me that the collar is too low.
- The collar might not be low,
but it's not exactly nice.
- You know, off stage, you see Al
and sometimes he's got the real shaggy afro going
and he's wearing an old coat,
and you think is that a homeless guy over there?
Oh, that's Al Lubel.
- I remember Todd Barry saying
it's like he's like a homeless person
that does Letterman every six months.
- Oh, so I'm talking to this lady.
She says to me, "You look homeless."
(audience laughing)
And I was thinking people have compassion for the homeless.
Shouldn't people also have some compassion
for the homeless looking?
(audience laughing)
I mean, the reason I look homeless
is 'cause I can't afford good clothes
'cause all my money goes to paying rent.
You know what's ironic?
I wouldn't look homeless if I was homeless.
(audience laughing)
- I told, I said, "Al, you gotta cut your hair."
You gotta clean yourself up
because you're still trying to appeal to bookers.
There's still just some man or women
who's like should we have Al?
Is Al okay?
And if you're sending signals like I might not be okay,
they may be afraid to book you.
- [Joshua] Do you ever think like, you know,
well, if I cleaned myself up,
I can't do the I look homeless bit.
- Right, sure, yeah, I know.
I think about that.
And I'm gonna go to Atlantic City next week,
and I think about
I'll probably dress a little better on stage,
and then it makes it less believable that I look homeless.
Yeah, so I do think about that.
But I think some of my issues will never go away,
like issues with my mother, and fear of growing up,
and fear of this, and fear of that.
But I do worry if I do get more adjusted.
But I think by the time I get more adjusted,
I'm gonna be done with comedy anyway.
- He is so aware of how he's fucked up
and why he's fucked up.
His whole relationship with his mother is bananas.
To be aware of it is half the battle.
But he seems to be aware of it
and yet has not processed past it.
- Al Lubel, ladies and gentlemen.
There's something wrong with you, Al.
- [Gail] What time do you want to go to that thing?
- Well, I've got,
are you okay with not?
You wanted to go,
you wanted to go to that?
- I did kind of want to go, but that's okay.
Tomorrow's my birthday
and I'll just go to Griffith Park tomorrow.
- Okay, no. (faint speaking)
No, you could go--
- Say happy birthday to me.
That's all right, that's fine.
- No, but.
I mean, I just don't like being, you know.
- Yeah.
You don't like people seeing your act, I get it.
- No. (laughing)
- [Gail] You're shy.
You're a stand up comedian.
You don't want anyone to see you.
(Al laughing)
I understand completely.
Go, have fun.
- Well, that could be my thing,
the guy who won't let anyone see him.
- [Gail] How would you do that?
- Maybe I can make people want to see me.
- [Gail] Why would you do that?
- Well, that could be my hook,
and then reverse psychology.
Then people think oh, it's the guy.
He doesn't want anyone to see him.
We want to see him 'cause he wants no one to see him.
That could be my thing.
- [Gail] Do you think that would work
from a marketing perspective?
- No, I just want people I know.
I don't want people I know to see me
because you've seen me before.
I like doing things alone,
so I'm a loner.
When I do stand up, I like going alone.
It's just my habit.
I've been doing this for years.
That's my habit.
It's like going to work.
Like if you had a day job,
you probably wouldn't want me
going with you to your day job.
- [Gail] I don't care.
- Well, that's, if you really don't care--
- [Gail] You want to come
and watch me on set somewhere produce?
Fine with me.
I don't care.
- Everyday, go with you to your day job.
- [Gail] Do I go with you every single day?
- No. - No, thank you.
You're sweating your ass off.
- No, I'm just saying,
I don't want people to,
you know, I don't like people going with me to my job.
It just creates more anxiety for me.
I'm already anxious.
It makes me anxious to go.
And I like no people coming with me
'cause that creates more anxiety.
(audience laughing)
Let me sit down.
By the way, I don't know if you can tell I'm limping.
I didn't always limp.
I feel weird always saying I didn't always limp,
like honestly, I'm saying that to defend myself
like I haven't always been a cripple.
(audience laughing)
I have a thing from birth called hip dysplasia.
Some people may have heard of that.
It's badly formed hips,
but I was fine for years because your muscles take over.
And then gradually,
the joint deteriorated like about seven years ago
so it's bone on bone in my right hip.
Now, humans aren't known for hip dysplasia really.
Dogs are known for it.
If you've heard about hip dysplasia,
you've probably heard of dogs,
German Shepherds especially, right?
German Shepherds and now Jewish comedians.
(audience laughing)
So yeah, I do have this hip dysplasia thing and I limp.
And people are always saying to me,
I get this a lot,
they see me limping.
You got a bad hip?
You should get hip replacing.
You really need hip replacement.
Are you in pain?
They always say, "Are you in pain?"
You're limping, look, you're limping.
Yeah, but don't they realize it's just the opposite?
See, I'm not in pain.
You know why I'm not in pain?
'Cause I'm limping.
(audience laughing)
If you see me walking normally, I'm in agony.
(audience laughing)
The reason I'm limping is I'm not in pain
but (mumbles) pain, get hip replacement.
You really...
God, look it, you're limping.
See, again, they're projecting.
They're the ones in pain.
You gotta get it.
I hate it.
Like everyone walks normally.
I walk normally.
You're not normal.
You're making me uncomfortable.
I want you to walk like I do.
Get hip replacement so you can join the group,
join this fucking group.
(audience laughing)
Join us all, walk like us.
You must walk like all of us.
No one's allowed to limp for more than a fucking year.
(audience laughing)
You limp over a year,
you've gotta get hip replacement
and walk like the rest of us.
We're not gonna tolerate you limping.
But I digress.
(audience laughing)
You're asking about Atlantic City?
- [Joshua] Yeah.
- Well, I'm afraid to be honest about it.
I'm afraid what I say can get back to the club,
but I'll be performing before they see this, right?
If they ever see this, so. - Mm-hmm.
- But no, I'm just afraid.
Last time I was there, I was opening.
So that's a tougher spot,
so you know, maybe that's the reason,
but I felt it was a crowd that couldn't tolerate
much of my offbeat, silly, weird humor.
I sense they really wanted normal straightforward humor,
and they wouldn't tolerate anything
that was a little strange.
So, while this time luckily I'm in the last position
which will be better for me.
They've seen some comedy at this point.
They're loosened up hopefully.
But I'm just concerned about how much of me I can be.
And I'm willing to pull back on me,
but I need to do some of me
in order to feel good about myself,
so the question is how much of me I can be.
It sounds like a Sinatra song.
(upbeat orchestral music)
♪ On the Boardwalk in Atlantic City ♪
♪ We will walk in a dream
♪ On the Boardwalk in Atlantic city ♪
♪ Life will be peaches and cream ♪
♪ There where the saltwater air ♪
♪ Brings out a lady's charms
♪ There on the rolling chair
♪ He'll roll right into your arms ♪
♪ Cinderella you will find your fella ♪
♪ Someone that you've waiting for ♪
♪ In romantic, enchantic, Atlantic City ♪
♪ Down on the old New Jersey shore ♪
♪ Atlantic City shore
The longer I've done comedy,
the better I've become, I believe,
and comedians think I've gotten better,
and the harder it is to satisfy audiences,
general audiences,
unless you're famous.
If you're famous,
you can do what you want to do
'cause then you attract your own audience.
My audience doesn't know I exist, so they don't come,
'cause I'm not famous.
I'm not well known to them,
the people that would really like me.
So a small percentage of the audience really likes me.
They just didn't know who I was
and they're like oh, I really like that guy.
But there's always a big percentage
that's gonna resist me 'cause I'm weirder now.
After years of doing comedy,
I've developed my own personality.
The best comedians for the road are people
that everyone likes,
that they don't have much of a distinctiveness about them.
Or they're ventriloquists
and the dummy gets to be outrageous.
But god forbid,
you yourself are outrageous without the dummy.
- We were on a flight a couple years ago,
family still together,
we're going to Florida on vacation.
I hear, (groaning) "This is the pilot."
(groaning)
And my wife says to me,
"Boy, I wonder what the hell the co-pilot's doing."
(audience laughing)
And I said it's something you haven't done in a long time.
(audience laughing)
- [Joshua] Are you nervous about tonight's show?
- Yes, I am nervous about it because I haven't.
I'm trying to think of the last time
I closed a show for money somewhere.
I've not been getting much work at all
in L.A. or on the road.
Oh, I guess December was the last time,
doing some gigs in Laughlin, Nevada.
I closed a few shows there.
That's probably it, the last time.
And plus, this is not my type of audience
because I need a crowd that has an attention span
that's willing to listen and go on a journey.
And then, no offense,
but then I throw the documentary into it.
Normally, at this period, I'd be working on it.
But again, I didn't think it through
and think well, you guys are gonna be here.
I'll have less time to do it.
That's another thing I didn't think through.
I think a lot,
but I don't think of the right things.
I just think the same repetitive neurotic thoughts.
These might be some of the reasons
why I'm not more successful
in addition with the fact
that I feel uncomfortable with the concept of success.
I've learned in therapy that I really do,
I believe, you know, it really rang true last,
that I don't like myself.
I feel I'm a bad person to a certain extent.
And at least her theory seems to be
that I don't try to hard for success
'cause I don't think I deserve it.
And I think there's a lot of truth to that.
I was really like almost had tears coming into my eyes.
It was weird that she was getting to me.
And then luckily, the session ended. (laughing)
I mean, I think on the surface,
I come off like a nice guy,
like a friendly nice guy.
But in all honestly underneath this,
I'm this mean, vicious, selfish, evil guy.
But underneath that, I'm a nice guy.
(audience laughing)
You know, people will say to me,
"Come on, Al, you're being too hard on yourself.
"You're nice guy deep down."
And I say to them, "Deep down, no,
"but deep, deep down."
(audience laughing)
Very nice deep, deep down.
Deep down, horrible.
(audience laughing)
That kind of crowd likes it when you go off and are weird.
They want to see something different, I sense in that room.
So I felt comfortable 'cause they want it
and I wanted to see how far I could take it
and they will go with you.
But this crowd, don't do it.
So it's a very weird balancing act
of me trying to do some normal humor to keep them liking me
and then trying to throw in a little of me here and there.
- [Joshua] You're not gonna start
with your singing routine? - Yeah, I am,
and that scares me that you said that.
- [Joshua] Well, I guess I got the impression
because you were talking about
bringing in a little more normal.
- Yeah, normal.
Yeah, no, I know,
but I'm gonna at least give it a shot.
Well, maybe I'm more gutsy than I thought.
- Give it up for Mr. Al Lubel, everybody, Al Lubel!
(audience applauding) (upbeat music)
♪ Thank you very much
♪ Let's keep it going for Artie ♪
♪ Great job, Artie (audience applauding)
♪ What a great job Artie did
♪ It's a great job
♪ And you guys are a nice crowd ♪
♪ It's nice to be here tonight at the Borgata Comedy Club ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Some of you might be wondering why I'm singing ♪
♪ It's 'cause I like singing
♪ I enjoy singing but I am a comedian ♪
♪ My job is to get laughs
♪ I hope I'm funny here tonight ♪
♪ Uh oh, I got no laughs right there though ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ I got some laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ I got less laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Same level laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Slightly more laughs right there ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Even more laughs right there
(audience laughing)
♪ This is pretty much my show
(audience laughing)
I felt like I feel bad.
Like I maybe shouldn't have started out
with that singing thing.
I feel good that I bailed on it
because I know they couldn't have...
Yeah, a lot of people would have loved it,
but there would have a big group
that's like what the fuck is it?
♪ Now, a lot of people are afraid to sing in public ♪
♪ That's why they only sing in the shower ♪
♪ Actually, the shower
♪ That's the only place I sing
(audience laughing)
I was an only child.
(audience laughing)
The crowd was amazingly mixed.
I mean, it's like I could really feel
that a lot people liked it and a lot of people didn't.
And this has happened to me before, splitting the crowd.
But this was extreme.
Miss, are you really a psychiatrist?
- [Female Speaker] Yeah. (laughing)
- You really do that?
Then you should know enough
to shut the fuck up during the show.
(audience laughing)
- [Joshua] What was it that pushed you
to the point of yelling at her on stage?
- Good question.
Well, I was on a lot of green tea at the moment,
you know?
I was trying to wake up with the green tea
and I over drank it, I think, before I went on,
so I was a little hyped.
And she initially irritated me
when I went with the singing thing
and she was making comments right in the beginning.
Like I said did you have stage fright and whatever,
off stage fright.
Oh no, I don't have any, she was like talking.
That's okay, whatever.
I had heard there were people talking in the front row.
I'm assuming it was her, you know?
But then she kept talking while I was up there
in the middle of the thing
and I'm already struggling a little.
I'm worried about the people that are not into it,
I'm trying to keep the ones liking it liking it,
and I gotta listen to this crap.
And she's looking at her phone
and her friend's talking to her with a face like this.
I don't know,
I can't remember what caused me to start talking to her,
but I just felt I needed to talk to her to shut her up.
It's just distracting, if you could just hold her off.
And I guess your patient must be the person next to you
who's still wanting to talk to you.
Okay, then leave.
Thank you very much.
Please give her a hand for--
(audience applauding drowning out speaking)
People just talking in the front row.
I hope I don't get the death penalty for what I just did.
No, but I was too lazy to be--
- [Female Speaker] Other people are leaving too!
- Oh my god, it's a riot. - The whole place is leaving!
- It's a riot.
Okay, back to me.
Luckily, I'm narcissistic.
Back to me now. (laughing)
But that definitely got some people on my side
and turned others more against me. (laughing)
It heightened the division.
This is the reason I'm really concerned.
I am incredibly low on money. (laughing)
I need this paycheck, you know?
It's $2,200.
I was counting on it.
And I'm scared I'll get fired from this performance
because the little I heard of the middle guy,
he was doing great.
The middle guy shouldn't do the best, you know, ideally.
I mean, the last guy should.
That's why I think what they may really do
is move me to the middle
which might be depressing 'cause it's only 20 minute.
I'll have less stage time.
I had 35 minutes closing,
I'll only have 20 in the middle,
and they may cut the money they're gonna pay me.
I doubt if they would do that, but it's possible.
It really does make sense if they put me in the middle,
I think, right?
'Cause that other guy is perfect to close.
I've actually in some ways done better tonight
than I've ever done
by the half of the people that really like me.
A lot of times when I've been playing here,
I never even got those half going, you know?
So it's not so much the room,
it's just you get these.
When I walked in, I was immediately depressed
seeing how many older tired people.
These are not my crowd.
Now, there could be half the crowd
that loves what I'm doing,
but when you get half the crowd hating you,
it's not gonna be easy to get booked back.
I was thinking of a joke about it.
Just the fact they're walking out so much
towards the end of the me,
it's like they have a gambling mentality.
It's like we gambled on this guy, we lost,
and we're leaving the table.
But I knew this going in.
But I can't get into the clubs that really would like me.
Like Andy Kindler, a very funny guy,
he plays some of these.
I just know I would do well
in the rooms that would have him as a headliner,
but I can't get in anywhere,
so I'm either playing here or playing nowhere.
I'm either playing at a place that's wrong for me
or I'm out of work,
and I'm tired of this.
Part of it is that I'm lost in a sea.
I don't have an agent.
I have no one booking me.
I can't book me.
I consider myself really good and I am a casualty.
It's a lot of it's my own fault,
but you would think that being good enough would be enough,
but it's not enough.
The next comedian, a very funny guy.
You've seen a doctor, I'm a lawyer,
and your next comedian's actually a pharmacist.
Yes.
And also, he's been on Denis Leary's Comics Come Home.
Very, very funny guy.
Mr. Artie Januario.
Let him hear it, Artie Januario.
(audience applauding)
I had heard during the day that the order had changed.
I assumed it hadn't.
I really wasn't upset.
I was actually happy because really,
Artie is better to close the show.
- Once again for Dr. Bill.
Dr. Bill writes 'em and I fill 'em.
(audience laughing)
That's what I do, I'm the pharmacist.
I'm not the only pharmacist.
I'd be wicked busy.
- I thought they did it in a nice way.
Bill said to me, "What would you like for an intro?"
And I thought wait, what's going on?
I said, "What do you mean?"
And he goes, "Well, oh, you're gonna go on after me now."
- Ladies and gentlemen,
please get your hands together for Al Lubel.
(audience applauding) (rock music)
- I assumed I was only gonna do 20 minutes
because last night, Bill had 20,
Artie had 20, I had 35,
but they gave me 25 I found out a little later
and they gave Artie 30.
So they were nice enough
to give me an extra five in that spot,
so that let me be a little more myself.
I mean ideally for me,
I'd almost rather they gave my 45
and have Artie close with five.
So yeah, my name is Al Lubel,
I'm your next comic
and I get this question a lot from people
being a comedian.
When they hear I'm a comedian,
I get this question a lot.
Oh, it must be rough being a comedian.
I mean, what do you do when you don't feel funny?
I do badly.
(audience laughing)
I'm already thinking I was scared when I got out there.
Right before I went out,
I thought my god, what if you do really bad at this spot?
Are they gonna have me open tomorrow?
And what if you do bad in that spot?
Am I gonna be like maitre d
or seating the people for my final night,
you know, and not performing at all?
You know when I first realized that I was getting older
is when I noticed that no one was saying this to me anymore.
Relax, you have your whole life ahead of you.
(audience laughing)
I never get that anymore.
Now,
now, people say other things to me.
Are you parents still alive?
(audience laughing)
Do I feel vindicated?
No.
Because it's not that hard to do well in the middle spot,
so I don't feel that vindicated.
I do feel relieved that they think I could do this probably
because I did well there.
So I feel relieved that I did well,
but I don't know if vindicated,
'cause vindicated implies...
You know, for me,
vindication is like I said,
like if I had done it in the closing spot.
I never understood why they have to say still.
Are your parents still alive.
Why do they feel the need
to add the word still to that question?
I mean, if someone said to you, "Are your parents alive,"
would your response be, "You mean still?"
(audience laughing)
First and foremost, I feel responsibility to the audience
to try and give 'em a good time.
They want a good time.
I can do it and I'm not standing up here with old jokes.
I'm still doing my act, I'm just adjusting it.
The question are your parents still alive is wordy.
See, I like to throw the wordiness right back at 'em.
Are your parents still alive?
No, they're still dead.
(audience laughing)
I still was me, I'm still me,
but I'm not quite as crazy.
♪ Whoa, I'm Al Lubel
♪ I'm Al Lubel
I'm getting calls from creditors.
I don't know if you want that in the documentary.
I don't know if I want it in the documentary either,
but I sent them to voicemail.
- [Female Speaker] (mumbles) Rehab, how can I help you?
- Yeah, hi, are you my mother's nurse?
I guess what I'm really trying to say here tonight
is that I hate my mother.
(audience laughing)
How is she doing?
- [Female Speaker] She is doing okay.
She's in bed.
- She's in bed.
Is she sleeping or is she up?
- [Female Speaker] I'm not so sure.
I could go take a look.
- Well, could you see if she's,
I don't want to wake her up,
but if she's up, can I talk to her?
She loves me too much now.
Like I call my mother on the phone and I go,
"Hi, ma, it's Alan."
She goes, "Alan, my son."
- [Ida] Hello!
- Hi, ma.
- [Ida] My son, my son!
- Can't you just say hi, Alan, or Alan.
I mean, what am I supposed to say back?
Alan, my son.
Mother, my mommy.
(audience laughing)
How you doing?
- [Ida] Okay, dear.
- Good.
What's going on?
- [Ida] Nothing much, nothing much.
What about you?
Where are you?
- I'm in Atlantic City.
My mother's 81 years old,
lives in the state of Florida.
And there's a big part of me
that thinks I should move down there now and be with her,
you know, while she's still able to take care of me.
(audience laughing)
Are they helping you walk?
Do you get out of bed or what?
- [Ida] No, we haven't done anything yet really.
- Okay.
Okay, so everything's okay.
So I'll just see you next week.
- [Ida] Wonderful.
Just be careful, take care of yourself,
and life goes on, all right?!
- Okay.
And so how are you doing?
- [Ida] That's it, Alan.
(laughing)
- First, I feel sad that she's older
and she's gonna die soon.
And then of course, I also wonder is she gonna die soon?
Well, I have a joke in my act that I say
I wonder how old am I gonna be when my mother dies
and I mean like how much longer is she gonna live?
How old am I gonna be?
I'm not religious.
I don't believe in the afterlife,
but I would like just a little after my mother's life.
Yeah, so, I wonder.
They say it's a blessing your mother is 92 and still alive.
It's a blessing.
But how much older is she gonna get?
At what point, does it become a curse, you know?
Right? (laughing)
Clearly if she's gonna live to 110,
we're in cursed territory, right?
110 is cursed territory.
Is 100 cursed territory?
You know, for some people,
again, if she was a genius physicist
that's obsessed with the world,
or a genius chemist, or a genius something,
that had her own life and interests,
let her live to 200, fine.
But if she's gonna be "Alan!" at 110,
fuck that, I can't take it.
We're getting into cursed territory.
I think I'm in cursed territory actually.
Alan, my son, I love you so much.
You're my life, Alan, my entire life.
You're my reason for living, Alan.
Yes, my entire reason for living.
My life is you, you, you, you, you.
It's all you, Alan.
It's only been about you,
only about you.
Everything for you.
(audience laughing)
Everything for you.
I love you, Alan.
I love (hissing) Alan!
My life Alan!
(hissing) (audience laughing)
(sweeping orchestral music)
It's hard for people like me.
My whole life, it's been hard to get work as a comedian
because you can't venture out,
and grow, and become a unique person,
because they won't have you back
if you get half the crowd loving you
and half the crowd hating you.
They just won't.
So, comedians may die.
I may be more alternative even than the alternatives,
you know?
I have the feeling there's no place for me.
I did have a brief flash for like one second.
Like I decided like to try to look up a little.
For a flash of a second,
for the first time in my life,
I thought maybe you could enjoy this moment.
It was the most briefest flash
and I remember thinking wow,
you're actually thinking a positive thought,
and I've never had thoughts like that ever.
I remember thinking well,
why don't you just take this in for a second, you know?
And then I went right back to worrying.
(sweeping orchestral music)
(thunder rumbling)
You're not in the crowd.
(audience laughing)
(soft piano music)
- [Joshua] So, tell me what's it been like
having Al at your house for the past week?
- First of all, it was a surprise. (laughing)
- I enjoyed having Al here at the house
because he's a contemporary
and it was sort of fun to get to know somebody
who's my age bracket,
brought up with my music,
and he's one of my favorite comedians,
so I was a little bit awe struck having him around the house
and knowing that he was sitting right across from me.
But at the same time, it's a little sad
because here's somebody that I feel is so bright
and talented,
and yet, he's staying at my house.
- I'm staying at your place, your parent's house,
and wearing a shirt and your shorts.
And you didn't give me socks, I don't think.
Was there a reason for that or? (laughing)
You gave me underwear though.
You know, I didn't tell you guys this
but I performed all week without underwear.
(laughing)
I forgot to bring underwear with me.
When I left Atlantic City,
I realized I had one pair all along.
So I had no underwear, right?
And I think what I've done is lost.
I thought I'd lost weight, but I really hadn't.
Oh, I have a shorts I wear.
I wore it on my plane, like gym shorts,
which are not cleaned very often.
I don't clean 'em.
That's another childish thing.
People clean their clothes, right?
I don't clean it often enough.
But the knot for tightening the underwear
is too hard for me to get out.
- [Cathy] Mm-hmm.
- I don't know how to get it out, it's hard.
- [Cathy] Right.
- And it's sat at a level which is too loose for me.
(laughing)
So when I got off the plane,
my friend Bob's waiting for me.
I didn't realize my shorts are below,
like my ass is showing, but I have no underwear.
So I'm walking off the plane with a bare ass. (laughing)
- It's the plumber!
It was clear that Al was not just the comedian
who you see on stage,
but that stage continues on into his life.
He's the same person.
There really was no break.
How long do you want to live?
- I don't know.
Well, ideally, for a guy like me,
300 years would be perfect
'cause like I procrastinate, you know?
- You need time to catch up.
- Yeah.
That's the problem.
I haven't done much.
I've avoided life. - Mm-hmm.
- And now I see what's happened.
I've gotten really old and my body's falling apart.
- Hm, that sucks. - So, I know.
(laughing)
So,
I've always been like the guy
that studied at the last minute for the test,
and so I feel like life,
I'm doing life like that.
- Al, I'm amazed how similar we are.
The virtue of Al is the fact
that when one starts a conversation with him,
one begins to see the reflection of themselves in him.
And his humor is the kind of thing
where these are thoughts that are deeply hidden
within, in my opinion, most people.
And when you're facing this person
who is a caricature of things
that you've thought about in your life,
about how lazy you are, how frightened you are,
how you don't want to do things that are good for you,
and yet, you still want the results of not doing it
yet having something good happen in your life.
And when you stare at that in the eye,
the virtue of Al is that you're looking at yourself.
- So I got to the point sometimes I'd wake up
at 7:00 in the evening, 8:00 at night,
just to practice.
Like I'd go to bed, 2:00 in the morning.
Like I'd wake up 8:00 in the morning, go back to bed,
wake up at 9:00 in the morning, go back to bed.
I did this once until 8:00 in the evening.
And I remember lying in that bed,
a very comfortable bed, Tempur-Pedic.
And I remember like I got scared once
'cause I actually felt I was sinking into the bed
like sinking into death.
I wasn't going to clubs to try out material.
Didn't care about any new joke, didn't care about growing.
I wanted to stay like this little hibernating child
that still did exercise
'cause I had a little narcissism.
I wanted to look decent and I didn't want to die.
I wanted to stay a child that wouldn't die.
- [Cathy] That's pretty good.
I mean, children typically don't die, right,
so that's kinda logical. - That's my theory, yeah.
- [Cathy] So you're using pragmatic thinking, right?
- Yeah, it is.
But I wasn't growing.
I had an opportunity to grow.
I had money.
And so instead of saying I have money now.
Now, I can do what I want.
Well, it turns out all I wanted was to do nothing.
- I chose a path to be a professional
so that I could have the lifestyle
that I knew I wanted to have in my lifetime
and be able to have and support a family.
Al can't make those decisions.
His decisions are made for him
because he's not financially successful.
- It's just incredible stress having no money.
Your options are dwindled, you know?
And then there was bigger stress
when I worried about that shuttle coming.
You know, most people with money say
I'll just take a fucking cab.
I don't have the money to take a cab.
If I take a cab, I can't check my bag.
If I can't check my bag on the plane,
I can't take the plane, you know?
It's like when you have virtually zero dollars,
it's wild stress.
I don't know how much longer I can take that stress.
- [Joshua] Have you thought about getting
like a menial job?
- No.
- He said I like to get people to do things for me.
And what I do when people talk to me is listen to them.
And so I have a tendency to believe what people say.
And so I therefore took that information
and did what I was willing to do,
but made him do what I felt like was his responsibility.
- But I think I exude a need for help.
And even unconsciously,
I think people can sense I need help.
And certain people are helpful and will do it
and other people won't.
And I resent the people that don't help
because the child in me wants to be helped.
And who are you not to help me?
I'm special, help me.
On the other hand, there's a part of me
that's grateful for someone not helping me
'cause they're helping me grow up.
They're providing the discipline I didn't get.
- I felt that he made himself at home here.
He was quiet.
He slept a lot.
He didn't make any difficult demands.
In fact, much less than most.
So, no, he was a wonderful guest
and he's welcome back here any time for a night.
(laughing)
- There are many feelings about seeing my mother.
Well, not that strong
because I've seen her the last two days.
You're right.
It maybe would have been better, I think,
had you captured me at the first moment seeing her,
you know?
But also I felt bad and looking back at it,
part of me didn't want to do that.
I didn't want to over shock her.
It's like not only is she seeing me for the first time.
She doesn't know I'm coming over.
And plus, there's cameras with me.
That could have killed her right there.
And then what are my feelings then?
That she died from the shock of it.
Did part of me want her to be shocked like that and die?
I don't know.
- [Joshua] No, because you didn't have us come.
- Right, I didn't, yeah.
- [Joshua] Did you have feelings before seeing her?
- Yes.
- [Joshua] What were those?
- Well, before I first saw her?
Yeah, I mean like,
'cause I know it's been a year.
That's been one of the longest times
I've gone without seeing her.
I was scared just to see how much she aged.
I was frightened 'cause I know a year's gone by,
and especially when you're that old,
how much has she aged?
I didn't want her to look really bad
'cause she's my mother.
I don't want to see her super, super old.
She is old, but she doesn't look that bad.
You know, she looks worse now, I must say.
- We laugh a lot.
Our memories, we remember a lot.
And we get along, I think, very well.
- [Al] What do you mean, the story of your life?
- Well, because we were very close, weren't we?
Always together.
- [Al] Too much.
- Too much?
- [Al] You didn't give me enough separation I think,
you know?
- Oh, it happens.
- [Al] I was a mama's boy.
- Yeah.
- [Al] So I have this ambivalence,
you know, as a huge ambivalence.
I really don't want my mother to die.
She's a real character.
I really do love her in some ways, you know.
Not in the way of like a person that raised me correctly
and gave me a decent chance in life,
I don't love her that way.
I don't love her as like a good parent, you know?
In some ways, she was good
'cause she gave me a lot of attention,
but she would do anything for me
except let me be separate 'cause she's mentally ill.
So I've been damaged goods my whole life.
So I have a lot of anger at her
'cause yeah, she's my mother,
but she is my bad mother.
She fucked up.
The one job for her to do was to be a parent
and she didn't do it.
She fucked it up.
If there was parenting class, she would have failed.
She would have failed parenting class.
There should be parenting class, but she would have failed.
And is it a surprise I'm a failure?
I'm the product of her,
so I'm a failure because I was raised by a person
that would fail parenting class.
- Well, you're making a living.
- [Al] I did perform last night.
- In other words,
you do have money from what you're doing currently,
but you don't have savings so to speak.
Well, it's important to have savings.
Something comes up and you need, you know.
Do I have anything left that I could give you?
- [Al] No.
- That's no good. - I know.
Can you like go and work or something?
- That was my next thing.
I think I have to go look for a job.
- Right.
My mother would say, "You're the best.
"You're going straight to the top."
You know, so,
no one ever said it's gonna be easy.
Yes, they did.
My mother did.
You don't complain to me too much
about me being a comedian anymore.
You don't complain.
Do you know what I used to do
and you always wanted me to go back to that?
Oh, that's why you don't complain.
You forgot.
You forgot what I was.
Do you know I'm a comedian?
- That, I know.
- Do you know what I did before this?
- No--
- Do you know what I went to school for?
- No.
- You forgot?
No, I thought it was just you gave up on complaining.
You just forgot.
- It's true.
- I had a job before I was a comedian.
- That's true. - You forgot?
- Tell me.
- Take a guess.
- I have none.
- Was I a doctor?
- No.
- Was I a?
What are the two things, doctor and?
Jewish parents want their kid to be a doctor or a?
- I like that.
Excellent.
(laughing)
That's a good one.
- What do Jewish parents want their kids to be?
I want you to be either a doctor or a?
- Dentist.
(laughing)
- This is like the senility quiz show.
(laughing)
And people would always warn her.
Linda, you're overprotecting him.
It's not healthy for him.
This is not good for him.
You should make him do it himself.
When he grows up, it's gonna be bad on him.
It's not right.
I know, I know, she'd say, I know.
And then she'd give in anyway.
She'd say, "My therapist, Alan,
"said I shouldn't be giving you baths.
"You're 12 years old.
"I shouldn't be giving them to you."
I go, "Give me another bath!"
Okay, Alan, but I shouldn't be doing this.
I swear to you, I remember this.
I remember being 12 years old,
home from school for lunch,
and in the bathroom,
and screaming to my mother, "Wipe me, wipe me!"
I was 12.
And she'd go, "Alan, this has gotta stop already."
Just one more time, mommy.
Alan, you're 12 years old.
The other boys aren't having their parents wipe them.
Just one more time, mommy.
She did this till I was 12 years old.
It may be longer, I might be repressing it.
But I remember till 12 'cause I remember that.
I think I stopped it at 12
because I had my bar mitzvah coming up
and I think I felt embarrassed
that I was gonna be a man pretty soon.
I don't remember who flushed.
(audience laughing)
I'm guessing it was her.
I doubt I'd get her to wipe me
and be like, "Oh, I got that."
(audience laughing)
I was always afraid of people dying all the time,
her dying, the father dying,
and I think the reason was 'cause I felt so helpless.
You guys raised me in a helpless,
I was so dependent wildly.
I felt no sense of self.
If you guys are dead, I'm died,
because if you're still attached
by an umbilical cord to someone,
if you really get everything from that cord,
it's still working,
if the person you're attached to dies, you die.
And now looking back on it,
that's my explanation why I was so terrified
because kids on an instinctual level
know how they should be raised.
- How?
- And maybe instinctually I knew something was wrong.
And plus, I could see my neighbors,
that I wasn't like them.
And I could feel something was wrong.
No offense.
I'm not trying to attack you.
I'm just trying to tell you what I feel.
- I agree, I agree.
- So you do agree something was wrong?
- No.
I didn't mean it that way.
I meant that's what you felt.
(laughing)
- You're a great witness. - Huh?
- You'd be a great witness in a court case.
It's like you're hedging.
You know, I agree, but-- - Both ways.
(laughing)
I know what I'm doing.
- See, I feel bad.
I could keep questioning you
and try to get you to agree with me,
but I don't want to like badger you.
- Nah, you don't have to.
- I sense she can only take so much, you know?
So I think it's hopeless, you know.
She's not capable, I think, of working things out with me.
- He blames everybody for other things,
for things that maybe he didn't do because of them.
Maybe my mother was too strict
or maybe my mother was too possessive
and didn't let me grow up.
Maybe that's what it is.
They didn't let me flourish, they didn't let me grow.
And I say to him not true.
People can do it.
Look at people that didn't have parents.
They've been very successful.
Look at people who really overcame terrible obstacles
like Oprah Winfrey.
And these other people really became so famous
and had a terrible upbringing.
You did not have a terrible upbringing.
They were never abusive.
- Yeah, but you told me they wouldn't let me lift anything.
That's abusive.
- To you, that's abusive, but they were always there.
- That's another problem.
- But you also made it that way.
- How?
- 'Cause you were very demanding.
- I thought you-- - I want food now.
- Right.
- Not waiting, I want it.
And they would run and get it.
- I remember lying in bed as a kid going,
"Mommy, mommy, bring me a tuna fish sandwich."
And she'd bring me a tuna fish sandwich in bed.
I'd look at it and go,
"I said I wanted it on rye toast!"
She'd go out, make it on rye toast,
bring it to me in bed in my room.
And looking back on it now,
I'm thinking like where was my father to stop this behavior?
Well, in fairness to my father, he was working.
He was providing for the family.
I mean, there was always food in the bed.
(audience laughing)
Of course, I didn't have a father there to stop them.
He was working nights, right? - He was working nights
and slept during the day. - Slept during the day.
And he wasn't there to create some male energy
and say enough of this shit.
- No. - You know?
Do it yourself.
- But you want to know something?
You can't blame everybody else.
You're still your own person.
- She'd always to me, "You're nothing but a spoiled brat."
But I was thinking if my mother never give in to me,
I could never become a brat, right?
You can't become a brat
if your parent doesn't give in to you.
So my mother is yelling at me
for being something that she created.
That's like walking up to somebody,
stabbing them in the chest,
and going you're such a victim.
(audience laughing)
At what age is it not my fault?
How young do we get?
She goes at the age of three,
it was your fault from three on.
Can you believe that?
- Yes, I'm telling you.
- Three?
It's my fault at three?
- Because at three, you still know what you want.
You're still a person.
You can go and come and do as you please.
- You guys have a cult going.
Come on, you're gonna blame a three year old
or the adult parent?
- It's a little of both.
Sometimes, a child will take advantage of the situation
if they know they can get away with it.
- But they're three!
- I was always on top of things.
I was a pain in the neck.
That part is true.
Because I had to prevent, and take care,
and get in the middle of things,
and stop everything or whatever
because I don't think he cared enough to be aware!
- She was always so worried about me.
Alan, watch out, be careful!
Alan, Alan, watch out!
And I was reading this one article
about this one comedian,
a very funny guy.
He had his own sitcom on TV for a while,
but a very sad story.
Throughout his entire childhood,
his mother was in and out of mental hospitals.
But I gotta say that I had it way worse.
For my entire childhood,
my mother was out of mental hospitals.
(audience laughing)
- Am I right or wrong?
You just went out blundering like that
without being careful!
- Well, yeah.
- Yeah, so it made it double for me.
- But you know, you didn't let me think for myself.
I think you should have let me make mistakes
without telling me what to do.
- Probably, but I was afraid the mistakes would be hurtful
so I tried to avoid them,
so I avoided this and I avoided that,
and I really screwed you up.
But thank god you came out this way.
(laughing)
- I still see myself as a child.
I was so infantilized.
The first girlfriend I had,
she once said to me, "Your mother infantilized you."
She used the word infantilized.
I think I've been infantilized.
- Well, didn't you tell them how she used to say
life isn't worth living without you?
- Oh, sure.
- [Leslie] She wouldn't live without you, Alan.
Life is not worth living.
- I know, my mother, right? - Yeah.
- It's too much of a burden to put on a kid,
don't you think?
- Well, it's a bit strong.
- You're my life, Alan, my son,
my entire life.
You're my reason for living, Alan.
Yes, my entire reason for living.
My life is you, you, you, you, you.
It's all you, Alan.
It's only been about you, only about you.
Everything for you, everything for you.
I love you, Alan, I love you.
(hissing)
She loved me, but like an idiot, like a moron.
And I'm not so sure she loved me.
She loved me as an appendage to her.
She didn't really want me to become a separate person,
a separate, you know?
I remember one time, there was a girl I liked.
I took her to a show like 30 years ago in Tampa I was doing
and I met some girl at a club the night before,
and the issue was do I want to stay a night,
extra night to be with this girl
or go back with my mother to the East Coast.
And she asked me to go back with her.
So, how much does she love me
if she doesn't want me to stay with the girl?
Wouldn't a healthy mother say, "Stay with the girl.
"You just met this girl."
No, she wants me to stay with her.
That ain't a healthy love.
That's a sick love.
That's a selfish love on her part,
using be as a substitute for her husband.
I mean, I think that may be a reason
why I don't have a girlfriend,
this unconscious--
- I think you're too cheap. - Without you, I have--
- He's cheap.
- Without you, life is not worth living.
I was raised by a sycophant.
- [Leslie] But it was in good intentions.
- I don't know. - Just didn't know how.
- I'm not so sure about her good intentions.
Honestly, I think that maybe
she really wanted me for herself.
- No, because I'd hear constantly
if only he'd get married and give me grandchildren.
So she wants you to have a normal life, and a family,
and a wife, and children.
- Well, I'd like him to be married
so he'd have a pal, a friend.
Wouldn't it be nice if he also had children,
if he also had people around him and not be alone?
Well, that's normal thinking.
(audience laughing)
- Alan!
(audience laughing)
My life, Alan!
(audience laughing)
(Al hissing)
So, I'm single.
(audience laughing)
(upbeat music) (audience applauding)
- I was watching a tape (mumbles).
You're a good looking guy,
you're kinda cute.
- Oh really?
- I mean, not that, I don't mean that as a, you know.
- What do you mean exactly by kind of?
- No, you're handsome.
You're just handsome on TV, I thought.
- Really handsome, but not in person?
- In person also.
You look good.
- I look good, how good? - Very good.
- No, really.
Honestly, do you find yourself attracted to me?
- Yes, I do.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Sexually attractive? - Yeah, I do.
- We have a lot in common.
Anyway, the point is though--
(audience laughing)
I think there's a selfishness about her.
She's used me as the thing she loved.
She overdid it
and created this ambivalence I have
about having a girlfriend.
Not so much 'cause I'm cheating on my mother,
but there's a part of that.
I never had sex, but it was like an implied.
What is it called?
Implied incest or not overt,
but it's an emotional incest
that I never really fully connected with women
'cause I didn't want to ever give up
a relationship with mommy.
Sex with my mother?
She would have ruined that.
You're straining your back, Alan.
(audience laughing)
You're straining your back.
Relax.
Take it easy.
What are you trying to prove?
I'm your mother, damn it.
(audience laughing)
- [Marc] What is it, did you grow up at the Bates Hotel?
- [Al] Right.
Yeah, I think so.
The way I do my mother in my act,
people say it reminds them of that.
- [Marc] So you didn't jerk off till you were 20?
- [Al] Till I was 20.
- [Marc] I'm so sorry.
- [Al] Well, it's even worse than that.
A guy who turned out to be gay
convinced me to let him put his mouth on my penis.
- [Marc] Yeah.
- [Al] Years later, I always thought maybe I'm gay.
I let this guy do this 'cause he convinced me.
He said, "Al, if you're gonna play with yourself."
He was my best friend.
He was four years older than me.
- [Marc] Mm-hmm.
- [Al] And he goes just pull your pants down.
Start playing with yourself.
And I did it.
I couldn't do it 'cause I had never done it before
and I was scared.
So he said, "I'll put my hand on it."
And I was not an idiot.
I said, "What, are you gay?"
And he goes, "No," so I go, "Okay."
Okay.
So he puts his hand on it.
Still, nothing happened.
He was like I don't want to do this,
I don't want to do it but you obviously need stimulation.
What I'll do is I'll put my mouth on it.
And look, I'm not a moron.
Just admit to me you're gay.
If you admit you're gay,
I'm not gonna let you touch me.
But don't lie to me.
Just admit you're gay. - Yeah.
- He goes I'm not gay, so I go okay.
(Marc laughing)
But I do feel my mother made big mistakes.
I don't think she should have given in to me like that,
you know?
I don't think she should have served me food in bed,
and changed my TV channel for me to 17,
and wipe me, you know?
And sat outside Hebrew school class.
Giving in, giving in, giving in.
'Cause when you're a kid,
your parent represents the world to you.
And I got the feeling that the whole world
was gonna go incredibly out of their way for me.
You know?
So looking back on it, it makes sense.
Of course I ended up thinking
that a heterosexual guy would actually suck my dick.
(audience laughing)
- I do believe Alan has a good relationship with mother.
He cares about her greatly.
He worries about her.
He wants to make sure everything is done properly for her.
He calls me to find out if I'm in touch with everybody.
Is she okay, what do you think?
Is she taken care of proper?
So, he does care.
He loves her very much, he really does.
He does love his mother.
He might resent her a little bit,
but he loves her and he cares greatly.
Absolutely.
- Part of me is thinking move back here
because now is really coming to the end for my mother.
I think she has the beginning of congestive heart failure
and she's taking oxygen once in a while.
It really is getting to the end, I think.
And I feel I should be here for that.
I feel really bad about that.
I don't want her to die.
I really don't want her to die.
The best thing is,
and people have said this before about their mothers,
if they never die but you never have to see them.
You know?
I mean, that would be a great combination.
- My life should have been,
it should have ended long before then
between him and his father.
(laughing)
I really had a very tough life,
but I survived and it made me stronger,
let's put it that way.
♪ Happy time
♪ Happy night
♪ Happy day
♪ Here again
- Think peace, everybody.
Let's all think peace.
(audience applauding)
Thank you.
- But looking back on it for me,
I think my big weakness.
I was too fearful to be a good attorney,
too full of fear.
I remember one time, the prosecutor,
he said to the witness on the stand,
"Do you see the murderer here today in the court room?"
And I was really scared.
What if he picks me?
(audience laughing)
The death penalty is, as you know,
is legal in Florida, right?
You got the death penalty, right?
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- I don't understand the logic of it.
The major reason is, right,
an eye for an eye.
You killed someone, so we're gonna kill you,
which does sound logical,
but then how come they don't use the same reasoning
for other crimes?
Right, like,
if you're convicted of attempted murder,
how come they don't put you in an electric chair
that doesn't quite work?
(audience laughing)
But when I was thinking about the juvenile--
(people chattering)
What?
- [Female Speaker] J-K.
- Right.
They go what?
- [Male Speaker] J-K.
- What does J-K stand for?
- Just kidding. - Just kidding.
- Oh, that's right.
(audience laughing)
Is that like L-O-L?
L-O-L means lots of laughs, right?
Is that what that means?
But I don't understand your logic.
I can see what you're going for,
like but just kidding,
but it's not really.
If you really were kidding,
there was no intent to really commit murder.
You know, you know? (audience laughing)
You know what I'm saying?
For the crime of attempted murder,
you have to really intend to commit murder
and fail at it, right?
If you like zap someone and say just kidding,
you never intended to kill him.
So it really is not analogous
to the crime of attempted murder.
It's more, you know, what?
- [Female Speaker] They sentence you to murder.
- Yeah.
No one sentenced you to murder.
(audience laughing)
I'm sentencing you.
You're gonna have to kill somebody.
(audience laughing)
You did such a bad thing,
we're making you do it again.
You're sentenced to murder.
Right, I know what you're trying to say,
but I don't think it's a perfect.
I agree.
My thing was an electric chair which doesn't quite work
which is the same thing as you're saying,
so why say it?
(audience laughing)
Unless you're such a deep thinker.
You're like he made a joke,
I'll make an attempted joke.
(audience applauding)
- He made it back. - Al is here?
What happened?
- You know what happened? - What?
- I was following the wrong car
and I didn't know it
and I followed him right into the driveway.
They were terrified. (laughing)
They thought I was robbing them. (laughing)
Dan Shicklick, Dan Shickler.
- [Robert] Dan Shickler is a good basketball player.
Dan Shickler's very good on defense.
- Yeah, you know who Dan Shickler--
- [Robert] Dan Shickler is better than you.
- [Al] Bob thinks I'm not good.
- [Robert] You just shot.
You got the ball and you shot.
- [Al] People would tell me
I have a really good outside shot.
- [Robert] People, yeah.
You sound like Donald Trump.
The Mexicans tell me they love me.
- [Al] The Mexicans tell me I had a good outside shot.
- [Robert] All right, (mumbles).
(laughing)
- But anyway, my point is this.
Is in the final game,
in a big game, the playoff game we ended up losing.
We were playing that Gary Nunes team
and they had all really good players
that were all on the intramural team.
This was law school.
All these great players beating us,
but I choked.
I was afraid to take a shot in that game.
You took tons of shots and you weren't our best player.
Bob was taking shots all over the place
and missing constantly,
and you kept taking him.
But I was like in awe of your confidence,
that you kept trying.
This is a big game and you just kept trying,
and I am just the opposite.
I completely withdrew and was afraid to shoot.
And it got so bad.
We were way behind and Bob Sweeney,
I had the ball in my hand,
he said, "Shoot it!" (laughing)
Really angry.
And I never felt so small.
You know, I shot and missed, of course. (laughing)
I had so withdrawn.
So that just shows,
too afraid to take shots in a game that's already lost.
Just full of fear.
And you're the opposite.
Missing shot after shot in a big game,
taking more shots.
And look what happens.
You got a big house, a family, a whole life,
and look at me.
It's predestined.
No offense, I'm not knocking for what you have.
- [Robert] No.
- But you have not been afraid to live life, I have.
- See, I see things very differently.
I hear what you're saying
and I agree with everything you say,
but when we would go out after comedy,
you, and Dan, and Steve Oderkirk,
you do the thing and then afterwards,
we'd go to Denny's.
And then I would say I dare you to get up
and do your routine right here.
And most people would say I don't know, you know?
Maybe I could, I don't know.
You just said, yeah, okay.
You just stood up and did your routine in a Denny's.
We'd go to a movie theater.
They had a problem with the reel
and the movie didn't start on time.
I'd say I dare you to get up in front of the movie theater.
You didn't miss a beat.
You'd just get up and start doing your routine.
And I remember once you started doing your routine,
the usher came over to you and said,
"Sir, you have to sit down.
"It's a movie theater.
"We can't have this."
And as soon as he came over to tell you to stop,
everybody started booing the usher.
Said, "Let him continue, let him continue."
And you won over a movie audience.
They weren't even there to see you.
We stopped off at the Grand Canyon.
We took a donkey ride.
It goes like zigzag along trails
down the face of the canyon.
And it's a little bit dangerous.
If the donkey fell off, you'd go down hundreds of feet.
But on the other hand,
these donkeys go up and down once or twice a day
for 20 or 30 years.
That's their life, so you know,
I've never heard of any donkeys falling in.
- I went to the Grand Canyon.
I can't believe I took this risk.
I was terrified.
I should have never gone.
The donkey ride thing?
- We're going down in a group of like 20 people.
There's little kids, there's old people,
there was some cute girls there,
and we're going down.
And he gets up there
trying to pretend like he's a macho and everything.
He's on the donkey behind me.
And we're slowly going down
and for the first 10, 15 minutes,
everything's good.
Looking out, this is a great time.
And then all of a sudden, I look back
and he's got this look on his face
like he's having a heart attack.
And as we're making the turn,
he goes (moaning).
- What's amazing is they put up no railings or fences,
nothing.
There are no railings or fences there
separating you and the donkey from falling into the canyon.
And my donkey is walking right on the edge.
I was just one little road donkey step from death.
(audience laughing)
- I said, "You all right, Al?"
And he's like (moaning).
I said, "What's wrong?"
And someone yelled out,
"There's something wrong with this man over here!"
- I can't believe I'm trusting my life to him.
I'm riding the donkey down the canyon
and all I can think is who's the jackass?
(audience laughing)
- The leader of the group says,
"Everything okay back here?"
- I said to the tour guide, "I'm really scared."
You know what he says to me?
Don't worry about it.
No donkey has ever fallen in before into the canyon.
I said, "Well, that would relax me
"if I was headed into the past,
"but I'm headed to the future
"where there's no record of what donkeys do."
(audience laughing)
- Al, what's wrong?
He said, "I'm watching the donkeys as they make the turn,
"and I just realized that the donkeys have four legs
"but they can't see their own feet!
"And every time they make a turn,
"they're not looking at the ground,
"so they're gonna have a misstep."
- I said to the tour guide, "I changed my mind.
"Let me get off."
He's not answering me.
I go, "Please, please, I didn't give this enough thought.
"I didn't think it through.
"I want to get off."
He turns around, he looks at me,
and he goes, "Do I look deaf?"
- All I did was laugh the whole trip down
and everybody in the whole group was laughing.
And this poor leader of the group,
he didn't know what to do
because he's scared that he's gonna have a heart attack.
He doesn't know whether he's serious or not.
- And the thought occurred to me,
who looks deaf?
(audience laughing)
And even if you're talking in sign,
that doesn't mean you're deaf.
You could be talking to somebody who is deaf.
I mean, who looks deaf
except maybe someone walking backwards
into a running chainsaw?
(audience laughing)
- To tell you the truth,
I think he was serious,
but he was just so panicky.
He over analyzed the fact
that the donkeys couldn't see his legs and I don't know.
- Well, I noticed for the past five minutes,
I've been screaming for my life at you
and you didn't answer me.
Do I sound mute?
(audience laughing)
- So he asked him, okay,
you will have a successful career.
All you gotta do is take that donkey ride one more time.
He wouldn't do it.
He says no 'cause I can't figure out
how a donkey can see his legs.
It doesn't make sense to me
that he's not gonna slip every so often.
So that's it, that's it.
That's Al Lubel in a nutshell to me.
Do you still do your Jimmy Stewart?
It always got a big laugh.
That was my favorite joke.
- It's funnier if you see it, but I mean...
I say I'm not good at impressions,
but I'd like to try one right now.
My impression of Jimmy Stewart.
My impression of the late great actor Jimmy Stewart,
Jimmy Stewart.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Yeah.
(speaking in foreign language)
Listen.
(speaking in foreign language)
This is Jimmy Stewart--
(speaking in foreign language)
This is Jimmy Stewart, the actor.
(speaking in foreign language)
- For like a minute.
And then I pause.
I go, "I told you I can't do impressions."
- He makes people think.
You know, he gets to the core of issues
in a very honest way.
He's not afraid to share the deepest
most intimate parts of his self
in a really honest way.
How many comedians,
how many people do that?
And I think he's incredibly successful.
He's changed my life
for the better.
Yeah.
You know, when I said before
I was waiting for him to be successful,
I mean in a commercial sense.
To me, he's already a successful comedian.
It's just when's the world
or when's the necessary producer gonna see who he is
and what he has to offer?
I'm sure it'll happen.
I just hope it happens sooner rather than later
because he's got a lot to offer.
- Well, getting work in the business and doing thing
has nothing to do necessarily
with how great a comedian you are.
Sometimes I'm feeling a hopeless feeling,
I could become greater and greater
and it won't mean anything
in terms of getting other work in showbiz, you know?
But I just really like comedy
and I want to keep getting better at it.
But yeah, am I resentful
that I feel I've become a very good comedian
and have very little to show for it?
I am angry about it,
but I don't know if it's unfair
'cause I don't think life owes you.
Life is what it is, you know?
I mean, Van Gogh created all these great things.
No one appreciated it.
That's what it was.
You can't force people to appreciate things in their time.
They just didn't.
- [Joshua] Life tells you you have to do this
and you have to do this and you say why?
- Well, your mother made that point to me actually.
I said I'm not ambitious or I have no guts.
And she said no, no, you have guts.
You've defied society.
I mean, you're not doing what everyone says,
have a regular job and da, da, da.
You're going your own way.
But I like to try to be me as much as...
The only enjoyment I get is from being me.
What is that Sammy Davis Jr., "I've Gotta Be Me,"
that Sammy Davis Jr. song?
I like singing that,
I like singing that song actually.
(uplifting pop music)
♪ Whether I'm right
♪ Or whether I'm wrong
♪ Whether I find a place in this world or never belong ♪
♪ I gotta be me
♪ What else can I be but what I am ♪
♪ I want to live
♪ Not merely survive
♪ And I won't give up this dream of life that keeps me alive ♪
♪ I gotta be me
♪ The dream that I see makes me what I am ♪
It's the epilogue.
This is the epilogue.
Sad it's the epilogue.
It's sad, the endings are sad.
But I could think of it as like the prologue
to the rest of my life.
So this is another prologue, isn't it? (laughing)
I'm doing the Edinburgh Festival at the beginning of August
for the whole month of August.
And most people go in and do totally new shows.
I'm gonna do a lot of the stuff I've done before,
but like a few new things.
But I don't have the money for a room to live in Edinburgh
and you really can't go there unless you have a room.
So I will get the money.
I have to drive like crazy for Lyft.
Driving Lyft has lessened my anxiety
because it has made me realize if I work,
I can eat.
And I have an actual chance to work, you know?
I mean, I got off food stamps.
I don't know if I mentioned that on here
that I was on food stamps for a while.
I was on welfare for a while.
I got off all that.
And I can actually work and eat.
Now, my friend once had a very good statement.
He said, "Right now, you hate yourself,
"but if you have a job,
"you'll hate your job instead of yourself,"
and it's a great point.
With driving Lyft,
I really do hate it in a lot of ways.
It's exhausting, tiring.
I'm just driving all over the city constantly, traffic.
But I don't know if it's true
you hate your job instead of yourself
'cause I've never hated myself that much.
You know, this is at least paying my bills,
my car insurance, my phone bill,
storage, food, whatever, you know.
But it's nice Gail's letting me stay here
without paying rent
although I let Gail use my car,
so you're getting something.
But the point is if I had to pay rent, my god.
I don't know how people pay rent.
So living in a foreign country,
I don't have these people helping me,
and I need that,
because I will grow up more if I'm forced into it.
If you want to be a comedian,
someone said it well recently.
You know, L.A.'s not the place to be a comedian.
It's a place to try to become a star.
And I'm kind of ambivalent about that
or at least I'm lazy enough
that I don't want to do all the work
that it takes to become famous.
And just fame for fame's sake is bullshit to me.
I'd like to keep getting better as a comedian.
I really don't care about.
As a kid, I cared about fame,
but I don't care about fame.
I should maybe 'cause having some money is a great thing
and takes a lot of stress off,
but again, I'm not that disciplined to work hard enough
to achieve that.
But in England at least,
I could keep getting better as a comedian
and I feel good about that.
Thank you for coming tonight.
I'm gonna be going to Edinburgh, Scotland,
if I don't die before then.
(audience applauding)
Thank you.
So, preparing for that and doing the singing thing.
And then I wanted to say that I hope this show continues,
I hope to be funny.
I mean, as you can tell,
I've been funny in the past,
and of course, I've also not been funny in the past.
(audience laughing faintly)
And as you can tell,
I've also not been funny in the present.
(audience laughing)
One comedian, I won't mention his name.
I hope he doesn't watch this and realize it was him.
I don't want to insult him and I won't say his name,
but he said this to me,
I was 43 years old at the time.
He's a funny comedian.
He said this to me at a bar, a comedy.
If you had to do it again, would you still do it?
Which is essentially saying you've failed.
I mean, who asks that question?
Would you tell that to Seinfeld?
Would you say, "If you had to do it all again,
"would you do it?"
No.
So he's essentially saying you failed
and I never saw myself as a failure
because I saw myself as kind of emotionally retarded
and that if I kept trying,
I would keep getting better, and better, and better,
which was the case for me.
A lot of people develop a great act early
and they're just great.
It took me years to slowly, slowly get better
'cause I was resisting getting better.
I mean, I wanted to get better
but I was afraid to get better.
I was ambivalent.
So I didn't see myself as a failure at 43.
I saw myself as achieving the fact that I never grew up.
I saw myself achieving the fact
that I didn't have to be a lawyer and I'm surviving at 43.
So when he asked me that,
I was offended by that question,
but I did answer and I said yeah, I would do it again,
and I really would.
Hey, if I had to do it over again,
I'd do it better.
I'd love to do it better, and work harder,
and stuff like that,
and not be so afraid,
but I would have done it again.
I would have still quit law and tried.
And I'm still glad I did what I did.
At least this way, I'm proud of the act I created.
I'm actually proud of myself.
It's not easy to create what I've created
against what people want.
I mean, I'm fighting the audience every fucking way.
They fight me every way.
And when I'm so proud when I find that little twist
that makes them still laugh even though they didn't want to.
And I'm proud at the end of shows
when people come up to me and go I didn't want to laugh,
I really didn't,
and then you got me really laughing.
That's what I want to hear.
I don't want easy jokes, you know?
Quick, easy.
I can't stand being normal.
I want to be me.
So I have managed to craft an act where I'm me
and I'm entertaining on my terms.
And that, I'm happy for.
(static crackling)
Right now, I would like to sing you song about myself.
♪ How you doing?
♪ My name's Al Lubel
(record scratching)
You know what else I worry about?
Like you're listed as the writer of the documentary.
Is the implication that everything I've said,
you've written?
- No, I don't think you write,
documentaries don't say writer.
- It doesn't say writer?
'Cause I think,
but in the contract, you say you're the writer,
the producer, the director of the documentary.
You get a writing credit in the documentary.
That's the one thing I was gonna ask you about.
- I'll specify all...
I mean, nobody thinks I wrote anything that you say.
- No, but that's what you're implying,
they've written everything.
- [Joshua] I don't think anyone's
gonna think I wrote your material.
I'm doing a documentary on a comedian.
- It's just I'm gonna think it.
I'm gonna worry that perhaps you did write it.
(laughing)
Maybe I've been kidding myself all this time.
No, but I mean, I don't know,
like you said,
if there is no such thing as a writer of a documentary,
that should be taken out.
- [Joshua] The editor, the editor is--
- Then that should be taken out of the contract,
the words writer of the documentary.
♪ I have blood
♪ Vessels
♪ When I make toast
♪ I use bread
♪ Whenever I go out on a first date ♪
♪ I always ask the girl
♪ Where she's from
♪ Originally
♪ And then she tells me
♪ And I say
♪ Oh
♪ Whenever I play basketball
♪ The veins in my ankles start to bulge out ♪
♪ And I'm always scared
♪ I'm always scared that they're gonna break ♪
♪ But they never do
♪ Lucky me
♪ Sometimes, sometimes I get severe chest pain ♪
♪ And I think I'm having a heart attack ♪
♪ But then I burp and I'm okay
♪ I'm really embarrassed to admit ♪
♪ That I'm a sexual human being ♪
♪ 'Cause every time
♪ Every time I'm french kissing with a girl ♪
♪ I keep thinking if she disappeared ♪
♪ I'd look like Mick Jagger
♪ Whoa, whoa
♪ I'm Al Lubel, I'm Al Lubel
♪ I'm really glad my first name's Al ♪
♪ And not Lou
♪ 'Cause then my name would be Lou Lubel ♪
♪ And that would be so depressing ♪
♪ Whoa, arms, and legs, and hair ♪
♪ That's what I have
♪ Arms, and legs, and hair
♪ I don't like to brag
♪ No, no, arms, and legs, and hair ♪
♪ Whoa, that's me
♪ I'm Al Lubel
♪ Whoa, arms, and legs, and hair ♪
♪ Whoa, that's me
♪ Who am I?
♪ Al Lubel
♪ Whoa, arms, and legs, and hair ♪
♪ That's me
♪ Lubel