1 00:00:01,132 --> 00:00:04,376 Good evening. This is MayKay Bueller reporting live 2 00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:06,678 from outside the Greenpoint Mall, 3 00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:09,247 where hours from now it's gonna be exploded 4 00:00:09,349 --> 00:00:12,050 into itty-bitty smithereens. 5 00:00:12,152 --> 00:00:13,718 Oooweee. 6 00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:17,956 Built way back in, oooweee, 1994, 7 00:00:18,058 --> 00:00:20,525 the mall's design boasted state-of-the-art 8 00:00:20,627 --> 00:00:22,293 triangles and squiggles. 9 00:00:22,395 --> 00:00:23,928 Oooweee. 10 00:00:24,030 --> 00:00:27,565 But it lost its mojo thanks to changing consumer habits 11 00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:31,002 and countless dressing room camera scandals. 12 00:00:31,104 --> 00:00:33,838 It finally closed in 2010. 13 00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:38,443 Mayor Webb, are you all set for the big demolition? 14 00:00:38,545 --> 00:00:40,385 You're just gonna get your mouth right up there 15 00:00:40,409 --> 00:00:43,315 - on that squishy bulb. - We sure are. 16 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:45,750 This town loves a big explosion, 17 00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:47,919 especially around Halloween. 18 00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:50,755 Don't we, gang? 19 00:00:54,027 --> 00:00:55,460 I really wish they wouldn't do this. 20 00:00:55,562 --> 00:00:58,797 Oh, me neither. This mall was all our whorlds. 21 00:00:58,899 --> 00:01:01,432 No, I mean them. Why are they sneaking in? 22 00:01:01,535 --> 00:01:03,335 Wayne, we're not sneaking in. They invited us. 23 00:01:03,359 --> 00:01:06,171 They're having a final mall walk for superfans of the mall. 24 00:01:06,273 --> 00:01:08,707 And this whole place is a perfectly preserved 25 00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:12,143 time capsule of America's most glorious disaster: 26 00:01:12,245 --> 00:01:14,379 The early 2000s. 27 00:01:14,481 --> 00:01:16,648 An era of fashion that was the most accessorized 28 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,883 but also, somehow, the least attractive 29 00:01:18,985 --> 00:01:20,385 I know there will be something perfect 30 00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:21,553 for my Halloween costume in there. 31 00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:22,921 What is your Halloween costume? 32 00:01:23,023 --> 00:01:26,357 Violet, I don't choose the costume. The costume chooses me. 33 00:01:26,459 --> 00:01:28,526 Jenny, that flier doesn't make any sense. 34 00:01:28,628 --> 00:01:30,395 If they're having an event here, 35 00:01:30,497 --> 00:01:32,664 why does everything say "Danger, Stay Out"? 36 00:01:32,766 --> 00:01:35,567 If it said "Come On In," I wouldn't want to go. 37 00:01:35,669 --> 00:01:39,971 - Ooh, secret entrance. - Entrances should never be secret. 38 00:01:42,075 --> 00:01:45,543 Oh, neat! Rats. I do not feel good about this. 39 00:01:45,645 --> 00:01:48,179 That's odd, 'cause I've never felt better about 40 00:01:48,281 --> 00:01:50,081 anything in my life. 41 00:02:20,286 --> 00:02:23,364 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 42 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,792 - Yah! - Chaboogity boogity! 43 00:02:39,149 --> 00:02:42,150 Wayne, I know that Mom screaming "Chaboogity boogity" 44 00:02:42,252 --> 00:02:45,119 was way out of line, but also, you need to chill. 45 00:02:45,221 --> 00:02:46,921 - It's the mannequins. - What? 46 00:02:47,023 --> 00:02:48,756 Wayne's afraid of mannequins. 47 00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:50,691 I'm just saying there are a million reasons 48 00:02:50,794 --> 00:02:53,135 not to go in here right now. Starting with 49 00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:55,430 - the fact that it's condemned. - It's mannequins. 50 00:02:55,532 --> 00:02:57,632 - And we're trespassing. - Totally mannequins. 51 00:02:57,734 --> 00:03:00,574 - And the ceiling is riddled with asbestos. - It's mannequins. Mannequins. 52 00:03:00,637 --> 00:03:03,838 - And it's wired with a million pounds of explosives. - Mannequins. Mannequins. 53 00:03:03,940 --> 00:03:05,373 - It's mannequins. - Okay, fine! 54 00:03:05,475 --> 00:03:07,842 Like every right-thinking person in America, 55 00:03:07,944 --> 00:03:09,710 I am wary of mannequins. 56 00:03:09,813 --> 00:03:12,680 What are they? Are they alive or dead? 57 00:03:12,782 --> 00:03:14,816 No one knows! But what we do know is that 58 00:03:14,918 --> 00:03:18,653 they are extremely susceptible to being inhabited by spirits. 59 00:03:18,755 --> 00:03:21,055 We all saw the movie "Mannequin." 60 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,357 I mean, that idea doesn't come from nowhere. 61 00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:26,294 Oh, God. No... Oh, there's another one! 62 00:03:26,396 --> 00:03:28,463 They're teaming up. One just touched my butt. 63 00:03:28,565 --> 00:03:30,231 Get 'em off me. Please, God! 64 00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,900 Good Lord. 65 00:03:33,002 --> 00:03:35,837 Oh, my God, it clawed its way into my shirt! 66 00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:38,072 Why isn't anyone helping me? 67 00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,274 'Cause you're in zero danger? 68 00:03:40,376 --> 00:03:42,343 Oh, come on, guys, everyone has phobias. 69 00:03:42,445 --> 00:03:46,013 Don't make fun of Wayne's. Here, Wayne, I got you. 70 00:03:50,253 --> 00:03:53,020 Come on, let's walk down this memory lane. 71 00:03:55,758 --> 00:03:59,961 - Violet Elizabeth, look. - Oh, my God. 72 00:04:00,063 --> 00:04:02,864 - It's retail Indiana Jones. - Peanut Shack. 73 00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:05,032 Radio Shack. Popcorn Barn. 74 00:04:05,135 --> 00:04:06,834 - Record Barn. - Dress Barn. 75 00:04:06,936 --> 00:04:08,069 Hickory Farms. 76 00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:10,138 Oh, I just love that they're calling it out... 77 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,441 that basically humans are just all consumer chattel. 78 00:04:13,543 --> 00:04:15,443 Rainforest Café? 79 00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:18,779 You kids are lucky if you get to see a Rainforest Café. 80 00:04:18,882 --> 00:04:21,883 Sadly, these very important restaurants are disappearing 81 00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:25,086 - before our very eyes. - It's a tragedy what's happening 82 00:04:25,188 --> 00:04:27,221 to the Rainforest Cafés, y'all. 83 00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:32,493 - Oh... mall... God. - Stunned silence. 84 00:04:32,595 --> 00:04:34,495 Explain to me what I'm seeing right now 85 00:04:34,597 --> 00:04:37,299 - before I pass out. - Oh, yeah. Your mom never told you? 86 00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:39,300 She was the face of Greenpoint Mall. 87 00:04:39,402 --> 00:04:41,469 Got discovered by a famous photographer. 88 00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:43,070 God, we were so cool. 89 00:04:43,173 --> 00:04:45,740 ♪ Oh... ♪ 90 00:04:45,842 --> 00:04:47,675 Whasssuup? 91 00:04:47,777 --> 00:04:49,177 Whasssuup?! 92 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,180 Young ladies, the samples are only for paying customers. 93 00:04:52,282 --> 00:04:54,415 I'd like to see you try to get it off my face 94 00:04:54,517 --> 00:04:56,784 and back into that tube, beeyach. 95 00:04:56,886 --> 00:05:00,254 - Do it. Do it! - We're young and hot. Deal with it. 96 00:05:03,092 --> 00:05:05,092 I'm only getting pennies down here. 97 00:05:05,195 --> 00:05:06,445 There's no way we'll be able 98 00:05:06,446 --> 00:05:09,263 to afford an albino snake with this BS. 99 00:05:09,365 --> 00:05:11,266 All the big money's up top. Launch me! 100 00:05:11,518 --> 00:05:12,957 ♪ Fall out ♪ 101 00:05:13,025 --> 00:05:14,160 ♪ I like it when you, uh, uh ♪ 102 00:05:14,259 --> 00:05:16,657 ♪ Girl, baby, make it, uh, uh. ♪ 103 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,724 Wow. I'm looking for the right girl. 104 00:05:19,826 --> 00:05:21,559 I think I just found her. 105 00:05:21,661 --> 00:05:23,862 Wait, so some 40-year-old guy 106 00:05:23,863 --> 00:05:27,598 asked you to model for him, and you said yes? 107 00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,100 Violet, come on, now. 108 00:05:29,169 --> 00:05:31,169 If 40-year-old men stopped wanting to take pictures 109 00:05:31,271 --> 00:05:33,805 of 15-year-old girls, there wouldn't even be models. 110 00:05:33,907 --> 00:05:36,942 - Now, is that the world you want? - A hundred percent. 111 00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:38,209 Well, this guy wasn't creepy. 112 00:05:38,311 --> 00:05:40,011 He was legit. He had a business card. 113 00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:42,547 He had disco lights in his Humvee, a pinky ring... 114 00:05:42,649 --> 00:05:43,649 Okay, now I'm hearing it. 115 00:05:43,683 --> 00:05:45,583 Did he make you jump in every shot? 116 00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:47,552 He just liked when my volleyball skort flew up. 117 00:05:47,654 --> 00:05:50,488 - Oh, yeah, now I'm really hearing it now. - But it all worked out. 118 00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:54,058 I mean, girl, that picture is bangin'. 119 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,394 Here, let me get it for you. 120 00:05:56,496 --> 00:05:59,197 Aw, hell no. 121 00:05:59,232 --> 00:06:01,399 Someone donged it? No worries, girl. 122 00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:03,434 Here, there's more posters over there. 123 00:06:04,504 --> 00:06:06,838 Oh, damn, these are all donged up, too. 124 00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:09,173 This one's got devil horns made of dongs. 125 00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:10,842 This one's got a bouquet of dongs. 126 00:06:10,944 --> 00:06:13,544 This one, the water skis are dongs. 127 00:06:13,646 --> 00:06:16,380 I mean, I hate who did this, and I will kill them, 128 00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:19,050 but this is some really solid dong work. 129 00:06:19,152 --> 00:06:21,252 Who would do this? So rude. 130 00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:23,321 How would anyone deface the queen of the mall? 131 00:06:23,423 --> 00:06:25,023 I mean, I'm not bragging, I'm just saying 132 00:06:25,047 --> 00:06:26,791 have some respect for the office. 133 00:06:26,893 --> 00:06:28,653 Well, we've all had an experience here today. 134 00:06:28,728 --> 00:06:30,261 Great fun, a lot of lessons. 135 00:06:30,363 --> 00:06:33,165 Let's call it and head outside before we get blown up 136 00:06:33,166 --> 00:06:35,892 - or assaulted by a mannequin. - Wayne, we got to find 137 00:06:35,927 --> 00:06:39,504 - at least one dong-free picture of me. - Yep. And I'm here to get my loot on. 138 00:06:39,606 --> 00:06:42,106 Mother, you already looted this place the week it closed. 139 00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:44,041 Yeah, and I hid some stuff I couldn't carry. 140 00:06:44,144 --> 00:06:45,584 It's time for me to claim 141 00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:47,292 what is wrongfully mine. 142 00:06:47,316 --> 00:06:49,950 Violet, it's calling to me. 143 00:06:50,984 --> 00:06:52,150 Something's happening. 144 00:06:52,252 --> 00:06:55,419 The spirit of early 2000s teen drama characters 145 00:06:55,522 --> 00:06:59,524 - is washing over me. - Ooh, Dawson's Creek. 146 00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:01,959 Felicity. The O.C. 147 00:07:02,061 --> 00:07:03,461 The brooding, the drama, 148 00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,429 the almost unbearable teen angst. 149 00:07:05,532 --> 00:07:09,734 - Don't fight it, David. - I'm not David. 150 00:07:09,836 --> 00:07:12,003 I'm Joshua Hartnett Arquette, 151 00:07:12,105 --> 00:07:15,006 and it's 2002, and I'm the assistant manager 152 00:07:15,108 --> 00:07:17,642 at Wet Seal... and I have a secret. 153 00:07:17,744 --> 00:07:19,710 And I'm Britney Tree Hill. 154 00:07:19,812 --> 00:07:21,512 I work at Wet Seal, too. 155 00:07:21,614 --> 00:07:25,316 My dad owns this town, but he doesn't own me. 156 00:07:25,418 --> 00:07:28,352 Boy, y'all are dead set on not having a third friend, huh? 157 00:07:28,454 --> 00:07:31,489 Listen, Jenny, none of your mall friends showed up for this walk. 158 00:07:31,491 --> 00:07:33,291 Probably because it's a terrible idea 159 00:07:33,393 --> 00:07:35,593 - and this place is creepy as hell. - Hi. 160 00:07:37,697 --> 00:07:40,131 Are you guys here for the mall walk, too? 161 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:43,100 Yes. See, Wayne, other people are starting to come in. 162 00:07:43,203 --> 00:07:46,237 Hold the flip phone. Is that Jenny Hart, 163 00:07:46,339 --> 00:07:47,872 the face of the Greenpoint Mall? 164 00:07:47,974 --> 00:07:50,711 - And her intimidating friend Brenda? - You take that back. 165 00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:54,312 Brenda, down! Yes, it is me. 166 00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:55,734 I can't believe you recognized me. 167 00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,715 I mean, my face is everywhere, but still... 168 00:07:57,817 --> 00:08:00,017 Of course I recognize you. 169 00:08:00,119 --> 00:08:04,789 - Don't you recognize me? - Yeah... yeah... 170 00:08:04,891 --> 00:08:07,892 I totally remember you. You're... 171 00:08:07,994 --> 00:08:09,260 - ...that girl... - Stacy. 172 00:08:09,362 --> 00:08:12,129 - Stacy! Nailed it. - That's right. I'm so glad 173 00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:13,764 I'm not the only one here. 174 00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:15,333 I just love this mall. 175 00:08:15,435 --> 00:08:18,936 You know, I used to work here. Right at that kiosk. 176 00:08:19,038 --> 00:08:21,505 I was the very last one to close shop. 177 00:08:21,608 --> 00:08:23,841 For a while it was just me and Sbarro, 178 00:08:23,943 --> 00:08:25,810 and when they closed, this place was just 179 00:08:25,912 --> 00:08:30,181 Stacy's mall! 180 00:08:30,283 --> 00:08:31,396 Hmm. 181 00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:33,084 I can bling your phones if you want. 182 00:08:34,487 --> 00:08:38,261 Free bling? I'm not saying no to that. 183 00:08:40,293 --> 00:08:43,427 Guys, I got a bad feeling about Stacy. No one else 184 00:08:43,462 --> 00:08:45,363 is getting a mannequin-come-to-life vibe from this lady? 185 00:08:45,465 --> 00:08:47,131 Okay, Wayne, just walk me through this, 186 00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:49,153 because I feel your theories are always evolving. 187 00:08:49,177 --> 00:08:50,068 Thank you for asking. 188 00:08:50,103 --> 00:08:52,604 My working theory is she's a spirit with unfinished business 189 00:08:52,605 --> 00:08:54,990 caught between realms who has commandeered 190 00:08:54,991 --> 00:08:57,375 a mannequin as a vessel for the purpose of luring us here 191 00:08:57,477 --> 00:08:58,477 and stealing our souls. 192 00:08:58,478 --> 00:08:59,543 All done. 193 00:08:59,646 --> 00:09:03,481 - These are off the hizzy. - Oh, I like that you kept it subtle. 194 00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:07,418 See, Wayne, she's nice. She's a little eccentric, sure, 195 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,760 but she loves the mall, like us. 196 00:09:12,892 --> 00:09:15,226 Look. Mall rats. 197 00:09:15,328 --> 00:09:16,894 Get it? 198 00:09:16,996 --> 00:09:19,597 I mean, rats, ew. Ugh. 199 00:09:19,699 --> 00:09:23,000 I'm not friends with them. Get away, Nelly and Fat Joe. 200 00:09:23,102 --> 00:09:25,569 Okay, maybe she's a little weird, 201 00:09:25,672 --> 00:09:28,205 but the fun kind of weird, you know, like-like Bjork. 202 00:09:28,308 --> 00:09:30,474 Bjork is not on a first-name basis with rats. 203 00:09:30,576 --> 00:09:32,943 - Are we sure? - I'll just go wait in the car. 204 00:09:33,046 --> 00:09:34,446 Sorry for my boyfriend. 205 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,981 Some people just aren't cut out for the mall. 206 00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:38,149 Ew! 207 00:09:38,251 --> 00:09:39,984 - Oh, these are dust. - Aah! 208 00:09:40,086 --> 00:09:42,820 It's chained shut! Someone locked us in! 209 00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,556 Oh, my God! 210 00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:49,056 The monkey mannequins are activated! 211 00:09:54,715 --> 00:09:57,950 Um, guys, this door was not chained when we walked in. 212 00:09:58,052 --> 00:09:59,532 Wayne, maybe this is a different door. 213 00:09:59,556 --> 00:10:01,420 No way. This is Stacy's doing. 214 00:10:01,522 --> 00:10:04,089 If she had fingerprints, they'd be all over this. 215 00:10:04,191 --> 00:10:05,431 - Wayne... - Come on, man. 216 00:10:05,455 --> 00:10:07,309 She's not a mannequin. Wayne. 217 00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:08,174 - Come on. - Wayne, come on. 218 00:10:08,198 --> 00:10:09,095 They are not real. 219 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,130 - Whoopsie. - Oh! 220 00:10:10,197 --> 00:10:13,098 Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry about that. 221 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,134 Dale must have locked all the security doors 222 00:10:15,236 --> 00:10:17,202 because he's a security guard. 223 00:10:17,304 --> 00:10:20,339 I guarantee you there is no Dale. 224 00:10:20,441 --> 00:10:22,007 Hey, Dale, I think some visitors 225 00:10:22,109 --> 00:10:25,811 accidentally got locked in. Can you open the north doors? 226 00:10:25,913 --> 00:10:27,233 Oh, yeah. 227 00:10:27,257 --> 00:10:30,282 Hmm, seems like Dale's real. And hilarious. 228 00:10:30,384 --> 00:10:33,218 Oh, my God, Dale! Isn't he so funny? 229 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,590 - Full disclosure, we are dating. - There, Dale's on it. 230 00:10:37,691 --> 00:10:40,092 Brenda, let's go find a non-donged poster of me. 231 00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:41,794 Uh, y'all, can we stick together, please? 232 00:10:41,862 --> 00:10:44,296 Ugh, I still haven't found my Halloween costume. 233 00:10:44,398 --> 00:10:47,065 Betty, come on, you can't deny something's off about that lady. 234 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:50,235 - Help me find another exit. - Fine. I'm headed that way anyway. 235 00:10:50,337 --> 00:10:52,304 Got to get over to the payphone graveyard 236 00:10:52,406 --> 00:10:54,907 to unearth some of my stashed loot. 237 00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:57,009 Good Lord, Betty, what could you have possibly 238 00:10:57,111 --> 00:10:58,511 stored in here ten years ago 239 00:10:58,512 --> 00:10:59,912 that would be worth anything now? 240 00:10:59,947 --> 00:11:01,880 Oh, I don't know, why don't you ask 241 00:11:01,982 --> 00:11:05,017 this portable DVD player how much it's worth. 242 00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:06,839 Now all we got to do is find where I stashed 243 00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:08,921 the cigarette lighter adapter. 244 00:11:08,922 --> 00:11:11,009 # # 245 00:11:12,493 --> 00:11:14,526 Oh, here's a good one. 246 00:11:14,628 --> 00:11:16,328 Look closer. All your fingers got 247 00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,130 a little surprise on the end. 248 00:11:18,232 --> 00:11:20,299 Oh, come on. They did that on purpose 249 00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:21,801 so we'd have to get up close. 250 00:11:21,869 --> 00:11:25,170 - Penis-drawing butts. - I'll tell you one thing. 251 00:11:25,272 --> 00:11:28,073 No one would have gotten away with this disrespect 252 00:11:28,175 --> 00:11:30,242 - back in the day. - # # 253 00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:31,844 Hey, it's the poster girl. 254 00:11:31,946 --> 00:11:34,646 - Jenny, do the jump. - Brenda, launch me! 255 00:11:34,748 --> 00:11:37,483 # # 256 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:41,653 Can I get a picture with you? 257 00:11:41,755 --> 00:11:42,988 Sure. 258 00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:45,224 Wait, there's a camera in your phone? 259 00:11:45,326 --> 00:11:47,659 Point five megapixels, baby. 260 00:11:48,929 --> 00:11:53,632 - That's poppin'. - Hey, shawty, can you style me your digits? 261 00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:55,134 Dope fo-sho. 262 00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,636 ♪ One, two, three, uh ♪ 263 00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:58,637 ♪ My baby don't mess around ♪ 264 00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:01,006 ♪ Because she loves me so and this I don't know... ♪ 265 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:04,009 Hey, Jenny, Brenda, lookin' good. 266 00:12:04,111 --> 00:12:07,212 - How are the dogs today, Kelly? - On a stick. 267 00:12:12,753 --> 00:12:14,319 Ooh, looking good, Glen. 268 00:12:14,421 --> 00:12:16,488 - How's Monica? - In my rearview. 269 00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,357 Call me. 270 00:12:20,127 --> 00:12:23,629 Hoobastank CDs just for you two. 271 00:12:23,731 --> 00:12:27,065 ♪ For sticking to-together 'cause we don't know how ♪ 272 00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:31,303 - # Hey ya... # - It's on the mall. 273 00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:34,740 Oh, Danny, what are you doing to us? 274 00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:38,527 Oh, man, friggin' glory days. 275 00:12:38,629 --> 00:12:40,029 Brenda, I'm having a weird thought, 276 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,572 and I need you to talk me out of this. 277 00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:43,966 Were we kind of... stuck up? 278 00:12:45,403 --> 00:12:46,403 Brenda? 279 00:12:46,404 --> 00:12:48,702 Brenda?! 280 00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:52,040 Oh, come on, y'all. 281 00:12:52,143 --> 00:12:55,444 Come on, Betty, you already got a tape deck audio adapter, 282 00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:58,414 seven PalmPilot replacement styluses, 283 00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,582 and an inexplicably enormous CD tower. 284 00:13:00,684 --> 00:13:02,317 What other forms of outdated technology 285 00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:04,086 could you possibly need? 286 00:13:04,188 --> 00:13:06,348 - We got to get out of here! - This is the mother lode. 287 00:13:06,372 --> 00:13:09,758 It looks like a Corvette, but it actually rewinds VHS tapes. 288 00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,861 Okay, we can go find your precious exit now. 289 00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:16,799 Wait. Does this nameplate say Dale Everton? 290 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,362 # # 291 00:13:19,397 --> 00:13:21,370 Hello? Hello... 292 00:13:21,472 --> 00:13:22,872 Sir? 293 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,509 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my Lord, y'all. 294 00:13:27,611 --> 00:13:28,851 Is there lipstick on that thing? 295 00:13:31,015 --> 00:13:33,148 I was right! She was lying about Dale. 296 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,484 I knew she was no good. I'm calling Jenny. 297 00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:37,653 Oh, my God, there's a Nerds candy rope 298 00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:39,354 shoved in my SIM card slot. 299 00:13:39,457 --> 00:13:41,824 - That's what she said? - Damn it, not now, Betty. 300 00:13:41,926 --> 00:13:43,326 My phone's not even in here. 301 00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:45,194 It's just costume gems and chains. 302 00:13:45,296 --> 00:13:47,729 A blingy ball of junk, y'all. 303 00:13:49,266 --> 00:13:53,774 Brenda, this isn't cute anymore. Where the hell are you? 304 00:14:07,551 --> 00:14:11,119 Oh, my God, Wayne was right. Stacy is bad news. 305 00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:12,622 Why is she so obsessed with me? 306 00:14:12,723 --> 00:14:14,423 I got to warn Violet and David! 307 00:14:14,525 --> 00:14:17,192 - Aah! - Aah! 308 00:14:17,294 --> 00:14:19,895 This day could not get any worse. 309 00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:22,064 I'm trying out for equestrian tomorrow, 310 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:25,334 but my nemesis Kimberly spooked my prize steed. 311 00:14:25,436 --> 00:14:29,071 Looks like I'm gonna have to put down another horse. 312 00:14:29,173 --> 00:14:31,073 God, I wish I could see that. 313 00:14:31,175 --> 00:14:33,008 You're obviously invited, Joshua. 314 00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:35,911 - Chill. You're on the list. - No, Britney. 315 00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,914 I can't see it because... I'm blind. 316 00:14:39,016 --> 00:14:41,450 But you drove us here. 317 00:14:41,552 --> 00:14:44,753 - On pure instinct. - Hang on, what's this? 318 00:14:44,855 --> 00:14:47,489 Don't open it, it's my mother's eating disorder diary. 319 00:14:47,591 --> 00:14:50,709 No, David, I'm serious. What the hell is this? 320 00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:52,628 It looks like the walkie-talkie Stacy had. 321 00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:54,050 Oh, yeah! 322 00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:57,299 Oh, my God. This means there's no Dale. 323 00:14:57,401 --> 00:14:59,268 David. 324 00:15:00,337 --> 00:15:02,738 - Aah! - Oh, yeah! 325 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,208 - Jenny, Jenny... - I already know. Lacy's bad. 326 00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,110 It's Stacy, and she's a mannequin. 327 00:15:08,212 --> 00:15:11,480 And her boyfriend is, too. Tell her, Betty. 328 00:15:11,582 --> 00:15:14,440 - Betty? - Oh, my God. Mother? 329 00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:16,919 I got kidnapped, too, you dummy! 330 00:15:18,021 --> 00:15:20,321 ♪ I'm like a bird ♪ 331 00:15:20,423 --> 00:15:23,658 ♪ I'll only fly away ♪ 332 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,827 - # I don't know where my soul is # 333 00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:30,417 ♪ I don't know where my home is. ♪ 334 00:15:33,385 --> 00:15:35,451 # I'm like a bird # 335 00:15:35,553 --> 00:15:37,820 ♪ I'll only fly away... ♪ 336 00:15:37,923 --> 00:15:40,290 Okay, listen, we got the upper hand here. 337 00:15:40,392 --> 00:15:42,625 I'll take the elevator and come up to her from behind. 338 00:15:42,727 --> 00:15:45,895 You take the escalator and distract her from the front. 339 00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:47,931 - Perfect plan. - You ready? 340 00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,999 One, two... 341 00:15:50,101 --> 00:15:52,535 I'm sorry, Jenny. I forgot that, on principle, 342 00:15:52,637 --> 00:15:54,470 I won't hit a woman. 343 00:15:54,572 --> 00:15:56,072 You don't even think she is a woman. 344 00:15:56,174 --> 00:15:57,807 Well, she's still shaped like one. 345 00:15:57,909 --> 00:16:01,110 Look who's here. The queen of the mall. 346 00:16:01,212 --> 00:16:03,913 Stacy, what are you doing? You can't just tie people up. 347 00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:06,015 Let 'em go! I'll help you. 348 00:16:06,117 --> 00:16:08,084 Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that. 349 00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:11,654 But while they're all tied up, why not have a picnic with me? 350 00:16:11,756 --> 00:16:13,489 I got all the best mall food. 351 00:16:13,591 --> 00:16:16,459 I got Panda Express, Dippin' Dots, and look, 352 00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:17,961 a King Cheesesteak Potato 353 00:16:18,029 --> 00:16:21,030 from the Great American Potato Company. Mmm. 354 00:16:21,132 --> 00:16:24,555 No, Tracy! This food is so moldy it's practically penicillin. 355 00:16:24,602 --> 00:16:29,138 You build up a tolerance, Jenny! And the name is Stacy! 356 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,807 Jenny, there's a kill switch. 357 00:16:30,909 --> 00:16:32,642 Yeah, but how am I gonna get there? 358 00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:33,810 Do your jump, girl. 359 00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:36,813 I don't think I can. I'm not the same person I was. 360 00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:39,616 - Come on, I believe in you. - Do the jump! 361 00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:43,853 # # 362 00:16:43,955 --> 00:16:45,887 # # 363 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,826 Okay, that's on me. 364 00:16:49,928 --> 00:16:51,427 Why are you doing this, Stephanie? 365 00:16:51,529 --> 00:16:55,932 Stacy! Stacy! Stacy! Why is it so hard to remember? 366 00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:58,868 It's the most clichéd name for a mall rat. 367 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,436 While the whole world 368 00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:03,539 was celebrating you, Jennifer Hart, 369 00:17:03,641 --> 00:17:05,208 I was there, too. 370 00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,410 Let me refresh your memory. 371 00:17:09,447 --> 00:17:11,848 I love you, Jenny! 372 00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:13,416 Could you sign my poster? 373 00:17:13,518 --> 00:17:14,951 Hey, can I get a picture with you? 374 00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:19,022 You guys wanna hang out? 375 00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:21,157 # # 376 00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:28,865 Uh-uh, this is for Jenny Hart. 377 00:17:30,769 --> 00:17:33,302 # # 378 00:17:40,011 --> 00:17:42,412 Oh, yeah, we were definitely bitches. 379 00:17:42,514 --> 00:17:46,616 - Stacy, I'm really sorry. - Too little too late. 380 00:17:46,718 --> 00:17:49,452 I dedicated my life to you... and my book, 381 00:17:49,554 --> 00:17:50,820 Mall In The Family, colon, 382 00:17:50,922 --> 00:17:52,522 Friendship Is A Kiosk Named Love. 383 00:17:52,624 --> 00:17:54,290 On sale now at Waldenbooks. 384 00:17:54,392 --> 00:17:55,491 Aw, it's closed. 385 00:17:55,593 --> 00:17:57,393 Don't you get it?! The mall is closed! 386 00:17:57,495 --> 00:17:59,729 You're closed. This mall was my life. 387 00:17:59,831 --> 00:18:02,732 Even after they shuttered it, I kept coming back day after day 388 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,535 hoping that maybe Jenny Hart would hang out with me. 389 00:18:05,637 --> 00:18:08,471 And then I figured out a way to get Jenny Hart here. 390 00:18:08,573 --> 00:18:10,606 - The flier. - And now that you're here, 391 00:18:10,708 --> 00:18:13,443 you get to die with me. Y'all do. 392 00:18:13,545 --> 00:18:17,346 - And she just lost me. - She just lost you? 393 00:18:17,449 --> 00:18:20,950 So now we get to transition to the great mall in the sky. 394 00:18:21,052 --> 00:18:23,986 And you can be the queen, and we'll be together 395 00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:27,290 Forever... 21. 396 00:18:27,392 --> 00:18:29,692 Wayne, you untied yourself. 397 00:18:29,794 --> 00:18:33,429 - Get us the hell off this thing. - Yep, that's the plan. 398 00:18:33,531 --> 00:18:35,198 Just having a... 399 00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,060 ...little bit of trouble moving with her, uh, 400 00:18:37,102 --> 00:18:39,422 mannequin boyfriend staring right at me. 401 00:18:39,446 --> 00:18:41,843 Wait, that's right. He's her boyfriend. 402 00:18:41,906 --> 00:18:43,406 He's our way out of this. 403 00:18:43,508 --> 00:18:46,109 The one thing that will get to her is jealousy. 404 00:18:46,211 --> 00:18:47,743 It's classic teen drama stuff. 405 00:18:47,846 --> 00:18:49,946 - So what do I do? - You know what to do. 406 00:18:50,048 --> 00:18:51,448 Make her jealous with a performance 407 00:18:51,549 --> 00:18:53,316 worthy of a Teen Choice Award. 408 00:18:53,418 --> 00:18:55,651 Oh, my God, you're right. 409 00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:04,594 Oh, no, Joshua, is that Dale making out 410 00:19:04,696 --> 00:19:06,917 with the captain of the lacrosse team? 411 00:19:06,952 --> 00:19:08,664 The day before regionals? 412 00:19:08,766 --> 00:19:10,700 # # 413 00:19:14,139 --> 00:19:15,571 ♪ Kiss me ♪ 414 00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:18,741 ♪ Out of the bearded barley ♪ 415 00:19:18,843 --> 00:19:21,277 ♪ Nightly, beside... ♪ 416 00:19:21,379 --> 00:19:24,880 No! He said he would wait for me! 417 00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:30,520 ♪ Mm, what'd you say? ♪ 418 00:19:30,622 --> 00:19:32,355 He can't swim! 419 00:19:32,457 --> 00:19:34,991 You monster! Aah! 420 00:19:35,093 --> 00:19:37,393 ♪ Mm, what'd you say? ♪ 421 00:19:38,229 --> 00:19:41,664 Wayne, you freakin' saved all our lives. You were so brave. 422 00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:44,200 You totally went to second base with a mannequin. 423 00:19:44,302 --> 00:19:46,769 Yeah, it used to be a mannequin would wipe your mind 424 00:19:46,871 --> 00:19:48,704 after something like this, but nowadays, 425 00:19:48,806 --> 00:19:51,774 - they have no decency. - Oh, good Lord. 426 00:19:51,876 --> 00:19:55,359 Jenny, here you go. I went back in and got this. 427 00:19:56,447 --> 00:19:59,182 Yeah, you know what, 428 00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:02,718 I think maybe this version of me should just stay in the past. 429 00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:05,888 Okay, I just risked my life going back in there, 430 00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:07,390 but... Whatev. 431 00:20:07,492 --> 00:20:09,959 We've talked about it, and we think it's best 432 00:20:10,061 --> 00:20:12,195 that Britney and Joshua die with the mall, too. 433 00:20:12,297 --> 00:20:14,363 Aw, but they were really growing on me. 434 00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:16,566 Don't worry, their secret identical twins 435 00:20:16,668 --> 00:20:18,308 will collect the life insurance. 436 00:20:18,369 --> 00:20:20,903 Do you mean Christina Courtney Lohan 437 00:20:21,005 --> 00:20:23,139 and Logan Romijn Stamos? 438 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,392 # # 439 00:20:27,871 --> 00:20:29,273 Guys, here it comes! 440 00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:31,569 Oooweee. This just in. 441 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,174 A Greenpoint family was trapped inside the mall 442 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:38,245 with a crazy woman, but made a dramatic escape. 443 00:20:38,347 --> 00:20:42,216 An anonymous redheaded source tells us that Wayne Edwards 444 00:20:42,318 --> 00:20:46,120 tricked the captor by locking lips with a mannequin. 445 00:20:46,222 --> 00:20:49,456 Talk about ooowee. 446 00:20:49,558 --> 00:20:50,958 Does everyone need to know that? 447 00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,961 With me now is longtime mall security guard 448 00:20:54,063 --> 00:20:55,662 Dale Everton. 449 00:20:55,765 --> 00:20:56,765 What? 450 00:20:56,866 --> 00:21:00,367 Dale, will it be sad to see the mall exploded? 451 00:21:00,469 --> 00:21:02,636 Well, it was a big part of my life. 452 00:21:02,738 --> 00:21:04,705 I met my girlfriend Stacy there. 453 00:21:04,807 --> 00:21:07,207 Although she passed in 2002. 454 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,209 She got caught up in the carousel. 455 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,045 - Oh, what?! - All right, looks like 456 00:21:12,148 --> 00:21:15,115 the moment is finally here. 457 00:21:20,856 --> 00:21:23,223 All right, got all the mannequins out of there. 458 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,758 Haul 'em away. 459 00:21:24,860 --> 00:21:27,694 ♪ Kiss me ♪ 460 00:21:27,797 --> 00:21:30,826 ♪ Out of the bearded barley... ♪ 461 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,398 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~