1
00:00:02,728 --> 00:00:06,580
♪ I got that joy, joy, joy,
joy down in my heart ♪
2
00:00:06,732 --> 00:00:07,822
♪ Where? ♪
3
00:00:07,916 --> 00:00:10,917
♪ Down in my heart to stay. ♪
4
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:13,587
-(rock music
playing in distance)
-(cheering)
5
00:00:13,739 --> 00:00:15,597
(plane approaching)
6
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,018
Oh, Lord,
that megachurch next door
7
00:00:19,245 --> 00:00:21,669
must be having another one
of their Lord-a-Paloozas.
8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,430
Shut up out there, you heathens!
9
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,767
I can't hear myself praying
for a night with Richard Gere!
10
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:29,586
Now, now, let's not yell
at our neighbors.
11
00:00:29,605 --> 00:00:31,255
They're bringing more people
to the Lord,
12
00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:33,365
and that's just good
for everybody.
13
00:00:33,592 --> 00:00:35,942
ANNOUNCER:
Attention,
Bucklake parishioners.
14
00:00:36,095 --> 00:00:37,611
Enter the raffle now
15
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:41,098
to win a brand-new,
whiz-bang Trickster Sea-Doo!
16
00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:44,376
A Sea-Doo? Those are
the dirt bikes of the ocean!
17
00:00:44,603 --> 00:00:48,530
Oh, uh, I forgot
that my house is on fire.
18
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,291
Me, too!
Uh, different house, though!
19
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,718
-(parishioners clamoring)
-MAN: Me, too.
20
00:00:52,869 --> 00:00:54,595
-MAN 2: See you.
-WOMAN: Next Sunday.
21
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,465
Oh, such a beautiful service
today.
22
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,392
Pastor Joanne,
you knocked it out of the park.
23
00:01:00,544 --> 00:01:03,044
(chuckles) I loved your joke
about springtime.
24
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,304
WAYNE AND JENNY:
"Spring is here.
25
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,899
I got so excited
that I wet my plants!"
26
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,049
(laughing)
27
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,810
Look out, Ellen DeGeneres.
28
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,236
(music playing)
29
00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:12,629
ANNOUNCER:
Bucklake Ministries.
30
00:01:12,648 --> 00:01:14,740
Fun. Food. Community.
31
00:01:14,891 --> 00:01:18,635
And now
double the faith healings.
32
00:01:18,654 --> 00:01:21,305
VIOLET:
It's like if Jesus ran
a Six Flags.
33
00:01:21,323 --> 00:01:23,064
Ugh, look
at that tacky minister.
34
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,583
Be healed!
35
00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,401
If he can heal with his hands,
36
00:01:26,495 --> 00:01:28,253
why'd he have to get
all that plastic surgery?
37
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:31,481
As over-the-top as he is, some
people seem to really love him.
38
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,984
It's hard to compete
with all that pizzazz.
39
00:01:34,077 --> 00:01:36,169
I'm thinking about dusting off
my electric guitar
40
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,079
-for Easter services.
-BETTY: No!
41
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,431
Pastor Joanne,
42
00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:41,767
don't you dare pick up
that electrical guitar!
43
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:44,586
Yes, you are an angel
on this earth, Pastor Joanne.
44
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,180
All you got to do
is just keep doing you.
45
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:49,441
Well, we might not have
any ticket giveaways,
46
00:01:49,668 --> 00:01:51,443
but we do have
a good old-fashioned
47
00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:53,687
pancake dinner fundraiser
coming up.
48
00:01:53,839 --> 00:01:55,614
We will for sure be there.
49
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,449
-WAYNE: Whoa!
-Bucklake!
50
00:01:57,601 --> 00:02:00,694
Getting closer to God!
51
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:04,772
Are you gonna have a jetpack
at your pancake dinner?
52
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,000
♪ ♪
53
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,048
♪ ♪
54
00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:39,383
And then that megachurch did
55
00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,309
this whole
American Gladiators thing,
56
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:44,070
and a guy came out dressed like
you and did the entire course.
57
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,146
So tacky.
58
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,057
Yeah, totally.
59
00:02:47,075 --> 00:02:48,483
So the guy looked like me?
60
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,502
Well, yeah, except he was
real chiseled and buff.
61
00:02:51,397 --> 00:02:53,230
You must hate places
like Bucklake.
62
00:02:53,248 --> 00:02:54,656
All that showy hoo-ha.
63
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,508
(laughs):
You kidding me?
64
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:57,825
I love a megachurch.
65
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,012
All those people
cheering for me?
66
00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:02,497
That's as close as I'm
ever gonna get to being Bono.
67
00:03:02,591 --> 00:03:05,017
I just wish
I could help out Pastor Joanne.
68
00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:06,852
You know, slow down
that megachurch a little.
69
00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:10,247
Well, that Minister
Mikey Buckley is, um...
70
00:03:10,265 --> 00:03:11,081
What?
71
00:03:11,099 --> 00:03:12,098
Oh, I don't like to gossip.
72
00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:13,250
I shouldn't have said anything.
73
00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:14,342
I knew it!
74
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,769
There is something up
with that guy.
75
00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,196
So what you're trying
to tell me is
76
00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:18,346
that if I went over there,
77
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,847
I could dig up the dirt
on Buckley
78
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,441
and bring down
that phony-baloney church?
79
00:03:21,593 --> 00:03:23,109
No! That's not what I'm saying.
80
00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:24,686
Well, if you don't want me
digging,
81
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:26,096
just tell me what it is, then.
82
00:03:26,114 --> 00:03:27,447
No can do-sies.
83
00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:28,615
Come on!
84
00:03:28,767 --> 00:03:30,525
(zipper sound effect)
85
00:03:30,619 --> 00:03:32,753
(heavenly music plays)
86
00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:35,756
You're such a cheeseball.
87
00:03:37,459 --> 00:03:39,443
Sorry, guys. We don't carry...
88
00:03:39,536 --> 00:03:41,403
lily of the valley,
89
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,222
nightshade,
or any of the plants on here
90
00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:44,223
that start with "poison."
91
00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:46,207
Not even the lowly sumac?
92
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,227
Our garden of death
is just gonna be a cactus
93
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,470
and some brown snapdragons.
94
00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:53,214
Wait, what is that?
95
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,442
♪ ♪
96
00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:59,145
Whoa...
97
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,056
We sell these Jesus statues,
you know, for people's gardens.
98
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:03,242
And usually people love 'em.
99
00:04:03,469 --> 00:04:05,059
But this little guy
is different.
100
00:04:05,153 --> 00:04:07,079
Just got this crazy vibe.
101
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:09,414
Like he's been through
a whole world of suffering.
102
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:12,809
It's like he's designed
to make people regret things.
103
00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:16,480
This version of Jesus is why
my abuela never remarried.
104
00:04:16,498 --> 00:04:18,498
(sighs) Look how many times
he's been marked down.
105
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,984
Nobody wants him. It's just
too much for people to handle.
106
00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:23,411
And I've done everything to try
to get someone to take him.
107
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,079
I-I gave him a Hawaiian shirt,
108
00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:26,990
a-a Dr. Seuss hat...
109
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,675
DAVID:
Did you try zany sunglasses?
110
00:04:28,827 --> 00:04:30,327
WAYNE:
Oh, the zaniest.
111
00:04:30,387 --> 00:04:32,980
But those eyes
pierce everything.
112
00:04:34,016 --> 00:04:36,108
David, what do you think
would happen
113
00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:37,501
if we took this Jesus
around town
114
00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,836
and made people confront
their worst life choices?
115
00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:41,505
They would be hypnotized
by guilt.
116
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:44,116
And, best case, they have
a physical reaction to that?
117
00:04:44,343 --> 00:04:46,118
Maybe an embarrassing one?
118
00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:47,935
-Please, Wayne,
get us this Jesus.
-Wayne, can you get us
119
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:48,936
this Jesus?
120
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:49,621
Why?
121
00:04:49,848 --> 00:04:51,531
For a... art project.
122
00:04:51,683 --> 00:04:53,107
It's a photo essay
about what happens
123
00:04:53,201 --> 00:04:56,110
when people stop being polite
and start seeing Jesus.
124
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,446
It's called Real World: Jesus.
125
00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:01,115
Well, I would go with
Real Saviors of Greenpoint,
126
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,467
but we can figure that out
later.
127
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:05,095
Let's have some fun.
128
00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,031
You want it here?
129
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:09,533
No, a little to the left.
130
00:05:09,626 --> 00:05:11,977
(strained): I thought this guy
was supposed to carry me.
131
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,537
No, that's too far.
132
00:05:13,555 --> 00:05:15,463
-(grunts)
-Perfect.
133
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,315
Okay, now hide.
134
00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,150
(tires screech)
135
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:23,805
♪ ♪
136
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,473
(gulps)
137
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,476
I don't feel good
about my choices.
138
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,661
I'm the garbage!
139
00:05:30,572 --> 00:05:32,480
How did you know
he was gonna litter?
140
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,648
Everyone litters.
141
00:05:33,742 --> 00:05:36,226
Because people are trash.
142
00:05:36,244 --> 00:05:40,130
Now, let's catch us
some common shoplifters.
143
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,249
(gasps)
144
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,260
♪ ♪
145
00:05:46,088 --> 00:05:47,179
What the hell are we doing?
146
00:05:47,330 --> 00:05:49,072
Don't look at me, Jesus.
I'm disgusting.
147
00:05:49,165 --> 00:05:51,099
I got to get my GED.
148
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,169
(engine idling)
149
00:05:55,263 --> 00:05:56,746
Okay, here's your...
150
00:05:56,765 --> 00:05:57,764
♪ ♪
151
00:05:57,916 --> 00:05:59,082
Oh, mercy! Lord!
152
00:05:59,101 --> 00:06:00,250
Let me get you an extra biscuit.
153
00:06:00,343 --> 00:06:02,586
I am so sorry for everything.
154
00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:04,421
Praise him! Praise you!
155
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:05,422
Oh, Lord!
156
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,682
WAYNE:
Wait, but she didn't do
anything wrong.
157
00:06:07,776 --> 00:06:09,776
Why is she in your art project?
158
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,995
Oh, no,
we just wanted free biscuits.
159
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,332
Hmm.
160
00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:18,268
Mother, I think it's up to us
161
00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,045
to do something
about that megachurch.
162
00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:21,938
Damn right.
Let me go get
163
00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:23,715
my "hitting" golf clubs.
164
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,610
Mother, we're not gonna hit
anybody with golf clubs.
165
00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:27,944
Good Lord. Just listen.
166
00:06:28,037 --> 00:06:30,037
A little birdie told me
that Minister Mikey
167
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,948
might have some skeletons.
168
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,875
Ooh, what are we talking?
169
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,394
Buried bodies?
170
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:36,377
Drug addiction?
171
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,455
Money laundering? Kid diddling?
172
00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:40,882
I don't know yet,
but I know how to find out:
173
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,550
a classic long con.
174
00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:44,644
First we earn the trust
of those closest to him.
175
00:06:44,796 --> 00:06:46,980
We infiltrate the choir. Learn
their songs. Study their quirks.
176
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,133
And then, when the time is
right, we drop the hammer.
177
00:06:50,152 --> 00:06:53,136
I used to love a good long con,
178
00:06:53,155 --> 00:06:56,581
but who has time in the age
of YouTube and Instasnap?
179
00:06:56,808 --> 00:06:58,475
This has to be a short con.
180
00:06:58,568 --> 00:07:00,160
Okay, why do you have
a wheelchair
181
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,586
locked and loaded
under your bed?
182
00:07:01,738 --> 00:07:05,632
Every woman should have
a wheelchair in her arsenal.
183
00:07:07,502 --> 00:07:09,653
(indistinct chatter)
184
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:14,007
Is this a church service
or Monday Night Raw?
185
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,100
Welcome to Bucklake.
186
00:07:15,327 --> 00:07:16,601
Or should I say, "Welcome home"?
187
00:07:16,828 --> 00:07:20,346
Our facial recognition software
tells me you're new here.
188
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,465
(whirring)
189
00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:23,608
Oh, what?
190
00:07:23,835 --> 00:07:26,169
Please accept a coffee voucher
to our Starbucks.
191
00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:28,505
Y'all have a Starbucks in here?
192
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:31,191
Yep, right by the complimentary
massage chairs.
193
00:07:31,343 --> 00:07:32,284
(air horn blows)
194
00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:33,860
And I'd also like
to offer you your choice
195
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,289
of a new member hoodie
or cozy ribbed cardigan.
196
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,033
I'll take a cardigan for myself
197
00:07:40,185 --> 00:07:44,871
and a hoodie for my sweet
invalid mother who's in hospice.
198
00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:46,206
What? We're here.
199
00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:48,616
I mean, we might as well
rip 'em off, right?
200
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,968
(rock music playing)
201
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,620
♪ Yeah ♪
202
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,864
♪ It's about faith ♪
203
00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:57,309
♪ Yeah, you got love... ♪
204
00:07:57,536 --> 00:07:58,702
Ugh.
205
00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:00,312
Everything here is so tacky.
206
00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:02,388
-This high-quality cardigan.
-Tacky.
207
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:04,207
(scoffs)
These stupid comfortable seats
208
00:08:04,226 --> 00:08:05,875
with adjustable armrests.
209
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:07,877
-Tacky.
-And this dumb freakin'
210
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:09,546
lavender-flavored
delicious latte.
211
00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:12,491
Yeah, and the barista
put too much whipped cream
212
00:08:12,642 --> 00:08:13,825
in my hot co-coa.
213
00:08:14,052 --> 00:08:15,719
BOTH:
Tacky.
214
00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:18,145
Okay, we get the dirt
on this plastic preacher,
215
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,498
get out
of this phony-baloney circus,
216
00:08:19,725 --> 00:08:23,168
and get to Pastor Joanne's
Easter pancake dinner.
217
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:30,324
-♪ Ah... ♪
-♪ Hey... ♪
218
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:35,905
♪ Can you feel it?
Can you feel it? ♪
219
00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:37,757
(cheering)
220
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,018
♪ Ah-ha ♪
221
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,578
♪ It's about faith ♪
222
00:08:41,596 --> 00:08:43,188
♪ Ooh... ♪
223
00:08:43,339 --> 00:08:46,266
All right. All right!
(whoops)
224
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,010
Welcome home.
Now, I don't know about y'all,
225
00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:50,103
but I'm feeling a little,
226
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,512
just a little wiggly.
227
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,181
-(cheering)
-I'm feeling a little jiggly.
228
00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:57,702
-(cheering)
-I'm feeling a little extra
power of the Lord right now.
229
00:08:57,929 --> 00:08:59,520
And I got to share it
with y'all.
230
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,282
Now, who's ready
for some divine healing?
231
00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:03,542
(cheering)
232
00:09:03,769 --> 00:09:05,710
Come on down to the stage.
233
00:09:05,937 --> 00:09:07,420
That's our cue.
234
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,200
Oh, no. Everyone knows
I can't resist the thrill
235
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:14,460
of a T-shirt cannon.
236
00:09:14,613 --> 00:09:16,037
Stay focused, dummy!
237
00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:18,298
In the name of the Father,
238
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,042
the Son and the Holy Spirit,
239
00:09:21,136 --> 00:09:23,136
I say begone, Satan!
240
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:26,064
Let this woman stand!
241
00:09:28,384 --> 00:09:30,310
(gasping)
242
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,461
(murmuring)
243
00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:36,223
And receive
her $50 Kohl's gift card!
244
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:38,577
♪ ♪
245
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,898
-I can walk! I can!
-(gasping)
246
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:44,899
(band playing)
247
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,643
What are you doing?
248
00:09:46,661 --> 00:09:48,903
50 free dollars to Kohl's,
Jenny.
249
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,647
You are so weak-willed.
250
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:54,183
I caught a shirt!
I caught a shirt! (whooping)
251
00:09:54,185 --> 00:09:55,677
♪ Yeah. ♪
252
00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:05,011
Jenny, which Easter hat
do you like better?
253
00:10:05,163 --> 00:10:06,938
This one?
254
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,665
Or...?
255
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,443
Ooh, I like that one.
Very Bianca Jagger.
256
00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:15,672
So, how was Pastor Joanne's
pancake dinner fundraiser?
257
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:18,933
Okay, I didn't go
to Pastor Joanne's church.
258
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:22,603
Because I was at a...
259
00:10:22,697 --> 00:10:24,347
more church!
(chuckles)
260
00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:25,531
Oh, I hope
you're keeping track, though,
261
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:27,292
'cause I should get extra points
for this.
262
00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:28,868
Jenny, I've told you
a million times,
263
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,687
there's no point system.
264
00:10:30,705 --> 00:10:32,613
And if you keep asking, you're
gonna lose a bunch of points.
265
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,281
So there are points.
266
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,283
Okay, yes.
Of course there are points.
267
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,469
How many does Ghandi have?
268
00:10:37,696 --> 00:10:39,045
Oh, you don't want
to get into all that.
269
00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:40,121
More than Tom Hanks?
270
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,197
Forget the points.
271
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:42,623
Your hat is stupid.
272
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,884
-You just lost 98 points.
-(heavenly music plays)
273
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,293
(gasps) No!
274
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,937
Is that a little or a lot?
275
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:50,339
This is such a great idea,
Wayne.
276
00:10:50,392 --> 00:10:53,818
Taking Jesus to Bud's Baby Dolls
is the ultimate.
277
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,820
Yeah, you have great
shaming instincts.
278
00:10:56,047 --> 00:10:57,897
Look, look, look,
here comes a dude.
279
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,974
(lock chirps)
280
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,661
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh...
281
00:11:06,057 --> 00:11:07,582
(both laughing)
282
00:11:09,485 --> 00:11:11,336
-Nope.
-Amazing.
283
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:13,746
These dirtbags feel
so bad about themselves.
284
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,656
(laughing)
285
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:17,158
Kinda feel bad for 'em.
286
00:11:17,252 --> 00:11:19,594
-Don't you?
-No.
-Are you kidding?
287
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,832
♪ ♪
288
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,409
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
289
00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:28,502
(laughing)
290
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:29,854
He's talking to it.
291
00:11:30,081 --> 00:11:31,172
Don't look at me.
292
00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:33,191
Why are you looking at me
like that?
293
00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:34,918
(crying)
294
00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:36,269
(gasps)
295
00:11:37,105 --> 00:11:39,605
We did this. This is just
a prank. We put this here.
296
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:41,015
It came from Bigsby's.
297
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,516
Yeah, it's just a dumb statue.
298
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:44,185
Just a dumb statue?
299
00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:45,370
I don't know how
to live anymore!
300
00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:48,206
-Get away from me! Get away!
-BOTH: Aah!
301
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:50,875
Wayne, that guy's gonna
hurt himself.
302
00:11:51,027 --> 00:11:52,101
(laughs)
303
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:54,379
Oh, man, that is hilarious!
304
00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:56,214
No! Not hilarious.
305
00:11:56,441 --> 00:11:59,108
No, it's hilarious...
306
00:11:59,127 --> 00:12:01,594
-that you fell for this.
-What?
307
00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:04,371
(both gasp)
308
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,282
That's right, reverse prank.
309
00:12:06,301 --> 00:12:08,301
Classic way to teach pranksters
310
00:12:08,453 --> 00:12:10,878
that pranks
can have consequences.
311
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,063
Jason, get over here.
312
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,399
This is my pal Jason,
and his breakdown
313
00:12:14,626 --> 00:12:17,694
was my prank on you guys.
How does it feel?
314
00:12:20,515 --> 00:12:23,224
All right, Wayne. The prankers
have become the prank-ed.
315
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,893
Teaching us a lesson
about karma using Jesus?
316
00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:26,986
You're a freakin' genius.
317
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,304
I look so sexy
318
00:12:28,323 --> 00:12:29,655
when I think
I've killed a person.
319
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,643
Oh, God, what have I been
doing with my life?
320
00:12:33,661 --> 00:12:35,086
I'm gonna kill myself!
321
00:12:35,313 --> 00:12:37,480
Okay, Wayne, we get it. Geez.
322
00:12:37,499 --> 00:12:38,906
Oh, no, I don't know that guy.
323
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,384
Uh, hey, we got to get
that thing out of here.
324
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,596
Ooh-hoo, we are gonna turn
325
00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:47,098
Bucklake inside out
with our Easter looks.
326
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,158
I heard there's gonna
be a hologram
327
00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:51,436
where Jesus talks to Prince.
328
00:12:51,587 --> 00:12:53,679
I heard they Easter brunch
during the service,
329
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,106
Medieval Times-style.
330
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:56,274
-(both gasp)
-Oh.
331
00:12:56,501 --> 00:12:57,609
Hey, y'all.
332
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:02,021
BOTH:
Pastor Joanne!
333
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,448
Betty, I got your message
334
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:05,266
that you couldn't come
to my pancake dinner
335
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,177
because of
your emergency back surgery?
336
00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:11,105
Uh... that's right. Yep.
337
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,698
It's feeling pretty good now.
338
00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:14,608
The transplant's really taking.
339
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,961
Check this out. (whoops)
340
00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:18,445
(grunting)
341
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,523
You got a back transplant?
342
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:23,209
Yep. Mm-hmm.
The whole thing had to go.
343
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:25,470
And when I was helping her
with her rehab,
344
00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:29,307
that caused me
to hurt my back really bad.
345
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:32,293
So we both had to get
back transplants.
346
00:13:32,387 --> 00:13:34,813
But we're doing great!
Ha. We've been praying.
347
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,389
(laughs) Look!
348
00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:38,399
(both grunting)
349
00:13:40,545 --> 00:13:42,803
Well, I missed having
y'all there.
350
00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:45,306
-(thunder cracks)
-Congratulations on your backs.
351
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,618
Oh, shoot.
Quick, get under here.
352
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,581
Uh...
353
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,820
I love that they do
communion pizza here.
354
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,007
I love Pastor Joanne's
pancake dinners,
355
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:05,677
but this is Pizza Hut quality.
356
00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:08,596
Oh, there goes Minister Mikey.
357
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:11,924
-Let's go introduce ourselves.
-Hang on,
358
00:14:12,077 --> 00:14:13,593
I got to fluff my hair first.
359
00:14:13,745 --> 00:14:16,020
Did you know you can use
your phone as a mirror?
360
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,731
-That's a life hack.
-(sighs)
361
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,195
Oh, look at that.
362
00:14:24,347 --> 00:14:26,347
That's not a mistress, is it?
363
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,659
No, he's saving
that poor girl's soul.
364
00:14:30,595 --> 00:14:32,278
(both moaning)
365
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:35,098
Okay, so he is in a relationship
366
00:14:35,191 --> 00:14:37,433
with a woman of the night.
367
00:14:37,452 --> 00:14:38,935
More like
a woman of the afternoon.
368
00:14:39,028 --> 00:14:42,029
But that's fine.
Jesus didn't judge prosties.
369
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,623
When can we be together?
370
00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:46,442
Once we turn that Podunk
little Greenpoint Methodist into
371
00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:48,945
a parking structure/Bucklake
complex,
372
00:14:49,038 --> 00:14:50,947
we're gonna put you
in a beautiful townhome.
373
00:14:50,965 --> 00:14:55,376
Hold on. He's actively trying to
destroy Pastor Joanne's church?
374
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,212
Over my smoking hot dead body.
375
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,065
By the way,
did you try the mini quiche?
376
00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:08,239
Ooh, that turd Minister Mikey is
377
00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:10,909
gonna force Pastor Joanne
out of her church.
378
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,652
That sexy minister sucked us in,
379
00:15:12,804 --> 00:15:15,729
and he's gonna hurt
our sweet angel Joanne.
380
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:16,806
Ah...
381
00:15:16,899 --> 00:15:18,565
We have to protect her
at all costs.
382
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:21,144
Even if it means getting up
before these roll-y balls
383
00:15:21,162 --> 00:15:24,071
get to my lower back.
Lord, it hurts so good, y'all...
384
00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:27,634
I'm just gonna get a quick pic
of me in this pleasure machine.
385
00:15:28,486 --> 00:15:31,003
Oh, shoot.
Left my camera on again.
386
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,746
Wait, what's this movie?
387
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,657
Once we turn that podunk little
388
00:15:34,676 --> 00:15:37,176
Greenpoint Methodist
into a parking structure...
389
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,328
Mother!
You taped the whole thing.
390
00:15:39,422 --> 00:15:41,105
Do you know what this means?
391
00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:44,000
It's our smoking gun.
392
00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:45,777
We got to go nuclear with this.
393
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:47,761
Blast this out
on all the medias.
394
00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:49,355
CNN. Al Rokers.
395
00:15:49,507 --> 00:15:52,008
Call that gap-toothed Adonis
Michael Strahan,
396
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:54,235
and offer him an exclusive.
397
00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:56,471
I knew there was something off
398
00:15:56,473 --> 00:15:59,182
about that Minister Mikey,
based on teeth alone.
399
00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:00,607
That guy's veneers cost more
400
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,961
than my double-wide,
and they're twice as big.
401
00:16:03,188 --> 00:16:05,463
His parishioners deserve
to know what a creep he is.
402
00:16:05,614 --> 00:16:07,799
And we have the proof
on Mother's phone.
403
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:09,025
Amen.
404
00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:10,543
This is better
than any telenovela
405
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,527
I've ever seen.
406
00:16:11,546 --> 00:16:12,971
Even the one where the evil twin
407
00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:14,530
turned out to be a robot.
408
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:16,716
We infiltrate the Easter service
and show that smoking gun
409
00:16:16,868 --> 00:16:18,142
to the whole church at once.
410
00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:19,719
But we're gonna
need your help.
411
00:16:19,871 --> 00:16:23,039
Okay, here's how
it's gonna go down.
412
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:25,483
It'll be Easter Sunday,
so we're gonna
413
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:27,727
have to look real nice.
414
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:30,530
♪ ♪
415
00:16:36,054 --> 00:16:37,053
Let's do this.
416
00:16:37,146 --> 00:16:38,404
JENNY:
We slip in
417
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,314
with the rest
of the parishioners.
418
00:16:40,983 --> 00:16:44,910
BETTY:
Once we're inside,
Wayne will distract the guard.
419
00:16:45,063 --> 00:16:46,746
Security! Security! I need help!
420
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,322
What seems
to be the problem, sir?
421
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,842
Um... a squirrel took
my doughnut.
422
00:16:51,069 --> 00:16:53,069
Oh. Well, can you just
get another one?
423
00:16:53,162 --> 00:16:55,404
Not one
with jelly in the middle.
424
00:16:55,423 --> 00:16:57,089
What kind of security detail
doesn't form
425
00:16:57,242 --> 00:16:59,075
a perimeter around doughnuts?
426
00:16:59,168 --> 00:17:01,577
BETTY:
Meanwhile,
Violet and David will create
427
00:17:01,596 --> 00:17:03,746
a huge ruckus
at the Easter egg hunt.
428
00:17:03,839 --> 00:17:05,414
JENNY:
'Cause they're about
to hunt Easter eggs
429
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:07,841
with Bucklake's A/V guy
Speedy Robinson.
430
00:17:07,935 --> 00:17:10,528
He's got three toddlers,
and he'll definitely be there.
431
00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:13,439
Oh, my God! This Easter Bunny's
pants are full of eggs.
432
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,441
He must be laying them.
433
00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:16,926
(children cheering)
434
00:17:16,944 --> 00:17:19,078
No. No, no, no, no!
435
00:17:21,432 --> 00:17:23,458
JENNY:
Then a discreet hand-off...
436
00:17:25,953 --> 00:17:27,436
Keys be with you.
437
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:29,196
And also with you.
438
00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:31,774
-JENNY: ...and I get them
to Mother.
-Look!
439
00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,292
-He's in that tree!
-What tree?
440
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,555
♪ Ah, faith, hope,
love and joy ♪
441
00:17:37,782 --> 00:17:41,208
♪ Ooh... ♪
442
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,636
-Took you long enough.
-More swag, Mother?
443
00:17:43,788 --> 00:17:46,064
They were passing out
Bucklake bacon waves!
444
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:47,807
Do you know
what a bacon wave is?
445
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:50,643
So you can make crispy bacon
in the microwave, Jenny!
446
00:17:50,795 --> 00:17:53,646
Just get in the sound booth
and wait for my signal.
447
00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:56,365
-Wait, what's the signal?
-This...
448
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:02,638
What the hell?
449
00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:03,989
No, that's way too long.
450
00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:05,917
(sighs)
Okay, what about this?
451
00:18:06,811 --> 00:18:09,903
The Hammer dance? Oh,
everybody's gonna be doing that.
452
00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:11,089
Oh, you're right. Damn it.
453
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,906
Let me just think
for a second.
454
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,258
♪ Pump ♪
455
00:18:14,485 --> 00:18:16,152
♪ Pump, pump it up, pump, pump ♪
456
00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:17,987
♪ Pump, pump it up,
pump, pump ♪
457
00:18:18,005 --> 00:18:20,156
♪ Party on the block,
pump, pump it up ♪
458
00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:22,391
-♪ Pump, pump. ♪
-(cheering, whistling)
459
00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:28,422
Folks, Jesus made
the ultimate sacrifice
460
00:18:28,516 --> 00:18:30,108
when he died for our sins.
461
00:18:30,335 --> 00:18:33,018
And all he asks for in return
462
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,929
is ten to 15% of your income.
463
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,432
Now, is that so much to ask?
464
00:18:38,526 --> 00:18:40,301
Oh, uh, uh-uh.
No, ma'am, ma'am--
465
00:18:40,303 --> 00:18:42,027
we're-we're not doing
the healings yet.
466
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,696
Oh, I'm not here to be healed.
467
00:18:43,848 --> 00:18:45,772
I'm here to expose a sickness.
468
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,867
-Yours!
-(congregation gasps)
469
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,276
(murmuring)
470
00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:51,036
That's what they went with?
471
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,131
So confusing.
472
00:18:56,027 --> 00:18:56,634
Oh.
473
00:18:56,861 --> 00:18:58,711
(congregation groans)
474
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,620
Oh, Lord.
475
00:18:59,714 --> 00:19:02,047
What in the holy salvation
476
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,532
is going on here?
477
00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,292
You're going down!
478
00:19:05,386 --> 00:19:06,978
What is that, a raspberry seed?
479
00:19:07,205 --> 00:19:08,220
Ugh. What is that?
480
00:19:08,373 --> 00:19:10,731
Sorry, wrong video. Hang on.
481
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,227
Hello.
Betty Hart coming at you,
482
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:19,490
and this is why I should be
on The Amazing Race.
483
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,717
Ooh!
484
00:19:21,810 --> 00:19:23,903
I just got a splinter
in my crotchal region!
485
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,812
-Mother!
-Uh...
486
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,147
BETTY:
Come here, baby.
487
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,574
-Let Mama pet you.
-(honks)
488
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,076
Aw, now there's a good boy.
489
00:19:31,229 --> 00:19:32,912
Get to the incriminating one.
490
00:19:33,064 --> 00:19:34,397
No, no, no, no, no!
491
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:36,841
Ow! You pecked me
in my crotchal region!
492
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:39,135
♪ ♪
493
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,391
(alarm blaring)
494
00:19:48,095 --> 00:19:51,022
Security! Get this woman!
495
00:19:53,251 --> 00:19:55,526
(birds singing)
496
00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:57,195
Damn it, Mother. We had him!
497
00:19:57,346 --> 00:19:58,921
Well, if we had gone
with my plan,
498
00:19:59,014 --> 00:20:00,514
I could be in
the greenroom right now,
499
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,034
rifling through my gift basket
with Michael Strahan!
500
00:20:03,261 --> 00:20:05,352
Ugh, this whole thing
got way out of hand.
501
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,371
I just wanted to help
Pastor Joanne.
502
00:20:07,523 --> 00:20:11,042
Don't worry, Mom.
We brought backup.
503
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:13,436
(gasps)
504
00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:16,772
♪ ♪
505
00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:18,466
(gasping)
506
00:20:21,704 --> 00:20:23,779
Oh, my God, what am I doing?
507
00:20:23,872 --> 00:20:25,448
What am I doing with my life?
508
00:20:25,466 --> 00:20:28,059
I cannot deceive
these people anymore.
509
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:30,353
We got to shut this place down.
510
00:20:35,309 --> 00:20:38,903
And build a bigger place in
Florida where nobody knows me.
511
00:20:39,088 --> 00:20:40,479
On it, sir. And the hookers?
512
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,147
Yes, bring 'em all.
513
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:44,158
It's Florida. They'll love it.
514
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,084
-Wow, this place is hopping.
-JOANNE: Wow.
515
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:55,311
Lots of new faces here.
516
00:20:55,329 --> 00:20:58,372
Guess I better break out
the big guns.
517
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,741
(strums)
518
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,244
When the Lord spoke
to John the Baptist,
519
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,005
he had a lot to say.
520
00:21:06,157 --> 00:21:10,935
But in the end,
it all boiled down to one thing:
521
00:21:11,162 --> 00:21:13,104
God bless America.
522
00:21:13,331 --> 00:21:15,273
(playing
"The Star-Spangled Banner")
523
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,483
(applause)
524
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:20,853
(whoops)
525
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,855
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
526
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,431
and TOYOTA.
527
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,266
-(meows)
-(horn honks musically)
528
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,995
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org