1
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,474
[Shannon] Zipper was more than a horse.
2
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,018
He was my best friend.
3
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:21,813
I could tell him things
I couldn't tell anyone else,
4
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,690
and unlike most of my friends,
5
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,192
Zipper could actually keep a secret.
6
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,945
Trust me, if Zipper knew
you were in a threesome in college,
7
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,530
the whole fucking barn would know.
8
00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:31,656
Ben, shut up!
9
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:35,368
The good news is
I know he's in a better place right now.
10
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:36,870
[men grunting]
11
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,956
[sighs] His leg broke off!
12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,168
Oh, no! That's my beloved Zipper.
Be careful!
13
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,964
I think my best memory of Zipper
was 2018, when--
14
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,675
-[thud]
-[man 1] Fuck! I dropped him on his teeth.
15
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,219
[man 2] Well, just pick 'em up
and put 'em back in his mouth.
16
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,637
What are you? A fucking idiot?
17
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:55,805
Excuse me, gentlemen.
18
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,224
Could you please treat Zipper
with more respect?
19
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:02,395
Ma'am, it's not like Zipper's
having an open casket.
20
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,022
Who gives a shit?
21
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,148
I give a shit!
22
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,733
I give many shits!
23
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:12,280
So today, we honor the life
of the one and only Zipper.
24
00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:13,573
There will never...
25
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:14,657
[men grunting]
26
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,826
Goddamn it!
27
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,872
I want you two idiots to go away
and leave Zipper with me.
28
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:22,957
I'm gonna bury him here on the farm.
29
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,336
Anyway, I miss you, Zipper.
30
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:27,420
I love you.
31
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,130
Thank you all for coming.
32
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,094
[all gasp]
33
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,098
Same exact thing happened
at my grandma's funeral.
34
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,600
[theme music playing]
35
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,271
[whistle blows]
36
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,481
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
37
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,234
♪ Sick of my job
Sick of those damn kids ♪
38
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,444
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
39
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,114
♪ Driving me crazy
'Bout to lose my shit ♪
40
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,074
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
41
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,369
♪ Sick of my job
Sick of those damn kids ♪
42
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,329
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
43
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,623
♪ 'Bout to lose my shit, yeah ♪
44
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,667
[tires screech]
45
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,005
-♪ Hoops! ♪
-[whistle blows]
46
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:11,965
♪ Hoops! ♪
47
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:13,967
♪ Hoops! ♪
48
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,635
♪ Hoops! ♪
49
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:26,813
OK, it's that time of year again
where Principal Lowry sits there
50
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,524
and stares at me
with those weird squirrel eyes of hers.
51
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,526
Just get going, Ben.
52
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,988
And makes me read
the Lenwood Athletics Code of Conduct.
53
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:36,239
OK, here we go.
54
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,158
"Rule number one:
55
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,784
no alcohol use."
56
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,830
I mean, sure, having a couple of beers
to take the edge off never killed anyone.
57
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,583
Well, except for my Uncle Eddie
and a few close friends.
58
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:50,962
"Rule number two:
no recreational drug use of any sort."
59
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:53,089
Unless no one's looking
and you wanna try some.
60
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,215
But no hard stuff.
61
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,092
And stay away from crack cocaine.
62
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,677
Trust me, I've done it thrice.
63
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,304
Very scary drug.
64
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,848
Don't get me wrong,
first two times doing crack,
65
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,517
absolutely sensational drug.
66
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:08,396
Third time,
just as sensational, if not more.
67
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,440
OK. "Rule number three:
68
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:15,528
players must maintain a GPA
of at least 2.0."
69
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,989
Now, that should be easy
'cause you guys are nerds.
70
00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,157
We're not nerds.
71
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,244
Oh, really? Has anyone here
driven a motorcycle or gotten laid?
72
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,955
Or seen a vagina besides your mom's?
73
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,750
Exactly. You guys are nerds.
74
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,543
It's not bad. You're just nerds.
75
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,297
Last but not least, the final rule:
76
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,759
absolutely, under no circumstances,
77
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:40,678
and I don't care
how good-looking the fucking thing is,
78
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,306
no sex with animals.
79
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,475
Ben! That's not in there.
80
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,936
There's nothing about animals
in that damn book.
81
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:51,147
Fine! If Opal says fuck animals,
knock yourselves out.
82
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,858
-What?
-Just know that I think it's disgusting.
83
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,736
You should not fuck an animal.
It doesn't have a choice.
84
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:02,116
[man] Listen, Luigi.
I'll take care of him.
85
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,370
That's why they call me "The Godfather."
[chuckles]
86
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,830
Paisan, you wanna go get a calzone?
87
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,500
Man, what a classic.
88
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,877
I mean, it's no Little Man Tate,
but what is?
89
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,296
So what can I do for you, you big giraffe?
90
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:18,216
[sighs] I got a little situation
with one of those rules.
91
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,468
Don't worry, Matty. I get it.
You smoked crack.
92
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,428
Pretty sensational drug, huh?
93
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,139
If I'm honest,
I did it way more than three times.
94
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,849
And I did what I had to do to get it.
95
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,853
Coach, I'm not talking about drugs, OK?
I've never smoked crack cocaine.
96
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,816
I'm talking about the GPA rule.
Look, I got a midterm on Friday,
97
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,402
and if I don't pass,
I'm not gonna be able to play.
98
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,154
GPA? No problem. What's the class?
99
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,073
-Ethics.
-Oh, perfect!
100
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,325
Ethics is easy. Let me show you, Matty.
101
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:48,454
Say you're walking down the street, OK,
and you see a big bag of cash.
102
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,164
Fuck, yeah. Is it on fire?
103
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,332
Is what on fire?
104
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,042
Why would it be on fire?
105
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,003
No, Matty, you're missing the point.
106
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,921
It's just a bag of cash.
107
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,173
Well, if it's not on fire,
what's the catch?
108
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,717
Drop the fire stuff!
109
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,385
Matty, you see a bag of cash,
110
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:05,138
and then let's say
you see a big sign that says,
111
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,015
"I'm an old lady. I got nothing.
112
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:10,310
I lost a bag of cash.
I'm a real sad sack."
113
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:13,229
Bag of cash. Old lady. Sack of shit.
114
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,731
No one's watching.
115
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,691
What do you do?
116
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,570
I'd take the money, and...
117
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,572
And what?
118
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,074
Oh, shit. Did I say "and"? My bad.
119
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,035
So you're gonna take the old lady's money?
120
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,203
It's not like she's a real person, Coach.
121
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:32,457
She's just a stupid old lady
you created to prove a point.
122
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,668
-I can take her money.
-Fuck me. Jesus Christ. We can fix this.
123
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,255
There's only one teacher at this school
who won't pass a basketball player.
124
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:43,426
Please, whatever you do,
don't tell me you have Lonnie Seymour.
125
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,637
Fucking Lonnie. Fucking asshole prick.
126
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,557
[Ben] Oh, look who it is. Lonnie, my man.
127
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,184
Fancy meetin' you here.
128
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,352
In my classroom?
129
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,270
[laughs] That's classic Lonnie.
130
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,313
I miss this.
131
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,522
Why don't we hang out more?
132
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,523
Oh, well, I don't know,
133
00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,318
because you're a selfish person,
and I don't like you?
134
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,196
Look, I know why you're here,
and I'm not passing Matty.
135
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,406
He needs to prove
that he understands ethics, OK?
136
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,451
Look, Lonnie,
Matty's the most ethical kid I know.
137
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,286
The other day
we were walking down the street,
138
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,955
and he found a bag full of money,
not on fire,
139
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:17,001
and this kid looks at me and says,
"Coach, let's return it to the old lady."
140
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,461
I feel like this didn't happen.
141
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,421
Goddamn it, Lonnie. Just pass him!
142
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,591
Matty needs to earn his grade
or prove to me
143
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:27,804
that he has a basic understanding
of ethics, or he fails my class.
144
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,348
-End of discussion, OK?
-[door slams]
145
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,559
[Ben] Oh, you're a real righteous
piece of shit, Lonnie.
146
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,939
And the next thing you know,
147
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:41,776
Ben's trying to make me seem
like the principal that loves bestiality.
148
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,236
All right, ladies. I'm out of here.
149
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,529
It's 7:30.
150
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,155
Stay and drink with us.
151
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,033
[sighs] I think I'm gonna head over
to Billy's Saloon
152
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,326
and get a few cocktails there.
153
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,453
Barry, that don't make no sense.
154
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,790
Why would you go to another bar
when you can drink here for free?
155
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:59,001
Honestly, this joint just isn't as fun
as it used to be.
156
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,629
Maybe you just need
to liven up the vibe in here a lil'.
157
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:02,880
Get some entertainment.
158
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,465
Like long-form improv?
159
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,926
I can get my old team together,
Cookies n' Cream.
160
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,719
-[Barry] Pass, pass! Please, no.
-Oh, no.
161
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:12,056
Look, it would be great
to fire up the old stage again, I guess.
162
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:16,102
Opal also used to sing,
and that she's actually good at.
163
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,812
Music's not a bad idea.
164
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,732
Opal, would you sing here for 30 bucks
and ten percent off soft drinks?
165
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:25,111
♪ Fifteen percent, and we got a deal ♪
166
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:26,988
Damn! But ten percent.
167
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,949
♪ Fine, but free refills ♪
168
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:30,908
Uh, no.
169
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,369
♪ I overreached by quite a bit ♪
170
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,663
♪ And now I have to settle ♪
171
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:39,333
♪ With the offer
That was originally presented ♪
172
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,337
[whistle blows]
173
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,881
All right. Bring it in. Bring it in.
174
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,132
We got a lot to cover.
175
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:49,385
I'm not gonna lie.
There might be times you wanna quit,
176
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,845
but are you quitters?
177
00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:51,762
[all] No!
178
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,139
Are you lazy?
179
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,056
[all] No!
180
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,516
Are you gonna give your all
181
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,228
to help Matty pass his ethics midterm
because he's failing?
182
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,314
-[all] Wait a second.
-That's an awkward transition.
183
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:05,109
Listen, Matty came to me to fix a problem.
Let that be a lesson to you all.
184
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,403
Any problem you have, come to Coach.
185
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,864
My pediatrician says
I need to go on a diet
186
00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:12,158
because I have the risk factors
for diabetes.
187
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,410
First of all,
you shouldn't see a pediatrician anymore.
188
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,996
You should see a real doctor.
You got pubes and titties.
189
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,040
Second of all, you're a fat fuck.
190
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,124
Eat less sugar.
191
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,125
Thank you, sir.
192
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:24,712
I get pretty bad anxiety, Coach.
Sometimes I feel like people hate me.
193
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,048
That's not anxiety. People do hate you.
194
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,842
And I get it. You're hateable, Isaac.
Next question.
195
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,386
None of the guys at this school
are looking for a relationship.
196
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,554
They're fucking idiots.
197
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,765
Well, that's a good thing.
You're in high school, Scott.
198
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,351
There should be a line of boys
waiting to eat your ass.
199
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,020
Look at me, solving problems
like I'm fucking Oprah,
200
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,730
eatin' cauliflower pizza.
201
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:46,234
Now onto the only problem
I actually care about: Matty's problem.
202
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,693
How do we get him to pass?
203
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,153
Maybe Matty could just study.
204
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,156
No way. This kid has no chance
of passing the exam.
205
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,617
He's truthfully one of the dumbest people
I've ever met.
206
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,036
Coach, you know I'm here, right?
207
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,288
Of course I do!
208
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,208
That's why I was telling you
the story of my friend...
209
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,085
Natty the dumbass
210
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,086
who is a kid.
211
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,671
[laughing] Oh, man!
212
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:09,298
I would hate to be
that Natty motherfucker.
213
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,133
He sounds so stupid!
214
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,135
[laughs] He really is.
215
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,930
Good thing your name
is completely different.
216
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,141
Oh, Benjamin.
217
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,893
What an unpleasant non-surprise.
218
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,395
All right. Let's cut the shit.
219
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,689
How much is it gonna take
to bribe an ethics teacher?
220
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:25,982
There's no amount of money.
221
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,775
There's gotta be a number.
There always is.
222
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:30,486
-All right, fine. Five billion dollars.
-I knew there was a number.
223
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,404
There you go.
224
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:34,949
Connie, get in here, and give this man
a five-billion-dollar blow job.
225
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,909
Wow, it's crazy being back here.
226
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,662
I haven't been back here
since I was valedictorian.
227
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,372
That took a killer blow job too.
228
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:42,456
Connie, focus.
229
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,625
This blow job is for all the marbles.
230
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,586
It's like the Super Bowl for hookers.
231
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,380
Actually, the Super Bowl is
the Super Bowl for hookers.
232
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,007
Out! Get out, OK?
233
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,968
Oh, my God! What would dear Opal say
if she saw this is in my classroom?
234
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:54,927
"Dear Opal"?
235
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,054
Benjamin, you are bribing me
with oral pleasure,
236
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,180
and that is not gonna work!
237
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,348
"Oral pleasure"?
238
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,017
Who calls it "oral pleasure"?
239
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,853
I did not give "oral pleasure" for crack.
240
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,272
Matty's taking that test, OK?
241
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,692
I think that went well.
242
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,736
Ben, what is she doin' here?
243
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,196
-This is a school.
-It's not what it looks like.
244
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,823
She's a hooker.
245
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,033
No offense, Connie.
246
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,534
None taken, Opal.
247
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,203
Hey, I have a hunch
that Lonnie has a thing for you.
248
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,289
So maybe you do me a favor,
go out with him.
249
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,626
Tell him to pass a certain seven-footer
on a certain team.
250
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,336
What? No way, Ben!
251
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,504
I'm not gonna let you just pimp me out.
252
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,631
You get used to it.
253
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,717
Besides,
I'm performing at Barry's tonight.
254
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:39,805
I'd be there, but the circus is in town,
and those acrobats love doing crazy shit.
255
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,140
OK, bye for now.
256
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,142
You're performing at my dad's restaurant?
257
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:46,646
It'd be nice if you could try
and make it out and support me.
258
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,606
I'd love to, Opal, but I don't want to.
259
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,650
Also, if you're not gonna
give it up to Lonnie,
260
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,027
then I gotta find another way
to help Matty pass.
261
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,987
Well, Ben, you weren't the best student.
262
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,281
You got through high school.
How'd you do it?
263
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,867
[mysterious music plays]
264
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,620
We gotta cheat. It's the only way.
265
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,789
So how are the kids cheating these days?
266
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,791
Lasers? Robots? Voodoo?
267
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,793
Coach, cheating is unethical.
268
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,711
Sounds like someone wants to take a lap.
269
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,755
[Marcus] Yay! Cardio!
270
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,216
So how the fuck do you guys cheat?
271
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,260
Usually, we just look over the shoulder
of the smartest kid in class.
272
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,303
OK, that's easy.
273
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,722
Matty, who's the smartest kid
in your class?
274
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:22,682
[sighs]
275
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,725
[under breath] Daba, daba, daba...
276
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,726
Andrew Phillips.
277
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,938
OK, so if this Andrew kid
is as smart as you say,
278
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:32,149
he's probably a nerd
and won't let you cheat over his shoulder.
279
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,026
So we're gonna have to beat it out of him.
280
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,029
And this might get a little ugly,
but we have to do it.
281
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,989
Oh, that'll be real easy, Coach.
282
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,449
He has advanced Hodgkin's.
283
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,951
Advanced Hodgkin's?
284
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,828
-[tires screech]
-You guys are sick.
285
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,539
Regular Hodgkin's,
I can kick his ass, sure.
286
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,999
But advanced? No fucking way!
287
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,292
I'm not a monster.
288
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,758
I'm starting to get worried, Kirk.
These songs are raw.
289
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,469
They're from the heart.
What if people don't like it?
290
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,222
If they're from the heart,
then people will like it.
291
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,181
You're right.
292
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,684
This is how I feel,
and I have to let it out.
293
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:10,396
Yeah! All right. Let's get out
of this kitchen-slash-dressing room
294
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,648
-and go make some magic.
-[giggles]
295
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,942
Thanks, Kirk. You're always there for me.
296
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,737
I mean, just this one time,
but it was nice.
297
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,071
Let's hang out more.
298
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,448
I would love that.
299
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,616
OK. Also, just a heads-up.
300
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,494
When you're singing, I'm gonna be doing
bits of improv and fill-ins and--
301
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,412
No, no, no!
302
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,955
Don't do no improv now.
303
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,082
But I like to keep it fresh
and improvisational--
304
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,209
No, don't! I don't wanna hear this!
305
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,711
This is just from the heart.
306
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,463
Don't be messing with my shit.
307
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,007
This ain't Cookies n' Cream, motherfucker.
308
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,091
Sorry, Opal.
309
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,344
[rock music playing]
310
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,680
Ooh, definitely a cooler vibe in here.
311
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,767
Shannon, hearing some great music
will get your mind off Zipper.
312
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,853
I mean, it must be tough
to have your horse get run over and die.
313
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,397
Uh, I mean die and get run over.
314
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:56,025
Oh, sorry. I'm beatin' a dead horse.
315
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:57,735
Oh, no, I didn't!
316
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:01,113
Welcome to the return
of "Barry's After Dark."
317
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,033
It's like Barry's during the day,
but it's at night,
318
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,951
and the drinks are twice as much.
319
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:10,372
And now I'd like to welcome to the stage
Opal and the Night Owl.
320
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,916
[cheering]
321
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,378
-[drum kicks in]
-Sing your truth, girl.
322
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,341
♪ I need a man ♪
323
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:21,759
♪ Who knows how to knit ♪
324
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,594
♪ Who gets on his knees ♪
325
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:24,929
♪ Fulfills my needs ♪
326
00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:27,681
♪ And licks on my clit... ♪
327
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,724
[all gasp]
328
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,142
Oh, shit.
329
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,479
She's singing from the heart.
I thought I told her not to do that.
330
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:40,069
Guys, you look up to me
and rely on me to come up with solutions.
331
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:43,030
But I gotta be honest,
I'm all out of ideas.
332
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:44,406
Fucking Lonnie!
333
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,034
[boy] The problem is
he doesn't respect you.
334
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,537
Yeah, you're right, horse.
He doesn't respect me.
335
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,038
[boy] Actually, I said it.
336
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,373
I'm the guy in the back.
337
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,209
Oh, I see. The ass is talking.
Is this you?
338
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,460
Do you face the back?
339
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,754
[boy] No, I'm in the back,
but I face forward.
340
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,590
[chuckles] So you're basically just
eating farts all day.
341
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,384
[boy] Yeah, it's not a great job.
342
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,885
[boy 2] It's a great job for me.
343
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,137
But also, I agree with him
about the respect thing.
344
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,849
Guys, I'm getting all turned around here.
Who said that?
345
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,351
The guy farting
or the guy eatin' the farts?
346
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,311
I'm saying you got to intimidate him.
347
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,731
[classic Italian Mafia music plays]
348
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,986
[man screaming on TV]
349
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,113
You see, guys? That's how you do it.
350
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:28,158
The Godfather made him an offer
that he couldn't refuse.
351
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:31,120
He put a fucking horse's head in his bed.
352
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,371
So what's your plan?
353
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,290
You're gonna do the same thing to Lonnie?
354
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,293
I mean, how many spare horse's heads
you got laying around?
355
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:50,055
Matty, you're the strongest kid we've got.
Saw his fucking head off.
356
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,683
I don't know, Coach.
It's kind of freaking me out.
357
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,727
What are you gonna do? Kill him again?
358
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,229
Yeah, he is, man. Horses have nine lives.
359
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,856
-No, that's cats.
-No, man.
360
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:01,901
I watch the Garfield the Horse cartoon
all the time, motherfucker.
361
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,740
They don't show this part
in The Godfather,
362
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,825
and it's still three fucking hours long.
363
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,827
Ugh! It's hard to cut.
364
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,871
Oh, you wuss. Give me that thing!
365
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,749
A lot of life lessons
baked into this shit right here.
366
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,794
[grunting]
367
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,214
Fuck! Everybody always talks about
how big horses' cocks are,
368
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,300
but they never talk about the spine.
369
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,177
The spine's the impressive part.
370
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,889
Fuck it! We're going to the hardware
store, and we're getting a chainsaw.
371
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,643
[Ben] For the fiftieth time,
372
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,395
I said it might
get some horse blood on it.
373
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,689
Maybe some hair, maybe some bone.
374
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,067
But I can't see into the fucking future,
375
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:47,154
and I ain't payin' 300 fucking dollars
for a chainsaw
376
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,573
that I'm only gonna use once.
That's a rip-off!
377
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,075
And I said to you, sir,
378
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:54,954
"It's against the law to accept
a returned chainsaw with blood on it!"
379
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,623
[spits] Then fuck you up your fucking ass.
380
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:58,958
I'm outta here!
381
00:15:59,041 --> 00:15:59,959
And you know what?
382
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:03,253
We'll figure out how to get
this fucking horse's head off ourselves.
383
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,756
You lost my business for life,
motherfucker.
384
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:08,217
I'm never spending a penny in here again.
385
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,677
Oh, gumball.
386
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,136
Let me see what I got here.
387
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,099
Oh, fuck! Green.
388
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,562
Fucking green! What luck.
389
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:26,068
[groans] Three greens!
390
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,571
There's another fucking green,
I'm gonna lose it.
391
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,948
In a funny way.
392
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,202
[laughing]
393
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,662
Four greens!
394
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,123
I don't want green though.
395
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,166
Ah, blue.
396
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,502
You got change for a dollar?
397
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,047
Ah, fuck it. I'm overthinking this.
398
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,590
We needed a horse's head.
399
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,801
Well, we got a horse's head.
400
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,387
[flies buzzing]
401
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,972
Coach, do you think the full horse
402
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,974
will have the same effect
as just the head?
403
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,518
Yes, of course.
Look at this fucking thing!
404
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,646
Lonnie's gonna flip the fuck out,
and he's gonna pass Matty.
405
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,024
[as Marlon Brando]
It's an offer he can't refuse.
406
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,943
Look at me! I'm fucking Marlon Brando now.
407
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,120
[screams]
408
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,418
[screams]
409
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,756
I don't know how you got him
to refund the chainsaw,
410
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,883
but well played, you fucking geek.
411
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,469
Listen, I told you
that you cannot outsmart me.
412
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:34,428
I'm not caving.
413
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,514
If that kid cannot present
an understanding of ethics, he will fail.
414
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,224
One thing you gotta learn about me
415
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,602
is that I never quit
when it comes to my kids.
416
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,103
I'll find something on you.
417
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,814
I'm bulletproof, Ben.
There's nothing you can bribe me with.
418
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,734
I'm not married, and I have no kids.
419
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,069
Kids...
420
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,361
Kids.
421
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,696
Kids!
422
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,365
Well, I'm not gonna lie to you.
423
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,952
The offer that he couldn't refuse
was refused.
424
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:03,082
But I promised we'd get respect,
and Matty is playing on Saturday.
425
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,750
You have my word on that.
426
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,710
We just have to up the stakes.
427
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,921
So I'm thinking we move from The Godfather
428
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:12,216
to another classic film
called Leaving Neverland.
429
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:13,592
What are you talking about, Coach?
430
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:15,094
We need to make it look like
431
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,638
Lonnie's a bigger creep
than Michael Jackson,
432
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:20,015
so we'll frame him for child stuff.
433
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,141
It's brilliant.
434
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,685
I call it "Operation: Beat It."
435
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,979
-Uh, I don't know, man.
-I don't know.
436
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,486
Now, are you sure we wanna break into
a teacher's apartment,
437
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,905
or should we tell Coach to F off?
438
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,825
[sighs] I don't know,
but maybe we shouldn't break in,
439
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:42,412
but we are here, and kicking a door in
has always been on my bucket list.
440
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,872
What else is on your bucket list?
441
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,500
Kicking a tree.
Kicking a wall. Kicking a boat.
442
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,628
[glass smashes]
443
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:51,421
Coach, we're in.
444
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,133
And we don't need Operation: Beat It.
We've got something bigger.
445
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,969
An ethics teacher who doesn't recycle?
446
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:59,263
Come on, Scott.
Who gives a shit about recycling?
447
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,180
I don't recycle.
448
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,181
[all gasp]
449
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,016
-What?
-You don't recycle?
450
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,270
Can we focus?
Look, I know this planet seems important,
451
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:08,647
but without solving this,
there's no reason to live.
452
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,400
So I say we focus on this. This problem.
453
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,903
Then if we have time after,
we do the Earth thing. Deal?
454
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,365
How do we know Lonnie isn't gonna
walk in the door any second?
455
00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:19,908
Well, I took care of it.
456
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,744
-[cell phone ringing]
-You've got Lonnie.
457
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:23,829
[woman] Hey, Mr. Seymour.
458
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:24,955
Ouch!
459
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,665
[as Opal] Sorry, I mean Lonnie.
460
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:31,253
That's right. It's Opal, you hunk,
from the Lenwood School you teach at.
461
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,463
I want you to see me perform tonight.
462
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,383
Just make sure you stay
until the very last song
463
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,427
because I'm singing it for you.
464
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:44,183
-How was that?
-That was unbelievable, DJ.
465
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,142
Do you do others?
466
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:47,477
I can do your dad. [clears throat]
467
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,523
Son, sit down. There's something
I've always wanted to tell you.
468
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,983
-I love you.
-Ah, you lost it.
469
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,860
He would never say anything like that.
470
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,243
[beat kicks in]
471
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,163
♪ I need a man ♪
472
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:07,998
♪ To make me feel pretty ♪
473
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,791
♪ To lick on my puss ♪
474
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,043
♪ Grab both his nuts ♪
475
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,629
♪ And suck on my titties... ♪
476
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,339
Please stay! Please.
477
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,507
She only sings about her clit
two more times.
478
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,301
♪ ...In a small town in Kentucky ♪
479
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,929
♪ All I seem to meet ♪
480
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,473
♪ Is a bunch of shrimp-dicked honkeys ♪
481
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,559
I don't know, Kirk.
482
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,771
That was from the heart,
and people didn't love it.
483
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,648
Oh, don't let it get you down.
484
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:33,732
It wasn't you.
485
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,234
My bass tones were all off.
486
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,319
You're probably right.
You sounded like shit.
487
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,488
Thank you, Opal. I did sound like shit.
488
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,907
Oh, hey. [chuckles]
489
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,033
That was amazing.
490
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:45,327
And thanks for singing
that last song for me.
491
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,703
That song wasn't for you.
492
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,498
What? Well, then...
Why'd you say that when you called?
493
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:50,666
I didn't call you.
494
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:55,295
So you don't want me to eat your buttocks
like a hound dog
495
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,422
that just found gravy in the garbage?
496
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:58,840
Eww!
497
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,384
Those are just lyrics, honey.
498
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,511
Separate the artist from the art.
499
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,681
All right, buddy.
I think you overstayed your welcome.
500
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:13,522
♪ I've got bad news ♪
501
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,650
The Barry's After Dark reboot is over.
502
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,695
I like my regulars,
and my regulars don't like this.
503
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,156
Wanna know what's more fun
than trying to relive your past?
504
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,200
Bein' happy with who you are?
505
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,660
No, not at all.
506
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:27,577
Being idolized.
507
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:30,122
My regulars love me
because they think I'm better than them,
508
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:32,124
and that's the most important thing...
509
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,750
being better than people.
510
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,963
I guess maybe it's for the best.
I just had my ethics teacher tell me
511
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:40,924
that he wanted to put his tongue
in my no-no spot.
512
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:44,469
By the way,
my no-no spot is in my butthole.
513
00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,973
[Ben] OK, over here.
Good. Just like that.
514
00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:52,185
Look, I didn't wanna do this,
but Lonnie left me no choice.
515
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,062
Uh, not to be that guy,
516
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:59,318
but tying up kids and framing a teacher
for child abduction seems insane.
517
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,194
[Ben] I'll tell you what's insane...
518
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,238
is how airtight this plan is.
519
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,574
You see,
Matty won't have to take the midterm.
520
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:06,491
Why?
521
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,744
Because there's no teacher to give it.
522
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:09,661
Why?
523
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,789
'Cause Lonnie's in jail
for child abduction.
524
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,041
It's a win-win.
525
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:16,543
Seems like a win-lose really badly
for Lonnie.
526
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:19,254
OK, look. No one is happy about this.
527
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,714
Then why are you smiling?
528
00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:23,133
'Cause I smile when I'm conflicted.
529
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:24,092
Wait.
530
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,803
I don't know, Coach. I mean,
I don't know if we should be doing this.
531
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,472
It's just gotten too fucked up.
532
00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:31,350
Maybe I'll just take the test
and see what happens.
533
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:32,851
Matty, you'll never pass.
534
00:22:32,934 --> 00:22:34,144
You got dog brains.
535
00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:35,479
You're lovable and loyal,
536
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:37,898
but you're this close
to chasing cars all day.
537
00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:40,776
Coach, I think you're getting me mixed up
with Natty again.
538
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,528
Matty, you're saying no to Coach's plan?
539
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:44,696
Yeah. I'm out.
540
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:47,657
It's not right to ruin this guy's life
for my own benefit.
541
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,034
This is wrong.
542
00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:49,993
[slow clap]
543
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:54,331
Looks like someone
just passed his ethics midterm.
544
00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:55,499
[slow clap continues]
545
00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:58,960
Oh, I get it.
546
00:23:00,128 --> 00:23:01,296
Wait. What's happening?
547
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,923
This was your midterm.
548
00:23:03,006 --> 00:23:06,593
All you had to do was prove that you
were ethical by saying no to Coach.
549
00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:10,263
So this whole time,
you and Lonnie were just testing me?
550
00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:11,598
Yup, totally.
551
00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:15,185
I, for sure,
100 percent knew what was happening.
552
00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:17,145
No, no. Ignore your coach's clapping.
553
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,106
He didn't know a thing. He's a moron.
554
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,482
It was the perfect setup.
555
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:24,277
If you put a stop
to any of his unethical plans, you'd pass.
556
00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:25,529
Wow! [chuckles]
557
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:28,365
Hot damn, I can't believe I got an "A."
558
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,200
What? Oh, no, no.
559
00:23:30,283 --> 00:23:31,660
At most, a "D."
560
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:34,329
You did many unethical things
before you drew the line.
561
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,248
The only thing I can't figure out
562
00:23:36,331 --> 00:23:39,835
is how you tricked me into making a fool
of myself in front of Principal Lowry.
563
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:43,088
Don't be so hard on yourself,
you ethical stud.
564
00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:45,924
Well, DJ just failed his ethics midterm.
565
00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:48,135
[sighs] Coach, now I can't play.
566
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:49,136
That'll help us.
567
00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:50,929
Do we still have time
to do the Earth thing?
568
00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:54,182
Huh? Ah, the Earth will be fine.
Scott, fuck off.
569
00:23:55,058 --> 00:24:00,981
♪ My home is in Kentucky ♪
570
00:24:01,064 --> 00:24:05,819
♪ And that is where I'll die ♪
571
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:09,489
♪ I hope it's soon ♪
572
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:12,993
♪ 'Cause I presume ♪
573
00:24:14,077 --> 00:24:18,707
♪ It's all a waste of time ♪