1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,670 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:06,154 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,581 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,250 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,904 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:14,073 --> 00:00:15,014 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:16,682 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,833 --> 00:00:17,850 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:18,077 --> 00:00:21,186 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:22,855 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:23,082 --> 00:00:24,264 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,916 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:29,987 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,681 --> 00:00:33,365 (cheering) 15 00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:36,093 HAM: Has anyone seen Dad? 16 00:00:36,111 --> 00:00:37,870 I thought I saw him in the hallway earlier, 17 00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:39,613 but it was just Wolf in Dad's bathrobe, 18 00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:41,615 gently caressing the collar with his cheek. 19 00:00:41,767 --> 00:00:44,101 I was doing some laundry and it had just come out of the dryer. 20 00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:46,861 Who could resist putting on some warm, fresh Dad? 21 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,105 If he's not around, who made 22 00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:50,215 this classic Dad-style breakfast? 23 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:52,200 I did. I'm day-drinking with Cheesecake later, 24 00:00:52,294 --> 00:00:53,719 so I got to put down a base. Oh, 25 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:56,280 and I got to remember to bring a couple leashes this time. 26 00:00:56,298 --> 00:00:58,706 We always end up rescuing stray dogs when we're drunk. 27 00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:00,284 Or should I say they rescue us. 28 00:01:00,302 --> 00:01:02,210 Good morning, everybody. 29 00:01:02,304 --> 00:01:04,454 -(all gasp) -America's Next Top What the... 30 00:01:04,548 --> 00:01:05,806 Oh. Oh, wow. 31 00:01:05,958 --> 00:01:08,067 Alyson is here and she is wearing my father's shirt, 32 00:01:08,218 --> 00:01:10,051 which in every rom-com I've ever seen means 33 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,904 that she slept with my father. Oh, my God. 34 00:01:11,980 --> 00:01:14,055 She's my dad now. Wait, no, she's my mom. 35 00:01:14,149 --> 00:01:16,241 Oh, what? (grunts) I'm freaking out. 36 00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:17,725 Oh, I see. 37 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,487 You think me and your dad did the "you know what." 38 00:01:20,639 --> 00:01:22,973 We did not. I called Beef last night 39 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:25,066 -to take a look at my heat pump. -Uh-oh. 40 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,827 And the part I need has to be ordered, 41 00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:28,312 so he invited me to stay here. 42 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,646 He said I could sleep in his bed 43 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,815 and he would sleep in the car a few miles away. 44 00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:33,759 Day drinking, car sleeping? 45 00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:36,261 Okay, this might be the coolest family ever. 46 00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:37,596 I'll just be here a couple nights. 47 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,489 -And don't worry, my house pigs -(phone vibrates) 48 00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:40,915 Peanut Butter and Jam are staying with a friend. 49 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,159 Oh, look. Dad texted. 50 00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:44,770 He said, "Panicked because Alyson was in my bed 51 00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:47,439 and I actually drove to the border of Canada last night," 52 00:01:47,666 --> 00:01:50,000 and as I read this I realize I probably 53 00:01:50,002 --> 00:01:51,610 should not have said it out loud. 54 00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:53,003 Anyway, he's on his way back. 55 00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:54,671 Well, Alyson, it's nice to have you here 56 00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:56,673 and I wonder where my dad will drive to tonight. 57 00:01:56,766 --> 00:01:59,100 I hope it's Georgia and he picks up an accent. 58 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,528 Can you imagine getting tucked in with a twang? 59 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,530 Hoo-ee, y'all. 60 00:02:03,682 --> 00:02:05,031 WOLF: Oh, no way. 61 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,351 Cody Humikowski from high school works here now? 62 00:02:07,444 --> 00:02:09,444 -You want the usual? -You know what, surprise me... 63 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,521 with your absolute cheapest beer. 64 00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:12,856 Coming up, pal. 65 00:02:12,949 --> 00:02:14,282 -Hey, Cody. -What do you want? 66 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,860 A million dollars, but I will settle for a beer. 67 00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,470 -(laughs) -What? 68 00:02:18,697 --> 00:02:20,455 One beer, please. Aw, man. 69 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,956 That drives me nuts. He was the one guy 70 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,367 in high school who didn't like me. 71 00:02:23,427 --> 00:02:25,051 -And I guess he still doesn't. -No way. 72 00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,146 Everyone likes you. That's your thing-- being likable. 73 00:02:27,373 --> 00:02:29,723 But maybe he's thinking about something else. 74 00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:31,984 You never know what people are going through. Like me. 75 00:02:32,211 --> 00:02:34,227 I just found out the woman I'm dating is my aunt, 76 00:02:34,396 --> 00:02:36,638 so now our anniversary's ruined. 77 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,064 -What'll it be? -I'd like a new car, 78 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,883 -but I will settle for a beer. -(laughs) 79 00:02:39,976 --> 00:02:42,052 I hear that, my man. Coming right up. 80 00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:43,570 Jabba the What the Hell? 81 00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:45,480 All right, this has gone on long enough. 82 00:02:45,557 --> 00:02:47,482 Cody is my likability white whale, 83 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,410 and I'm gonna stab him with my charmpoon. 84 00:02:50,562 --> 00:02:52,153 ALYSON: Hi, Beef. Hope you had 85 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,246 a nice drive last night. 86 00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:54,731 Yes, I often drive all night 87 00:02:54,824 --> 00:02:55,990 through the Alaskan wilderness 88 00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:57,843 when a friend needs to use my bed. 89 00:02:57,994 --> 00:02:58,993 Nothing special. 90 00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:01,254 Well, if your non-special night driving 91 00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:02,997 did have anything to do with me, 92 00:03:03,091 --> 00:03:04,607 I wanted to tell you not to worry. 93 00:03:04,743 --> 00:03:06,852 I am currently in a committed relationship. 94 00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:09,188 Wait, really? Like, a serious relationship? 95 00:03:09,415 --> 00:03:11,190 I thought you didn't do that kind of thing. 96 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:14,342 Me either, but he just knocked me off my clogs, Beef. 97 00:03:14,436 --> 00:03:15,861 His name is Jobiathan. 98 00:03:16,088 --> 00:03:19,013 He's a doctor and he lives out near Ballistic Missile Island. 99 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,607 You know, the tiny island that still has 100 00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:23,368 a ballistic missile there, but also a very nice resort? 101 00:03:23,595 --> 00:03:26,279 Where did you meet this relationship man? 102 00:03:26,432 --> 00:03:29,041 Oh, we've only met online, but we got serious pretty quick. 103 00:03:29,192 --> 00:03:31,785 That's terrible. I mean, that you haven't met yet. 104 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,287 -What a shame. -We're gonna finally meet up in real life 105 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,048 this weekend and stay at the Ballistic Missile Resort. 106 00:03:36,275 --> 00:03:38,275 He booked the Underground Bunker Room. 107 00:03:38,277 --> 00:03:41,053 No windows, and cans of Spam everywhere. 108 00:03:41,204 --> 00:03:44,056 -It's so fun. -Well, I am happy for you. 109 00:03:44,283 --> 00:03:46,299 I guess. And Jerbriacram. 110 00:03:46,452 --> 00:03:47,968 -Jobiathan. -Joberthion. 111 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,286 Sure. 112 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:50,804 Jebarkikon. 113 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,456 (exhales) 114 00:03:52,549 --> 00:03:54,882 All right, Cody, time to get to know me. 115 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,811 Hey, there he is, the Code Man! 116 00:03:57,887 --> 00:03:59,738 -(laughs) -(groans) 117 00:03:59,889 --> 00:04:01,481 Peeing, huh? Yeah, me, too. 118 00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,391 Looks like we're on the same pee schedge. 119 00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:05,469 -Washing your hands, huh? -Uh-huh. 120 00:04:05,487 --> 00:04:07,746 I'll be doing that, too, right after I pee. 121 00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:10,231 Loving the Bleederhosen shirt B-T-dubs. 122 00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:12,492 Yeah, I'll see you out there. Got a little more peeing to do. 123 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,736 Then some hand washing, like I just said. 124 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,663 -Yep, whatever. -Cool, bud. 125 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,239 How'd it go in there? 126 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:19,983 I tried to start a urinal convo, 127 00:04:19,985 --> 00:04:21,485 -and he barely responded. -That's insane. 128 00:04:21,503 --> 00:04:23,320 Who doesn't love some tinkle talk? 129 00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:25,338 I know. I'm a great urinal conversationalist. 130 00:04:25,507 --> 00:04:27,099 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 131 00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:29,175 there's a guy in Talkeetna who doesn't like me. 132 00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:31,770 His name is "my dad," but you know what they say. 133 00:04:31,847 --> 00:04:34,422 If someone doesn't like you, you just have to accept it and-- 134 00:04:34,549 --> 00:04:37,091 Try super hard, never give up until they change their mind. 135 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:40,003 Yep, I'm gonna make Cody like me if it kills me. 136 00:04:40,096 --> 00:04:42,339 Seems like a great use of time, and I support it. 137 00:04:42,432 --> 00:04:44,007 Oh, hanging some art, Beef? 138 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,118 Re-hanging. The nail became loose. 139 00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:47,935 So I am hammering in a new one 140 00:04:48,104 --> 00:04:49,604 just to the right of the old hole. 141 00:04:49,698 --> 00:04:51,773 Oh, neat. Can't wait to see how it turns out. 142 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,850 It will look just like it did before. 143 00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:56,036 Well, like I said, neat. 144 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,204 -Uh, what the heck was that? -What do you mean? 145 00:04:58,357 --> 00:05:00,448 I mean, you said "hammering," you said "nail," 146 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,876 you said "old hole," and she didn't even say something like, 147 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:05,119 "Don't threaten me with a good time." 148 00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:08,140 Yeah, that's not the sexually tense Dad-Alyson vibe 149 00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:10,367 -we're all regrettably used to. -It's true. 150 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:12,385 My dynamic with Alyson has changed 151 00:05:12,538 --> 00:05:14,888 because she has a boyfriend now named Joblerone. 152 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,706 Whoa. She's settling down? 153 00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:17,874 How do you feel about that, Dad? 154 00:05:17,876 --> 00:05:19,133 Well, it can't be that serious. 155 00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:21,486 I mean, it's Alyson. She dates the sign spinner 156 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:24,305 in front of the tax place every tax season, 157 00:05:24,399 --> 00:05:26,550 but by April 16th she's always back playing the field. 158 00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:28,718 Okay, Beef, but if you really like Alyson, 159 00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:30,662 you might want to actually make a move sometime. 160 00:05:30,889 --> 00:05:32,572 Hmm. I'll think about it. 161 00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:34,982 Perhaps I will, as we say in Alaska, 162 00:05:35,077 --> 00:05:38,078 "throw my taxidermied elk into her lodge lobby." 163 00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,188 All right, but I wouldn't wait forever. You never know 164 00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:42,549 when a lady is gonna close up the lobby for good. 165 00:05:44,903 --> 00:05:46,178 (echoing): You never know 166 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:49,739 when a lady is going to close up the lobby for good. 167 00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:51,516 -Hello, Alyson. -Oh, hi, Beef. 168 00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:53,501 I'm just doing my nighttime wind-down routine. 169 00:05:53,595 --> 00:05:55,245 I like to stick snow in my armpits and think 170 00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:57,672 of funny comebacks I should've said during the day. 171 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,250 Oh. Good. Well, I was wondering 172 00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:02,861 if you might want to walk around 173 00:06:03,012 --> 00:06:04,938 the house once... or something. 174 00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:06,590 Sometime. It doesn't have to be now. 175 00:06:06,608 --> 00:06:08,942 Beef, I can tell you're trying to flirt with me, 176 00:06:09,094 --> 00:06:11,444 but the relationship between me and Jobiathan 177 00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:14,264 is a little more serious than I let on. 178 00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:17,601 -What do you mean? -I'm driving to Ballistic Missile Island tomorrow 179 00:06:17,694 --> 00:06:19,044 to get married to him. 180 00:06:19,271 --> 00:06:20,995 Married?! Markie's Post. 181 00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:23,048 The lodge lobby is closed. 182 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:29,112 So you said yes to marrying a man you haven't met 183 00:06:29,131 --> 00:06:30,964 -named Jacabrocky? -Jobiathan. 184 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,283 And, yes, he hid a digital engagement ring 185 00:06:33,301 --> 00:06:34,876 in my digital soufflé. 186 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,787 -I almost digitally choked. -How romantic. 187 00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:39,789 I find him so interesting. 188 00:06:39,808 --> 00:06:41,549 He's just a solid guy. Not flashy. 189 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,718 Actually, he kind of reminds me of you, Beef. 190 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,462 At least in his messages. 191 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,571 Oh. Cool. 192 00:06:46,798 --> 00:06:49,966 You know, I, uh, actually have an errand to run 193 00:06:50,059 --> 00:06:52,135 at Ballistic Missile Island. 194 00:06:52,228 --> 00:06:54,154 Oh, really? What do you need to do there? 195 00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:56,581 I need to pick up a wrench 196 00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:58,566 from a guy at a store. 197 00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:00,660 So, I could go with you. 198 00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:02,087 Hmm, well, if you drove, 199 00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:03,922 that would free me up to think my thoughts. 200 00:07:04,149 --> 00:07:06,983 Who knows, uh, maybe even have second thoughts. 201 00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:08,501 But fair warning, I tend to be 202 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,262 pretty free with my farts on road trips. 203 00:07:10,489 --> 00:07:12,431 If you're okay with that, I'm happy for the company. 204 00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:15,082 Oh, no-no problem. On road trips, I consume 205 00:07:15,177 --> 00:07:17,436 nothing but coffee, Corn Nuts and licorice. 206 00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,938 The resulting smells are deeply unpleasant. 207 00:07:20,165 --> 00:07:21,998 Sounds like we're a perfect match. 208 00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:22,941 (sighs) 209 00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:24,517 WOLF: Welp, I'm headed 210 00:07:24,594 --> 00:07:26,427 -to the curling club. -Uh, what's going on 211 00:07:26,521 --> 00:07:28,262 with that shirt there, babe? Did you make it with a Sharpie? 212 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,448 Yep. Looks great, right? 213 00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:31,599 This guy Cody from high school is the bartender 214 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,267 at the curling rink and he likes this band, 215 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:36,012 but he doesn't like me, but when he sees this shirt, 216 00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:38,290 we'll be on a rocket ship to Homie Heaven. 217 00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:40,200 (sighs) Babe, are you doing this again? 218 00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:42,127 -Doing what? -Going all-out to make sure 219 00:07:42,204 --> 00:07:44,779 -absolutely everyone likes you. -I don't do that. 220 00:07:44,873 --> 00:07:46,690 Sweetie, you still go to your middle school bully's 221 00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:48,692 improv shows. You even needed my ex-boyfriend 222 00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,084 to like you for some reason. 223 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:53,029 Happy birthday, buddy. Be on the lookout for a package. 224 00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:55,307 Hint: I hope you like making soda. 225 00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:56,382 Who is this? 226 00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:58,259 Uh-huh, and then what happened? 227 00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,719 -He started to like you. -Exactly. 228 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,147 I wore him down and now he likes my Facebook posts. 229 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,483 Okay, but sometimes you put a lot of energy 230 00:08:04,559 --> 00:08:06,151 into people who don't deserve it. 231 00:08:06,302 --> 00:08:07,894 I just don't want to find out one day that you've become 232 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,547 pen pals with a serial killer and you gave him our address. 233 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,232 Who, Charlie the Choker? Oh, don't worry. 234 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,975 There's no way that guy's getting paroled. 235 00:08:14,069 --> 00:08:16,386 -Wolf! -Horrific crimes. Sweet guy, though. 236 00:08:16,404 --> 00:08:19,055 Well, off to make Cody my bro-dy. 237 00:08:19,074 --> 00:08:20,165 HONEYBEE: Why did you want to meet us 238 00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:22,167 -in the panic room? -Because I am panicking. 239 00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:24,485 Is Mountain Man Marv on our property again? 240 00:08:24,654 --> 00:08:26,396 He'll leave after he finishes filling 241 00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:28,064 his pillowcases with pine cones. 242 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:30,066 It's not that. Alyson is getting married. 243 00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:32,252 What?! To that Internet guy? When? 244 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,404 It's happening tomorrow on Ballistic Missile Island. 245 00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:36,348 I offered to drive her to her marriage 246 00:08:36,575 --> 00:08:38,016 and take the ferry with her and she said 247 00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:40,001 she was gonna fart a lot, and I said... 248 00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:41,578 Beef, Beef. Slow down. Slow down. 249 00:08:41,596 --> 00:08:43,246 Okay, so you're driving her to get married. 250 00:08:43,306 --> 00:08:45,506 -That is actually great news. -What? No, it's not. 251 00:08:45,584 --> 00:08:47,675 It's terrible. She was the first person 252 00:08:47,769 --> 00:08:50,103 who made me feel anything after Kathleen left. 253 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,439 And I guess I hoped she'd always be out there 254 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,368 as a someday possibility, but instead 255 00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:59,871 Alyson has given her heart to a man she hasn't met 256 00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,765 with a name I cannot pronounce. 257 00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:02,949 Beef, relax. 258 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,784 This drive is actually the perfect setup 259 00:09:04,936 --> 00:09:07,103 for a romantic comedy. Trust us, we've seen 'em all. 260 00:09:07,105 --> 00:09:09,697 Yeah, we all watch the Lifemark Channel constantly. 261 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,608 We've even seen Swipe North, 262 00:09:11,701 --> 00:09:13,367 about that girl who dates Santa. 263 00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,961 Ah, I have actually seen that one. 264 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,705 It gave me hope. Santa is much older than me, 265 00:09:17,799 --> 00:09:19,115 and he managed to find love. 266 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:21,117 Beef, this car trip is the perfect opportunity 267 00:09:21,136 --> 00:09:22,894 to stop Alyson from getting married. 268 00:09:23,121 --> 00:09:24,712 You just need to make a list of everything 269 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,972 you would have liked to do with her if you were dating 270 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,548 and squeeze it into the road trip. 271 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,309 Show her what she'd be missing out on with you 272 00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:31,144 if she goes through with this. 273 00:09:31,296 --> 00:09:33,313 Hmm. I do love lists. 274 00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:35,222 But it's only a one-hour drive 275 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,134 and then a 45-minute ferry to BM Island. 276 00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:39,411 That's not a lot of time. 277 00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:41,729 It's the perfect run time for a romantic comedy. 278 00:09:41,898 --> 00:09:43,473 -What should we call it? -How about 279 00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:46,142 Beef Drives Alyson to Marriage Place? 280 00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:47,977 I mean, it says what it is in the title, 281 00:09:47,996 --> 00:09:50,213 and test audiences love that. 282 00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:52,573 -Cody?! -(groans) 283 00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:54,575 Crazy running into you here. 284 00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:56,486 You mean at my job where I work? 285 00:09:56,504 --> 00:09:58,930 (brays) Hey, I just remembered that 286 00:09:59,157 --> 00:10:01,082 yesterday you were wearing that Bleederhosen shirt 287 00:10:01,284 --> 00:10:03,176 and today I'm wearing my Bleederhosen shirt. 288 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,677 Love that band. 289 00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:06,346 Oh, I borrowed that shirt from my roommate when I was 290 00:10:06,498 --> 00:10:07,755 looking through his closet for money. 291 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,332 I thought Bleederhosen was a store. 292 00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:11,776 Oh, that reminds me, I also brought you a muffin basket. 293 00:10:11,928 --> 00:10:15,505 And yes, good eye, every muffin does have a pinwheel in it. 294 00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,782 I'm allergic to muffins. And pinwheels 295 00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:19,859 are way too much work. All that breathing? (scoffs) No thanks. 296 00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:23,196 Totally. Well, see you at the bar right now when I sit down. 297 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,438 (sighs) 298 00:10:24,532 --> 00:10:26,625 Allow me to get the door for you. 299 00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:28,701 And I don't mean to imply that you don't know 300 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,778 -how to open a door. -I know, Beef. 301 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,856 But I appreciate the clarity. 302 00:10:32,874 --> 00:10:34,190 "Open and close car door for her." 303 00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:37,284 Done. Next up, "Make her a mixtape." 304 00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:39,045 One step ahead of you, list. 305 00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:42,090 I have prepared a mixtape for our journey. 306 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,533 Aw, that's sweet, Beef. 307 00:10:43,535 --> 00:10:45,551 Donnie Wahlberg made me a mixtape once. 308 00:10:45,704 --> 00:10:47,479 It was just 90 minutes of the Entourage theme. 309 00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:50,131 Well, this mix is mostly The Cranberries. 310 00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:51,708 I'm a bit of a "bog boy." 311 00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:53,134 Oh, yeah, I'm also a fan-berry. 312 00:10:53,228 --> 00:10:54,544 BEEF: So far, so good. 313 00:10:54,637 --> 00:10:57,138 So, Alyson, I was thinking that we could have 314 00:10:57,232 --> 00:10:58,548 a thoughtful conversation 315 00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:00,474 in which we get to know each other better. 316 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,902 I'll start: I've never used lotion. 317 00:11:03,054 --> 00:11:05,738 -I'm naturally moist. Oh. -(snoring) 318 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,390 (snoring continuing) 319 00:11:07,409 --> 00:11:09,559 -Alyson, uh, we're here. -(snorts) 320 00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:11,169 Oh, oh. (laughs) Oh, wow. 321 00:11:11,396 --> 00:11:13,579 Oh, I can't believe I slept the whole way. 322 00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:16,416 Ooh. Hope I wasn't farting too much in my sleep. 323 00:11:16,584 --> 00:11:18,176 You did fart. A lot. 324 00:11:18,327 --> 00:11:20,161 Yeah, that makes sense. I was having a dream 325 00:11:20,255 --> 00:11:22,013 where I could fart so strongly that my anus worked 326 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,182 as a sort of jetpack, and then I bonked my head 327 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:25,925 -on the bottom of a helicopter. -(horn blows) 328 00:11:26,077 --> 00:11:28,228 Oh, there it is, the Love Choo Choo. 329 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,338 Why would they call a boat a train? 330 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,340 Well, many of the people aboard are on their way to BM Island 331 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,194 for a quickie marriage, so they gave it a fun theme. 332 00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:37,770 But a boat already has a theme. 333 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,923 The theme is a boat. 334 00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:42,108 CAPTAIN (over P.A.): Calling all lovers, the Love Choo Choo 335 00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:44,685 will now begin boarding for Ballistic Missile Island. 336 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:48,598 Well, looks like I'm a 45-minute ferry ride away 337 00:11:48,691 --> 00:11:51,267 from becoming Mrs. Jobiathan Flavor. 338 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:55,255 Joey from Friends, lend me your confidence. 339 00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,611 CAPTAIN (over P.A.): Folks, we'll be at Ballistic Missile Island 340 00:12:01,704 --> 00:12:02,536 in about 30 minutes. 341 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,871 Uh, Alyson? 342 00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:05,890 -Yes, Beef? -I was thinking-- 343 00:12:06,117 --> 00:12:08,209 -wind, right? -What about it? 344 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,954 -Uh, it's profound. -Well, I guess it is. 345 00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:12,564 -Thanks, Beef. -(phone rings) 346 00:12:12,715 --> 00:12:13,881 Excuse me a moment. 347 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,567 -Hello? -Hey, Dad. 348 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,236 How's Beef Drives Alyson to Marriage Place going? 349 00:12:18,387 --> 00:12:20,146 Terrible. She slept the whole way here. 350 00:12:20,298 --> 00:12:22,240 And now I only have 30 minutes left 351 00:12:22,391 --> 00:12:24,058 and there are so many items on my list. 352 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,152 Like slow dancing, spontaneous whittling 353 00:12:26,304 --> 00:12:27,987 and kissing beneath some fireworks. 354 00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:29,806 I didn't even bring any fireworks with me. 355 00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:32,233 -Rookie mistake. -Don't give up hope just yet, Beef. 356 00:12:32,401 --> 00:12:34,827 In a romantic comedy, when a couple is meant to be, 357 00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,403 there's always a deus ex machina. 358 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,165 Oh, yeah, the deus ex machina is something unexpected 359 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,075 that happens in a rom-com that makes it possible 360 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,910 for the leads to spend more time together. 361 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,929 Like in Swipe North when Anne Hathaway and Santa 362 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,081 got stuck under that giant candy cane. 363 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,825 I don't think that'll happen here, 364 00:12:48,843 --> 00:12:50,435 but if I see a giant candy cane, 365 00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:52,253 I will try to pull it on top of us. 366 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,939 Okay, but, Beef, listen, this is very important. 367 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,849 If there is a deus ex machina, 368 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,018 use the time to make this a real date. 369 00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:00,278 Tell her everything you want to say. 370 00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:01,687 'Cause after the deus ex machina, 371 00:13:01,856 --> 00:13:03,172 well, that's when the lead decides 372 00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,282 that she's gonna marry the wrong guy 373 00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:05,858 or hold out for the right one. 374 00:13:05,935 --> 00:13:08,678 Like how Anne Hathaway almost married the Easter Bunny. 375 00:13:08,696 --> 00:13:09,937 Oh, I hated that bunny. 376 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,790 So arrogant, driving that BMW around. 377 00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:13,199 -(thudding) -Wait, something's happening. 378 00:13:13,351 --> 00:13:14,700 I'll call you guys back. 379 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,519 CAPTAIN: We seem to be having engine trouble, 380 00:13:16,538 --> 00:13:17,945 so we're stranded for the moment. 381 00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:19,947 In the meantime, why not take advantage 382 00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:22,300 of the Love Choo Choo's many entertainment and food options. 383 00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:25,595 The deus ex machina. It's real. 384 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,215 -How you doing? -What? 385 00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,884 Sorry, I was imitating Joey from Friends. 386 00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:33,369 -Leave me alone. -You got it. 387 00:13:33,388 --> 00:13:36,539 Look, Alyson, I know you're getting married tomorrow 388 00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:39,375 and I respect that, but I was wondering, 389 00:13:39,394 --> 00:13:41,561 would you want to go on one last date 390 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:42,970 with me? 391 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,214 You see, in high school, Kathleen just told me 392 00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:48,051 I was her boyfriend one day, and I agreed. 393 00:13:48,069 --> 00:13:50,995 So, I have never actually been on a real date. 394 00:13:51,147 --> 00:13:53,480 -Not even with a ghost? -Uh, no. 395 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,408 -Not even with a ghost. -Well, sure, Beef. 396 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,061 I'd love to pass the time on the Love Choo Choo with you. 397 00:13:58,079 --> 00:14:00,396 It'll be my last round of Donkey Kong 398 00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:01,914 before I leave the arcade for good. 399 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:05,568 Care to hitch your arm to the old Beef wagon? 400 00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:07,178 -Cody! -Whoa! 401 00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,589 -Taking out the trash, huh? -What the hell, man? 402 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,666 Sorry. So, I was thinking maybe we take a drive 403 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,094 and jam out to some tunes. Maybe grub some chow. 404 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,838 Just, like, blow the roof off this town, you know? 405 00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:19,432 (groans) If I come with you, 406 00:14:19,584 --> 00:14:21,100 will you promise to stop bothering me? 407 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,343 And do you also promise not to kill me? 408 00:14:22,437 --> 00:14:24,562 I so promise not to kill you, Cody. 409 00:14:24,789 --> 00:14:25,846 So promise. 410 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,515 ♪ We made a love casserole ♪ 411 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,260 ♪ Yeah, we made it from our past, you know ♪ 412 00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:33,854 ♪ We took the leftovers from our lives ♪ 413 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,766 ♪ Put 'em in a pan and we added chives ♪ 414 00:14:36,901 --> 00:14:38,543 ♪ We made a love casserole ♪ 415 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:42,029 ♪ And we made it so much it's gonna last-erole ♪ 416 00:14:42,123 --> 00:14:43,956 ♪ We put it in the fridge next to the chicken ♪ 417 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,368 ♪ It'll never go bad or give us botulism ♪ 418 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,555 ♪ We made a love casserole! ♪ 419 00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:52,706 There's the old miss. 420 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,300 The old lady. 421 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,469 Our old high school. And there's the old school bench 422 00:14:56,621 --> 00:14:58,471 where I diarrhea-ed my pants. (chuckles) 423 00:14:58,623 --> 00:15:00,214 Had to call my dad to pick me up. 424 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:02,400 -And that corner is where he picked me up. -Okay. 425 00:15:02,627 --> 00:15:04,310 Pretty fun night, huh? You know, Codes, 426 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,738 I know we never got to know each other in high school, 427 00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:08,406 but now that you see how cool I am, 428 00:15:08,557 --> 00:15:10,133 you know there's no reason not to like me. 429 00:15:10,151 --> 00:15:11,725 (scoffs) Who said I didn't like you? 430 00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:13,136 I just never thought about you. 431 00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:14,820 But now, since you forced me to think about you, 432 00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,656 I guess you're... fine. 433 00:15:16,808 --> 00:15:18,824 Oh, wow. That is so good to hear. 434 00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:20,401 And now that you've opened the friendship door, 435 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,921 how about I get a little peek inside your personality house? 436 00:15:23,148 --> 00:15:25,498 What are you into these days, Cody? Music, animals? 437 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,908 Nah, I hate music. And animals are the worst. 438 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,261 I had a dog once, not anymore. 439 00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:32,079 See you in hell, Mr. Pillowsby. 440 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,006 Oh, well, there must be something you're into. 441 00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:35,099 Uh, I don't know. 442 00:15:35,326 --> 00:15:36,917 I like shooting stop signs with my shotgun. 443 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,011 I like strip clubs, harassing nerds online, 444 00:15:39,164 --> 00:15:42,423 setting sheds on fire, stomping on plants, stuff like that. 445 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,608 Oh. Huh. 446 00:15:43,835 --> 00:15:45,835 That stuff sounds, uh... fun. 447 00:15:45,853 --> 00:15:47,111 Hey, you want to see something funny? 448 00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:48,947 -Well, uh, sure. -(grunts) 449 00:15:49,023 --> 00:15:50,690 CODY: Dumbass tree. 450 00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:52,599 Oh. (weak chuckle) Yeah. 451 00:15:52,694 --> 00:15:54,177 Funny. (chuckles) 452 00:15:54,195 --> 00:15:56,679 Thank you for joining me for a great first date. 453 00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:59,182 Perhaps you can give me some pointers for my next one. 454 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,683 I don't know who it will be with, but I'm pretty sure 455 00:16:00,685 --> 00:16:03,536 I'll take her to the grain mill. It's a mill. 456 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,204 There's a lot of grain... You know what, 457 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,522 I don't want to ruin it for you 458 00:16:06,541 --> 00:16:08,282 in case Jamiroquai takes you there. 459 00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:10,617 I don't really think you need dating tips, Beef. 460 00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:11,970 I've had a lot of fun. 461 00:16:12,197 --> 00:16:14,030 Just maybe stop putting so much pressure 462 00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,622 on yourself so you can relax. 463 00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:18,034 (grunts) When you said "relax," I tensed up. 464 00:16:18,052 --> 00:16:20,703 How do you do it? What is your secret, Alyson? 465 00:16:20,722 --> 00:16:23,039 I guess I've just never taken romance all that seriously. 466 00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:25,208 I've dated around so much that marriage and monogamy 467 00:16:25,226 --> 00:16:27,301 actually seem like a fun, new adventure. 468 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,713 And Jobiathan seems neat, so why not settle down? 469 00:16:30,732 --> 00:16:33,065 Or settle for? 470 00:16:33,218 --> 00:16:36,143 -I don't know. -Alyson, I'm sure Jabanaram 471 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,905 is neat, but you are leagues beyond neat, 472 00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:42,391 and you should absolutely not settle. 473 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:44,727 You have so many good qualities. 474 00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:46,579 You're kind and interesting, but one of my 475 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,173 favorite things about you is that you can't help 476 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,034 being yourself, and for someone who has trouble 477 00:16:52,086 --> 00:16:54,253 reading people, I appreciate that. 478 00:16:54,405 --> 00:16:56,422 Because whatever you do or say, 479 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,999 I know you're genuinely being you. 480 00:16:59,093 --> 00:17:01,519 Wow, Beef. Even Dave, the spider wrangler 481 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:05,314 I lived with on Montezuma Beach, never saw me that clearly. 482 00:17:08,603 --> 00:17:11,437 CAPTAIN: Hope you're enjoying our nightly fireworks presentation. 483 00:17:11,589 --> 00:17:15,241 Looks like we're finally back en route, folks. Choo choo! 484 00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:22,206 Well, I guess this is where we part ways, Mrs. Flavor. 485 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:24,267 I'm sorry about kissing you. 486 00:17:24,285 --> 00:17:27,045 It's okay. In case you didn't notice, I kissed you back. 487 00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:29,213 You know, Beef, I'm starting to wonder 488 00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:31,791 if Jobiathan really is the guy I want to settle down with. 489 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,552 Alyson? Yes, I am Jobiathan. 490 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,113 And yes, I look different than I do online. 491 00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:39,448 And yes, I do have several more children at home. 492 00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:41,284 And yes, I am married to one other woman 493 00:17:41,377 --> 00:17:43,969 who was recently jailed due to a misunderstanding, 494 00:17:44,122 --> 00:17:46,122 but she knows about you, and we thought 495 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,215 we could have what we call a "marriage Neapolitan." 496 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,925 You'll be the strawberry. 497 00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:51,718 (robotically): I am a robot. 498 00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:54,072 Nice to meet you, human. 499 00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:56,482 Oh. Okay. Yes, uh, sir, 500 00:17:56,634 --> 00:17:58,984 could you please stop bothering my robot? 501 00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:00,636 -You're draining her battery. -Sorry. 502 00:18:00,638 --> 00:18:02,062 It's just that your robot looks exactly 503 00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:03,489 like a woman I was supposed to marry. 504 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,975 I get that all the time. Come on, robot. 505 00:18:05,993 --> 00:18:07,660 Let's get back on the ferry. 506 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,736 You're late for robot class. 507 00:18:09,831 --> 00:18:11,756 (robotically): I love to learn... 508 00:18:11,983 --> 00:18:13,925 -Alyson? Are you Alyson? -Mm. 509 00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:15,576 WOLF: Well, here we are back at your work. 510 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,320 -So, goodbye. -Hey, you want to keep going? 511 00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:19,505 We could hit the 24-hour gun range in Death Cliff. 512 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,432 Beat the crap out of some lawn ornaments 513 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,493 or just score some coke and chuck crap at cars? 514 00:18:24,587 --> 00:18:26,587 Maybe not tonight. I'm a little tired, 515 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,773 so how about a gun range-vandalism rain check? 516 00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,424 Come on, man. We're friends now. 517 00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:32,944 Hey, I'll head to the dumpster and get some chucking stuff. 518 00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:35,671 Okay, cool. I'll just wait right here. 519 00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,115 Don't you worry about that. 520 00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:40,843 Well, Cody is not 521 00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:42,102 who I thought he was. 522 00:18:42,271 --> 00:18:44,104 And I know this may sound super harsh, 523 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,015 but I don't think I care if he likes me. 524 00:18:46,033 --> 00:18:48,108 Aw, man. Now I feel bad I said that. 525 00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:49,443 No, Wolf. That's great. 526 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,203 -It's great that you said that. -It is? 527 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,856 Listen, I get that you feel bad when people don't like you 528 00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,133 because being likable is your thing. 529 00:18:55,284 --> 00:18:57,784 But save your energy for the people you like, 530 00:18:57,879 --> 00:19:00,287 such as me and our eventual kids. 531 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,697 And that grumpy guy at the ice cream store 532 00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:03,032 who's always mean to me. 533 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:04,625 -No, not him. -Right, right, right. 534 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,293 BEEF: I'm sorry things didn't work out 535 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,887 the way you were expecting, 536 00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:09,405 but I had a pretty fun night. 537 00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:12,650 And telling that wizard you were a robot was very exciting. 538 00:19:12,877 --> 00:19:14,152 I had fun, too. It's weird. 539 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,062 I never feel insecure, but I guess I'm wondering. 540 00:19:17,215 --> 00:19:18,990 If I hadn't been about to get married, 541 00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:21,567 would you still have said all those things 542 00:19:21,719 --> 00:19:22,809 you said to me tonight? 543 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,904 Alyson, I meant everything that I said 544 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,722 on board the Love Choo Choo. 545 00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:29,392 You are a true catch, and I'm literally a fisherman, 546 00:19:29,410 --> 00:19:30,910 so I know what I'm talking about. 547 00:19:31,078 --> 00:19:33,504 But I realized something about myself 548 00:19:33,731 --> 00:19:35,080 during our journey. 549 00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,400 Was it that you want to get a cape like Jobiathan? 550 00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,343 Ooh, got to admit, that man can dress. 551 00:19:39,495 --> 00:19:40,678 No, it's not that. 552 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,162 It's that after we kissed, 553 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:45,591 all I wanted to do was, well, marry you? 554 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:46,909 And have four kids? 555 00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,019 That's the only second step 556 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:49,745 I have ever taken in a relationship. 557 00:19:49,838 --> 00:19:51,022 Hmm. I get that. 558 00:19:51,249 --> 00:19:53,916 So I must not be ready for a regular second step, 559 00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,885 because I don't know how to think differently yet. 560 00:19:56,921 --> 00:19:58,087 We're two very different people 561 00:19:58,105 --> 00:20:00,423 who have led two very different lives. 562 00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:02,200 You had four kids right out of high school 563 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:05,352 and I once spent two years urban backpacking through Dallas. 564 00:20:05,446 --> 00:20:08,855 Yeah. I'm thinking that before I make another big commitment, 565 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:11,709 I should maybe even date around. 566 00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:14,270 You should absolutely date around. 567 00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,196 And don't even think about settling down again 568 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,882 until you live life a little. 569 00:20:18,109 --> 00:20:19,366 You're gonna do great out there. 570 00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:20,793 -Thank you, Alyson. -In fact, 571 00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,445 I'm gonna get you a mop, 572 00:20:22,463 --> 00:20:24,613 cause you're gonna be cleaning up, Beef. 573 00:20:24,632 --> 00:20:26,298 All right, off we go. 574 00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:28,133 Should we do another shot of cranberry juice? 575 00:20:28,286 --> 00:20:29,543 Make mine a double. 576 00:20:29,637 --> 00:20:31,804 ♪ Do you have to, do you have to ♪ 577 00:20:31,956 --> 00:20:33,973 ♪ Do you have to let it linger? ♪ 578 00:20:34,049 --> 00:20:35,641 JUDY: And now 579 00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:38,811 I present to you Swipe North 2: Still Swiping. 580 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,905 Did you guys know that Mark Ruffalo stayed in character 581 00:20:41,056 --> 00:20:43,223 the whole time they shot the movie? 582 00:20:43,392 --> 00:20:46,077 Even his real-life wife and kids had to call him Santa Claus. 583 00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:48,137 I read online that Anne Hathaway's character, Heather, 584 00:20:48,155 --> 00:20:50,114 gets a job in Seattle and she and Santa have to try 585 00:20:50,266 --> 00:20:52,157 to make a long-distance relationship work. 586 00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:53,751 By God, I'm rooting for them. 587 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,403 Shh. Close your cocoa flaps. It's starting. 588 00:20:56,497 --> 00:20:59,164 ♪ Do you really think I can find love once more? ♪ 589 00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:02,075 ♪ I just uploaded your profile so say hello to l'amour ♪ 590 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,320 ♪ I'm gonna swipe north on finding love again ♪ 591 00:21:04,338 --> 00:21:07,323 ♪ I'm saying yes to Tabitha, Brandy, Anne and Jen. ♪ 592 00:21:07,416 --> 00:21:09,508 ♪ Congrats, you've got a match, her name is Maddison ♪ 593 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,436 ♪ She likes peppermint, snow and large abdomens ♪ 594 00:21:12,663 --> 00:21:15,514 ♪ You got to write her back, ask her more about herself ♪ 595 00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:17,441 ♪ And tell her that I live with 600 elves ♪ 596 00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:20,093 ♪ Gonna swipe north, hope she's a fan of dairy ♪ 597 00:21:20,262 --> 00:21:23,506 ♪ And eating only cookies, feeling super merry ♪ 598 00:21:23,524 --> 00:21:25,283 ♪ Gonna swipe north, gonna really believe ♪ 599 00:21:25,434 --> 00:21:26,951 ♪ There'll be a new girlfriend ♪ 600 00:21:27,061 --> 00:21:28,527 ♪ For me under the Christmas tree. ♪ 601 00:21:28,679 --> 00:21:29,770 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 602 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,206 and TOYOTA.