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00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,578
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:05,912
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:06,065 --> 00:00:07,673
-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:10,083
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:13,737
♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
6
00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:14,905
♪ Catch some fish ♪
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00:00:14,998 --> 00:00:16,515
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
8
00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:17,741
♪ Wow ♪
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00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:21,169
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,429
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
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00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,097
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
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00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,673
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
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♪ In the Great North. ♪
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(cheering)
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JUDY:
Whoo! Picture day.
16
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One stool, one vinyl backdrop,
17
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,522
one yearbook,
a million possibilities.
18
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,042
And, big fanfare...
(sings fanfare)
19
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,026
Judy and I won Best Siblings
20
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,436
in the student superlatives,
21
00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,213
so we'll be getting
a picture taken together.
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00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:49,790
Wow, congrats.
In my day
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00:00:49,942 --> 00:00:52,609
I was voted Weirdest Laugh.
Boy, was that way off.
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00:00:52,611 --> 00:00:54,111
(deranged laugh)
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00:00:54,129 --> 00:00:55,870
I preordered the package
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00:00:55,964 --> 00:00:57,464
with each of your pictures
on a mug.
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00:00:57,616 --> 00:00:59,707
There's nothing like drinking
out of your own children
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00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,134
to start your day off right.
29
00:01:01,287 --> 00:01:04,021
MOON: Oh, no. They're building
something right here?
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Dagmar.
31
00:01:07,459 --> 00:01:10,218
Ham, the day we always feared
has arrived.
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Operation Dagmar phase two.
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Dagmar? That smelly old coconut
that you carved a face into
34
00:01:15,058 --> 00:01:16,483
and then carried around
for months?
35
00:01:16,635 --> 00:01:19,136
That "smelly old coconut"
was like a brother to me.
36
00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:22,656
Huh, Coconut Tobin actually
does sound like a name
37
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of a sibling we would have.
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I will admit that Dagmar,
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00:01:25,402 --> 00:01:26,993
how shall I say it? Reeked.
40
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But other than that,
he was a good guy.
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00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:31,648
He was a great guy.
We were inseparable.
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You had Judy, I had Dagmar.
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00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,152
Why are we even
talking about him?
44
00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:36,578
-Didn't Dad make you
throw him out?
- No.
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He said I couldn't keep him
in the house anymore,
46
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so I buried him in a box
in the woods.
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00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:43,602
Mm-hmm. And I went with Moon
and buried my favorite issue
48
00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:45,086
of Tractor magazine.
49
00:01:45,164 --> 00:01:47,106
You know, so Dagmar would have
something to read.
50
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:48,181
Boy, I loved that issue.
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00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,683
Can't wait to hear
Dagmar's thoughts.
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00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,852
Well, on the way to school,
I saw that they're
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putting in a Tramp Scamps
Trampoline Park
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on Dagmar's burial ground.
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So we got to go dig him
and the Tractor magazine up.
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00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:01,194
There were cement mixers there
already, so it's now or never.
57
00:02:01,347 --> 00:02:02,863
But, you guys,
it's picture day.
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00:02:03,015 --> 00:02:04,514
Well, maybe you could sit
for my picture,
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00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,199
holding up my photo
from last year.
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00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:08,610
Or, or, or, your beautiful,
talented,
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00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,630
multi-hyphenate sister plays
the role of a lifetime today:
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00:02:11,857 --> 00:02:12,873
both of her brothers.
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00:02:13,025 --> 00:02:14,782
It'll be tricky, sure,
but if Kevin Jonas
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00:02:14,951 --> 00:02:16,360
can fool the world
into believing that
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00:02:16,378 --> 00:02:18,378
he has two other brothers...
(laughs)
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00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:20,622
...then I'm pretty confident
I can do it, too.
67
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,141
Now, I will need your clothes.
68
00:02:22,368 --> 00:02:24,868
Mm, leaving school naked
seems risky,
69
00:02:24,887 --> 00:02:26,294
but if that's what it takes...
70
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,737
Oh, the drama department.
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00:02:27,797 --> 00:02:29,039
We can get you costumes to wear.
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00:02:29,057 --> 00:02:30,983
And Ham and I can borrow bikes
from our friends.
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00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:34,653
All right, let's go secure
the Dag and the mag.
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00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,381
-Okay, now a stop for...
-(sighs)
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00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:38,991
Coffee at Maude's
and then the boat.
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00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:41,718
What's the sigh for,
my heavy-breathed Heather?
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00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:42,995
You feeling down, m'clown?
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00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:44,997
Oh, no, it's just, well,
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00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,482
every day in Alaska
used to feel crazy and new,
80
00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,835
and now I'm more settled
into this routine.
81
00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:51,670
Nothing's more exciting
than a routine.
82
00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:54,915
Knowing that you know exactly
what's coming next? Heaven.
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00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,416
Should we do something
different today?
84
00:02:56,568 --> 00:02:57,992
Just off the top of my head,
we could
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00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:01,346
sew all our jeans together
into one giant pair?
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00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:04,183
No, Wolf. Although group jeans
is a good business idea.
87
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:05,926
We should write that down.
I sighed because
88
00:03:06,078 --> 00:03:07,577
sometimes I crave
that excitement I felt
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00:03:07,596 --> 00:03:09,354
the first time I saw
the northern lights,
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00:03:09,581 --> 00:03:10,838
or the first time I slipped
on black ice
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00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,507
and then got back up
and immediately slipped again.
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00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:14,026
It went on like that
for at least an hour.
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00:03:14,253 --> 00:03:15,936
I'm okay. I probably just need
some coffee in me.
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00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,196
Well, you're in luck,
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00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:18,530
'cause Maude is just
opening up.
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00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:20,774
Ooh, and, Honeybee,
this'll cheer you up.
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00:03:20,926 --> 00:03:23,351
Today is cranberry muffin day.
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00:03:23,445 --> 00:03:24,536
(weakly):
Yay.
99
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Good morning, Maude.
I see you're admiring
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your door hinge.
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00:03:28,450 --> 00:03:30,375
I'm a butt hinge man myself,
so I get it.
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00:03:30,602 --> 00:03:33,545
No, the door is open, and I know
I locked up last night.
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(gasps)
You think there's
a burglar in there?
104
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Everyone, grab a big stick.
We're going in.
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Good idea. Yes, sticks.
The fists of the trees.
106
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Dang it, the one day I didn't
wear my Batman costume
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under my regular clothes.
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-Oh, hey, guys.
-ALL: Huh?
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Cheesecake? My BFF.
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My Angelina Bro-lie.
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00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:55,216
Oh, what's up, Tobins?
And there you are, Maude.
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00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,143
I'll have
the Seaman's Sausage Platter
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00:03:57,296 --> 00:03:58,144
and four Bloody Marys.
114
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We don't serve alcohol.
115
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All right, just a beer, then.
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Oh, and my friend is
in the bathroom.
117
00:04:03,226 --> 00:04:04,301
He's been in there a while.
118
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:05,410
He might not be
feeling too good.
119
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:07,228
You know what,
bring him a beer, too.
120
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,580
That'll fix him right up.
121
00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:10,082
Wolf, you got to meet this guy.
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You'll love him. I met him
last night at Ted's Folly.
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Doesn't talk much,
but, boy, can he put it away.
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Drinks more than I do,
believe it or not.
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I think he's part fish.
(laughs)
126
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Why don't I, um,
go check on Cheesecake's friend?
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00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,504
Hello? Friend of Cheesecake's?
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00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,913
(gasps)
Oh, God.
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00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,675
This is not good.
130
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Okay, I am literally
poking a bear,
131
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the worst idea ever.
(gasps) Oh, no.
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Drop Dead Ted.
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00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,018
-Good morning.
-Not now, Londra.
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Maude, you'd better lock
the door
135
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,612
and put the closed sign up.
136
00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:42,114
Teddy, the real-life mascot
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00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,841
of our nearby, bitter
rival town of Ted's Folly,
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00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:47,619
appears to have had the night
of his life with Cheesecake
139
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and then died near a toilet
in this very restaurant.
140
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,681
-(gasping, exclaiming)
-Oh, hell no.
141
00:04:51,775 --> 00:04:53,350
I can't believe Teddy is dead.
142
00:04:53,352 --> 00:04:54,609
It's probably too soon,
but did you see
143
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,353
a gorgeous ring on his finger?
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00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,038
I'm sure he'd want me
to have it.
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00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:00,206
Cheesecake, what are you doing,
messing with that bear
146
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,449
from Ted's Folly, son?
147
00:05:01,618 --> 00:05:03,468
Oof, if Mayor Ted
finds out about this,
148
00:05:03,695 --> 00:05:05,804
it's gonna be like
the Beaver Wars all over again.
149
00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:08,640
-Maybe I should just move.
-What are the Beaver Wars?
150
00:05:08,792 --> 00:05:10,033
About 150 years ago,
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00:05:10,202 --> 00:05:13,979
the Lone Moose mayor's wife
Elna Parsnips got drunk
152
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:16,056
and threw
a taxidermied beaver
153
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,317
at the mayor of
Ted's Folly's wife at a dance.
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00:05:18,544 --> 00:05:20,652
And it set
off a bitter rivalry that
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00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:21,987
continues on to this very day.
156
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A lot of bad blood.
157
00:05:23,715 --> 00:05:25,565
A lot of taunting
and pranks on both sides.
158
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,067
Ooh, sounds kinda exciting.
159
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,493
I mean, I'm not proud of it,
160
00:05:28,645 --> 00:05:29,903
but I can taunt
with the best of 'em.
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00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:32,313
Guys, we got to get
that dead bear out of here stat,
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00:05:32,407 --> 00:05:33,573
before anyone else shows up.
163
00:05:33,725 --> 00:05:35,483
Oh, too late, Councilman Roy
just pulled in.
164
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,669
Oh, God,
if Roy finds out, we're screwed.
165
00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:40,839
He'll want to handle this
the "right way," and Ted's Folly
166
00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:42,341
-will come for us all.
It's fine.
167
00:05:42,492 --> 00:05:45,085
All we need is an electric
razor, hydrogen peroxide,
168
00:05:45,237 --> 00:05:46,828
and some high-end
counterfeit passports.
169
00:05:46,922 --> 00:05:48,096
And drinks.
170
00:05:51,835 --> 00:05:54,836
I-I'm sorry, Roy,
we're closed, honey.
171
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,413
But I-I see
other customers in there.
172
00:05:56,506 --> 00:05:59,766
Oh, that's, uh, you know,
that's just my waitstaff.
173
00:05:59,918 --> 00:06:01,342
Beef Tobin is
on your waitstaff?
174
00:06:01,469 --> 00:06:05,697
Yep, just hired all
these people this morning, so...
175
00:06:05,849 --> 00:06:07,366
Got to show 'em the plates.
176
00:06:07,442 --> 00:06:10,369
-Teach 'em what a fork is.
-We just need our coffee.
177
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,871
If Toby doesn't get his,
he becomes
178
00:06:13,098 --> 00:06:14,522
absolutely insufferable.
179
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,209
Sorry, the coffee all
went bad because I, uh,
180
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,786
threw up in it.
So, goodbye and good luck,
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00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:21,195
and I'll see you later, Roy.
182
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,864
This is very
uncalled for, Maude!
183
00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:24,716
Okay, Cheesecake,
how did this happen?
184
00:06:24,943 --> 00:06:28,553
It's hazy, but I know I went
to the Ted's Folly Beerathlon
185
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:31,114
yesterday, which they
always hold the day before
186
00:06:31,207 --> 00:06:32,908
the Ted's Folly Bearathlon.
187
00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:35,802
-The what?
-The Ted's Folly Bearathlon is
188
00:06:35,954 --> 00:06:37,712
a 5K run that they
hold every year
189
00:06:37,806 --> 00:06:40,732
on Teddy the bear's birthday,
and the Beerathlon
190
00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:42,234
is the big party
the night before.
191
00:06:42,427 --> 00:06:44,719
And a great place
to get very, very drunk,
192
00:06:44,813 --> 00:06:48,222
which I was when I climbed into
Teddy's enclosure with a full
193
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,408
growler of honey-wheat ale.
194
00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:51,635
It didn't occur to me
that he was a bear.
195
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,637
I just thought he was
a big dude in a fur coat.
196
00:06:53,655 --> 00:06:56,248
I remember thinking, "You should
get that coat dry-cleaned,
197
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:58,417
my man, because it smells
like you live in it."
198
00:06:58,644 --> 00:07:01,978
Turns out he does.
I'm also picturing us riding
199
00:07:01,997 --> 00:07:04,481
a motorcycle together,
but that can't be right.
200
00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:05,982
You mean like the motorcycle
out there?
201
00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:07,909
The one that says
Mayor-cycle on the side
202
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,335
-in little flames?
-Oh, wonderful.
203
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,096
So we have
two things that belong
204
00:07:11,247 --> 00:07:12,597
to the mayor of Ted's Folly.
205
00:07:12,824 --> 00:07:15,416
If we don't play our cards right
in the next couple of hours,
206
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:18,270
our two towns will have
worse than bad blood.
207
00:07:18,421 --> 00:07:21,523
Oh, no. Really bad blood.
208
00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:23,591
Oh, hello, Moon.
209
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,351
Looking awfully
tall today, aren't we?
210
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,594
And awfully Judy?
211
00:07:26,688 --> 00:07:29,522
Oh, yeah, growth spurt.
And, uh... Judy spurt.
212
00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:31,508
Don't worry, I'm not
gonna get you in trouble.
213
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,100
I don't have time
for shenanigans.
214
00:07:33,195 --> 00:07:34,936
As we were getting out
of the car at school today,
215
00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,846
Ms. Anderson said,
"Happy one-year anniversary,"
216
00:07:36,865 --> 00:07:38,773
and I realized I don't have
dinner reservations,
217
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,849
I can't afford a gift,
218
00:07:40,018 --> 00:07:41,293
and this morning
I accidentally killed
219
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,110
her beloved fish Swimmy Gibbler.
220
00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:44,796
I didn't have my contacts in yet
this morning
221
00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:46,965
and mistakenly fed it
a bunch of parmesan cheese.
222
00:07:47,042 --> 00:07:48,282
And I mean a bunch.
223
00:07:48,376 --> 00:07:49,801
You don't need
a dinner reservation.
224
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:51,528
You just get
a bunch of fast food.
225
00:07:51,697 --> 00:07:52,804
Fast food?
226
00:07:52,956 --> 00:07:55,365
I can't give the love of my life
a meat nugget.
227
00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:56,791
Ah-buh-buh, let me finish.
228
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,535
Then you drive up
to a place with a nice view
229
00:07:58,553 --> 00:08:00,328
and you eat it
on the hood of your car.
230
00:08:00,388 --> 00:08:01,980
Women love car hood picnics.
231
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:02,981
-They do?
-Yes.
232
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,316
Haven't you ever seen
233
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:05,484
-an engagement ring commercial?
-Uh, no.
234
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,134
I only watch classic films
235
00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:08,820
on my vintage laser disc player.
236
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:09,988
Oh, my God.
237
00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:11,639
But in the absence
of any other options,
238
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:12,899
I will take your advice.
239
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,234
Now, what do I do about a gift?
240
00:08:14,386 --> 00:08:15,568
Uh, this is a two-way street,
buddy.
241
00:08:15,721 --> 00:08:16,720
I'll be back in a little bit
242
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:17,645
dressed as a different brother,
243
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,164
and I'm gonna need you
244
00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:21,148
to keep quiet about that, too.
245
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,742
Okay, so, if the Ted's Folly
Bearathlon
246
00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,227
starts at noon, we have to
247
00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:25,912
Weekend at Bernie's this
bear back into the van
248
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,672
and get him back ASAP
so no one knows he's gone.
249
00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:30,567
Then, if we get him back in
his enclosure, people will think
250
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:32,677
he died there, and Lone Moose
will be off the hook.
251
00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:35,238
-Don't forget the motorcycle.
-Oh, I didn't. I can drive it.
252
00:08:35,257 --> 00:08:37,741
I got a license back in Fresno
because in high school
253
00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:39,909
Motorcycle Drivers' Ed counted
as PE for some reason.
254
00:08:39,928 --> 00:08:42,354
I know this is a pretty serious
situation, but I am excited
255
00:08:42,505 --> 00:08:44,005
I finally get
to ride the lightning.
256
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,191
Okay, let's try to get this guy
out of here.
257
00:08:46,418 --> 00:08:47,584
Wolf, Jerry, help me out.
258
00:08:47,602 --> 00:08:50,270
Grab an arm or a leg,
and we'll lift on three.
259
00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:51,363
One, two, three.
260
00:08:51,514 --> 00:08:53,439
-Somebody get around back.
-I'm trying.
261
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,350
This is my first time
lifting a bear, sorry.
262
00:08:56,444 --> 00:08:58,428
-(knock at door)
-ROY: Maude?!
263
00:08:58,521 --> 00:09:00,780
Aah! Roy's back.
Everybody get down.
264
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,023
Oh. Oh, God. Aah!
265
00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:03,691
-Oh, the bear is on Jer.
-No, no, no.
266
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:06,378
I repeat: The bear is on Jer!
267
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,104
After driving around
for 20 minutes,
268
00:09:08,106 --> 00:09:10,456
I decided that
I'm finally going to listen
269
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,867
to my therapist
and stand up for myself.
270
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,944
We're back, and we're not
going anywhere
271
00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:16,388
until we get our coffee.
272
00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:18,798
The drama department
came through.
273
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,392
I'm gonna incorporate
this mask
274
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:21,542
into my everyday look.
275
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,286
Oh, I'm excited
to see Dagmar again.
276
00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:24,621
I used to tell him everything.
277
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:26,398
Even though five years
have passed, it's been
278
00:09:26,474 --> 00:09:28,733
comforting knowing that I
could dig him up if I wanted.
279
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,476
Who knows?
Maybe I'll need him
280
00:09:30,629 --> 00:09:32,571
to help me conquer
the seven most dangerous
281
00:09:32,722 --> 00:09:34,072
mountain peaks in the world.
282
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:36,557
Or stand up as my best man
if I get married.
283
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:37,967
To someone. Not Quinn.
284
00:09:37,986 --> 00:09:39,819
I don't even have
a crush on her.
285
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,472
So we'll just dig Dagmar back up
and bury him somewhere else
286
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:44,474
so I can always find him
if I need him.
287
00:09:44,643 --> 00:09:46,418
Hmm, I'm really curious
to see if my favorite issue
288
00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:48,661
of Tractor magazine
is as good as I remember.
289
00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:51,072
I looked at that thing
so many times, I memorized
290
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,406
the barcode on the cover.
291
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,666
438826...
292
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,984
-(siren chirps)
-(gasps)
293
00:09:55,078 --> 00:09:56,169
Plant and Phantom,
294
00:09:56,338 --> 00:09:58,504
please pull
to the side of the road.
295
00:09:58,657 --> 00:09:59,914
Oh, no, the fuzz.
296
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,582
Okay. I'm screwed,
but you should try
297
00:10:01,676 --> 00:10:03,843
to blend in
with the other plants here.
298
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,496
Come on, let me in.
Let me-- oh.
299
00:10:06,514 --> 00:10:09,924
Roy, come on in, darling.
Coffee's ready.
300
00:10:10,018 --> 00:10:13,019
Good morning, Roy.
How are you today?
301
00:10:13,171 --> 00:10:14,279
Hmm.
Interesting.
302
00:10:14,506 --> 00:10:17,340
Didn't you say these were
all your new waiters?
303
00:10:17,359 --> 00:10:19,008
Why are they sitting down
and eating?
304
00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:21,119
Oh, you know,
I had to fire them
305
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:24,347
because they were all, uh,
having sex with each other.
306
00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:27,200
Oh!
Look, everyone, out that window.
307
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,185
-There's a... a boat.
-Whoa.
308
00:10:29,204 --> 00:10:32,631
Really makes you want to stare
at it through that window only.
309
00:10:32,782 --> 00:10:33,614
(squawks)
310
00:10:33,859 --> 00:10:35,783
Wow, Toby really
likes boats, huh?
311
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:39,304
That's not Toby's boat squawk.
That's his... (sniffs)
312
00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:42,715
Oh, can't be.
Has a wild animal been in here?
313
00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:43,808
No, no.
314
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,218
But Jerry, uh,
315
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,145
had his Bigfoot costume
with him, so...
316
00:10:47,296 --> 00:10:50,223
-Yeah, maybe it needs
to be dry-cleaned.
-Oh, please.
317
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,483
Toby knows
the difference between
318
00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:52,892
a costume and a carnivore.
319
00:10:53,061 --> 00:10:54,227
(tires screech)
320
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:55,561
I'll take those coffees to go.
321
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,897
-Hold onto your feathers, Toby.
-(engine starts)
322
00:10:58,049 --> 00:10:59,974
Something's going on
with the Tobins, and I'm
323
00:11:00,068 --> 00:11:01,642
gonna find out what it is.
324
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,310
Hate to drive on the highway
without your car seat,
325
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,647
-but desperate times
call for desperate measures.
-(squawks)
326
00:11:06,741 --> 00:11:09,292
Yes, I'll get your juice box,
just wait a minute!
327
00:11:12,731 --> 00:11:14,898
All right, the mayor's
John Mayer cover band
328
00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:18,367
the John Mayors always plays
the Ted's Folly Beerathlon,
329
00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:19,678
so hopefully
he's still sleeping it off
330
00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:21,012
and hasn't checked the pen yet.
331
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,073
Uh, guys, we got a problem:
Roy is on our tail.
332
00:11:24,242 --> 00:11:25,666
We got to lose him.
333
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:27,260
I'll go right, you go left.
334
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,246
Okay, let's rendezvous in
the parking lot of Ted's Jolly,
335
00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:32,006
the year-round Christmas store.
336
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,692
Rudolph the Red-Nosed hell yeah!
337
00:11:33,843 --> 00:11:36,419
-Toby, who do I follow?
-(squawks)
338
00:11:36,438 --> 00:11:38,512
I knew you would say that.
You love motorcycles.
339
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,848
I'm sorry they
don't make one in your size.
340
00:11:40,942 --> 00:11:42,275
MR. GOLOVKIN:
Well, if it isn't
341
00:11:42,427 --> 00:11:44,110
Ham Tobin, here to tell me
what kind of gift
342
00:11:44,187 --> 00:11:46,779
I should get my lady friend
for our one-year anniversary.
343
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,281
And here it is.
344
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:49,933
Some dirt in a jar.
345
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,377
I know I said I didn't care
about your picture shenanigans,
346
00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,938
but now I'm actively angry
with you, so I'm going to
347
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,122
tell Principal Gibbons
what you're up to.
348
00:11:56,274 --> 00:11:58,365
This isn't just any dirt
in a jar.
349
00:11:58,460 --> 00:11:59,959
It happens to be
from the very spot
350
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,053
where you and Ms. Anderson
first kissed.
351
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,038
-It is?
-It is now.
352
00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:05,706
Ah, okay, very clever, Judy.
353
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,375
Are you an actual criminal?
Did you kill your brothers?
354
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,619
Just, uh,
take the picture, Theodore.
355
00:12:09,712 --> 00:12:11,637
Oh, what about
the dead goldfish? What do I do?
356
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:13,547
Yeah, okay, I'll be back
for sibling superlatives,
357
00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:14,983
and we'll talk then.
358
00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:25,243
Ha ha, time
for the Bee to bug out.
359
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,805
-(squawks)
-Aw, dang it.
360
00:12:28,898 --> 00:12:30,749
Well, I can't just go
through a yellow light.
361
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,709
I-I'm not a wild man, Toby.
362
00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,834
-Ha ha!
-Hey. Are you Beth?
363
00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:43,319
Oh, hi. No.
364
00:12:43,338 --> 00:12:44,912
Were you expecting
a woman to drive
365
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,172
a motorcycle into your truck?
366
00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:47,915
-Yeah. Beth.
-Well, I'm not her.
367
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,676
I'm not giving you the drugs
hidden in these baguettes then.
368
00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:51,661
Okay.
369
00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,755
So, how's your day going?
370
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,182
Eh, had better, had worse.
You?
371
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:59,027
Honestly, buddy, I'm having
the time of my life.
372
00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:02,113
-Uh-oh.
-Weekend at dang-its!
373
00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,673
There's a news crew there.
374
00:13:03,842 --> 00:13:05,174
They must already know
he's gone.
375
00:13:05,176 --> 00:13:06,509
Damn, I lost Roy and the bird,
376
00:13:06,528 --> 00:13:08,011
but it looks like
we're too late.
377
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:09,695
We should go over and listen in,
but I'm afraid
378
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,364
Mayor Ted will recognize us
379
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,123
as Lone Moosers.
380
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,108
Ooh, let's do disguises.
381
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:15,627
That'll be fun.
382
00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:17,611
Wolf and I keep two pizza
costumes in the trunk in case we
383
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,038
get invited to a last-
minute Halloween party.
384
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,857
We can get 'em out,
stand over to the side,
385
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,542
and pretend
we're sign spinners.
386
00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:24,469
If anyone asks, we'll just say
our signs are in the shop.
387
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,639
Great idea. And we don't
want to leave Teddy unattended.
388
00:13:27,866 --> 00:13:29,532
So, Wolf,
you and Jerry stay here.
389
00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:30,533
You got it, Dad.
390
00:13:30,552 --> 00:13:31,476
Hanging with my bro-in-law
391
00:13:31,627 --> 00:13:34,295
and a dead bear?
Living the dream.
392
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,313
What are you two doing
out here
393
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:37,464
dressed for a musical
on a school day?
394
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:42,228
Oh, we're actually on our way
to do a show for overworked
395
00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:43,321
construction workers at
396
00:13:43,472 --> 00:13:44,730
the new Tramp Scamps
building site.
397
00:13:44,883 --> 00:13:46,382
Some of them have never
398
00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:49,476
even seen a Broadway play.
Can you imagine? It's so sad.
399
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,220
Oh, okay. Well,
you want to throw your bikes
400
00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:52,722
in the trunk
and I'll give you a ride?
401
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:55,058
Oh, and I can lead you in
some vocal warmups in the car.
402
00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:56,984
I was in a choral ensemble
at Wellesley,
403
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,912
the Hillary Clin-Tones.
Two, three, four.
404
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:03,007
♪ From a distance,
the world is ♪
405
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:05,751
♪ Blue and green. ♪
406
00:14:05,904 --> 00:14:06,919
Don't worry, Toby.
407
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,847
That motorcycle had
"Mayor-cycle" written on
408
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:10,907
the side,
and there's only three mayors
409
00:14:10,925 --> 00:14:12,350
in the area that have
one of those.
410
00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:15,261
-We'll check them all,
town by town.
-(squawks)
411
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,247
I agree. We are having
a fun little Monday. (chuckles)
412
00:14:18,249 --> 00:14:19,691
Honeybee, I fear these
413
00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:22,435
so-called disguises are
wildly attention-getting.
414
00:14:22,645 --> 00:14:25,196
Yeah, but think of how much fun
it'll be if we get caught.
415
00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:26,956
Just so you know,
I'm gonna rat you out
416
00:14:27,016 --> 00:14:28,700
-and cut a deal immediately.
-That's fine.
417
00:14:28,851 --> 00:14:30,927
I'll do your time and mine.
I just want Wolf to be happy.
418
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:34,430
-So, wait, that's Teddy's
enclosure? Pretty nice.
-Uh-huh.
419
00:14:34,523 --> 00:14:36,357
The mayor is obsessed
with that bear.
420
00:14:36,451 --> 00:14:38,192
In light of Teddy's
disappearance,
421
00:14:38,286 --> 00:14:39,526
we're considering
canceling today's
422
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,695
Bearathlon
for the first time in its
423
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:42,772
hundred-year history.
424
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:43,548
I just can't bear
425
00:14:43,699 --> 00:14:44,883
the thought of breaking all
426
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:47,293
the hearts of today's
paw-ticipants.
427
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,369
It's too grisly.
428
00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:49,870
And my motorcycle
is also missing.
429
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:53,874
I'm both revved up about it
and wheelie, wheelie sad.
430
00:14:53,968 --> 00:14:56,135
Wow, I'm used
to quirky Alaskans by now,
431
00:14:56,287 --> 00:14:57,544
but this guy is next-level.
432
00:14:57,639 --> 00:14:58,804
And I will say this:
433
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,289
when the Ted's Folly Teddy goes
434
00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:01,807
missing,
our immediate thought is
435
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,234
that it must be someone from...
436
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:05,811
-Lone Moose.
-(gasps) How bear he?
437
00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:07,463
Don't look at us,
we're sign spinners.
438
00:15:07,556 --> 00:15:08,907
Mind your biz.
439
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:11,075
I'm telling you, Jerry,
this is the idea that will have
440
00:15:11,227 --> 00:15:14,303
all the sharks in a bidding war:
appetizers you wear.
441
00:15:14,397 --> 00:15:16,414
Think about it.
A suit made entirely
442
00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:17,564
of buffalo wings?
443
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,066
You just simply
walk around a party,
444
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,068
and people pick you clean.
You can't lose.
445
00:15:21,162 --> 00:15:22,311
(Teddy growls)
446
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,755
Got your stomach
growling, huh, Jer?
447
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,739
Uh, that wasn't my stomach,
Wolf.
448
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:29,652
Um, I believe this bear is,
in fact, not deceased.
449
00:15:29,654 --> 00:15:31,412
Oh, God.
He's waking up.
450
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,415
Quick, before he does,
open your door quietly, and then
451
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,009
come slide the back door open
so I can sneak out fast.
452
00:15:37,162 --> 00:15:40,696
-Hold tight, here I come.
-Hurry, Jerry!
-(Teddy growls)
453
00:15:40,698 --> 00:15:42,089
I hate this bear so much.
454
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,850
(both scream)
455
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,669
Honeybee, your brother doesn't
456
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:49,930
by chance do a very convincing
bear imitation, does he?
457
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:52,450
Nope. Oh, my God.
Ted's not dead!
458
00:15:56,014 --> 00:15:58,514
-Oh, man, he's mad now.
-Wolfie?! Jer?!
459
00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:00,516
Oh, thank God
you guys are okay.
460
00:16:00,535 --> 00:16:03,944
I am so done with bears.
Even Winnie the Pooh.
461
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,279
No, thanks!
Put some pants on!
462
00:16:05,373 --> 00:16:06,780
Well, well, well,
463
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,451
some Lone Moosers did steal
my bear and my motorcycle.
464
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:13,362
Someone arrest them!
Is anyone here a police officer?
465
00:16:13,456 --> 00:16:16,382
-You! I deputize you.
-I'm 12.
466
00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:19,310
Oh, before we head in,
why don't you guys,
467
00:16:19,537 --> 00:16:22,129
uh, sing me
something from the show?
468
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,631
Oh, yeah, we'd love to, yup.
469
00:16:24,726 --> 00:16:29,395
Yup, so the show opens with,
uh, a song called
470
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,022
"Phantom Plant Man."
471
00:16:31,249 --> 00:16:33,140
-♪ Oh, he's a phantom ♪
-♪ He's a plant ♪
472
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,401
-♪ Who's also a ghost ♪
-♪ Who has a plant ♪
473
00:16:35,553 --> 00:16:36,886
♪ And, uh. ♪
474
00:16:36,904 --> 00:16:37,887
Beautiful.
475
00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:39,905
Hey, construction guys, yeah...
476
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,148
Wait, Chief Edna.
477
00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:42,775
-We... we lied.
-What?
478
00:16:42,927 --> 00:16:45,745
You're not doing a special show
for the construction workers?
479
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:46,746
I'm shocked.
480
00:16:46,898 --> 00:16:48,414
Now, why don't you two tell me
481
00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:50,249
what's really going on
so I don't have to call your dad
482
00:16:50,401 --> 00:16:53,177
-and tell him I caught
you skipping school?
-Okay.
483
00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:54,920
See, I had
this old security item--
484
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,240
Dagmar the coconut--
that I carved a face into.
485
00:16:57,258 --> 00:17:00,518
I used to pretend he was my twin
brother. Fraternal, of course.
486
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:02,411
Anyway, when
my dad said I had to get
487
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,171
rid of him, we buried him here.
488
00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:05,264
I'm not sure I'm really ready
489
00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:06,840
to let him go for good,
you know?
490
00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:08,918
Well, that's freakin'
sweet as hell.
491
00:17:08,936 --> 00:17:11,270
All right, you go dig up
your security coconut.
492
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:14,181
I'll explain it
to the construction guys.
493
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,867
Oh, they poured concrete on him.
494
00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,611
That's rude.
And sad.
495
00:17:18,763 --> 00:17:19,779
I'm so sorry, bud.
496
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,539
Sorry, Gary.
Who's Gary?
497
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:23,599
Well, that magazine
wasn't my favorite
498
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:24,709
because of the tractors.
499
00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:25,935
The model on the cover of
500
00:17:25,953 --> 00:17:27,286
that issue was actually
the first guy
501
00:17:27,438 --> 00:17:28,788
I ever saw
that I had a crush on.
502
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:32,108
Sitting on a pile of hay,
showing off his brand-new boots.
503
00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:33,534
Oh, he looked in my eyes,
504
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,444
and that's when I knew
that I liked dudes.
505
00:17:35,463 --> 00:17:37,221
Really?
Why'd you let him go?
506
00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:39,282
You had to part with something
you really cared for,
507
00:17:39,284 --> 00:17:41,951
so I thought, as your brother,
I should do the same.
508
00:17:41,969 --> 00:17:44,303
Wow. That's nice.
You know, I used to wish
509
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,639
I had a sibling I was as
close with as you and Judy.
510
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,125
Someone I could win
Best Siblings with someday.
511
00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:51,903
Moon, what?!
I am that sibling for you.
512
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:53,963
Just because I'm close
with Judy doesn't mean
513
00:17:54,056 --> 00:17:55,073
I can't be close with you.
514
00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:56,407
I'll be your Dagmar.
I mean, I refuse
515
00:17:56,634 --> 00:17:58,392
to let myself smell
as bad as he did,
516
00:17:58,486 --> 00:18:00,411
but I'll gladly skip
a shower or two as needed.
517
00:18:00,638 --> 00:18:02,805
And if you choose a best man
for your wedding, I'd love
518
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:05,658
-to be that guy.
-Thanks, Ham.
I'll keep you in mind.
519
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,477
Well, it makes me sad that
we can't dig up Dagmar and Gary,
520
00:18:08,479 --> 00:18:10,329
but I feel better knowing
they're down there together.
521
00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:12,090
And Crispin's a way better
boyfriend
522
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:13,332
than that Tractor model.
523
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,259
Never gets soggy
when I kiss him.
524
00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:17,077
Uh, Mr. Mayor, we can explain.
525
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,245
Explain what?
526
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,931
How you planned to sabotage
527
00:18:20,158 --> 00:18:21,490
the Ted's Folly Bearathlon?
528
00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:24,009
You Lone Moose bastards
better prepare yourself
529
00:18:24,162 --> 00:18:26,329
fur Bear-mageddon.
530
00:18:26,331 --> 00:18:27,496
Ugh. No.
531
00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:28,331
Here comes Roy.
532
00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:29,774
Roy, if you followed us here
533
00:18:29,884 --> 00:18:31,442
to enforce some obscure
town code,
534
00:18:31,669 --> 00:18:33,836
I assure you
we're in enough trouble already.
535
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:36,188
Well, I do have
some code questions
536
00:18:36,357 --> 00:18:40,267
but not for the good citizens of
my beloved hometown Lone Moose.
537
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:42,269
-Hello, Mayor Folly.
-Roy.
538
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,847
Remind me again where
you acquired a permit to keep
539
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,940
your town's mascot
in an enclosure.
540
00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:48,442
That's not an enclosure.
541
00:18:48,536 --> 00:18:49,535
That's his room.
542
00:18:49,687 --> 00:18:51,203
This bear is like my son.
543
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,205
The Follys have
always lived with bears.
544
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,634
Keeping a bear in confinement
may be your family's disgusting
545
00:18:56,785 --> 00:18:59,453
tradition, but it's
an Alaskan state statute that
546
00:18:59,547 --> 00:19:02,214
you must possess a permit
to keep a bear in an enclosure.
547
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:04,049
And you, sir,
do not have that permit.
548
00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:06,385
Believe me, I read all
the permits in the Alaskan
549
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,146
state house during
my last spring break trip.
550
00:19:08,373 --> 00:19:11,983
Well, then, I will just deputize
someone to write me a permit.
551
00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:13,376
-You there.
-Leave me alone.
552
00:19:13,469 --> 00:19:15,820
Mayor Folly,
if you could simply focus
553
00:19:15,971 --> 00:19:18,714
on my friends here returning
your bear and motorcycle,
554
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:20,992
and forget everything
that came before that,
555
00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:23,719
then I'm sure I could forget
that you don't possess
556
00:19:23,738 --> 00:19:25,571
a permit to keep this bear
in the first place.
557
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:29,834
Fine. But I would keep an eye
on that lone moose of yours.
558
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,728
We don't actually
have a moose mascot.
559
00:19:32,821 --> 00:19:34,079
You know what? Just go.
560
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,898
Roy, sorry we locked you out
of Maude's and then made
561
00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:37,157
you chase us around.
562
00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:38,843
We thought you were
gonna bust us for something.
563
00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:40,511
Are you kidding?
We stick together.
564
00:19:40,663 --> 00:19:42,013
Like the town slogan says,
565
00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:45,074
"We're Lone Moosers, from
our heads to our caboosers."
566
00:19:45,092 --> 00:19:46,350
That's not the slogan.
567
00:19:46,577 --> 00:19:48,669
Well, I'm trying to get it
approved.
568
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:51,022
Aw, Roy and Toby
are our best friends now.
569
00:19:51,249 --> 00:19:53,507
-I no longer have to be scared
of Toby.
-(squawks)
570
00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:56,843
-You should still be
scared of Toby.
-Duly noted.
571
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,104
Okay,
time for your Best Siblings
572
00:19:59,257 --> 00:20:00,514
superlative photo.
573
00:20:00,608 --> 00:20:01,866
But no pics
without a goldfish fix.
574
00:20:02,093 --> 00:20:03,517
Swimmy Gibbler is dead.
575
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,761
How do I fix this so
Ms. Anderson doesn't find out?
576
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:08,080
You don't. You have
to take ownership and say
577
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:09,598
you're sorry, and then
get her a new one.
578
00:20:09,617 --> 00:20:11,242
You can't swap it out
behind her back.
579
00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:13,102
You're not some
children's party magician.
580
00:20:13,195 --> 00:20:14,528
Have a little respect
for yourself.
581
00:20:14,622 --> 00:20:16,455
Oh, I knew you were going
to say something like that.
582
00:20:16,607 --> 00:20:18,941
But you're right. Now pose
next to your brother's boyfriend
583
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,444
who's dressed as
your brother and smile.
584
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:24,889
I might just leave this pizza
costume on forever. It's comfy.
585
00:20:25,116 --> 00:20:27,116
Agreed. It's like
a hoodie with cheese.
586
00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:29,060
Well, I certainly
didn't expect a day like today
587
00:20:29,211 --> 00:20:30,970
when we pulled
into Maude's this morning.
588
00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:32,680
I guess Alaska
does keep a few tricks
589
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,957
-up her sleeve after all.
-Every time you think you've
590
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:37,626
got Alaska figured out,
she surprises you.
591
00:20:37,645 --> 00:20:39,886
Yeah, like one time
I found an entire unopened
592
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,073
box of Milk Duds at
the local movie theater!
593
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:43,908
That's not exactly
what I meant.
594
00:20:44,059 --> 00:20:45,225
You didn't let me finish.
595
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,394
Inside the box? Junior Mints!
596
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,305
Yep, still not what
we're talking about, Wolf.
597
00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:50,489
Agree to disagree, Dad.
598
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,158
Junior Mints pretending
to be Milk Duds.
599
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:54,643
Only in Alaska.
600
00:20:54,662 --> 00:20:55,753
♪ I was a young bear ♪
601
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,663
♪ Full of rage and livin' hard ♪
602
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:01,166
♪ Then you caught my eye
across the mayor's yard ♪
603
00:21:01,319 --> 00:21:04,487
♪ My mind was missing
and my heart was nearly gone ♪
604
00:21:04,655 --> 00:21:06,338
♪ And you climbed up
on that motorbike ♪
605
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,173
♪ And said, "Hey, man, hop on" ♪
606
00:21:08,326 --> 00:21:09,842
♪ You can trap me in a cage ♪
607
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,660
♪ But my heart, man,
it's so free ♪
608
00:21:11,754 --> 00:21:15,180
♪ The wind in my fur, my
best friend right behind me ♪
609
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:16,849
♪ And there's a girl
out there for me ♪
610
00:21:17,001 --> 00:21:18,776
♪ And I know I'll find her ♪
611
00:21:18,853 --> 00:21:22,187
♪ And we'll keep on
ridin' free ♪
612
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,431
♪ My best friend
right behind her. ♪
613
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,675
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
614
00:21:26,677 --> 00:21:28,268
and TOYOTA.
615
00:21:28,362 --> 00:21:29,996
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org