1 00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,728 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,821 --> 00:00:06,063 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,156 --> 00:00:07,655 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:10,234 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,252 --> 00:00:13,661 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,756 --> 00:00:15,239 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,332 --> 00:00:16,849 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:17,832 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:21,169 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,596 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:24,097 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:26,025 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:26,176 --> 00:00:29,528 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,924 --> 00:00:34,033 (cheering) 15 00:00:37,263 --> 00:00:38,203 All right, the coast is clear. 16 00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:41,265 No sign of D-A-D, which is G-O-O-D. 17 00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:43,617 Because as we all know, T-O-M-O-R-R-- 18 00:00:43,769 --> 00:00:44,935 -All right. -Ugh, enough. 19 00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,937 Okay, okay. Ex-nay on the elling-spay. 20 00:00:47,030 --> 00:00:48,196 So, omorrow-tay-- 21 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,107 No. No pig Latin, either. 22 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,866 Talk like a normal human man. 23 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:52,867 Can I do an accent? 24 00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:54,035 The only accents you do 25 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,203 are old British lady and Mario. 26 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,281 It's-a me, the Queen-io. 27 00:00:57,299 --> 00:00:59,040 Is it weird if I give my husband a wedgie? 28 00:00:59,134 --> 00:01:00,875 -Not at all. -Jeez, fine. 29 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,452 Okay, tomorrow is Dad's birthday. 30 00:01:02,546 --> 00:01:03,378 Now, we're just gonna do what we do 31 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,712 for Dad's birthday every year. 32 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:05,956 Keep it small and simple 33 00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:08,550 because he freakin' hates celebrating his birthday. 34 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,736 Yeah, we don't want him to run away like that year 35 00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:12,296 when he thought we got him balloons. 36 00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:13,739 We'll take Dad to Maude's for dinner, 37 00:01:13,849 --> 00:01:16,316 give him his handmade card, and then return home 38 00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:17,651 to eat the cake that Ham made him. 39 00:01:17,803 --> 00:01:20,137 It's his favorite: a square one, no decorations. 40 00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:23,156 And we'll give him one luxurious yet practical gift: 41 00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:24,232 a heated toilet seat. 42 00:01:24,326 --> 00:01:25,417 Simple and routine. 43 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,327 That's a Beef Tobin hot buns birthday dream. 44 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,662 Boy, I wish he'd let us celebrate. 45 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,331 Can you imagine if he let us really go for it? 46 00:01:31,483 --> 00:01:33,258 Take him to Cancun on a party bus? 47 00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,410 Sure, it'd be weeks and weeks of driving, 48 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,912 and constant togetherness in a cramped space. 49 00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,339 -Ah. -But... 50 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,325 Oh, no but, that's what I'd love about it! 51 00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:44,586 Well, I am adding one festive touch to Dad's card this year. 52 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,605 I, Dame L'Judy Stench, 53 00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:48,923 found the perfect scented glitter at the art store. 54 00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:51,017 [sniffing] Birthday cake scented glitter? 55 00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:52,502 We've done it. Humanity has peaked. 56 00:01:52,596 --> 00:01:55,188 Someone tell all the scientists to stop working. 57 00:01:55,341 --> 00:01:56,949 It's over. Tell them. 58 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,358 And just a reminder: 59 00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,101 it's best not to even mention Dad's birthday. 60 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,696 -Just leave him alone all day, then-- Ahh! -Ahh! 61 00:02:02,772 --> 00:02:05,440 Ahh! Oh. Good morning, everyone. 62 00:02:05,534 --> 00:02:06,458 Breakfast is ready. 63 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:08,293 I was looking for some more syrup. 64 00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:11,130 Um, why is everyone meeting in the panic room? 65 00:02:11,357 --> 00:02:12,873 Is there a panic I'm unaware of? 66 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,374 Oh, no, Dad. No panic. 67 00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:16,284 We were just meeting in here to, uh... 68 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:17,711 check out these... shelves. 69 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,171 Mm-hmm. Sturdy! 70 00:02:19,365 --> 00:02:21,974 -Yes, doggie. -What's behind here? 71 00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,475 Uh, brackets? Incredible. 72 00:02:23,702 --> 00:02:26,536 Oh, boy, yeah. I could stare at these all day. 73 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:28,038 I'm a real shelf-hound. 74 00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:29,297 Okay! All done now. 75 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,874 Out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out! 76 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:31,900 Hmm. 77 00:02:32,802 --> 00:02:34,319 Birthday cake scented glitter? 78 00:02:34,471 --> 00:02:36,655 Secret meeting in the panic room? 79 00:02:36,806 --> 00:02:39,474 Yesterday, Honeybee was revising her "Ultimate Playlist?" 80 00:02:39,568 --> 00:02:42,494 And Moon asked me if I thought banners were still cool? 81 00:02:42,571 --> 00:02:45,055 Oh, God. This could only mean one thing... 82 00:02:45,224 --> 00:02:47,649 But no, the kids would never throw me a... 83 00:02:47,726 --> 00:02:49,626 surprise party. 84 00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:54,006 Surprise, Dad! 85 00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:56,416 Oh, a party for me? 86 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,843 Dad, you're nude. 87 00:02:57,994 --> 00:03:00,995 -And you're on the toilet. -(gasps) 88 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:03,573 And now you have to sing. 89 00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:05,851 Sing on the toilet now. 90 00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:09,930 ♪ Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord ♪ 91 00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,357 -(laughter) -♪ He hath loosed the fateful lightning ♪ 92 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,509 ♪ With his terrible swift sword ♪ 93 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,344 -♪ He has trampled down... ♪ -WOLF: Dad? 94 00:03:16,438 --> 00:03:18,680 -Huh? What? -Uh... you okay? 95 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,847 You were just staring into space 96 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,516 singing "Battle Hymn of the Republic." 97 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,701 Uh, just, um... 98 00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:25,278 Just practicing for Armistice Day, Son. 99 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,538 You can never be too well rehearsed. 100 00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:29,190 Aw. No one told me I had to have a song ready 101 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,542 to sing on Armistice Day. 102 00:03:30,769 --> 00:03:31,952 Good thing I caught you. 103 00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:33,695 You know, I feel like Ke$ha's "Die Young" 104 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,456 might surprise and challenge an audience. 105 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,700 ♪ ♪ 106 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,478 Oh, no. Gigantic birthday cake? 107 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:42,554 Oh, oh! 108 00:03:42,781 --> 00:03:44,948 Oh... It's okay, Santiago. 109 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:47,284 Go ask for another one. You're a man now. 110 00:03:47,286 --> 00:03:48,134 (gasps) 111 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,229 Birthday balloons? Londra, no. 112 00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:53,548 All right, let's go cheer some kids up at the hospital. 113 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,626 -Lot of beer, huh? -Yup. Got a big night coming up. 114 00:03:56,645 --> 00:03:59,646 So much beer. The guest list must be huge. 115 00:03:59,798 --> 00:04:00,964 Mondays are my beer night. 116 00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:03,116 Tuesdays, too. I'll be back tomorrow. 117 00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,411 Birthday supplies? Ugh. 118 00:04:06,638 --> 00:04:07,988 It's like every single person in town 119 00:04:08,156 --> 00:04:09,939 is planning to celebrate me. 120 00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,141 How depressing. 121 00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:12,567 ENDA: Lone Moose Police Department. 122 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,160 Go for Chief Edna. Over. 123 00:04:14,313 --> 00:04:16,070 -Hey, sis. Over. -Hey, Elba. 124 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,590 Did Mom call you about her sock thief, too? Over. 125 00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:20,241 Yeah, but it turns out it was just stuck 126 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,576 to the top of the dryer again. 127 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,910 I'm actually calling because 128 00:04:23,005 --> 00:04:24,170 I'm coming into town tomorrow 129 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,580 transporting a prisoner 130 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,657 and I'm bringing a cheese and charcuterie plate 131 00:04:27,826 --> 00:04:29,509 for us to enjoy desk-side. Over. 132 00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:32,662 Copy and received, and excited to cheese. Over and out. 133 00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:33,997 (phone ringing) 134 00:04:34,016 --> 00:04:35,274 You got Chief Edna. 135 00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,609 Really? Pete the Val-U-Buy Cashier? 136 00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:40,279 Another successful trip to the vitamin store. 137 00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:42,856 I can't wait to cram these into my B-hole. 138 00:04:43,008 --> 00:04:46,192 -That's what I call my mouth when I take my B-12s. -Whoa. 139 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,194 Is Pete the cashier getting arrested? 140 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:49,955 Looks like he was grilling outside. 141 00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:51,531 Wow, you think you know someone. 142 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,126 Wait, wait, wait. It's not illegal to grill outside. 143 00:04:54,353 --> 00:04:55,943 Actually, my Normally-Right Norma, 144 00:04:56,038 --> 00:04:59,205 cashier Pete is violating our local Attractive Nuisance law. 145 00:04:59,358 --> 00:05:00,448 Attractive nuisance? What's that? 146 00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,116 Like when Jeff Goldblum started playing 147 00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:03,543 his jazz piano everywhere? 148 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,138 It means you can't do stuff that attracts bears. 149 00:05:06,365 --> 00:05:07,622 Uh-huh. There's lots of stuff you can do 150 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,533 in the lower 48, but not here, H-Bee. 151 00:05:09,626 --> 00:05:13,203 For instance, it's illegal to drop a moose from an airplane. 152 00:05:13,221 --> 00:05:14,479 So don't even think about it. 153 00:05:14,631 --> 00:05:16,648 Thank you, Moon. Always good to have a reminder. 154 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,058 It's also illegal to whisper 155 00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:19,559 in someone's ear during a moose hunt. 156 00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:21,227 And you know what? There's probably gonna be a lot 157 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:23,046 of people getting themselves locked up for that one tomorrow. 158 00:05:23,215 --> 00:05:24,823 Oh, right, moose hunting season starts at midnight. 159 00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,325 It's easy to remember that because 160 00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:27,701 it always starts on Dad's birthday. 161 00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:28,568 -(gasping) -(tires screeching) 162 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,402 Oh, no! 163 00:05:29,555 --> 00:05:31,071 Which is a day. Tomorrow. 164 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,497 Who cares? The end. 165 00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:34,908 All right, well, the kids are throwing me 166 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,335 a surprise party tomorrow. 167 00:05:36,562 --> 00:05:38,170 Maybe I could live under the house for a week or so. 168 00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:39,245 I've done it before. 169 00:05:39,398 --> 00:05:41,231 Or I could burn the house down. 170 00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:42,415 No. That's a terrible idea. 171 00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:44,158 What if they're not even throwing it here? 172 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:48,388 (groans) I guess I should just resign myself to my fate. 173 00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:51,183 Sing! Sing! Sing! 174 00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:55,354 ♪ Give my regards to Broadway ♪ 175 00:05:55,505 --> 00:05:58,915 ♪ Remember me to Herald Square... ♪ 176 00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:00,600 (laughter) 177 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:04,087 Ah! There's got to be a way to avoid this altogether. 178 00:06:04,256 --> 00:06:05,847 (moose bellowing) 179 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,014 Hmm. 180 00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:08,867 The moose hunt starts tomorrow. 181 00:06:09,094 --> 00:06:11,928 And this guy is whispering me an idea. 182 00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,780 By God, I shouldn't. 183 00:06:13,932 --> 00:06:14,873 I couldn't. 184 00:06:15,024 --> 00:06:16,099 I must. 185 00:06:16,118 --> 00:06:17,267 Morning, Beef. 186 00:06:17,285 --> 00:06:18,435 Surprised to see you out here, 187 00:06:18,453 --> 00:06:19,769 didn't think you were much of a hunter. 188 00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:21,362 (whispering): Hello, Game Warden Burt. 189 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,273 -What'd you say there, Beef? -I said hello. 190 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:24,941 You're gonna have to bring up your volume. 191 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,276 Is something wrong? 192 00:06:26,461 --> 00:06:29,170 Dammit, Tobin. Whispering during a moose hunt is illegal. 193 00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:30,964 And creepy. I'm stepping away now. 194 00:06:31,116 --> 00:06:32,039 But Burt, hold on, I-- 195 00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:33,725 Beef. Stop. Stop following me. 196 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:35,135 Still whispering. 197 00:06:35,287 --> 00:06:36,561 Ah! Gah! That's it! 198 00:06:36,713 --> 00:06:39,973 Well, sorry, Beef. You're in for 24 hours. 199 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,474 Oh, it's okay, Edna. 200 00:06:41,627 --> 00:06:42,550 No hard feelings. 201 00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:43,568 It's my party 202 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,987 and I'll be in jail if I want to. 203 00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:51,151 ELBA (over radio): Attention Chief Edna. 204 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,819 Chief Elba with an update. 205 00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:54,562 -Copy. Go for Edna. -I'm on my way with the prisoner. 206 00:06:54,731 --> 00:06:57,416 A little late because I swung by the Death Cliff Dairy Queen 207 00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,251 to see if the S'mores Shake was in season yet. 208 00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:01,978 It's not, so I'm in a bit of a low spot. 209 00:07:01,997 --> 00:07:03,329 Aw. She'll be back, hon. 210 00:07:03,482 --> 00:07:05,315 Sounds like we're getting another roommate, Beef. 211 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:06,942 Fun. This must be how it felt 212 00:07:06,944 --> 00:07:09,152 to be one of the friends on TV's Friends. 213 00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:11,430 (giggles) Phoebe will probably stop by any minute 214 00:07:11,657 --> 00:07:13,840 to tell us she's pregnant with her brother's baby. 215 00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:15,416 Wow, you're in a pretty good mood 216 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,084 for someone who's in jail, Beef. 217 00:07:17,179 --> 00:07:18,603 It could always be worse, Edna. 218 00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:20,922 I could be dead, or at a party. 219 00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,515 Dad? Dad. It's okay now. 220 00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:24,609 -We're here. We're here, Poppa. -Dad, are you all right? 221 00:07:24,836 --> 00:07:28,171 I'm okay. Look at this nice bench they let you sit on. 222 00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,356 How'd you, um... know where I was? 223 00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:31,783 Game Warden Burt called the house. 224 00:07:31,935 --> 00:07:34,043 All right, Edna, let's talk turkey. 225 00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:35,436 What's his bail? A million dollars? 226 00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:37,514 We don't do bail for this kind of thing, Moon. 227 00:07:37,532 --> 00:07:39,941 But I do have to hold him for 24 hours. 228 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:40,942 That's the law. 229 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,276 Dad, you look at me! 230 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,945 Let me see those beautiful eyes. 231 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,131 I swear on everything that is holy, 232 00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:48,282 on Paul Newman's smile itself, 233 00:07:48,376 --> 00:07:50,284 that I will get you out of here. 234 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:53,621 Oh, uh, don't worry, Son, I'm perfectly fine in here. 235 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:54,698 Oh, come on, Dad. 236 00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:56,216 It's your... birthday. 237 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,625 -Ham! -Well, it is. 238 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,643 And he's already in jail, Judy, 239 00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:00,220 his birthday can't hurt him now. 240 00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:02,872 Dad, we can't let you spend your ding-dang birthday alone 241 00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:04,799 in some hellhole surrounded by filth 242 00:08:04,893 --> 00:08:06,710 and the bottom-feeders of society. 243 00:08:06,728 --> 00:08:08,044 -Hey! -Sorry, Pete. 244 00:08:08,213 --> 00:08:09,729 I respect you when you're a cashier at Val-U-Buy, 245 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,381 but right now you are a bottom-feeder. 246 00:08:11,399 --> 00:08:13,158 -Okay. -Edna, what's to say 247 00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:15,309 if I was to accidentally drop this here 248 00:08:15,403 --> 00:08:16,903 five dollars on the ground? 249 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,888 Oops. Clumsy me. 250 00:08:18,982 --> 00:08:21,333 Maybe while you're picking up that free five dollars, 251 00:08:21,484 --> 00:08:23,317 the jail cell mysteriously opens up. 252 00:08:23,411 --> 00:08:24,894 (laughs) Crazy, how'd that happen? 253 00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:26,746 Oh, well, who cares? Not us. Bye. 254 00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:30,066 Wolf, it's against the law to bribe a police officer. 255 00:08:30,159 --> 00:08:31,735 Oh, okay, I get it. 256 00:08:31,753 --> 00:08:33,753 You don't want the money, you want the honey. 257 00:08:33,905 --> 00:08:36,664 Uh, babe, avert your eyes, I'm only doing this for Dad. 258 00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:39,184 Wolf, don't-- Oh, too late, here he goes. 259 00:08:39,335 --> 00:08:40,685 -Is this what you want?! -No. 260 00:08:40,762 --> 00:08:43,263 Then take it! Just take it! 261 00:08:43,415 --> 00:08:45,431 Darg nobbit, this stinks! 262 00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:47,100 This is even worse than the year we let Dad 263 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,752 go to bed without celebrating. 264 00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:50,678 For months after that birthday, I had a recurring nightmare 265 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,015 that Dad started aging backwards and turned into a Dad baby. 266 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,942 I'm not ready to take care of a baby. 267 00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:57,202 I want to start my career. 268 00:08:57,353 --> 00:08:58,519 A birthday is special. 269 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,372 You don't get to see that many of them. 270 00:09:00,599 --> 00:09:03,283 It's like seeing a four-leaf clover or a shooting star. 271 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,934 Or like that Saturday afternoon 272 00:09:04,953 --> 00:09:07,270 when Crispin stopped by wearing a bolo tie. 273 00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:10,106 Oh, the way that scorpion in amber glistened 274 00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:12,275 in the setting sun was... magical. 275 00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,553 Time stood still. It had its moment. 276 00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:18,131 And doesn't Dad deserve as much as Crispin's bolo tie? 277 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,450 Ugh, if only we had the power to change 278 00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,285 that dang-dumb-ding-dong law. 279 00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:24,545 (gasps) That's it. I'm a genius. 280 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,047 I'm so glad you asked. 281 00:09:26,215 --> 00:09:27,473 The process of changing a law 282 00:09:27,626 --> 00:09:30,051 is a long and arduous but fascinating journey. 283 00:09:30,145 --> 00:09:31,628 -Shall we begin? -Uh-oh. 284 00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:34,647 Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Billy New Law. 285 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,223 Bill, this is the Tobins. 286 00:09:36,468 --> 00:09:39,077 (squeaky voice): I hear you're curious about how I came to be. 287 00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:42,305 -Well, it wasn't the stork. -Oh, no. 288 00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:45,900 Now, I began as an idea in a state senator 289 00:09:45,994 --> 00:09:47,401 or congressperson's head. 290 00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:50,905 And then when I've been voted on and passed 291 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,957 by the Alaskan House of Representatives, 292 00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:55,501 up I go on the stairs of democracy 293 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,669 to the Alaskan Senate. 294 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,079 I thought I loved live theater, 295 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,823 but I'm realizing now that I hate live theater. 296 00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:02,934 Aw. Look at those little legs go! 297 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,495 All right, lunch time, bad boys. 298 00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:06,605 Ooh, curly fries. 299 00:10:06,681 --> 00:10:07,939 I've actually never tried them. 300 00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:09,515 You've never had curly fries? 301 00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:11,517 Nope. Getting something else off my "Nevers List." 302 00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:13,686 Okay, I'll bite. What else is on there? 303 00:10:13,839 --> 00:10:16,022 Never rented a car. Never seen an R-rated movie. 304 00:10:16,174 --> 00:10:18,174 -Never had sex. Never-- -Wait a minute. 305 00:10:18,193 --> 00:10:19,266 You've never had sex? 306 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,844 -Like... at all? -Nope. 307 00:10:20,937 --> 00:10:21,936 But I'm only 37. 308 00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:23,346 Well, you're gonna love it, 309 00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:24,956 but a word of advice: If you own a bedframe 310 00:10:25,108 --> 00:10:27,125 from Brayden's Discount Beds and Stoves, 311 00:10:27,352 --> 00:10:28,442 check your rivets first. 312 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,128 Those things are not built to last. 313 00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:32,780 Thanks for the tip. Mmm. These are delicious. 314 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,299 Well, I sprung for the curly fries 315 00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:37,636 because it's Beef's birthday. 316 00:10:37,787 --> 00:10:38,862 There was no need. 317 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,380 Hate to celebrate your birthday, huh? 318 00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:42,807 -Maybe. -And you... whispered to Burt 319 00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:44,142 so you'd get locked up on purpose 320 00:10:44,369 --> 00:10:45,551 to avoid celebrating it? 321 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:46,719 Ugh. How did you know? 322 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,962 I'm very familiar 323 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,147 with the criminal mind, Tobin. 324 00:10:49,374 --> 00:10:50,556 The dark nooks and corners 325 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,208 that would make other people sick. 326 00:10:52,227 --> 00:10:54,653 You don't like being the center of attention, is that it? 327 00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:55,803 Correct. Nailed it. 328 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,564 Where's my baby sister police chief? 329 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,217 Uh, where's my big sister police chief? 330 00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:04,237 Oh, boy, what's that smell? You guys keeping pigs in here? 331 00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:06,072 That voice. It can't be. 332 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,223 Cousin Danica? 333 00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:09,225 Surprise. Hello, Beef. 334 00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:10,894 What'd you get locked up for? 335 00:11:10,912 --> 00:11:13,413 Looking like a big Woody from Toy Story who also sucks? 336 00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:16,132 Yes, Danica, that's what I'm in jail for. Correct. 337 00:11:19,738 --> 00:11:21,996 All right, well, let's hit up that charcut. 338 00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:23,682 So, you two know each other? 339 00:11:23,909 --> 00:11:26,167 Yes. She's my cousin who also who once 340 00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:28,019 held my whole family hostage. 341 00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:30,763 It's probably not safe to have her in here with us! 342 00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:33,358 Sorry, Beef, but your cousin's got a court date tomorrow 343 00:11:33,509 --> 00:11:35,860 for robbing the Lone Moose Loan and Trust last year. 344 00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:37,362 And this is the only cell we've got. 345 00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:40,181 Well, hello there. My name is Peter. 346 00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:42,016 Well, hello there, Peter. 347 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,594 (scoffs) What, you don't have any insults for Pete? 348 00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:47,872 Oh, Peter here? Whom I have just met? No. I do not. 349 00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:50,283 However, I will tell you that your face 350 00:11:50,435 --> 00:11:51,951 looks like the volleyball from Castaway. 351 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:54,437 Still happy you went to jail for your birthday, Beef? 352 00:11:54,456 --> 00:11:57,031 Yep, yep, I'm fine. Very happy. 353 00:11:57,125 --> 00:11:58,550 Well, that did not work. 354 00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,460 I guess our father will be in jail forever. 355 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:03,446 The dreaded day has arrived when I have to contemplate 356 00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:05,281 how to kiss myself good night. 357 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,707 There's only one option left: 358 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,802 a full-scale military-style assault on the jail. 359 00:12:09,955 --> 00:12:11,712 Or what if we try an idea based on 360 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,547 one of my favorite shows, Prison Break? 361 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,142 If we can't break your dad out of jail, maybe... 362 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,384 we can break ourselves in. 363 00:12:17,479 --> 00:12:18,719 -Did it hurt? -What? 364 00:12:18,813 --> 00:12:22,148 When you fell from heaven with that perfect idea? 365 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,983 All right, so you want to break 366 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,152 some Alaskan laws and get into jail? 367 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,895 How about a straightforward blackmail? 368 00:12:27,989 --> 00:12:31,249 I happen to know that Vera's house has three too many gables. 369 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,901 We're thinking more like silly Alaskan laws, Roy. 370 00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,328 We don't want to get in real trouble. 371 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,072 Ah. Understood. It just so happens I spent 372 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:41,167 my last vacation making a very fun, very thorough 373 00:12:41,319 --> 00:12:43,744 Excel spreadsheet of obscure Alaskan regulations. 374 00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,430 Let me just grab my laptop. 375 00:12:45,507 --> 00:12:47,932 Oh, and we'll call the cops and let 'em know what's up. 376 00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:49,325 I'll disguise my voice. 377 00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:51,344 (Italian accent): It's-a me, Criminolio! 378 00:12:51,496 --> 00:12:54,755 Okay, crime spree, Lone Moose, today. 379 00:12:54,849 --> 00:12:58,684 Got it. Oh, uh, yes, you do sound very Italian, Wolf. 380 00:12:58,837 --> 00:13:01,337 I-I mean, anonymous tipster. 381 00:13:01,356 --> 00:13:05,116 I just got an "anonymous" tip that a major crime spree 382 00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:06,359 is about to hit Lone Moose. 383 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,787 Roger that, sis. I got this place on lockdown. 384 00:13:09,014 --> 00:13:10,789 All right, gang, looks like it's just-- 385 00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,365 Ooh, charcuter-me. 386 00:13:12,517 --> 00:13:13,941 Got to hit the little cop's room. 387 00:13:14,019 --> 00:13:15,368 For some reason, those five cups of coffee 388 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,610 and that whole block of cheese are just not 389 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,021 sitting right in my stomach. 390 00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,465 All right, lover, while that cop drops a deuce, 391 00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:21,707 we're breaking loose. 392 00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,026 Oh, no. Pete? 393 00:13:23,194 --> 00:13:24,360 You're working with her? 394 00:13:24,453 --> 00:13:25,953 Yep. And sorry to drag you into this, Beef. 395 00:13:26,047 --> 00:13:27,639 But hey, maybe you'll have a good time. 396 00:13:27,866 --> 00:13:30,033 ROY: All right, here's a fun one to get us started. 397 00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:34,295 It's illegal to give alcohol to most forms of wildlife, 398 00:13:34,372 --> 00:13:36,630 so all you need to do is find a moose 399 00:13:36,724 --> 00:13:38,149 that's looking to cut loose. 400 00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:41,210 -(siren whoops) -Let me see your hands! 401 00:13:41,304 --> 00:13:42,487 You leave him out of this! 402 00:13:42,638 --> 00:13:44,213 It's me you want! Not him! 403 00:13:44,232 --> 00:13:46,807 I'm... not gonna arrest the moose. 404 00:13:46,901 --> 00:13:50,386 He's a good boy! He's a good boy. 405 00:13:50,405 --> 00:13:52,813 And... ooh, you could get busted for occupying 406 00:13:52,907 --> 00:13:54,907 a travel trailer while it's being towed. 407 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,409 Yoo-hoo! 408 00:13:56,561 --> 00:13:59,412 -Pull over immediately. -You'll never take us alive! 409 00:13:59,564 --> 00:14:01,064 I'm just kidding, pulling over now. 410 00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,748 And, believe it or not, 411 00:14:02,825 --> 00:14:04,509 it is a crime to build a snowman 412 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:07,262 taller than yourself on school property. 413 00:14:08,164 --> 00:14:09,589 You don't want to do this, son. 414 00:14:09,665 --> 00:14:11,165 Think about your family. 415 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,409 That's exactly what I am doing. 416 00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:14,853 No! 417 00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,003 Hey! 418 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,914 How did everyone's crimes go? 419 00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:20,416 -MOON: Hello, Chief. -Ah! Moon? 420 00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:22,193 I figured I'd turn myself in. 421 00:14:22,345 --> 00:14:24,511 I think you'll find that slingshot right there 422 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,180 is unlicensed as hell. 423 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,773 WOLF: Hey, Dad. 424 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,442 Party patrol is here, whoop-whoop! 425 00:14:29,594 --> 00:14:31,703 -What the...? Dad's gone! -Oh, no. 426 00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,520 While I was peeing, they were fleeing. 427 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,874 Okay, okay, I was pooing, but, you know, that doesn't rhyme, 428 00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:37,542 so you could see why I didn't go with that version. 429 00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,952 Wow, Dad broke out of jail 430 00:14:40,105 --> 00:14:42,196 so he wouldn't have to celebrate his birthday? 431 00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:43,940 Deranged. That's fully deranged. 432 00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:45,049 We got to find him. 433 00:14:45,201 --> 00:14:46,626 Uh, I've got some bad news, guys. 434 00:14:46,778 --> 00:14:49,946 I think that Danica escaped and took your dad with her. 435 00:14:50,115 --> 00:14:51,614 -(gasps) -Wait, Danica? 436 00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:52,615 Like Cousin Danica? 437 00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:53,799 Yup, I brought her down here 438 00:14:53,952 --> 00:14:55,801 to stand trial for a local bank robbery. 439 00:14:55,954 --> 00:14:57,211 -But how'd she get out? -Huh. 440 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,472 Ooh, I know that "huh." 441 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,307 You're putting the pieces together, eh, sis? 442 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,734 Yeah, using the dark... uh... 443 00:15:02,885 --> 00:15:05,962 entrails of the criminal mind to make the-- uh... 444 00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,588 one bigger entrail... 445 00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:09,908 She must've had an accomplice who was already on the inside. 446 00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:11,984 And we all know Beef didn't want to get out. 447 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:13,302 So it must've been Pete. 448 00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:15,062 He could've brought anything into the cell. 449 00:15:15,156 --> 00:15:17,415 I didn't search him, 'cause, you know, he's Pete. 450 00:15:17,642 --> 00:15:18,917 -Oh, yeah. -Right. -No, no, I understand. 451 00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:21,310 He's not the smartest coconut on the bush. 452 00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,588 So, he helped Danica break out. 453 00:15:23,739 --> 00:15:25,998 But why? Cousin Danica is awful. 454 00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:30,077 Don't you see? Pete must be her late-night snack pack. 455 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,488 Her cabana cub. Her boyfriend. 456 00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:34,265 Aw, yay for Pete. 457 00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:36,342 What? I just want to see him happy. 458 00:15:36,494 --> 00:15:40,254 So you two are actually... involved? 459 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,664 Oh, yeah, big time. 460 00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:43,441 I mean, not the sex part yet, 461 00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,443 but that's gonna happen very soon, I think. 462 00:15:45,594 --> 00:15:48,095 -Right, honey? -Uh, yeah, right, the sex part. 463 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,114 Uh, later. After the robbing. 464 00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:52,558 I'll be, uh... very horny. 465 00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:54,510 Normally, I don't like that kind of language, 466 00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:57,363 but I'm just so... sexual right now, 467 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,123 I just can't control myself around you. 468 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,941 Music to my ears. (chuckles) 469 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,776 Okay, here's how this is gonna go down. 470 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,295 Pete, you keep Beef hostage 471 00:16:04,522 --> 00:16:05,946 near the door with the grenade. 472 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,781 Oh, boy, I wish you'd brought a gun like I said. 473 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,209 Sorry, this was all I could steal from my grandpa. 474 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,362 And I'll just put my finger in my pocket like this, I guess. 475 00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:14,530 I had a real gun last time 476 00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:16,123 so I'm pretty sure they'll believe me. 477 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,958 You know, you could've just left me in the cell. 478 00:16:18,052 --> 00:16:20,478 And let you rat us out to the cops? I don't think so. 479 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,722 Besides, I hate you and this is fun for me. 480 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:26,300 I, uh, think they're gonna figure this out. No offense. 481 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,727 -Shut it! -You keep talking to me. 482 00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:29,320 -You do, sweetie. -Peter! 483 00:16:29,506 --> 00:16:31,138 I didn't bring you along to point things out. 484 00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:33,566 Apologies, my experienced lover. 485 00:16:33,718 --> 00:16:35,051 All right. Let's go! 486 00:16:35,069 --> 00:16:36,310 Okay, everyone on the floor, 487 00:16:36,404 --> 00:16:37,996 -this is a robbery. -(patrons gasping) 488 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,726 Yes, that's it, put the money in that bag. 489 00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:47,063 And you, giant ears, you go get the rest out of the vault. 490 00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:48,655 Pete, I'm not judging 491 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:51,325 because I haven't had the best taste in women, historically, 492 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,344 but what do you see in her? 493 00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,254 Stay down! So I don't have to shoot you 494 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,423 and so I don't have to see your face. 495 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,275 Well, I've written a lot of female inmates 496 00:16:59,277 --> 00:17:01,244 and she's the only one that wrote me back. 497 00:17:01,337 --> 00:17:02,854 So I guess I see that in her. 498 00:17:03,005 --> 00:17:04,505 Please, I have a family. 499 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,839 Ugh, with those teeth? 500 00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:07,525 Must be a real freak show at home. 501 00:17:07,752 --> 00:17:09,527 Plus, as I said, I am a virgin. 502 00:17:09,754 --> 00:17:11,529 And, you know, Danica might not be perfect, 503 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,865 but I'm 37. And this whole virgin thing isn't 504 00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:16,442 gonna be cute anymore once I turn 37 and a half. 505 00:17:16,594 --> 00:17:19,203 So you've never had another opportunity to... 506 00:17:19,355 --> 00:17:20,930 you know... waka waka? 507 00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:22,689 Well, there is this one lady, Wanda. 508 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,934 She works at the seafood counter at Val-U-Buy. 509 00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,693 Ack-ack-ack-ack... Quiet down, Peter. 510 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,938 Your nasally voice is giving everyone a headache. 511 00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:30,773 So, me and Wanda, we sort of had a thing. 512 00:17:30,866 --> 00:17:33,384 And she really liked me. But then when the moment arrived, 513 00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:35,219 and she said, "I like you a lot, Pete. 514 00:17:35,296 --> 00:17:36,779 And I would like to make love with you..." 515 00:17:36,798 --> 00:17:38,372 (sighs) I clammed right up. 516 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,449 Because you didn't like the... attention? 517 00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:42,226 Oh, no, I just thought Wanda was so great 518 00:17:42,303 --> 00:17:46,046 and I, well, I don't think I felt like I... deserved it. 519 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,640 I guess I just didn't want to get my hopes up 520 00:17:47,792 --> 00:17:50,309 with someone that really liked me. And that I liked. 521 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,795 Huh. You and I might have more in common 522 00:17:52,814 --> 00:17:56,056 than just extremely unhealthy relationships with Danica. 523 00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:57,575 Oh, you also a virgin? 524 00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:59,485 I have four biological children. 525 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,228 -So, no. -Right, right. 526 00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:04,565 I meant I, uh, I got myself arrested 527 00:18:04,659 --> 00:18:07,568 'cause I thought my kids were throwing me a surprise party 528 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,646 and I thought I just didn't want to be the center of attention. 529 00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:13,482 But I'm realizing that when it comes to my birthday, 530 00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:16,319 I also feel I... I don't deserve it. 531 00:18:16,337 --> 00:18:18,337 When I was a kid, I liked my birthday 532 00:18:18,489 --> 00:18:20,098 and I hoped people would celebrate it. 533 00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:22,007 But they never did celebrate it. 534 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,659 My parents, I mean. 535 00:18:23,678 --> 00:18:26,104 So, somewhere along the line, I resolved myself 536 00:18:26,331 --> 00:18:28,272 never to get my birthday hopes up again. 537 00:18:28,499 --> 00:18:31,851 And so, every year, I don't let anyone celebrate me 538 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:34,278 'cause I figure if I never get my hopes up, they'll... 539 00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:36,447 well, they'll never get crushed. 540 00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:38,357 Oh, my God, Wanda! 541 00:18:38,509 --> 00:18:41,344 I got to-- Beef, I got to go to her. 542 00:18:41,362 --> 00:18:43,270 And I got to get to my kids. 543 00:18:43,364 --> 00:18:44,789 It's my freakin' birthday. 544 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,515 Hey! What are you two doing over there? 545 00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:48,126 No crying! This is a bank robbery! 546 00:18:48,353 --> 00:18:51,629 Here. I'm going to Wanda. To make love! 547 00:18:51,856 --> 00:18:54,357 -(groans) Give me the bag. -Don't give her the money! 548 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,192 That's just her finger in her pocket! 549 00:18:56,210 --> 00:18:58,043 No, it isn't. Uh... 550 00:18:58,196 --> 00:18:58,970 Bang! Bang! 551 00:18:59,197 --> 00:19:01,472 (grunt, panting) 552 00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:04,124 -Uh-oh. Oh, dang. -Get her, sis! 553 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,384 -(grunting) Ow. -Oh. Oh. 554 00:19:05,553 --> 00:19:08,387 -That was easy. Oh, hey, Beef. -Hi, there. 555 00:19:08,539 --> 00:19:10,148 Mind, uh, setting down the grenade? 556 00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:12,541 Oh, uh, yup, no problem. 557 00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:15,653 -Dad, we're so glad you're okay. -Me, too. 558 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,063 And kids, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... 559 00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:19,565 I had a great talk with Pete 560 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,643 while we were robbing a bank, and I realized that I... 561 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,162 never let you celebrate me 562 00:19:24,389 --> 00:19:25,646 because the little Beef in me-- 563 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,314 Ooh, not a good way to say that. 564 00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:30,168 Sorry, the-the small Beef, deep inside me. 565 00:19:30,395 --> 00:19:32,228 Also that. That was actually worse. 566 00:19:32,246 --> 00:19:34,505 Oh, my God, fine. My... my inner child 567 00:19:34,657 --> 00:19:37,341 is afraid I don't deserve to be celebrated. 568 00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,493 Because in the past, I've been let down. 569 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,346 On my birthday. Which I actually love. 570 00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:45,499 But about which I... didn't want to get my hopes up. 571 00:19:45,593 --> 00:19:46,851 Dad, that's not okay. 572 00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,627 You got to get your friggin' hopes up! 573 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,596 And of course you deserve to be celebrated. 574 00:19:50,748 --> 00:19:51,689 You know what's in that present? 575 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,840 It's a heated toilet seat. 576 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,694 For your big disgusting butt. And you deserve it. 577 00:19:56,879 --> 00:20:00,439 That is both an obscene luxury, and very thoughtful. 578 00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:04,443 And now, children, I am ready for my surprise party! 579 00:20:04,595 --> 00:20:06,871 Let us not keep the guests waiting any longer! 580 00:20:07,098 --> 00:20:08,188 Take me there! 581 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,357 Uh... your what? To what? 582 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,786 Uh, the surprise party you all planned? 583 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,547 Dad, we would never throw you a surprise party. 584 00:20:16,774 --> 00:20:18,941 But what about the birthday cake glitter I found? 585 00:20:19,034 --> 00:20:21,886 And Honeybee updated her "Ultimate Playlist." 586 00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:25,114 And Moon, you asked me if I thought banners were still cool. 587 00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:27,892 I mean, everyone was acting so strangely around me 588 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,227 in town the last few days. 589 00:20:29,378 --> 00:20:31,136 Dad, that glitter was for your card. 590 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:34,232 And a playlist doesn't stay ultimate if you don't update it. 591 00:20:34,383 --> 00:20:35,975 I was genuinely wondering how you feel 592 00:20:36,127 --> 00:20:37,384 about banners these days. 593 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,904 Well, I still like them very much. 594 00:20:40,055 --> 00:20:41,464 Almost as much as flags. 595 00:20:41,482 --> 00:20:44,075 Now, Dad, what would you think about after Maude's, 596 00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:46,302 we hop on a party bus to Cancun? 597 00:20:46,395 --> 00:20:48,971 BEEF: This party bus, does it need a driver? 598 00:20:49,064 --> 00:20:51,231 Because you know one thing I enjoy doing 599 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:54,493 is driving long, boring distances on very little sleep. 600 00:20:54,645 --> 00:20:57,237 WOLF: Oh, yeah, the wheel's all yours, birthday boy. 601 00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,073 ♪ Bustling city streets, new Internet posts ♪ 602 00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:02,835 ♪ The sun's rise and fall on the coasts ♪ 603 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,821 ♪ Things on this blue marble just keep going ♪ 604 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,173 ♪ On and on, never slowing ♪ 605 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:11,327 ♪ But there was one Saturday when the world stopped ♪ 606 00:21:11,345 --> 00:21:12,845 ♪ When Crispin put on that bolo tie ♪ 607 00:21:12,997 --> 00:21:14,497 ♪ And said, "Oh, this pops!" ♪ 608 00:21:14,557 --> 00:21:16,165 ♪ In that moment, all stood still ♪ 609 00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:19,852 ♪ And we all felt an extraordinary thrill ♪ 610 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,171 ♪ In unison, a "wow" escaped our lips ♪ 611 00:21:22,264 --> 00:21:25,116 -Wow! -♪ We're different than we were before ♪ 612 00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:27,451 ♪ Since we saw that bolo tie that Crispin ♪ 613 00:21:27,603 --> 00:21:29,361 ♪ Got at the thrift store. ♪ 614 00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:31,530 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 615 00:21:31,682 --> 00:21:32,748 and TOYOTA.