1
00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:04,003
-♪ look up there ♪
-♪ what do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,504
♪ nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:06,964
-♪ like a rock ♪
-♪ and a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:09,800
♪ oh, the great north ♪
5
00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:13,470
♪ way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
6
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:14,638
♪ catch some fish ♪
7
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,306
♪ or gaze at a bear ♪
8
00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,474
♪ wow ♪
9
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:20,978
♪ oh, the great north ♪
10
00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,187
♪ here we live, oh, oh ♪
11
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:23,856
♪ here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
12
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,232
♪ from longest night
to longest day ♪
13
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:29,361
♪ in the great north. ♪
14
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,073
[cheering]
15
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:37,995
-♪ all the nets are in.
My traps are checked. ♪
-[phone rings]
16
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:40,622
-Hello?
-Beef cheeks, it's carissa.
17
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:43,417
Me and dorothy and marie are
going to gals guzzle free night
18
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,586
At the daiquiri cave
in kenai. You wanna come?
19
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,254
Gonna be a lotta sturdy
broads there!
20
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:50,841
Oh, I wish but...
My... Nets are tangled,
21
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,293
And my traps are on fire.
Uh-oh!
22
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:56,138
[chuckles nervously]
uh, so gotta take a rain check.
23
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,348
Beef, I love ya,
but you're a terrible liar.
24
00:00:58,476 --> 00:01:00,142
You should be meetin'
some bishes instead
25
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,852
Of catchin' fishes,
but your loss.
26
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,270
Smell you later.
27
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,396
[sighs]
28
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,024
Time to unwind after
a full day of fishing
29
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:09,068
With a little more fishing.
30
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,612
[chuckles, grunts]
31
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,530
[creaking]
32
00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,531
Oh, no.
33
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:16,325
Ah!
34
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,578
[gasping]
35
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:23,832
I'll just swim back.
Oh, god, the current. [groans]
36
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,502
Oh, my leg is so stuck.
[grunts]
37
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,920
Okay, think, beef.
38
00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,421
Your leg is stuck in the net.
39
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,714
You gotta get untangled.
40
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,800
But pulling is seeming
to tighten the ropes.
41
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:33,926
[shivers]
42
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,928
Cold water. Hypothermia.
43
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:39,056
-Probably have
15 minutes at best.
-Beef.
44
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,350
-What?
-Relax.
45
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,976
It's all okay.
46
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,353
God? Is that you?
47
00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:47,064
Sorry I said
I thought you were imaginary.
48
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,732
[chuckles]
it's not god, beef.
49
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,359
It's me! Your penis.
50
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,487
Oh, man, hypothermia
must be setting in.
51
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,280
Wait, why do you have
a southern accent?
52
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,824
'cause I'm from down south.
53
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,117
On your body. I mean...
54
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,993
I was, when I was alive.
55
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,204
But now I'm dead.
56
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,541
And I'm in heaven.
Me. Your beautiful body handle.
57
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,418
Deceased. Because you haven't
used me in years.
58
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:11,121
What? That's not true.
What about last month?
59
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,257
The latest issue of
fisherwoman's quarterly.
60
00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:14,842
That was a few minutes of fun.
61
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:17,177
I'm not talking about
catchin' your own cod,
62
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,929
I'm talking about sex.
63
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,430
Sex is kinda my thing.
64
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:23,225
Well, I never have
the opportunity to meet anyone.
65
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,102
"I never have
the opportunity..." [scoffs]
66
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,512
You pass up opportunities
all the time.
67
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:29,773
You just passed up
an opportunity to go to
68
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,859
Gals guzzle free night
with carissa.
69
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:32,985
I have ears, you know.
70
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:34,611
-You do?
-Kinda.
71
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,990
Anyway, saying no to going
to a literal ladies night
72
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,491
Was the last straw for me.
73
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:42,703
It killed me.
Just come join me in heaven.
74
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:43,954
But I don't want to die.
75
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,330
Well, then, maybe
I could help you.
76
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,749
-Please!
-If you could also help me.
77
00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:51,128
-I'll do anything.
-Promise me you'll actually
start living,
78
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,379
Get me in the game?
79
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,006
Because I'm not asking
for a lot!
80
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,299
I'd take a-a one-night stand.
81
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,134
Or, I don't know,
let's say you meet a lady
82
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,343
At the bus station.
83
00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,845
Y'all go to the bathroom
together.
84
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,346
She gets you up
on the changing table.
85
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:02,723
Her teeth fall out,
but who cares?
86
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,224
Maybe that's part of it.
87
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:07,186
Wait, what am I saying?
Please, help me get untangled!
88
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,646
Okay, the net is tangled
around your left foot.
89
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,773
It's in a kind of a cinch knot,
so slide it up your leg
90
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,276
To loosen it,
then wiggle your foot out.
91
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,195
[grunting]
92
00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:17,821
Holy hell.
93
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,283
I'm alive. I'm alive!
94
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:25,162
[panting]
sorry... I'm... Late.
95
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,414
Uh, beef, you okay there?
96
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,458
You look like the bear
from the revenant.
97
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,211
Uh, dad?
What happened to you?
98
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,254
Okay, I know this
might sound bonkers,
99
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,673
But I had
a near-death experience,
100
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,592
And I... Saw something.
101
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,720
The cherubic faces
of your beloved children?
102
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,348
No, I saw my...
103
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:49,144
...My penis in the sky,
and it spoke unto me.
104
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:52,105
So you passed out,
had a dream?
105
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:55,025
This was no dream,
it was an epiphany.
106
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,820
My, uh, genital member was angry
107
00:03:58,948 --> 00:03:59,947
About me not having...
108
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,531
-A falcon?
-Sex.
109
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,117
And that's my cue.
Glad you're okay, dad.
110
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,036
I'll be on the porch
not talking about this.
111
00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:07,579
I'm also suppressing
a scream of terror
112
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:09,790
At the prospect of discussing
dad's boudoir journey,
113
00:04:09,908 --> 00:04:11,625
But I like to be perceived
as sex-positive,
114
00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:14,461
And I want dad to be happy,
so I'm just gonna stay here
115
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:18,081
But just nod and say "mmm...
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
116
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,842
I, on the other hand,
am ready to dig in.
117
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,178
Father, are you saying
that your downstairs dad
118
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,013
Wants you to get a girlfriend?
119
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,932
He's not looking for commitment.
120
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,225
He's after a one-night stand.
121
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,476
Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm.
122
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,478
Maybe me and honeybee can
find you a date,
123
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,105
And then we can all
go out together!
124
00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:34,481
Ah, it's always been
a dream of mine
125
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,483
To do some double-teaming
with my dad.
126
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,277
I hope to god that's not
what you meant to say.
127
00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:39,945
Thank you for the offer, son.
128
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,363
But I've gleaned from tv
129
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,116
That if all I'm looking for
is a "hooking up,"
130
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:46,785
I should just get on the...
Uh, applications.
131
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,371
Oh, yeah, if you're just after
a little straddle-and-skedaddle,
132
00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:50,664
Then dating apps
are just the ticket.
133
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,374
All right,
once we finish dinner,
134
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:55,335
I will expose myself
to the internet.
135
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,879
Hey, moon. Did you have
to fart during dinner
136
00:04:58,007 --> 00:04:59,298
So you came outside?
137
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,674
It happens to me all the time.
138
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,719
Just last week I had to run
out of steak 'n shake.
139
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,262
Actually,
the indoor conversation
140
00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:08,056
Got a little too grown-up
for my liking.
141
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,266
What are you up to, jerry?
142
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:10,851
Oh, I was just
stopping by to grab
143
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,019
My spare bigfoot head.
144
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,729
I left it over here last week.
145
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:14,813
Classy.
146
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,064
-May I?
-Yeah.
147
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:21,153
Whoa, baby bigfoot.
Ooh, this is giving me an idea.
148
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,904
My gigs have slowed down
a little lately,
149
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,740
And I could use a new gimmick.
150
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,408
You want to play
bigfoot's baby brother
151
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:28,243
At the birthday gig
I'm headed to?
152
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,495
-For real?
-Heck yeah, it'll be fun.
153
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,831
Plus, I always wanted
a real-life baby brother,
154
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,249
But it never happened.
155
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,126
-So what do you say?
-I'm in.
156
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,544
And we can split the tip.
157
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,422
Free money? Okay, you're
already my new best big brother.
158
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,758
Let me go inform my family
about my new life.
159
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,762
Okay, I uploaded the only
picture we have of dad smiling.
160
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,055
Remember?
We took it after
161
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,431
You saw that monkey
wearing human clothes.
162
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:52,642
[laughs] it's not what
they're supposed to wear.
163
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:55,145
-So, I guess I just
click this button...
-[computer chimes]
164
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,356
-Oh, hey, you matched.
-Wonderful.
165
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,399
What do I do?
Send her a letter in the mail?
166
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,610
You meet her tonight
at the russian restaurant.
167
00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,904
And... Send. If things go well,
you'll be getting
168
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:07,407
-An extra side of russian
un-dressing. [laughs]
-I hope so.
169
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:11,203
Life is precious, and I cannot
squander this second chance.
170
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,373
I must do what
my trouser captain demands.
171
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,084
Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm...
172
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:18,960
Hello, uh...
173
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,128
-Tracy?
-Hi.
174
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,797
Hi. I'm sex tobin.
175
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,215
I'm here for beef. I mean sex.
176
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,883
I mean I'm here for a date.
177
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,176
Sex. Beef. [groans]
178
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,929
-Sex me.
-I'm gonna go.
179
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,014
Oof.
Rough start, but that's okay.
180
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,891
We gotta get you
back on that horse.
181
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,976
That sex horse. Yee-haw, dad!
182
00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:36,061
-Mm-hmm.
-[computer chimes]
183
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,562
Ooh. Here we go.
184
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,232
I wonder if I've ever eaten
a fish that you caught.
185
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,859
[laughs] that sure is
fun to think about.
186
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,111
It is.
187
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,562
I hope you're
enjoying your drink.
188
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,239
-Oh, I am.
-You're welcome.
189
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:50,033
-I don't follow.
-I invented cups.
190
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,993
You invented cups?
191
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,788
-Oh, yes. [laughs]
-is this a joke?
192
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,333
Also, I know you're...
Hillary clinton. Mm.
193
00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:00,252
I can't wait to wriggle
that skin suit off you
194
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,587
-Back at my place.
-To be expected.
195
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:05,048
You're gonna meet some people
who are bonkers in the wonkers.
196
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,759
Right. Back on
the sex horse I sit again.
197
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:08,969
Maybe I'll get earplugs,
198
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,762
Or perhaps
the lord will take me.
199
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:11,888
Oh, here we go.
200
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,682
This lady looks nice and normal.
201
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,933
Uh, nina?
202
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,268
[baby-talking]
hello, daddy!
203
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:19,146
-My diaper was full.
-Oh, no.
204
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,815
Beef!
♪ here comes your bride ♪
205
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,733
♪ her name is me. ♪
-nope.
206
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,694
No, no, no, no, no, no.
207
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,654
Um, barbie?
208
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,031
[baby-talking]
uh-oh, I dwopped my pacifier,
daddy.
209
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:34,369
Guys, I've been out every night
this week. I'm exhausted.
210
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:38,039
And a new issue of fisherwoman's
quarterly arrived today,
211
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:41,084
So maybe I'll stay in
and just read.
212
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,627
Beef, that last app sucked, but
213
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:45,255
I found one called lumber love
that seems more your speed.
214
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,215
You're meeting
a gal called dee tonight.
215
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,426
She says she's gonna be
wearing head-to-toe plaid.
216
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,595
-Well, that is a great start.
-[knock on door]
217
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,847
Hey, guys.
I'm here to pick moon up.
218
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,099
Bigfoot and his little brother
are a big hit.
219
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,517
This is our fifth party
this week.
220
00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,302
Let's go do what bigfeet do.
221
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,272
Stackin' bills
and delivering thrills.
222
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,065
[door opens]
223
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:11,656
[sighs] well, there's my date
in head-to-toe plaid.
224
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,868
Hey, delmer. I think there might
have been a fun little mix-up.
225
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:15,911
Oh, hell no!
226
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,205
[groans] sorry, mr. P,
227
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,373
-I really tried.
-Ow!
228
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:22,375
Greta? What are
you doing on the ground?
229
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,253
Oh, it's silly, I have something
called "cottage cheese knees."
230
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,796
The dumb things
just give out sometimes.
231
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,758
I was just heading in
for a drink. Are you leaving?
232
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,971
Buffalo wild wings.
233
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,349
That was because of the sex.
234
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,179
Good morning.
Oh, wow, beef.
235
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,481
You sure made a lot of bacon.
236
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,233
Which is great,
because I'm pork deficient.
237
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,151
If I don't eat at least
a half a pound a day,
238
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,402
My doctor says
my hands could fall off.
239
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,030
I know it's just
the two of us, but I set
240
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,573
Six places out of habit.
241
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:54,783
I love it! I mean,
242
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,284
Who doesn't love breakfast?
243
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,369
Well, there was
my old co-worker kedden
244
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,037
Who used to scream
at his hash browns
245
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,997
In the break room, but he died.
246
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,083
I also packed you
a nutritious lunch.
247
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,377
So, that's there
if you should want it.
248
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,503
I... [clears throat]
249
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,047
...Um, haven't really,
uh, had, you know,
250
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,216
A romantic encounter in a while.
251
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,676
I wasn't sure how to act.
252
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,553
Beef, just because
we knocked galoshes
253
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,805
Doesn't mean we have to act
any differently.
254
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,392
-We're just friends who boned.
-Friends who boned.
255
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,686
Okay, I like the sound of that.
256
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:23,937
Well, I have to go home
257
00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:25,313
And prepare this exact same meal
258
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,983
For my entire family
before they wake up.
259
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:29,818
-[family] surprise!
-Oh, uh...
260
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,279
We noticed you didn't come home
last night,
261
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,155
So we threw a little something
together for you.
262
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:35,949
Was it everything
you'd hoped for?
263
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,409
Rose petals? Candles?
264
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,494
A single hershey's kiss
on your pillowcase?
265
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,080
-Spill.
-Or, you know, don't spill.
At all.
266
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,082
Son, those details are private.
267
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,667
Ah, but what the heck?
268
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,961
Give me a slice
of that one-night-stand cake.
269
00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:49,296
Why is there breakfast cake?
270
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,047
More like sex-fest cake! Ha-ha!
271
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,967
-Dad went all the way!
-And back up I go.
272
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,677
Take me with you.
273
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,679
We did it, my penis.
274
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,348
We had a one-night stand.
Of sex!
275
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,685
♪ oh, yeah,
a one-night stand of sex ♪
276
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,229
♪ we're just friends who boned ♪
277
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,689
♪ a one-night stand of sex ♪
278
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,816
♪ a one-night stand
of sex ♪
279
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,151
♪ oh, sex! ♪
280
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,279
Man, we're making money
hand over fist.
281
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:15,947
And I'm finally getting
to experience
282
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,073
The big brother thing.
283
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,408
Who knew it'd be so much fun
284
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,243
Buying my little brother
an amount of ice cream
285
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:21,828
That would make him
physically sick?
286
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:25,874
-You're nailing it, jer.
-Well, hello, hello, hello.
287
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,083
Um... Hello.
288
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,044
We heard
you've been doin' parties
289
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,795
Around town, as a duo.
290
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:34,299
Even heard you did ryan
ferguson's sixth birthday party.
291
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,468
-Uh, yeah.
-Ferguson is our gig!
292
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:37,636
There's only room for one
293
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,387
Big/little party duo
in this town.
294
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,264
Used to be big cher
and little cher.
295
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:44,392
Then someone gave 'em
a pair of concrete wigs.
296
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:49,064
Now the only big/little duo
is us. Capisce?
297
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,191
Okay, that was freaky.
298
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,400
Don't worry about it,
little bro.
299
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,235
They're just
party entertainers.
300
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,445
Yeah,
what's the worst they could do?
301
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,113
Hit us with
a bucket of confetti?
302
00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:59,866
Or make us
a delightful balloon animal?
303
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:02,035
Honestly, I'd welcome it.
304
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:03,870
-Hmm...
-[beef] good morning,
305
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:04,996
-My fine family.
-[gasps]
306
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:05,997
What are you looking at?
307
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,123
-Hi, dad.
-Morning.
308
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:07,999
-Uh, nothing.
-Uh, dad,
309
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,209
If you're thinking about reading
310
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,627
The poetry corner,
don't bother.
311
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,711
It's just dumb.
312
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,213
But today's obituaries
are popping off.
313
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,547
Don't be ridiculous, judy.
314
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:17,050
You know poetry corner is
always my first stop
315
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,843
After I read the date.
316
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,303
"October 14th."
317
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,471
[chuckles]
pretty good.
318
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,640
Hey! Uh, should we all go
on a road trip?
319
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:24,557
Huh? Vegas?
320
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,226
-Let's go!
-Not now, son.
321
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,395
And I'd thank you
not to throw keys at my head.
322
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,272
Today's poem:
"red meat no gristle,
323
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,024
"late night guided missile.
324
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,276
By... Greta meatweep."
325
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,486
Hmm...
326
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:37,987
"when he helped me up
in the parking lot,
327
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,781
"suddenly things got very hot.
328
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:43,702
"in the darkness entwined,
on each other, we dined.
329
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:44,953
"I was disrobing,
330
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,871
He was... Beef tobin."
331
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,498
Oh, my god.
332
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,838
"bedclothes askew;
aroma, beef stew.
333
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,256
"night gives way to dawn,
334
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,883
-And yet our lovemaking
goes on."
-[groans]
335
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,427
-[groaning]
-mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
336
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:01,511
Very cool!
337
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,805
I wanted a discreet
one-night stand,
338
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,391
Not to be the star
of a literary sex tape.
339
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,518
Dad, you got to celebrate
your accomplishments.
340
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,271
This poem is going
right up on the fridge.
341
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,273
[groans]
I listened to my sky member,
342
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,275
And now I'm the town trollop.
343
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,609
Dad, relax.
344
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,445
I don't think anyone is
gonna care much about this.
345
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,238
When crispin and I
started dating
346
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,781
We thought we'd be
the talk of the town.
347
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,367
You know, being a new couple
in a small alaskan village,
348
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:26,286
But people moved on
pretty quickly.
349
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,704
Frankly, a little more quickly
350
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,205
Than my ego was
comfortable with.
351
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,623
And, beef, I didn't even know
352
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,792
There was a poetry corner
in the lone moose wind.
353
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,419
I bet no one's even read this.
354
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:35,754
You're probably right.
355
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,380
I mean, kids today,
with their video games
356
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,716
And their linkedins,
and their... Kites.
357
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,135
I'm sure nobody cares
about my sex-capades.
358
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,678
[groaning] mm-hmm.
[squealing] mm-hmm!
359
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,347
I'm just gonna go run
my errands and, uh,
360
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,600
Not give it a second thought.
361
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,312
♪ ♪
362
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,987
[ham]
dad? You okay?
363
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,614
You're sitting
on your brooding log.
364
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,159
I was in town, and it seems
like many other ladies
365
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,036
Wanted me to dip my...
366
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,872
Beef taquito in their...
Lady queso.
367
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,123
[groaning]
mm-hmm.
368
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,917
Which I know a lot of guys
would dig,
369
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,710
But being
the center of attention
370
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,128
Just isn't my style.
371
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,963
Dad, if you don't like
all the attention,
372
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,298
You should go talk to greta.
373
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,674
She should know
that you'd rather keep
374
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,635
Any further rhyming couplets
about your romp private.
375
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,138
All right, hamjam.
When did you become so wise?
376
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,349
Oh, uh, about three years ago.
377
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,100
[moon]
pretty crazy that we've done
378
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,061
Three parties
for this family in one week.
379
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,980
[jerry]
yeah, they always give
little jay-jay three parties.
380
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,982
He's gonna grow up
to be a monster.
381
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,192
Hey, what in the...
382
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:42,320
I think those damn clowns
pied your car.
383
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,072
[engine starts]
384
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,740
-[honks horn] honk-honk, bitch.
-[yelps]
385
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,200
Oh! How'd you get in here?
386
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,619
You just couldn't leave
well enough alone, could you?
387
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,037
Since you boys can't
take a hint,
388
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,206
Here's an ultimatum:
Costume battle.
389
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,041
Woods. Tomorrow night.
You. Us.
390
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,501
Couple other guys.
Derek's a maybe.
391
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,295
Appetizers, but not a meal.
You get the picture.
392
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,089
What the hell's
a costume battle?
393
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,132
It's how us local party
entertainers settle
394
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,551
This kind of score.
395
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:07,679
Winner gets to keep their act.
Loser loses theirs.
396
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,013
[grunts]
397
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:12,350
Boy, these clowns make
the one from it seem chill.
398
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,727
I hope no one was
watching them leave.
399
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:15,979
Be real disappointing to see
400
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:18,273
Only two clowns
get out of a car.
401
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,274
[knocking]
402
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:22,235
Hello, greta.
I read your poem.
403
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:23,361
Oh, you did? I'm so glad.
404
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,071
I was so stirred
by our lovemaking
405
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,115
That I was finally
able to rhyme.
406
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,575
Would you like to come in?
407
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,201
I, uh...
408
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:31,452
Yes, beef?
409
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,621
Yes...
410
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:35,373
[ham]
so...
411
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,459
Based on this second,
very graphic poem,
412
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:39,961
I'm guessing
you didn't tell greta
413
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,170
That you didn't love
the first one?
414
00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:43,548
Well, I tried, but... No.
415
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,675
Let me guess, you made
significant eye contact
416
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,010
And then just boned again.
417
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,095
-We did.
-Hoo...
418
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,806
"more beef broth
overfloweth my trough,
419
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,099
By greta meatweep."
420
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,267
It's a great title
for the sequel.
421
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,019
Wait. Let me just...
Brace myself.
422
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,312
Okay. Proceed.
423
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,814
"prime rib sandwich,
open face.
424
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,816
Mid-day gravy, hot embrace."
425
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,818
[straining]
no! No!
426
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,236
Nope, nope, nope!
427
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:06,646
Sorry, I tried to be cool,
but I am not this cool.
428
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,780
Good luck, dad.
429
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,198
And I am going to go upstairs
to my room
430
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,116
And then out the window
to a therapist!
431
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,077
[laughs hysterically]
432
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,163
And I shall go to my room.
433
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,331
For the foreseeable future,
434
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,458
I shall moor
my personal watercraft
435
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,960
In the safe harbor
of my own underpants.
436
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,796
Hey, judy, you want to bring
the table piece back?
437
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,757
I could get started fixing it.
438
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,467
[loud rock music playing]
439
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,760
Huh.
440
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,261
This seems kind of bad.
441
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,805
Uh-huh. And I think
you'll share my concern...
442
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:35,683
-Where are the frickin'
appetizers?
-Oh, there's noodie the noodle.
443
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,936
Looks like he's been
hitting the sauce pretty hard.
444
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,229
-Didn't think you'd show up.
-Yeah, we showed up.
445
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,440
And you messed up
by messing with
446
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,775
My big bigfoot bro!
447
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:44,901
Go on, jerry. Get 'em!
448
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:47,070
Oh, moon! No, no, no, no.
Don't say that.
449
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,738
-Uh, I-I'm not--
-all right.
450
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:49,989
Here's how this goes down.
451
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,449
First we strip down
to our underwear
452
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,826
So we don't stain
our costumes with blood.
453
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,036
Then we fist-fight.
454
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,996
Then winners burn
the losers' costumes.
455
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,957
But first,
everybody gets ten minutes
456
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,375
To do whatever drugs they want.
457
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,668
Moon, look.
458
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,628
I think I've been so focused
on being a fun brother
459
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,922
That I forgot about
the other big brother stuff,
460
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,298
Like protecting you.
461
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,925
I mean, taking you
to a clearing in the woods
462
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,259
With a bunch of psychopaths?
463
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,387
That's not ideal
big brother behavior.
464
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,223
I think it might be time
to retire our bigfoot team.
465
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,767
But maybe we could just
hang out sometimes.
466
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:18,935
Oh, definitely.
467
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,354
Okay. When I say, "run," run.
468
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,730
-Run!
-Hey!
469
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:23,731
Get back here.
470
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,316
Where are you going?
[honks horn]
471
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,819
I'll miss you...!
472
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,070
[ham]
okay...
473
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,863
Yeah, this is bad.
474
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:31,906
Very, very bad.
475
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,282
Morning, my sibs.
476
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,784
Uh-oh. Your plates are
saying flapjacks,
477
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,203
But your faces are saying,
"oh, crap."
478
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:39,539
"my eager vegan
by greta meatweep"?
479
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,291
"your long blonde rattail
glistening in the sun.
480
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:46,087
Your lips like silken tofu,
your patchouli-soaked man bun."
481
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,339
Uh-oh. This poem is not
about your dad.
482
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,761
"truffle hunting at night,
my garden delight.
483
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:57,181
I unearthed his carrot,
and with glee he did share it."
484
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,142
I know this poem's not
about dad,
485
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:00,393
But I still hate it.
486
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,103
Looks like greta took
a veggie dip.
487
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,312
Dad's gonna be devastated.
488
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,647
He's just gotten himself
489
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,399
Back on the market,
and now he's being recalled.
490
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,067
-Gee! Hi-hi, hi.
-[stammering] hi.
491
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,277
[chuckles nervously]
hi, dad.
492
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,612
What, uh...
What's going on?
493
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:12,739
Oh, th-th-the...
494
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,115
Whole yard is-is on fire,
495
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,993
So... You better... Go...
496
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,995
Oh. I see.
497
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,039
Excuse me.
498
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,126
-Oh, no, greta broke his heart.
-I'll go after him.
499
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,670
-Wolf, no.
-But he's... Sad.
500
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:28,838
Yes, wolf, probably.
501
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,174
But look, dad chose
to sleep with somebody.
502
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,508
Twice.
And it got complicated.
503
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,177
But as someone
who has had to think about
504
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,220
This kind of relationship
and sex crap
505
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,181
From the time he was...
[scoffs] 12
506
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,974
And first saw
a knight rider rerun...
507
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,101
Hasselhoff.
Vroom-vroom, baby.
508
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,312
Exactly. And that car was
no slouch, either.
509
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,230
Look, as a gay dude,
I always knew that
510
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:49,192
My love life might bring me
a bit of, mm... Scrutiny.
511
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:52,070
But the other choice,
hiding away, kind of sucks.
512
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,238
And we got to let dad
process that.
513
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,949
Even if it means he lives
in the shed for a month or two,
514
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,451
Mumbling and
eating cold spaghetti.
515
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,411
Okay, then,
batten down the hatches.
516
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,122
It's about to get
very forlorn around here.
517
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,667
Come on, penis, show yourself.
We need to talk.
518
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,879
Ugh, maybe I have to be
at risk of death.
519
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,631
I guess I have to get in.
520
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:18,179
Oh, no! I'm in danger.
I could die.
521
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,848
Beef! My man!
What is up?
522
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,183
I am really proud of you.
523
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,811
You're the conductor
of the bone town express.
524
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:25,812
Choo-choo!
525
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,188
No. I am not that.
526
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,524
Although I do like trains.
But I'm upset.
527
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,901
Oh. Is it because
greta took another lover?
528
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,027
The vegan?
529
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,112
How do you know that?
530
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,197
Beef, I'm a part of you.
531
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,074
I know everything you do.
532
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,034
I know you're about to fart
right now.
533
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,869
Well, you're wro--
oh.
534
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:43,121
[chuckles] see?
535
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:44,580
So, what's the big deal
about greta?
536
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,623
You jealous?
537
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,250
No.
And that's what I'm upset about.
538
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,502
I was always kind of jealous
of kathleen,
539
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,003
So why am I not devastated
540
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:52,630
That I'm not greta's
only boy toy?
541
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:57,093
Has having casual sex turned me
into some kind of a lothario?
542
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,302
Beef, if you want answers,
543
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,346
You need to talk
to the guy who sent me.
544
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,850
No offense to me,
but I am pretty dumb.
545
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,059
Someone sent you?
546
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,978
Your heart sent me.
547
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,229
-Hey, heart.
-Oh, hey, fellas.
548
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,981
I was just thinking about
this cat I saw once
549
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,232
That only had three paws.
550
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,692
He rode around
on a little scooter.
551
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,152
-He was so brave.
-'sup, dennis.
552
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,945
My heart's name is dennis?
553
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,521
-Your name is beef?
-Fair.
554
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:19,782
Beef, it's not just
your down-below dangler
555
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:20,867
That's been dead for years.
556
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,034
It's me, too.
557
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,661
What? I use you all the time.
558
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,413
I-I love the kids.
And the boat.
559
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,248
And that cat
with the three paws.
560
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,375
I remember when we saw jangles
on that website.
561
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,419
Beef, I'm talking about
romantic love.
562
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,129
I haven't gotten
to feel that in years.
563
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:36,007
Okay, but then
why'd you send my wiener?
564
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,383
Come on, beef,
we all know the saying,
565
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,177
"the penis is the gateway
to the heart."
566
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,469
That's not a saying.
567
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,971
Sure it is.
I have it on a bumper sticker.
568
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,097
You have a car?
569
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,390
Sort of.
Well, it's complicated.
570
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,642
Look, beef, the point is,
if you don't start
571
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,811
Getting your old rod and reel
back in the game,
572
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,146
Then I have no chance, either.
573
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,106
And we've got a lot of
good years ahead of us.
574
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,608
So you're saying that if I keep
575
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:55,318
-Doing the deed...
-Hell yeah!
576
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,944
...You can handle that, dennis?
577
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,613
I mean,
you were really messed up
578
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,198
Back when you-know-who ran off.
579
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,616
Oh, yeah.
I was a disaster.
580
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,492
Remember how we used to have
to lie down in the shower
581
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,203
Every time
an air supply song came on?
582
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,996
We were both hanging on
by our fingertips.
583
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,039
But I'm better now.
584
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,415
Hmm. I guess that's true.
585
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,292
These days,
when I hear air supply,
586
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,627
I just turn the radio off
587
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,671
And sometimes rub a cool rag
across my forehead.
588
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:18,341
We're just asking you
not to fish your whole life away
589
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,551
While your friends go
to gals guzzle free night.
590
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:24,138
Okay, I'll do what you guys want
and get out there again.
591
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,974
Yes! But, beef, it's actually
what you want.
592
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:28,768
'cause we're you, ding-dong.
593
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:31,103
Hey, since we're gonna be
getting back out there again,
594
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,939
Maybe we call
that doll lady, huh?
595
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,106
-No.
-[beef] absolutely not.
596
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,400
But I will keep trying.
I promise.
597
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,027
All right, well, we'll be
seeing you around, beef.
598
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,070
Bye, player.
599
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,404
Don't be afraid to reach out.
600
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,865
Wait, my penis.
I never got your name.
601
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,326
It's cindy...
602
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,248
Thanks for all the support
through the years,
603
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,916
Captain christy covington,
604
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,835
Beast of bass fishing
and three-time cover girl.
605
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,088
But I got this now.
606
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,006
You know what?
A man can change his mind.
607
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,550
♪ the penis is the gateway
to the heart ♪
608
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,261
♪ I'm your jonhson ♪
609
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:05,096
♪ and I'm where
you should start ♪
610
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,890
♪ I'm here to hold your hand
through love ♪
611
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,976
♪ and I'm closer to your farts ♪
612
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,560
♪ it's me ♪
613
00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:13,145
♪ the downsouth donald ♪
614
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:15,106
♪ that's the gateway
to your heart ♪
615
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,857
♪ people see me hanging around ♪
616
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,359
♪ think I'm up to nothing good ♪
617
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,986
♪ but I have schemes and dreams,
you know ♪
618
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,070
♪ I'm not just made of wood ♪
619
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,280
♪ not just made of wood ♪
620
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:23,656
♪ get to know me better ♪
621
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:25,449
♪ and you'll see I can unlock ♪
622
00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:26,701
♪ the golden road
to that hunky dude ♪
623
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,369
♪ the one that beats ticktock ♪
624
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,204
♪ I'm the penis,
the gateway to your heart. ♪
625
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,372
Captioning sponsored by
bento box entertainment
626
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,915
And toyota.
627
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,625
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org