1 00:00:02,578 --> 00:00:04,728 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,747 --> 00:00:05,987 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,156 --> 00:00:07,655 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:10,158 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,252 --> 00:00:13,587 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,088 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,241 --> 00:00:16,907 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:17,999 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:21,169 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,354 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,023 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,099 --> 00:00:26,025 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:29,486 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:32,015 --> 00:00:33,590 [cheering] 15 00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:37,536 Arf, arf. That's the sound of history being made. 16 00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:39,354 The biggest sled dog race in the world-- 17 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,374 the Alaskan Iditarod-- is mushing through Lone Moose, 18 00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:45,527 and a Lone Moose resident is in this year's race: 19 00:00:45,621 --> 00:00:47,046 Toast the dog. 20 00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:50,107 Fans will soon gather for an Idita-fest that'll have you 21 00:00:50,276 --> 00:00:52,384 wagging your tails and begging for more. 22 00:00:52,536 --> 00:00:54,961 I can't believe we have such a huge local celebrity. 23 00:00:55,114 --> 00:00:57,614 I had the honor of being bitten by Toast once. 24 00:00:57,783 --> 00:01:00,784 I mean, he could have bitten anyone, and he bit me. 25 00:01:00,803 --> 00:01:03,378 Well, get ready for a taste of greatness again, Dad, 26 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,065 'cause me and Judy are baking Toast a special cake 27 00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:07,382 with dog-friendly ingredients. 28 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,809 And we're gonna hold it out so he can take 29 00:01:08,961 --> 00:01:10,569 a little nibble as he goes by, just like those people 30 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,904 with water cups at marathons. 31 00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:13,980 I'm so thrilled my mom decided to fly in for this. 32 00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,558 I had no idea your mom was such a hound hound. 33 00:01:16,652 --> 00:01:18,726 Well, she's first and foremost a country music hound. 34 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,913 And her favorite country song is Iditarod Rod's 35 00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:22,472 "Night of a Thousand Dogs." 36 00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:24,474 So she can't wait to see the song come to life. 37 00:01:24,493 --> 00:01:26,418 And we're gonna go to all the Toast-based attractions 38 00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:28,312 around town, too. The Pop-Up Idita-shop 39 00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:29,830 at the mall, the Russian restaurant 40 00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:31,315 for Idita-dogs... 41 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,408 Oh, and I hear there's an exhibit at the VFW 42 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,486 that will have you saying "VF double-woo." 43 00:01:36,655 --> 00:01:37,745 [giggles] 44 00:01:38,006 --> 00:01:40,099 Just a little joke there. Feel free to use that one 45 00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:41,433 with your mom, if it's not too racy. 46 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,845 And, uh, Wolf, you okay with Ruth coming to visit? 47 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,755 Oh, yep, yep, yep. Hella yes. I mean, yes. 48 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,425 There is a history of Ruth making me very nervous 49 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,336 and yes, that has led to some questionable behavior 50 00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:53,353 on my end. 51 00:01:53,505 --> 00:01:54,929 I mean, last time we went to Fresno, 52 00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:56,356 I did give her a noogie at church. 53 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,616 Ruined her favorite hat. 54 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,676 But I've been working on my calming breaths. 55 00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,769 Listen to how calm this sounds. 56 00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:03,513 [wheezing moan] 57 00:02:03,532 --> 00:02:06,366 Babe, I don't get why my mom spins you so much. 58 00:02:06,518 --> 00:02:08,201 Did your mom make you nervous, too? 59 00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:10,612 No, never. I could do whatever I wanted around her. 60 00:02:10,706 --> 00:02:12,447 Fart, burn off my eyebrows. 61 00:02:12,541 --> 00:02:14,374 And whenever she seemed down, I'd dump a yogurt on my head 62 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,135 and then dance around. Next thing you knew, 63 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:18,303 she was laughing and I had her attention again. 64 00:02:18,455 --> 00:02:20,622 We always had so much yogurt on our pillows. 65 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,382 Do you think you can keep it together around my mom 66 00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,292 -this time, hon? -Oh, absolutely. 67 00:02:24,370 --> 00:02:26,127 I'm gonna be normal as crap during this visit. 68 00:02:26,221 --> 00:02:29,130 I got this. I got this by the nips. 69 00:02:29,224 --> 00:02:30,816 [Moon] Huh, weird. 70 00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:32,300 My favorite vandalized 71 00:02:32,394 --> 00:02:32,985 The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe 72 00:02:33,136 --> 00:02:34,378 paperback is gone. 73 00:02:34,396 --> 00:02:36,155 The one where someone drew a ton of penises 74 00:02:36,306 --> 00:02:37,489 just spilling out of the wardrobe. 75 00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:39,383 Ugh, and so is the copy of Charlotte's Web 76 00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:40,826 where the picture of the web that's supposed to say 77 00:02:41,053 --> 00:02:43,220 "some pig" got changed to say "some butthole." 78 00:02:43,313 --> 00:02:45,222 Excuse me, Mrs. Rodenburg, 79 00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:46,814 what happened to all the old books? 80 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,650 Oh, you mean the vandalized books? 81 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,561 I replaced them with my husband's book Priest No More. 82 00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:54,489 It's about our love affair. I'm very religious. 83 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,416 He's the third priest I've married. 84 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,825 But what happened to the old books? 85 00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,736 And what happened to the old priests? 86 00:02:59,905 --> 00:03:01,405 The books are in the dumpster, 87 00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:04,349 and Fathers Francis and Peter are in heaven. 88 00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:07,911 Holy crap, it's the mother lode. 89 00:03:08,004 --> 00:03:10,096 Yep, this is definitely primo stuff, 90 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,506 drawn by some of the greats. 91 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,933 Like the guy who always drew Charlie Brown 92 00:03:13,085 --> 00:03:14,008 smoking a bong. 93 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,602 And the kid who signs their drawings 94 00:03:15,754 --> 00:03:18,012 with two boobs, or double-boob, as I like to call them. 95 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:19,272 Those are stone-cold classics. 96 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,440 What are you guys looking at? 97 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,942 The dirty books from the library. 98 00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:23,518 Mrs. Rodenburg threw them out. 99 00:03:23,595 --> 00:03:25,537 Ooh, do you have the Anne of Green Gables that has 100 00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,764 Anne's braids blowing in the wind of a fart? 101 00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:31,618 -I believe we do. -And you may buy it for five bucks. 102 00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:32,953 Deal. 103 00:03:33,105 --> 00:03:35,196 Guys, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 104 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:36,698 About how my mom's boyfriend Jamie 105 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,942 has a pair of jeans that he's going to give me 106 00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:40,201 when I turn 15? 107 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,795 Russell, no. I'm thinking we should open 108 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:42,963 a vandalized-book bookstore 109 00:03:43,115 --> 00:03:45,206 and sell these to our fellow students. 110 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,059 Yeah. Why shouldn't we offer this great product 111 00:03:47,286 --> 00:03:48,393 at reasonable prices? 112 00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:51,045 Or even better-- unreasonable prices. 113 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,714 My friends, let's get rich. 114 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,291 [Beef] Any sign of Honeybee 115 00:03:54,309 --> 00:03:56,293 -and Ruth yet? -Nope. [chuckles] Nope, nope, nope. 116 00:03:56,462 --> 00:03:58,553 -Try to breathe, son. -Oh, boy, here they come. 117 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,239 [stammers] A fun idea: should I hide 118 00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:01,573 behind the couch and pop out? 119 00:04:01,766 --> 00:04:04,484 Absolutely. Older ladies love jump scares. 120 00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:06,394 You promised Honeybee you'd get it together 121 00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:07,562 around her mom. 122 00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:10,231 So stand on your feet, arms at your side, 123 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,400 regular smile. Mm... 124 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,311 -It'll settle. -[Honeybee] Hey, everybody, 125 00:04:14,329 --> 00:04:15,754 look who I found at the airport. 126 00:04:15,981 --> 00:04:17,071 Hello, everyone. 127 00:04:17,165 --> 00:04:19,091 [all] Hello. 128 00:04:19,242 --> 00:04:21,334 Well, Wolf, why don't you come over here 129 00:04:21,487 --> 00:04:23,262 and give your mother-in-law a proper greeting? 130 00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:25,597 [clears throat] Oh, a proper greeting. 131 00:04:25,749 --> 00:04:30,060 Yeah, I know what that is. Okay, here I come. 132 00:04:31,163 --> 00:04:32,754 Yes. Oh, whoops. 133 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,089 Should I have given you a kiss on the cheek? Mwah. 134 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,424 -Oh... -Whoa! -Uh, oops. [laughs] 135 00:04:36,518 --> 00:04:38,259 I accidentally kissed you on the lips there. 136 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,503 I'll just, uh, try the other cheek. 137 00:04:39,596 --> 00:04:40,779 -No, no, no, no, no. Wolf, no. -[gasps] 138 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:42,355 [both cry out] 139 00:04:42,508 --> 00:04:44,190 [Moon] Not to say I told you so, 140 00:04:44,343 --> 00:04:47,327 but probably should have gone with the jump scare. 141 00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:52,682 Ham, the kitchen's all yours after school, 142 00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:54,367 so you and Judy can work on your dog cake. 143 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,320 And turns out the butcher's a big Toast fan, 144 00:04:57,322 --> 00:04:59,523 and he put aside a bunch of meat for free. 145 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,875 Honeybee, how's Wolf this morning? Feeling better? 146 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,284 Oh, so much better. 147 00:05:03,378 --> 00:05:05,971 I mean, who knew you could get sudden onset vertigo? 148 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:08,048 The doctor said that's why he couldn't position 149 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,308 his, uh, lips right. 150 00:05:09,535 --> 00:05:10,809 But he feels much better today. 151 00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:13,203 Wonderful. And is there a reason 152 00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:15,480 why he's watching us through the window? 153 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,558 Uh, yes, and I will tell you about it 154 00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,226 when I get back. Excuse me. 155 00:05:20,379 --> 00:05:21,486 Babe, what are you doing? 156 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:23,063 Oh, I'm eating breakfast with you guys, 157 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,564 just from out here. 158 00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:27,567 My Ruth-related anxiety is like a wild, psychotic rhino, 159 00:05:27,719 --> 00:05:30,329 so maybe the solution is to keep a healthy distance. 160 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,313 But I already told her you're coming with us today. 161 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,149 And I will, but I will also keep my distance 162 00:05:35,243 --> 00:05:36,335 as much as possible. 163 00:05:36,562 --> 00:05:39,229 Okay, I guess that's a pretty good plan. 164 00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:41,173 I'll just signal you when it's time to go. 165 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,508 Oh, oh, oh, and can you bring me some sausages 166 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:45,844 and apple juice and-and maybe a magazine? 167 00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:48,013 A book's fine, too, but no mysteries, please. 168 00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:50,140 I'd like to sleep tonight. 169 00:05:51,593 --> 00:05:53,352 -Here it is. -Wow. 170 00:05:53,503 --> 00:05:55,837 There's nothing I love more than a historical marker. 171 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,506 Except maybe curtains ruffled by a slight breeze. 172 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,266 Wolf, aren't you gonna come see it with us? 173 00:06:00,419 --> 00:06:03,587 I wish I could, but I am, uh, allergic to history, 174 00:06:03,605 --> 00:06:05,605 so my eyes might explode. 175 00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:07,515 So have fun, Mommybee. 176 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,608 [weak chuckle] 177 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:09,609 [Peppers] And that 178 00:06:09,761 --> 00:06:11,036 is Toast's first pee pad. 179 00:06:11,187 --> 00:06:13,096 Please, no flash photography. 180 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,373 Very interesting. 181 00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:15,540 Yeah, so cool! 182 00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,434 Wolf, please come over here and tell me 183 00:06:17,452 --> 00:06:20,604 -about the time you met Toast. -Uh, uh... 184 00:06:20,697 --> 00:06:21,938 What's that, Mrs. Tuntley? 185 00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:24,031 Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, give me a minute. 186 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,384 Who on earth are you talking to? 187 00:06:25,611 --> 00:06:27,535 Mrs. Tuntley. She needs my help. 188 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,113 That woman in that truck there? She's driving away. 189 00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:32,115 I know, so I better hurry. Heh. 190 00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:33,283 [sighs] I'm sorry, Mom. 191 00:06:33,452 --> 00:06:34,618 It's not your fault. Let's go pick him up 192 00:06:34,636 --> 00:06:35,802 and head to the mall. 193 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,120 -[horn honks] -Ooh, he almost got hit. 194 00:06:37,139 --> 00:06:38,471 Let's hurry. 195 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,548 What a delightful store. 196 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,641 I got some Idita-socks. 197 00:06:41,793 --> 00:06:42,976 They were buy one, get one free, 198 00:06:43,145 --> 00:06:45,386 but I told 'em I had no need for a second pair. 199 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,238 Great, great. 200 00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:47,480 I'm just gonna get in some laps 201 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,648 around the mall, actually. 202 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,316 See you in a bit. [laughs] 203 00:06:50,469 --> 00:06:51,943 [grunts] 204 00:06:52,095 --> 00:06:53,495 [train whistle blows] 205 00:06:54,156 --> 00:06:55,305 [Moon] Welcome to 206 00:06:55,307 --> 00:06:56,915 Butts and Noble. Ooh, great choice. 207 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:59,325 Somebody wrote the word "dildo 420" 208 00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:00,902 on page 69. 209 00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:02,495 I don't know exactly what that means, 210 00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:03,905 but I know it's funny. 211 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,166 Uh, ten dollars is kind of steep for me. 212 00:07:06,318 --> 00:07:07,426 Could I give you four? 213 00:07:07,653 --> 00:07:09,002 Um, yeah, I guess. 214 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,654 Uh, Gill, hi. Let me explain something. 215 00:07:10,672 --> 00:07:13,432 When pricing books, we take many things into consideration. 216 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,175 PPP-- penises per page. 217 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,084 BPP-- butts per page. 218 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,162 And also BPP-- boobs per page. 219 00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,422 Historical value, marijuana leaf work. 220 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,257 And let me assure you, this baby has it all. 221 00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,759 And it costs ten dollars. 222 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,446 [groans] Okay. I was saving up to give my mom a locket 223 00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:29,614 with my face in it, but she can see my face 224 00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:31,174 anytime she wants, I guess. 225 00:07:31,193 --> 00:07:34,344 Guys, we've made hundreds of dollars. 226 00:07:34,346 --> 00:07:36,680 And thousands of memories. 227 00:07:36,698 --> 00:07:38,698 ♪ ♪ 228 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:41,851 Frankie, my man. Geno, looking good. 229 00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:44,463 Petey, say hello to your mother for me, all right? 230 00:07:45,691 --> 00:07:46,798 Oh, thank you. 231 00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,967 I guess I will get some chips today. 232 00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:51,452 Did you guys see that? Miriam waved at me. 233 00:07:51,546 --> 00:07:53,379 She's never even looked at me before. 234 00:07:53,532 --> 00:07:55,790 Not even when I caught on fire in science class. 235 00:07:55,884 --> 00:07:57,458 Well, get ready to be a nobody again 236 00:07:57,585 --> 00:08:00,704 because this is all we have left to sell. 237 00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:02,706 Well, it was a hell of a ride. 238 00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:04,708 No way, Russell. Those three books aren't the end. 239 00:08:04,726 --> 00:08:06,376 They're just the beginning. 240 00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:09,303 But Henry, where are we gonna get more vandalized books? 241 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,323 Dirty doodles don't grow on trees. 242 00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,140 Simple. We use some of our profits 243 00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:14,551 to buy books from the thrift store 244 00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:16,219 and fill them with vulgar drawings. 245 00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,554 But none of us can draw well. 246 00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:20,223 I mean, look at this star I drew in math class. 247 00:08:20,225 --> 00:08:21,833 It doesn't matter that we can't draw, 248 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,835 because this person can. 249 00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:25,411 [Moon] Double-boob? The greatest artist 250 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,063 of our time? How do we find them 251 00:08:27,082 --> 00:08:28,155 when we don't know their real name? 252 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:29,841 Ah, but we know their initials. 253 00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,510 Look, when you turn the book this way, 254 00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:33,845 It's not two sets of boobs, it's... 255 00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:36,497 My God, it's two Bs. 256 00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:40,001 I believe I know the real name of our Vincent van Gonads. 257 00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:41,911 Hello, Bethany Bupatutti. 258 00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:44,171 The last person who used my full name 259 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,524 is still in the hospital. 260 00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:46,674 Because they're a nurse. 261 00:08:46,768 --> 00:08:49,027 I was interviewing her for careers week. 262 00:08:49,178 --> 00:08:50,420 Does this look familiar? 263 00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:52,680 [sighs] I knew this day would come. 264 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,199 How much to make this go away? 265 00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:55,592 We're not here to blackmail you. 266 00:08:55,685 --> 00:08:56,868 We're here to hire you. 267 00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:59,538 We need you to do more drawings for our dirty bookstore. 268 00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:00,705 I don't do that anymore. 269 00:09:00,932 --> 00:09:03,065 My parents found a picture of a penis I drew 270 00:09:03,118 --> 00:09:04,042 and freaked out. 271 00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:05,268 Said I was really talented 272 00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:06,878 and that I should pursue art. 273 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:08,362 So, naturally, I gave it up. 274 00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:11,365 Well, maybe this jar of Tommy Js will change your mind? 275 00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:14,110 Ugh. Just when I thought I was out, 276 00:09:14,129 --> 00:09:15,887 you guys pull me back in. 277 00:09:16,039 --> 00:09:17,055 [Ham] I hope Toast 278 00:09:17,282 --> 00:09:18,782 -likes it. -It looks incredible. 279 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:19,891 And am I crazy 280 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,893 or does it smell really, really good? 281 00:09:22,045 --> 00:09:23,377 I mean, it is all edible. 282 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:26,047 It's just almond flour, heavy cream, sugar, 283 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,548 liver, shrimp, coconut, 284 00:09:27,675 --> 00:09:29,884 two cow hearts, ground pork, baking soda, baking powder, 285 00:09:30,053 --> 00:09:32,462 pig lips, something called edible waste. 286 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,723 No one can ever know about this. 287 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,302 Maybe I should get my own table and, you know, let you guys 288 00:09:39,321 --> 00:09:40,912 do some mother/daughter bonding and stuff. 289 00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:43,973 Well, that's a kind offer, but why don't you just relax 290 00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:45,325 and scoot on in. 291 00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:47,327 I trust you aren't gonna accidentally kiss me again. 292 00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:50,146 And I want to spend time with my son-in-law. 293 00:09:50,239 --> 00:09:51,405 [weak chuckle] Cool. 294 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,650 For Iditarod, we give every table 295 00:09:53,668 --> 00:09:55,151 complimentary mush shakes. 296 00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:57,153 Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! 297 00:09:57,246 --> 00:09:59,598 Oh, thank you. I'll be sensible 298 00:09:59,825 --> 00:10:01,266 and save mine for after my meal. 299 00:10:01,493 --> 00:10:02,601 Great call, Ruth. 300 00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:05,011 Wolf, I think we know each other well enough now 301 00:10:05,163 --> 00:10:06,496 that you can just call me Mom. 302 00:10:06,514 --> 00:10:08,607 Oh, Mom! [short chuckle] Oh, wow, yeah. 303 00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:10,516 I mean, you just say it. You're just a guy, and there's 304 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,335 a mom and you're her son and you got to, 305 00:10:12,354 --> 00:10:14,337 uh, got to make her laugh! 306 00:10:14,339 --> 00:10:15,672 -Aah! -What in the world?! 307 00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:18,617 It makes way more sense with the dance, so... 308 00:10:18,768 --> 00:10:19,676 [vocalizing] 309 00:10:19,694 --> 00:10:21,453 -Wolf! -You know what, Honeybee? 310 00:10:21,604 --> 00:10:23,029 I think after we get out of here, 311 00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:26,791 I might check into a hotel and give Wolf a little space. 312 00:10:26,943 --> 00:10:28,201 Yeah, maybe that would be a good idea. 313 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,203 And, uh, I know it's usually a joke 314 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,297 when people say this, but check, please. 315 00:10:36,452 --> 00:10:38,119 Seems like I got all the milkshake out of my hair. 316 00:10:38,329 --> 00:10:39,696 Wolf, I love you, but I'm trying to have 317 00:10:39,714 --> 00:10:43,290 a nice visit with my mom and you're kind of ruining it. 318 00:10:43,385 --> 00:10:44,476 She came all the way here from Fresno 319 00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:46,536 and now she's not even staying with us. 320 00:10:46,554 --> 00:10:47,962 Again, I am so sorry about the whole 321 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,706 "dumping a full milkshake on my head" thing. 322 00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:52,542 Apparently, your mom and my mom have very different 323 00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:53,801 senses of humor. 324 00:10:53,895 --> 00:10:56,212 But maybe she'll look back at it someday and laugh. 325 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:58,698 And good laughs are so valuable in your later years, 326 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,325 especially as death approaches. 327 00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:02,143 Wolf, tomorrow, me and my mom are gonna have 328 00:11:02,237 --> 00:11:03,644 a family day with Jerry. 329 00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:04,996 And maybe that'll be a nice break for you. 330 00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:06,572 And also a nice break from you. 331 00:11:06,741 --> 00:11:08,166 Yep, I, uh, I get that. 332 00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:10,743 Look, Wolf, this weird anxiety about my mom 333 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,412 doesn't seem to be getting any better. 334 00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:16,082 So could you maybe talk to her so you can get past this? 335 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,251 'Cause it can't be like this every time 336 00:11:18,403 --> 00:11:20,570 she comes to visit for the rest of our lives. 337 00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:23,239 I'm so glad you said that, my Christopher Tense-Plasse, 338 00:11:23,299 --> 00:11:24,924 because when I was a-showerin', 339 00:11:25,076 --> 00:11:26,667 -I decided I am gonna talk to her. -Good. 340 00:11:26,761 --> 00:11:29,336 And I'm gonna do it in her favorite language: 341 00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:31,189 -country music. -What are you talking about? 342 00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:32,765 Well, you said that country music 343 00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,767 is the old dirt road to her heart. 344 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:35,694 I did not say that. 345 00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:36,920 Well, not in so many words, 346 00:11:37,013 --> 00:11:38,104 but I got the message. 347 00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:39,605 I'm gonna write your mom a country song 348 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,442 about how I feel and perform it at the Iditarod. 349 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:43,609 What? No! 350 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,595 Honeybee, you got to trust me on this one. 351 00:11:45,613 --> 00:11:47,855 Plus, I already arranged it with Mayor Peppers. 352 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:49,541 -When? -I called him from the shower. 353 00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:51,434 You know I bring my phone in in a Ziplock 354 00:11:51,453 --> 00:11:52,877 and roll calls while I loofa. 355 00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,771 It's all set. I'm gonna get up there, 356 00:11:54,789 --> 00:11:58,049 lasso her heart and tie it up like a baby calf. 357 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,533 Okay, you know what, I give up. 358 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,052 You already dumped a milkshake on your head 359 00:12:01,279 --> 00:12:02,612 and kissed my mother on the lips. 360 00:12:02,614 --> 00:12:04,130 If you think writing a song for her will somehow 361 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,873 get this weirdness out of your system, 362 00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:06,950 then, I guess, go ahead. 363 00:12:06,968 --> 00:12:08,417 All right! I love it 364 00:12:08,419 --> 00:12:09,894 when we're on the same page. 365 00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:11,378 Yee-haw! 366 00:12:11,456 --> 00:12:13,456 Okay, my songwriting committee, 367 00:12:13,475 --> 00:12:14,899 thanks for agreeing to help me out. 368 00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:17,310 Now, Ruth's favorite song is Iditarod Rod's 369 00:12:17,462 --> 00:12:18,886 "Night of A Thousand Dogs." 370 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,905 So I'm thinking what about a song called 371 00:12:21,132 --> 00:12:22,815 "The Night of A Hundred Dogs"? Thoughts? 372 00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:25,559 Ham, you're a singer in a band. Hit me with some advice. 373 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,412 Love your idea, but it might be a little... 374 00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,063 the same song. 375 00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:30,081 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 376 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,657 So I need a totally new idea? 377 00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:33,251 Maybe. As far as I can tell, 378 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:36,162 a lot of country songs are just a list of objects, like... 379 00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:37,997 ♪ A banana in the sink ♪ 380 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,407 ♪ Old toys in the yard ♪ 381 00:12:40,502 --> 00:12:42,594 ♪ Bunch of unpaid phone bills ♪ 382 00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:45,263 ♪ An anniversary card. ♪ 383 00:12:45,414 --> 00:12:47,098 Oh, okay, well, let me try. Uh... 384 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:50,101 ♪ Magazine by the window ♪ 385 00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:53,162 ♪ Uh, urine in my bed. ♪ 386 00:12:53,181 --> 00:12:54,606 Very... provocative. 387 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,682 Oh, and the songs have a lot of heartbreak. 388 00:12:56,835 --> 00:12:59,277 Oh, yeah. Uh, Dad, you've had a lot of bad luck 389 00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:01,187 in the romance department. Talk to me. 390 00:13:01,339 --> 00:13:03,356 Well, as you know, I dealt with my heartbreak 391 00:13:03,508 --> 00:13:06,284 by locking myself in my room and smelling a cushion 392 00:13:06,435 --> 00:13:07,860 your mother often sat on. 393 00:13:08,013 --> 00:13:10,847 But I think in country songs, the protagonist usually just 394 00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,698 drinks whiskey and occasionally shoots a friend. 395 00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:15,184 And you know what, it's important to dress the part. 396 00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:17,629 It wasn't until I donned the blue overalls 397 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,038 that I really found my character 398 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,799 in the school production of Minions in Space. 399 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,692 I knew you geniuses could help me. 400 00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:25,528 Gonna head to the guest house with a little sippin' whiskey, 401 00:13:25,547 --> 00:13:26,954 channel Iditarod Rod 402 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,548 and write the best country song 403 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,216 since "Pardon My Fartin'." 404 00:13:30,368 --> 00:13:31,384 [Judy] Well, it looks great, 405 00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:32,477 and the best part is 406 00:13:32,704 --> 00:13:35,054 there's so much gross stuff in this one 407 00:13:35,206 --> 00:13:36,297 we literally cannot eat it. 408 00:13:36,374 --> 00:13:38,391 Yep. White flour, chicken anus, 409 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,968 something called "poor man's eels," 410 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,987 goat cheeks, ground cow eyes. 411 00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:44,638 Don't look at me! 412 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,141 -Don't look at me! -Nobody look at anyone! 413 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,551 Hello, Quinn. 414 00:13:48,570 --> 00:13:50,403 Anyone in particular you're shopping for today? 415 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,479 Actually, I was leafing through this book, 416 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,091 and a Stüssy "S" doing a keg stand 417 00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:56,392 smeared off on my hand. 418 00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:58,503 And why did our library have a book called 419 00:13:58,654 --> 00:13:59,671 Growing Old Gracefully? 420 00:13:59,822 --> 00:14:01,172 Because you can never be too prepared. 421 00:14:01,324 --> 00:14:02,582 Ten dollars, please. 422 00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,567 Well, good luck finding anything better. 423 00:14:04,569 --> 00:14:06,569 We're the only game in town, sister. 424 00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:09,347 Henry, I don't think we should talk to the customers like that. 425 00:14:09,574 --> 00:14:11,999 My hand is getting tired. I'm done for the day. 426 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,167 Bethany, you want to make the big bucks, 427 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,577 you got to play ball. 428 00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:17,096 And by that I mean you got to draw testicles. 429 00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:18,264 Put 'em on anything you want. 430 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,433 A spaceship, a nun, Count Chocula. 431 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,010 I'm not a machine. You can't force art or whatever. 432 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,697 Look at these penises. They have no joy in them. 433 00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:27,256 What are you even talking about?! 434 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:30,109 She's right. They're workaday penises at best. 435 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,261 [sighs] I-I don't think it's right 436 00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:33,872 taking allowance money for these. 437 00:14:34,023 --> 00:14:35,281 Oh, can it, Moon. 438 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,857 These kids will buy whatever we tell them to buy. 439 00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:38,434 And, Bethany, I see what game you're playing. 440 00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:40,119 We'll give you more money, okay? 441 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,438 Hello, everyone. I was just thinking about 442 00:14:42,457 --> 00:14:45,216 how magical it is to have a fun project like this 443 00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:47,368 with my very best friends. 444 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,220 Russell, you're fired. Your cut's going to Bethany now. 445 00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:51,948 But I just ordered my mom's boyfriend Jamie 446 00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:53,299 a jerky tasting crate. 447 00:14:53,451 --> 00:14:55,451 Henry, you can't just fire Russell. 448 00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:57,378 Oh, can't I? Well, you're out, too! 449 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,879 Anybody else got something to say? 450 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:01,382 Yes. I love this kind of chaotic energy, 451 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,793 and may I add to it by saying I quit. 452 00:15:03,886 --> 00:15:05,628 Come on, let's get out of here, guys. 453 00:15:05,647 --> 00:15:07,721 Fine, see if I care. I don't need any of you. 454 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,982 You'll see. I can do it myself. 455 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,301 I'm gonna trace butt cheeks all the way to the bank. 456 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,470 I'm an empire of one. 457 00:15:14,489 --> 00:15:16,080 An empire of one! [sobbing] 458 00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:18,141 He flew too close to the ass 459 00:15:18,309 --> 00:15:19,976 and it swallowed him whole. 460 00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,920 [Ruth] Well, it was a wonderful day. 461 00:15:22,147 --> 00:15:24,071 We met a man whose cousin's brother-in-law 462 00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:26,925 dated a champion sled racer's daughter in the '90s. 463 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,501 I hope you got an autograph. 464 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:29,835 Well, howdy, y'all. 465 00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:31,320 Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 466 00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:34,006 Oh, hello, Jerry, you old cowpoke. 467 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,767 You old, uh, plate of soup. 468 00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:37,418 Uh, what is this? 469 00:15:37,512 --> 00:15:40,680 Now, y'all might have heard 'round the saloons 470 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,590 that I was working on a right fine country song 471 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,758 for my mother-in-law. 472 00:15:44,852 --> 00:15:46,502 -You were? -Sweetie, maybe you 473 00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:48,279 need to take your vertigo pill and lay down. 474 00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:51,190 Nonsense. I'm not verti-goin' nowhere, 475 00:15:51,342 --> 00:15:52,617 little lady. [laughs] 476 00:15:52,768 --> 00:15:55,620 Why, I feel as sturdy as a spittoon full of orange juice. 477 00:15:55,697 --> 00:15:59,015 You see, I was fixin' to sing the song tomorrow 478 00:15:59,108 --> 00:16:02,126 at the Iditarod, but the song is so dang good 479 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,610 it just couldn't wait. 480 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,613 So I galloped on over here to fill your ear troughs 481 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,191 with my water music. 482 00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:09,467 Two, four, three. 483 00:16:09,694 --> 00:16:11,618 ♪ I'm just a boot-lickin' bad boy ♪ 484 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,030 ♪ And I can't lick my lickin' ways ♪ 485 00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,974 ♪ And when I hear that train a-blowin' ♪ 486 00:16:16,201 --> 00:16:18,959 ♪ Oh, I lick my blues away, lemme lick ya now! ♪ 487 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,127 [grunts] 488 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,871 -[all gasp] -He's nude. 489 00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:24,631 Mom, I think we ought to get back to your hotel right now. 490 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,167 -Uh, yep. Yep. -[grunts] 491 00:16:26,227 --> 00:16:28,319 Well, well, well, seems my guitar 492 00:16:28,546 --> 00:16:30,521 is playing where the sun don't shine. 493 00:16:30,673 --> 00:16:32,973 [chuckles] I'm fine. Thank you kindly. 494 00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:35,493 Now I'm gonna take a quick five and... [grunts] 495 00:16:35,644 --> 00:16:37,236 -[all gasp] -Oh, boy. 496 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,498 -♪ I'm just a boot-lickin' bad boy. ♪ -Jerry, no. 497 00:16:44,579 --> 00:16:45,986 -Ow! Ow! -[sighs] 498 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,913 Oh, Honeybee, could you give me and Wolf a second alone? 499 00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:50,249 Mom, you do not have to do this. 500 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,992 Thank you for picking the guitar shards 501 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,569 out of my butt, Mother Ruth. 502 00:16:53,588 --> 00:16:55,254 Wolf, I got to ask. Why have you been acting 503 00:16:55,331 --> 00:16:56,514 so strangely around me? 504 00:16:56,741 --> 00:16:58,349 [sighs] I don't know, exactly. 505 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,092 But ever since I married Honeybee, 506 00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:01,744 I get really nervous around you, 507 00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:03,429 and then I do something very weird. 508 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,023 And I don't know why it's just you. 509 00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,582 I mean, I'm fine around Louis. 510 00:17:06,601 --> 00:17:09,935 Well, I got to wonder if maybe you're fine around Louis 511 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,271 because you have a normal dad, 512 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,198 so you know how to act around a dad. 513 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,758 But you've never had a... 514 00:17:15,777 --> 00:17:17,426 -Motorcycle? -[laughs] 515 00:17:17,445 --> 00:17:19,537 I was gonna say a normal mom. 516 00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:22,206 -Yeah, I've never had that or a motorcycle. -Sure. 517 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:24,600 Look, Wolf, from what I understand, 518 00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:25,785 your mom was a bit wild. 519 00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:28,379 And I'm willing to bet she never set boundaries with you. 520 00:17:28,531 --> 00:17:30,289 Well, I mean, I wasn't allowed to drink her vodka, 521 00:17:30,441 --> 00:17:32,050 but otherwise, anything I did was fine. 522 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:35,111 Actually, the crazier I acted, the more she seemed to like me. 523 00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:37,280 -Uh-huh. -Oh, so... 524 00:17:37,282 --> 00:17:38,539 Yeah, okay, I think I get it now. 525 00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:41,467 Mm-hmm, you know, while I'm not judging Kathleen, 526 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,377 I doubt we would have gotten along too well. 527 00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:46,380 But she's not here anymore, and I am. 528 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,808 So I guess I'm kind of your mother figure now. 529 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,051 -And I do have boundaries. -Ow! Ow! Ow! 530 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:54,297 Oh, sorry. And, Wolf, boundaries are a lot like curtains. 531 00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:56,966 Sometimes they're open, sometimes they're closed, 532 00:17:56,984 --> 00:17:59,393 but in my opinion, they're always good to have. 533 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,062 You don't have to act crazy to get my attention. 534 00:18:02,156 --> 00:18:03,489 You already have it. 535 00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:05,491 You make my daughter happy, and that makes me happy. 536 00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:08,419 And believe it or not, you already have my approval. 537 00:18:08,646 --> 00:18:10,479 So you don't have to dump a milkshake on your head 538 00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:11,738 to get it. 539 00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:13,332 Yeah, it would've made more sense with the dance, 540 00:18:13,484 --> 00:18:15,409 -but I-I see what you're saying. -Good. 541 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,337 Now, why don't you put on some underpants, have a rest, 542 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,098 and then write me a better country song 543 00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:21,582 for the Iditarod tomorrow? 544 00:18:21,676 --> 00:18:23,417 Wait, you want me to sing you a country song? 545 00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:27,012 Of course. Country music is the dirt road to my heart. 546 00:18:27,165 --> 00:18:28,347 [gasps] I knew it. 547 00:18:28,516 --> 00:18:30,833 [Ham] Well, we did it. We got the cake here. 548 00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,259 And no reason why we shouldn't. 549 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,170 I don't even want to know what's in this one. 550 00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:35,762 [all] Good. 551 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,431 Okay, I hear that Toast and his team 552 00:18:37,525 --> 00:18:38,765 are just a few miles away. 553 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,101 But while we wait, Wolf Tobin is going to sing 554 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,697 a country song he wrote for his visiting mother-in-law. 555 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,457 -Oh, hell yeah! -Howdy, partners. 556 00:18:46,684 --> 00:18:49,702 Uh, I wrote this song for a-a very special lady. 557 00:18:49,778 --> 00:18:50,795 Not my special lady, 558 00:18:51,022 --> 00:18:52,964 but the special lady that my special lady 559 00:18:53,115 --> 00:18:55,133 came out of. Anyway, I hope you like it. 560 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:58,043 ♪ Dishes in the sink ♪ 561 00:18:58,196 --> 00:19:00,196 ♪ Sunlight on the rug ♪ 562 00:19:00,214 --> 00:19:02,789 ♪ She gave me vodka kisses ♪ 563 00:19:02,884 --> 00:19:05,509 ♪ And cigarette hugs ♪ 564 00:19:05,662 --> 00:19:07,720 ♪ Beer cans in my crib ♪ 565 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,314 ♪ Old bra on the table ♪ 566 00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:12,725 ♪ But I guess my mama did ♪ 567 00:19:12,877 --> 00:19:15,227 ♪ The best that she was able ♪ 568 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,304 ♪ But now I got a new gal ♪ 569 00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:20,324 ♪ Goes by the name of Ruth ♪ 570 00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:22,735 ♪ Pullin' splinters out of my ass ♪ 571 00:19:22,811 --> 00:19:24,662 ♪ And shovin' in the truth ♪ 572 00:19:24,889 --> 00:19:27,314 ♪ My windows were so bare ♪ 573 00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:29,667 ♪ Until she put up curtains ♪ 574 00:19:29,894 --> 00:19:31,894 ♪ My ass is slowly healin' ♪ 575 00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:34,413 ♪ And my heart's no longer hurtin' ♪ 576 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,731 Aw, that's nice. 577 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,675 ♪ 'Cause she's a boot-lickin' bad girl ♪ 578 00:19:37,902 --> 00:19:40,178 ♪ Can't lick her lickin' ways, let me lick you now ♪ 579 00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:42,680 ♪ ♪ 580 00:19:42,907 --> 00:19:43,906 Come on, Ruth, get up here. 581 00:19:43,999 --> 00:19:46,409 Ruth Shaw, the best dang mom-in-law. 582 00:19:46,502 --> 00:19:48,744 -[Ruth singing along] -♪ And when she hears that train a-blowin ♪ 583 00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:53,933 ♪ Oh, she just licks her blues away. ♪ 584 00:19:54,085 --> 00:19:55,601 -Yee-haw! -[applause] 585 00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:57,920 Here they come, Toast and his team. 586 00:19:57,939 --> 00:20:00,531 -[dogs barking] -[crowd chanting] Toast! Toast! Toast! Toast! 587 00:20:00,683 --> 00:20:02,942 Just remember, when I open the cake container, 588 00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:04,851 hold your breath and look away. 589 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,687 Okay, Ham, open her up. 590 00:20:06,781 --> 00:20:09,207 -That's my cake! [grunting] -Dad, come back here! 591 00:20:09,434 --> 00:20:10,857 -Share. -Save some for me. 592 00:20:11,026 --> 00:20:12,376 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 593 00:20:12,528 --> 00:20:14,003 [screams] 594 00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,381 [screams] 595 00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:20,960 [gasps] Bitten again by greatness. 596 00:20:21,112 --> 00:20:22,461 What a privilege. 597 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,056 Well, on the plus side, looks like Lone Moose is getting 598 00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:26,540 another historical marker. 599 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,301 I can't wait to see it on my next visit. 600 00:20:29,454 --> 00:20:32,137 ♪ 'Twas the night of a thousand dogs ♪ 601 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,714 ♪ Running through the land, through the snow ♪ 602 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,291 ♪ Through the ice and fog ♪ 603 00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:36,642 ♪ Standing haunch to haunch ♪ 604 00:20:36,794 --> 00:20:38,051 ♪ And braving the terrain ♪ 605 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,570 ♪ Every year we look to the sky ♪ 606 00:20:39,797 --> 00:20:41,239 ♪ And remember their names ♪ 607 00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:43,966 ♪ There was Chuckles, Poncho, Biter, Old Snuff ♪ 608 00:20:43,985 --> 00:20:46,302 ♪ Pukey, Sully, and John McGruff ♪ 609 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,804 ♪ Paco, Pancake, Waffles, Sir Sniffs-His-Butt ♪ 610 00:20:48,823 --> 00:20:50,731 ♪ Chunky, Dangler, Tweaky, Butter, and Gary the Mutt ♪ 611 00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:54,085 ♪ It was the night of a thousand dogs, hyah! ♪ 612 00:20:54,312 --> 00:20:57,146 ♪ Running through the land, through the snow ♪ 613 00:20:57,164 --> 00:20:59,498 ♪ Through the ice and fog ♪ 614 00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:01,425 ♪ Hyah! ♪ 615 00:21:01,577 --> 00:21:03,002 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 616 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,971 and TOYOTA.