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00:00:01,565 --> 00:00:04,750
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:06,010
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:06,237 --> 00:00:07,827
-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
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00:00:07,921 --> 00:00:10,239
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
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♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
6
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♪ Catch some fish ♪
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♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
8
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♪ Wow ♪
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♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,268 --> 00:00:22,842
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
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♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
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♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
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♪ In the Great North. ♪
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[cheering]
15
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Ham, I love that you made
my pancake into a little face,
16
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:39,359
but I regret to inform you
17
00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:42,028
that now I simply
cannot eat Gerard.
18
00:00:42,048 --> 00:00:43,605
Gonna have a tough life
in Alaska
19
00:00:43,698 --> 00:00:45,382
if you can't bring yourself
to eat a friend, doll.
20
00:00:45,534 --> 00:00:48,385
Hmm. Okay, how about a piece
of my practice flan instead?
21
00:00:48,462 --> 00:00:51,947
Dad ate most of them yesterday,
but there's a few left.
22
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,949
Figures. For centuries,
men have been eating
23
00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:55,634
more than their fair share
of the flan.
24
00:00:55,786 --> 00:00:57,119
Preach. Pigs.
25
00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:58,787
(whoops) My brother's
gonna be a celebrity
26
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,124
for making the flan for a real,
professional restaurant.
27
00:01:02,217 --> 00:01:03,959
You must feel like
the non-famous Hemsworth
28
00:01:03,977 --> 00:01:05,569
-right about now, huh?
-Yep.
29
00:01:05,679 --> 00:01:07,237
Invisible but proud.
30
00:01:07,389 --> 00:01:08,739
Which menu will your flan be on?
31
00:01:08,966 --> 00:01:10,557
Regular, kids or seniors?
32
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-All three, baby.
-[Judy] Ooh-la-la.
33
00:01:12,303 --> 00:01:14,152
Holy hot dogs, Ham.
34
00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:15,579
Hey, where's Dad?
35
00:01:15,806 --> 00:01:17,748
He usually only takes a
three-and-a-half-minute shower,
36
00:01:17,899 --> 00:01:20,066
but he's been in there
14 minutes now.
37
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Hmm. I mean, he's probably
just way in the zone.
38
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Getting all those papa nooks
and dad crannies.
39
00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:26,164
Wolf, how many times
do I have to ask you
40
00:01:26,317 --> 00:01:27,499
not to say "dad crannies"?
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00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:28,984
Many more, probably.
42
00:01:29,153 --> 00:01:29,985
[Beef] Gah!
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00:01:30,154 --> 00:01:31,077
Was that Dad?
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[Beef wails]
45
00:01:32,581 --> 00:01:34,289
Dad, you okay in there?
46
00:01:34,341 --> 00:01:36,600
Perfect. [groaning loudly]
47
00:01:36,751 --> 00:01:38,084
Oh. Uh...
[chuckles] Whoops.
48
00:01:38,178 --> 00:01:39,103
Closing the door.
49
00:01:39,254 --> 00:01:40,604
Uh, but, Dad... [stammers]
50
00:01:40,755 --> 00:01:41,605
sounds like you're in pain?
51
00:01:41,756 --> 00:01:42,755
I am fine, son.
52
00:01:42,775 --> 00:01:43,774
[groans]
53
00:01:44,092 --> 00:01:46,668
Just having a little pain
in my midsection.
54
00:01:46,761 --> 00:01:48,445
And chest. And back.
55
00:01:48,597 --> 00:01:49,947
-Chest?
-And back.
56
00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,840
Probably just pulled
some muscles.
57
00:01:51,859 --> 00:01:52,932
You want me to, uh...
[stammers]
58
00:01:52,952 --> 00:01:54,509
come in and get your towel
for you?
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00:01:54,603 --> 00:01:57,454
No, thank you, son.
I shall use nature's towel--
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00:01:57,681 --> 00:01:58,771
standing here.
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00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:00,457
-[groaning]
-[Ham] Hey, Dad.
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00:02:00,609 --> 00:02:02,442
-You doing okay?
-Do not worry, Ham.
63
00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:04,795
Just pulled a few muscles
in the shower.
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00:02:04,964 --> 00:02:08,357
-Makes perfect sense, but may
I also suggest you see a doctor?
-[groaning]
65
00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:11,784
Nonsense. I'll go see
the magical glacial water pipe
66
00:02:11,804 --> 00:02:14,379
in Death Cliff today
and drink its healing waters.
67
00:02:14,531 --> 00:02:17,290
-[groaning]
-Mother Pipe? Dad,
that's a very cool legend,
68
00:02:17,368 --> 00:02:20,978
but maybe we see a real doctor
instead of a leaky metal tube.
69
00:02:21,129 --> 00:02:21,870
No, thank you.
70
00:02:21,889 --> 00:02:22,813
Now, if you'll excuse me,
71
00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:25,298
I better get ready
for my journey.
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00:02:25,317 --> 00:02:26,375
[groans]
73
00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,543
[strained]
Mmm, that's good.
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00:02:28,637 --> 00:02:30,487
-Oop.
-[all exclaim]
-[Ham] Dad butt!
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00:02:30,714 --> 00:02:32,214
Good thinking, towel.
76
00:02:32,307 --> 00:02:34,216
I am perfectly dry.
77
00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:35,492
[groaning]
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00:02:35,644 --> 00:02:37,661
Huh. So the crooked butt crack
runs in the family.
79
00:02:37,888 --> 00:02:40,572
-Oh, yeah.
-Uh-huh.
-My poops come out in a curlicue
80
00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:42,166
like soft-serve ice cream.
81
00:02:42,393 --> 00:02:43,667
[Honeybee]
Well, it was great
to see you, veronica.
82
00:02:43,894 --> 00:02:46,061
We can't let two years
go by again.
83
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:47,913
I was relieved
when you reached out to me.
84
00:02:48,065 --> 00:02:50,156
Funny story--
I thought you were dead.
85
00:02:50,176 --> 00:02:51,508
-Really?
-Uh, yeah.
86
00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:53,402
Everyone in Fresno said
you followed some guy
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00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,070
into the wilderness.
[chuckles]
88
00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:56,829
I've seen Dateline, Honeybee.
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00:02:56,998 --> 00:02:58,240
I know how those stories end.
90
00:02:58,258 --> 00:02:59,999
Uh, I didn't just follow a guy.
91
00:03:00,019 --> 00:03:01,334
I fell in love.
92
00:03:01,428 --> 00:03:03,353
Is someone
making you say that right now?
93
00:03:03,505 --> 00:03:05,505
-Blink three times if yes.
-[chuckles]
94
00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:07,265
-I just got married
and moved away.
-Okay,
95
00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:11,344
it's just... If anything,
a guy should be following you.
96
00:03:11,513 --> 00:03:12,921
Oh, crap, I got to go.
97
00:03:13,014 --> 00:03:15,181
My neighbor's kid is looking
through my window again.
98
00:03:15,201 --> 00:03:16,650
Get out of here, Hans!
99
00:03:16,702 --> 00:03:19,778
Bye, Honeybee.
Don't lose yourself up there.
100
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:20,779
Whatever, Veronica.
101
00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,039
I didn't follow a guy.
102
00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:24,282
I'm a leader.
In fact, I'm gonna lead myself
103
00:03:24,435 --> 00:03:25,784
on a walk around the property.
104
00:03:25,878 --> 00:03:27,269
And because I want to,
not because it's one
105
00:03:27,362 --> 00:03:30,214
of the only things you can do
around this place.
106
00:03:30,441 --> 00:03:31,715
[groans]
107
00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,217
Okay.
108
00:03:33,368 --> 00:03:34,033
Oh...
109
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There she is, Mother Pipe.
110
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Alaska's doctor.
111
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Sweet mountain nectar.
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[groaning]
113
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Ah.
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Thank you, dear Mother.
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I have suckled
and been made whole.
116
00:03:49,126 --> 00:03:50,067
[yells]
117
00:03:50,218 --> 00:03:52,069
[grunts, groaning]
118
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Better go have one more sip
119
00:03:53,981 --> 00:03:55,906
to heal these fresh wounds.
120
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[grunting]
121
00:03:59,394 --> 00:04:01,486
I mean, who does
Veronica think she is?
122
00:04:01,638 --> 00:04:03,247
So what if I moved up here
for a guy?
123
00:04:03,474 --> 00:04:04,806
What, I should have
stayed in Fresno,
124
00:04:04,825 --> 00:04:05,974
working at the curtain store?
125
00:04:05,993 --> 00:04:07,584
My dad playing Steely Dan
all day?
126
00:04:07,736 --> 00:04:09,586
Ooh. What in the...
127
00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:11,070
"Wife"?
128
00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:12,739
That's all they put
on this lady's grave?
129
00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:13,982
No name?
130
00:04:14,075 --> 00:04:15,500
Well, maybe there's something
on the back.
131
00:04:15,594 --> 00:04:16,743
Mm, nope.
132
00:04:16,837 --> 00:04:17,819
You poor girl.
133
00:04:17,912 --> 00:04:19,263
You got to be more
than just "Wife."
134
00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:20,672
I got to get
to the bottom of this.
135
00:04:20,824 --> 00:04:22,991
All right, Wife,
you wait right here, which...
136
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,659
you have to, 'cause you're dead.
137
00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:26,270
Uh, I-I'll be right back.
138
00:04:26,379 --> 00:04:29,014
[Dirt]
Thanks for taking me
by the grocery store.
139
00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:32,000
I still can't believe you
can buy a fully cooked chicken
140
00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:33,351
every single day.
141
00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:35,020
Mmm. Good.
142
00:04:35,114 --> 00:04:37,597
And they did not skimp
on the bones.
143
00:04:37,616 --> 00:04:39,007
Oh, hey, kids.
144
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,433
Your dad went to suck
on that drainage pipe
145
00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:43,036
or whatever it is,
so he sent us to get you.
146
00:04:44,439 --> 00:04:47,106
So, guys, have you seen
this grave out in the woods
147
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,683
-that's just labeled "Wife"?
-Yep.
148
00:04:48,702 --> 00:04:51,520
I have that grave marked
on my cemetery map of Lone Moose
149
00:04:51,538 --> 00:04:53,371
for when the zombie apocalypse
starts.
150
00:04:53,524 --> 00:04:55,524
Hell if Wife is gonna
eat my brain.
151
00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:56,783
Well, she's eating my brain
already,
152
00:04:56,951 --> 00:04:58,117
'cause she's
all I can think about.
153
00:04:58,137 --> 00:05:00,137
That poor woman
is just lying out there
154
00:05:00,288 --> 00:05:01,546
in a hole marked "Wife."
155
00:05:01,698 --> 00:05:02,881
Not even a name.
156
00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:04,382
I've seen that grave,
like, a million times
157
00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:06,643
and just kind of shrugged it off
as vintage sexism,
158
00:05:06,795 --> 00:05:09,295
but, yeah, no one deserves
to just be thrown in a hole
159
00:05:09,315 --> 00:05:11,206
and labeled with the W-word.
160
00:05:11,299 --> 00:05:13,483
Unless the W-word is "Wassup."
161
00:05:13,635 --> 00:05:15,560
Can you even imagine that
on a grave?
162
00:05:15,712 --> 00:05:17,379
I think I'm gonna
do a little research
163
00:05:17,472 --> 00:05:18,805
and find out who this woman was.
164
00:05:18,824 --> 00:05:20,549
Maybe I can share her
accomplishments with the world.
165
00:05:20,642 --> 00:05:22,734
-Oh, I'm in.
-Let's dig up her secrets.
166
00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:24,903
And maybe her jewelry.
167
00:05:24,997 --> 00:05:26,847
[Beef groaning]
168
00:05:26,849 --> 00:05:28,056
Ow.
169
00:05:28,149 --> 00:05:29,148
Hey, Dad.
170
00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:31,150
That's a pretty fun noise
you're making.
171
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:34,338
Mm, you aren't by any chance
still in pain, are you, Father?
172
00:05:34,489 --> 00:05:36,489
Mm, nope.
I suckled the pipe,
173
00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:40,677
and her nectars are at this
very moment coating my insides
174
00:05:40,829 --> 00:05:42,161
in a thick layer of health.
175
00:05:42,239 --> 00:05:44,997
Good, 'cause my flan reveal
is at lunch tomorrow,
176
00:05:45,092 --> 00:05:47,351
and I need you
at full eating strength.
177
00:05:47,578 --> 00:05:49,186
Oh, hey.
Slippity Dips is starting.
178
00:05:49,337 --> 00:05:50,670
In our first slippity clip,
179
00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:52,931
a mailman named Floyd makes a...
180
00:05:53,025 --> 00:05:54,749
-Floyd-ian slip.
-[yells]
-[laughing]
181
00:05:54,768 --> 00:05:56,693
[laughs, groaning]
182
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,921
-Oh... uh, Dad?
-Dad, we really should get you
to the doctor.
183
00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:01,031
Like, now.
184
00:06:01,182 --> 00:06:02,181
[strained] Nonsense.
185
00:06:02,201 --> 00:06:03,258
In this next slip,
186
00:06:03,351 --> 00:06:05,369
a child falls in a ravine.
187
00:06:05,596 --> 00:06:06,611
In a funny way.
188
00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:08,146
[laughs]
Ow!
189
00:06:08,298 --> 00:06:10,165
[strained laughing]
190
00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:14,436
Guys, I'm hella worried
about Dad.
191
00:06:14,454 --> 00:06:15,528
I googled his symptoms,
192
00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,439
and it could be anything
from muscle spasm
193
00:06:17,532 --> 00:06:20,384
to a heart attack to something
called "haunted pancreas."
194
00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:22,277
I'm worried, too,
but it's impossible
195
00:06:22,295 --> 00:06:23,720
to get that man to a doctor.
196
00:06:23,872 --> 00:06:26,114
Remember when one of his feet
faced the wrong way
197
00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:27,115
for, like, a year?
198
00:06:27,134 --> 00:06:28,541
Of course.
I had to tie the boot
199
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,376
on the backwards one
every morning.
200
00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:32,137
But this isn't gonna
be like that,
201
00:06:32,289 --> 00:06:33,546
because I have a plan.
202
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,957
It's not just giving him
compliments, is it?
203
00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:37,717
Yeah, there'll be
a little of that, sure.
204
00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:38,960
But here's what we do:
205
00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:41,554
we give him
the doctor exam sneaky-style,
206
00:06:41,648 --> 00:06:42,572
right here at home.
207
00:06:42,649 --> 00:06:44,557
Fun.
Dibs on nodding reassuringly
208
00:06:44,635 --> 00:06:46,301
while listening
through a stethoscope.
209
00:06:46,394 --> 00:06:49,228
Okay, Operation HPV is a go--
210
00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,581
Heal Papa Victoriously.
211
00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:53,642
Love the plan, hate the name.
212
00:06:53,776 --> 00:06:54,976
All right, hands in.
213
00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:56,253
H-P...
214
00:06:56,404 --> 00:06:58,070
Oh, it's just gonna be me?
215
00:06:58,090 --> 00:06:59,339
Fine. V!
216
00:07:02,819 --> 00:07:05,503
Okay, here he comes.
Time to get into our dad's body.
217
00:07:05,656 --> 00:07:07,264
Oh, my God.
It's like you've never heard
218
00:07:07,491 --> 00:07:08,765
-a word you've said.
-[door closes]
219
00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:11,009
[strained]
Mm, mm, mm-hmm.
220
00:07:11,103 --> 00:07:12,460
Mm.
[grunting]
221
00:07:12,462 --> 00:07:14,012
Oh. Hello, Father.
222
00:07:14,106 --> 00:07:15,513
How was work this morning?
223
00:07:15,607 --> 00:07:16,681
Good haul?
224
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:18,591
-Kill a lot of fish?
-Mm-hmm.
225
00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:19,834
Cool, cool.
226
00:07:19,928 --> 00:07:22,112
And, uh, brisk wind
out on the sea?
227
00:07:22,339 --> 00:07:23,947
Any difficulty breathing?
228
00:07:24,098 --> 00:07:25,173
The breathing was...
229
00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:26,858
[wheezes]
great.
230
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:28,009
Oh, Dad, uh,
231
00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:29,678
just, uh, wondering,
232
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:30,862
when you hauled the fish in,
233
00:07:31,031 --> 00:07:33,181
which of these faces
did you feel like?
234
00:07:33,274 --> 00:07:35,441
None. Those guys
are all hotter than me.
235
00:07:35,461 --> 00:07:36,518
Uh, okay...
236
00:07:36,611 --> 00:07:37,519
[Moon groans]
237
00:07:37,537 --> 00:07:39,204
Guys, I've got a big problem.
238
00:07:39,356 --> 00:07:40,947
I have a project
for science class,
239
00:07:40,966 --> 00:07:43,208
and the topic
is older men's urine.
240
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,876
I remember that unit.
241
00:07:45,028 --> 00:07:47,620
But I forgot to collect
an older man's pee.
242
00:07:47,714 --> 00:07:48,863
Damn it.
[groans]
243
00:07:48,957 --> 00:07:50,456
Guess I'll just fail.
244
00:07:50,476 --> 00:07:51,366
That sucks.
245
00:07:51,459 --> 00:07:52,809
Unless...
246
00:07:53,036 --> 00:07:56,128
Dad, could you pee in this cup
and then write your name on it?
247
00:07:56,148 --> 00:07:58,482
And then seal it?
And then write today's date?
248
00:07:58,709 --> 00:07:59,799
And then give it back to me?
249
00:07:59,876 --> 00:08:01,376
I'll surely get an A.
250
00:08:01,469 --> 00:08:04,045
Yeah, with Dad's pee
in your pocket, you can't lose.
251
00:08:04,214 --> 00:08:06,973
Gentlemen, I was not
birthed yesterday.
252
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:09,400
I see that you three
are trying to give me
253
00:08:09,495 --> 00:08:12,387
some kind
of at-home doctor's exam.
254
00:08:12,389 --> 00:08:15,724
Geez, Dad, all we asked for
was a little bit of pee
255
00:08:15,742 --> 00:08:17,650
and suddenly we lose all trust?
256
00:08:17,744 --> 00:08:18,910
Son, cut it out.
257
00:08:19,004 --> 00:08:20,895
My body is private,
even to myself.
258
00:08:20,989 --> 00:08:24,249
That's why there's a curtain
around it called "my skin."
259
00:08:24,401 --> 00:08:26,584
-But, Dad, you really should--
-Put your "but, Dad"
260
00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:27,902
in your butt, son.
261
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:29,587
Can no one hear themselves?
262
00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:31,848
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to head back
263
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,758
to Mother Pipe for another sip.
264
00:08:33,910 --> 00:08:37,095
But, Dad, my flan debuts at
the restaurant today at lunch.
265
00:08:37,247 --> 00:08:38,747
You promised to go.
266
00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,190
I'll meet you there at noo...
267
00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:42,083
[groaning]
268
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:43,268
[whimpers]
269
00:08:43,362 --> 00:08:44,027
...oon.
270
00:08:44,254 --> 00:08:46,437
[pained grunting]
271
00:08:46,514 --> 00:08:49,274
Should we just take his pee
by force?
272
00:08:49,426 --> 00:08:51,535
Damn it.
If we can't get Dad to a doctor,
273
00:08:51,686 --> 00:08:53,278
maybe we can
get a doctor to Dad.
274
00:08:53,354 --> 00:08:57,207
Yep. One way or another, we have
got to push those D's together.
275
00:08:57,358 --> 00:08:59,042
Okay, now I'm doing it.
276
00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:01,193
[Honeybee] All right,
we know that Wife's grave
277
00:09:01,288 --> 00:09:02,771
is from 1888.
278
00:09:02,789 --> 00:09:05,106
And it says here that some
very unprepared British settlers
279
00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:07,092
came here to join
some other European idiots
280
00:09:07,201 --> 00:09:08,218
around that time.
281
00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:09,869
Yeah, dumb white people
282
00:09:09,888 --> 00:09:11,946
was definitely
the early Lone Moose vibe.
283
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,616
Ugh, but she could be any
of these smoking '80s babes.
284
00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:16,393
How do I match a face
with a grave?
285
00:09:16,544 --> 00:09:18,044
Well, maybe we should
just give up
286
00:09:18,138 --> 00:09:20,805
and go over to Ham's
big flan menu reveal?
287
00:09:20,899 --> 00:09:24,383
I mean, maybe one of these gals
wasn't as dumb as the others.
288
00:09:24,403 --> 00:09:27,312
Maybe she was actually
a big-city girl from London
289
00:09:27,406 --> 00:09:29,221
and her name
was something like...
290
00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:30,648
Persephogenia Lumpnobble.
291
00:09:30,817 --> 00:09:33,076
And she was an associate
professor of squalor studies
292
00:09:33,227 --> 00:09:34,469
who'd come to do research.
293
00:09:34,471 --> 00:09:35,486
Now, back then,
294
00:09:35,639 --> 00:09:37,080
most of the dumb
European settlers
295
00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:39,749
lived in holes
in a big old mud and poop lake.
296
00:09:39,976 --> 00:09:41,976
Mm, such wonderful squalor.
297
00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:45,330
It's wall-to-wall squall
around here.
298
00:09:45,424 --> 00:09:47,073
[Honeybee]
They weren't used to strangers
in Lone Moose,
299
00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:50,076
so this beauty stood out
like a ravishing thumb.
300
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,320
And then a squalid
but handsome gentleman
301
00:09:52,339 --> 00:09:54,339
extended his dirty hand to her.
302
00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:56,007
Wa-wa-wee-wa.
303
00:09:56,101 --> 00:09:57,416
Pardon me, ma'am. I can tell
304
00:09:57,436 --> 00:09:58,843
by how little dirt you have
in your teeth
305
00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:00,662
that you're not
from around here.
306
00:10:00,664 --> 00:10:03,106
Might I take you on a tour
of our nasty neighborhood?
307
00:10:03,257 --> 00:10:05,108
This is our pile
of dead animals.
308
00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:07,277
This is our pile of dead people.
309
00:10:07,428 --> 00:10:08,928
And this is our playground.
310
00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:13,174
I have an idea that could change
things for all of you.
311
00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:15,343
It's a reverse hole
above the ground,
312
00:10:15,362 --> 00:10:17,269
and we call it "a house."
313
00:10:17,289 --> 00:10:18,604
[Honeybee]
And maybe
314
00:10:18,698 --> 00:10:21,182
Persephogenia taught
all the dum-dums about houses
315
00:10:21,201 --> 00:10:22,942
and they stopped living
in holes.
316
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:24,535
And she was about to return
to London
317
00:10:24,688 --> 00:10:26,537
when the townie
did something super romantic.
318
00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:29,190
Miss Clean Lady,
I want you to have this.
319
00:10:29,209 --> 00:10:31,968
It's a hideous corn husk doll
I made for you.
320
00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:34,620
Ma'am, mightn't
we become betrothed in wedlock
321
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,532
and grow to the ripe old age
of 35 together?
322
00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:38,700
[Honeybee]
And she said yes.
323
00:10:38,793 --> 00:10:39,976
And then one day they went
324
00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,220
to a beaver corpse
baseball game, and...
325
00:10:42,314 --> 00:10:44,314
-[all gasp]
-Aah!
-...she died.
326
00:10:44,465 --> 00:10:46,465
And because the nasty Townie
never learned her name,
327
00:10:46,485 --> 00:10:48,151
he paid a local child in tobacco
328
00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:50,320
to just chisel "Wife"
on her headstone.
329
00:10:50,547 --> 00:10:52,155
And then, I guess,
everyone forgot about her
330
00:10:52,382 --> 00:10:54,732
and her contributions,
including her friend Veronica.
331
00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:56,217
[Judy]
Oof. Poor
332
00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,643
Persephogenia Lumpnobble.
333
00:10:57,737 --> 00:10:59,721
And poor us, 'cause we still
don't have any answers.
334
00:10:59,739 --> 00:11:02,740
But I'm thinking maybe we should
check the old census records
335
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,150
at the historical society.
336
00:11:04,227 --> 00:11:07,153
Oh, wow, I'm excited.
You guys excited?
337
00:11:07,172 --> 00:11:08,730
I'm just kidding.
Let's go.
338
00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:11,065
Thanks for wearing
the disguise, Dr. Callahan.
339
00:11:11,084 --> 00:11:13,584
It'll help us get you close
enough to Dad to examine him.
340
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,087
Sure. I mean, I mostly do
this kind of thing for kids
341
00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:17,514
who are scared of the doctor.
342
00:11:17,665 --> 00:11:20,850
And also, pirate meetups,
and once in my private life,
343
00:11:21,002 --> 00:11:22,334
-but I'm happy to help.
-Great.
344
00:11:22,354 --> 00:11:23,928
We really don't want
our dad to die.
345
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,189
I'm not ready to be
the Tobin patriarch yet.
346
00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:27,932
I don't even know
when trash day is.
347
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:30,476
So, here's the plan:
approach the table,
348
00:11:30,529 --> 00:11:32,028
claim to be
a fellow sea captain--
349
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:34,572
which Dad'll love 'cause
he's a real captain hound--
350
00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:37,183
then give him a long hug
and listen to his heart.
351
00:11:37,202 --> 00:11:40,203
Bada-bing, bada-boom,
you diagnose our dad.
352
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,113
What the...
353
00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:43,264
[humming a tune]
354
00:11:43,266 --> 00:11:45,099
[laughs]
Hello, boys.
355
00:11:45,118 --> 00:11:46,284
Guess who's all better.
356
00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:48,545
For real this time,
and I am not lying.
357
00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:52,031
Enter, and let us celebrate
your brother's flan.
358
00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:55,443
Our father sucked upon a pipe
and he hath been healed.
359
00:11:55,536 --> 00:11:57,095
Hallelujah.
360
00:12:01,042 --> 00:12:03,284
So, you really feel all better?
361
00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:05,286
[Beef] Yep. Pardon me
for starting without you,
362
00:12:05,305 --> 00:12:07,731
but I haven't been able
to eat much the past few days.
363
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:11,642
My fettuccine Alfredo levels
had gotten dangerously low.
364
00:12:11,737 --> 00:12:13,570
So, you have, like, no pain
365
00:12:13,721 --> 00:12:15,480
-at all?
-Nope.
366
00:12:15,574 --> 00:12:18,074
[pirate accent]: Hello there,
friends. I'm a ship's captain
367
00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:21,578
blowing through town
with me, uh, cargo.
368
00:12:21,747 --> 00:12:23,246
May I give you a hug?
369
00:12:23,473 --> 00:12:25,248
[laughs]
Hello, Dr. Callahan.
370
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,976
Let me guess-- my boys
asked you to come down here
371
00:12:28,069 --> 00:12:29,994
and sneakily give me a checkup?
372
00:12:30,088 --> 00:12:31,813
[regular accent]:
Argh, you caught me.
373
00:12:31,906 --> 00:12:33,239
They're worried about you, Beef.
374
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,591
Actually, Doc,
he feels all better.
375
00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:37,001
Okay, well, there are
some serious conditions
376
00:12:37,095 --> 00:12:38,261
that can come and go,
377
00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:39,763
-namely gall--
-Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
378
00:12:39,914 --> 00:12:42,840
This is a restaurant,
not a medicine class.
379
00:12:42,993 --> 00:12:44,993
I'm here celebrate
my son's success
380
00:12:45,011 --> 00:12:47,270
in the Lone Moose
culinary scene.
381
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:48,605
But the pain
in your back and chest--
382
00:12:48,756 --> 00:12:52,500
Uh-uh. Life is a mystery,
and no spoilers, please.
383
00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:54,093
-Beef, but it could be--
-No. You know what?
384
00:12:54,187 --> 00:12:56,337
If you won't leave me alone,
then I'll leave you alone.
385
00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:58,114
I'm gonna snow machine home.
386
00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:01,843
Come along, potato, I shall
be devouring you on the way.
387
00:13:01,936 --> 00:13:04,436
But Dad, my flan!
My big day.
388
00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,790
I love you, son.
Bring me home a piece.
389
00:13:06,866 --> 00:13:09,608
[mutters] Stupid doctor doesn't
know what he's talking about.
390
00:13:09,702 --> 00:13:11,519
Nothing wrong with me.
I've never felt better.
391
00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:13,946
Aah!
My heart!
392
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:16,357
Aah! My potato!
393
00:13:16,376 --> 00:13:18,359
Aah!
394
00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:20,545
[grunts, groans]
Can't move.
395
00:13:20,639 --> 00:13:23,139
I'm so sorry, potato.
396
00:13:23,366 --> 00:13:24,882
[Honeybee]
Huh, maybe
397
00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:26,142
this is something.
Says here
398
00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:28,536
there was a log-rolling
competition in 1888,
399
00:13:28,629 --> 00:13:30,129
but only men
were allowed to enter.
400
00:13:30,223 --> 00:13:31,630
That's something I'll never say.
401
00:13:31,650 --> 00:13:33,558
Still, you got to wonder,
what if there was one woman
402
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,726
who did try to enter?
Let's say she married a man
403
00:13:35,821 --> 00:13:38,655
who worked at the mill.
And maybe this lady was gifted
404
00:13:38,806 --> 00:13:41,473
with log-rolling abilities.
See, this wife had been born
405
00:13:41,568 --> 00:13:43,401
on a log in the middle
of the Mighty Mississipp,
406
00:13:43,495 --> 00:13:44,735
and she could spin
407
00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:46,904
that wily wood like
she was hanging a drape.
408
00:13:47,057 --> 00:13:48,498
And she was so talented,
it caught on,
409
00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:51,059
and everybody in Lone Moose
wanted to learn
410
00:13:51,152 --> 00:13:52,669
and be just like her.
411
00:13:52,745 --> 00:13:55,688
It became so popular, they
decided to have a competition.
412
00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:57,674
But wouldn't you know it,
they made a rule that women
413
00:13:57,825 --> 00:13:59,342
couldn't compete,
even though this wife
414
00:13:59,493 --> 00:14:00,659
started the whole damn thing.
415
00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:01,903
So she taught her husband
416
00:14:01,905 --> 00:14:03,421
everything she knew, and he won.
417
00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:06,924
And then people started saying
he taught her to log-roll.
418
00:14:07,077 --> 00:14:08,500
And of course
he took credit for it,
419
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,428
'cause taking credit
for stuff is fun.
420
00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:12,171
Wife decided to prove herself
by getting out there
421
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,524
on the river, and she was
absolutely incredible.
422
00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:18,344
But then, a big wave
washed her out to sea.
423
00:14:18,363 --> 00:14:21,923
And she danced on that log
for months, waiting for help.
424
00:14:22,016 --> 00:14:23,533
And then, sadly,
she got run over
425
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,943
-Aah!
-by the Titanic, and she died.
426
00:14:26,096 --> 00:14:27,871
[Dirt]
Man, that Titanic
couldn't do anything right.
427
00:14:28,022 --> 00:14:30,448
[Honeybee]
And her husband
felt so bad about stealing
428
00:14:30,617 --> 00:14:31,949
her log-thunder,
he couldn't bear
429
00:14:32,102 --> 00:14:33,751
to even see her beautiful name,
so he put "Wife"
430
00:14:33,861 --> 00:14:37,380
on her grave
and then he exploded from grief.
431
00:14:38,274 --> 00:14:40,383
And with him
died the last memory of her,
432
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:43,035
even though
she was an absolute boss.
433
00:14:43,204 --> 00:14:45,221
That's clearly what happened.
Let's go eat.
434
00:14:45,331 --> 00:14:49,041
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
and flan to my mouth.
435
00:14:49,135 --> 00:14:52,120
Dust. Sawdust.
The old Lone Moose Mill.
436
00:14:52,138 --> 00:14:54,046
We should go over there
and check the employee records.
437
00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:56,307
Oh, right.
Almost everyone and their child
438
00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:57,975
worked at the mill
back in the day.
439
00:14:58,128 --> 00:14:59,627
Not me.
I was foreman at the quarry
440
00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,053
all through middle school.
441
00:15:01,147 --> 00:15:03,573
Ten cents more an hour and all
the gravel you could eat.
442
00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:06,892
[groaning]
443
00:15:06,912 --> 00:15:07,911
Missing...
444
00:15:08,138 --> 00:15:10,321
ooh, precious...
445
00:15:10,473 --> 00:15:12,323
m-moments.
446
00:15:12,475 --> 00:15:13,917
Dying. [grunts]
447
00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:15,326
Ooh, ooh, my phone.
448
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:16,661
[strains]
449
00:15:16,755 --> 00:15:18,904
Ooh. Must crawl.
450
00:15:18,998 --> 00:15:21,332
[straining]
451
00:15:21,426 --> 00:15:23,909
-[phone rings]
-No, no. Decline. Damn it.
452
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:25,577
-No. [moans]
-Hey, it's me, Londra.
453
00:15:25,672 --> 00:15:27,764
Okay, so Beef,
you're not gonna believe this.
454
00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:29,991
-Nuh...
-Dusty and I were in Anchorage
this morning,
455
00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:31,601
food shopping
for her birthday dinner,
456
00:15:31,752 --> 00:15:33,661
and the Anchorage Food Otter
has watermelons.
457
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,422
-[groans] Oh...
-No, that's not the crazy part.
458
00:15:36,441 --> 00:15:39,943
We cut the watermelon open,
and inside? A set of keys!
459
00:15:40,094 --> 00:15:42,019
[moaning] Oh...
460
00:15:42,113 --> 00:15:44,113
-Londra...
-Oh, my God, Beef,
461
00:15:44,265 --> 00:15:46,507
Dusty found a Bratz doll
in there, too.
462
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,100
I'd love to chat more,
463
00:15:48,194 --> 00:15:50,662
but I got a lot more people
to call. Bye!
464
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:56,200
♪ ♪
465
00:15:56,294 --> 00:15:57,185
Uh-oh.
466
00:15:57,203 --> 00:16:00,037
Hello, anyone? Am I...
467
00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:01,539
Oh, it's you. Hey, Dennis.
468
00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:02,781
Oh, you remembered my name.
469
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:04,525
Yes, it's me. Your heart.
470
00:16:04,544 --> 00:16:05,693
Wassup?
471
00:16:05,786 --> 00:16:07,470
Oh, God. If you're here,
you're gonna tell me
472
00:16:07,621 --> 00:16:09,213
something's wrong
with my heart, right?
473
00:16:09,307 --> 00:16:10,473
That's why I've been having
the chest pain?
474
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,383
What? I'm offended.
I'm in incredible shape.
475
00:16:12,477 --> 00:16:15,386
I'm a heart and yet, somehow,
I have abs.
476
00:16:15,538 --> 00:16:16,962
-Wow.
-Yeah, your lifestyle
477
00:16:17,056 --> 00:16:18,889
of constant physical activity,
heavy meats
478
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,209
and relentless stress
keeps me very strong.
479
00:16:21,302 --> 00:16:23,728
Good to know,
but what is wrong with me?
480
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,047
I have been in a lot of pain.
481
00:16:26,065 --> 00:16:27,991
I can't diagnose you.
A doctor should do that.
482
00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:30,476
Which is why I'm here.
I want to know why on Earth
483
00:16:30,495 --> 00:16:32,903
you won't go see
a flipping' doctor, my man.
484
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,572
I... I'm afraid.
485
00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:36,390
'Cause what if it's something
really bad
486
00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:39,151
and then I die
and leave the kids behind?
487
00:16:39,245 --> 00:16:40,837
Wait, what? We die?
488
00:16:41,064 --> 00:16:44,065
Yes, I'll die someday,
and you'll die with me.
489
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:45,583
What the hell, man?
This ends?!
490
00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:47,735
The brain didn't say anything
about that to me.
491
00:16:47,754 --> 00:16:49,345
Sorry.
I-I assumed you knew.
492
00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:52,015
Uh, no, I did not know.
I'm just a heart, man.
493
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,500
-I can't think on my own.
-Apologies again.
494
00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:56,244
But yeah, that's
what I'm afraid of.
495
00:16:56,262 --> 00:16:58,670
That I'll see the doctor
and he'll say I'm about to die,
496
00:16:58,765 --> 00:17:00,005
and then I'll have to live
a little longer
497
00:17:00,025 --> 00:17:01,858
knowing I'm gonna
leave these amazing kids
498
00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:04,919
and all the weird things they do
that I love so much behind.
499
00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:08,698
Also, trees and rocks and
mountains and Andie MacDowell?
500
00:17:08,849 --> 00:17:11,850
God, there's so much good stuff
here, I don't want to leave.
501
00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:13,261
Well, then,
what are you doing, man?
502
00:17:13,279 --> 00:17:14,595
Go to a doctor now.
503
00:17:14,688 --> 00:17:16,447
-You're right, I should save us.
-Yes.
504
00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:18,099
If I don't do the thing
I'm afraid of
505
00:17:18,192 --> 00:17:20,618
then the thing I'm
really afraid of will happen.
506
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:21,952
Yes, let's not die.
507
00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:23,604
We have so much
to look forward to.
508
00:17:23,697 --> 00:17:25,956
I have a date with a teacher
from Ohio on Thursday.
509
00:17:26,109 --> 00:17:27,699
-Wait, how?
-Well, I met her...
510
00:17:27,719 --> 00:17:31,112
Ugh, no time. Good God, Beef,
do something now.
511
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:33,473
Okay, okay. I will.
512
00:17:34,617 --> 00:17:35,783
[grunts]
513
00:17:35,802 --> 00:17:38,895
Boys!
Dr. Callahan!
514
00:17:39,122 --> 00:17:40,379
Is that Dad?
515
00:17:40,398 --> 00:17:42,456
I need help!
516
00:17:42,550 --> 00:17:46,778
Pull back my body curtain
and look inside.
517
00:17:48,147 --> 00:17:49,480
[Honeybee]
Hi.
518
00:17:49,632 --> 00:17:51,299
We were wondering if you
had employment records
519
00:17:51,392 --> 00:17:54,226
-from the 1880s.
-I'm sorry, the mill
has burned down
520
00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:55,894
and been rebuilt since then.
521
00:17:55,972 --> 00:17:58,247
-47 times.
-Damn it!
522
00:17:59,084 --> 00:18:00,583
-[sighs]
-Well, Honeybee,
523
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:02,067
you did all you could.
524
00:18:02,236 --> 00:18:04,645
Maybe it's just time
to let a sleeping corpse lie.
525
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:06,238
No, we can't give up.
526
00:18:06,332 --> 00:18:08,316
Why is this bothering you
so much?
527
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:09,741
I just...
I mean, what if this lady
528
00:18:09,836 --> 00:18:11,168
came all the way from Fresno?
529
00:18:11,262 --> 00:18:13,003
You know, 'cause she fell
in love with a guy she met
530
00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:15,823
in an 1800s Morse code chat room
or, uh, something,
531
00:18:15,842 --> 00:18:19,510
and it seemed like a good idea
but then she... she just died.
532
00:18:19,604 --> 00:18:21,329
And then everybody
forgot who she was.
533
00:18:21,347 --> 00:18:22,830
-The end.
-Okay, Honeybee, wait,
534
00:18:22,849 --> 00:18:25,833
you don't think you're like
this dead lady, do you?
535
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:28,427
Maybe. Ugh.
My dumb friend Veronica
536
00:18:28,521 --> 00:18:31,689
said I gave up my life
and followed a guy to Alaska.
537
00:18:31,841 --> 00:18:33,616
Am I just a wife?
538
00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:34,859
Honeybee, come on.
539
00:18:35,011 --> 00:18:36,527
You're already a legend
in Lone Moose.
540
00:18:36,621 --> 00:18:38,512
You've been mayor,
you got attacked by an eagle,
541
00:18:38,531 --> 00:18:40,364
you got in a slap fight
with a drifter.
542
00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:43,351
If anything, Wolf should
be afraid he's gonna end up
543
00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:44,702
in a grave just marked
"Husband."
544
00:18:44,796 --> 00:18:46,963
And you should make sure
he does, as a goof.
545
00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:49,039
Poor Wife.
I guess the least we can do
546
00:18:49,192 --> 00:18:50,282
is lay some flowers
on her grave.
547
00:18:50,301 --> 00:18:52,334
And a pepperoni pizza.
548
00:18:52,487 --> 00:18:53,527
I mean, sure?
549
00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:55,454
Have you had
a pepperoni pizza before?
550
00:18:55,473 --> 00:18:58,975
They're amazing.
It's a beautiful gesture.
551
00:18:59,202 --> 00:19:02,645
There you go, Wife.
Enjoy your pizza.
552
00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:04,671
Wait, what's that?
553
00:19:04,673 --> 00:19:06,816
[Judy]
"Bartholomew Wife"?
554
00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,985
Hold up. "Wife" is a last name?
555
00:19:09,061 --> 00:19:11,821
"Manifred Wife,
pronounced, 'Wee-Fay,'
556
00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:14,048
"was also known
as Manifred the Maniac.
557
00:19:14,066 --> 00:19:16,492
"Manifred Wife
was a prolific murderer
558
00:19:16,644 --> 00:19:19,403
who killed 17 people including
her husband Bartholomew."
559
00:19:19,555 --> 00:19:22,056
-Whoa.
-So, she wasn't just a wife.
560
00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:23,741
Good for you.
561
00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:25,226
[Beef]
My gallbladder, huh?
562
00:19:25,244 --> 00:19:28,062
Yep. You got some pretty
sizable stones in there.
563
00:19:28,231 --> 00:19:29,430
Hell yeah he does.
564
00:19:29,432 --> 00:19:31,490
Dad's 'blad
makes some sick stones.
565
00:19:31,509 --> 00:19:33,567
The pain can come and go
with eating,
566
00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:36,420
but we'll remove it today
and you're as free as a bird.
567
00:19:36,572 --> 00:19:38,514
I have my Lil Preppers
surgery badge, Doc.
568
00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:39,849
I can scrub in if needed.
569
00:19:40,076 --> 00:19:41,667
Won't be necessary
for this one, Moon.
570
00:19:41,761 --> 00:19:43,761
But I do have a spinal surgery
on Thursday
571
00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:45,188
I wouldn't mind a consult on.
572
00:19:45,339 --> 00:19:48,265
Uh, I'll have to move some
things around, but I'm in.
573
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,693
Dad, we're real proud of you
for finally asking for help
574
00:19:50,844 --> 00:19:52,862
from a doctor
who isn't a pipe on a hill.
575
00:19:53,013 --> 00:19:54,864
And, uh, maybe you could,
uh, do it again--
576
00:19:55,091 --> 00:19:56,866
the seeing a doctor thing--
'cause of how we want you
577
00:19:57,093 --> 00:19:58,201
to be alive?
578
00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:01,095
-Sorry to be pushy.
-No, Ham, you're right.
579
00:20:01,188 --> 00:20:04,265
I promise, from now on,
I'll get an annual physical,
580
00:20:04,358 --> 00:20:06,542
every five to six years or so.
581
00:20:06,769 --> 00:20:07,710
[Wolf]
That's a start.
582
00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:09,712
Vaya con dad-os, gallbladder.
583
00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:12,715
You're gonna be all right.
584
00:20:13,718 --> 00:20:14,884
[Honeybee]
What the hell?
585
00:20:15,111 --> 00:20:16,719
You all have gravestones
already?
586
00:20:16,888 --> 00:20:18,537
Yes, a few years ago,
I got a deal
587
00:20:18,556 --> 00:20:21,873
on some granite and, uh, well,
one thing led to another.
588
00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:25,135
Speaking of which... Honeybee,
a little bird named Judy told me
589
00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:27,788
that you were kind of worried
about ending up like old Wife,
590
00:20:27,807 --> 00:20:31,459
which inspired me to get you
this stone stunner.
591
00:20:31,477 --> 00:20:32,551
[Honeybee]
You picked a death year?
592
00:20:32,570 --> 00:20:34,761
You'll be 220 years old,
so it's cool.
593
00:20:34,814 --> 00:20:37,147
And it also has all kinds
of facts about you on it,
594
00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:40,150
like that you're a
Shrek-thusiast, an entrepreneur.
595
00:20:40,245 --> 00:20:42,319
Plus, lots of space to add
anything else as it comes along.
596
00:20:42,472 --> 00:20:45,081
Like if you suddenly get
super into Dave Matthews Band.
597
00:20:45,232 --> 00:20:46,824
Wolf, this is deeply unsettling.
598
00:20:46,918 --> 00:20:48,809
But also kind of touching,
I guess.
599
00:20:48,828 --> 00:20:50,569
All right, enough grave-gazing.
600
00:20:50,588 --> 00:20:53,256
Let's head in for dinner.
Now that my G-blad is out,
601
00:20:53,332 --> 00:20:54,906
fatty foods are my friend again,
602
00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:57,318
and I made my famous
five-butters casserole.
603
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,336
Dibs on a corner piece.
604
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:01,747
[Dirt] ♪ Hey, there, lady,
sitting and pouting ♪
605
00:21:01,766 --> 00:21:04,082
♪ Hey, there, woman,
just a-sitting and a-doubting ♪
606
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,993
♪ I think you're perfect
within and without and hey ♪
607
00:21:06,086 --> 00:21:07,995
♪ Get onto my log ♪
608
00:21:07,997 --> 00:21:11,941
♪ Oh, when we're on the log,
our worries cannot find us ♪
609
00:21:12,092 --> 00:21:16,353
♪ A stump beneath our feet,
the past so far behind us ♪
610
00:21:16,447 --> 00:21:18,764
♪ Spinning down the river,
footloose and fancy-free ♪
611
00:21:18,783 --> 00:21:20,858
♪ Am I the log or is she me? ♪
612
00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:22,526
♪ Birch or elm,
maple or sycamore ♪
613
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:25,270
♪ I like to hop on with a gal
or two or four ♪
614
00:21:25,290 --> 00:21:27,272
♪ Let's take our log to Paris
or the Jersey Shore ♪
615
00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:29,625
♪ Hey, get onto my log. ♪
616
00:21:29,777 --> 00:21:31,519
[boat horn blows]
617
00:21:31,537 --> 00:21:33,629
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
618
00:21:33,781 --> 00:21:35,131
and TOYOTA.