1 00:00:01,565 --> 00:00:04,750 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:06,010 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:06,237 --> 00:00:07,827 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,921 --> 00:00:10,239 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,332 --> 00:00:13,833 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,927 --> 00:00:15,077 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:15,095 --> 00:00:16,745 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,764 --> 00:00:17,763 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,931 --> 00:00:21,250 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,268 --> 00:00:22,842 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,936 --> 00:00:24,253 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,346 --> 00:00:25,845 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,939 --> 00:00:29,700 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,537 --> 00:00:33,945 [cheering] 15 00:00:35,207 --> 00:00:38,116 Ham, I love that you made my pancake into a little face, 16 00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:39,359 but I regret to inform you 17 00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:42,028 that now I simply cannot eat Gerard. 18 00:00:42,048 --> 00:00:43,605 Gonna have a tough life in Alaska 19 00:00:43,698 --> 00:00:45,382 if you can't bring yourself to eat a friend, doll. 20 00:00:45,534 --> 00:00:48,385 Hmm. Okay, how about a piece of my practice flan instead? 21 00:00:48,462 --> 00:00:51,947 Dad ate most of them yesterday, but there's a few left. 22 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,949 Figures. For centuries, men have been eating 23 00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:55,634 more than their fair share of the flan. 24 00:00:55,786 --> 00:00:57,119 Preach. Pigs. 25 00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:58,787 (whoops) My brother's gonna be a celebrity 26 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,124 for making the flan for a real, professional restaurant. 27 00:01:02,217 --> 00:01:03,959 You must feel like the non-famous Hemsworth 28 00:01:03,977 --> 00:01:05,569 -right about now, huh? -Yep. 29 00:01:05,679 --> 00:01:07,237 Invisible but proud. 30 00:01:07,389 --> 00:01:08,739 Which menu will your flan be on? 31 00:01:08,966 --> 00:01:10,557 Regular, kids or seniors? 32 00:01:10,651 --> 00:01:12,150 -All three, baby. -[Judy] Ooh-la-la. 33 00:01:12,303 --> 00:01:14,152 Holy hot dogs, Ham. 34 00:01:14,246 --> 00:01:15,579 Hey, where's Dad? 35 00:01:15,806 --> 00:01:17,748 He usually only takes a three-and-a-half-minute shower, 36 00:01:17,899 --> 00:01:20,066 but he's been in there 14 minutes now. 37 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,144 Hmm. I mean, he's probably just way in the zone. 38 00:01:22,237 --> 00:01:24,404 Getting all those papa nooks and dad crannies. 39 00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:26,164 Wolf, how many times do I have to ask you 40 00:01:26,317 --> 00:01:27,499 not to say "dad crannies"? 41 00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:28,984 Many more, probably. 42 00:01:29,153 --> 00:01:29,985 [Beef] Gah! 43 00:01:30,154 --> 00:01:31,077 Was that Dad? 44 00:01:31,097 --> 00:01:32,429 [Beef wails] 45 00:01:32,581 --> 00:01:34,289 Dad, you okay in there? 46 00:01:34,341 --> 00:01:36,600 Perfect. [groaning loudly] 47 00:01:36,751 --> 00:01:38,084 Oh. Uh... [chuckles] Whoops. 48 00:01:38,178 --> 00:01:39,103 Closing the door. 49 00:01:39,254 --> 00:01:40,604 Uh, but, Dad... [stammers] 50 00:01:40,755 --> 00:01:41,605 sounds like you're in pain? 51 00:01:41,756 --> 00:01:42,755 I am fine, son. 52 00:01:42,775 --> 00:01:43,774 [groans] 53 00:01:44,092 --> 00:01:46,668 Just having a little pain in my midsection. 54 00:01:46,761 --> 00:01:48,445 And chest. And back. 55 00:01:48,597 --> 00:01:49,947 -Chest? -And back. 56 00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,840 Probably just pulled some muscles. 57 00:01:51,859 --> 00:01:52,932 You want me to, uh... [stammers] 58 00:01:52,952 --> 00:01:54,509 come in and get your towel for you? 59 00:01:54,603 --> 00:01:57,454 No, thank you, son. I shall use nature's towel-- 60 00:01:57,681 --> 00:01:58,771 standing here. 61 00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:00,457 -[groaning] -[Ham] Hey, Dad. 62 00:02:00,609 --> 00:02:02,442 -You doing okay? -Do not worry, Ham. 63 00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:04,795 Just pulled a few muscles in the shower. 64 00:02:04,964 --> 00:02:08,357 -Makes perfect sense, but may I also suggest you see a doctor? -[groaning] 65 00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:11,784 Nonsense. I'll go see the magical glacial water pipe 66 00:02:11,804 --> 00:02:14,379 in Death Cliff today and drink its healing waters. 67 00:02:14,531 --> 00:02:17,290 -[groaning] -Mother Pipe? Dad, that's a very cool legend, 68 00:02:17,368 --> 00:02:20,978 but maybe we see a real doctor instead of a leaky metal tube. 69 00:02:21,129 --> 00:02:21,870 No, thank you. 70 00:02:21,889 --> 00:02:22,813 Now, if you'll excuse me, 71 00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:25,298 I better get ready for my journey. 72 00:02:25,317 --> 00:02:26,375 [groans] 73 00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,543 [strained] Mmm, that's good. 74 00:02:28,637 --> 00:02:30,487 -Oop. -[all exclaim] -[Ham] Dad butt! 75 00:02:30,714 --> 00:02:32,214 Good thinking, towel. 76 00:02:32,307 --> 00:02:34,216 I am perfectly dry. 77 00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:35,492 [groaning] 78 00:02:35,644 --> 00:02:37,661 Huh. So the crooked butt crack runs in the family. 79 00:02:37,888 --> 00:02:40,572 -Oh, yeah. -Uh-huh. -My poops come out in a curlicue 80 00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:42,166 like soft-serve ice cream. 81 00:02:42,393 --> 00:02:43,667 [Honeybee] Well, it was great to see you, veronica. 82 00:02:43,894 --> 00:02:46,061 We can't let two years go by again. 83 00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:47,913 I was relieved when you reached out to me. 84 00:02:48,065 --> 00:02:50,156 Funny story-- I thought you were dead. 85 00:02:50,176 --> 00:02:51,508 -Really? -Uh, yeah. 86 00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:53,402 Everyone in Fresno said you followed some guy 87 00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,070 into the wilderness. [chuckles] 88 00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:56,829 I've seen Dateline, Honeybee. 89 00:02:56,998 --> 00:02:58,240 I know how those stories end. 90 00:02:58,258 --> 00:02:59,999 Uh, I didn't just follow a guy. 91 00:03:00,019 --> 00:03:01,334 I fell in love. 92 00:03:01,428 --> 00:03:03,353 Is someone making you say that right now? 93 00:03:03,505 --> 00:03:05,505 -Blink three times if yes. -[chuckles] 94 00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:07,265 -I just got married and moved away. -Okay, 95 00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:11,344 it's just... If anything, a guy should be following you. 96 00:03:11,513 --> 00:03:12,921 Oh, crap, I got to go. 97 00:03:13,014 --> 00:03:15,181 My neighbor's kid is looking through my window again. 98 00:03:15,201 --> 00:03:16,650 Get out of here, Hans! 99 00:03:16,702 --> 00:03:19,778 Bye, Honeybee. Don't lose yourself up there. 100 00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:20,779 Whatever, Veronica. 101 00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,039 I didn't follow a guy. 102 00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:24,282 I'm a leader. In fact, I'm gonna lead myself 103 00:03:24,435 --> 00:03:25,784 on a walk around the property. 104 00:03:25,878 --> 00:03:27,269 And because I want to, not because it's one 105 00:03:27,362 --> 00:03:30,214 of the only things you can do around this place. 106 00:03:30,441 --> 00:03:31,715 [groans] 107 00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,217 Okay. 108 00:03:33,368 --> 00:03:34,033 Oh... 109 00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:35,552 There she is, Mother Pipe. 110 00:03:35,704 --> 00:03:37,721 Alaska's doctor. 111 00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:39,448 Sweet mountain nectar. 112 00:03:39,466 --> 00:03:41,642 [groaning] 113 00:03:43,637 --> 00:03:45,120 Ah. 114 00:03:45,138 --> 00:03:46,288 Thank you, dear Mother. 115 00:03:46,306 --> 00:03:49,048 I have suckled and been made whole. 116 00:03:49,126 --> 00:03:50,067 [yells] 117 00:03:50,218 --> 00:03:52,069 [grunts, groaning] 118 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,886 Better go have one more sip 119 00:03:53,981 --> 00:03:55,906 to heal these fresh wounds. 120 00:03:56,057 --> 00:03:59,243 [grunting] 121 00:03:59,394 --> 00:04:01,486 I mean, who does Veronica think she is? 122 00:04:01,638 --> 00:04:03,247 So what if I moved up here for a guy? 123 00:04:03,474 --> 00:04:04,806 What, I should have stayed in Fresno, 124 00:04:04,825 --> 00:04:05,974 working at the curtain store? 125 00:04:05,993 --> 00:04:07,584 My dad playing Steely Dan all day? 126 00:04:07,736 --> 00:04:09,586 Ooh. What in the... 127 00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:11,070 "Wife"? 128 00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:12,739 That's all they put on this lady's grave? 129 00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:13,982 No name? 130 00:04:14,075 --> 00:04:15,500 Well, maybe there's something on the back. 131 00:04:15,594 --> 00:04:16,743 Mm, nope. 132 00:04:16,837 --> 00:04:17,819 You poor girl. 133 00:04:17,912 --> 00:04:19,263 You got to be more than just "Wife." 134 00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:20,672 I got to get to the bottom of this. 135 00:04:20,824 --> 00:04:22,991 All right, Wife, you wait right here, which... 136 00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,659 you have to, 'cause you're dead. 137 00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:26,270 Uh, I-I'll be right back. 138 00:04:26,379 --> 00:04:29,014 [Dirt] Thanks for taking me by the grocery store. 139 00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:32,000 I still can't believe you can buy a fully cooked chicken 140 00:04:32,019 --> 00:04:33,351 every single day. 141 00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:35,020 Mmm. Good. 142 00:04:35,114 --> 00:04:37,597 And they did not skimp on the bones. 143 00:04:37,616 --> 00:04:39,007 Oh, hey, kids. 144 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,433 Your dad went to suck on that drainage pipe 145 00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:43,036 or whatever it is, so he sent us to get you. 146 00:04:44,439 --> 00:04:47,106 So, guys, have you seen this grave out in the woods 147 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,683 -that's just labeled "Wife"? -Yep. 148 00:04:48,702 --> 00:04:51,520 I have that grave marked on my cemetery map of Lone Moose 149 00:04:51,538 --> 00:04:53,371 for when the zombie apocalypse starts. 150 00:04:53,524 --> 00:04:55,524 Hell if Wife is gonna eat my brain. 151 00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:56,783 Well, she's eating my brain already, 152 00:04:56,951 --> 00:04:58,117 'cause she's all I can think about. 153 00:04:58,137 --> 00:05:00,137 That poor woman is just lying out there 154 00:05:00,288 --> 00:05:01,546 in a hole marked "Wife." 155 00:05:01,698 --> 00:05:02,881 Not even a name. 156 00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:04,382 I've seen that grave, like, a million times 157 00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:06,643 and just kind of shrugged it off as vintage sexism, 158 00:05:06,795 --> 00:05:09,295 but, yeah, no one deserves to just be thrown in a hole 159 00:05:09,315 --> 00:05:11,206 and labeled with the W-word. 160 00:05:11,299 --> 00:05:13,483 Unless the W-word is "Wassup." 161 00:05:13,635 --> 00:05:15,560 Can you even imagine that on a grave? 162 00:05:15,712 --> 00:05:17,379 I think I'm gonna do a little research 163 00:05:17,472 --> 00:05:18,805 and find out who this woman was. 164 00:05:18,824 --> 00:05:20,549 Maybe I can share her accomplishments with the world. 165 00:05:20,642 --> 00:05:22,734 -Oh, I'm in. -Let's dig up her secrets. 166 00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:24,903 And maybe her jewelry. 167 00:05:24,997 --> 00:05:26,847 [Beef groaning] 168 00:05:26,849 --> 00:05:28,056 Ow. 169 00:05:28,149 --> 00:05:29,148 Hey, Dad. 170 00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:31,150 That's a pretty fun noise you're making. 171 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:34,338 Mm, you aren't by any chance still in pain, are you, Father? 172 00:05:34,489 --> 00:05:36,489 Mm, nope. I suckled the pipe, 173 00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:40,677 and her nectars are at this very moment coating my insides 174 00:05:40,829 --> 00:05:42,161 in a thick layer of health. 175 00:05:42,239 --> 00:05:44,997 Good, 'cause my flan reveal is at lunch tomorrow, 176 00:05:45,092 --> 00:05:47,351 and I need you at full eating strength. 177 00:05:47,578 --> 00:05:49,186 Oh, hey. Slippity Dips is starting. 178 00:05:49,337 --> 00:05:50,670 In our first slippity clip, 179 00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:52,931 a mailman named Floyd makes a... 180 00:05:53,025 --> 00:05:54,749 -Floyd-ian slip. -[yells] -[laughing] 181 00:05:54,768 --> 00:05:56,693 [laughs, groaning] 182 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,921 -Oh... uh, Dad? -Dad, we really should get you to the doctor. 183 00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:01,031 Like, now. 184 00:06:01,182 --> 00:06:02,181 [strained] Nonsense. 185 00:06:02,201 --> 00:06:03,258 In this next slip, 186 00:06:03,351 --> 00:06:05,369 a child falls in a ravine. 187 00:06:05,596 --> 00:06:06,611 In a funny way. 188 00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:08,146 [laughs] Ow! 189 00:06:08,298 --> 00:06:10,165 [strained laughing] 190 00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:14,436 Guys, I'm hella worried about Dad. 191 00:06:14,454 --> 00:06:15,528 I googled his symptoms, 192 00:06:15,547 --> 00:06:17,439 and it could be anything from muscle spasm 193 00:06:17,532 --> 00:06:20,384 to a heart attack to something called "haunted pancreas." 194 00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:22,277 I'm worried, too, but it's impossible 195 00:06:22,295 --> 00:06:23,720 to get that man to a doctor. 196 00:06:23,872 --> 00:06:26,114 Remember when one of his feet faced the wrong way 197 00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:27,115 for, like, a year? 198 00:06:27,134 --> 00:06:28,541 Of course. I had to tie the boot 199 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,376 on the backwards one every morning. 200 00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:32,137 But this isn't gonna be like that, 201 00:06:32,289 --> 00:06:33,546 because I have a plan. 202 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,957 It's not just giving him compliments, is it? 203 00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:37,717 Yeah, there'll be a little of that, sure. 204 00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:38,960 But here's what we do: 205 00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:41,554 we give him the doctor exam sneaky-style, 206 00:06:41,648 --> 00:06:42,572 right here at home. 207 00:06:42,649 --> 00:06:44,557 Fun. Dibs on nodding reassuringly 208 00:06:44,635 --> 00:06:46,301 while listening through a stethoscope. 209 00:06:46,394 --> 00:06:49,228 Okay, Operation HPV is a go-- 210 00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,581 Heal Papa Victoriously. 211 00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:53,642 Love the plan, hate the name. 212 00:06:53,776 --> 00:06:54,976 All right, hands in. 213 00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:56,253 H-P... 214 00:06:56,404 --> 00:06:58,070 Oh, it's just gonna be me? 215 00:06:58,090 --> 00:06:59,339 Fine. V! 216 00:07:02,819 --> 00:07:05,503 Okay, here he comes. Time to get into our dad's body. 217 00:07:05,656 --> 00:07:07,264 Oh, my God. It's like you've never heard 218 00:07:07,491 --> 00:07:08,765 -a word you've said. -[door closes] 219 00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:11,009 [strained] Mm, mm, mm-hmm. 220 00:07:11,103 --> 00:07:12,460 Mm. [grunting] 221 00:07:12,462 --> 00:07:14,012 Oh. Hello, Father. 222 00:07:14,106 --> 00:07:15,513 How was work this morning? 223 00:07:15,607 --> 00:07:16,681 Good haul? 224 00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:18,591 -Kill a lot of fish? -Mm-hmm. 225 00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:19,834 Cool, cool. 226 00:07:19,928 --> 00:07:22,112 And, uh, brisk wind out on the sea? 227 00:07:22,339 --> 00:07:23,947 Any difficulty breathing? 228 00:07:24,098 --> 00:07:25,173 The breathing was... 229 00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:26,858 [wheezes] great. 230 00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:28,009 Oh, Dad, uh, 231 00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:29,678 just, uh, wondering, 232 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:30,862 when you hauled the fish in, 233 00:07:31,031 --> 00:07:33,181 which of these faces did you feel like? 234 00:07:33,274 --> 00:07:35,441 None. Those guys are all hotter than me. 235 00:07:35,461 --> 00:07:36,518 Uh, okay... 236 00:07:36,611 --> 00:07:37,519 [Moon groans] 237 00:07:37,537 --> 00:07:39,204 Guys, I've got a big problem. 238 00:07:39,356 --> 00:07:40,947 I have a project for science class, 239 00:07:40,966 --> 00:07:43,208 and the topic is older men's urine. 240 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,876 I remember that unit. 241 00:07:45,028 --> 00:07:47,620 But I forgot to collect an older man's pee. 242 00:07:47,714 --> 00:07:48,863 Damn it. [groans] 243 00:07:48,957 --> 00:07:50,456 Guess I'll just fail. 244 00:07:50,476 --> 00:07:51,366 That sucks. 245 00:07:51,459 --> 00:07:52,809 Unless... 246 00:07:53,036 --> 00:07:56,128 Dad, could you pee in this cup and then write your name on it? 247 00:07:56,148 --> 00:07:58,482 And then seal it? And then write today's date? 248 00:07:58,709 --> 00:07:59,799 And then give it back to me? 249 00:07:59,876 --> 00:08:01,376 I'll surely get an A. 250 00:08:01,469 --> 00:08:04,045 Yeah, with Dad's pee in your pocket, you can't lose. 251 00:08:04,214 --> 00:08:06,973 Gentlemen, I was not birthed yesterday. 252 00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:09,400 I see that you three are trying to give me 253 00:08:09,495 --> 00:08:12,387 some kind of at-home doctor's exam. 254 00:08:12,389 --> 00:08:15,724 Geez, Dad, all we asked for was a little bit of pee 255 00:08:15,742 --> 00:08:17,650 and suddenly we lose all trust? 256 00:08:17,744 --> 00:08:18,910 Son, cut it out. 257 00:08:19,004 --> 00:08:20,895 My body is private, even to myself. 258 00:08:20,989 --> 00:08:24,249 That's why there's a curtain around it called "my skin." 259 00:08:24,401 --> 00:08:26,584 -But, Dad, you really should-- -Put your "but, Dad" 260 00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:27,902 in your butt, son. 261 00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:29,587 Can no one hear themselves? 262 00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:31,848 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head back 263 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,758 to Mother Pipe for another sip. 264 00:08:33,910 --> 00:08:37,095 But, Dad, my flan debuts at the restaurant today at lunch. 265 00:08:37,247 --> 00:08:38,747 You promised to go. 266 00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,190 I'll meet you there at noo... 267 00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:42,083 [groaning] 268 00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:43,268 [whimpers] 269 00:08:43,362 --> 00:08:44,027 ...oon. 270 00:08:44,254 --> 00:08:46,437 [pained grunting] 271 00:08:46,514 --> 00:08:49,274 Should we just take his pee by force? 272 00:08:49,426 --> 00:08:51,535 Damn it. If we can't get Dad to a doctor, 273 00:08:51,686 --> 00:08:53,278 maybe we can get a doctor to Dad. 274 00:08:53,354 --> 00:08:57,207 Yep. One way or another, we have got to push those D's together. 275 00:08:57,358 --> 00:08:59,042 Okay, now I'm doing it. 276 00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:01,193 [Honeybee] All right, we know that Wife's grave 277 00:09:01,288 --> 00:09:02,771 is from 1888. 278 00:09:02,789 --> 00:09:05,106 And it says here that some very unprepared British settlers 279 00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:07,092 came here to join some other European idiots 280 00:09:07,201 --> 00:09:08,218 around that time. 281 00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:09,869 Yeah, dumb white people 282 00:09:09,888 --> 00:09:11,946 was definitely the early Lone Moose vibe. 283 00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,616 Ugh, but she could be any of these smoking '80s babes. 284 00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:16,393 How do I match a face with a grave? 285 00:09:16,544 --> 00:09:18,044 Well, maybe we should just give up 286 00:09:18,138 --> 00:09:20,805 and go over to Ham's big flan menu reveal? 287 00:09:20,899 --> 00:09:24,383 I mean, maybe one of these gals wasn't as dumb as the others. 288 00:09:24,403 --> 00:09:27,312 Maybe she was actually a big-city girl from London 289 00:09:27,406 --> 00:09:29,221 and her name was something like... 290 00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:30,648 Persephogenia Lumpnobble. 291 00:09:30,817 --> 00:09:33,076 And she was an associate professor of squalor studies 292 00:09:33,227 --> 00:09:34,469 who'd come to do research. 293 00:09:34,471 --> 00:09:35,486 Now, back then, 294 00:09:35,639 --> 00:09:37,080 most of the dumb European settlers 295 00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:39,749 lived in holes in a big old mud and poop lake. 296 00:09:39,976 --> 00:09:41,976 Mm, such wonderful squalor. 297 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:45,330 It's wall-to-wall squall around here. 298 00:09:45,424 --> 00:09:47,073 [Honeybee] They weren't used to strangers in Lone Moose, 299 00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:50,076 so this beauty stood out like a ravishing thumb. 300 00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,320 And then a squalid but handsome gentleman 301 00:09:52,339 --> 00:09:54,339 extended his dirty hand to her. 302 00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:56,007 Wa-wa-wee-wa. 303 00:09:56,101 --> 00:09:57,416 Pardon me, ma'am. I can tell 304 00:09:57,436 --> 00:09:58,843 by how little dirt you have in your teeth 305 00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:00,662 that you're not from around here. 306 00:10:00,664 --> 00:10:03,106 Might I take you on a tour of our nasty neighborhood? 307 00:10:03,257 --> 00:10:05,108 This is our pile of dead animals. 308 00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:07,277 This is our pile of dead people. 309 00:10:07,428 --> 00:10:08,928 And this is our playground. 310 00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:13,174 I have an idea that could change things for all of you. 311 00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:15,343 It's a reverse hole above the ground, 312 00:10:15,362 --> 00:10:17,269 and we call it "a house." 313 00:10:17,289 --> 00:10:18,604 [Honeybee] And maybe 314 00:10:18,698 --> 00:10:21,182 Persephogenia taught all the dum-dums about houses 315 00:10:21,201 --> 00:10:22,942 and they stopped living in holes. 316 00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:24,535 And she was about to return to London 317 00:10:24,688 --> 00:10:26,537 when the townie did something super romantic. 318 00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:29,190 Miss Clean Lady, I want you to have this. 319 00:10:29,209 --> 00:10:31,968 It's a hideous corn husk doll I made for you. 320 00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:34,620 Ma'am, mightn't we become betrothed in wedlock 321 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,532 and grow to the ripe old age of 35 together? 322 00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:38,700 [Honeybee] And she said yes. 323 00:10:38,793 --> 00:10:39,976 And then one day they went 324 00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,220 to a beaver corpse baseball game, and... 325 00:10:42,314 --> 00:10:44,314 -[all gasp] -Aah! -...she died. 326 00:10:44,465 --> 00:10:46,465 And because the nasty Townie never learned her name, 327 00:10:46,485 --> 00:10:48,151 he paid a local child in tobacco 328 00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:50,320 to just chisel "Wife" on her headstone. 329 00:10:50,547 --> 00:10:52,155 And then, I guess, everyone forgot about her 330 00:10:52,382 --> 00:10:54,732 and her contributions, including her friend Veronica. 331 00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:56,217 [Judy] Oof. Poor 332 00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,643 Persephogenia Lumpnobble. 333 00:10:57,737 --> 00:10:59,721 And poor us, 'cause we still don't have any answers. 334 00:10:59,739 --> 00:11:02,740 But I'm thinking maybe we should check the old census records 335 00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,150 at the historical society. 336 00:11:04,227 --> 00:11:07,153 Oh, wow, I'm excited. You guys excited? 337 00:11:07,172 --> 00:11:08,730 I'm just kidding. Let's go. 338 00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:11,065 Thanks for wearing the disguise, Dr. Callahan. 339 00:11:11,084 --> 00:11:13,584 It'll help us get you close enough to Dad to examine him. 340 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,087 Sure. I mean, I mostly do this kind of thing for kids 341 00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:17,514 who are scared of the doctor. 342 00:11:17,665 --> 00:11:20,850 And also, pirate meetups, and once in my private life, 343 00:11:21,002 --> 00:11:22,334 -but I'm happy to help. -Great. 344 00:11:22,354 --> 00:11:23,928 We really don't want our dad to die. 345 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,189 I'm not ready to be the Tobin patriarch yet. 346 00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:27,932 I don't even know when trash day is. 347 00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:30,476 So, here's the plan: approach the table, 348 00:11:30,529 --> 00:11:32,028 claim to be a fellow sea captain-- 349 00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:34,572 which Dad'll love 'cause he's a real captain hound-- 350 00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:37,183 then give him a long hug and listen to his heart. 351 00:11:37,202 --> 00:11:40,203 Bada-bing, bada-boom, you diagnose our dad. 352 00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,113 What the... 353 00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:43,264 [humming a tune] 354 00:11:43,266 --> 00:11:45,099 [laughs] Hello, boys. 355 00:11:45,118 --> 00:11:46,284 Guess who's all better. 356 00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:48,545 For real this time, and I am not lying. 357 00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:52,031 Enter, and let us celebrate your brother's flan. 358 00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:55,443 Our father sucked upon a pipe and he hath been healed. 359 00:11:55,536 --> 00:11:57,095 Hallelujah. 360 00:12:01,042 --> 00:12:03,284 So, you really feel all better? 361 00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:05,286 [Beef] Yep. Pardon me for starting without you, 362 00:12:05,305 --> 00:12:07,731 but I haven't been able to eat much the past few days. 363 00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:11,642 My fettuccine Alfredo levels had gotten dangerously low. 364 00:12:11,737 --> 00:12:13,570 So, you have, like, no pain 365 00:12:13,721 --> 00:12:15,480 -at all? -Nope. 366 00:12:15,574 --> 00:12:18,074 [pirate accent]: Hello there, friends. I'm a ship's captain 367 00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:21,578 blowing through town with me, uh, cargo. 368 00:12:21,747 --> 00:12:23,246 May I give you a hug? 369 00:12:23,473 --> 00:12:25,248 [laughs] Hello, Dr. Callahan. 370 00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,976 Let me guess-- my boys asked you to come down here 371 00:12:28,069 --> 00:12:29,994 and sneakily give me a checkup? 372 00:12:30,088 --> 00:12:31,813 [regular accent]: Argh, you caught me. 373 00:12:31,906 --> 00:12:33,239 They're worried about you, Beef. 374 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,591 Actually, Doc, he feels all better. 375 00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:37,001 Okay, well, there are some serious conditions 376 00:12:37,095 --> 00:12:38,261 that can come and go, 377 00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:39,763 -namely gall-- -Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. 378 00:12:39,914 --> 00:12:42,840 This is a restaurant, not a medicine class. 379 00:12:42,993 --> 00:12:44,993 I'm here celebrate my son's success 380 00:12:45,011 --> 00:12:47,270 in the Lone Moose culinary scene. 381 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:48,605 But the pain in your back and chest-- 382 00:12:48,756 --> 00:12:52,500 Uh-uh. Life is a mystery, and no spoilers, please. 383 00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:54,093 -Beef, but it could be-- -No. You know what? 384 00:12:54,187 --> 00:12:56,337 If you won't leave me alone, then I'll leave you alone. 385 00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:58,114 I'm gonna snow machine home. 386 00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:01,843 Come along, potato, I shall be devouring you on the way. 387 00:13:01,936 --> 00:13:04,436 But Dad, my flan! My big day. 388 00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,790 I love you, son. Bring me home a piece. 389 00:13:06,866 --> 00:13:09,608 [mutters] Stupid doctor doesn't know what he's talking about. 390 00:13:09,702 --> 00:13:11,519 Nothing wrong with me. I've never felt better. 391 00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:13,946 Aah! My heart! 392 00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:16,357 Aah! My potato! 393 00:13:16,376 --> 00:13:18,359 Aah! 394 00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:20,545 [grunts, groans] Can't move. 395 00:13:20,639 --> 00:13:23,139 I'm so sorry, potato. 396 00:13:23,366 --> 00:13:24,882 [Honeybee] Huh, maybe 397 00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:26,142 this is something. Says here 398 00:13:26,369 --> 00:13:28,536 there was a log-rolling competition in 1888, 399 00:13:28,629 --> 00:13:30,129 but only men were allowed to enter. 400 00:13:30,223 --> 00:13:31,630 That's something I'll never say. 401 00:13:31,650 --> 00:13:33,558 Still, you got to wonder, what if there was one woman 402 00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,726 who did try to enter? Let's say she married a man 403 00:13:35,821 --> 00:13:38,655 who worked at the mill. And maybe this lady was gifted 404 00:13:38,806 --> 00:13:41,473 with log-rolling abilities. See, this wife had been born 405 00:13:41,568 --> 00:13:43,401 on a log in the middle of the Mighty Mississipp, 406 00:13:43,495 --> 00:13:44,735 and she could spin 407 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:46,904 that wily wood like she was hanging a drape. 408 00:13:47,057 --> 00:13:48,498 And she was so talented, it caught on, 409 00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:51,059 and everybody in Lone Moose wanted to learn 410 00:13:51,152 --> 00:13:52,669 and be just like her. 411 00:13:52,745 --> 00:13:55,688 It became so popular, they decided to have a competition. 412 00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:57,674 But wouldn't you know it, they made a rule that women 413 00:13:57,825 --> 00:13:59,342 couldn't compete, even though this wife 414 00:13:59,493 --> 00:14:00,659 started the whole damn thing. 415 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:01,903 So she taught her husband 416 00:14:01,905 --> 00:14:03,421 everything she knew, and he won. 417 00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:06,924 And then people started saying he taught her to log-roll. 418 00:14:07,077 --> 00:14:08,500 And of course he took credit for it, 419 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,428 'cause taking credit for stuff is fun. 420 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:12,171 Wife decided to prove herself by getting out there 421 00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,524 on the river, and she was absolutely incredible. 422 00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:18,344 But then, a big wave washed her out to sea. 423 00:14:18,363 --> 00:14:21,923 And she danced on that log for months, waiting for help. 424 00:14:22,016 --> 00:14:23,533 And then, sadly, she got run over 425 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,943 -Aah! -by the Titanic, and she died. 426 00:14:26,096 --> 00:14:27,871 [Dirt] Man, that Titanic couldn't do anything right. 427 00:14:28,022 --> 00:14:30,448 [Honeybee] And her husband felt so bad about stealing 428 00:14:30,617 --> 00:14:31,949 her log-thunder, he couldn't bear 429 00:14:32,102 --> 00:14:33,751 to even see her beautiful name, so he put "Wife" 430 00:14:33,861 --> 00:14:37,380 on her grave and then he exploded from grief. 431 00:14:38,274 --> 00:14:40,383 And with him died the last memory of her, 432 00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:43,035 even though she was an absolute boss. 433 00:14:43,204 --> 00:14:45,221 That's clearly what happened. Let's go eat. 434 00:14:45,331 --> 00:14:49,041 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and flan to my mouth. 435 00:14:49,135 --> 00:14:52,120 Dust. Sawdust. The old Lone Moose Mill. 436 00:14:52,138 --> 00:14:54,046 We should go over there and check the employee records. 437 00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:56,307 Oh, right. Almost everyone and their child 438 00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:57,975 worked at the mill back in the day. 439 00:14:58,128 --> 00:14:59,627 Not me. I was foreman at the quarry 440 00:14:59,646 --> 00:15:01,053 all through middle school. 441 00:15:01,147 --> 00:15:03,573 Ten cents more an hour and all the gravel you could eat. 442 00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:06,892 [groaning] 443 00:15:06,912 --> 00:15:07,911 Missing... 444 00:15:08,138 --> 00:15:10,321 ooh, precious... 445 00:15:10,473 --> 00:15:12,323 m-moments. 446 00:15:12,475 --> 00:15:13,917 Dying. [grunts] 447 00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:15,326 Ooh, ooh, my phone. 448 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:16,661 [strains] 449 00:15:16,755 --> 00:15:18,904 Ooh. Must crawl. 450 00:15:18,998 --> 00:15:21,332 [straining] 451 00:15:21,426 --> 00:15:23,909 -[phone rings] -No, no. Decline. Damn it. 452 00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:25,577 -No. [moans] -Hey, it's me, Londra. 453 00:15:25,672 --> 00:15:27,764 Okay, so Beef, you're not gonna believe this. 454 00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:29,991 -Nuh... -Dusty and I were in Anchorage this morning, 455 00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:31,601 food shopping for her birthday dinner, 456 00:15:31,752 --> 00:15:33,661 and the Anchorage Food Otter has watermelons. 457 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,422 -[groans] Oh... -No, that's not the crazy part. 458 00:15:36,441 --> 00:15:39,943 We cut the watermelon open, and inside? A set of keys! 459 00:15:40,094 --> 00:15:42,019 [moaning] Oh... 460 00:15:42,113 --> 00:15:44,113 -Londra... -Oh, my God, Beef, 461 00:15:44,265 --> 00:15:46,507 Dusty found a Bratz doll in there, too. 462 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,100 I'd love to chat more, 463 00:15:48,194 --> 00:15:50,662 but I got a lot more people to call. Bye! 464 00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:56,200 ♪ ♪ 465 00:15:56,294 --> 00:15:57,185 Uh-oh. 466 00:15:57,203 --> 00:16:00,037 Hello, anyone? Am I... 467 00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:01,539 Oh, it's you. Hey, Dennis. 468 00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:02,781 Oh, you remembered my name. 469 00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:04,525 Yes, it's me. Your heart. 470 00:16:04,544 --> 00:16:05,693 Wassup? 471 00:16:05,786 --> 00:16:07,470 Oh, God. If you're here, you're gonna tell me 472 00:16:07,621 --> 00:16:09,213 something's wrong with my heart, right? 473 00:16:09,307 --> 00:16:10,473 That's why I've been having the chest pain? 474 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,383 What? I'm offended. I'm in incredible shape. 475 00:16:12,477 --> 00:16:15,386 I'm a heart and yet, somehow, I have abs. 476 00:16:15,538 --> 00:16:16,962 -Wow. -Yeah, your lifestyle 477 00:16:17,056 --> 00:16:18,889 of constant physical activity, heavy meats 478 00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,209 and relentless stress keeps me very strong. 479 00:16:21,302 --> 00:16:23,728 Good to know, but what is wrong with me? 480 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,047 I have been in a lot of pain. 481 00:16:26,065 --> 00:16:27,991 I can't diagnose you. A doctor should do that. 482 00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:30,476 Which is why I'm here. I want to know why on Earth 483 00:16:30,495 --> 00:16:32,903 you won't go see a flipping' doctor, my man. 484 00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,572 I... I'm afraid. 485 00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:36,390 'Cause what if it's something really bad 486 00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:39,151 and then I die and leave the kids behind? 487 00:16:39,245 --> 00:16:40,837 Wait, what? We die? 488 00:16:41,064 --> 00:16:44,065 Yes, I'll die someday, and you'll die with me. 489 00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:45,583 What the hell, man? This ends?! 490 00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:47,735 The brain didn't say anything about that to me. 491 00:16:47,754 --> 00:16:49,345 Sorry. I-I assumed you knew. 492 00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:52,015 Uh, no, I did not know. I'm just a heart, man. 493 00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,500 -I can't think on my own. -Apologies again. 494 00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:56,244 But yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. 495 00:16:56,262 --> 00:16:58,670 That I'll see the doctor and he'll say I'm about to die, 496 00:16:58,765 --> 00:17:00,005 and then I'll have to live a little longer 497 00:17:00,025 --> 00:17:01,858 knowing I'm gonna leave these amazing kids 498 00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:04,919 and all the weird things they do that I love so much behind. 499 00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:08,698 Also, trees and rocks and mountains and Andie MacDowell? 500 00:17:08,849 --> 00:17:11,850 God, there's so much good stuff here, I don't want to leave. 501 00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:13,261 Well, then, what are you doing, man? 502 00:17:13,279 --> 00:17:14,595 Go to a doctor now. 503 00:17:14,688 --> 00:17:16,447 -You're right, I should save us. -Yes. 504 00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:18,099 If I don't do the thing I'm afraid of 505 00:17:18,192 --> 00:17:20,618 then the thing I'm really afraid of will happen. 506 00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:21,952 Yes, let's not die. 507 00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:23,604 We have so much to look forward to. 508 00:17:23,697 --> 00:17:25,956 I have a date with a teacher from Ohio on Thursday. 509 00:17:26,109 --> 00:17:27,699 -Wait, how? -Well, I met her... 510 00:17:27,719 --> 00:17:31,112 Ugh, no time. Good God, Beef, do something now. 511 00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:33,473 Okay, okay. I will. 512 00:17:34,617 --> 00:17:35,783 [grunts] 513 00:17:35,802 --> 00:17:38,895 Boys! Dr. Callahan! 514 00:17:39,122 --> 00:17:40,379 Is that Dad? 515 00:17:40,398 --> 00:17:42,456 I need help! 516 00:17:42,550 --> 00:17:46,778 Pull back my body curtain and look inside. 517 00:17:48,147 --> 00:17:49,480 [Honeybee] Hi. 518 00:17:49,632 --> 00:17:51,299 We were wondering if you had employment records 519 00:17:51,392 --> 00:17:54,226 -from the 1880s. -I'm sorry, the mill has burned down 520 00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:55,894 and been rebuilt since then. 521 00:17:55,972 --> 00:17:58,247 -47 times. -Damn it! 522 00:17:59,084 --> 00:18:00,583 -[sighs] -Well, Honeybee, 523 00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:02,067 you did all you could. 524 00:18:02,236 --> 00:18:04,645 Maybe it's just time to let a sleeping corpse lie. 525 00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:06,238 No, we can't give up. 526 00:18:06,332 --> 00:18:08,316 Why is this bothering you so much? 527 00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:09,741 I just... I mean, what if this lady 528 00:18:09,836 --> 00:18:11,168 came all the way from Fresno? 529 00:18:11,262 --> 00:18:13,003 You know, 'cause she fell in love with a guy she met 530 00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:15,823 in an 1800s Morse code chat room or, uh, something, 531 00:18:15,842 --> 00:18:19,510 and it seemed like a good idea but then she... she just died. 532 00:18:19,604 --> 00:18:21,329 And then everybody forgot who she was. 533 00:18:21,347 --> 00:18:22,830 -The end. -Okay, Honeybee, wait, 534 00:18:22,849 --> 00:18:25,833 you don't think you're like this dead lady, do you? 535 00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:28,427 Maybe. Ugh. My dumb friend Veronica 536 00:18:28,521 --> 00:18:31,689 said I gave up my life and followed a guy to Alaska. 537 00:18:31,841 --> 00:18:33,616 Am I just a wife? 538 00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:34,859 Honeybee, come on. 539 00:18:35,011 --> 00:18:36,527 You're already a legend in Lone Moose. 540 00:18:36,621 --> 00:18:38,512 You've been mayor, you got attacked by an eagle, 541 00:18:38,531 --> 00:18:40,364 you got in a slap fight with a drifter. 542 00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:43,351 If anything, Wolf should be afraid he's gonna end up 543 00:18:43,369 --> 00:18:44,702 in a grave just marked "Husband." 544 00:18:44,796 --> 00:18:46,963 And you should make sure he does, as a goof. 545 00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:49,039 Poor Wife. I guess the least we can do 546 00:18:49,192 --> 00:18:50,282 is lay some flowers on her grave. 547 00:18:50,301 --> 00:18:52,334 And a pepperoni pizza. 548 00:18:52,487 --> 00:18:53,527 I mean, sure? 549 00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:55,454 Have you had a pepperoni pizza before? 550 00:18:55,473 --> 00:18:58,975 They're amazing. It's a beautiful gesture. 551 00:18:59,202 --> 00:19:02,645 There you go, Wife. Enjoy your pizza. 552 00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:04,671 Wait, what's that? 553 00:19:04,673 --> 00:19:06,816 [Judy] "Bartholomew Wife"? 554 00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,985 Hold up. "Wife" is a last name? 555 00:19:09,061 --> 00:19:11,821 "Manifred Wife, pronounced, 'Wee-Fay,' 556 00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:14,048 "was also known as Manifred the Maniac. 557 00:19:14,066 --> 00:19:16,492 "Manifred Wife was a prolific murderer 558 00:19:16,644 --> 00:19:19,403 who killed 17 people including her husband Bartholomew." 559 00:19:19,555 --> 00:19:22,056 -Whoa. -So, she wasn't just a wife. 560 00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:23,741 Good for you. 561 00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:25,226 [Beef] My gallbladder, huh? 562 00:19:25,244 --> 00:19:28,062 Yep. You got some pretty sizable stones in there. 563 00:19:28,231 --> 00:19:29,430 Hell yeah he does. 564 00:19:29,432 --> 00:19:31,490 Dad's 'blad makes some sick stones. 565 00:19:31,509 --> 00:19:33,567 The pain can come and go with eating, 566 00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:36,420 but we'll remove it today and you're as free as a bird. 567 00:19:36,572 --> 00:19:38,514 I have my Lil Preppers surgery badge, Doc. 568 00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:39,849 I can scrub in if needed. 569 00:19:40,076 --> 00:19:41,667 Won't be necessary for this one, Moon. 570 00:19:41,761 --> 00:19:43,761 But I do have a spinal surgery on Thursday 571 00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:45,188 I wouldn't mind a consult on. 572 00:19:45,339 --> 00:19:48,265 Uh, I'll have to move some things around, but I'm in. 573 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,693 Dad, we're real proud of you for finally asking for help 574 00:19:50,844 --> 00:19:52,862 from a doctor who isn't a pipe on a hill. 575 00:19:53,013 --> 00:19:54,864 And, uh, maybe you could, uh, do it again-- 576 00:19:55,091 --> 00:19:56,866 the seeing a doctor thing-- 'cause of how we want you 577 00:19:57,093 --> 00:19:58,201 to be alive? 578 00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:01,095 -Sorry to be pushy. -No, Ham, you're right. 579 00:20:01,188 --> 00:20:04,265 I promise, from now on, I'll get an annual physical, 580 00:20:04,358 --> 00:20:06,542 every five to six years or so. 581 00:20:06,769 --> 00:20:07,710 [Wolf] That's a start. 582 00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:09,712 Vaya con dad-os, gallbladder. 583 00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:12,715 You're gonna be all right. 584 00:20:13,718 --> 00:20:14,884 [Honeybee] What the hell? 585 00:20:15,111 --> 00:20:16,719 You all have gravestones already? 586 00:20:16,888 --> 00:20:18,537 Yes, a few years ago, I got a deal 587 00:20:18,556 --> 00:20:21,873 on some granite and, uh, well, one thing led to another. 588 00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:25,135 Speaking of which... Honeybee, a little bird named Judy told me 589 00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:27,788 that you were kind of worried about ending up like old Wife, 590 00:20:27,807 --> 00:20:31,459 which inspired me to get you this stone stunner. 591 00:20:31,477 --> 00:20:32,551 [Honeybee] You picked a death year? 592 00:20:32,570 --> 00:20:34,761 You'll be 220 years old, so it's cool. 593 00:20:34,814 --> 00:20:37,147 And it also has all kinds of facts about you on it, 594 00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:40,150 like that you're a Shrek-thusiast, an entrepreneur. 595 00:20:40,245 --> 00:20:42,319 Plus, lots of space to add anything else as it comes along. 596 00:20:42,472 --> 00:20:45,081 Like if you suddenly get super into Dave Matthews Band. 597 00:20:45,232 --> 00:20:46,824 Wolf, this is deeply unsettling. 598 00:20:46,918 --> 00:20:48,809 But also kind of touching, I guess. 599 00:20:48,828 --> 00:20:50,569 All right, enough grave-gazing. 600 00:20:50,588 --> 00:20:53,256 Let's head in for dinner. Now that my G-blad is out, 601 00:20:53,332 --> 00:20:54,906 fatty foods are my friend again, 602 00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:57,318 and I made my famous five-butters casserole. 603 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,336 Dibs on a corner piece. 604 00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:01,747 [Dirt] ♪ Hey, there, lady, sitting and pouting ♪ 605 00:21:01,766 --> 00:21:04,082 ♪ Hey, there, woman, just a-sitting and a-doubting ♪ 606 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,993 ♪ I think you're perfect within and without and hey ♪ 607 00:21:06,086 --> 00:21:07,995 ♪ Get onto my log ♪ 608 00:21:07,997 --> 00:21:11,941 ♪ Oh, when we're on the log, our worries cannot find us ♪ 609 00:21:12,092 --> 00:21:16,353 ♪ A stump beneath our feet, the past so far behind us ♪ 610 00:21:16,447 --> 00:21:18,764 ♪ Spinning down the river, footloose and fancy-free ♪ 611 00:21:18,783 --> 00:21:20,858 ♪ Am I the log or is she me? ♪ 612 00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:22,526 ♪ Birch or elm, maple or sycamore ♪ 613 00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:25,270 ♪ I like to hop on with a gal or two or four ♪ 614 00:21:25,290 --> 00:21:27,272 ♪ Let's take our log to Paris or the Jersey Shore ♪ 615 00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:29,625 ♪ Hey, get onto my log. ♪ 616 00:21:29,777 --> 00:21:31,519 [boat horn blows] 617 00:21:31,537 --> 00:21:33,629 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 618 00:21:33,781 --> 00:21:35,131 and TOYOTA.