1
00:00:01,577 --> 00:00:04,228
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,321 --> 00:00:05,579
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:05,731 --> 00:00:07,080
-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,916
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:10,085 --> 00:00:13,512
♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
6
00:00:13,739 --> 00:00:14,680
♪ Catch some fish ♪
7
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:16,423
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
8
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,516
♪ Wow ♪
9
00:00:17,743 --> 00:00:21,094
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,337
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
11
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,005
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
12
00:00:24,099 --> 00:00:25,582
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
13
00:00:25,675 --> 00:00:29,445
♪ In the Great North. ♪
14
00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:33,532
[cheering]
15
00:00:36,595 --> 00:00:38,853
Well, look
what the carp dragged in.
16
00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:40,205
Very late to moms night.
17
00:00:40,432 --> 00:00:42,207
We were gonna send out
the coast guard.
18
00:00:42,359 --> 00:00:43,950
And the sex guard.
Cause of how...
19
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,787
we thought you were--
you know... [grunting]
20
00:00:46,939 --> 00:00:49,214
Are you doing a thumbs-up
to mean sex?
21
00:00:49,441 --> 00:00:51,291
Is this better? Mm! Mm! Mm!
22
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:52,943
No.
Cease and desist immediately
23
00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:55,537
-whatever that is.
-And where were
you honeymooners--
24
00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:57,281
sex trapeze workshop?
25
00:00:57,283 --> 00:00:58,540
Cozy booth at Olive Garden,
26
00:00:58,634 --> 00:01:01,510
each breadstick more suggestive
than the last?
27
00:01:01,637 --> 00:01:03,787
Actually, we were just
watching TV--
28
00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:05,455
-Mm! Mm! Mm!
-put those thumbs down, Marie--
and dozed off
29
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:08,642
during a marathon
of Kenai Chimney Clean-Outs.
30
00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:11,795
-That better be the name
of a filthy pornography.
-It is not.
31
00:01:11,888 --> 00:01:15,390
Though Kenai Chimney Clean-Outs
can be pretty scandalous.
32
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:17,392
Yeah. Oh, Beef, tell them
about the guy
33
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,152
who found 45 rats
in his chimney.
34
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,489
Uh, a guy found 45 rats
in his chimney.
35
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,142
Nice. I'm gonna go put
these drinks in the fridge.
36
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,419
Hey. What's the deal,
lumber-crack?
37
00:01:27,646 --> 00:01:29,646
You reeled in
an absolute catch like Carissa
38
00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:32,149
and you're not even taking
her ass on dates?
39
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:34,000
Whoa, whoa, we've been on dates.
40
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,486
-Well, one date.
We went to Maude's--
-Maude's?
41
00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:37,671
Maude's is not romantic.
42
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,582
The bathroom is visible
from every single table.
43
00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:41,767
But Carissa hasn't asked--
44
00:01:41,994 --> 00:01:43,160
Ugh! Women don't want to
45
00:01:43,178 --> 00:01:44,603
have to ask for romance.
46
00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,606
But deep down, we all want to be
whisked away on special dates.
47
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:50,609
Like when Jamie buys me
a variety of Trader Joe's dips,
48
00:01:50,794 --> 00:01:52,002
rents a river gondola,
49
00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,838
and serenades me for hours
with his flute.
50
00:01:54,857 --> 00:01:56,356
I don't know
how to play the flute.
51
00:01:56,508 --> 00:01:58,433
Well, not everybody can be Jaime
but you'll figure it out.
52
00:01:58,527 --> 00:02:00,953
I mean, one of the main reasons
Carissa and Ken split up
53
00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:03,029
was 'cause
he never took her out.
54
00:02:03,182 --> 00:02:04,439
She hasn't mentioned that.
55
00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,608
And we've only really been
dating for a month.
56
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,201
A month is a long time.
57
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,777
Think of all the frisky Fridays
58
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,538
and sexy Saturdays
you've wasted.
59
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:14,115
You owe her four weekends
worth of date nights,
60
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,542
plus interest
for being an idiot.
61
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,302
You have two jobs
in this relationship:
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00:02:17,529 --> 00:02:20,305
making Carissa feel special
and reaching high shelves.
63
00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:22,123
You're definitely
not doing the first one.
64
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,533
Not even the first one, Beef.
65
00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:24,959
And I don't know
about the second one
66
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,219
'cause I'm not usually
around you guys
67
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,795
when you're near shelves.
68
00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:29,148
She could dump your ass
at any time
69
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,316
for a stepladder
and a tab of Ecstasy.
70
00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:33,226
And I've got one of those
in my garage
71
00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:34,820
and the other one
in my brassiere.
72
00:02:34,971 --> 00:02:36,304
Preach, Dorothy.
73
00:02:36,398 --> 00:02:37,656
Hmm.
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00:02:37,807 --> 00:02:38,973
CARISSA:
Thanks for the ride.
75
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,808
You want to come over Saturday?
76
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,661
I know we'll have 18 hours
of summer sunlight
77
00:02:42,738 --> 00:02:44,554
and should enjoy that, but...
78
00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:46,147
they're doing a Chimney Sweepers
marathon called
79
00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:47,891
"Oops. All Cave-Ins."
80
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,409
Well, um, I was thinking,
81
00:02:49,561 --> 00:02:52,153
would you want to do something
a little more date-y?
82
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,413
I don't know, eat off a table
83
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,990
instead of plates
balanced on our laps?
84
00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:57,342
Oh.
Uh... Yeah.
85
00:02:57,494 --> 00:03:00,345
I didn't think that
romantic stuff was your style.
86
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:01,421
But sure.
87
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,756
I wouldn't mind
being wined, dined,
88
00:03:02,908 --> 00:03:03,924
and seventy-nined.
89
00:03:04,076 --> 00:03:05,350
That's my average bowling score.
90
00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:06,927
All right,
then I will see you Saturday.
91
00:03:07,079 --> 00:03:08,836
It's a date. Oh, wait,
you want to come in
92
00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:10,338
for a quick...
Er-er, er-er, er-er?
93
00:03:10,432 --> 00:03:12,265
Oh, hell yeah.
I'm no fool.
94
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,433
All right,
95
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:15,194
what do we think
of my date outfit--
96
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,695
does it scream "romance"?
97
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:19,013
It screams
"shirt and khaki pants."
98
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,274
In Alaska, anything
without blood or dirt on it
99
00:03:21,427 --> 00:03:23,035
is legally a tuxedo.
100
00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:25,871
You look unreal, Dad.
Scha-wing!
101
00:03:26,022 --> 00:03:27,264
Babe, calm down.
102
00:03:27,282 --> 00:03:28,707
It is about time
you took Carissa out, Beef.
103
00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:30,934
Personally, I'm excited we're
babysitting her daughter Debbie.
104
00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:32,211
She's so mean.
105
00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:33,453
It's like being around
a real-life Chucky.
106
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,881
Oh, right.
A full day of Debbie.
107
00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:38,108
I'll be in my spider hole
with my comics
108
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,551
till my "friend" leaves.
109
00:03:39,703 --> 00:03:42,203
Um, I think you'll want to stay
above ground today, Moon,
110
00:03:42,297 --> 00:03:44,223
because...
[imitates fanfare]
111
00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:46,225
It's time for the second
annual grand opening
112
00:03:46,376 --> 00:03:47,784
of the Tobin Family Pool!
113
00:03:47,803 --> 00:03:51,063
And it's going to be
very different than last year.
114
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:53,232
What?
Last year was perfect.
115
00:03:53,459 --> 00:03:54,733
Ah...
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00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:56,217
♪ ♪
117
00:03:56,386 --> 00:03:58,645
-[whoops]
-[laughs]
118
00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:00,054
[Judy]
Lies!
119
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,465
I'm sorry,
what I mean to say is
120
00:04:01,558 --> 00:04:03,242
lies, lies, lies, lies, lies,
you're lying!
121
00:04:03,427 --> 00:04:05,302
Yeah, last year's pool day
wasn't like that at all.
122
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:07,246
Judy and I spent
good money on that pool
123
00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:09,306
and an insane amount
on shipping,
124
00:04:09,399 --> 00:04:11,416
then you guys turned
our paradise into hell.
125
00:04:11,643 --> 00:04:14,920
Look! I'm a mighty salmon!
[laughing]
126
00:04:15,147 --> 00:04:16,313
Cannonball!
127
00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:18,740
Aah! Why is the water
so warm now?
128
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,333
Pee is water, Judy.
Grow up.
129
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,244
Uh-oh. Bucking broncos.
Yeehaw!
130
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:26,172
Wolf, careful,
that's a metal straw...
131
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,432
Aah!
132
00:04:28,677 --> 00:04:31,661
And it turns out
OnlineDiscount-Pools.Russia
133
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,847
does not allow returns
for stabbed pools.
134
00:04:33,999 --> 00:04:37,276
The only thing you can return
to those commies is their ideas.
135
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:39,519
Will someone please explain
modern Russia to her?
136
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,671
No, thank you.
Anyway, I only shop places
137
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:43,765
where if you have a receipt,
you can get a return.
138
00:04:43,859 --> 00:04:46,510
In fact, I got a pair
of dungarees from 1962
139
00:04:46,603 --> 00:04:50,104
that I will be returning today
to Suzie Q's Loose Slacks.
140
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,440
The point is that Honeybee and I
tried to provide everyone
141
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,126
with a nice experience
last year
142
00:04:54,277 --> 00:04:55,702
but it was stomped
to soggy bits.
143
00:04:55,854 --> 00:04:57,296
So this year,
Judy and I will be offering
144
00:04:57,447 --> 00:05:00,299
a more sophisticated experience
at our pool club,
145
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,359
as long as you're willing
to follow a few guidelines.
146
00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:04,194
Please enjoy and read carefully.
147
00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:05,378
Especially because
we ran out of toner
148
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,121
and everything printed
on the last page is
149
00:05:07,257 --> 00:05:08,289
basically off-white.
150
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:10,458
"No outside food,
no inside drinks,
151
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,386
no pretending to be a large
fish swimming upstream."
152
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,554
How dare you?
153
00:05:14,706 --> 00:05:17,207
"No peeing in, on,
or around the pool."
154
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,467
Wow, we get it--
you know prepositions.
155
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:20,544
[doorbell rings]
156
00:05:20,562 --> 00:05:22,970
[flat voice]
Oh, hello, Mr. Tobin.
157
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,564
Oh, God.
What's this?
158
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,733
Why is she talking
in that weird voice?
159
00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:29,235
Morning, Beef.
Ooh, Alaskan tuxedo.
160
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:31,388
-Hi, Debbie.
-Why hello, friend!
161
00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:33,890
Aah!
Ah, yes, a handshake.
162
00:05:33,909 --> 00:05:36,984
The greeting used to show
your foe that you are unarmed
163
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,320
and put them at ease
before the real attack.
164
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,731
[laughs] Oh, Moon,
you're such a humorist.
165
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:45,010
Okay, well, I'm ignoring
whatever that weird crap is
166
00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:46,736
'cause I don't want to be late.
167
00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:47,921
Let's go.
168
00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:49,497
A boozy brunch
169
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,424
was a great idea, Beef.
It's speaking my love language,
170
00:05:51,577 --> 00:05:54,168
which is carbs and alcohol
and almost nothing else.
171
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,837
Strong food groups on their own,
172
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,005
but somehow
more incredible together.
173
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,358
And it worked, cause I'm tipsy.
174
00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:01,526
Well, being a little drunk
will actually be good
175
00:06:01,753 --> 00:06:03,344
for where we're going next.
176
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,346
[chuckles]
Wait, there's a next place?
177
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,199
We've got so much daylight
178
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:08,608
and so many
missed date-ortunities.
179
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,111
I can hardly take you to brunch
and call it a day.
180
00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:12,537
This was merely date one.
181
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:16,116
Okay. Well then, cheers to
a second surprise romantic date.
182
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,542
I don't want to rush you,
but we do need
183
00:06:17,694 --> 00:06:19,269
to leave now
to make the reservation.
184
00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:22,864
Oh. Okay. I am gonna take
this glass with me, though.
185
00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:24,441
That feels right.
They have so many.
186
00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:26,200
Usually, when the mimosas
are bottomless
187
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,678
I leave topless,
but this is nice, too.
188
00:06:32,784 --> 00:06:35,394
[sighs] The water on my skin,
the sun in my eyes,
189
00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:38,880
the sharp aroma of warm vinyl
possibly poisoning my brain--
190
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,306
sublime.
191
00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:42,901
This is the Alaskan version
of a Mykonos resort.
192
00:06:43,128 --> 00:06:44,403
Except Lindsay Lohan isn't here.
193
00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:46,296
She might be.
She could be anywhere.
194
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:47,572
Remember, she won Season 16
195
00:06:47,799 --> 00:06:49,482
of Celebrity All Star
Hide-and-Go-Seek.
196
00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:51,635
That's right.
I still don't now
197
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,227
how she got herself
behind the Mona Lisa.
198
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,396
Tobin boys coming through!
199
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:56,581
I couldn't find
the beach towels,
200
00:06:56,808 --> 00:06:58,324
so I brought regular towels
and toilet paper.
201
00:06:58,477 --> 00:07:00,326
Do you guys want
to jump in one by one?
202
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,254
Or should we all hold hands
and jump in at once
203
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:04,330
like we're a rich family
taking a Christmas card photo?
204
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,332
-[blows whistle]
-Are you flippin' kidding me?
205
00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:07,742
Did you not read the rules?
206
00:07:07,836 --> 00:07:09,761
Oh, we thought
those were a joke.
207
00:07:09,913 --> 00:07:11,078
Also, no, we did not.
208
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,098
Only one
non Judy Honeybee swimmer
209
00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:14,991
allowed in the pool at a time.
210
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:16,083
Excuse me, miss Judy,
211
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,752
I'd like to say something.
212
00:07:17,846 --> 00:07:19,086
Here it comes.
213
00:07:19,222 --> 00:07:20,346
I think you're really doing
214
00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,165
a great job setting boundaries.
215
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:24,258
-Hashtag girlboss.
-[Wolf] All right, then.
216
00:07:24,352 --> 00:07:25,669
Age before beauty.
217
00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:28,280
Time for this rad lad
to get his splish-splash on.
218
00:07:28,431 --> 00:07:29,931
-Wolf, no!
-Uh-uh! No! Wolf!
219
00:07:30,025 --> 00:07:31,508
[whistle blows]
220
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,009
Hey, no floaties, flips,
or dives.
221
00:07:33,028 --> 00:07:34,411
You're banned.
222
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:39,349
I'll take one refund,
hold the chitchat.
223
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,293
I'm your customer,
not your therapist.
224
00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:44,187
And I'm a retail professional,
not an idiot.
225
00:07:44,189 --> 00:07:45,297
Have a nice day.
226
00:07:45,448 --> 00:07:47,040
Don't you tell me
what kind of day to have.
227
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,541
Let's try this again.
228
00:07:48,694 --> 00:07:51,452
I have a receipt
and Suzie Q's Loose Slacks has
229
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:53,621
a "no questions asked"
return policy.
230
00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:55,474
We had one.
My mom retired,
231
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,550
she goes on slut cruises
full-time now,
232
00:07:57,703 --> 00:08:00,312
I took over the shop,
and we have a new return policy.
233
00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:02,372
The slut cruises interest me,
234
00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:04,708
but I don't give
a flying squirrel fart
235
00:08:04,726 --> 00:08:05,967
what your new policy is.
236
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,062
And I'm not leaving
until I get my money back.
237
00:08:09,214 --> 00:08:10,396
Well, I'm not leaving either.
238
00:08:10,549 --> 00:08:12,382
Because, due to
a very difficult divorce
239
00:08:12,384 --> 00:08:14,234
I am going through,
I also live here.
240
00:08:14,386 --> 00:08:16,069
I sleep right there
on the tank top table.
241
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,330
And the answer will still be no
when I close the store tonight
242
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:20,999
and start crying
and wailing Rick's name.
243
00:08:21,226 --> 00:08:23,168
But feel free to make yourself
at home until then.
244
00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:25,745
I spent 60 years
locked in a bunker,
245
00:08:25,897 --> 00:08:27,247
so you better believe
I'm ready to spend
246
00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:29,424
the next million locked to this.
247
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:33,920
Better clear your calendar, hon.
248
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,347
I eat a lot of meat and cheese--
249
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:38,408
it could be days
before this passes.
250
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:40,393
-[Beef and Carissa laughing]
-♪ ♪
251
00:08:41,263 --> 00:08:42,912
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry.
252
00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,247
Ooh.
253
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,416
And scene.
Okay, great class, everyone.
254
00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:48,342
Again, my name
is Tiffany Fantasy
255
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,510
and my VidVok is
256
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,938
VidVokokany-FantaDanceny
exclamation point.
257
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,014
Follow me.
258
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:54,424
Whew. Well,
259
00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:56,276
thank you for the dance
and the date.
260
00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:57,944
And apologies in advance,
261
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,353
because these shoes
are coming off
262
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,780
the second we get in the car.
263
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:04,042
No need. Our next date is
well within walking distance.
264
00:09:04,269 --> 00:09:05,526
Oh.
There's a third date?
265
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:09,272
Indeed. The wining and dining
has just begun.
266
00:09:09,291 --> 00:09:10,957
♪ ♪
267
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,533
[both laughing]
268
00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:13,885
[whistle blows]
269
00:09:13,995 --> 00:09:15,470
-[Judy] Banned!
-♪ Banned... ♪
270
00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:20,283
[gruff voice]
Hello, it's your father.
271
00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:21,709
-[whistle blows]
-[Honeybee] Extremely banned.
272
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,470
♪ Extremely banned ♪
273
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,880
[both exclaiming]
274
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:26,898
Oh, no.
275
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,291
-[whistle blows]
-Banned!
276
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,143
Banned for this life
and the next.
277
00:09:30,295 --> 00:09:32,312
Where am I supposed to pee?
278
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:35,481
Next up, romantic date
number six.
279
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:37,242
Or, you know,
we could just go ahead
280
00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:38,484
and call it here, if you want.
281
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,912
Today's been a lot.
A lot of fun.
282
00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:42,229
Uh, but a lot.
283
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,415
I mean,
I'm sure you must be tired.
284
00:09:43,642 --> 00:09:45,083
I know I wouldn't
be mad at a nap.
285
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:47,735
No, no. Nap dates
are a thing of the past.
286
00:09:47,829 --> 00:09:49,087
Though we may have to lay down
to crawl through
287
00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,815
a tunnel to escape.
288
00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:53,407
Oh. An escape room.
289
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,652
Sounds hard.
290
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:58,597
Also, what does "mature" mean
in this context?
291
00:09:58,748 --> 00:09:59,656
♪ ♪
292
00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:02,175
Beef, this is really, um,
293
00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:04,769
-elegant, but...
-Good afternoon.
294
00:10:04,921 --> 00:10:07,664
Welcome. Bienvenue.
I'm Burtis.
295
00:10:07,682 --> 00:10:08,940
Oh, hello, Burtis.
296
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,110
We would like to try one
of your escape rooms, please.
297
00:10:12,261 --> 00:10:14,279
Terrific.
Now, before you pick
298
00:10:14,356 --> 00:10:16,263
which tantalizing room
to explore,
299
00:10:16,358 --> 00:10:17,765
I am required by law
to let you know
300
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:21,177
that "Erotic Alien Invasion"
has not been cleaned yet.
301
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,104
Then we will take
a different one, please.
302
00:10:23,198 --> 00:10:25,198
All right,
quick rundown of the rules.
303
00:10:25,350 --> 00:10:26,458
First, I will need you to place
304
00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:28,627
your personal cell phones
in this basket.
305
00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:31,612
Secondly, the electrical wiring
in the walls
306
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,022
is not part of the puzzle.
307
00:10:33,024 --> 00:10:35,041
Please do not try to remove it.
You will die.
308
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,878
And, finally, I have to ask you
to not have sex in there.
309
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,363
Wink, wink.
310
00:10:40,382 --> 00:10:41,698
Okay, but I feel like
when you said that,
311
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:44,159
you were implying we were
gonna have sex in there.
312
00:10:44,219 --> 00:10:46,552
Oh, no... Wink, wink.
313
00:10:46,705 --> 00:10:48,163
That's not allowed.
314
00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:49,314
Wink, wink, wink, wink,
wink, wink.
315
00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:52,484
Welcome to the Honeymoon Hotel.
316
00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:55,228
Your time starts now.
Wink, wink.
317
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:56,546
Wink, wink, wink, wink.
318
00:10:56,564 --> 00:10:57,972
Well, at least
there's somewhere to sit.
319
00:10:58,066 --> 00:11:00,216
No time. We've got to
start looking for clues.
320
00:11:00,235 --> 00:11:02,385
The chest has
a combination lock on it,
321
00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:04,404
so I bet we're looking
for three numbers.
322
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,724
911?
Joking, sort of.
323
00:11:07,742 --> 00:11:09,559
Hey, uh, Beef can we talk?
324
00:11:09,577 --> 00:11:11,169
I don't understand
what we're doing here.
325
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,654
Well, I think the puzzle
has something to do
326
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,732
with the newly-married owners
of a sex dungeon, and--
327
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:18,677
No, I mean I don't know
what you're doing today
328
00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:20,953
with this marathon of dates.
329
00:11:21,105 --> 00:11:22,405
You didn't have to plan so many.
330
00:11:22,424 --> 00:11:24,165
Sure I did.
Dorothy and Marie
331
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:25,575
practically ordered me to.
332
00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:28,002
Wait, they ordered you
to take me out?
333
00:11:28,096 --> 00:11:29,354
Like, forced you?
334
00:11:29,505 --> 00:11:32,023
Not forced,
they just said I had to,
335
00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:33,583
to make you feel special.
336
00:11:33,601 --> 00:11:36,102
Oh, well, I'm feeling
a lot of things right now,
337
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,029
but none of them are special.
338
00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:39,531
I'm tired, I'm angry...
339
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:41,257
Angry?
Like, at me?
340
00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:42,850
Wait, are we fighting right now?
341
00:11:42,944 --> 00:11:44,928
Yes, Beef, we're having
our first fight.
342
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,596
And you know what,
it's probably our last,
343
00:11:46,765 --> 00:11:47,780
because I don't think I want to
344
00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:49,708
be on a date with you
ever again.
345
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:52,118
[Burtis on speaker]
Okay, so just let me know
346
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:54,129
when you'd like a clue.
347
00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,551
I can't believe the ding dong
daylight will be gone
348
00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:01,368
in a few hours
and we're sitting here
349
00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:03,537
like a bunch of dry,
dusty doofuses.
350
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:06,040
I'm starting to suspect
those so-called rules
351
00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:08,801
were designed to stop us
from ever entering the club.
352
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,062
On the other hand,
social decorum is really
353
00:12:11,289 --> 00:12:12,455
what separates us
from raw nature.
354
00:12:12,474 --> 00:12:14,715
Debbie, may I see you
in my office?
355
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,401
Certainly, Moon.
I'd be pleased
356
00:12:16,552 --> 00:12:17,736
to continue
this dialogue with you.
357
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:21,239
Mr. Ham, Mr. Wolf,
please excuse me.
358
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:23,149
Okay, Debbie,
while I've enjoyed
359
00:12:23,301 --> 00:12:25,559
not being bullied by you
or being threatened with
360
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,320
a front upper body wedgie,
361
00:12:27,472 --> 00:12:29,822
at this point
I am absolutely forced
362
00:12:29,975 --> 00:12:31,583
to say what the hell?
363
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:33,810
Why are you acting
so nice?
364
00:12:33,903 --> 00:12:36,813
Do you have one of those cool
brain-eating viruses?
365
00:12:36,831 --> 00:12:39,406
[laughs] There's that charming
sense of humor again.
366
00:12:39,501 --> 00:12:41,985
I mean, there's a whole butt
of pool over there
367
00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:43,653
-[laughing]
-and two bigger butts who are
368
00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:46,914
standing in the way of our
super-fun butts enjoying it.
369
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,449
Mm, maybe the real fun
370
00:12:48,526 --> 00:12:50,251
is the time
we're spending together.
371
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,512
Ugh! The Debbie I know
would be chiming in
372
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:55,164
with a slightly north of evil
plan to extract revenge
373
00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:57,591
on those pool noodles
over there.
374
00:12:57,611 --> 00:13:00,278
-Oh, dear.
-What is your
damn deal, Deborah?!
375
00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:02,113
Oh, if you ever use
my full name again
376
00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:03,506
I will punch you
so hard in the stomach
377
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:06,175
that your innie becomes an outie
n the other side.
378
00:13:06,194 --> 00:13:08,011
Phew.
Oh, my God.
379
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:09,512
Let go of me, you fart sack!
380
00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:12,015
You're still in there.
You're still mean.
381
00:13:12,108 --> 00:13:13,349
What a relief.
382
00:13:13,518 --> 00:13:15,518
So, what's with
the Stepford Debbie act?
383
00:13:15,537 --> 00:13:18,946
Ugh, fine! The reason I've been
super good all day is
384
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,466
my mom really likes your dad
and she said
385
00:13:21,693 --> 00:13:23,209
I need to be
on my best behavior.
386
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:24,302
And I'm doing it 'cause...
387
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:27,806
-I'm glad they're dating.
-Oh, barf.
388
00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:29,623
Yeah, but your dad
makes my mom happy,
389
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,625
so right now I'm rolling
in extra desserts
390
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,461
and so many Bratz dolls
that I found an arm
391
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,963
in my oatmeal one day
and I didn't even care.
392
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,373
I just ate it.
393
00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:39,150
I don't want to get in trouble
today and ruin that.
394
00:13:39,377 --> 00:13:41,894
I get it, but couldn't you
throw us a bone
395
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,137
on the pool situation?
396
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,805
I know you must
have a scheme cooking.
397
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:48,159
I mean, yeah, I'd obviously love
to build an epic Slip 'N Slide
398
00:13:48,311 --> 00:13:50,161
and then ban
your power-drunk sister
399
00:13:50,388 --> 00:13:52,055
and actually drunk
sister-in-law
400
00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:53,164
from using it.
401
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,999
But I'll get in trouble
if we die,
402
00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:56,334
so I can't do it.
403
00:13:56,561 --> 00:13:58,911
You can't, but I can.
I'll take the fall.
404
00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:00,654
Besides, if anyone dies,
I'm pretty sure
405
00:14:00,748 --> 00:14:03,842
Honeybee and Wolf are
gonna be in the most trouble.
406
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:06,569
Ow! She's back.
407
00:14:06,588 --> 00:14:08,404
[Beef]
Okay, can we slow down?
408
00:14:08,423 --> 00:14:12,241
I am really sorry
you don't like the escape room.
409
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:14,001
It's not about this date, Beef.
410
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,762
It's about what you said
about Marie and Dorothy.
411
00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:18,005
I'm confused.
412
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,099
Don't you want to be romanced?
413
00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:22,176
Ugh! Finding out
this wasn't your idea
414
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,603
isn't romantic, Beef.
415
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,697
And now I'm trapped
on this never-ending date
416
00:14:25,924 --> 00:14:27,773
on a never-ending day
wearing shoes
417
00:14:27,926 --> 00:14:29,516
I'm going to have to be
cut out of at this point.
418
00:14:29,611 --> 00:14:31,536
And the fact that you still
don't understand what's wrong
419
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,371
makes me think
you are fully crazy!
420
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,281
-Carissa, no, that's--
-Hey, Burtis?
421
00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:36,690
Burtis, are you there?
422
00:14:36,768 --> 00:14:39,452
Hello. Are you two behaving
yourselves in there?
423
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,104
I hope not. Wink.
424
00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:42,529
Could you let us out?
425
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,440
I think the lady would like
to go home.
426
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:47,385
Hmm, are you really asking
to get out of the room
427
00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:49,629
or are you asking me
to come in?
428
00:14:49,781 --> 00:14:51,114
[chuckles]
Wink, wink, wink.
429
00:14:51,174 --> 00:14:52,465
Just leaving, please.
430
00:14:52,617 --> 00:14:54,333
Okay, maybe next time.
431
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,803
Auf Wiedersehen.
Please rate and review.
432
00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,397
So, do you chain yourself
433
00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:01,807
to small, family-run
businesses often?
434
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,142
Not as much as I'd like.
435
00:15:03,294 --> 00:15:05,144
I did once chain myself
to a malt shop
436
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:07,739
because the sanitary pad
dispenser ate my nickel.
437
00:15:07,966 --> 00:15:09,132
Ugh, fine.
438
00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:11,392
While I usually do not negotiate
with receipt terrorists,
439
00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:13,152
I suppose I could make
a one-time exception
440
00:15:13,304 --> 00:15:14,895
for a batty old bunker woman
who's committed
441
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,989
to the same
financially-stupid principles
442
00:15:17,142 --> 00:15:18,491
that my beloved mother is.
443
00:15:18,643 --> 00:15:21,085
I knew it. Ha!
Now, with inflation,
444
00:15:21,312 --> 00:15:22,236
we're looking at--
445
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,646
I will offer you
an exchange pair
446
00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:25,648
from the sales rack
or nothing at all.
447
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,092
Deal. I'll take one of those
droopy beige numbers
448
00:15:28,319 --> 00:15:29,410
with all the pockets.
449
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,744
Now, would you mind
unchaining yourself
450
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,354
and never
coming back here again?
451
00:15:32,415 --> 00:15:33,598
Well, I'd love to,
but like I said before,
452
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,325
I'm gonna need two to three days
to pass that key.
453
00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:37,827
Wait, this stunt was for real?
454
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,437
You don't have
an extra set of keys?
455
00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:41,514
Ha!
Do I look like a millionaire?
456
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:43,608
Okay, I'm calling the
fire department to remove you.
457
00:15:43,835 --> 00:15:45,334
Tell 'em not to dilly-dally.
458
00:15:45,428 --> 00:15:47,094
I stuffed a grenade
in my bra as backup,
459
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,689
and that pin is real loose.
460
00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:51,524
[Moon]
It's a masterpiece.
461
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:54,285
[Ham] One hundred feet
of chaotic, lawless energy.
462
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:57,029
It's like the discount luggage
section at Ross.
463
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,272
Who wants to go first?
464
00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:01,350
Yippee ki-yay,
splishy-splashers!
465
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:02,794
Whee! Ow, ow.
466
00:16:03,021 --> 00:16:05,463
Whee! Aah!
467
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:07,298
Oh, that was incredible!
468
00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:08,633
Oh, you've got to
check it out!
469
00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:09,950
Whee!
470
00:16:10,119 --> 00:16:13,162
[all shouting, laughing]
471
00:16:13,164 --> 00:16:14,380
Ah, yes, excuse me.
472
00:16:14,532 --> 00:16:16,699
Your screams have become
a bit of a nuisance
473
00:16:16,718 --> 00:16:18,384
for the Judy-Bee Pool Club.
474
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:20,052
So we're gonna need you to
shut whatever this is down.
475
00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:22,129
Or at least, uh, let us try it.
476
00:16:22,207 --> 00:16:23,389
Ooh, no can do.
477
00:16:23,558 --> 00:16:24,874
Are you serious?
478
00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:27,893
-Sorry, you're banned.
-[scoffs] Get out of the way.
479
00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:29,712
-No!
-Let me go, Ham.
480
00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:31,714
-No.
-[grunting]
481
00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:34,283
[all exclaiming]
482
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:36,995
[all shouting]
483
00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:39,831
Beef, I think maybe we should--
484
00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:41,240
-Uh-oh.
-What is it?
485
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,317
I'm not sure.
I have a bunch of missed calls.
486
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,745
-[phone dings]
-Hold on, there's a new
voice message from Wolf.
487
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,338
[Wolf]
Hey, Dad. You'll never guess
488
00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:49,582
where I am right now.
In an ambulance!
489
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:50,900
[Judy imitates siren]
490
00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:52,326
[Wolf]
Yeah, the whole fam is here.
491
00:16:52,403 --> 00:16:53,919
-Say hi to Dad.
-[Moon] Hi to Dad.
492
00:16:54,072 --> 00:16:55,404
-[Honeybee] Hey, Beef!
-[Ham] Who's Dad?
493
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:56,830
[Wolf]
It's actually a funny story,
494
00:16:56,924 --> 00:16:59,242
but, uh, oh, oh, let me tell you
the craziest part.
495
00:16:59,335 --> 00:17:01,185
I'm in an ambulance!
Yeah, did I say that already?
496
00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:03,095
Anyhoo, you've reached,
uh, Wolf Tobin.
497
00:17:03,248 --> 00:17:04,522
How may I direct your call?
498
00:17:08,844 --> 00:17:10,028
Well, everyone's okay.
The nurse said
499
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,937
the kids'll be out in a few.
500
00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,847
[music plays quietly on TV]
501
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:17,109
Uh, Carissa,
did you mean what you said
502
00:17:17,262 --> 00:17:18,627
in the escape room?
503
00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:21,355
About feeling trapped
and thinking I was crazy?
504
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,374
I shouldn't have
called you crazy, I'm sorry.
505
00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:26,102
But it was kind of nutso
to ask me out
506
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:27,528
only 'cause our friends
said to.
507
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,622
And then plan
seven consecutive dates.
508
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,550
Actually, I planned nine.
There was gonna be sushi,
509
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:35,536
an indoor hot-air balloon ride
at the Death cliff mall,
510
00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:36,962
and then a silent disco.
511
00:17:37,115 --> 00:17:39,131
Well, I appreciate
you making the effort,
512
00:17:39,284 --> 00:17:42,301
but today made me feel like
a romantic charity case.
513
00:17:42,453 --> 00:17:44,970
I was so excited,
but now I feel...
514
00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:46,731
I feel embarrassed.
515
00:17:46,882 --> 00:17:48,124
Hold on, let me clarify.
516
00:17:48,293 --> 00:17:50,976
Dorothy and Marie did tell me
I should take you out,
517
00:17:51,129 --> 00:17:52,737
but also, I wanted to.
518
00:17:52,888 --> 00:17:55,131
And I felt like
I needed to go big
519
00:17:55,149 --> 00:17:57,075
if skipping date night
was how Ken
520
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:58,484
coasted his way to the curb.
521
00:17:58,636 --> 00:18:00,912
Oh, geez, Beef.
Ken sucked in so many ways,
522
00:18:01,139 --> 00:18:04,307
but I ended it with Ken
because he was Ken.
523
00:18:04,475 --> 00:18:05,583
I know I went
a little overboard,
524
00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:08,811
but it wasn't just for you.
It was also for me.
525
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:09,754
I wanted to do this.
526
00:18:09,981 --> 00:18:12,164
You wanted to spend
a full 18 hours
527
00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:13,316
on a marathon of dates?
528
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:15,484
It was kind of
a dream come true.
529
00:18:15,503 --> 00:18:17,320
When Kathleen and I
were together,
530
00:18:17,338 --> 00:18:19,746
she never wanted
to do this kind of stuff.
531
00:18:19,841 --> 00:18:21,081
-Really?
-Uh-huh.
532
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,509
Even if I planned a date
I thought she'd really love,
533
00:18:23,661 --> 00:18:24,936
like a booze cruise.
534
00:18:25,163 --> 00:18:26,270
She'd just say I was corny.
535
00:18:26,422 --> 00:18:28,164
Geez, I'm sorry
she took the wind
536
00:18:28,182 --> 00:18:29,515
out of your sails like that.
537
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:30,775
Pun very much intended.
538
00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:33,185
Pun accepted.
Yeah, she was a bummer.
539
00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:35,095
She said "yuck" three times
540
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,930
-during our wedding vows.
-Oh, boy.
541
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,617
I had to shut down
that whole romantic part of me
542
00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:41,285
for so long and, I don't know,
543
00:18:41,437 --> 00:18:43,121
I guess I did go a little nuts.
544
00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:45,456
[chuckles]
I actually have a notebook
545
00:18:45,683 --> 00:18:47,625
where I write down date ideas
when I think of 'em.
546
00:18:47,776 --> 00:18:50,128
That's sweet.
How many ideas you got in there?
547
00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:51,871
-Thousands.
-Well, okay, well,
548
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,281
I may not like dates
quite as much as you do,
549
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,783
but I definitely like them
more than Kathleen.
550
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,210
Maybe we can split
the difference?
551
00:18:58,363 --> 00:18:59,804
Something between no dates
552
00:18:59,955 --> 00:19:01,697
and one billion
big, exhausting dates?
553
00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:03,883
that seems like
a fine compromise.
554
00:19:04,035 --> 00:19:05,810
You know,
it's pretty impressive we had
555
00:19:06,037 --> 00:19:07,052
our first big romantic date
556
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,129
and our first big fight
in the same day.
557
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,982
And if it's not too forward,
558
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,316
our first big make-up?
559
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:14,635
-[both] Mm...
-[Wolf] Nice!
560
00:19:14,729 --> 00:19:16,154
Kids!
Is everyone okay?
561
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,880
Just a couple
scrapes and bruises.
562
00:19:17,899 --> 00:19:20,399
Moon begged for stitches
but they wouldn't give him any.
563
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,160
I'm taking this off
when we get in the car.
564
00:19:22,311 --> 00:19:23,644
I want this baby to scar.
565
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,555
Dad, I'm sorry we interrupted
your romantic romp.
566
00:19:26,649 --> 00:19:28,499
Judy and Honeybee started
an exclusive pool club,
567
00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:31,485
so we had to build
a very dangerous waterslide.
568
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,487
What I'm saying is
it's all their fault.
569
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:36,248
What?! All we did
is make a few rules,
570
00:19:36,401 --> 00:19:38,083
which we wouldn't have to do
if you guys
571
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,326
weren't always running
around like a bunch of
572
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,012
drunk bulls in a china shop.
573
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:42,905
Uh, do you hear yourself?
574
00:19:42,998 --> 00:19:45,666
Bulls would make
a boring dish store so fun.
575
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,593
Not for the shop owners,
who are just trying to enjoy
576
00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:50,021
the shop they planned
and paid for because they wanted
577
00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:52,248
to do something nice
for everyone even though no one
578
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:53,916
ever says "thank you"
and it's just going
579
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:54,934
to get destroyed anyway!
580
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,602
Wow. That's a much sadder story
581
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,696
when it's not told
from the bull's perspective.
582
00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:01,848
I guess today might be
a little bit our fault, too.
583
00:20:01,943 --> 00:20:04,535
We did kinda
wreck the pool last year,
584
00:20:04,687 --> 00:20:07,446
and we do kinda
wreck a lot of nice stuff.
585
00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,523
Like the time you rented
a bounce castle
586
00:20:09,617 --> 00:20:11,542
for my birthday
and I used it to test
587
00:20:11,769 --> 00:20:14,212
whether a wolverine
and a squirrel could be friends.
588
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,605
Maybe we ought to all
bury the hatchet, go home,
589
00:20:16,699 --> 00:20:19,032
and watch the end
of the "All Cave-Ins"
590
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,867
marathon on the Chimney Channel?
591
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,461
-I would love that.
-Should we head out?
592
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,056
-[all exclaim]
-Why are you here? Are you okay?
593
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:27,541
Long story short,
ate a key, got new pants,
594
00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:29,376
came pretty close
to singeing off my nips.
595
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,562
-And they released you?
-Well, I'm supposed to stay
596
00:20:31,714 --> 00:20:35,015
until I pass the key, but I know
my body, and we got time.
597
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,642
Shotgun.
598
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,811
[Honeybee]
How about next year,
599
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:40,463
we can all save up,
but we'll order
600
00:20:40,481 --> 00:20:41,797
two Tobin family pools.
601
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:44,633
One that's calm and one that's
absolutely chaotic.
602
00:20:44,652 --> 00:20:45,968
And a third for peeing.
603
00:20:46,061 --> 00:20:48,471
-And one for pooping.
-Ooh, and what about one
604
00:20:48,489 --> 00:20:50,581
that's an aquatic arts studio,
just for me.
605
00:20:50,808 --> 00:20:53,492
Oh, and we can do one
filled with spicy turkey chili
606
00:20:53,569 --> 00:20:54,752
for when we get hungry.
607
00:20:54,979 --> 00:20:56,479
-All great ideas.
-You know what,
608
00:20:56,497 --> 00:20:58,147
let's just order a dozen
and we'll
609
00:20:58,165 --> 00:20:59,257
figure it out
when they get here.
610
00:20:59,408 --> 00:21:01,926
♪ From 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. ♪
611
00:21:02,077 --> 00:21:04,745
♪ Those chimneys
gonna be cavin' in ♪
612
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,080
[announcer]
We've gone crazy for cave-ins.
613
00:21:07,158 --> 00:21:08,933
Tune in this Saturday all day
614
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:10,509
for 24 back-to-back episodes
615
00:21:10,661 --> 00:21:13,178
featuring all your favorite
chimney cave-ins.
616
00:21:13,347 --> 00:21:15,606
Crumbles, tumbles, slips,
617
00:21:15,758 --> 00:21:17,850
slides, dusty, musty.
618
00:21:17,926 --> 00:21:19,777
These chimneys go busty.
619
00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:21,170
We know you're cravin'
those cave-ins
620
00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,521
and we've got you covered.
621
00:21:22,673 --> 00:21:25,116
So grab some snacks
and watch em' collapse.
622
00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:28,010
♪ From 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. ♪
623
00:21:28,029 --> 00:21:31,289
♪ Those chimneys gonna
be caving in! ♪
624
00:21:31,365 --> 00:21:33,516
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
625
00:21:33,534 --> 00:21:34,667
and TOYOTA.