1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,128 ♪ Look up there ♪ 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,337 ♪ What do you see? ♪ 3 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:05,797 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 4 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:06,840 - ♪ Like a rock ♪ - ♪ And a tree ♪ 5 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,343 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 6 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:13,763 {\an8}♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 7 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,015 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 8 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,474 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 9 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:17,767 ♪ Wow ♪ 10 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:21,104 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 11 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,772 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 12 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,357 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 13 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,734 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 14 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:29,237 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 15 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:32,782 [cheering] 16 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:37,787 {\an8}♪ All the nets are in, my traps are checked. ♪ 17 00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:38,872 {\an8}[phone rings] 18 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,374 {\an8}- Hello? - Beef cheeks, it's Carissa. 19 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,918 {\an8}Me and Dorothy and Marie are going to Gals Guzzle Free Night 20 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,087 {\an8}at the Daiquiri Cave in Kenai. You wanna come? 21 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,714 {\an8}Gonna be a lotta sturdy broads there! 22 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:51,176 {\an8}Oh, I wish but... my... nets are tangled, 23 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,762 {\an8}and my traps are on fire. Uh-oh! 24 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,514 {\an8}[chuckles nervously] Uh, so got to take a rain check. 25 00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:58,975 {\an8}Beef, I love you, but you're a terrible liar. 26 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,560 {\an8}You should be meetin' some bishes instead 27 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,062 {\an8}of catchin' fishes, but your loss. 28 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,063 {\an8}Smell you later. 29 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,731 {\an8}[sighs] 30 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,442 {\an8}Time to unwind after a full day of fishing 31 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,486 {\an8}with a little more fishing. 32 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,696 {\an8}[chuckles, grunts] 33 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:13,615 {\an8}[creaking] 34 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:14,616 {\an8}Oh, no. 35 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,201 {\an8}Aah! 36 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,330 {\an8}[gasping] 37 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:24,167 {\an8}I'll just swim back. Oh, God, the current. [groans] 38 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,670 {\an8}Oh, my leg is so stuck. [grunts] 39 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,296 {\an8}Okay, think, Beef. 40 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,798 {\an8}Your leg is stuck in the net. 41 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,299 {\an8}You got to get untangled. 42 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,176 {\an8}But pulling is seeming to tighten the ropes. 43 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,260 {\an8}[shivers] 44 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,513 {\an8}Cold water. Hypothermia. 45 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,474 {\an8}- Probably have 15 minutes at best. - Beef. 46 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,559 {\an8}- What? - Relax. 47 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,353 {\an8}It's all okay. 48 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,021 {\an8}God? Is that you? 49 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,273 {\an8}Sorry I said I thought you were imaginary. 50 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:48,983 {\an8}[chuckles] It's not God, Beef. 51 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,944 {\an8}It's me! Your penis. 52 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,155 {\an8}Oh, man, hypothermia must be setting in. 53 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:55,699 {\an8}Wait, why do you have a southern accent? 54 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,158 {\an8}'Cause I'm from down south. 55 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,660 {\an8}On your body. I mean, 56 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,453 {\an8}I was, when I was alive. 57 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:03,707 {\an8}But now I'm dead. And I'm in heaven. 58 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:06,292 Me. Your beautiful body handle. 59 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:09,129 Deceased. Because you haven't used me in years. 60 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,548 What? That's not true. What about last month? 61 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,883 The latest issue of Fisherwoman's Quarterly. 62 00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,218 That was a few minutes of fun. 63 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,762 I'm not talking about catchin' your own cod, 64 00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:19,305 I'm talking about sex. 65 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,141 Sex is kinda my thing. 66 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,810 Well, I never have the opportunity to meet anyone. 67 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,645 "I never have the opportunity..." [scoffs] 68 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,148 You pass up opportunities all the time. 69 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,316 You just passed up an opportunity to go to 70 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,110 Gals Guzzle Free Night with Carissa. 71 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,486 I have ears, you know. 72 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,488 - You do? - Kinda. 73 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,491 Anyway, saying no to going to a literal Ladies Night 74 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,201 was the last straw for me. 75 00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,996 It killed me. Just come join me in Heaven. 76 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,372 {\an8}But I don't want to die. 77 00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:45,957 {\an8}Well, then, maybe I could help you. 78 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,668 - Please! - If you could also help me. 79 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:51,671 - I'll do anything. - Promise me you'll actually start living, 80 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:52,797 get me in the game? 81 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,424 Because I'm not asking for a lot! 82 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,967 I'd take a-a one-night stand. 83 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,677 Or, I don't know, let's say you meet a lady 84 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,012 at the bus station. 85 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,305 Y'all go to the bathroom together. 86 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,015 She gets you up on the changing table. 87 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,016 Her teeth fall out, but who cares? 88 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,893 Maybe that's part of it. 89 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,812 Wait, what am I saying? Please, help me get untangled! 90 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:10,106 Okay, the net is tangled around your left foot. 91 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,359 It's in a kind of a cinch knot, so slide it up your leg 92 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,611 to loosen it, then wiggle your foot out. 93 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,529 [grunting] 94 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,156 Holy hell. 95 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:21,451 I'm alive. I'm alive! 96 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:25,580 [panting] Sorry... I'm... late. 97 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,208 Uh, Beef, you okay there? 98 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,001 You look like the bear from The Revenant. 99 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,837 Uh, Dad, what happened to you? 100 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,964 Okay, I know this might sound bonkers, 101 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,092 but I had a near-death experience, 102 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:39,427 and I... saw something. 103 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,097 The cherubic faces of your beloved children? 104 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,724 No, I saw my... 105 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,813 ...my penis in the sky, and it spoke unto me. 106 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,691 So you passed out, had a dream? 107 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,610 This was no dream, it was an epiphany. 108 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,322 My, uh, genital member was angry 109 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,448 about me not having... 110 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,409 - A falcon? - Sex. 111 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,703 And that's my cue. Glad you're okay, Dad. 112 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,538 I'll be on the porch not talking about this. 113 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,456 I'm also suppressing a scream of terror 114 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,500 at the prospect of discussing Dad's boudoir journey, 115 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,585 but I like to be perceived as sex-positive, 116 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,171 and I want Dad to be happy, so I'm just gonna stay here 117 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:18,633 but just nod and say "Mm... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm." 118 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,553 I, on the other hand, am ready to dig in. 119 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,847 Father, are you saying that your downstairs dad 120 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,598 wants you to get a girlfriend? 121 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,225 He's not looking for commitment. 122 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,768 He's after a one-night stand. 123 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,270 Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm. 124 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,272 Maybe me and Honeybee can find you a date, 125 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,815 and then we can all go out together. 126 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,275 Ah, it's always been a dream of mine 127 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,277 to do some double-teaming with my dad. 128 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,945 I hope to God that's not what you meant to say. 129 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,530 Thank you for the offer, son. 130 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,948 But I've gleaned from TV 131 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,784 that if all I'm looking for is a "hooking up," 132 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,787 I should just get on the... uh, applications. 133 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,123 Oh, yeah, if you're just after a little straddle-and-skedaddle, 134 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,416 then dating apps are just the ticket. 135 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,168 All right, once we finish dinner, 136 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:56,046 I will expose myself to the Internet. 137 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,423 Hey, Moon. Did you have to fart during dinner 138 00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,966 so you came outside? 139 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,634 It happens to me all the time. 140 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,262 Just last week I had to run out of Steak 'n Shake. 141 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,056 Actually, the indoor conversation 142 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,725 got a little too grown-up for my liking. 143 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:09,976 What are you up to, Jerry? 144 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,353 Oh, I was just stopping by to grab 145 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:12,562 my spare Bigfoot head. 146 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,147 I left it over here last week. 147 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,357 Classy. 148 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,858 - May I? - Yeah. 149 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:21,863 Whoa, baby Bigfoot. Ooh, this is giving me an idea. 150 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,490 My gigs have slowed down a little lately, 151 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,492 and I could use a new gimmick. 152 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,202 You want to play Bigfoot's baby brother 153 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,828 at the birthday gig I'm headed to? 154 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,414 - For real? - Heck yeah, it'll be fun. 155 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,458 Plus, I always wanted a real-life baby brother, 156 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,043 but it never happened. 157 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,753 - So what do you say? - I'm in. 158 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,254 And we can split the tip. 159 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:41,132 Free money? Okay, you're already my new best big brother. 160 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,802 Let me go inform my family about my new life. 161 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:47,263 Okay, I uploaded the only picture we have of Dad smiling. 162 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,556 Remember? We took it after 163 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,308 you saw that monkey wearing human clothes. 164 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,520 [laughs] It's not what they're supposed to wear. 165 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,939 - So, I guess I just click this button... - [computer chimes] 166 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,941 - Oh, hey, you matched. - Wonderful. 167 00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,276 What do I do-- send her a letter in the mail? 168 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,696 You meet her tonight at the Russian Restaurant. 169 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,115 And... send. If things go well, you'll be getting 170 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,075 an extra side of Russian un-dressing. 171 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,326 - [laughs] - I hope so. 172 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,955 Life is precious, and I cannot squander this second chance. 173 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,916 I must do what my trouser captain demands. 174 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,293 Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm... 175 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,587 Hello, uh... 176 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,839 - Tracy? - Hi. 177 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,340 Hi. I'm Sex Tobin. 178 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,009 I'm here for Beef. I mean sex. 179 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,427 I mean I'm here for a date. 180 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,970 Sex. Beef. [groans] 181 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,681 - Sex me. - I'm gonna go. 182 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,766 Oof. Rough start, but that's okay. 183 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,518 We got to get you back on that horse. 184 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,729 That sex horse. Yee-haw, Dad! 185 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,813 - Mm-hmm! - [computer chimes] 186 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,398 Ooh. Here we go. 187 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,026 I wonder if I've ever eaten a fish that you caught. 188 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,528 [laughs] That sure is fun to think about. 189 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,696 It is. 190 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,197 I hope you're enjoying your drink. 191 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,116 - Oh, I am. - You're welcome. 192 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,702 - I don't follow. - I invented cups. 193 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,662 You invented cups? 194 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,665 - Oh, yes. [laughs] - Is this a joke? 195 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:58,460 Also, I know you're... Hillary Clinton. 196 00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,961 Mm. I can't wait to 197 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,589 wriggle that skin suit off you back at my place. 198 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,215 To be expected. You're gonna meet some people 199 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,800 who are bonkers in the wonkers. 200 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,345 Right. Back on the sex horse I sit again. 201 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,554 Maybe I'll get earplugs 202 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,348 or perhaps the Lord will take me. 203 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,474 Oh, here we go. 204 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,267 This lady looks nice and normal. 205 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,727 Uh, Nina? 206 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,187 [baby-talking] Hello, Daddy. 207 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,898 - My diaper was full. - Oh, no. 208 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,692 Beef! ♪ Here comes your bride ♪ 209 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,402 ♪ Her name is me. ♪ - Nope. 210 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,237 No, no, no, no, no, no. 211 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,323 Um, Barbie? 212 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,785 [baby-talking] Uh-oh, I "dwopped" my pacifier, Daddy. Aw. 213 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,953 [Beef] Guys, I've been out every night 214 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,539 this week. I'm exhausted. And a new issue 215 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,792 of Fisherwoman's Quarterly arrived today, 216 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,878 so maybe I'll stay in and just read. 217 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,672 Beef, that last app sucked, but 218 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,216 I found one called Lumber Love that seems more your speed. 219 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,051 You're meeting a gal called Dee tonight. 220 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,428 She says she's gonna be wearing head-to-toe plaid. 221 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,514 - Well, that is a great start. - [knock on door] 222 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,808 Hey, guys. I'm here to pick Moon up. 223 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,935 Bigfoot and his little brother are a big hit. 224 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,269 This is our fifth party this week. 225 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,105 Let's go do what Bigfeet do. 226 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,899 Stackin' bills and delivering thrills. 227 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,401 [door opens] 228 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:12,826 [sighs] Well, there's my date in head-to-toe plaid. 229 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,537 Hey, Delmer. I think there might have been a fun little mix-up. 230 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,538 Oh, hell no! 231 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:19,124 [groans] Sorry, Mr. P, 232 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,167 - I really tried. - Ow! 233 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,420 {\an8}Greta? What are you doing on the ground? 234 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,256 Oh, it's silly, I have something called cottage cheese knees. 235 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,008 The dumb things just give out sometimes. 236 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,260 I was just heading in for a drink. Are you leaving? 237 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,849 Buffalo Wild Wings. 238 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,685 That was because of the sex. 239 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,564 [Greta] Good morning. 240 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,982 Oh, wow, Beef. 241 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,567 You sure made a lot of bacon. 242 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,068 Which is great, because I'm pork deficient. 243 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,903 If I don't eat at least a half a pound a day, 244 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,488 my doctor says my hands could fall off. 245 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,866 I know it's just the two of us, but I set 246 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,242 six places out of habit. 247 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,535 I love it! I mean, 248 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,828 who doesn't love breakfast? 249 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,163 Well, there was my old co-worker Kedden 250 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,873 who used to scream at his hash browns 251 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,833 in the break room, but he died. 252 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,960 I also packed you a nutritious lunch. 253 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,212 So, that's there if you should want it. 254 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,589 I... [clears throat] 255 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,924 ...um, haven't really, uh, had, you know, 256 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,177 a romantic encounter in a while. 257 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,595 I wasn't sure how to act. 258 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,722 Beef, just because we knocked galoshes 259 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,849 doesn't mean we have to act any differently. 260 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:21,311 - We're just friends who boned. - Friends who boned. 261 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,438 Okay, I like the sound of that. 262 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,856 Well, I have to go home 263 00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,358 and prepare this exact same meal 264 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:28,902 for my entire family before they wake up. 265 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,904 - [family] Surprise! - Oh, uh... 266 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,198 We noticed you didn't come home last night, 267 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,116 so we threw a little something together for you. 268 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,743 Was it everything you'd hoped for? 269 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,411 Rose petals? Candles? 270 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,663 A single Hershey's kiss on your pillowcase? 271 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,041 - Spill. - Or, you know, don't spill. At all. 272 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,001 Son, those details are private. 273 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,503 Ah, but what the heck? 274 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,797 Give me a slice of that one-night-stand cake. 275 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,173 Why is there breakfast cake? 276 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,966 More like sex-fest cake. [laughs] 277 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,761 - Dad went all the way! - And back up I go. 278 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,346 Take me with you. 279 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,640 We did it, my penis. 280 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,434 We had a one-night stand. Of sex! 281 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,688 ♪ Oh, yeah, a one-night stand of sex ♪ 282 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,232 ♪ We're just friends who boned ♪ 283 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,694 ♪ A one-night stand of sex ♪ 284 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,070 ♪ Oh, sex! ♪ 285 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,281 Man, we're making money hand over fist. 286 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,825 And I'm finally getting to experience 287 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:17,992 the big brother thing. 288 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,577 Who knew it'd be so much fun 289 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,287 buying my little brother an amount of ice cream 290 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,039 that would make him physically sick? 291 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:26,626 - You're nailing it, Jer. - Well, hello, hello, hello. 292 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,128 Um... hello. 293 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,046 We heard you've been doing parties 294 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,798 around town, as a duo. 295 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,426 Even heard you did Ryan Ferguson's sixth birthday party. 296 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:37,345 - Uh, yeah. - Ferguson is our gig! 297 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,596 There's only room for one 298 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,557 big/little party duo in this town. 299 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,308 Used to be Big Cher and Little Cher. 300 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,562 Then someone gave 'em a pair of concrete wigs. 301 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,607 Now the only big/little duo is us. Capisce? 302 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,235 Okay, that was freaky. 303 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,611 Don't worry about it, little bro. 304 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,280 They're just party entertainers. 305 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,698 Yeah, what's the worst they could do-- 306 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,074 hit us with a bucket of confetti? 307 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,702 Or make us a delightful balloon animal? 308 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,662 Honestly, I'd welcome it. 309 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,915 - [Judy] Mm... - Good morning, my fine family. 310 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,916 What are you looking at? 311 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:07,917 - Hi, Dad. - Morning. 312 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:08,918 - Uh, nothing. - Uh, Dad, 313 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,045 if you're thinking about reading 314 00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:11,379 the Poetry Corner, don't bother. 315 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,589 It's just dumb. 316 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,341 But today's obituaries are popping off. 317 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,842 Don't be ridiculous, Judy. 318 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,094 You know Poetry Corner is always my first stop 319 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,679 after I read the date. 320 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,389 "October 14th." 321 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,766 [chuckles] Pretty good. 322 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,392 Hey! Uh, should we all go on a road trip? 323 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,393 Huh? Vegas? 324 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,312 - Let's go! - Not now, son. 325 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,647 And I'd thank you not to throw keys at my head. 326 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,317 Today's poem: "Red Meat No Gristle, 327 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,027 "Late Night Guided Missile. 328 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,071 By... Greta Meatweep"? 329 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,990 Hmm. "When he helped me up in the parking lot, 330 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,034 "suddenly things got very hot. 331 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,454 "In the darkness entwined, on each other, we dined. 332 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:45,914 "I was disrobing, 333 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,832 he was... Beef Tobin." 334 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,043 Oh, my God. 335 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,047 [Wolf] "Bedclothes askew; 336 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,840 "aroma, Beef stew. 337 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,384 "Night gives way to dawn, 338 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,803 - and yet our lovemaking goes on." - [groans] 339 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,304 - [groaning] - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 340 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,764 Very cool! 341 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:04,974 I wanted a discreet one-night stand, 342 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,560 not to be the star of a literary sex tape. 343 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,896 Dad, you got to celebrate your accomplishments. 344 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,148 This poem is going right up on the fridge. 345 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,401 [groans] I listened to my sky member, 346 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,277 and now I'm the town trollop. 347 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,737 Dad, relax. 348 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,739 I don't think anyone is gonna care much about this. 349 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,408 When Crispin and I started dating 350 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,951 we thought we'd be the talk of the town-- 351 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,620 you know, being a new couple in a small Alaskan village-- 352 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,539 but people moved on pretty quickly. 353 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,790 Frankly, a little more quickly 354 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,375 than my ego was comfortable with. 355 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,751 And, Beef, I didn't even know 356 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,712 there was a poetry corner in the Lone Moose Wind. 357 00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,463 I bet no one's even read this. 358 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,715 You're probably right. 359 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,675 I mean, kids today, with their video games 360 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,011 and their LinkedIns, and their... kites. 361 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,304 I'm sure nobody cares about my sex-capades. 362 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,015 {\an8}[groaning] Mm-hmm. [squealing] Mm-hmm! 363 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,559 I'm just gonna go run my errands and, uh, 364 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,352 not give it a second thought. 365 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,814 ♪ ♪ 366 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,073 [Ham] Dad? You okay? 367 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,034 You're sitting on your brooding log. 368 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:07,370 I was in town, and it seems like many other ladies 369 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,039 wanted me to dip my... 370 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,833 beef taquito in their lady queso. 371 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:12,959 [groaning] Mm-hmm. 372 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,003 Which I know a lot of guys would dig, 373 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,671 but being the center of attention 374 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,340 just isn't my style. 375 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,091 Dad, if you don't like all the attention, 376 00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:21,426 you should go talk to Greta. 377 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,844 She should know that you'd rather keep 378 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,096 any further rhyming couplets about your romp private. 379 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:28,350 All right, Hamjam. When did you become so wise? 380 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,685 Oh, uh, about three years ago. 381 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,228 [Moon] Pretty crazy that we've done 382 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,481 three parties for this family in one week. 383 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,067 [Jerrybee] Yeah, they always give little Jay-Jay three parties. 384 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,069 He's gonna grow up to be a monster. 385 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,320 Hey, what in the... 386 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,365 I think those damn clowns pied your car. 387 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,325 [engine starts] 388 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,701 - [honks horn] Honk-honk, bitch. - Aah! 389 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,203 Oh! How'd you get in here? 390 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,789 You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? 391 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,207 Since you boys can't take a hint, 392 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,376 here's an ultimatum: Costume Battle. 393 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,211 Woods. Tomorrow night. You. Us. 394 00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,879 Couple other guys. Derek's a maybe. 395 00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,590 Appetizers, but not a meal. You get the picture. 396 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,258 {\an8}What the hell's a costume battle? 397 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,052 It's how us local party entertainers 398 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,804 settle this kind of score. 399 00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:08,640 Winner gets to keep their act. Loser loses theirs. 400 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,183 [grunts] 401 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,687 Boy, these clowns make the one from It seem chill. 402 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,772 I hope no one was watching them leave. 403 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,065 Be real disappointing to see 404 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,234 only two clowns get out of a car. 405 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,279 Hello, Greta. I read your poem. 406 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,781 Oh, you did? I'm so glad. 407 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,282 I was so stirred by our lovemaking 408 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,326 that I was finally able to rhyme. 409 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,536 Would you like to come in? 410 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,204 I, uh... 411 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,372 Yes, Beef? 412 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,416 Yes... 413 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:36,751 [Ham] So... 414 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:39,713 based on this second very graphic poem, 415 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,172 I'm guessing you didn't tell Greta 416 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,424 that you didn't love the first one? 417 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,093 Well, I tried, but no. 418 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,761 Let me guess-- you made significant eye contact 419 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,221 and then just boned again. 420 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,306 - We did. - Hoo... 421 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,934 "More Beef Broth Overfloweth My Trough, 422 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,310 by Greta Meatweep." 423 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,478 It's a great title for the sequel. 424 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,230 Wait. Let me just brace myself. 425 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,732 Okay. Proceed. 426 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,900 "Prime rib sandwich, open face. 427 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,902 Mid-day gravy, hot embrace." 428 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,904 [straining] No! No! 429 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,573 Nope, nope, nope! Sorry, I tried to be cool, 430 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,991 but I am not this cool. Good luck, Dad. 431 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,035 And I am going to go upstairs to my room 432 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,453 and then out the window to a therapist! 433 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,163 [cackling] 434 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,332 And I shall go to my room. 435 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,709 For the foreseeable future, 436 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,919 I shall moor my personal watercraft 437 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,422 in the safe harbor of my own underpants. 438 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,924 Hey, Judy, you want to bring the table piece back? 439 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,885 I could get started fixing it. 440 00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,428 [loud rock music playing in distance] 441 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,598 [Jerrybee] Huh. This seems kind of bad. 442 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,184 Uh-huh. And I think you'll share my concern-- 443 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:37,270 - where are the frickin' appetizers? - Oh, there's Noodie the Noodle. 444 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,439 Looks like he's been hitting the sauce pretty hard. 445 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,608 - Didn't think you'd show up. - Yeah, we showed up. 446 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,610 And you messed up by messing with 447 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,778 my Big Bigfoot Bro. 448 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,196 Go on, Jerry. Get 'em! 449 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,448 Oh, Moon! No, no, no, no. Don't say that. 450 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,824 - Uh, I-I'm not-- - All right. 451 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:51,284 Here's how this goes down. 452 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,952 First we strip down to our underwear 453 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,829 so we don't stain our costumes with blood. 454 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,081 Then we fistfight. 455 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,291 Then winners burn the losers' costumes. 456 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,251 But first, everybody gets ten minutes 457 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,711 to do whatever drugs they want. 458 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,129 Moon, look. 459 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,256 I think I've been so focused on being a fun brother 460 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,175 that I forgot about the other big brother stuff, 461 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,468 like protecting you. 462 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,178 I mean, taking you to a clearing in the woods 463 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,638 with a bunch of psychopaths? 464 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,807 That's not ideal big brother behavior. 465 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,685 I think it might be time to retire our Bigfoot team. 466 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,937 But maybe we could just hang out sometimes. 467 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,146 Oh, definitely. 468 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,565 Okay. When I say, "Run," run. 469 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,817 - Run! - Hey! 470 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,026 Get back here! 471 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,528 - Where are you going? - [honks] 472 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,988 I'll miss you...! 473 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,490 [Ham] Okay. 474 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,033 Yeah, this is bad. 475 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,159 Very, very bad. 476 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,411 Morning, my sibs. 477 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,204 Uh-oh. Your plates are saying flapjacks, 478 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,498 but your faces are saying, "Oh, crap." 479 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,126 "My Eager Vegan by Greta Meatweep"? 480 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,753 "Your long blonde rattail glistening in the sun. 481 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:47,424 Your lips like silken tofu, your patchouli-soaked man bun." 482 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,051 Uh-oh. This poem is not about your dad. 483 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,139 [Ham] "Truffle hunting at night, 484 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,433 "my garden delight. I unearthed his carrot, 485 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,560 and with glee he did share it." 486 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,562 I know this poem's not about Dad, 487 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,980 but I still hate it. 488 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:03,481 Looks like Greta took a veggie dip. 489 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:04,733 Dad's gonna be devastated. 490 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,109 He's just gotten himself 491 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,944 back on the market and now he's being recalled. 492 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,529 - Gee! Hi-hi, hi. - [stammering] Hi. 493 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,822 [chuckles nervously] Hi, Dad. 494 00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,741 What, uh... What's going on? 495 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:13,867 Oh, th-th-the... 496 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,577 whole yard is-is on fire, 497 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,829 so... you better... go... 498 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,290 Oh. I see. 499 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,167 Excuse me. 500 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,546 - Oh, no, Greta broke his heart. - I'll go after him. 501 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,840 - Wolf, no. - But he's sad. 502 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,300 Yes, Wolf, probably. 503 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,552 But look, Dad chose to sleep with somebody. 504 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,179 Twice. And it got complicated. 505 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,638 But as someone who has had to think about 506 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,724 this kind of relationship and sex crap 507 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,642 from the time he was... [scoffs] 12 508 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,353 and first saw a Knight Rider rerun... 509 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,563 Hasselhoff. Vroom-vroom, baby. 510 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,899 Exactly. And that car was no slouch, either. 511 00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,734 Look, as a gay dude, I always knew that 512 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,695 my love life might bring me a bit of, mm... scrutiny. 513 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,365 But the other choice-- hiding away-- kind of sucks. 514 00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:55,825 And we got to let Dad process that. 515 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,328 Even if it means he lives in the shed for a month or two, 516 00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,080 mumbling and eating cold spaghetti. 517 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,748 Okay, then, batten down the hatches. 518 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,584 It's about to get very forlorn around here. 519 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,962 Come on, Penis, show yourself. We need to talk. 520 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,257 Ugh, maybe I have to be at risk of death. 521 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,717 I guess I have to get in. 522 00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:19,724 Oh, no! I'm in danger. I could die. 523 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:22,102 Beef! My man! What is up? 524 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,687 I am really proud of you. 525 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:26,064 You're the conductor of the Bone Town Express. 526 00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,065 Choo-choo! 527 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,733 No. I am not that. 528 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:31,194 Although I do like trains. But I'm upset. 529 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,279 Oh. Is it because Greta took another lover? 530 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,489 The vegan? 531 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:35,573 How do you know that? 532 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,742 Beef, I'm a part of you. 533 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,619 I know everything you do. 534 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,496 I know you're about to fart right now. 535 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,248 Well, you're wro-- Oh. 536 00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:44,332 [chuckles] See? 537 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,792 So, what's the big deal about Greta? 538 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:46,835 You jealous? 539 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:48,837 No. And that's what I'm upset about. 540 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,880 I was always kind of jealous of Kathleen, 541 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,465 so why am I not devastated 542 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,426 that I'm not Greta's only boy toy? 543 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:58,513 Has having casual sex turned me into some kind of a lothario? 544 00:18:58,513 --> 00:18:59,931 Beef, if you want answers, 545 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,058 you need to talk to the guy who sent me. 546 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:05,186 No offense to me, but I am pretty dumb. 547 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,604 Someone sent you? 548 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,356 Your heart sent me. 549 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,691 {\an8}- Hey, Heart. - Oh, hey, fellas. 550 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,484 {\an8}I was just thinking about this cat I saw once 551 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,819 {\an8}that only had three paws. 552 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,195 {\an8}He rode around on a little scooter. 553 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:15,739 {\an8}- He was so brave. - 'Sup, Dennis. 554 00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:17,449 My heart's name is Dennis? 555 00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:19,159 - Your name is Beef? - Fair. 556 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,161 Beef, it's not just your down-below dangler 557 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,287 that's been dead for years. 558 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,288 It's me, too. 559 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,206 What? I use you all the time. 560 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,125 I-I love the kids. And the boat. 561 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,835 And that cat with the three paws. 562 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,129 I remember when we saw Jangles on that website. 563 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,173 Beef, I'm talking about romantic love. 564 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,674 I haven't gotten to feel that in years. 565 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,469 Okay, but then why'd you send my wiener? 566 00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,137 Come on, Beef, we all know the saying, 567 00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:40,722 "The penis is the gateway to the heart." 568 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:41,931 That's not a saying. 569 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,475 Sure it is. I have it on a bumper sticker. 570 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:44,559 You have a car? 571 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:46,144 Sort of. Well, it's complicated. 572 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:48,271 Look, Beef, the point is, if you don't start 573 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:50,190 getting your old rod and reel back in the game, 574 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,608 then I have no chance, either. 575 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,693 And we've got a lot of good years ahead of us. 576 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,153 So you're saying that if I keep 577 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,988 - doing the deed... - Hell yeah! 578 00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,448 ...you can handle that, Dennis? 579 00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,033 I mean, you were really messed up 580 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,785 back when you-know-who ran off. 581 00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:03,286 Oh, yeah. I was a disaster. 582 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,080 Remember how we used to have to lie down in the shower 583 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,790 every time an Air Supply song came on? 584 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,416 We were both hanging on by our fingertips. 585 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:09,542 But I'm better now. 586 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,211 Hmm. I guess that's true. 587 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,796 These days, when I hear Air Supply, 588 00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:14,506 I just turn the radio off 589 00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:17,300 and sometimes rub a cool rag across my forehead. 590 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,053 We're just asking you not to fish your whole life away 591 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,389 while your friends go to Gals Guzzle Free Night. 592 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:25,767 Okay, I'll do what you guys want and get out there again. 593 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:28,520 {\an8}Yes! But, Beef, it's actually what you want. 594 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,689 {\an8}'Cause we're you, ding-dong. 595 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,691 {\an8}Hey, since we're gonna be getting back out there again, 596 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,442 {\an8}maybe we call that doll lady, huh? 597 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,485 {\an8}- No. - [Beef] Absolutely not. 598 00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,821 But I will keep trying. I promise. 599 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,614 {\an8}All right, well, we'll be seeing you around, Beef. 600 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:40,699 {\an8}Bye, player. 601 00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:41,991 {\an8}Don't be afraid to reach out. 602 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,369 Wait, my penis. I never got your name. 603 00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,329 It's Cindy...! 604 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,960 Thanks for all the support through the years, 605 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,253 Captain Christy Covington, 606 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:56,339 beast of bass fishing and three-time cover girl. 607 00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,675 But I got this now. 608 00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,844 You know what? A man can change his mind. 609 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,179 {\an8}♪ The penis is the gateway to the heart ♪ 610 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,015 {\an8}♪ I'm your johnson ♪ 611 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,599 {\an8}♪ And I'm where you should start ♪ 612 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,436 {\an8}♪ I'm here to hold your hand through love ♪ 613 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,604 {\an8}♪ And I'm closer to your farts ♪ 614 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,106 {\an8}♪ It's me ♪ 615 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,524 {\an8}♪ The downsouth Donald ♪ 616 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,776 {\an8}♪ That's the gateway to your heart ♪ 617 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,361 {\an8}♪ People see me hanging around ♪ 618 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:19,863 {\an8}♪ Think I'm up to nothing good ♪ 619 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:21,698 {\an8}♪ But I have schemes and dreams, you know ♪ 620 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,699 {\an8}♪ I'm not just made of wood ♪ 621 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:23,783 {\an8}♪ Not just made of wood ♪ 622 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,784 {\an8}♪ Get to know me better ♪ 623 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,453 {\an8}♪ And you'll see I can unlock ♪ 624 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,038 {\an8}♪ The golden road to that hunky dude ♪ 625 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:29,706 {\an8}♪ The one that beats ticktock ♪ 626 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:31,875 {\an8}♪ I'm the penis, the gateway to your heart. ♪