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《北方極樂園》
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{\an8}(無敵凱瑟琳號)
(你真是夠了,史默斯!)
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{\an8}(美國屁派對)
(《公證人遊戲》)
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(海外作戰退伍軍人協會)
(0619郵局)
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{\an8}請注意,那些來參加為小學生練習舞會
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{\an8}舉辦的小學生舞會練習班的人一走進來
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{\an8}就會看到這塊布條,所以不能掛得歪歪的
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{\an8}- 好的,這樣可以嗎?
- 完美
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{\an8}(準備狂歡吧!)
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{\an8}- 喵,喵
- 穆恩,你沒事吧?
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{\an8}你只有在壓力極大的狀況下
才會不由自主地喵喵叫
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{\an8}我沒有壓力
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{\an8}- 喵
- 我懂了
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{\an8}你要在今天邀請昆恩當你舞伴是嗎?
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{\an8}天啊,好險他只是會喵喵叫
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{\an8}我們都知道他很緊張的時候會...
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{\an8}加油,穆恩
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{\an8}我也是個事先準備狂
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{\an8}我相信你一定設想過每一個可能狀況
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{\an8}- 最糟糕的狀況會是什麼?
- 我死了
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{\an8}我肯定她一定會答應的
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{\an8}你是十大黃金準備漢之一
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{\an8}你聰明、幽默,還有自己的熊熊套裝
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{\an8}穆恩,去吧
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{\an8}嗨,昆恩,我是穆恩,我是妳的同學
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{\an8}嗨,穆恩,我知道是你,因為我看得到你
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{\an8}好喔,酷喔
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{\an8}總之,我想說...
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{\an8}我要去參加為小學生練習舞會
辦的小學生舞會練習班
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{\an8}妳也會去參加為小學生練習舞會
辦的小學生舞會練習班
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{\an8}要是我們一起去呢?
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{\an8}不要
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{\an8}喵
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{\an8}我的天啊,大家
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{\an8}穆恩剛剛邀請昆恩當他的舞伴
但她拒絕了
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{\an8}我的天,他哞哞叫之後又喵喵叫
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{\an8}有人知道這是怎麼回事嗎?
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{\an8}也許他死了可能還比較好
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{\an8}兒子,我燙好了
你參加小學生練習舞會的西裝...
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{\an8}看來你把你所有最貴重的財產
全都打包到行李袋裡了
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{\an8}我想這表示你要離群索居?
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{\an8}- 對
- 方便告訴我是什麼狀況引發了
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{\an8}這個與社會決裂的想法嗎?
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{\an8}學校?兄弟姊妹?社交圈?感情困擾?
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困擾還不足以形容事態的嚴重性
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了解,恐怕我也有過類似的遭遇
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我希望能讓你好過一點
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但有時候獨自待在森林裡
確實是唯一已知的解藥
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(《圖鑑》)
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謝謝,我需要那個頭燈
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和那個家庭號冷漠船長起司泡芙,麻煩了
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氣象預報指出今晚可能會刮欽諾克風
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所以你也得把對講機帶著,以防萬一
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好,但我要去的地方
沒什麼機會說話,我大多在走路
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爸,再見囉
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記得在八點準時上校車
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你也許可以去野外散心,但我不准你曠課
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這才叫人生
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隨著時間過去,我愈來愈不在乎
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那個誰說的那個什麼你知道的練習舞會的
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什麼練習班的那個什麼
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欽諾克風
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大自然,你想得美,你休想輕易擺脫我
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有個戴著防毒面具
和穿著防護服的神祕人物
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穿過了樹林?
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我絕對會搞清楚這是什麼狀況
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薄荷警報
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(穆恩的緊急狀況資料夾)
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薄荷,薄荷
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「薄荷:在托賓家的土地上
見到戴著防毒面具的神祕人物
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消失在上鎖的地面艙口」
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所以在雨季我從來不會把斗篷脫掉
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天啊,你們把我從一個超扯的夢境中叫醒
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美辛耐鼻屎人幫我做晚餐
但在我打噴嚏之前,我們都沒辦法開動
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然後我打了一個噴嚏,實在打得太好了
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把美辛耐鼻屎人惹哭了
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而現在我拿著一個平底鍋來到了森林裡
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茱蒂,妳幹嘛帶著那本書?
要用來當武器嗎?
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{\an8}也許喔,這是《一千零一則愛爾蘭笑話》
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{\an8}如果他是愛爾蘭人,他可能會崩潰
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好的,武器準備好,我們就快到了
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艙門被偽裝成地面的樣子
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很可能就是我們從來沒注意到的原因
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侵入者,你聽好,請你出來
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想得美,你這個下流的共產黨
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你絕對無法活捉我
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我們不是共產黨,我們不會傷害你
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你叫什麼名字?
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我叫關你什麼事,鮑利斯?
你這個永世荒地的變種人
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我叫比夫托賓,你在我的土地上
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- 你說你叫比夫托賓?
- 沒錯
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如果你是托賓,證明給我看
給我看看托賓握手法
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沒有托賓握手法這種東西
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正解,那是個測試,你過關了
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我是德楚德,但大家都叫我德特
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我的天,妳就是傳說中
失散已久的托賓家族成員德特姑媽?
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班尼古德曼的黑管,你找到我了
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抱歉我叫你們共產黨,但小心為妙
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(檢查過後院有沒有共產黨了嗎?)
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我寧願跟你們道歉
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也不要在莫斯科向勃列日涅夫下跪
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- 你們懂吧?
- 當然懂
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德特姑媽,我真不敢相信是妳
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你最好相信,孩子,我是你爸的姊姊
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德楚德葛楚德托賓
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是的,是的
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這是個專門用來招待女性友人的地方
還是妳用來謀殺的地牢?
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這是我的求生掩體,親愛的
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我從蘇聯入侵美國時就住在這裡了
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- 等等,那是在什麼時候?
- 從沒發生過
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發生過
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在1964年3月27日的受難日
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當他們的坦克隆隆作響地登陸時
整個地面都在晃動
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我認為妳說的是1964年的阿拉斯加大地震
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妳在那天消失了,然後被推定死亡
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被推定死亡也比成了共產黨好,你懂吧?
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妳的離群索居等於是人間蒸發
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這段時間以來妳能夠
在這裡存活下來實在太神奇了
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存活?我活得可好了,小鬼頭
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一位25歲的女子所想要和需要的一切
這個寶窟裡全都有了
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豆子罐頭、雷布萊伯利的作品集
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斯卡威斯圖貝克銷售服務公司
1963年的起司蛋糕年曆
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我有這些作伴
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- 那是...
- 沒錯
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TC-320碳化器,世界一流的尿液過濾系統
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哇
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把我的尿轉換成乾淨的飲用水
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喝起來幾乎不像尿
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就只有一點點,但你就想要那一味
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多謝妳的招待,但我中午才喝了尿
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波傑哥醫生的能量餅乾
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難吃死了
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但我一吃就停不下來
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這些餅乾讓我想要創業
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我說的是綜效、種子資金
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我說的是槓桿操作,我還沒說完
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茱蒂,看來波傑哥醫生能量餅乾
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大部分的成分是麻黄碱
也就是安非他命,也許妳不該再吃了
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對...對,吃完這盒就好
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漢姆,我們來打幾通電話吧
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- 幫我聯絡葛利克
- 沒問題
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叫凱文點一堆壽司
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招待上門的投資人,凱文
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等等,德特姑媽
如果妳從1964年就住在這裡了
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這不就表示妳從來沒看過電影?
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(躲起來,找掩護)
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- 親愛的,1964年以前就有電影了
- 不對喔
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德特姑媽,妳不用擔心
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00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,995
我和哈尼碧會帶妳進入
動態影像的神奇世界
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我們可以幫妳把這段時間以來
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妳錯過的每一部好片補起來
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名單得來全不費工夫
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第一名是當之無愧的茱蒂丹契傑作
《奶媽范妮》
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什麼?明明就有巨石強森主演的
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《身歷險境》
你竟然挑了《奶媽范妮》?
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- 他讓那些愚蠢的聰明人自取其辱
- 說得有理
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我們也不能忘了《看誰在說話》系列電影
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讓德特姑媽趕上流行有的是時間
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又一部好片《捍衛戰警》
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{\an8}- 我好愛《捍衛戰警》
- 沒錯
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{\an8}好的,在你們換衣服的時候
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{\an8}我要把這些拿去燒掉
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我們帶德特姑媽去莫德全日餐廳
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吃一頓現代早餐之後,我再送你們去學校
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德特姑媽,我可以留下來嗎?
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這個地方太酷了
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00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,621
當然可以,把這裡當自己的家吧
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你得上學,但放學回家之後
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你可以下來這裡
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我差點忘了
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德特姑媽,吃早餐用不到手槍
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那是他們故意讓你這麼認為
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親愛的,別再被他們牽著鼻子走了
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(莫德全日餐廳)
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卡萊葛倫的屁眼,我忘了帶香菸
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糟了,妳的香菸!
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德特姑媽,現在不能在公眾場所抽菸了
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連醫院也不行?
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德特姑媽,妳在掩體住了60年
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這段時間發生了很多變化
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雪莉鄧波的睪丸,60年了!
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哇,我超過80歲了
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太棒了,真是個好消息
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老爸不能再逼我結婚
185
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,573
當個生孩子的機器了
186
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,116
對了,老爸還好嗎?
187
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:18,206
對了,也是,如果我都80多歲了
那麼...我得算一下
188
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,874
謝謝妳的咖啡,親愛的
189
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,042
- 叭噗
- 妳在做什麼?
190
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,794
- 德特姑媽!
- 抱歉,她是古時候的人
191
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:24,879
這有什麼大不了?
192
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,673
在我那個年代,襲胸基本上就是握手
193
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,843
這種事在所難免,女士
按一次叭噗一塊錢
194
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,094
付錢給那娘們
195
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,180
這傢伙怎麼搞的?
196
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,224
他肯定在害怕去學校
197
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,476
我明白他的心情,我最討厭上學了
198
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:41,562
你開心點,冠軍
你幾乎是可以去工廠工作的年紀了
199
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,481
或者如果你夠幸運的話,你會被徵召
200
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,066
我超想被徵召的
201
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:47,026
這樣我就可以躲過那個愚蠢的舞會
202
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,779
舞會?我猜猜,有個美女拒絕你了?
203
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,949
昆恩,她甚至不給我一個理由
就直截了當地說「不」
204
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,035
她應該真的有理由,很有可能是得了白喉
205
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,620
也許妳說得對
206
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,205
記在我帳上,寶貝
207
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,122
(孤鹿中學)
208
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:02,375
別忘了問你馬子是不是得了白喉
209
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,710
比夫,你方便載我去沃爾沃斯嗎?
210
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,212
我想買一台新的收音機
211
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,839
這樣我就能聽冷言冷語佛瑞迪的
《阿拉斯加搖擺時間》了
212
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:12,051
沃爾沃斯已經撤離這裡40年了
213
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:16,389
而冷言冷語佛瑞迪在1990年代
被燒死了,即悲劇又諷刺
214
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,349
那好吧
215
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,935
我還想去看看幾個地方
216
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,937
但要事先做
217
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,190
不管這是什麼東西,都快把我皮膚擦破了
218
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,195
- 嗨,昆恩
- 嗨,穆恩
219
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,447
出於好奇,妳有白喉嗎?
220
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,366
沒有,但多謝你關心
221
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,034
我的喉嚨後面、鼻腔和舌頭
222
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:40,037
有一層我沒察覺到的
厚厚的灰白色覆蓋物嗎?
223
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:43,791
沒有,我只是想說也許妳拒絕當我舞伴
224
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,003
是因為妳得了白喉
或者其他細菌感染疾病
225
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,797
不是,我拒絕你是因為我答應了別人
226
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,090
是喔
227
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,053
穆恩,你要去哪裡?
228
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:58,389
今天是食堂的培根生菜蕃茄三明治日
229
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:00,474
(孤鹿商場)
230
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:01,684
這是什麼鬼地方?
231
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,853
他們在這裡蓋了商場?當這裡是巴黎嗎?
232
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,855
小強尼歌舞廳呢?
233
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,608
一群舞者在20年前從天花板上的
234
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,110
銀色月亮上掉了下來之後
235
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,695
小強尼就被拆除了
236
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,822
太可惜了吧
237
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,240
前面左轉
238
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,325
做好準備,比夫
239
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,994
你即將喝到你這輩子喝過
最棒的巧克力牛奶蘇打水...
240
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,078
(三號門)
241
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,581
我的天,這裡是地獄,活生生的地獄
242
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,001
拜託你,請載我去我朋友梅連達她家
243
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,086
我需要見到熟悉的臉孔
244
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,882
梅連達的家變成這副鬼樣子?
245
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,175
很抱歉,德楚德
246
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,301
(為你買超市)
247
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,053
載我回掩體吧
248
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,141
這是怎麼搞的?門被鎖住了
249
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,143
抱歉,裡面有人
250
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,732
穆恩,你給我把門打開
251
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,360
更重要的是,你給我回去學校
252
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,569
爸,謝謝你,但我不要
253
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,154
一旦我把門打開
254
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,281
某個人可能會闖進來狠狠拒絕我
255
00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:59,700
因為她更喜歡某個地面上的男孩
256
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,620
我明白了,我想昆恩沒有得白喉?
257
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,205
她甚至也沒有霍亂
258
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,707
很抱歉你朋友這麼健康
259
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,167
我真的很不喜歡
260
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:11,629
我的孩子一個人待在地洞裡
261
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,923
但如果這是你需要的,那我就允許你吧
262
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,216
但要把對講機打開
263
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,010
收到,但如果沒電了,我不會換電池喔
264
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,221
好吧,想跟我去主屋嗎?
265
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,807
我來做午飯,想不想吃熱口袋三明治?
266
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:23,891
熱口袋?
267
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:27,144
妳知道嗎?我們就進屋吧
我拿給妳看,妳就知道了
268
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,898
再跟我說一次
你用來煮飯的那個玩意兒叫什麼?
269
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,149
列寧的午餐便當?
270
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:34,360
很接近了,是叫微波爐
271
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,820
如果妳喜歡熱口袋
272
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,989
我可以介紹更多的新創美食給妳
273
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,617
我先請妳想像一下...
274
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:44,203
如果漢堡可以幫助妳?
275
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,288
我會問漢堡可以得到什麼好處?
276
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,915
孩子,天下沒有白吃的午餐
277
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,543
德特姑媽,既然現在妳回不了妳的掩體
278
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,003
也許我們可以一起協助妳進入現代生活
279
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:56,215
好耶,我很想發表女性主義歷史的演講
280
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,299
讓妳跟上時代
281
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,843
我要把這命名為「茱蒂X演講」
282
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:02,179
我會穿上黑色的套頭毛衣走來走去
283
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:05,141
- 動不動就這樣敲手指
- 不用了,謝謝
284
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,852
要不我們今晚開始幫妳補齊那些好電影?
285
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,521
好耶,我們可以用兩部經典劇情片開場
286
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,441
史柯西斯的《殘酷大街》
和亞當山德勒的《萬聖節救星修比》
287
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,776
德特姑媽,我是穆恩,妳收到了嗎?
288
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:16,861
我是德楚德
289
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,654
我現在想聽音樂
290
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,698
妳推薦哪一張黑膠?
291
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:24,285
我一向偏愛《原子彈舞曲》
292
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,621
或者如果你真的很想跳舞的話
我會放《小兒麻痺突襲》
293
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,418
準備好你的鐵肺,開始跳舞吧
294
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,920
我們正在跳《小兒麻痺突襲》
295
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,005
(爆米花)
296
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,965
(義大利麵,炒蛋)
(感恩節晚餐粉)
297
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,469
{\an8}(星期二)
298
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,138
{\an8}- 有人在嗎?該上學了
- 我不要,大塊頭
299
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,807
如果我告訴你放學後我們要帶德特姑媽
300
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,894
去惠普頓的漆彈怪打漆彈呢?
301
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:53,814
我會說在被稱為「浪漫的拒絕」的
漆彈打到之後
302
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,483
我不想再玩了
303
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,152
好吧,穆恩,再給你一天
304
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,614
{\an8}(從鉚釘女工蘿西到梅根尤物
「她的故事」)
305
00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:04,074
{\an8}(星期三)
306
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,951
{\an8}好的,兒子,你的掩體通行證被撤銷了
307
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,828
{\an8}但你的鬆餅通行證剛剛通過了
308
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,538
我也很想吃鬆餅,爸
309
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:12,792
但我被拒絕的苦澀糖漿燙傷了舌頭
310
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,796
我現在不想吃東西,也不想有人陪
311
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,177
想跳舞嗎?
312
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:26,847
(時尚)
313
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,265
(願上帝保佑每個恨我的人)
314
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,067
好吧,我問妳,娜塔莉
315
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,944
拖把在太空被稱做什麼?
316
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,489
我的天,妳好好笑
317
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,115
吸塵器
318
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:46,909
妳在等人嗎?
319
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,786
- 走開啦
- 我不走
320
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,246
穆恩,已經四天了
321
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,539
你給我出來
322
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,998
日子對我來說毫無意義
323
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,292
那是賀卡產業發明出來的東西
324
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:58,420
聽好,我們要去商場了
我真不敢相信我會說出這句話
325
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:02,132
但如果你從這個該死的地洞裡出來
跟我們一起去,我就...
326
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:06,178
我就會買RS4-70蒸氣石弓組給你
327
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:09,223
爸爸,我在掩體裡要石弓組做什麼?
328
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,307
你在開玩笑嗎?
329
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:14,687
你每天求我買RS4-70給你求了兩年了
330
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:18,524
我那時太天真了
但我現在看得比娜塔莉更清楚了
331
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,942
娜塔莉是誰?
332
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,861
爸,我不會為了石弓出去
333
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,321
任何事都吸引不了我
我現在只想待在掩體裡
334
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,115
我要一輩子待在這裡
335
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,209
- 睡不著嗎,大頭呆?
- 對
336
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,377
- 妳呢?
- 我也是
337
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:42,506
我一直打給老朋友,想敘舊
結果發現他們已經過世20年了
338
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,716
LOL
339
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,718
我用對了嗎?是「失去很多」的意思吧?
340
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,887
總之,你在難過什麼?
341
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,430
我只是很擔心穆恩
342
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,891
他之前離群索居過,但從來不曾這樣
343
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,602
你從來沒想過要消失在這世上一會兒嗎?
344
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,105
當然有,我超愛消失的
但要消失到什麼時候?
345
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:01,233
對啦,我很幸運,舞會發生在我離開之前
346
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,568
那是我這輩子最美好的一晚
347
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,487
我朋友梅連達偷偷帶進一瓶薄荷朱利普酒
348
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,073
在我們一起在極光下嘔吐之前
349
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,659
我們整個晚上都在唱跳瑪麗威爾斯的歌
350
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,703
聽起來是個相當開心的一晚
351
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,872
開心極了
352
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,041
好的,我受夠了
353
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,878
就算我得挖穿地殼
從掩體的地板鑽出來把他拖出去
354
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,755
穆恩也得去參加
355
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,132
為小學生練習舞會辦的小學生舞會練習班
356
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,800
你不用走到那一步
357
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,010
別告訴俄國仔
358
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,471
但掩體其中一面牆純粹是三夾板
359
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,556
我到最後把蓋掩體的錢都花光了
360
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,726
你只需要挖兩吋深,狠踢一下就可以了
361
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,648
這是怎麼回事?
362
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:44,026
穆恩,再過12小時
為小學生練習舞會辦的
363
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,153
小學生舞會練習班就要開始了
你一定得去
364
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,613
- 我絕不去
- 夠了
365
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,574
我不會再讓你把生命浪費在這個墳墓裡
366
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,659
這話很失禮喔
367
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,327
你想得美,嬰兒潮世代
368
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,957
他跑到...我兒子人呢?
369
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,210
我想他發現了備用掩體
370
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,128
這個掩體還有備用掩體?
371
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,255
- 而妳竟然沒告訴我?
- 都怪我
372
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:07,424
你沒聽過「都怪我」這種說法喔,比夫?
373
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:11,261
這是我在這週學會的
幾個有趣俚語之一,我很喜歡
374
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:12,471
好順口
375
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,597
都怪我
376
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:21,063
穆恩,拜託你,你不能住在
地洞裡的地洞裡
377
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:25,025
只要有人定期將一些豆子
滴進通風口,我就可以
378
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:27,736
- 嚴格來說,此言不虛
- 兒子,我明白你的感受
379
00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:30,364
找回你的德特姑媽讓我體會到
380
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,534
我們托賓一家天生就有掩體思惟
381
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:36,620
但你姑媽和我沒有為你立下好的榜樣
382
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,039
- 你說啥?我明明就很了不起
- 我同意
383
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,251
穆恩,你想想如果你真的待在這裡的話
你會錯失多少東西
384
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:46,422
你的靴子踩在八月
剛落下的雪上嘎吱作響的聲音
385
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,049
或者在太陽升起時喝的第一口咖啡
386
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,801
《一擲千金》呢?
387
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,720
你好愛看豪伊談成交易
388
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,972
廢話連篇,爸
389
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,391
德特姑媽沒有那些東西一樣活得好好的
而且她好完美
390
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,892
我要向她看齊
391
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:00,853
穆恩,聽好
392
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,605
我很清楚你的感受
393
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,900
有時候我們會感到這個世界
像個可怕的大型共產黨組織
394
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,028
試圖暴力入侵阿拉斯加
395
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,697
讓妳的地下女友梅連達跟妳分手
396
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,658
這樣她就可以嫁給瓦西拉蜜糖之王法蘭克
397
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,411
那實在不太算是我的感受
398
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,205
等等,梅連達?
跟妳一起參加舞會和嘔吐的那個人?
399
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,291
所以妳才躲進這裡
400
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,543
主要是因為蘇聯啦
401
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:28,172
但是,對啦,也有一點點是因為
地下女友嫁給法蘭克這件事
402
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,424
所以,妳也被拒絕了?
403
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,510
被拒絕得可慘了
當那些蘇聯坦克入侵沿岸...
404
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,762
那是地震
405
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:38,724
我在那天早上得知梅連達嫁給了法蘭克
406
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,560
我明白那種感受,昆恩不只拒絕了我
407
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,270
她還跟別人去舞會
408
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:45,272
我唯一的選擇只有躲到掩體裡
409
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,648
就跟妳一樣,德特姑媽
410
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,735
幾天之前,我會同意你的看法
411
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,154
但自從你們把我從
我的藏身之處哄出來之後
412
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,573
我發現我錯過了好多事
413
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,033
例如吐司特果餡卷
414
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,410
還有動態的色情片
415
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:01,205
以及大環境對我這種女孩愈來愈友善了
416
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:04,333
這些全都是了不起的進展
417
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,376
對啦,我明白你會想跟我一樣
418
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,296
因為我基本上就是我今早看的那部電影
419
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,923
《2015大明星小跟班》裡的文斯
420
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,634
但是,穆恩,別學我這個部分
421
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:17,221
我知道你看不到我
但我正對著掩體比手勢
422
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,640
但如果我破碎的心永遠無法癒合呢?
423
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,558
妳癒合了嗎?
424
00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:22,726
我想是吧
425
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:26,188
我其實在想著
我要約餐廳那個火辣的女服務生出去
426
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:29,399
你們一副大驚小怪的樣子
但她立刻就向我拋了媚眼
427
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,443
你和昆恩或許沒有緣分
428
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,530
但你可能會在襪子舞會或海味野餐會
429
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,782
或披頭四的演唱會認識另一個辣妹
430
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,702
天啊,我真想再見到我最愛的約翰和喬治
431
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:41,912
- 天啊
- 怎麼了?
432
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,080
沒事
433
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,748
德特姑媽說得對,穆恩
434
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,625
你會有個很棒的人生
435
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,418
如果錯過了就太可惜了
436
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:52,089
我願意再給社會一次機會
437
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,299
如果德特姑媽答應我的請求
438
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,801
放手一試吧,玩咖
439
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,470
這句不是俚語嗎?哈尼碧耍我?
440
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,972
(0619郵局)
441
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,147
太厲害了,美國太空總署搞懂了
如何用薯片做湯匙?
442
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,314
(徹夜準備)
443
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:10,774
漢姆聽到一定會大吃一驚
444
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:13,944
德特姑媽,我想漢姆
早就知道了托斯提托斯玉米片
445
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,904
嗨,穆恩,很高興在今晚見到你
446
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,823
哈囉,昆恩,妳的舞伴呢?
447
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,491
我準備好跟他握手了
448
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,368
穆恩,這是我的舞伴,大衛
449
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:22,619
大衛,這是穆恩
450
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:25,455
妳為了一隻穿了背心的大肚豬拒絕我?
451
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:27,791
牠還穿了小褲子,但牠會大在褲子上
452
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,376
- 然後再把大便吃掉
- 是喔
453
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,212
我拒絕你是因為這是個練習舞會
454
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,047
所以我想要帶個練習舞伴
455
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,716
而且大衛超愛跳舞的
456
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,427
這樣的話,介意我請牠跳支舞嗎?
457
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,429
我好多年沒跳舞了
458
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,098
可以請妳跳舞嗎?
459
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,652
你看過這個嗎?iPod Nano?
460
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:56,862
看看它有多小
461
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,405
你猜裡面可以裝幾首歌?
462
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:00,699
- 一千億首
- 差不多
463
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,534
他們接下來會發明什麼?
464
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,077
我想我到時就知道了,對吧?
465
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,997
你可以繼續帶有趣的東西來掩體找我
466
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,999
因為艙口永遠為你開放
467
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,876
真的,多虧了你爸爸
468
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,795
好的,艙門的鎖全都拿掉了
469
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:16,798
除非艙口當中的艙口還有艙口?
470
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:17,883
沒了,就這樣
471
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,510
我只希望不會有共產黨在半夜闖進來
472
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:23,555
好的,連尼布魯斯,那不好笑
不要拿這種事開玩笑
473
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,099
如果你想要開玩笑的話
至少該用真實事件
474
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,310
例如,為什麼救生員不救嬉皮人士呢?
475
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,812
因為他遠在天邊,兄弟
476
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,065
{\an8}你得救我,醫生
477
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,567
{\an8}我總是覺得累到不行
478
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:40,906
{\an8}比利,你試試波傑哥醫生能量餅乾
479
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,915
{\an8}當你感到有點懶洋洋的時候
480
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,500
{\an8}不太有精神
481
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,336
{\an8}你祈求這天快快過去
482
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,088
{\an8}吃一塊波傑哥醫生
483
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,925
{\an8}當今所有醫生開的處方箋藥物成分
484
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,427
{\an8}這個餅乾裡全都有
485
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,846
字幕翻譯:歐德慧