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♪ Look up there ♪
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- ♪ What do you see? ♪
- ♪ Nature and stuff ♪
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- ♪ Like a rock ♪
- ♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,719
♪ Hup, the Great North ♪
5
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{\an8}♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪
♪ Hup, hey, oh ♪
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00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:16,891
{\an8}- ♪ Catch some fish ♪
- ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
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{\an8}♪ Wow ♪
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{\an8}♪ Hup, the Great North ♪
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♪ Here we live ♪
♪ Hup, oh ♪
10
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- ♪ Here we'll stay ♪
- ♪ Whoo ♪
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♪ From longest night to longest day ♪
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♪ In the Great North ♪
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{\an8}...and because Rose only played dumb
but was actually a manipulative snake,
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{\an8}I have to put Dorothy
as my number one Golden Girl.
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{\an8}- Uh, Judy?
- Huh, what?
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{\an8}Falling asleep during my Golden Girls
ratings chat is very rude.
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{\an8}Oh, sorry, Alanis.
I didn't mean to doze off,
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{\an8}but, you know, midsummer, the Alaskan sky
is only dark for a very short window,
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{\an8}and it's like 2 a.m. right now,
so I am trying my best.
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{\an8}Okay? And I do want to hear more
of your GG rankings. I love it.
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{\an8}But the whole reason I came out here
was to talk about me
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{\an8}and, uh, the clock is a-ticking.
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{\an8}Oh, yeah.
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{\an8}This time of the year
is a little tough for you, huh?
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{\an8}Since the summer solstice thing in general
is seen as kind of a sacred time
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{\an8}for mothers and daughters.
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{\an8}And all the mothers and daughters
in Lone Moose
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{\an8}hold that big softball tournament.
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{\an8}Maybe you feel a little,
I don't know, left out.
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{\an8}Uh, okay, that was a lot of assuming
for an imaginary friend.
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{\an8}And look, maybe I do have a longing
to play softball with my mom
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{\an8}and have a mother-daughter catch.
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{\an8}But actually,
that's not what I wanna talk about.
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{\an8}Okay. Lay it on me.
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{\an8}Well, you know how I've been
displaying my paintings on the wall
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{\an8}outside the Maude's All-Day bathrooms?
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{\an8}Um, I've now sold 15 paintings.
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Oh, well, hey, I'm so proud of you.
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Yeah. So I don't even care about all
the mother-daughter stuff going on
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because, clearly,
I'm actually thriving right now.
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Well, it doesn't surprise me, Judy.
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Heartache can lead to
some really powerful art.
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I never could have written
"Head Over Feet"
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if my ferret, Devon, hadn't gotten stuck
in that Pringles can and died.
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Judy, wake up. Don't fall off the roof.
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Yep, in I...
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- ...go.
- Okay, she's--
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Yep, that'll have to do.
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Look at this gorgeous beast!
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Gentlemen, we've created
a cabbage patch full-grown adult.
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It makes the Incredible Hulk
look like an incredible pile of trash.
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This dense-leaf daddy's gonna
get first place
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in the Longest Day
Largest Vegetable Parade for sure!
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Yep, just a few days to go.
I'll stay on prune duty.
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I've already fortified the crap out
of the fence.
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And, Dad, if I could borrow the generator,
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I'd like to crank 2000 volts
through this thing.
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Well, Ham and I have been mostly reading
or playing music for the cabbage
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since studies show
it can help their growth,
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but today we are taking it
to the next level with some ASMR.
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Listen to the soil.
It mushes with the hum of life.
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Wonderful, boys.
Love how focused this team is.
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Hey, Dad, before we go in,
can I give him a little kiss?
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Absolutely, Son.
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Got another painting for you, Maude.
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Looks like another banger, Judy.
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Am I using that right?
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No.
- Oh, well.
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Hey, you gonna stop by the mother-daughter
softball tournament today?
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Rebecca and Susanna Peterson
got caught corking bats.
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They've been banned for life
so it's anyone's game.
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{\an8}Um, no. No, I'm-I'm not.
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{\an8}All the mother-daughter stuff this time
of year, it's not-- I don't know,
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{\an8}it's a little much, don't you think?
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{\an8}I mean, we get it. Mothers have daughters,
daughters have mothers.
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Boring.
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What I really need is to know
who's been buying these paintings?
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Would love to know more about my fandom.
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Actually,
the same person's bought all of 'em.
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Really? Who is it?
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Oh, I-I don't know who they are,
but they're always wearing a big shroud.
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That's kind of weird.
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- Are you overwhelmed by the painting?
- No, I'm overwhelmed by breakfast clams.
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Gotta go. Move, move.
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Hey, Jerry, over here.
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Ready to enjoy
some mother-daughter slow pitch?
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Oh, hell yeah.
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It's good to be back in a ballpark.
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I've really missed going to watch
our home team, the Fresno Footlongs.
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Mm-hmm. And eating
all the footlongs in the stands.
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I'd eat so many, I'd get sick.
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Me too. And not to be gross,
and I know it's not possible,
93
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but I'm pretty sure one time one
came out intact in the bun and everything.
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Couldn't help but overhear you
'cause I was actively eavesdropping,
95
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but they don't sell hot dogs here.
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What? No footlongs?
Oh, this is a nightmare.
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Oh, wait, hey, hey.
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If you got a little footlong money
burning a hole in your pocket,
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I got a special deal
on something pretty fun.
100
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Oh, yeah. I love those stupid giant hands.
We'll take two.
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Oh, but I see
you've each got two hands there.
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The man has a point, HB.
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Uh-oh, I'm getting
a severe case of foam-mo
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{\an8}'cause of those absolutely
rad foam fingers you guys got on.
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Oh, yeah, these things are fun as hell.
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{\an8}You can do exaggerated pointing,
pretend to pick your nose.
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I mean, I might never take 'em off.
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Oh, really?
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Well, I might never take mine off either.
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Wanna make it interesting?
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- Oh, no. Now, don't turn this into that.
- Into what?
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When we were kids, Honeybee always
made me do these stupid bets,
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and she'd always win.
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{\an8}Not always.
You went the longest eating just pickles.
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Yeah, but I got
a really bad vitamin deficiency,
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and I lost my eyesight for 42 hours.
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Well, if you think bets are stupid,
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I guess you might as well just
take off your foam fingers now.
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No. You take off your foam fingers.
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Never. I want you to bury me
with these on.
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Sticking out the dirt like this.
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So everyone will know
I'm number one at being dead.
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Judy, wait.
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Your new painting sold.
Right before you came in.
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Same fan.
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Maude, is there anything else
you can tell me about this person?
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00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,805
Well, I think it's a woman
and when she paid,
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00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,975
I did see she had the letters RBG
tattooed on her wrist.
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00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,852
Hmm, could be for Ruth Bader Ginsburg,
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00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:14,439
could be for Rhonda "Balloons" Grundelman,
owner of the balloon store in Death Cliff,
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I mean, both iconoclasts in their own way.
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Oh, and her car had a bumper sticker
that said,
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"If you don't like how I'm driving,
check your sexism."
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A feminist who loves
my paintings?
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I'm going to find you, sweet soul sister.
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Uh, so, do you want your 15 bucks or--
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Oh, yes, but I am also gonna stare
wistfully out the window just a bit more.
138
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So you're gonna stalk and follow
this mystery-buyer woman?
139
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Judy, I never wanna limit
your creative ideas,
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but in this instance,
I actually very much do.
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I've gotta meet her.
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I mean, it's nice to think
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that an adult lady
thinks my paintings are good.
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The only time my actual mom
showed any interest in my art
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was when she made me doodle
on her bar bills
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so the waiters would think it was cute
when she left without paying.
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And you're sure this isn't just
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about the summer solstice
mother-daughter softball thing?
149
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,656
Pfft. Alanis, I don't even have time
to think about something
150
00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:07,992
like having a classic mother-daughter
catch anymore.
151
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,870
I'm too busy blowing the damn minds
of the Lone Moose art world.
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Okay, I just--
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All right, sweet dreams, Alanis.
Gotta get some sleep.
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Big stakeout tomorrow.
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Hey, Dad, can you give me a ride
to Maude's?
156
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No can do, Judy.
It's the cabbage's bath time.
157
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Okay, I guess I'll go see
if Ham or Wolf can take me.
158
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,929
Wolf, Ham, where are you?
159
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,555
Ah, I've been shot.
160
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,933
Oh, no. My husband, Abraham Lincoln.
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00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,893
Guys, can either of you give me a ride
to town?
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Judy, please! Don't interrupt.
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We're rehearsing our historical pageant
to present to the cabbage.
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Is Honeybee around?
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00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,235
Oh, no, she took Jerry bowling.
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Thinks that'll make him
take his foam fingers off.
167
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,323
Oh, my God!
168
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Fine, I'll just get Lone Moose's Lone Uber
since everybody's too busy for me.
169
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,370
Ugh. Read the room, Judy.
170
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,455
You're in a crowded theater,
and I've just been shot.
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00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,084
All right, Maude.
I just gotta meet this mystery-buyer woman
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who's been buying all my paintings.
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So I'm just gonna sit right here
174
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and wait until she shows up again
so I don't miss her.
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You just missed her.
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00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:05,633
Oh, no.
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00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,886
Oh, crap. Look, Kyle,
I need your scooter quick.
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00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:10,388
What's mine is yours, Jude dude.
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00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,014
Bring her back with a full tank of gas.
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00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,558
- It's electric.
- You heard me.
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00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,023
Wow. Looks like she's an artist too.
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00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,150
Wow wow wee waa.
183
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,152
Hello there.
Oh, sorry.
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00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:28,614
I'm just doing a routine, uh, peek in--
into your home home inspection.
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00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,451
And it's completely normal stuff
and, by the way, yours looks great.
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00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:35,663
Sorry, I'm lying. I am not a peek
into your home home inspector.
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00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,958
Um, I'm actually the person who painted
all of those paintings you've been buying.
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00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,670
Please don't call 911 because you found
a weird girl lady looking into your house.
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00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,964
What? Call 911? No way.
190
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:48,176
You're the painter. I'm Sherry.
Probably your biggest fan.
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00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,677
Oh. Uh, thank you.
192
00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:52,388
I just had to meet the person
who's attached to the eyes
193
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,764
that really like my art.
194
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,808
Well, I'm so glad you found me.
195
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,436
Your art, it-- it speaks to me.
196
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:01,022
- No, no. It screams to me!
- Really?
197
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,025
Yeah, I was just scrolling through
my social media one day, and I was like,
198
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,862
"Hold the phone, chicken bone. This
would look amazing in my living room."
199
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,030
So I bought the painting,
200
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,532
and it did look amazing,
so I bought another one.
201
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,493
No, I did! I swear I did!
202
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,161
Well, they do look great in there.
203
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,997
You seem like a really insightful
young lady to me, Judy.
204
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,248
Oh, wow, thank you.
205
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,666
I do follow The Artist's Way.
206
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,919
Well, if I bought the book.
I'm gonna buy the book.
207
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,879
Oh. You'll have to let me borrow that one.
208
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:28,007
You know, Judy, I think
we were destined to meet here today.
209
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,344
And I think we are destined
to have lunch together tomorrow.
210
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,889
You, me, that new high tea place
in the mall, The Gentle Tea Bag.
211
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,307
What do you say? I'm buying.
212
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,601
Yeah. Well, yes, that sounds fun.
213
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,436
- Thanks, Sherry.
- Oh, yay. Girls lunch.
214
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:43,856
Okay. So here's my card just in case
anything comes up before tomorrow.
215
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,192
It's got my number and, oh-- and my blog.
216
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,486
But, ew, it's so stupid.
Don't read it.
217
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,488
"MotherGoddessMayI.com."
218
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,073
Mother Goddess, is that you?
219
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,784
Oh, yeah. It's just this thing
some of my close friends call me.
220
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,577
You know, like an inside joke or whatever.
221
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,496
I can't even remember
how it started anymore,
222
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,164
but I already committed
to the domain name.
223
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,874
So, you know, here we are.
224
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:05,127
I get that. It's like when I committed
to the surfer look in fifth grade.
225
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,630
I put zinc on my nose
and called everybody bruh.
226
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,509
Yeah. It feels like we really
do get each other. Don't we, Judy?
227
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,219
I really think we do, Sherry.
228
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,555
Oh, come on.
You can call me Mother Goddess.
229
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,932
- Oh, oh. Oh.
- Joking, joking.
230
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,518
Okay. See you tomorrow,
my favorite artist in the world.
231
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,520
See you tomorrow too, my favorite--
232
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,981
my favorite person
who buys my art in the world.
233
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,696
You guys will not believe
what happened to me today.
234
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,072
Look at this one.
235
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,074
I swear to God our cabbage is smiling.
236
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,409
Dad, text that one to me.
237
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,535
Are those biceps?
238
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,538
Is it weird that I think he could
rescue me from a burning building?
239
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,915
So I guess no one wants to hear
what I was gonna say, uh.
240
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,751
My pruning's really paying off.
He's my pride and joy.
241
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:48,421
Ham and I sat down
and watched Garden State with him today.
242
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,007
Ugh, it was incredible. We all wept.
243
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,384
Wow, you guys are acting fully bonkers.
244
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,553
Honeybee, you can probably
take those off. Jerry's not here.
245
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,013
{\an8}You only think he's not here.
246
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,931
{\an8}I guarantee you he's hiding
somewhere in this house
247
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,600
{\an8}trying to catch me removing them,
so he can win.
248
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,809
I'm sure he's not here.
249
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,729
- Bless you, Jerry.
- Thank you, Sis.
250
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,106
But I'm still gonna win.
Curse you, Sis.
251
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,026
Okay, well, I'm gonna go eat in my room
and paint another painting for Sherry,
252
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,862
I guess, since she's the only person
who seems to give a crap about me.
253
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,946
Bye, Judy.
254
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,950
And how are we enjoying
our corgis in a blanket?
255
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,619
Royally.
256
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,788
Judy, this new painting,
it's breathtaking.
257
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,582
Your parents must be so proud.
258
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:28,753
Uh, it's actually just parent. Singular.
Just my dad who's great.
259
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,046
But his usual compliment
260
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:34,425
of "another fine piece by Jude"
can only carry my self-esteem so far.
261
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,802
Hmm, tell me more
about this figure in the stars.
262
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,429
It's in so many of your paintings.
263
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:40,431
She seems almost maternal.
264
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,850
Oh, well, I hope this doesn't sound crazy.
265
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:47,063
I kind of see someone
in the Northern Lights sometimes,
266
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,981
and I tell her my secrets.
267
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,983
That doesn't sound crazy at all.
268
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,320
I also talk to, well,
I like to call them sky beings.
269
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,446
Really? You do?
270
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,530
Oh, yeah.
271
00:10:56,530 --> 00:11:00,409
I've had incredible conversations
with history makers all across the cosmos.
272
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:03,037
Albert Einstein, Serena Williams,
Dennis the Menace.
273
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,748
It's kind of the basis
of the spiritual stuff I'm into.
274
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,209
- Now, tell me about the boat.
- Oh, that's my family's boat.
275
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,462
Your family has a boat?
Well, I'd love to see it.
276
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,464
Hey, maybe you can take me
for a tour sometime.
277
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,840
Well, we could even go tonight.
278
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,094
It'd be so much fun to do something
together on the transversal.
279
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,512
- The what?
- Oh, sorry.
280
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,514
Just a fancy term
for the longest day of the year.
281
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,766
Also, I'm sure it's too short notice
to go tonight.
282
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:24,975
You know what? Just forget it.
283
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:27,311
No, no, I don't wanna forget it.
I'll check with my dad.
284
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,438
Well, if you insist.
285
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,482
Ooh, they've got free mints
by the register.
286
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,900
Let me go load up my purse.
287
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,777
Excuse me. Could I get a box
for my leftovers?
288
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:37,363
My brother Moon's not going to believe
they make whole sandwiches
289
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,614
only out of cucumbers.
290
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:41,492
Sure thing.
Hey, uh, are you in that lady's cult?
291
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,494
What? I don't think she has a cult.
292
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,578
Oh, no, she does.
293
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:47,248
My cousin Perry was in it for a month
while he was unemployed.
294
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,668
He only got out when he moved
to Wyoming to join a different cult.
295
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,336
Anyway, I'll go box these up for ya.
296
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:54,088
All right. Well, toodle-oo, Jud-a-loo.
297
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,881
Hey, let me know about that boat, okay?
298
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,342
It'd be great to continue our friendship
in the next realm.
299
00:11:58,342 --> 00:11:59,969
- Uh, sorry, what?
- Cult.
300
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,430
Oh, I almost forgot.
I made you a little something.
301
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,932
It's your moonstone,
your birthstone, your sunstone,
302
00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:07,518
and just a little stone I found
in the dirt outside my trailer
303
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,228
that I thought looked neat. Here. Catch!
304
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,439
You catch.
305
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,442
Uh, what?
I-I made this for you.
306
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,526
Thanks. Love it.
307
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,027
What? What are we doing?
308
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:19,029
Oh, you're so fun. Here.
Just keep it, Judy.
309
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:22,241
- All right. I'll see you later.
- Mother-daughter catch.
310
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,661
Hey, Dad. Before we all head
to the Largest Vegetable Parade,
311
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,621
could I-- um, can I talk to you for a sec?
312
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:28,748
Give me a minute, Judy.
313
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:32,418
Moon's insisting he ride in the trailer
with the cabbage, which is ridiculous
314
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,253
because I need to sit back here.
315
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,338
Okay, Dad, I'll just ask you
my question in the car.
316
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,215
Gonna go grab my sunglasses. Brb.
317
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:41,177
I said it once, I'll say it again.
He belongs on my lap.
318
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,803
No one is riding with the cabbage.
319
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,096
He needs to meditate.
320
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:47,224
Guys, we're gonna be late.
Let's just go.
321
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,810
Please put on the mix tape
we made for the cabbage, Dad.
322
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,354
It's all Huey Lewis, and he likes it loud.
323
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,565
♪ I used to be a renegade ♪
324
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,234
Hey. Hey, come back.
325
00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,488
Okay. It, uh, seems
like my family left without me.
326
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,240
I guess I don't have to ask permission
to show Sherry the boat
327
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,160
because no one asked me
for my permission to adopt a cabbage
328
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,121
and worship the ground it--
it cabbages on.
329
00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:13,417
Hey, Sherry. I'm "a-boat"
to make you very happy.
330
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,044
We are on for that tour.
331
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,880
Cover his eyes.
He's gonna get psyched out.
332
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:18,964
He's shaking.
333
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,841
Well, if Moon hadn't been
so overprotective--
334
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,343
Sorry I give a damn.
335
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,595
Greetings,
Lone Moose vegetable lovers.
336
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:27,389
The parade to the judging tent
will begin shortly.
337
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:32,102
And remember, I'm the only judge.
No checks or balances today.
338
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,939
Oh, look, it's starting.
Sunrise, sunset, et cetera, et cetera.
339
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,440
Let's all get along. Here we go.
340
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,943
Hey, Sherry.
You, uh, y-you brought some friends?
341
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:42,363
Oh, these are just two of my buddies
from my spiritual group. Corey and Maria.
342
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,698
- What is up?
- It's amazing to meet you.
343
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,200
Don't get freaked out by the shrouds.
344
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,495
I mostly wear it because it has a lot
of pockets to hold all my Beanie Babies.
345
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,831
We have a thing later.
So I just thought they could tag along.
346
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,624
Oh, uh, sure, I guess. Yeah.
347
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:57,127
Um, I'll just give you a quick tour.
Welcome aboard The Mighty Kathleen.
348
00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:58,587
Uh, FYI, I'm gonna skip the bathroom
349
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,048
because you can never truly clean
a 30-year-old toilet.
350
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,343
And here is the dent from
where I knocked out two of my baby teeth
351
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,011
and then later, two of my adult teeth.
352
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,806
And this is the wheel I use to steer
when it's my turn to drive.
353
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,766
- You steer this big boat?
- Uh-huh.
354
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,018
You truly are an amazement, Judy.
355
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,979
You just have to take us out on the water.
356
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:18,399
Well, I shouldn't without asking my dad,
even though he'd probably just ignore me
357
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,693
and say something about the cabbage.
So, you know what?
358
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,987
Yeah, let's do it.
Just a quick little jaunt.
359
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,322
Do you mind if I take my Beanie Babies
out of my pocket
360
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,740
so they can watch us sail?
361
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,701
Um, yeah, sure. That's fine.
362
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,536
Did you hear that, guys?
She said it's cool.
363
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,954
Well, this is it.
364
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,707
The Mother Goddess
is out on the Salvation Vessel
365
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,834
with the Daughter of the Prophecy.
Who?
366
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,211
And we're headed
to the transversal vortex.
367
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,921
What are you talking about?
368
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,424
Oh, sorry.
The transversal is simply the door
369
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,093
through which we can all depart
the earthly plane for the multi-realm.
370
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,679
Yeah, me and the babies
just gotta get to the next realm.
371
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:49,889
She looks really confused
372
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,308
for being the Daughter of the Prophecy,
Mother Goddess.
373
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,977
All of this is on my blog, Judy.
I assumed you read it.
374
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,562
Did you-- Did you not read it?
375
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,607
Uh, no. No one reads anyone's blog,
Sherry. It's not the '90s.
376
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,358
Well, uh, let me give you the headlines.
377
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,569
This earth will be dissolving
this very evening
378
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:07,156
and the lucky few who are on this boat
will be departing for the next realm.
379
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,741
Oh, and speaking of departing,
380
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,577
I'm just gonna use the little
Mother Goddess's room real quick.
381
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,038
Hey, Corey, Maria,
can you keep an eye on her?
382
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,414
She's my favorite.
383
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,082
{\an8}Oh, no. Cult.
384
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:23,464
{\an8}I'm so excited to vibrate
into the next realm with you, Julie.
385
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:27,426
{\an8}Yeah, same. This realm is...
...whatever.
386
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,345
{\an8}Yep, and it's happening just in time.
387
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,348
{\an8}I'm in so much debt from buying Pelotons.
I have so many.
388
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:36,310
{\an8}I can't sit, stand or lie down in my home.
Which is also being repossessed.
389
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,562
{\an8}And I've been collecting
all the Beanie Babies ever made
390
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,648
{\an8}and I'm only missing Large Wallace
and his squad
391
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,358
{\an8}and I can't find them anywhere.
392
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,276
{\an8}But Sherry told me
there's a mint condition set
393
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,028
{\an8}waiting for me in the next realm.
394
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:50,407
Uh, and to, um, get
to the next realm, you have to, uh--
395
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:52,534
Oh, don't worry.
It'll just seem like we're dying.
396
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:56,121
Oh, perfect. Great. Great. Well, well,
this was fun... [chuckles] ...wasn't it?
397
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,832
But I'm just gonna turn
the boat around now and, uh, head back.
398
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:00,250
Hey.
399
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,794
Uh-uh-uh, no turning back now.
400
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,878
Oh, God.
401
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,880
Catch her! Sit on her! Maria, sit on her!
402
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,924
Footlongs! Get your footlongs!
403
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,801
Oh, boy. They actually
have footlongs tonight.
404
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,679
Over here. We'll take two.
Just let me, uh...
405
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,682
- Dang it.
- Wait, maybe I can get my wallet.
406
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:15,766
You guys gonna pay or what?
407
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,227
Ugh. Are we really gonna
miss out on footlongs?
408
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,937
- They're our favorite.
- I know.
409
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,647
Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Jerry?
410
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,108
- On three? One, two, three.
- One, two, three.
411
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,693
Oh, what the hell?
412
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,654
Ha! Honeybee Shaw,
stupid bet champion of the world!
413
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,740
- Did I do it right? That what you needed?
- You hired this guy?
414
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,075
Hell yeah, I hired him.
415
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:36,078
Well played, Sis.
At least tell me the footlongs are real.
416
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,038
Of course they're real. I'm not a monster.
417
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:40,499
Now I can finally check my phone.
It's been days.
418
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,751
Hang on. What the-- Oh, no. Judy.
419
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:46,005
You're up, bud.
Remember, just have fun out there.
420
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,257
But also, holster your best stuff
for the judging.
421
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,508
When we pass Mayor Peppers,
422
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,427
I don't just want him
to see you're the best.
423
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,430
I want him to feel it.
I want him to know it.
424
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,890
{\an8}Guys, Judy's in trouble.
Beef, can you track the boat?
425
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,101
{\an8}I can on Londra's radar. What's happening?
426
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,811
{\an8}I'll tell you on the way. Let's go!
427
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:04,314
But we have to be present
during the judging or we're disqualified.
428
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:08,193
Moon, no. The large vegetable I care about
the most is your sister Judy. Let's go!
429
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:11,530
{\an8}Hey... [stammers] ...Santiago. You want
a soon-to-be prize-winning cabbage?
430
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,781
{\an8}We gotta go save our sis.
431
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,743
My own cabbage?
This is the best day of my life.
432
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:19,204
{\an8}You are, like,
surprisingly good at sitting on people.
433
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,415
So here's Billionaire the Bear...
434
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,834
...this is Biscuit from
Biscuit and the Gravy Dogs, obviously.
435
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:27,421
And of course, you probably know
my extremely limited Beanie Adult
436
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,215
Chef Joël Robuchon
of the Four Seasons, New York.
437
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:33,594
Hey, Sherry. I really don't wanna go
to the other realm.
438
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:34,803
Nonsense, Judy.
439
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:38,390
I've got something very special waiting
just for you beyond the transversal.
440
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,768
- Something you really want.
- Nope. That's okay.
441
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,644
I don't think there's anything
I want that bad.
442
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,398
Oh, please, Judy. It's so obvious
you're desperately in need of a mother.
443
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:49,693
Someone who will do anything for you
and you'll do anything for her.
444
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,862
It's practically bursting
out of your paintings.
445
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:55,157
I can be your Mother Goddess.
And our passage to the next realm
446
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,951
will cement you
as my Eternal Daughter of the Prophecy.
447
00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:01,914
- Aw, that's so sweet.
- What? That's not sweet. That is crazy.
448
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,250
You took advantage of me.
You tricked me with praise and bracelets.
449
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,752
Are you even an RBG fan?
450
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:10,047
Yes. Red, blue, green.
My favorite colors in order.
451
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,300
And that's not a bracelet, Judy.
That's a planar shift passport.
452
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,677
It guarantees your entry
to the next realm.
453
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:16,970
And I'm wearing this crown
454
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:20,307
because it will alert the dimensional
gate guards to my high stature.
455
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:24,895
Which again, Judy, you'd know all about
if you just read my blog!
456
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,730
Okay. I am realizing Alanis was right.
457
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:30,025
And I was looking for a mother figure
because this time of year blows for me.
458
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,693
But-But you're not it.
459
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:35,239
A real mother-daughter relationship
isn't about doing anything for each other.
460
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,157
I didn't wanna doodle
on my mom's bar tabs.
461
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,910
I wanted her to pay for her drinks
and also stop drinking.
462
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:40,994
That's a separate issue.
463
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:44,414
Wow, you need my maternal energy
so bad right now. It's insane.
464
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:47,417
No, Sherry. You know what? You're right.
I don't have a mom in my life,
465
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:50,212
but I do have a family,
and they are gonna be real mad at me
466
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,422
if I bite it out here
with you delusional freaks.
467
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:57,177
I don't need you.
You didn't even get my art.
468
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,513
It's about inequality in rural areas.
469
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,641
No! Chef Joël Robuchon Bear.
470
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,394
Judy. Look, it's the transversal.
471
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,229
Here we go.
472
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,524
It's just an iceberg, you loony tune.
473
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,776
No, no, no.
474
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,989
No! You ruined everything!
475
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,907
Oh, no. Did we miss the salvation?
476
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:22,035
Uh, no, the veil between worlds
is still super thin.
477
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,871
Let's just, uh, jump in the ocean.
478
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,290
No. The water is still very cold
in the summer.
479
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,542
You will die and there won't be
any Beanie Babies at all.
480
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,626
What? That can't be right.
481
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:32,212
Don't talk to my followers, Judy.
You are not my daughter.
482
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:35,716
You bet I'm not. And, Sherry,
I'll talk to whoever I want.
483
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:46,768
Judy, I'm sorry we all got so caught up
in the giant vegetable.
484
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,187
Thanks, Dad. I'm okay.
485
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,397
But I am sorry
I took a cult out on our boat.
486
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:54,026
And I kinda didn't want to say anything
because I don't ever want you to think
487
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,194
that you're not enough.
488
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,906
But I guess I have been sort of lonely
for a mother lately.
489
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,491
But then, when Sherry almost slammed
me into an iceberg,
490
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:05,370
I was thinking there are lots of ladies
in my life who care about me.
491
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:08,832
Like Kyle who lent me her scooter
and Alyson who encourages my art.
492
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:11,668
And Maude who let me
hang my paintings at her restaurant.
493
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:13,170
And don't forget about me, Judy.
494
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,380
You wouldn't even know
who Countess Luann de Lesseps was
495
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,465
without my guidance.
496
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,259
True. It's kinda like
I don't just have one regular mom.
497
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:20,969
I've got some kind of Frankenmom.
498
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:24,181
And she's made up of parts
of different people spread all over town.
499
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:29,603
An arm over here, a leg over there.
A heart at the-the, um-- the gazebo.
500
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,397
Oh, and when you guys aren't obsessed
with a stupid giant vegetable,
501
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,482
you're pretty okay too.
502
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,567
Sorry. We got kinda carried away.
503
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,070
- But I mean, did you see the cabbage?
- Moon.
504
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,739
Our lovable leafy lad
didn't even end up winning?
505
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:43,575
Ugh, the cabbage lost
to the Tuntleys' tomato.
506
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,160
Oh, ****!
507
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,121
Screw you, Judy.
Your paintings aren't even that good.
508
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:53,460
Not true. I saw her latest work.
It was in fact another fine piece by Jude.
509
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:54,878
Thanks, Dad.
510
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,762
{\an8}♪ He's the hero of the garden
His biceps are big and hard ♪
511
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,181
{\an8}♪ And he'll leave the villains
Black and blue ♪
512
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:09,434
{\an8}♪ He's a hell of a lover
Catches creeps while undercover ♪
513
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,728
{\an8}♪ He's a cabbage through and through ♪
514
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,190
{\an8}♪ High in vitamin C and vitamin K ♪
515
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:18,026
{\an8}♪ This mother-sprouting cabbage
Will save the day ♪
516
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:21,280
{\an8}♪ Crunchy and delicious
Strong and true ♪
517
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,573
{\an8}♪ He was grown to rescue you ♪
518
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:26,868
{\an8}♪ When the bad guys arrive
He'll make them not alive ♪
519
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:29,204
{\an8}♪ He's a cabbage through and through ♪
520
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:31,873
{\an8}♪ He's a cabbage through and through ♪