1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,169 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,396 --> 00:00:05,896 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:05,914 --> 00:00:07,655 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,991 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:13,587 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:14,755 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:14,907 --> 00:00:16,498 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,575 --> 00:00:17,591 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:21,169 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,354 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,081 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:25,524 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:29,486 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:31,423 --> 00:00:33,991 [cheering] 15 00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:37,052 [Judy sighs, groans] 16 00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,186 [crying, groaning] 17 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,522 What's with you? Do you have FOMO? 18 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,374 I just heard about that, 'cause Honeybee's been making me 19 00:00:42,526 --> 00:00:44,543 watch a show called Epic FOMO Failures. 20 00:00:44,694 --> 00:00:48,105 [sighs] I do not have FOMO, beloved Aunt Dirt. 21 00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:49,531 I have sad-o. 22 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,867 Because, alas, my relationship with Cool Mike 23 00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:54,127 has come to an end. 24 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,721 Wait, you were dating Cool Mike? 25 00:00:55,872 --> 00:00:56,722 How did I not know that? 26 00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:58,039 He's very cool. 27 00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,950 Did he break up with you in a cool way? 28 00:01:00,043 --> 00:01:01,510 Like on a skateboard or something? 29 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:03,287 He didn't dump me, okay? [short chuckle] 30 00:01:03,305 --> 00:01:05,956 It was a mutual and amicable decision. 31 00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:07,124 [crying] 32 00:01:07,142 --> 00:01:08,567 So then why the screams, teen dream? 33 00:01:08,718 --> 00:01:12,554 Because it is so sad when two equally cool people like us 34 00:01:12,648 --> 00:01:14,147 -can't make it work. -Oh. 35 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:16,633 Is that why there was no new episode of Judy on Blast 36 00:01:16,726 --> 00:01:17,892 on VidVok this morning? 37 00:01:17,986 --> 00:01:19,653 Yes, yes, I have ended the show. 38 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:22,897 Thank you for respecting my privacy at this difficult time. 39 00:01:22,991 --> 00:01:24,641 You know what, I think it's actually a good thing 40 00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:25,976 that you're this upset. 41 00:01:25,994 --> 00:01:27,978 In fact, I'm thrilled that you're this bummed. 42 00:01:27,996 --> 00:01:29,404 You are? 43 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,406 Yes. Whenever one of my female friends back in Fresno 44 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,592 was bummed, I'd organize an amazing ladies' night. 45 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,153 Your brother can tell you-- I have really been missing those. 46 00:01:36,171 --> 00:01:38,505 It's true. She sings Beyoncé's Renaissance album 47 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,174 beginning to end almost every night in her sleep. 48 00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:42,542 I'm gonna fix this for you, girl. 49 00:01:42,694 --> 00:01:45,162 A good ladies' night can cure any problem. 50 00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:47,331 What about a very tenacious foot fungus? 51 00:01:47,349 --> 00:01:48,332 No reason. 52 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,850 Oh, definitely. But you're not invited. 53 00:01:50,002 --> 00:01:52,502 Judy, you can keep eating. Just blink twice if you're in. 54 00:01:52,521 --> 00:01:54,095 -Blink, blink. -[Honeybee] Amazing. 55 00:01:54,189 --> 00:01:57,007 Trust me, Judy, I've planned hundreds of ladies' nights 56 00:01:57,025 --> 00:01:58,358 -over the years. -Hundreds? 57 00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,360 You're right. It's probably closer to thousands. 58 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,604 I threw one when Veronica got asymmetrical bangs, 59 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,772 and by the end of the night, I swear they were straight across. 60 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,851 I also threw one for Caroline when her lip fillers hardened 61 00:02:07,944 --> 00:02:09,128 into a sort of a beak. 62 00:02:09,279 --> 00:02:10,963 Your friends really shouldn't go to the salon. 63 00:02:11,156 --> 00:02:12,372 Aunt Dirt, you want in? 64 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,299 Uh, in my day, a girls' night meant meeting up 65 00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:16,784 at the Lone Moose Heterosexual Courting Society 66 00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:18,286 to have local men evaluate your hips 67 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,805 -for birthing. -[Honeybee] Nuh-uh. 68 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,974 On a Honeybee night, it's forbidden to talk about men. 69 00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:24,868 The only D's we're interested in are drinking, dancing 70 00:02:24,887 --> 00:02:27,962 and Domino's limited edition cheese-on-the-bottom pizza. 71 00:02:28,056 --> 00:02:28,981 Well, then I'm all in. 72 00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,223 Great. We leave at 8:00. 73 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,984 [gasps] That's only 13 hours away. 74 00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:33,059 I better go get ready. 75 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,711 It takes 13 hours to prepare? 76 00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:37,214 Yes. I have to take every piece of clothing out of my closet 77 00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:38,715 and throw it on the floor before deciding 78 00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,884 I have nothing to wear and going to buy a new outfit. 79 00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:43,553 -Judy, you want to come with? -[crying] 80 00:02:43,555 --> 00:02:45,071 Okay, well, I'll just pick you up 81 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,556 some very uncomfortable high heels 82 00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,333 that you can take off halfway through the night. 83 00:02:48,485 --> 00:02:49,817 If the ladies are busy tonight, 84 00:02:49,912 --> 00:02:51,986 you fellas thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 85 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,246 That we'll miss them terribly? 86 00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:55,990 That a taco is basically just a type of sandwich? 87 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,676 Uh, I was gonna say boys' night. 88 00:02:57,827 --> 00:03:01,329 I'm in. I'll prepare my weapons and reread The Art of War. 89 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,182 Hmm. It'll probably be more 90 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,018 of a "pizza and action movie" kind of thing. 91 00:03:06,094 --> 00:03:07,168 Oh, there will be action. 92 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,504 Rivalries, anger, fisticuffs, 93 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,005 a raw return to nature. 94 00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:12,357 Ooh, and let's do dips. 95 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:15,194 [chanting] Boys' night! Boys' night! Boys' night! 96 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,770 -[crying] -Get ready, Judy. 97 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,198 By the end of the night, your spirit will be renewed 98 00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:21,182 and your breakup with Cool You-Know-Who 99 00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:22,201 will be a distant memory. 100 00:03:22,352 --> 00:03:23,869 Rest in peace, Dumb Mike. 101 00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:25,871 I can't wait to feel better. 102 00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:27,597 First things first, let's put the top down 103 00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:30,191 and throw our hands in the air like we just don't care. 104 00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,601 [weakly] Whoo-hoo. 105 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,786 Next stop, Dance Cliff, 106 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,121 the all-ages danceteria in Death Cliff. 107 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,275 The place with a big cliff in the middle of the dance floor? 108 00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,034 Yep. People get hurt there all the time, 109 00:03:40,128 --> 00:03:42,112 but it's exciting. 110 00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:43,463 Sorry we're late. We were getting 111 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,449 the perfect boys' night snack from Val-U-Buy. 112 00:03:45,617 --> 00:03:47,617 You can't spell "boys" without "Bagel Bites." 113 00:03:47,636 --> 00:03:48,727 Oh, hell yeah. 114 00:03:48,878 --> 00:03:50,787 And Moon very thoughtfully had me take him 115 00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:53,398 to the last Blockbuster in the world in Whippleton 116 00:03:53,591 --> 00:03:55,901 to get us two great action films on Blu-ray. 117 00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:57,143 Anything for my boys. 118 00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,738 Uh, why is Moon dressed like that? 119 00:03:59,965 --> 00:04:01,298 A better question, Jerry-- 120 00:04:01,316 --> 00:04:03,408 why aren't any of you dressed like this? 121 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,802 How am I the only one prepared for boys' night? 122 00:04:05,821 --> 00:04:09,473 Moon, tonight is actually just gonna be a pleasant eve 123 00:04:09,491 --> 00:04:12,251 with a group of like-minded gentlemen. 124 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,477 Oh, Dad, you fool. 125 00:04:13,495 --> 00:04:15,479 Plan for all the pleasantries you want. 126 00:04:15,497 --> 00:04:18,315 But when you gather this many boys in one space for the night, 127 00:04:18,408 --> 00:04:20,408 it always ends in all-out war. 128 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,245 That may have been true of boys' nights in medieval times, Moon, 129 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,172 but now we are in regular-eval times, 130 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,268 so let's talk about what movie we're gonna watch. 131 00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:31,828 Olympus Has Fallen or White House Down? 132 00:04:31,921 --> 00:04:34,014 -Olympus Has Fallen. -Oh, White House Down all the way. 133 00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:35,515 Oh, I'll kill you. 134 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:36,591 Over my dead body. 135 00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:37,925 Uh, you guys okay? 136 00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:40,670 No. The only real fight Cheesecake and I have ever had 137 00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:42,856 was over which of those movies was better. 138 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,449 Oh. A rivalry? 139 00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:45,933 Hmm, how interesting. 140 00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:49,103 I wasn't aware of that when I hand-selected these films. 141 00:04:49,197 --> 00:04:50,514 Moon, what have you done? 142 00:04:50,607 --> 00:04:52,124 -This is madness. -Are you freaking kidding me? 143 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:54,442 -[arguing continues] -And so it begins. 144 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,611 [Honeybee] So a few people drowned 145 00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:59,131 in the fog machine and now no one gets to have any fun? 146 00:04:59,282 --> 00:05:01,191 Thanks a lot, Health Department. Ugh. 147 00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:03,543 It's okay, Honeybee. We can just go home. 148 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,862 No, no, no. I've never had a ladies' night go wrong, 149 00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:07,047 and I'm not about to start tonight. 150 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,807 Not for your first one. I got it. 151 00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:12,702 We can go to Take Salon Way Home and get spontaneous makeovers. 152 00:05:12,721 --> 00:05:15,480 Nothing says "forget that guy" like a deep, smoky eye. 153 00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:18,875 Sure. I have a coupon from them for a free Brazilian blowie. 154 00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:22,529 I think you mean "blowout," but yeah. 155 00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:26,307 What in the world is... 156 00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,161 -Oh, no, no, no, no! -[all exclaiming] 157 00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:31,145 Oh, he's getting out of the car. 158 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,240 Oh, good God. Oh, no! 159 00:05:34,393 --> 00:05:36,501 My beautiful tank! My home! 160 00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,895 What have you done? All my glitter water's running out. 161 00:05:38,914 --> 00:05:40,246 Why the heck are you driving around 162 00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:42,007 with a huge tank of glitter water? 163 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:44,901 Let me calm down so I can explain. 164 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,253 [burbling] Ah. 165 00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:49,756 Hum-uh. 166 00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:51,016 My name is Miami, 167 00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,926 professional erotic merman performer. 168 00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:54,594 May I present my card? 169 00:05:54,746 --> 00:05:56,838 If you hold them up to your ear, you can hear the ocean. 170 00:05:56,915 --> 00:05:57,931 Uh, thanks? 171 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,524 -Sorry we bumped into you. -You should be. 172 00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:02,268 I have two big gigs tonight back-to-freakin'-back. 173 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,845 And nobody likes a dry show. 174 00:06:03,939 --> 00:06:05,012 [engine struggles to start] 175 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,606 Ugh. My car is flooded. 176 00:06:06,758 --> 00:06:08,182 Can you give me a ride? 177 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,534 Fat chance, Charlie Tuna. 178 00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:11,870 Dirt! Um, excuse me, sir. Just a moment. 179 00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,354 Let me confer with my girls. 180 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,356 Of course. I'll just warm up my siren song 181 00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:17,951 while you decide how to make this up to me. 182 00:06:18,103 --> 00:06:20,453 [vocalizing] 183 00:06:20,606 --> 00:06:23,273 What is it? Are you gonna Shape of Water this guy? 184 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:24,699 -I won't tell Wolf. -No. 185 00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,126 But I think he might be the key 186 00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:27,219 to getting our ladies' night back on track. 187 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,778 -Really? How? -I'm thinking 188 00:06:28,797 --> 00:06:31,131 wherever this guy's going, it's bound to be a party. 189 00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:32,966 And that's just what Judy's booty needs. 190 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,301 Sure, but, actually, I really just want to-- 191 00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:37,729 Ah-ah-ah. An unexpected twist can be a good thing. 192 00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:40,290 One time, we were supposed to take our friend Jessica out 193 00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:41,791 to Club Sweat for UB40 Night, 194 00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:44,385 but we got the date wrong and it was Thrash Metal Night. 195 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,297 But she ended up meeting her husband Thorg there. 196 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:48,907 They just had their second kid, Anarchin. 197 00:06:49,134 --> 00:06:51,484 Oh, uh, actually, I was thinking maybe if I could, 198 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,820 like, talk to you guys about Cool Mike-- 199 00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,414 Ah-ah. Judy, what did I tell you? 200 00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:57,657 Dwelling on that guy is just gonna bring you down. 201 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,476 You got to trust your Honeybee, okay? 202 00:06:59,494 --> 00:07:02,570 This fish man is just what the ladies' night doctor ordered. 203 00:07:02,664 --> 00:07:03,905 Okay, you're the boss. 204 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,666 [continues vocalizing] 205 00:07:06,818 --> 00:07:07,834 All right, let's do this. 206 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,594 But if he turns out to be a real mermaid, 207 00:07:09,746 --> 00:07:12,556 I am turning him in to the government to be dissected. 208 00:07:16,995 --> 00:07:18,937 Merman, merman, merman. 209 00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:20,588 Um, hello again, merman, sir. 210 00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,941 We were just headed out for a night on the town ourselves, 211 00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:24,926 -so we're gonna give you that ride. -Oh. 212 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,504 Great. If I miss a gig, I'll be in big trouble 213 00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:29,096 and I won't get my 14%. 214 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,932 Sorry, you'll be in trouble with... 215 00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:34,861 My mer-madam, Ethel, who does take 86% of my sensual dance fee 216 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,680 and does have a temper. 217 00:07:36,698 --> 00:07:39,106 A violent, insatiable fury. 218 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,183 Interesting. 219 00:07:40,202 --> 00:07:41,685 Is there a Mr. Ethel Mer-Madam? 220 00:07:41,703 --> 00:07:44,612 No. I do suspect she has killed two husbands, though. 221 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,022 I'm liking her more and more. 222 00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:48,208 Let me text my tank guy to come pick up the tank 223 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,468 before Ethel finds out. 224 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,027 Last time I broke it, 225 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,120 -she broke all my fingers. -[gasps] -Holy crap. 226 00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:54,714 All the ladyfinger confectionary treats 227 00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:56,366 I bought her as an apology. 228 00:07:56,384 --> 00:07:58,551 I feel like you paused on purpose to get a reaction. 229 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,053 And I feel like you loved it. 230 00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:01,721 -[phone chimes] -Ooh! Tank guy's on the way. 231 00:08:01,873 --> 00:08:05,375 All right, let's flee this scene and heal our teen. 232 00:08:05,393 --> 00:08:07,486 Wait till the girls in Fresno hear about this. 233 00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:10,046 This is better than the night we gave a guy in a Grimace costume 234 00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:11,323 a ride to the Olive Garden 235 00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,066 and accidentally waited while he did a robbery. 236 00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:15,902 So, uh, why were you all headed out on the town? 237 00:08:16,071 --> 00:08:17,144 Just a traditional ladies' night 238 00:08:17,239 --> 00:08:18,738 for a little cheer-up after a breakup. 239 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,815 Classic. Who's our dumped dame? 240 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:24,227 [crying] I am. There was this guy-- 241 00:08:24,229 --> 00:08:25,003 Who shall not be named. 242 00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:26,171 That guy is dead to us. 243 00:08:26,322 --> 00:08:27,564 And maybe dead for real. 244 00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:29,399 Let's see where the night takes us. 245 00:08:29,492 --> 00:08:31,568 [Wolf] What?! Are you nuts?! 246 00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:33,845 Olympus Has Fallen is by far the superior 247 00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:35,572 "Die Hard with the president" movie. 248 00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:38,408 The only thing that's fallen is my respect for you. 249 00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:41,186 White House Down is hands down the best. 250 00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:43,413 I don't know how anyone can prefer Olympus. 251 00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:45,524 Gerard Butler? More like Gerard Butt. 252 00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:48,101 Ham, I love you, but you're legitimately psychotic 253 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,529 -and I'm not sure we should be together anymore. -[gasps] 254 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,106 Jerry, please don't say you like White House Down better. 255 00:08:53,258 --> 00:08:54,866 I've already lost one brother. 256 00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:55,942 That's right, you have. 257 00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:57,035 You see this look on my face? 258 00:08:57,262 --> 00:08:58,352 It's a White House frown. 259 00:08:58,446 --> 00:09:01,097 My Olympus torch will never die. 260 00:09:01,116 --> 00:09:02,207 Henry, which side are you on? 261 00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:03,875 Does either movie have Minions or nudity? 262 00:09:03,952 --> 00:09:07,361 Channing's down to a tank top at some point, if that counts. 263 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,106 And I'll pick this side, because it's closer. 264 00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,291 You disgust me, Delmer. 265 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,776 You all disgust me. 266 00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:15,387 Cheesecake, I'd marry Channing Tatum in a heartbeat, 267 00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:16,963 and you know that. We've talked about that. 268 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,390 But Olympus Has Fallen 269 00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,708 is head and shoulders above White House Down. 270 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:21,726 Let's talk facts. 271 00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:23,377 Tatum's John Cale in White House Down 272 00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:25,713 is so much more heroic than Butler's Mike Banning 273 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,806 in Olympus Has Fallen. 274 00:09:26,958 --> 00:09:28,474 Cale is a Capitol Police officer, 275 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,311 while Gerard Butler is just Secret Service. 276 00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:33,071 It's literally Butler's job 277 00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:34,406 to protect the president with his life. 278 00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:36,908 Tatum's John Cale has no such mandate, 279 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:39,411 yet he still chooses to step into the breach. 280 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,654 I'll step into your breach, Ham. [grunts] 281 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:45,566 Gentlemen! We are not going to descend into fisticuffs. 282 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,327 Guys, guys, Dad's right. 283 00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:50,480 I know I orchestrated this chaos, but now... 284 00:09:50,573 --> 00:09:52,148 i-it doesn't feel right. 285 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,333 This isn't who we are. 286 00:09:53,485 --> 00:09:55,409 Wow. I appreciate you saying that, Moon. 287 00:09:55,503 --> 00:09:58,597 -I agree. -Oh, maybe we can watch both movies. 288 00:09:58,824 --> 00:10:00,932 One group can watch in the guesthouse. 289 00:10:01,159 --> 00:10:02,267 [scoffs] On the tiny TV? 290 00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:04,344 Wolf, this is the peaceful solution. 291 00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:07,254 Fine. Olympus boys, let's go. 292 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,515 Here, you guys can take all the Bagel Bites 293 00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:10,500 to heat up out there. 294 00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:12,518 -Peace offering. -Thanks, Moon. 295 00:10:12,671 --> 00:10:13,778 Dang, these are heavy. 296 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,596 -Must be all those cheeses. -There we go. 297 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,341 Let our men's night of fellowship resume. 298 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,952 Bye, everyone. See you in hell. 299 00:10:21,847 --> 00:10:24,271 -[Honeybee] So, your first gig is here? -Oh, yeah. 300 00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:26,015 Just 'cause you're almost dead doesn't mean 301 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:27,867 you're not erotically inclined. 302 00:10:28,019 --> 00:10:29,443 All horndogs go to heaven. 303 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,688 [sighs] I hope they don't riot 'cause I don't have my tank. 304 00:10:31,706 --> 00:10:33,131 Last time, one of them threw a crutch at me 305 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,874 -when I wouldn't go back to her room. -Ooh! 306 00:10:35,026 --> 00:10:36,450 Getting onstage during a ladies' night 307 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:38,619 is a time-honored way to get your groove back. 308 00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:40,472 We could back you up, add a little zazz. 309 00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:42,548 -Can't hurt. -And Judy's a born performer. 310 00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,959 She even has her own VidVok talk show. 311 00:10:45,053 --> 00:10:46,886 Had. I, uh, chose to end it. 312 00:10:47,038 --> 00:10:48,295 On my own terms. 313 00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:50,631 You guys dance if you want. It's not for me. 314 00:10:50,725 --> 00:10:53,467 Huh. Judy Tobin turning down a chance to grab the spotlight? 315 00:10:53,561 --> 00:10:55,395 -That's not like you. -I'll do it. 316 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,471 And if you need me to pop my top off, 317 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,491 just give me a nod. 318 00:11:00,552 --> 00:11:01,809 Miss Dirt, hit it. 319 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,311 -[music playing] -♪ Oh, when the tide comes in ♪ 320 00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:05,813 ♪ The sands are getting wet ♪ 321 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,073 ♪ Gonna take you on a journey ♪ 322 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,224 ♪ You won't soon forget... ♪ 323 00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:11,244 Show me that fin, bad boy! 324 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,413 ♪ I'm the king of the ocean ♪ 325 00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:16,232 ♪ Watch this body in motion ♪ 326 00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:18,677 ♪ Half man, half fish ♪ 327 00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:21,513 ♪ Come on, it's Miami, bish. ♪ 328 00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,256 -[applause] -Hi, Babs. 329 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,924 Gloria, are those new teeth? 330 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,744 I love performing for you guys. 331 00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:29,979 [loud groan] 332 00:11:31,082 --> 00:11:32,765 Uh-oh. 333 00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,584 [Judy wailing] 334 00:11:34,677 --> 00:11:35,935 Judy, what's going on? 335 00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,755 Sometimes people are very moved by my dance. 336 00:11:38,773 --> 00:11:41,941 She'll recover, eventually, but she'll never be the same. 337 00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:43,201 It's not that. 338 00:11:43,428 --> 00:11:45,186 I mean, it was a good dance, it's just, 339 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:49,098 it's C-O-O-L M-I-K-E. 340 00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:51,859 Seeing you guys on stage reminded me of him. 341 00:11:51,953 --> 00:11:53,937 And I know the point of ladies' night 342 00:11:53,955 --> 00:11:57,941 is not to talk about guys, but what-what if I need to? 343 00:11:57,959 --> 00:11:59,366 Oh, damn, Judy. 344 00:11:59,461 --> 00:12:01,277 I got so caught up in trying to fix your problem my way 345 00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:02,295 that I haven't been listening. 346 00:12:02,447 --> 00:12:04,280 Spill it, honey. We're here. 347 00:12:04,299 --> 00:12:05,798 -Why did y'all break up? -Did he tell you 348 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,800 your legs look weird with your body? 349 00:12:07,953 --> 00:12:10,303 -Wait, what? -Oh, well, they don't. 350 00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,564 See, the thing is, I thought I was his real girlfriend, 351 00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:17,185 but then I found out I was his... his secret girlfriend. 352 00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:19,070 -Oh, no. -Oh, yes. 353 00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:22,131 Because he was em-embarrassed of me. 354 00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,316 -[crying] -Embarrassed of you? 355 00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:25,893 I don't care what his name says. That's not cool. 356 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,061 Embarrassed of what? 357 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,230 I think it was just, like, me in general, 358 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,566 but specifically, my-my... my VidVok show. 359 00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:34,327 -Oh. -That's why I deleted 360 00:12:34,496 --> 00:12:36,145 all the old episodes of Judy on Blast 361 00:12:36,164 --> 00:12:37,997 and foreswore my life of performing. 362 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,591 Well, it's been a while since I sent a teenager 363 00:12:39,818 --> 00:12:42,677 to the infirmary, but I think I remember how. 364 00:12:46,674 --> 00:12:48,841 So, this fool, Mike, broke up with you over some show? 365 00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,343 It's not just some show. 366 00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:53,513 It was my VidVok show, and it was called Judy on Blast. 367 00:12:53,665 --> 00:12:54,755 -Yeesh. -Dirt! 368 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,666 And it was a live, daily talk show 369 00:12:56,684 --> 00:12:58,351 where I interview my fellow students and sometimes 370 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,019 sing a little song or do a dance. 371 00:13:00,171 --> 00:13:01,446 But it doesn't matter because it's dead and gone 372 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,615 and so is my budding variety hosting career. 373 00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:06,025 You see, Kima sits behind Cool Mike in Government, 374 00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:07,935 and she overheard him telling his friend Jace 375 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,179 that my VidVok show was too embarrassing, 376 00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:12,348 and that's why I didn't want to get onstage with you tonight. 377 00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:13,533 Judy, I'm sorry. 378 00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,034 I promised you a great ladies' night 379 00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,443 and instead, I've got you crying 380 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,463 in some kind of cursed retirement home chapel. 381 00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:20,857 -I really messed this up. -It's okay, Honeybee. 382 00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:22,859 We can just go home and I'll give myself 383 00:13:22,952 --> 00:13:24,544 an impulsive haircut and start working on 384 00:13:24,696 --> 00:13:27,864 -a whole new personality. -Now, you hold on, Miss Judy. 385 00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:30,124 -Did you love doing that show? -Uh-huh. 386 00:13:30,218 --> 00:13:32,126 But this boy made you feel ashamed of it? 387 00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:34,145 -Uh-huh. -Let me tell you something. 388 00:13:34,372 --> 00:13:36,314 Being a performer isn't about being cool. 389 00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:38,374 It's about being your truest self. 390 00:13:38,393 --> 00:13:40,485 -O-Okay. -I used to be married to a woman 391 00:13:40,712 --> 00:13:42,636 who was embarrassed of the fact that I wanted to be a merman. 392 00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:45,064 Whenever she found me in the tub with my tail on, 393 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:46,899 she would dump her salad right on me. 394 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,994 -What a waste. -But I wasn't meant to live my life on land. 395 00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,404 I was born to be half fish 396 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,832 and shake my ass for bachelorette parties. 397 00:13:53,983 --> 00:13:55,166 -Go off, king. -So I divorced Shaylee 398 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,651 and became the merman you see today. 399 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,504 Judy, it's time for you to pick up the pieces 400 00:13:59,655 --> 00:14:02,489 of the salad that Cool Mike threw into your tub. 401 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,992 He may be cool, but you are a star. 402 00:14:05,161 --> 00:14:06,660 Amen and hallelujah! 403 00:14:06,754 --> 00:14:08,754 Now, do you have any idea where we might find 404 00:14:08,907 --> 00:14:10,164 this so-called Cool Mike? 405 00:14:10,258 --> 00:14:11,999 He's probably at Crocodile Rob's. 406 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,577 Him and his cool friends go there every Friday 407 00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:17,338 for the blimey Bondi Beach bottomless buffet. 408 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,916 Well, then, I think we just booked our next gig. 409 00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:21,359 But what about your next real gig? 410 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,361 Your mean mer-madam Ethel will be so mad. 411 00:14:23,512 --> 00:14:27,757 Hey, this is girls' night, and by God, we're gonna finish it! 412 00:14:27,775 --> 00:14:29,350 Oh, that just gave me chills. 413 00:14:29,518 --> 00:14:31,185 -[gunfire on TV] -[man on TV] Watch your six! 414 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,262 Oh, hell yeah. Olympus is falling. 415 00:14:33,431 --> 00:14:35,264 And what I need is some Bagel Bites 416 00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:36,616 falling into my mouth. 417 00:14:36,768 --> 00:14:39,602 I'll go heat them up. I have a special technique. 418 00:14:39,621 --> 00:14:42,105 I turn the oven on, then put them in... uh, you'll see. 419 00:14:42,273 --> 00:14:43,956 -[gasps] -Crispin, why are you gasping? 420 00:14:44,109 --> 00:14:46,442 Oh, no, did all the tiny pepperonis fall off? 421 00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:49,445 Worse. This bag is just full of rocks. 422 00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:50,796 Scoundrels! Moon tricked us. 423 00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,207 To quote from one of the greatest movies of all time-- 424 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,618 Olympus Has Fallen, which we are currently watching-- 425 00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:57,970 "Our foe did not come only to destroy 426 00:14:58,123 --> 00:14:59,488 "our things or our people. 427 00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:01,548 "They came to desecrate a way of life. 428 00:15:01,643 --> 00:15:03,067 Trample our freedom." 429 00:15:03,294 --> 00:15:04,569 Well, Dad? Shall we go to war? 430 00:15:04,796 --> 00:15:08,389 Okay. I tried to be a gentleman, but enough is enough. 431 00:15:08,557 --> 00:15:11,075 If it's war my ten-year-old son wants, 432 00:15:11,227 --> 00:15:13,745 then I say it's war he shall get! 433 00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:14,987 Who's with me? 434 00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:16,247 [all cheer] 435 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:17,731 [gunfire on TV] 436 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,992 Ooh! Here comes the part where the White House goes down. 437 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,327 [all scream] 438 00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:23,404 [Wolf] Show yourselves, cowards! 439 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,648 -What the hell? -We're under attack! 440 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,074 I see they got my Bagel Bites. 441 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,334 What should we do? 442 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,428 Well, we could stay here and hide, 443 00:15:30,655 --> 00:15:34,415 or I did happen to make 350 very well-packed snowballs 444 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,160 and stash them in the deep freezers downstairs today. 445 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:40,221 -Oh, let's do that. -[all cheering] 446 00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:42,348 [Dirt] So that's him, huh? 447 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,533 Got to admit, he looks pretty cool. 448 00:15:44,535 --> 00:15:46,852 Yeah, that's his thing. I hate it. I mean, I love it 449 00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:49,338 -but I hate it. -[Australian accent] All right, young lady, 450 00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:51,616 I did run your request by my manager, Crocodile Tanya, 451 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:55,361 and she said it did fall under our "no worries" policy, 452 00:15:55,513 --> 00:15:57,956 so whenever you're ready, the floor is yours. 453 00:15:58,107 --> 00:16:00,441 As our beer koozies proudly say, 454 00:16:00,535 --> 00:16:01,942 "croc into a cold one." 455 00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:05,112 Oh, it won't be cold, and it definitely won't be cool. 456 00:16:05,206 --> 00:16:07,448 But it will be me. 457 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,801 Okay, I need this area clear, three chairs. 458 00:16:10,028 --> 00:16:12,971 Honeybee, you're filming. Dirt and Miami, you're with me. 459 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,381 All right, folks, listen up. 460 00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:17,624 Bit of a treat for you all. This young lady 461 00:16:17,719 --> 00:16:21,537 Hosts a very famous VidVok show called Judy On Blast. 462 00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:22,296 -Yecch. -Dirt! 463 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,724 -Sorry. -Judy? Oh, man. 464 00:16:24,876 --> 00:16:25,875 What are you doing? 465 00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:27,376 [Crocodile Tom] Without further ado, 466 00:16:27,545 --> 00:16:29,578 round of applause for tonight's entertainment. 467 00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:31,063 -[applause] -Take it away, Miami! 468 00:16:31,216 --> 00:16:33,974 Hello, everyone. My name is Miami, 469 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,642 erotic merman performer. 470 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,996 Crocodile Tom, would you mind passing out some business cards? 471 00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:40,072 -No worries. -Okay, everyone, 472 00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:41,907 imagine I'm dancing in a tank. 473 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,150 One step ahead of you. 474 00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:44,910 ♪ It's time for Judy On Blast ♪ 475 00:16:45,063 --> 00:16:46,579 ♪ With Judy ♪ 476 00:16:46,731 --> 00:16:49,081 ♪ Welcome to On Blast, she's a cutie ♪ 477 00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:51,734 ♪ It's Judy On Blast, welcome to the show. ♪ 478 00:16:51,827 --> 00:16:53,419 Good evening, everybody, I'm Judy. 479 00:16:53,571 --> 00:16:55,513 -Judy! -No talking, strange teen. 480 00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:58,349 -You're just the audience. -I love this. 481 00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:02,002 And in just a few minutes we're gonna welcome to the stage 482 00:17:02,138 --> 00:17:03,337 Cool Mike! 483 00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:07,358 Ugh. Not cool, Judy. Not cool. 484 00:17:11,589 --> 00:17:12,938 Okay, time for my opening monologue. 485 00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:14,515 -Miami? -♪ Monologue music. ♪ 486 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,392 -Sidekick? -So, Judy, what's new with you? 487 00:17:17,394 --> 00:17:20,204 Well, until very recently, that guy right there, 488 00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:23,357 pretending not to see me, Cool Mike, was... 489 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,026 -drumroll... -Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-dum! 490 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:27,119 ...my boyfriend. 491 00:17:27,272 --> 00:17:28,379 [laughing] 492 00:17:28,531 --> 00:17:30,790 Well, I mean, I thought he was, but it turns out 493 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,275 while he was happy to make out with me 494 00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:33,700 in the janitor's closet-- 495 00:17:33,828 --> 00:17:35,720 which, in retrospect, should have been a red flag-- 496 00:17:35,871 --> 00:17:37,280 I wasn't his real boo. 497 00:17:37,298 --> 00:17:40,116 I was his "secret" girlfriend. 498 00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:41,559 Honey, no, you're beautiful. 499 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,119 That's right. But he 500 00:17:43,121 --> 00:17:44,395 -was embarrassed of me. -Rude. 501 00:17:44,622 --> 00:17:47,065 And, yes, many things I do are very embarrassing. 502 00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:48,791 I talk too loud, I fart a lot. 503 00:17:48,884 --> 00:17:50,142 Like, a lot. Like several times 504 00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:51,477 -just since I got on stage. -Attagirl. 505 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,963 And I host this very dumb VidVok show 506 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:55,314 that only a few people watch. 507 00:17:55,483 --> 00:17:57,983 And when I heard that Cool Mike didn't like it, 508 00:17:58,136 --> 00:17:59,468 well, that got in my head. 509 00:17:59,487 --> 00:18:01,579 Well, that's a shame. Shame on you, Cool Mike. 510 00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:05,308 But tonight, my sister-in-law took me on a girls' night. 511 00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:07,734 And the point of a girls' night is not just to 512 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,979 wave your hands in the air like you just don't care, 513 00:18:10,072 --> 00:18:11,997 it's to wave yourself in the air 514 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,649 like you just do care. 515 00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:16,652 We are getting salads out of bathtubs tonight! 516 00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:19,430 Judy, please, can we talk about this somewhere else? 517 00:18:19,657 --> 00:18:21,340 Nuh-uh. This is Judy On Blast, 518 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,492 not secret Judy in a janitor's closet 519 00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:24,493 near the vomit bucket. 520 00:18:24,587 --> 00:18:26,270 -It's a cool closet. -It is not. 521 00:18:26,422 --> 00:18:28,331 And if you want to talk about it, Cool Mike, 522 00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:30,166 why don't you come up here on stage? 523 00:18:30,259 --> 00:18:32,335 [patrons chanting] Cool Mike! Cool Mike! 524 00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:34,003 Everyone wants you out here on stage 525 00:18:34,096 --> 00:18:35,688 being cool, big guy. 526 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,173 Okay, fine. Ugh. 527 00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:39,692 I'm sorry for what I did or whatever. 528 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,101 But it's not my fault. 529 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,195 I just have a lot of pressure on me to be cool. 530 00:18:43,348 --> 00:18:45,105 My whole family's very cool. 531 00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:46,773 Don't blame the victim, Cool Mike. 532 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,033 Take accountability. 533 00:18:48,186 --> 00:18:50,277 Ugh, not cool stuff bothers me. 534 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,446 Well, then, don't make out with that not cool stuff 535 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,947 -near a mop. -Keep talking, girl. 536 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,467 'Cause doing that means that you are, factually, 537 00:18:56,694 --> 00:18:58,302 the one who is not cool. 538 00:18:58,454 --> 00:19:01,305 [chanting] Not cool, Mike! Not cool, Mike! 539 00:19:01,457 --> 00:19:03,624 Ugh, whatever. I got to go, anyway. 540 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:07,127 I'm late for my X Games tryout. [whimpering] 541 00:19:07,221 --> 00:19:08,980 More like Good Riddance Mike! 542 00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:10,464 [chuckles] 543 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,058 And now, everyone, put your hands together again 544 00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:14,377 for my house band, Miami. 545 00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:15,969 And after his song, I'll be talking 546 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,564 to Crocodile Tom about his favorite appetizers. 547 00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:20,900 Me? What an honor. 548 00:19:21,052 --> 00:19:24,420 Where are you, you little bagel boy?! 549 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,812 [gasps, screams] 550 00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:27,390 [both grunting] 551 00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:30,059 -[whimpering] -Aah! Attack! 552 00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:31,169 [girls laughing] 553 00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:32,611 Okay, that was incredible. 554 00:19:32,763 --> 00:19:34,321 I know I've only been on one ladies' night, 555 00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:36,174 but I want to say that that was the best one 556 00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:37,508 in the history of all time, 557 00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:38,918 and also all future time. 558 00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,236 So I didn't let you down? 559 00:19:40,238 --> 00:19:41,512 Well, it took a couple adjustments, 560 00:19:41,664 --> 00:19:44,015 bit I dipped my metaphorical toe fungus 561 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:47,410 into ladies' night and I was healed! 562 00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:49,745 [Miami] Oh, no, it's Ethel. 563 00:19:49,764 --> 00:19:50,521 [gasps] Your scary mer-madam? 564 00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:51,689 [Ethel] Miami! 565 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,083 You missed your second gig tonight, dumbass. 566 00:19:54,176 --> 00:19:56,009 I had to send Cliff the Unicorn in your place, 567 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,195 and no one likes him. 568 00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:58,587 He can't see out of his damn costume, 569 00:19:58,606 --> 00:19:59,846 and he knocked over the chocolate fountain 570 00:19:59,941 --> 00:20:01,014 they had set up. 571 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,591 Now he looks like a dirty donkey. 572 00:20:02,610 --> 00:20:05,536 I'm sorry, Ethel, but tonight I had to tend to my girls. 573 00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,872 Yeah, well, you're gonna have to tend to me now, 574 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,190 to the amount of 300 bucks. 575 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,316 Or we can forget this whole thing 576 00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:12,618 and I can take you inside 577 00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:14,603 for a couple of Vegemite teas. 578 00:20:14,622 --> 00:20:16,697 -Hi, I'm Dirt. -Deal. 579 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,699 But I'm gonna drink $300 worth. 580 00:20:18,867 --> 00:20:20,200 Will you marry me? 581 00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:22,369 [Honeybee] All right, let's go put on sweatpants 582 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,554 and house these curly fries 583 00:20:23,706 --> 00:20:25,539 and then we'll take you to pick up your tank. 584 00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:26,782 Aah! 585 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,542 Oh, hey, hon. How was ladies' night? 586 00:20:28,711 --> 00:20:30,377 Amazing. How was boys' night? 587 00:20:30,471 --> 00:20:31,545 Oh, it's still going strong. 588 00:20:31,639 --> 00:20:33,380 I got Cheesecake tied up in the guest house 589 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,307 and I'm forcing him to watch Olympus Has Fallen, 590 00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:36,809 so don't be alarmed when you see him. 591 00:20:36,885 --> 00:20:38,903 Very normal. Oh, and this is Miami, 592 00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:40,071 my newest gal pal, 593 00:20:40,298 --> 00:20:41,630 even though he's an erotic merman. 594 00:20:41,724 --> 00:20:42,982 Oh, nice to meet you, Miami. 595 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:44,575 Any erotic merman friend of my wife's 596 00:20:44,802 --> 00:20:46,485 -is an erotic merman friend of mine. -[grunts] 597 00:20:46,562 --> 00:20:49,305 Get this trash off my White House lawn! 598 00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:51,307 Oh, Dad, we're on the same team. 599 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:52,733 There are no teams in boys' night. 600 00:20:52,827 --> 00:20:55,920 -Uh, I think Maude's is still open. -Good idea. 601 00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:57,571 I hope they have the clam chowder, 602 00:20:57,665 --> 00:20:59,665 because I love the sea. 603 00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:01,333 ♪ ♪ 604 00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:04,595 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 605 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,265 and TOYOTA. 606 00:21:07,416 --> 00:21:11,018 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org