1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:03,169 ♪ Look up there ♪ 2 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:05,922 - ♪ What do you see? ♪ - ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:07,590 - ♪ Like a rock ♪ - ♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,719 ♪ Hup, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,763 {\an8}♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ ♪ Hup, hey, oh ♪ 6 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:16,891 {\an8}- ♪ Catch some fish ♪ - ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 7 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:17,892 {\an8}♪ Wow ♪ 8 00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:21,104 {\an8}♪ Hup, the Great North ♪ 9 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,106 ♪ Here we live ♪ ♪ Hup, oh ♪ 10 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,357 - ♪ Here we'll stay ♪ - ♪ Whoo ♪ 11 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,192 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 12 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:29,237 ♪ In the Great North ♪ 13 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,996 {\an8}Ooh. New Oreo flavor. "Chocolate Cheese Rum Cooler." 14 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,247 {\an8}Nab those, boo. 15 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:42,667 {\an8}And, uh, speaking of rum coolers, my cousin Dane is being chill for once, 16 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,336 {\an8}and said he'd get us one bottle of wine for our girls' weekend. 17 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,463 {\an8}That is very chill. 18 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,382 {\an8}Now, what else do we need to make this the best girls' weekend ever? 19 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,844 {\an8}I know the answer isn't a bunch of Healthy-Boy Frozen Farmer meals for one. 20 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,012 {\an8}So let's hang a right. 21 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,805 {\an8}Did you have a chance to, um... 22 00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:58,433 {\an8}...uh, ask your mom if she can drive us, Amelia? 23 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,018 {\an8}I did, but I didn't take it. 24 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,353 {\an8}I don't want my mom driving us to our girls' trip. 25 00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:03,730 {\an8}That's not the vibe. 26 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:08,401 {\an8}You promised us you would get your license before this weekend so we can caravan. 27 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,612 {\an8}Right, right. I could just ride with one of you. 28 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:14,491 {\an8}Judy, you know dumb Alaskan laws say teens can't ride with other teens. 29 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:17,827 {\an8}Yeah. We're gonna all drive separate cars, but keep each other on speakerphone. 30 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,704 {\an8}So it'll be like we're in the same giant car 31 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:23,041 {\an8}with a bunch of pedals, 18 windows and three bad bitches. 32 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,919 {\an8}This is tough love, Judy, but if you don't get that license, 33 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,172 {\an8}you are disinvited with extreme prejudice from our girls' trip to Kenai. 34 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,050 {\an8}Look, you guys know I believe I'm capable of anything. 35 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,469 {\an8}I have so many mouse pads that say that. 36 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,721 But driving I'm so bad at. 37 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,598 Judy, you can get your license. 38 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,433 It took me two tries to pass the test. 39 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,602 Do it or screw it, Judy Small Booty. 40 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,896 Ooh. Do we need 48 chocolate chip muffins? 41 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,898 Hell yeah. I'll ride that ride. 42 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:51,778 So, yeah. We're supposed to caravan to our first girls' trip in just a few days. 43 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:55,573 But I am still an epically bad, bad driver without a license. 44 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,743 Oh, the girls' weekend in Kenai is that soon? Exciting. 45 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,995 But whatever you do, don't stay at Dreamy Jim's Motel. 46 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,247 I stayed there on my first tour, 47 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,124 and the peepholes on the doors are backwards. 48 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,251 We're not staying at a hotel. We're camping. 49 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,044 Yes, it is in Kima's aunt's backyard, 50 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:10,296 but she promised she won't look out the window at us. 51 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,840 And we're bringing secret wine, 52 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,467 and we'll probably listen to music with explicit lyrics 53 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,927 and possibly switch bodies. 54 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:19,264 What I'm saying is this is not a weekend where your parents drop you off. 55 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,183 Amelia and Kima are gonna ban me from coming if I can't drive by then, 56 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:25,311 but there's no way I'll be able to drive by then because I can't learn. 57 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,313 I'm a failure, a loser, a washout, 58 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,899 a chump, a baby, a diaper-head. I'm a fool. 59 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,860 Well, what about, um, hitchhiking? 60 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,778 Hitchhiking? That's so dangerous. 61 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,823 Well, bad choices make good stories. And in my case, good songs. 62 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,907 Like my song... 63 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,993 "Cobra Kisses at the Zoo." 64 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:44,289 Alanis, this isn't helping me be able to go on girls' weekend with the JAK Pak. 65 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,166 Wait, you call yourselves the JAK Pak? 66 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,668 Absolutely not. Hard pass. I forbid it. 67 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,920 What? J-A-K. Judy, Amelia, Kima. 68 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,005 JAK. JAK Pak. 69 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,215 - It sounds like a porno. - You sound like a porno. 70 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,884 Wow, you're really spicy right now. 71 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,386 Yes, because driving makes me feel so wound up. 72 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,014 I've taken driver's ed so many times. I've killed four people. 73 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,016 - Wait, what? - During the driving simulation. 74 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,060 But still, the software company said that wasn't even possible. 75 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,771 And the stuff I've done on the real road has been no picnic either. 76 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:10,231 Cut the wheel. Cut the wheel! 77 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,775 - What does "cut the wheel" mean? - Oh, God. Judy! 78 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:15,987 And I also did something very memorable downtown. 79 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,365 And again at Delmer's house. 80 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,492 Hey, Delmer. 81 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:24,704 My inability to drive is, like, the one thing I'm super insecure about. 82 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,456 - What about farting in public? - Ha! 83 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,124 I gave up that fight a long time ago. 84 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,584 I remember the moment it happened. 85 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,212 I'd had two spicy beef burritos at the Burrito Barn, 86 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:36,466 and several people who were there swore afterwards that the fart had a face. 87 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,968 Well, I believe you can get your license, Judy. 88 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:42,305 Mmm. Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much. But it's also not helpful because I can't. 89 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:46,309 I can't. I can't, can't, can't, can't. So get off my balls, Alanis! Sheesh. 90 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:49,979 Okay. I just wanna find a game that we haven't played in a long time, you know? 91 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,773 Huh. Never seen this one before. 92 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:54,317 Sounds like a box with 100 tiny games inside it. 93 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,819 - Score. A puzzle. - Oh, dang. 94 00:03:56,819 --> 00:04:00,281 And it looks like a blast. So many of the pieces are the same color. 95 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,451 Ooh. And there's no picture on the box to even tell us what we should be going for. 96 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:06,537 I haven't been this excited since we played Connect 4 with all reds. 97 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:09,123 - Can you say challenge? - Uh, challenge. 98 00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,376 Wow. You nailed that. 99 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,211 You'll never guess what we found. 100 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,296 My wayward tin of Lil Boy Pomade? 101 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,423 My wayward tin of Big Boy Pomade? 102 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,176 - No. - We found a puzzle we don't recognize. 103 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,386 - Oh, hell yeah. - Party time. 104 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,804 No, not another puzzle. 105 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,097 Yes, another puzzle. 106 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,683 You guys are obsessed. I mean, I don't even hate puzzles. 107 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,644 I just like them so much less than you guys, it's like I hate them. 108 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:33,314 Did we ever tell you that we once completed a 7000-piece spectacular 109 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:36,276 called "Blinding Snowscape" while wearing blindfolds? 110 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,568 The newspaper did an article. 111 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,862 Yep. You showed it to me many, many times. 112 00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:42,323 Yeah. Everyone was very worried about us, 113 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,034 but we never start a puzzle without finishing it. 114 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,953 Fine. But if you guys insist on doing it, 115 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,997 is it okay if I drink a lot just to feel something? 116 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,083 Oh, yes. It's recommended. Pour me one too. 117 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:55,920 Stupid Alanis. She thinks she's so great because she's a multiplatinum artist 118 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,797 and one of our world's greatest living legends. 119 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,967 "Learn to drive, Judy." Blee, blah, bloo, blah, blah, blah. 120 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,719 Is someone there? 121 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,555 Hello? 122 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,350 That's fun. I like yelling. 123 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:12,395 What are you doing down here? I-I didn't even know you could do this. 124 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,897 I'm your imaginary friend. I don't make the rules. 125 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:18,318 - Uh. Okay. Can you get even tinier? - You tell me. 126 00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:22,947 Well, personally, I think this, uh, alternate presentation of moi 127 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,825 means deep down you want me to nag you about learning to drive 128 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,953 and getting your license, because you really wanna go on that trip. 129 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,079 I do wanna go. 130 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,374 Listen, when I wanna do something, I claim it out loud for many to hear, 131 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,293 usually in a song. Like this, 132 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:38,379 I prefer the aisle seat. Thank you. 133 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,505 - Now you go. - No. 134 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,590 Claim it. 135 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,259 I will learn to drive. I will finally get my license. 136 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,261 - Louder. - I will finally get my license. 137 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,680 Go tell your family. You need witnesses. 138 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,515 Fine. But first witness this. 139 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,517 Hey, don't moon me. 140 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,103 Blue, blue, beige. Hmm. 141 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,481 I'm trying to think. What's mostly beige, blue and yellow? 142 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,108 The IKEA shirt, along with the IKEA pants. 143 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,361 Hmm. I bet it's a Minion eating a piece of bread. 144 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,029 Why would they make a puzzle of that? 145 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,031 - Why would they make a puzzle of anything? - Fair play. 146 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,159 Okay. Hello, everyone. I have an announcement! 147 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,995 Is it that you've lost control over the volume of your voice? 148 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:14,290 No! It is that I am going to learn to drive for real this time! 149 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:17,752 I am going to finally get my license and drive to Kenai with my gal pals! 150 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,504 But in separate cars because that's the law! 151 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,714 If I yell like this, I cannot back out! 152 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:25,134 Well, Judy, I know my last teaching attempt was unsuccessful, 153 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,970 and it's now very hard for us to get insured, 154 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:30,473 but will you permit me to instruct you once more? 155 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,850 - Yes! - Wonderful. We begin at dawn. 156 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:35,561 Okay! Sorry, I can't stop yelling now! 157 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,149 All right. Let's hit the road. 158 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,820 Oh. Well, but, you know, what about our Tobin ten-point checklist? 159 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:44,904 Oh, right. 160 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,199 Mirrors one through three, check. Gas, check. Radio at low volume, check. 161 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,827 Seat belt on. Seat adjusted. Parking brake engaged. 162 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,788 Salty snacks, sweet snacks, coffee and water secured, 163 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:57,625 so we won't be tempted at the gas station where the prices are frankly outrageous. 164 00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,002 And I think we're ready to go. Why don't you start her up? 165 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:03,423 Uh, actually, Dad, I've been thinking about your checklist, 166 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,675 and, uh, well, I don't wanna hurt your feelings. 167 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,344 I just-- I don't feel that it is thorough enough. 168 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:13,099 Oh. Wow. Well, my feelings are very hurt, but I'm open to feedback. 169 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,435 Well, for instance, we haven't checked the tire pressure 170 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,687 or the oil level or the thickness of the bumper. 171 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,856 Maybe we gotta get right out of the car and do that? 172 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,192 Looking good under there. Shall we hop in? 173 00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:27,113 Actually, Dad, there are some incredible vintage driver's ed videos on YouTube 174 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,197 I thought we oughta watch 175 00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,116 in case we encounter a vintage vehicle on the road. 176 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,577 Oh. Yes. Or a vintage driver. 177 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,495 Yes, for the female driver, 178 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:37,331 whether you're driving to the grocery store to buy a roast 179 00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:39,625 or dropping little Timmy at his Communion classes, 180 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,587 the manual hand signals can be a gal's best friend. 181 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,673 Oh, no. What is this? I thought you were teaching Judy to drive. 182 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,676 I am. She had some amendments to my safety checklist that I'm-- 183 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:51,179 She's stalling so she doesn't have to get behind the wheel, Beef. 184 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:54,932 No, I am not. She's a liar. She's lying! 185 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:58,728 You know what, Judy? I'm taking over. Honeybee driving school starts in an hour. 186 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,104 Okay. Yeah. Fine. That's cool. 187 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,772 Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah, sounds perf-- 188 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,357 We got a runner. Tackle her. 189 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,775 - Go get her, Beef. - Yep. Here I go. 190 00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,944 Okay, Judy. Driving is supposed to be fun. 191 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:09,739 It allows you to be independent and to go places you wanna go, 192 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:10,907 places with french fries. 193 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,910 That's why I've set up a drive-through with your favorite fast food for practice. 194 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,287 Now, let's roll. Take it slow and steady. 195 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,664 Like how I talk to Wolf when he sees a spider. 196 00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,835 - Hey. There you go. You did it. - I did do it. 197 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,921 {\an8}Welcome to Sloppy Josephine's East. 198 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,339 {\an8}How may I slop you today? 199 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,091 Um, I'll have a Sloppy with cheese and a Nasty Fries. 200 00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:32,178 All right. Pull up to the next window for your order. 201 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,764 Okay. Slow and steady. 202 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,516 Judy, what the hell? Slow down. 203 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,267 Slow down! Judy, don't freak out. 204 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:44,524 - My bad. - Yeah, that was, uh-- What happened? 205 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,859 That was me driving. 206 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,654 Maybe I'll just come inside and help you guys with that puzzle. 207 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,782 Yep. Yep. Low likelihood of killing anyone doing that. 208 00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:55,576 This beige part kind of looks like a statue, I think. 209 00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:58,996 Huh. I thought I detected notes of neoclassicism. 210 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,290 Huh. Is this maybe a woman? 211 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,750 Takes one to know one. 212 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,919 That sounded mean, but I just meant it literally. 213 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:09,131 Oh. It is a woman. And I, uh, think it's a nude woman. 214 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,801 Oh. Uh, yep. Uh, it sure is. 215 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,303 Okay. This just went up a little notch in the fun department. 216 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:15,721 Should we stop? 217 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,640 Moon has never even seen an R-rated movie. 218 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,309 I've seen literally hundreds of R-rated movies, Wolf. 219 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:24,063 We watched Dismemberer 2: Members Only together last night. 220 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,565 And besides, we can't stop. 221 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,234 Need I remind you all that we've never not finished a puzzle? 222 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,279 Look, at some point in your lives, you will all encounter a naked woman. 223 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:35,741 Not necessarily in person but inevitably on the Internet, and it's not a big deal. 224 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,369 The most important thing is nobody shame her. 225 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,955 YDYG. You do you, girl. 226 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,630 - Alanis? - Oh. Hey, Jude. 227 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,923 Sorry if I'm interrupting. 228 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,217 Well, I was organizing my key chains. 229 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,596 I have so many Garfields, I'm classifying them by expression. 230 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,640 So far I have "Loving Lasagna" and "Mad About Monday." 231 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,351 But I've always got time for you. What's the haps, chicken flaps? 232 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,605 Well, uh, Honeybee made me a fake fast-food drive-through 233 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,441 to try to teach me how to drive, but I almost killed two of my brothers. 234 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,484 Well, you've got one more, so no big whoop. 235 00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,111 Alanis, it was a disaster. 236 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,739 Yeah, well, maybe it's just hard for you to learn from your family. 237 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:15,823 It's too much pressure. 238 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,075 My mom tried to teach me to knit, and I got so stressed out 239 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,869 that I just ended up eating all the yarn. 240 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,037 Yikes. 241 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,581 Aren't there some folks outside your family who can help teach you? 242 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,833 Huh. You know, that's actually not a bad idea. All right. 243 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:29,420 Tomorrow, I'm gonna head into town and shop myself around. 244 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,505 Maybe don't say it like that. But-But yeah. 245 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,133 Okay, you get behind the wheel. 246 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,135 I'm gonna go steal my fax machine back. 247 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,553 Get ready to floor it. 248 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:38,846 No, no! - Don't worry. 249 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,556 You'll get used to Toby doing this. 250 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:43,184 Now, depress the brake and start the car. 251 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,811 Yep, okay, you waved him on. Okay, now-- 252 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,105 Oh, you waved her on. You could just-- 253 00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,315 It's your turn, Judy! 254 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,150 I mean, sorry. Um, maybe go? 255 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:54,278 Okay, here we go. Here we go. 256 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:56,656 Where you going? Ju-- Judy! 257 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,782 Toby! 258 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,034 Judy! 259 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:03,954 All right. Now that the puzzle has gotten a bit more graphic, 260 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:07,500 this handy partition will create a nude zone and a clean zone. 261 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,670 Up here in the G-rated section, looks like we got a face. 262 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,298 And then a whole bunch of sky with some weirdly colored clouds 263 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:15,675 or fireworks or something? 264 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:19,095 It's getting late. Maybe we cool it and resume in the a.m.? 265 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,931 Counterpoint, we stay up all night and ride the lightning. 266 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,766 Finish this Segmented Sally by dawn? 267 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,351 I knew you were gonna say that. 268 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,144 I'm gonna get another "Puzzle-politan." 269 00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:31,023 So, having people outside your family teach you was a bust too, huh? 270 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,900 Man, Judy, what the hell is this about? 271 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,276 I truly do not know. 272 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,654 I'm so frustrated with myself I could scream. 273 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,199 There. I did it. 274 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,867 Driving is just scary. 275 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,453 And there's no one left in this butthole town to help me. 276 00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:45,538 I've tried everybody. 277 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,082 Well, not everybody. 278 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,584 I said ahem because I meant me. 279 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,128 - You? - Uh, yeah. 280 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,839 Who do you think has been driving my tour bus for the last 30 years? 281 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:58,426 Alanis, no offense, but you're imaginary. That would be illegal. 282 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,387 Oh, come on, Judy. No one cares about the law anymore. 283 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,680 Listen, it's night time. 284 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:03,889 We'll take back roads. 285 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,808 Okay, fine. 286 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,561 Some of these you really have to force. 287 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,438 Babe, that doesn't fit. 288 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,607 Hi. 289 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,859 Rock star jump scare. 290 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,903 - Oh, convertible. Can we put the top down? - Oh, uh, sure. 291 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:21,365 I love when the wind blows my beanie off and I can treat myself to a new one. 292 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,742 Here we go. 293 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,580 Huh. Wow. Weird. 294 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,874 I feel way more calm having you next to me, Alanis. 295 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:30,958 Glad I can help. 296 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,586 Just think of the things you'll be able to do once you get your license. 297 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,755 Drive to an art show in a far-off city. 298 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,924 Follow a jam band around the country selling falafel out of your trunk. 299 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:42,261 Think about how many letters I could mail at the drive-through post office. 300 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,638 Oh, hell yeah. Bad to the bone, Jude. 301 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,892 Moon, you've really made some headway with the head. 302 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,603 Why, thank you. Ah, here it is. 303 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:54,857 And now you'll all be saying, "Aye, aye" as I have completed the eye-- 304 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,318 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 305 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:58,694 Moon, my God. What is it? 306 00:12:58,694 --> 00:12:59,779 Oh, my God! 307 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,491 No, no, no! 308 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,202 Oh, my-- Oh, good Lord. 309 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,912 What in the world? What is happening? 310 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,914 {\an8}Honeybee, that nude is our mother! 311 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,123 {\an8}Oh, this is too good. 312 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,333 {\an8}Now, I'm glad I stayed. 313 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,002 I always said I wanted to know Mom better but not like this. 314 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,463 I'm gonna go get my things and move away for a while. 315 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,589 Just a few years. 316 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,509 {\an8}That pose is too sensual for a son's eyes. 317 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,261 {\an8}- Okay, you guys have got to stop yelling. - No! No, we don't! 318 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,596 We yell forever now! 319 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,014 Okay, it's covered. 320 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,098 You can come back. 321 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:32,436 How in hell or high water did our mom put out a line of puzzles? 322 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:35,272 Uh, I don't think this is the type of puzzle you buy in a store, babe. 323 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,650 She must have turned a photo into a puzzle to give as a gift. 324 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,569 I bet Kathleen was gonna give it to her lover, Marcus. 325 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,656 But then maybe she decided to give him something else. 326 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,824 Like sex. 327 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,116 Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry, Dad. 328 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:48,994 Guys, let's just put this away and never talk about it again. 329 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,996 You mean not finish a puzzle? 330 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,415 Look guys, we stand here at a fork in the road. 331 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,418 On one path, we just put these pieces back in the box. 332 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:59,213 On the other, well, we muscle through this 333 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:02,925 and finish a pornographic puzzle of this family's matriarch. 334 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:06,554 Dad, I mean, yeah, we all did not enjoy how much Mom we just saw. 335 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,765 But my bigger concern is that's a picture of Mom, 336 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,892 and we-- we don't want you to be upset. 337 00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,143 - You know? - I know, Son. 338 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,480 In the past, I have not handled missing your mom very well. 339 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:20,484 Eating some of her hair out of a brush she left behind was a true low point. 340 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,111 I'm seconds away from calling 911. 341 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,572 But I'm ostensibly over your mother. 342 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,991 And completing this task is more important 343 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,827 than the devastating wreckage left by the love of my life 344 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,912 when she abandoned me and her four children. 345 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,372 All right then, Father. 346 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,457 - On we shall puzzle. - Don't worry. 347 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:39,169 After we're done, we can draw a thick sweater over her entire body. 348 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,005 You know, now that I've calmed down, 349 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,716 it's kind of cool to see the door from which I entered Earth. 350 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,260 My door is that scar on her stomach. 351 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:50,264 Kids, you keep working on your mom's head, and I'll work on finishing her body. 352 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:52,016 I know it pretty well. 353 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,310 Dad, may I be the first to say, "No, thank you." 354 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,686 Yep. Yep. Got it. 355 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:56,770 You know, m'Jude, 356 00:14:56,770 --> 00:15:00,190 I read an imaginary article that said the best time to talk to teens is in the car, 357 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,318 'cause they're freaks who don't wanna look you in the eye. 358 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,944 I look plenty of people in the eye, Alanis. 359 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,905 Even when they have a lazy eye I still look at it. 360 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,699 I look right at it, and then I whisper, "I accept you." 361 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:09,783 Good to know. 362 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:12,620 But should we maybe troubleshoot why you've been so bad at driving? 363 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,205 I mean, what exactly scares you about it, Judy? 364 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:20,210 Well, it isn't really that I'm scared. I actually feel, like, overly excited. 365 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,087 And then the excitement gets me all worked up. 366 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:23,422 And then I do stupid stuff. 367 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,549 - Huh. How do you mean? - It's like... 368 00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:26,759 ♪ It's like ♪ 369 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,093 Oh, okay. We're singing. 370 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:31,722 ♪ It's like if I could drive I could drive to the mall ♪ 371 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:35,601 ♪ The dock or the zoo Or a smoke-filled gambling hall ♪ 372 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,312 Ooh. That last one interests me. Love to roll the bones. 373 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,857 ♪ What if I keep going? I know it's part of growing ♪ 374 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,401 ♪ But maybe I'm like my mom deep down ♪ 375 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:48,238 ♪ She left and just never Ever turned around ♪ 376 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:50,449 The thing is, I get this feeling when I'm behind the wheel 377 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,160 that I could keep going, and, well, sometimes I want to. 378 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,746 ♪ But what if you never leave? ♪ 379 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:59,375 ♪ I know you think your mom's a curse ♪ 380 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:03,003 ♪ But what if you let her bog you down And you stay in town? ♪ 381 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:05,255 ♪ That would be so much worse ♪ 382 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:10,177 ♪ Judy, I do believe You have so much up your sleeve ♪ 383 00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,554 ♪ You need to see Tokyo ♪ 384 00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:15,516 ♪ And the Land of Cleve ♪ 385 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,600 Hello, Cleveland. 386 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,894 ♪ Yeah, what if I never left? ♪ 387 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:21,855 ♪ I would be beyond bereft ♪ 388 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:24,233 ♪ I can see how much worse that would be ♪ 389 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,902 ♪ I'd become a bitter crone Living all alone ♪ 390 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:31,281 ♪ Yelling at kids stealing apples From my tree ♪ 391 00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:34,159 ♪ You'll go to Kenai with the JAK Pak ♪ 392 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,703 Still hate that name, by the way. 393 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,706 And then, yeah, someday you will leave for college and your own life. 394 00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,750 ♪ But now and then you will come back ♪ 395 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,169 And look, you have a trained pet snake. That's rad. 396 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,755 ♪ Someday I might take off for real ♪ 397 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:51,802 ♪ But I'm not abandoning my family That's not my deal ♪ 398 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,972 ♪ Still I gotta see how The real world feels ♪ 399 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,349 ♪ Even if my dad-- ♪ 400 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,434 Judy. 401 00:16:58,434 --> 00:16:59,518 ♪ My dad ♪ 402 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,353 - Judy, eyes on the road. - My dad! 403 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,402 Oh. And there it is. The last piece. 404 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,404 My nude mother's upper neck. 405 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:14,408 Would you all give me a moment to be able to view it without the partition? 406 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,369 Oh. Oh, my goodness. 407 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,372 Dad, what is it? Don't tell me we're missing a piece again. 408 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:21,623 Remember when Moon was three 409 00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:24,251 and he ate the last piece of the Gorbachev's birthmark puzzle? 410 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:25,878 No, all the pieces are here, Son. 411 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,548 It's just that I think this might have been a present for me. 412 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,091 I actually took this photo. 413 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,343 I didn't know you were a freak, Beef. Respect. 414 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,803 It was many years ago. 415 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,848 {\an8}Late at night, we were near the aquarium in Death Cliff. 416 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,309 Your mom always had a thing for jellyfish, 417 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:44,688 and she insisted we break in and get a picture in front of the jellyfish tank. 418 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,691 I didn't know she planned to disrobe, but you know your mom 419 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,151 when she puts her mind to something. 420 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,360 Like leaving us. 421 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,946 She was so determined to do it, and then she did. 422 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,239 I remember telling your mom 423 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,785 I wanted her to turn that photo into a jigsaw puzzle for me. 424 00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,579 She must have done it and then forgot about it because of, 425 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,499 you know, being drunk all the time and having affairs. 426 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,250 Well, that's understandable. 427 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,753 The night ended when she climbed into the jellyfish tank 428 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,421 and got stung a whole bunch. 429 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:13,717 But I guess she actually did do something thoughtful one time, and that's nice. 430 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,220 She was a puzzle in every way. 431 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:19,056 Oh. Uh, hey, Jude. Are you calling from upstairs? 432 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,892 Did you dream a sonnet again? Should I bring up your parchments? 433 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,977 Wait, what? What? Are you okay? 434 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,479 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 435 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:27,356 Send me your location. I'll be right there. 436 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,859 Guys, Judy's okay, but she drove by herself, and she crashed. 437 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:32,528 I'm gonna go get her. 438 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:33,987 I'm so glad Judy's okay. 439 00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,197 Me too. 440 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:38,367 So, should we do another puzzle? 441 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,452 - Oh, absolutely. - I'll get more alcohol. 442 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,456 And I'll go get the 500-piece golden retriever puppies in a field. 443 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:48,293 - Judy, you're sure you're all right? - Yes, truly, I'm fine. 444 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:52,381 I spilled my kombucha on my lap, and I crashed Honeybee's car again. 445 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,341 But she's pretty used to that, so... 446 00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:57,386 Jude, I gotta say, I'm surprised you're out here all alone. 447 00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:01,181 You wouldn't let anyone help you learn to drive because you said you hate it, 448 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,600 and now I find you out driving by yourself? 449 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,895 I'm glad you're okay, but I don't understand what's going on. 450 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:10,440 Well, I was finally driving on my own tonight, for the most part. 451 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,109 And I did a lot of productive thinking, 452 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,820 and I figured out that I actually find driving pretty exciting. 453 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,323 Maybe too exciting, because it's the first step to leaving. 454 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,992 You know, like seeing the world. 455 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:20,951 Oh. 456 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,662 And part of me, I think, subconsciously worries 457 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,081 I have some dormant part of Mom in me. 458 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:30,544 Like maybe I'm also some kind of douchebag who's gonna leave and never come back. 459 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,838 - You wouldn't. - No, of course not. 460 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,507 But will you be mad at me if I do decide to leave 461 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,843 and go to college in Chicago or something? 462 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,094 Oh, it's Chicago now? 463 00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:41,263 Well, at least that's closer than Prague. 464 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,474 Judy, let me make two things perfectly clear. 465 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:47,519 One, I never ever want you to leave Lone Moose. 466 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,855 Two, I'll be furious if you don't. 467 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,190 Okay, Dad. 468 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,358 Now, let's tow Honeybee's car home. 469 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:56,862 She's pretty tipsy at the moment, so it's a good time for her to see it. 470 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,033 Should I smile or, I don't know, like, make a serious face? 471 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,202 Just like, "This is a car," or like, look mysterious or-- 472 00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,372 Here's your puzzle. Shellacked and ready to hang. 473 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:08,624 Thank you. 474 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,210 And I had no idea you were into aquarium erotica. 475 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,921 Oh. I'm not. I me-- I mean, well, I am. 476 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,632 I-- What-- What I'm trying to say is it was a gift. 477 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,800 Well, I included another gift. 478 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,262 It's an 8-by-10 of yours truly in a see-through leotard 479 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:25,933 near a standee of Sammy the Sassy Seaward Sea Otter. 480 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:31,855 Ah. Well, thanks very much to both you and your friend Samuel. 481 00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:37,611 This spot for the nude that got away, and this spot for the maybe someday. 482 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,656 Okay, the JAK Pak is not even out of Lone Moose yet, 483 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,741 and I am already having the time of my life. 484 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:45,661 Hey, do you guys think we should change the name of our friend group? 485 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,996 - What? - No, the JAK Pak is the perfect name. 486 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,289 It sounds like a porno. 487 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:50,832 JAK Pak! 488 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:53,835 {\an8}♪ We are the JAK Pak JAK Pak ♪ 489 00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:55,629 {\an8}♪ Let us take a step back ♪ 490 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,256 {\an8}♪ Ooh ♪ 491 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,925 {\an8}♪ Lone Moose's most enticing Best of girlfriends ♪ 492 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,761 {\an8}♪ With scintillating hobbies Like collecting pens ♪ 493 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:03,929 {\an8}♪ Pens ♪ 494 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:07,516 {\an8}♪ What we did on the field trip Got everyone talking 'bout us ♪ 495 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,018 {\an8}- ♪ It was crazy how we barfed on a bus ♪ - ♪ How we barfed on a bus ♪ 496 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:12,771 {\an8}♪ When it's late Yeah, that's right, baby ♪ 497 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:16,817 {\an8}♪ Watching the British Pride and Prejudice Series adapted by Andrew Davies ♪ 498 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,361 {\an8}♪ We are the JAK Pak JAK Pak ♪ 499 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,862 {\an8}♪ Let us take a step back ♪ 500 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:22,864 ♪ Ooh ♪