1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:03,169 ♪ Look up there ♪ 2 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:05,922 - ♪ What do you see? ♪ - ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:07,590 - ♪ Like a rock ♪ - ♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,719 [all] ♪ Hup, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,763 {\an8}- ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ - [all] ♪ Hup, hey, oh ♪ 6 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:16,891 {\an8}- ♪ Catch some fish ♪ - ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 7 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:17,892 {\an8}♪ Wow ♪ 8 00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:21,104 {\an8}♪ Hup, the Great North ♪ 9 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,106 - ♪ Here we live ♪ - [all] ♪ Hup, oh ♪ 10 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,357 - ♪ Here we'll stay ♪ - ♪ Whoo ♪ 11 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,192 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 12 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:29,237 ♪ In the Great North ♪ 13 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:33,700 {\an8}[cheering] 14 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:37,120 [Judy crying] 15 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,624 {\an8}What's with you? Do you have FOMO? I just heard about that 16 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:45,420 {\an8}'cause Honeybee's been making me watch a show called Epic FOMO Failures. 17 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:48,339 {\an8}I do not have FOMO, beloved Aunt Dirt. 18 00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:49,883 {\an8}I have sad-o. 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:54,345 {\an8}Because, alas, my relationship with Cool Mike has come to an end. 20 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:58,266 {\an8}Wait, you were dating Cool Mike? How did I not know that? He's very cool. 21 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,895 {\an8}Did he break up with you in a cool way? Like on a skateboard or something? 22 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,563 {\an8}He didn't dump me, okay? 23 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,983 {\an8}It was a mutual and amicable decision. [sobs] 24 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,069 {\an8}So then why the screams, Teen Dream? 25 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,528 {\an8}Because it is so sad 26 00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:13,948 {\an8}when two equally cool people like us can't make it work. 27 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:18,078 {\an8}Oh, is that why there was no new episode of Judy on Blast on VidVok this morning? 28 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,371 {\an8}Yes. Yes. I have ended the show. 29 00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:23,249 {\an8}Thank you for respecting my privacy at this difficult time. 30 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:26,044 {\an8}You know what? I think it's actually a good thing that you're this upset. 31 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,088 {\an8}In fact, I'm thrilled that you're this bummed. 32 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,506 {\an8}You are? 33 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,300 {\an8}Yes. Whenever one of my female friends back in Fresno was bummed, 34 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,427 {\an8}I'd organize an amazing ladies' night. 35 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,638 {\an8}Your brother can tell you, I have really been missing those. 36 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,307 {\an8}It's true. She sings Beyoncè's Renaissance album 37 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,601 {\an8}beginning to end almost every night in her sleep. 38 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:45,438 {\an8}I'm gonna fix this for you, girl. A good ladies' night can cure any problem. 39 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,525 {\an8}What about a very tenacious foot fungus? No reason. 40 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,610 {\an8}Oh, definitely. But you're not invited. 41 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,904 {\an8}Judy, you can keep eating. Just blink twice if you're in. 42 00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:54,614 - [sobbing] Blink. Blink. - [Honeybee] Amazing. 43 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,867 Trust me, Judy. I've planned hundreds of ladies' nights over the years. 44 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:58,952 Hundreds? 45 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,995 You're right. It's probably closer to thousands. 46 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,164 I threw one when Veronica got asymmetrical bangs, 47 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,416 and by the end of the night, I swear they were straight across. 48 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,918 I also threw one for Caroline 49 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,337 when her lip fillers hardened into a sort of a beak. 50 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,631 Your friends really shouldn't go to the salon. 51 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,384 - Aunt Dirt, you want in? - No, in my day, a girls' night meant 52 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,345 meeting up at the Lone Moose Heterosexual Courting Society 53 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,597 to have local men evaluate your hips for birthing. 54 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:22,600 Nuh-uh. On a Honeybee night, it's forbidden to talk about men. 55 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,562 The only D's we're interested in are drinking, dancing 56 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,148 and Domino's limited-edition cheese-on-the-bottom pizza. 57 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,567 - Well, then I'm all in. - Great. We leave at 8:00. 58 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,486 [gasps] That's only 13 hours away. I better go get ready. 59 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,196 It takes 13 hours to prepare? 60 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,824 Yes, I have to take every piece of clothing out of my closet 61 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,368 and throw it on the floor before deciding I have nothing to wear 62 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,744 and going to buy a new outfit. 63 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,705 - Judy, you wanna come with? - [sobbing] 64 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:47,083 Okay. Well, I'll just pick you up some very uncomfortable high heels 65 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,751 that you can take off halfway through the night. 66 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:52,255 If the ladies are busy tonight, you fellas thinking what I'm thinking? 67 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,715 That we'll miss them terribly? 68 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,217 That a taco is basically just a type of sandwich? 69 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,386 Uh, I was gonna say boys' night. 70 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,806 I'm in. I'll prepare my weapons and reread The Art of War. 71 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:05,852 Hmm. It'll probably be more of a pizza and action movie kind of thing. 72 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,645 Oh, there will be action. 73 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:11,316 Rivalries, anger, fisticuffs, a raw return to nature. 74 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,984 Oh! And let's do dips. 75 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:16,029 [Beef, Ham, Moon and Wolf] Boys' night. Boys' night. Boys' night! 76 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,655 - [Judy sobbing] - Get ready, Judy. 77 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,824 By the end of the night, your spirit will be renewed 78 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:22,785 and your breakup with Cool You-know-who will be a distant memory. 79 00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,287 Rest in peace, Dumb Mike. 80 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,581 I can't... [sobs] ...wait to feel better. 81 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,416 First things first. Let's put the top down 82 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,752 and throw our hands in the air like we just don't care. 83 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,003 Whoo-hoo. 84 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,798 Next up, Dance Cliff. The all-ages danceteria in Death Cliff. 85 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,760 The place with the big cliff in the middle of the dance floor? 86 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,471 Yep. People get hurt there all the time, but it's exciting. 87 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,640 Sorry we're late. 88 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,142 We were getting the perfect boys' night snack from Val-U-Buy. 89 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:48,228 You can't spell boys without Bagel Bites. 90 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,229 Oh, hell yeah. 91 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:53,399 And Moon, very thoughtfully, had me take him to the last Blockbuster in the world 92 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:56,319 in Whippleton to get us two great action films on Blu-Ray. 93 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,154 Anything for my boys. 94 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,114 Uh, why is Moon dressed like that? 95 00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:04,118 A better question, Jerry: Why aren't any of you dressed like this? 96 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,704 How am I the only one prepared for boys' night? 97 00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:10,250 Moon, tonight is actually just gonna be a pleasant eve 98 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,710 with a group of like-minded gentlemen. 99 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,838 Oh, Dad, you fool. Plan for all the pleasantries you want. 100 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,841 But when you gather this many boys in one space for the night, 101 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,219 it always ends in all-out war. 102 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,764 That may have been true of boys' nights in medieval times, Moon, 103 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,975 but now we are in regular evil times. 104 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,936 So, let's talk about what movie we're gonna watch. 105 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,647 Olympus Has Fallen or White House Down? 106 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,649 - Olympus Has Fallen. - White House Down all the way. 107 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,318 - Oh, I'll kill you. - Over my dead body. 108 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,653 Uh, you guys okay? 109 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,364 No. The only real fight Cheesecake and I have ever had 110 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,157 was over which of those movies was better. 111 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:46,744 Oh, a rivalry? Hmm. How interesting. 112 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:49,706 I wasn't aware of that when I hand-selected these films. 113 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,207 Moon, what have you done? 114 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,667 - Are you freaking kidding me? - This is madness. 115 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,086 - [Wolf] You have no idea what you're-- - And so it begins. 116 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,006 So a few people drowned in the fog machine, 117 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,632 and now no one gets to have any fun? 118 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,634 Thanks a lot, health department. Ugh. 119 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,178 It's okay, Honeybee. We can just go home. 120 00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:06,306 No, no, no, I've never had a ladies' night go wrong, 121 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,849 and I'm not about to start tonight. 122 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,100 Not for your first one. 123 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,644 I got it. We can go to Takes A Long Way Home 124 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,271 and get spontaneous makeovers. 125 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,190 Nothing says "forget that guy" like a deep smoky eye. 126 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:19,610 Sure. I have a coupon from them for a free Brazilian blowie. 127 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:22,071 I think you mean "blowout," but yeah. 128 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:28,119 - What in the world is-- Ah, no, no, no! - [tires screeching] 129 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,746 - [thuds] - [Honeybee and driver scream] 130 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,291 - Oh, he's getting out of the car. - [driver] Oh, good God. 131 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:37,170 Oh, no! My beautiful tank. My home. 132 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,505 What have you done? All my glitter water's running out. 133 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,300 Why the heck are you driving around with a huge tank of glitter water? 134 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:45,136 [gasps] Let me calm down so I can explain. 135 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,722 [gasps] Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. 136 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,099 Hmm, ma. 137 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:53,353 My name is Miami. Professional erotic merman performer. 138 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,396 May I present my card? 139 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,315 You hold them up to your ear, you can hear the ocean. 140 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,733 Uh, thanks? 141 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,526 - Sorry we bumped into you. - You should be. 142 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,987 I have two big gigs tonight back-to-freaking-back, 143 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,781 and nobody likes a dry show. 144 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,032 - [engine sputters] - Ugh. 145 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,743 My car is flooded. Can you give me a ride? 146 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,119 Fat chance, Charlie Tuna. 147 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:13,831 Dirt! Um, excuse me, sir. Just a moment. Let me confer with my girls. 148 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,209 Of course. I'll just warm up my siren song 149 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,419 while you decide how to make this up to me. 150 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:21,255 ♪ La da da dee, la da da da ♪ 151 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:24,759 What is it? Are you gonna Shape of Water this guy? I won't tell Wolf. 152 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,845 No, but I think he might be the key to getting our ladies' night back on track. 153 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:29,013 Really? How? 154 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,891 I'm thinking wherever this guy's going, it's bound to be a party, 155 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,851 and that's just what Judy's booty needs. 156 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,687 - Sure, but, actually, I just wanna-- - Ah-ah-ah. 157 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,856 An unexpected twist can be a good thing. 158 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:41,692 One time we were supposed to take our friend Jessica out to Club Sweat 159 00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:42,777 for a UB40 night, 160 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,321 but we got the date wrong and it was thrash metal night. 161 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:47,949 But she ended up meeting her husband Thor there. 162 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,700 They just had their second kid, Anarchin. 163 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,619 Oh, uh-- Actually, I was thinking 164 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,539 maybe if I could, like, talk to you guys about Cool Mike-- 165 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,332 Ah-ah. Judy, what did I tell you? 166 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,543 Dwelling on that guy is just gonna bring you down. 167 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,211 You gotta trust your Honeybee, okay? 168 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:03,172 This fishman is just what the ladies' night doctor ordered. 169 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,465 Okay, you're the boss. 170 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:07,260 ♪ Fa la la la, bah bee bah bee bah ♪ 171 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,511 All right, let's do this. 172 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,388 But if he turns out to be a real mermaid, 173 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,141 I am turning him in to the government to be dissected. 174 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,647 Mer, man, mer, man, mer, man. 175 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,524 Um, hello again, Merman sir. 176 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,776 We were just headed out for a night on the town ourselves. 177 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,404 - So we're gonna give you that ride. - Oh, great. 178 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,657 If I miss a gig, I'll be in big trouble and I won't get my 14%. 179 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,827 - Sorry, you'll be in trouble with... - My mermadam, Ethel, 180 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:37,373 who does take 86% of my sensual dance fee and does have a temper. 181 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,667 A violent, insatiable fury. 182 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,420 Interesting. Is there a Mr. Ethel mermadam? 183 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,298 No. I do suspect she has killed two husbands though. 184 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,757 I'm liking her more and more. 185 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:50,178 Let me text my tank guy to come pick up the tank before Ethel finds out. 186 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,889 Last time I broke it, she broke all my fingers. 187 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:53,806 - Holy crap. - [Judy gasps] 188 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,809 All the ladyfinger confectionery treats I bought her as an apology. 189 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,395 I feel like you paused on purpose to get a reaction. 190 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:00,813 And I feel like you loved it. 191 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,857 - [phone beeps] - Ooh, tank guy's on the way. 192 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:06,152 All right, let's flee this scene and heal our team. 193 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,488 Wait till the girls in Fresno hear about this. 194 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,865 This is better than the night we gave a guy in a Grimace costume 195 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:11,949 a ride to the Olive Garden 196 00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,951 and accidentally waited while he did a robbery. 197 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,537 So, uh, why were you all headed out on the town? 198 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:19,499 Just a traditional ladies' night for a little cheer-up after a breakup. 199 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,542 Classic. Who's our dumped dame? 200 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:22,919 [sobs] I am. 201 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,922 - [sighs] There was this guy-- - Who shall not be named. 202 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,466 - That guy is dead to us. - And may be dead for real. 203 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,176 Let's see where the night takes us. 204 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,428 [Wolf] What? Are you nuts? 205 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:36,265 Olympus Has Fallen is by far the superior Die Hard-with-the-president movie. 206 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:39,185 The only thing that's fallen is my respect for you. 207 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,979 White House Down is hands down the best. 208 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,357 I don't know how anyone can prefer Olympus. 209 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,692 Gerard Butler? More like Gerard Butt. 210 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,987 Ham, I love you, but you're legitimately psychotic, and I'm not sure 211 00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:51,572 - we should be together anymore. - [gasps] 212 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,908 Jerry, please don't say you like White House Down better. 213 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,493 Uh, I've already lost one brother. 214 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,577 That's right you have. 215 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,372 Do you see this look on my face? It's a White House frown. 216 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,624 My Olympus torch will never die. 217 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,084 Henry, which side are you on? 218 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,169 Does either movie have minions or nudity? 219 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:08,214 Channing's down to a tank top at some point, if that counts. 220 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,841 And I'll pick this side because it's closer. 221 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:13,594 You disgust me, Delmer. You all disgust me. 222 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,347 Cheesecake, I'd marry Channing Tatum in a heartbeat. 223 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,807 You know that. We've talked about that. 224 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:21,269 But Olympus Has Fallen is head and shoulders above White House Down. 225 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,562 Let's talk facts. 226 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,398 Tatum's John Cale in White House Down is so much more heroic 227 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,650 than Butler's Mike Banning in Olympus Has Fallen. 228 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,610 Cale is a Capitol police officer, 229 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,363 while Gerard Butler is just Secret Service. 230 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:35,533 It's literally Butler's job to protect the president with his life. 231 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,952 Tatum's John Cale has no such mandate, 232 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,621 yet he still chooses to step into the breach. 233 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,748 I'll step into your breach, Ham. [grunts] 234 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:46,294 Gentlemen, we are not going to descend into fisticuffs. 235 00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,421 Guys, guys, Dad's right. 236 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:52,925 I know I orchestrated this chaos, but now it-it doesn't feel right. 237 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,218 This isn't who we are. 238 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:57,430 Wow. I appreciate you saying that, Moon. I agree. 239 00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:01,225 Oh, maybe we can watch both movies. One group can watch in the guesthouse. 240 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,102 [chuckles] On the tiny TV? 241 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,354 Wolf, this is the peaceful solution. 242 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:08,065 Fine. Olympus boys, let's go. 243 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:11,444 Here. You guys can take all the Bagel Bites to heat up out there. 244 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,446 - Peace offering. - Thanks, Moon. 245 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,906 Dang. These are heavy. It must be all those cheeses. 246 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,327 There we go. Let our men's night of fellowship resume. 247 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,829 Bye, everyone. See you in hell. 248 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,166 {\an8}- [Honeybee] So, your first gig is here? - Oh, yeah. 249 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,753 Just 'cause you're almost dead doesn't mean you're not erotically inclined. 250 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,296 All horndogs go to heaven. 251 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,632 [sighs] I hope they don't riot 'cause I don't have my tank. 252 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,801 Last time, one of them threw a crutch at me when I wouldn't go back to her room. 253 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,637 Ooh. Getting on stage during a ladies' night is 254 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,639 a time-honored way to get your groove back. 255 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,641 We could back you up, add a little 'zazz. 256 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,809 - Can't hurt. - And Judy's a born performer. 257 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,728 She even has her own VidVok talk show. 258 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:49,398 Had. I, uh, chose to end it-- on my own terms. 259 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,776 You guys dance if you want. It's not for me. 260 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:55,071 Hmm. Judy Tobin turning down a chance to grab the spotlight? 261 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,864 - That's not like you. - I'll do it. 262 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,909 And if you need me to pop my top off, just give me a nod. 263 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:02,995 Miss Dirt, hit it. 264 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,706 ♪ Oh, when the tide comes in The sands are getting wet ♪ 265 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:06,666 Oh, yeah! 266 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,585 ♪ Gonna take you on a journey You won't soon forget ♪ 267 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:10,961 Shake that fin, bad boy! 268 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,254 [sobbing] 269 00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,256 ♪ I'm the king of the ocean ♪ 270 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,009 ♪ Watch this body in motion ♪ 271 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,887 ♪ Half man, half fish ♪ 272 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:20,805 Come on. 273 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,431 ♪ It's Miami, bish ♪ 274 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,225 Hi, Babs. 275 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,976 Gloria, are those new teeth? 276 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:28,396 I love performing for you guys. 277 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,481 [wailing] 278 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:32,775 Uh-oh. 279 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,403 [Judy wailing] 280 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,238 Judy, what's going on? 281 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:40,199 Sometimes people are very moved by my dance. 282 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,743 She'll recover eventually, but she'll never be the same. 283 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,328 [sobs] It's not that. 284 00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:45,788 I mean, it was a good dance. 285 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:50,292 It's just-- It's C-o-o-l M-i-k-e. 286 00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:53,170 Seeing you guys on stage reminded me of him. 287 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:56,716 I know the point of ladies' night is not to talk about guys, 288 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,676 but wha-- what if I need to? 289 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,052 Oh, damn, Judy. 290 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,346 I got so caught up in trying to fix your problem my way 291 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:03,681 that I haven't been listening. 292 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:06,267 Spill it, honey. We're here. Why did y'all break up? 293 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,811 Did he tell you your legs look weird with your body? 294 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,062 Wait, what? 295 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,605 Oh, well, they don't. 296 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:15,109 See the thing is, I thought I was his real girlfriend, but then I found out 297 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:18,112 I was his-- his secret girlfriend. 298 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,947 - Oh, no. - Oh, yes. 299 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,534 Because he was... [sobs] ... embarrassed of me. [sobbing] 300 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:26,704 Embarrassed of you? I don't care what his name says. That's not cool. 301 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,872 Embarrassed of what? 302 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:31,459 I think it was just like me in general, but specifically 303 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:34,545 - my-my... [sobs] ...my VidVok show. - Oh! 304 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,298 That's why I deleted all the old episodes of Judy On Blast 305 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,091 and foreswore my life of performing. 306 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,844 Well, it's been a while since I sent a teenager to the infirmary, 307 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,679 but I think I remember how. 308 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:50,394 {\an8}[Aunt Dirt] So, this fool Mike broke up with you over some show? 309 00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:51,479 It's not just some show. 310 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,815 It was my VidVok show, and it was called Judy on Blast. 311 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:55,816 - Yeesh. - Dirt! 312 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:59,528 And it was a live daily talk show where I interview my fellow students 313 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,197 and sometimes sing a little song or do a dance. 314 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,032 But it doesn't matter because it's dead and gone. 315 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,284 So is my budding variety-hosting career. 316 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,412 You see, Kima sits behind Cool Mike in government, and she overheard him 317 00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:11,415 telling his friend Jace that my VidVok show was too embarrassing. 318 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:13,584 That's why I didn't want to get onstage with you tonight. 319 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,337 Judy, I'm sorry. I promised you a great ladies' night. 320 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:20,007 And instead, I got you crying in some kind of cursed retirement home chapel. 321 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,217 I really messed this up. 322 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,301 It's okay, Honeybee. 323 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:25,221 We can just go home, and I'll give myself an impulsive haircut 324 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,181 and start working on a whole new personality. 325 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,933 Now, you hold on, Miss Judy. 326 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,393 - Did you love doing that show? - Uh-huh. 327 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:34,104 - But this boy made you feel ashamed of it? - Uh-huh. 328 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,189 Let me tell you something. 329 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:39,443 Being a performer isn't about being cool. It's about being your true self. 330 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,737 - O-Okay. - I used to be married to a woman 331 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,448 who was embarrassed of the fact that I wanted to be a merman. 332 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,325 Whenever she found me in the tub with my tail on, 333 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,702 - she would dump her salad right on me. - What a waste. 334 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,247 But I wasn't meant to live my life on land. 335 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,917 I was born to be half fish and shake my ass for bachelorette parties. 336 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:55,835 Go off, king. 337 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,963 So I divorced Shaylee and became the merman you see today. 338 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:02,091 Judy, it's time for you to pick up the pieces of the salad 339 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,801 that Cool Mike threw into your tub. 340 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:06,470 He may be cool, but you are a star. 341 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,097 Amen and hallelujah! 342 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:11,600 Now, do you have any idea where we might find this so-called Cool Mike? 343 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,477 He's probably at Crocodile Rob's. 344 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,021 Him and his cool friends go there every Friday 345 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,816 for the Blimey Bondi Beach Bottomless Buffet. 346 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,443 Well then, I think we just booked our next gig. 347 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,070 What about your next real gig? 348 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,573 Your mean mermadam Ethel will be so mad. 349 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,742 This is girls' night, and by God, we're gonna finish it! 350 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,578 Oh, that just gave me chills. 351 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,079 [gunfire and shouting on TV] 352 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,957 Oh, hell yeah. Olympus is falling. 353 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:38,335 And what I need is some Bagel Bites falling into my mouth. 354 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,546 I'll go heat them up. I have a special technique. 355 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,424 I turn the oven on, then put them in. You'll see. 356 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,718 - [gasps] - [Jerry] Crispin, why are you gasping? 357 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,095 Oh, no, did all the tiny pepperonis fall off? 358 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:50,556 Worse. This bag is just full of rocks. 359 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,391 Scoundrels! Moon tricked us. 360 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,686 To quote from one of the greatest movies of all time, Olympus Has Fallen, 361 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,187 which we are currently watching, 362 00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:00,858 "Our foe did not come only to destroy our things or our people. 363 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:04,236 They came to desecrate a way of life, trample our freedom." 364 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,530 Well, Dad, shall we go to war? 365 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:10,075 Okay. I tried to be a gentleman, but enough is enough. 366 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:15,080 If it's war my ten-year-old son wants, then I say it's war he shall get. 367 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,206 Who's with me? 368 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,541 [all cheer] 369 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,712 Ooh! Here comes the part where the White House goes down. 370 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,590 - [all scream] - [Wolf] Show yourself, cowards! 371 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,675 - What the hell. - We're under attack. 372 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,719 I see they got my Bagel Bites. 373 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:29,803 What should we do? 374 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,889 Well, we could stay here and hide. 375 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:36,226 Or I did happen to make 350 very well-packed snowballs 376 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,771 and stash them in the deep freezers downstairs today. 377 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,855 Oh, let's do that. 378 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,357 [all] Yes! 379 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:43,692 [Aunt Dirt] So that's him, huh? 380 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:45,736 I gotta admit, he looks pretty cool. 381 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,988 Yeah, that's his thing. I hate it. 382 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,365 I mean I love it, but I hate it. 383 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:53,452 All right, young lady, I did run your request by my manager, Crocodile Tanya, 384 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,914 and she said it did fall under our "no worries" policy, 385 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:59,333 so whenever you're ready, the floor is yours. 386 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:03,295 As our beer coozies proudly say, "Croc into a cold one." 387 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:06,382 Oh, it won't be cold, and it definitely won't be cool, 388 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,801 but it will be me. 389 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,220 Okay, I need this area clear, three chairs. 390 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,429 Honeybee, you're filming. 391 00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:13,722 Dirt and Miami, you're with me. 392 00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,810 All right, folks, listen up. Bit of a treat for you all. 393 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,896 This young lady hosts a very famous VidVok show 394 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:23,190 - called Judy On Blast. - Yuck. 395 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,400 - Dirt! - Sorry. 396 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,069 Judy? Oh, man. What are you doing? 397 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,823 [bartender] Without further ado, round of applause for tonight's entertainment. 398 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,324 Take it away, Miami! 399 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,826 Hello, everyone. 400 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,912 My name is Miami, erotic merman performer. 401 00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:39,123 Crocodile Tom, would you mind passing out some business cards? 402 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,040 No worries. 403 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,918 Okay, everyone, imagine I'm dancing in a tank. 404 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,336 One step ahead of you. 405 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,464 ♪ It's time for Judy On Blast with Judy ♪ 406 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,175 ♪ Welcome to On Blast She's a cutie ♪ 407 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,552 ♪ It's Judy On Blast ♪ 408 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,053 ♪ Welcome to the show ♪ 409 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,847 Good evening, everybody. I'm Judy. 410 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,016 - Judy. - No talking, strange teen. 411 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,183 You're just the audience. 412 00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,643 I love this. 413 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:04,648 And in just a few minutes, we're gonna welcome to the stage Cool Mike! 414 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:07,943 Ugh. Not cool, Judy. Not cool. 415 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,033 Okay, time for my opening monologue. Miami? 416 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,784 ♪ Monologue music ♪ 417 00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:18,662 - Sidekick? - So, Judy, what's new with you? 418 00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:22,958 Well, until very recently, that guy right there pretending not to see me, 419 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,710 Cool Mike, was... 420 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,212 - Uh, drumroll. - Ba-bum ba-bum ba-dum. 421 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,255 ...my boyfriend. 422 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,506 [laughing] 423 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,341 Well, I mean, I thought he was. 424 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,677 But it turns out while he was happy to make out with me 425 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,054 in the janitor's closet, 426 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,972 which in retrospect should have been a red flag, 427 00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,766 I wasn't his real boo. 428 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,268 I was his "secret girlfriend." 429 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,645 - Honey, no, you're beautiful. - That's right. 430 00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,898 - But he was embarrassed of me. - [Crocodile Tom] Rude. 431 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,400 And, yes, many things I do are very embarrassing. 432 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,485 I talk too loud. 433 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,321 I fart a lot. Like a lot. Like several times just since I got onstage. 434 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,322 Attagirl. 435 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:56,366 And I host this very dumb VidVok show that only a few people watch. 436 00:17:56,366 --> 00:18:00,621 And when I heard that Cool Mike didn't like it, well, that got in my head. 437 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,248 Well, that's a shame. Shame on you, Cool Mike. 438 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:06,627 But tonight my sister-in-law took me on a girls' night, 439 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,170 and the point of a girls' night 440 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,340 is not just to wave your hands in the air like you just don't care. 441 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:15,260 It's to wave yourself in the air like you just do care. 442 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,180 We are getting salads out of bathtubs tonight! 443 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,808 Judy, please. Can we talk about this somewhere else? 444 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,893 Nuh-uh. This is Judy On Blast. 445 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,687 Not secret Judy in a janitor's closet near the vomit bucket. 446 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,606 - It's a cool closet. - It is not. 447 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,817 And if you want to talk about it, Cool Mike, 448 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,485 why don't you come up here onstage? 449 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,695 [all] Cool Mike! Cool Mike! 450 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:36,782 Everyone wants you out here onstage being cool, big guy. 451 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,325 Okay. Fine. Ugh. 452 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:42,079 I'm sorry for what I did or whatever, but it's not my fault. 453 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,498 I just have a lot of pressure on me to be cool. 454 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,416 My whole family's very cool. 455 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:49,128 Don't blame the victim, Cool Mike. Take accountability. 456 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,588 Ugh. Not cool stuff bothers me. 457 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:54,508 Well, then don't make out with that not cool stuff near a mop. 458 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,467 Keep talking, girl. 459 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:59,847 'Cause doing that means that you are factually the one who is not cool. 460 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,808 [all] Not Cool Mike! Not Cool Mike! 461 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:07,396 Ugh. Whatever! I gotta go anyway. I'm late for my X Games tryout. 462 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,480 [whimpers] 463 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,733 More like "good riddance," Mike. [laughs] 464 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,779 And now, everyone, put your hands together again for my house band, Miami. 465 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:18,323 And after his song, I'll be talking to Crocodile Tom 466 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,033 about his favorite appetizers. 467 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,202 [Crocodile Tom] Me? What an honor! 468 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:25,497 - Where are you, you little bagel boy? - [rustling] 469 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,457 - [gasps] - [screaming] 470 00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,376 [both grunting] 471 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,295 Ah! Attack! 472 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,421 [all giggling] 473 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,047 Okay. That was incredible. 474 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:36,675 I know I've only been on one ladies' night, but I wanna say 475 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:40,220 that was the best one in the history of all time and also all future time. 476 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,305 So, I didn't let you down? 477 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,140 Well, it took a couple of adjustments, 478 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:47,936 but I dipped my metaphorical toe fungus into ladies' night, and I was healed! 479 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,522 - [tires screech] - [Miami] Oh, no, it's Ethel. 480 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,441 [gasps] Your scary mermadam? 481 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,569 Miami! You missed your second gig tonight, dumbass. 482 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,405 I had to send Cliff the Unicorn in your place, and no one likes him! 483 00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,907 He can't see out of his damn costume, 484 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,034 and he knocked over the chocolate fountain they had set up. 485 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,744 Now he looks like a dirty donkey. 486 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:07,164 I'm sorry, Ethel, but tonight, I had to tend to my girls. 487 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,416 Yeah, well, you're gonna have to tend to me now 488 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,418 to the amount of 300 bucks. 489 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:14,046 Or we can forget this whole thing, and I could take you inside 490 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,881 for a couple of Vegemite-tinis. 491 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,382 Hi, I'm Dirt. 492 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,927 Deal. But I'm gonna drink $300 worth. 493 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,303 Will you marry me? 494 00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:25,265 All right, let's go put on sweatpants and house these curly fries. 495 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,559 Then we'll take you to pick up your tank. [screams] 496 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,937 - [tires screech] - Oh, hey, hon. How was ladies' night? 497 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,563 Amazing. How was boys' night? 498 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:32,940 Oh, it's still going strong. 499 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,858 I got Cheesecake tied up in the guesthouse, 500 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,818 and I'm forcing him to watch Olympus Has Fallen. 501 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,278 So don't be alarmed when you see him. 502 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,365 Very normal. Oh, and this is Miami, my newest gal pal, 503 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,950 even though he's an erotic merman. 504 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,284 Ah, nice to meet you, Miami. 505 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:48,038 Any erotic merman friend of my wife's is an erotic merman friend of mine. 506 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,999 Get this trash off my White House lawn! 507 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,668 Oh, Dad, we're on the same team! 508 00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,503 There are no teams in boys' night. 509 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,381 - [giggles] I think Maude's is still open. - Good idea. 510 00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,926 I hope they have the clam chowder. Because I love the sea.