1
00:00:02,286 --> 00:00:04,244
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,396 --> 00:00:05,987
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:07,231
-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,291 --> 00:00:09,900
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,495
♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
6
00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:14,905
♪ Catch some fish ♪
7
00:00:14,965 --> 00:00:16,498
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
8
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,516
♪ Wow ♪
9
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:21,245
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,429
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
11
00:00:22,581 --> 00:00:24,097
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
12
00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,582
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
13
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:29,528
♪ In the Great North. ♪
14
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,370
(grunts) All right,
I've chopped this month's wood,
15
00:00:38,563 --> 00:00:41,265
mended the fishing nets,
canned a batch of pepper jelly,
16
00:00:41,283 --> 00:00:42,949
brainstormed
my Halloween costume.
17
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,526
I think people are gonna love me
18
00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:46,694
as Sully
from Monsters University.
19
00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:48,047
And it's... 5:00 a.m.?
20
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,940
Kids'll be up soon.
21
00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:51,866
Ooh, I almost forgot
to stare with wild wonder
22
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:55,888
at Alaska's majesty
while whispering "Hot dog."
23
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,265
(whispers):
Hot dog.
24
00:00:59,060 --> 00:00:59,966
-Dad.
-Moon.
25
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:01,118
Drinking coffee again?
26
00:01:01,178 --> 00:01:02,877
Yes. I am ten.
27
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,471
Besides, I was up all night
tracking a red squirrel
28
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,714
I believe ate some bologna
I was drying on the roof.
29
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,475
-You mean this guy?
-(chittering)
30
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,127
-You got him.
-I'll set him free
31
00:01:10,145 --> 00:01:11,478
once I've had a few words
with him
32
00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:13,221
about whose bologna is whose
around here.
33
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,631
Thank you, Father.
34
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:15,966
Good morning, Ham.
How'd you sleep?
35
00:01:15,984 --> 00:01:17,559
(exhales)
Spectacularly.
36
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,153
I dreamt I tasted an ice cream
flavor called "buffet,"
37
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,139
and I awoke feeling complete.
38
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,474
And then I took a glorious dump.
39
00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:26,251
WOLF:
Sup, chumps? (chuckles)
40
00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:27,735
I'm just kidding.
Just fooling around.
41
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,588
Good morning,
brother, brother, Father.
42
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,239
Ah, the fiancés are up.
43
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,740
I've been thinking
about your wedding,
44
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:35,076
and I have some... one idea.
45
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,837
We do it on the family boat!
46
00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:39,431
No. Mm-mm. I picked out our
wedding theme a few months ago
47
00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:41,249
on my drive,
when I moved here from Fresno.
48
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:44,252
I want to base the wedding
on my favorite romantic movie,
49
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,938
Brokeback Mountain.
50
00:01:46,131 --> 00:01:47,497
It'll be in a giant tent.
51
00:01:47,516 --> 00:01:49,166
Everyone's wearing jean jacket.
52
00:01:49,184 --> 00:01:51,351
There'll be a lot
of loose sheep everywhere.
53
00:01:51,503 --> 00:01:53,278
But no one will be quitting
anyone.
54
00:01:53,471 --> 00:01:54,354
And I'm inviting
Jake Gyllenhaal.
55
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:55,672
But if he can't make it,
56
00:01:55,691 --> 00:01:56,764
hopefully Maggie Gyllenhaal.
57
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,433
And if she can't make it,
58
00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,119
then hopefully her husband,
Peter Sarsgaard.
59
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,361
And if he can't make it,
60
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,196
then Alexander Skarsgard.
61
00:02:03,349 --> 00:02:04,456
It was a very long drive.
62
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,366
Well, speaking of celebrations,
63
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,294
as you all know, it's your
sister Judy's sweet 16 today,
64
00:02:09,487 --> 00:02:10,687
and I planned a celebration
65
00:02:10,747 --> 00:02:13,023
that's
every teenage girl's dream,
66
00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:16,026
a full day out on the fishing
boat with her brothers and dad.
67
00:02:16,044 --> 00:02:17,785
No frills, no thrills--
68
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:20,806
just hard work and the feeling
of a birthday job well done.
69
00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:23,142
Uh, should we at least look into
a clown who's afraid of water?
70
00:02:23,335 --> 00:02:24,977
That could be fun.
He'd be all nervous.
71
00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:26,794
Where is Judy anyways?
72
00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:29,039
She said she wanted to have
a luxurious birthday morning
73
00:02:29,099 --> 00:02:30,798
and sleep in till 5:45.
74
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:31,966
How decadent.
75
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,877
-(alarm beeping)
-(gasps)
76
00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:35,320
Good morning, Judy!
77
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,547
You are finally 16 today,
you beautiful beast.
78
00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:39,825
I went to sleep a child,
and I woke up a sophisticated
79
00:02:39,976 --> 00:02:41,551
and artistic woman.
80
00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:44,163
This is the year I trade in
my barrettes for berets.
81
00:02:44,314 --> 00:02:45,164
But not literally,
because I need
82
00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:46,814
to keep my hair off my face.
83
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,910
Ah, good morning, imaginary
best friend/inspiration
84
00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:51,486
Alanis Morissette.
85
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,747
And good morning
to my best friend/inspiration
86
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,507
-Judy Tobin.
-Aw. Really?
87
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:57,325
Or are you just saying that
because it's my birthday?
88
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,252
-Yes. Happy birthday!
-Oh.
89
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,847
Well, I have
a big birthday announcement.
90
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,407
(mimics fanfare)
91
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,667
-(mimics fanfare)
-I got the job!
92
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,335
Well, Judy,
I have one hand in my pocket,
93
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,855
and the other one
is very proud of you.
94
00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:13,358
You are looking at the newest
associ-ette photograph-ette
95
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,009
at the Point & Shoot
Photo Studio,
96
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:18,088
conveniently located
at the most inspiring place
97
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:19,198
in all of Alaska!
98
00:03:19,391 --> 00:03:20,848
-The mall.
-The mall.
99
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:24,611
Oh, the bouquet of perfume
samples at La Smell Hut.
100
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:28,373
The weird empty area between
the fountain and the directory.
101
00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:31,376
The cute, slightly older boy
who works at Smoothie Boss.
102
00:03:31,569 --> 00:03:33,453
The way his semi-tight pants
highlight his,
103
00:03:33,605 --> 00:03:35,363
um, downstairs situation.
104
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:36,957
Yeah, you get it.
You specifically get it.
105
00:03:37,109 --> 00:03:39,125
But, Judy,
did you tell your dad yet?
106
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,886
No. You know how he is
with change.
107
00:03:41,079 --> 00:03:42,704
I mean, when Mom ran off
to Pennsylvania
108
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:44,297
to be with her lover Marcus,
109
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,283
my dad told us all
that she got eaten by a bear
110
00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:47,559
in the Val-U-Buy parking lot.
111
00:03:47,752 --> 00:03:49,652
But she's alive,
and we all know that.
112
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,788
(groans) And ever since then,
he just wants the whole family
113
00:03:51,848 --> 00:03:53,381
to be together all the time.
114
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,125
It'll break his heart
if I can't be on the boat
115
00:03:55,143 --> 00:03:57,461
from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
116
00:03:57,521 --> 00:03:59,463
But... (scoffs)
Judy, get real.
117
00:03:59,523 --> 00:04:01,389
You-you don't want to spend
your life catching fish
118
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,133
after fish after fish
119
00:04:03,193 --> 00:04:04,892
after fish
after fish
120
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:06,136
after fish.
121
00:04:06,154 --> 00:04:07,654
-I know, but...
-After fish.
122
00:04:07,806 --> 00:04:09,564
Oh, sorry. I thought
you were done. Are you done?
123
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,749
Look, there comes a time
124
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:12,233
in every young
artistic woman's life
125
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,327
when she must
put aside her barrettes,
126
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,570
put on her berets...
127
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,922
I was just saying that earlier.
128
00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:18,740
...and grab life by the ass.
129
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:22,319
Yes. I just need to take one
butt cheek of life in each hand,
130
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:24,078
spread 'em apart, and dive...
131
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,672
Oh!
(screaming)
132
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,507
Calm down, Judy!
Oh, God!
133
00:04:27,659 --> 00:04:30,160
I got to calm down!
I have to calm down.
134
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For safety.
135
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,662
(announcer voice):
And now,
136
00:04:32,723 --> 00:04:35,089
entering the kitchen,
137
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,834
16-year-old Judy Tobin!
138
00:04:37,894 --> 00:04:39,519
(normal voice):
It's me. Hi.
139
00:04:39,671 --> 00:04:41,855
I made 16 pancakes
for the birthday girl.
140
00:04:41,991 --> 00:04:43,615
And I made a portrait
141
00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,284
of the whole family's
inner yearnings out of yarn,
142
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,527
and it's called Inner Yarnings.
143
00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:49,362
(chuckles): Oh. That's going
right up on the fridge.
144
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,848
Everybody stuff up
with carbs and meats,
145
00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:53,775
'cause it's gonna be
a real Nippy Nora
146
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,519
for the birthday boat party.
147
00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:56,962
Just how we Tobins like it.
148
00:04:57,155 --> 00:04:58,188
That's right, son.
149
00:04:58,248 --> 00:04:59,523
From the day we chew ourselves
150
00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,374
off our mother's umbilical cord
151
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,860
to the day
a wild animal eats us,
152
00:05:03,879 --> 00:05:05,286
we are fighters,
153
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,455
born to wrestle nature itself
into submission
154
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,533
year after glorious year.
155
00:05:09,593 --> 00:05:12,035
My God,
this man can give a toast.
156
00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:13,386
Now let's take a moment
of silence
157
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:16,297
for someone who can't celebrate
with us today,
158
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,542
your dear departed mother
Kathleen.
159
00:05:18,602 --> 00:05:21,061
Is that the same fur bikini
your dad has in the guest cabin
160
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:22,154
with all the candles around it?
161
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,229
(whispers):
It is.
162
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:24,823
-(clattering)
-Hark,
163
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,399
some sort of beast
has entered our abode.
164
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,119
Line up behind me
in order of bravery.
165
00:05:30,947 --> 00:05:32,072
(screams)
166
00:05:32,224 --> 00:05:33,557
-Moose!
-BEEF: Everyone stay back.
167
00:05:33,617 --> 00:05:35,392
Let me try
to get him out of here. Easy.
168
00:05:35,494 --> 00:05:37,410
Does that moose have "sexin"
balloons in his antlers?
169
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,171
-Easy.
-Is that a sex moose?
170
00:05:39,364 --> 00:05:40,988
That's not what-- The balloons
spelled out "sixteen."
171
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,490
And they weren't supposed
to be on a moose!
172
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,125
How did a moose
even get in here?
173
00:05:44,236 --> 00:05:45,493
Oh, moose can get in anywhere.
174
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,179
Last fall,
one got into the school gym
175
00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:49,163
during a basketball game.
176
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,757
He made the winning basket and
then nearly killed the coach.
177
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,926
Yeah, moose are
super dangerous, my love.
178
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:54,836
But they're so big and cute,
like Jason Momoa.
179
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:57,505
I find him more brutally
handsome than cute, but...
180
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,173
Guys, please!
I'm trying to focus.
181
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,693
Dad, hold the moose.
I'll ride it out of here.
182
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:03,420
Moon, for the hundredth time,
you can't ride a moose.
183
00:06:03,522 --> 00:06:05,655
-You can't ride a moose.
-(snorts)
184
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,110
-(bellowing)
-You ruined
Judy's birthday balloons,
185
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,778
-you friggin' jerk!
-Wolf, no!
186
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,205
Just let him go!
187
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,785
Oh, no! The moose got
Mom's pageant bikini!
188
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:21,287
And her gorgeous
hair extensions!
189
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,197
JUDY:
No! Sexi! Stop!
190
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,716
(sighs)
191
00:06:24,909 --> 00:06:27,368
Those were the last things
we had of your mom's.
192
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,112
No, Dad, we still have...
193
00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:30,555
uh, our memories.
194
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,982
Like the day
she left for Pennsyl...
195
00:06:33,051 --> 00:06:34,284
Uh, Pennsyl... heaven.
196
00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:35,710
Uh, penc... uh, pencil heaven.
197
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:36,895
To be with the angels.
198
00:06:37,088 --> 00:06:38,788
And the pencils.
199
00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:40,790
Uh, because she was a saint
who is definitely dead.
200
00:06:40,851 --> 00:06:42,383
Mm-hmm. End of discussion.
201
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,310
If only being a saint
was enough to stop her
202
00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:46,053
from being eaten to death
by a bear
203
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,890
on her way to buy medicine
for the children's hospital.
204
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,058
The children's hospital
accepts donated medicine?
205
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:54,246
Well, as much as I'd like
to track that moose down--
206
00:06:54,397 --> 00:06:55,972
for the sport of it,
207
00:06:55,991 --> 00:06:57,323
not because I'm obsessed
with your mother's things
208
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:58,900
that still smell
a little bit like her
209
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,252
and that I sometimes like
to smell--
210
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,254
we can't let this ruin
Judy's big day.
211
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:03,588
Let's load up for the boat.
212
00:07:03,781 --> 00:07:06,258
(whistling, crying)
213
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:07,909
(whispering):
Psst, everyone,
214
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,836
family meeting right now.
215
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,004
Why are we whispering?
216
00:07:11,156 --> 00:07:12,246
Because I don't want Dad
to hear.
217
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,323
And it's fun.
218
00:07:13,383 --> 00:07:14,749
Yes. Moon gets it.
219
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,435
So, has the meeting
started yet, or...?
220
00:07:16,628 --> 00:07:19,086
No, I think this is just
sort of pre-meeting chitchat.
221
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,087
It is. Good eye.
222
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,514
Meeting starts... now.
223
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,591
(normal volume):
So, uh, Dad seems pretty upset
224
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,351
about that moose
taking Mom's stuff.
225
00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,447
Therefore, Judy, you cannot tell
him about your new job today.
226
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,782
I mean, we could be headed
for a full-scale Beef-Melt.
227
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:33,343
What's a Beef-Melt?
That sounds delicious.
228
00:07:33,403 --> 00:07:35,528
It's not. It's when
our dad has a freak-out.
229
00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:37,030
He closes himself in his room,
230
00:07:37,182 --> 00:07:38,823
he only eats icicles
231
00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:41,293
and watches every season
of Gilmore Girls on a loop.
232
00:07:41,486 --> 00:07:44,204
Yeah, we avoid Beef-Melts
at all costs.
233
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,964
He had his first one
when our mom left.
234
00:07:46,157 --> 00:07:47,691
Even though she was
a really bad mom, okay?
235
00:07:47,709 --> 00:07:49,359
And it was actually better
when she left.
236
00:07:49,419 --> 00:07:52,453
Yeah. She named our dog Grandma
so she wouldn't be lying
237
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,789
when she said we were
with Grandma when people asked.
238
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,291
Oh. Remember when Grandma
got into the trash
239
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,886
and ate all those squeezable
yogurt wrappers?
240
00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:01,204
She was the best.
241
00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:02,314
So your dad pretends
your mom's dead,
242
00:08:02,507 --> 00:08:04,149
and you pretend to believe him?
243
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,484
And we never talk about it,
244
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,319
-and we never will.
-Perfect system.
245
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:10,137
So, should I just never tell Dad
about my job?
246
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,881
I guess I could say
I have diarrhea
247
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,718
every Tuesday and Thursday
from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.
248
00:08:14,778 --> 00:08:16,553
for the rest of my life.
249
00:08:16,571 --> 00:08:18,905
Good plan.
Uh, great plan, 'kay?
250
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,573
Okay, let's move out.
251
00:08:20,726 --> 00:08:23,150
Judy, I'm really sorry
about your diarrhea.
252
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,003
-I just found out.
-Oh, it's--
253
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,579
Thank you. Thanks, Ham.
254
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,173
So, I guess if Judy
isn't gonna tell your dad
255
00:08:28,324 --> 00:08:29,582
about her mall job yet,
256
00:08:29,735 --> 00:08:31,084
you don't want to tell him
we want to move
257
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,418
into the guesthouse either, huh?
258
00:08:32,571 --> 00:08:34,904
This is no time
for me to be moving away
259
00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:36,256
from my family, Honeybee.
260
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,924
If I moved here
all the way from Fresno,
261
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,017
you can move into your backyard.
262
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,501
Okay. Fair point.
263
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,595
I'll talk to him
as soon as he's stable.
264
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,505
-(crying)
-Never gonna talk to him,
are you?
265
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,024
(chuckles nervously)
I totally am.
266
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,417
Uh, uh, well, no. Yes.
267
00:08:47,519 --> 00:08:49,010
BEEF:
Okay, birthday girl.
268
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,253
Which one of our cassettes
do you want,
269
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,197
Madonna's Bedtime Stories
270
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:54,366
or songs from the TV show
She's the Sheriff?
271
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,517
I'll take those sweet
sheriff serenades, sir.
272
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,036
Hey, uh, Dad,
273
00:08:58,187 --> 00:08:59,929
didn't you just miss
the turnoff for the marina?
274
00:08:59,948 --> 00:09:03,099
First, we got to make a quick
birthday detour to the mall.
275
00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:04,284
-The mall?!
-Yep!
276
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,286
It's a big birthday surprise!
277
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,271
Hey, isn't the mall
where Judy got that job
278
00:09:08,331 --> 00:09:09,714
we can't let Dad find out about?
279
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,532
-Or no?
-(whispers): Yes.
280
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,035
Now would be a great time
for you to get diarrhea, Judy.
281
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,887
-(whispers): For real.
-I'll do what I can.
282
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,447
(grunts, squeaks, exhales)
283
00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:19,599
Just coming up farts over here.
284
00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:24,120
BEEF:
Come on, everyone, keep up.
I want you to see the look
285
00:09:24,222 --> 00:09:26,047
on Judy's face
when she gets her gift.
286
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:27,882
Elevator in progress?
287
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,551
Well, we're all in progress
till we die, elevator.
288
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,478
What would Dad get me
at the mall anyway?
289
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,406
I mean, the only thing he likes
here are those cinnamon buns
290
00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:35,815
that he gets at the food court
and then he unravels
291
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:37,224
and pretends
like it's a little snake.
292
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:38,818
That's not-- I don't want that.
293
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,227
Well, he told me
how proud he was
294
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,729
when Judy caught
that giant salmon
295
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,230
and that he wanted
to commemorate it
296
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,583
with a framed photograph
from that--
297
00:09:44,776 --> 00:09:47,085
what is it--
uh, Point & Shoot, I think?
298
00:09:47,236 --> 00:09:48,587
ALL:
What?
299
00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:52,073
You mean the location
of Judy's secret job?
300
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:54,259
♪ ♪
301
00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:55,819
Son of a beaver.
I'll slow him down.
302
00:09:55,879 --> 00:09:57,429
And I'll run ahead
and I'll try to, uh,
303
00:09:57,622 --> 00:10:00,340
go back in time and,
uh, kill... this mall!
304
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,675
Hey, Dad!
Did you see this indoor plant?!
305
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,269
That is an abomination.
306
00:10:04,462 --> 00:10:06,521
We are gonna get you out
of here, buddy.
307
00:10:08,466 --> 00:10:10,516
♪ Crispin. ♪
308
00:10:10,852 --> 00:10:12,277
Whoa, hey, Crispin...
309
00:10:12,470 --> 00:10:14,187
-Oh. Hey, Rudy.
-Oh. It's, uh...
310
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:16,263
It's stupid,
but it's actually Judy.
311
00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,432
Judy is my name.
(chuckles): Yeah. Anyway,
312
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:21,119
it must be really fun making...
smoothies.
313
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,621
-It's terrible.
-WOLF: Judy,
314
00:10:22,772 --> 00:10:24,514
get your rear in gear!
Trouble's a-near!
315
00:10:24,574 --> 00:10:26,516
Stay smooth!
I mean, stay cool.
316
00:10:26,618 --> 00:10:28,868
(chuckles)
Sincerely, comma,
317
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,688
-Judy.
-All right, my birthday bundle.
318
00:10:31,706 --> 00:10:33,189
Are you ready
for your big surprise?
319
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:35,024
(quietly):
Oh, God.
320
00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:38,211
-♪ Alyson ♪
-♪ Ooh, that's right ♪
321
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,454
-♪ Yeah. ♪
-Hot dog.
322
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,549
-Hello, Miss Lefebvrere.
-Oh, hello again, Beef.
323
00:10:43,702 --> 00:10:45,885
I hope you don't mind, I took
the liberty of throwing in
324
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,222
a bow for an extra $3.68.
325
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,182
(chuckles):
Oh, I'm sorry.
326
00:10:51,376 --> 00:10:53,818
-Make that... 69.
-(Beef coughs)
327
00:10:54,011 --> 00:10:55,211
Did you say "69"?
328
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:58,305
I clearly said... 69.
329
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,357
Oh, wait, it's 70.
330
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,217
Good Lord, that's a huge relief.
331
00:11:01,277 --> 00:11:02,810
Oh, wait. No.
332
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,812
It was... 69.
333
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,498
(groans)
Damn it.
334
00:11:06,691 --> 00:11:09,058
Wow, something is not right
about the price of that bow.
335
00:11:09,119 --> 00:11:10,818
How much is it? Tell me again.
336
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,837
Was it 68? Or 70?
337
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,564
They keep going back
between the numbers.
338
00:11:14,624 --> 00:11:16,841
It was 69 on the dot,
and you know it.
339
00:11:16,993 --> 00:11:19,493
-God help me.
-Okay, here we go. This is done.
340
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,013
Just moving our legs
towards the exit.
341
00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:23,589
And we're walking.
342
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,499
-Walking. Walking.
-Well, great to see you all.
343
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,835
-And Judy?
-(all gasp)
-Yeah?
344
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,003
Happy birthday.
345
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,355
-Oh, thanks.
-(all exhale)
346
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,415
-Oh, and Judy?
-(all gasp)
-Yeah?
347
00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:34,584
-Oh! I forgot
what I was gonna say.
-(all exhale)
348
00:11:34,686 --> 00:11:36,753
Oh, now I remember. I'll see you
back here on Tuesday
349
00:11:36,771 --> 00:11:39,255
for your shift
from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.
350
00:11:39,357 --> 00:11:40,365
-Damn it!
-Shift?
351
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:42,108
What's she talking about, Judy?
352
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,684
Say she's talking
about your shift in perspective
353
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,020
and newfound positive outlook
on life.
354
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,205
Say it, Judy. Say it.
355
00:11:47,398 --> 00:11:49,708
Dad, it's time for me to...
356
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:52,285
grab life's butt cheeks
by the hands and...
357
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:55,529
and, uh, take
kind of a deep dive into, uh...
358
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,607
What do you mean, Judy?
Is this another one
359
00:11:57,625 --> 00:12:00,126
of your performance pieces?
One of your Improv Everywheres?
360
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,053
I have a job
at the mall now, Dad.
361
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,963
You what? You where?
362
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,799
Judy's our newest associ-ette
photograph-ette here.
363
00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:08,468
She's got an amazing eye
364
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,453
for photos and a head
for light cash register work.
365
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:13,806
Well, congratulations, Judy.
366
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,066
(grunts)
367
00:12:17,094 --> 00:12:19,796
-Kathleen. Bikini.
-JUDY: I have a job
at the mall now, Dad.
368
00:12:19,814 --> 00:12:21,388
BEEF:
Smoothie. (grunts)
369
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,074
WOLF: The moose got
Mom's pageant bikini!
370
00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:26,227
HAM:
And her gorgeous
hair extensions.
371
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,653
Dad, no! It's still in progress!
372
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,230
(elevator bell chimes)
373
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,416
Uh, Rudy? Your dad's stuck
in the elevator.
374
00:12:35,705 --> 00:12:38,256
Well, it's a beautiful day to go
out on the boat. (chuckles)
375
00:12:38,407 --> 00:12:40,333
-BEEF: Mm-hmm.
-Man, it doesn't, uh, matter
376
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,909
how much water
you put that thing in.
377
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,911
-It just floats, right?
-Say, if that picture's
378
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:47,156
taking up too much room, we can
just throw it into the ocean
379
00:12:47,258 --> 00:12:48,508
like we do so many other things
380
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,510
that are valuable to us
as a family.
381
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,919
It's fine.
382
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,587
Oh, hey, did you hear
383
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,515
about the new generator model
coming out next week?
384
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,518
Should be... Should
generate a lot. (chuckles)
385
00:12:58,670 --> 00:13:00,186
Don't you have thoughts
about that, Dad?
386
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,521
BEEF:
Not this minute, I don't.
387
00:13:01,673 --> 00:13:03,856
(gasps)
Dad's gone mute on generators?
388
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,191
Oh, this is bad.
389
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,010
I know, let's list crustaceans.
390
00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:08,620
-Honeybee, you go first.
-I don't know.
391
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,955
Crab? Crab dip? Squidward?
392
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,290
-Hiya, Beef!
-BEEF: Mm-hmm.
393
00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:13,625
-Oh, hiya, Tobins.
-Hello.
394
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,293
-Hello.
-Hi, Londra.
-Nice fish.
395
00:13:15,486 --> 00:13:17,687
No pressure,
but you still haven't RSVP'd
396
00:13:17,789 --> 00:13:19,631
for my Tupperware party.
397
00:13:19,782 --> 00:13:22,116
If I don't sell enough, I'll owe
thousands to my mentor Sheryl.
398
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,359
Not now, Londra!
399
00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:25,194
HAM:
All right, Dad.
400
00:13:25,255 --> 00:13:27,138
Ready to get a handle
on these candles?
401
00:13:27,331 --> 00:13:29,390
By lighting them?
402
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,868
Hmm.
403
00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:33,036
(grunts)
404
00:13:33,096 --> 00:13:34,720
You got this, Dad. You got this!
405
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:36,630
Should we just do
virtual candles? I have an app.
406
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,374
You can get 'em
to look like the Minions.
407
00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:39,892
Dad's got it under control.
408
00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:41,969
Yeah. We're gonna light
the candles with a match
409
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,470
just like we always do.
410
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,490
Aren't we, Dad? Aren't we?
411
00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:48,718
(grunts) You know,
I was counting on these matches
412
00:13:48,778 --> 00:13:51,312
to do the one thing
they said they were gonna do,
413
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,831
and now they're just...
414
00:13:52,982 --> 00:13:54,407
they're just getting a job
at the Point & Shoot.
415
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,334
-That's it. I'm quitting.
-What?
416
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,394
I'm quitting the job
that I haven't even started yet
417
00:13:58,454 --> 00:14:00,229
so that everything
can just go back to normal.
418
00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:01,822
-What?
-No!
-No, Judy.
419
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,233
You can't give up on something
so important to you.
420
00:14:04,252 --> 00:14:05,826
Just like moving
into Mom's old guest cabin
421
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,346
-is important
to me and Honeybee.
-What?!
422
00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:09,922
Well, you got
to know sometime, Dad.
423
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,850
Also, I am gay.
424
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:15,520
Ham, we know. You've come out
to us a bunch of times.
425
00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:17,080
-I have?
-Yes!
426
00:14:17,098 --> 00:14:18,523
And we love you
just the way you are, damn it!
427
00:14:18,716 --> 00:14:21,192
Well, thank you
for being an ally!
428
00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:22,585
Why are we yelling?
429
00:14:22,645 --> 00:14:24,678
Because I'm upset
about other stuff!
430
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,606
Namely that Judy's
got another job
431
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,591
and Wolf wants to move
across town.
432
00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:30,517
-It's the backyard, Dad.
-And all your mom's stuff
433
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,778
got stolen by a moose
and these matches won't light.
434
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:34,706
Moon, you got any secrets
to share?
435
00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:38,042
-Well, I know
Mom's not really dea...
-No? Okay, great.
436
00:14:38,235 --> 00:14:40,119
I need to, to use the restroom.
437
00:14:40,271 --> 00:14:41,713
The toilet's still there, right?
438
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:43,456
Or did that change on me, too?
Is it a fridge now?
439
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,866
-Well, then,
I'll poop in the fridge.
-Dad, no.
440
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,126
It'll be so cold.
441
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,945
-No. Let him.
-Ooh!
442
00:14:48,963 --> 00:14:51,280
For 99 cents,
we can get little cat candles
443
00:14:51,341 --> 00:14:52,891
that say "happy purr-thday."
444
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:55,042
That'll cheer your dad up
when he gets back.
445
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,395
He's not coming back.
446
00:14:58,456 --> 00:14:59,789
I guess we're orphans now.
447
00:14:59,849 --> 00:15:01,548
Maybe we can stop
by the animal shelter
448
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,902
on the way home
and get a new Grandma.
449
00:15:04,095 --> 00:15:05,461
LONDRA:
Huh.
450
00:15:05,521 --> 00:15:07,313
That was a quick birthday party.
451
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,799
Yeah. Dad got mad and ran away.
Did you see him?
452
00:15:09,817 --> 00:15:11,484
Yeah, I saw him pull up
in the rowboat.
453
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,986
He was muttering,
but I didn't think much of it.
454
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,562
Everyone around here mutters.
455
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,323
(all muttering)
456
00:15:17,475 --> 00:15:18,899
All right.
Well, we got to go find him.
457
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,160
Okay. By the way,
there will be lemon squares
458
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,479
-at the Tupperware party.
-Not now, Londra.
459
00:15:23,539 --> 00:15:24,664
You got it.
460
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,591
Okay, so it looks like Dad
461
00:15:26,784 --> 00:15:28,426
went after that moose
that snatched Mom's bikini.
462
00:15:28,619 --> 00:15:30,670
We've got snow machine tracks,
463
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,338
footprints, snowshoe prints,
464
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,991
and what looks like
waffle maker prints.
465
00:15:35,093 --> 00:15:38,585
Oh, that clever son of a bitch
does not want to be found.
466
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,346
All right, let's all split up
and look for him.
467
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,106
Here's a flare gun
for each of you.
468
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:43,424
Send one up if you find him.
469
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,610
Okay, Ham's works. Great test.
470
00:15:45,803 --> 00:15:47,670
Uh, try to save your flares
for when you need them, bud.
471
00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:50,615
(chuckles): I'll try,
but they're so beautiful.
472
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:52,191
Good luck out there,
dear siblings.
473
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,118
Let's go trap a dad.
474
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,830
Sorry. Look how she shines.
475
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,166
♪ ♪
476
00:16:05,123 --> 00:16:06,522
Headed right for the river.
477
00:16:06,541 --> 00:16:10,134
You may be "sexi,"
but you're not smart.
478
00:16:10,327 --> 00:16:13,012
-(wind whistling)
-Kathleen.
479
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,456
(screams)
480
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,475
Aah! Oh, my God! Broken foot.
481
00:16:17,668 --> 00:16:20,127
That's okay.
I can push through this.
482
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,055
(screams)
Nope. No, that is Alaska broken.
483
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,465
(grunts)
Well,
484
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:27,318
time to sit down
and await my death.
485
00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:29,487
(sighs) Damn it, Kathleen.
I've got to know.
486
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,714
Are you ever coming back to me?
487
00:16:31,774 --> 00:16:33,658
Just-just give me a sign.
488
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:35,326
Okay.
489
00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:37,720
That was definitely a sign.
But was it a yes or no?
490
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:40,981
Let's do this. If I should
keep hoping you'll come back,
491
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,816
then send up another flare.
492
00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:47,046
Uh, I'll-I'll just wait
a little bit longer.
493
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,915
Okay. There's my dad's
494
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:53,327
signature super long stride,
and he was probably following
495
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,829
these moose...
(gasps) Oh, my God! Dad!
496
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,423
-Judy?
-Are you hurt?
497
00:16:57,575 --> 00:17:00,667
Yep, I'm hurt, and I'm stuck.
So just get out of here
498
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:04,247
and go and live a full
and productive life without me.
499
00:17:04,265 --> 00:17:05,931
What? No, Dad. I'm just going
500
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,341
to shoot off this flare
to get help.
501
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,693
Then I'm going to go live
502
00:17:08,844 --> 00:17:10,419
a full
and productive life with you.
503
00:17:10,521 --> 00:17:12,588
(screams)
Sorry. Lost focus.
504
00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:14,991
Man, this family
is not good at flares.
505
00:17:18,821 --> 00:17:20,946
Just leave me here, Judy.
I have a broken foot
506
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,707
and a broken heart,
and my one job
507
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:26,044
was to keep my family together,
and I couldn't even do it.
508
00:17:26,237 --> 00:17:27,712
I lost your mom, and then I lost
509
00:17:27,905 --> 00:17:29,789
her hair extensions
and her fur bikini.
510
00:17:29,941 --> 00:17:33,551
So, go and tell everyone
I died doing what I loved:
511
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:34,944
being your dad.
512
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,796
No, the others
will be here any minute.
513
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,556
I'm not leaving you.
514
00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:41,208
Oh, please. You'll all leave me
sooner or later.
515
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:43,043
Dad.
(screams)
516
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,804
-(grunts)
-Damn it, Judy.
What have I told you
517
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:48,140
about getting into a steeply
embanked ice chasm voluntarily?
518
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,308
-Not to do it.
-Right.
519
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,235
Dad, we know Mom's not dead.
520
00:17:51,387 --> 00:17:52,962
But you didn't lose her.
521
00:17:53,022 --> 00:17:55,907
She left, and it's not
because of something you did
522
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:56,982
or something we did.
523
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,135
She just... wanted to leave.
524
00:17:59,153 --> 00:18:01,487
I don't... I don't know
what you're talking about.
525
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,083
She's in Pennsyl...
Pennsylvania.
526
00:18:05,276 --> 00:18:06,659
There is no Pencil Heaven.
527
00:18:06,811 --> 00:18:08,644
But if there was,
do you think they would be
528
00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:10,737
in their little stub version
or their full form?
529
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,148
Full form. No question.
530
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:13,482
-(crying)
-Dad, listen.
531
00:18:13,543 --> 00:18:15,167
We don't want to run away.
532
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,743
We love being on the boat.
533
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,930
We just love other places, too,
and other things,
534
00:18:19,081 --> 00:18:21,432
and that's normal.
You don't have to let us go.
535
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:24,585
-I just have to let you pursue
outside interests.
-Grow.
536
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:27,179
Oh, I-I went
for the rhyme there.
537
00:18:27,332 --> 00:18:28,347
-But... (chuckles) Yeah.
-WOLF: Dad!
538
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,257
-Judy!
-Dad's foot is broken!
539
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,017
Regular broken or Alaska broken?
540
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,336
Alaska broken.
541
00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:34,946
-We got to boost him up.
-Copy that.
542
00:18:35,139 --> 00:18:37,857
Ham, you stay up here and pull.
Honeybee, you're with me.
543
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:38,932
You bet I am, babe.
544
00:18:39,068 --> 00:18:40,100
Okay, everybody.
545
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,786
Let's hoist this beefy boy.
546
00:18:41,979 --> 00:18:43,770
-(all grunting)
-BEEF: Steady.
547
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,939
-(grunts)
-WOLF: Moose!
-(all scream)
548
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,941
My beautiful pants!
549
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,611
Okay, don't worry, everybody.
A moose isn't gonna charge
550
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,946
into a steeply embanked
ice chasm voluntarily.
551
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,357
-Oh, my God!
-(bellows)
552
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:56,025
(grunts)
Remember your training, Moon.
553
00:18:56,043 --> 00:19:00,196
Oh, I hope I'm not making
a huge "moose-stake."
554
00:19:00,214 --> 00:19:01,380
What is it with this guy?
(grunts)
555
00:19:01,532 --> 00:19:03,457
He's like my-my Moby Dick or...
Ow!
556
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,534
I'm-I'm his Moby Dick?
I'm realizing
557
00:19:05,595 --> 00:19:09,147
-I never actually read it.
-(shouts)
558
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:12,892
I got Mom's bikini!
559
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,968
(chuckles):
Moon! You saved us!
560
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,380
I told you I could ride a moose.
561
00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:18,656
BEEF:
Children,
562
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,384
I, uh, I'm sorry
I spent so many years
563
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:23,644
pretending your mother
was eaten by a bear.
564
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:27,556
I guess in retrospect,
I was going through something.
565
00:19:27,658 --> 00:19:30,226
-It's okay, Dad.
-Hey, it was fun
while it lasted.
566
00:19:30,244 --> 00:19:31,744
This was your mom's
goodbye letter.
567
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,397
I never read it because
I didn't want it to be real,
568
00:19:34,457 --> 00:19:36,174
but I'm gonna read it now.
569
00:19:36,367 --> 00:19:38,509
Oh. It just says,
"Smell you later."
570
00:19:38,702 --> 00:19:41,012
And there's a drawing
of either a middle finger
571
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:42,496
or a penis under it.
572
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,573
I think it's a hand
with penis fingers.
573
00:19:44,592 --> 00:19:45,683
Hey, you're right.
574
00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:48,352
And, so,
we are gathered here today
575
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,430
to consecrate this goodbye note
and fur bikini.
576
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,417
-And may Kathleen
and her lover...
-Marcus.
577
00:19:54,477 --> 00:19:56,585
Sorry. I only know his name
because they keep a blog.
578
00:19:56,646 --> 00:19:59,088
It's about stores that won't
chase you if you shoplift.
579
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:00,423
It's called Pittsburgh Stealers.
580
00:20:00,483 --> 00:20:04,610
Well, may she and Marcus
be happy... ish.
581
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,111
I guess. Or whatever.
582
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,688
-Please come back, Kathy.
-Dad.
583
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,098
-Kidding.
-Were you?
584
00:20:09,158 --> 00:20:11,434
No. But I'll get there. Maybe.
585
00:20:11,494 --> 00:20:14,603
So, if you're okay
with Mom being in Pennsylvania,
586
00:20:14,622 --> 00:20:16,363
does that mean you're okay
with me and Honeybee
587
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,123
moving into the guest cabin?
588
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,051
You have my blessing.
589
00:20:20,244 --> 00:20:23,370
I just hope a mysterious ghost
doesn't show up
590
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,448
and scare you
back into the house.
591
00:20:25,549 --> 00:20:27,391
Dad, please don't dress up
like a ghost
592
00:20:27,584 --> 00:20:29,285
to try to scare us
back into the house.
593
00:20:29,345 --> 00:20:30,877
(chuckles):
I'll try my best.
594
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,305
Now, should we all go in
and finally celebrate
595
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,066
our special girl's birthday?
596
00:20:35,259 --> 00:20:36,642
-Dad?
-Yeah, Jude?
597
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,478
Um, what about me
and-and the mall?
598
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,572
Of course I want you to work
at the mall, Judy.
599
00:20:41,765 --> 00:20:44,300
I know you've got
your mother's creative side.
600
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,059
She loved Color Me Mine.
601
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,894
She robbed one once.
602
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,321
Thanks, Dad. I love you.
603
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,156
I love you, too, Judy.
604
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,751
Now, let's go eat some cake.
605
00:20:53,944 --> 00:20:55,569
(sighs)
606
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,997
Now, that's what I call
diving into life's butthole.
607
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,241
♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
608
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:02,409
♪ Catch some fish ♪
609
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,411
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
610
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,429
♪ Wow ♪
611
00:21:05,622 --> 00:21:08,340
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
612
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,250
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
613
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,011
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
614
00:21:12,163 --> 00:21:13,345
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
615
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,164
♪ In the Great North ♪
616
00:21:15,182 --> 00:21:17,349
HAM: Ooh, I like the part
where we say "Hup."
617
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,352
♪ The Great North ♪
618
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,280
♪ Oh, yeah, hut, whoo ♪
619
00:21:22,473 --> 00:21:23,948
♪ Hup, oh ♪
620
00:21:24,099 --> 00:21:25,432
-♪ Hey ♪
-♪ Whoo ♪
621
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:26,450
♪ Oh ♪
622
00:21:26,643 --> 00:21:28,619
♪ The Great North. ♪
623
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:30,529
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
624
00:21:30,681 --> 00:21:32,439
and TOYOTA.
625
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,041
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org