1 00:00:01,818 --> 00:00:03,952 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,029 --> 00:00:05,487 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:05,564 --> 00:00:06,621 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:06,698 --> 00:00:09,583 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:13,128 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,205 --> 00:00:14,346 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:14,423 --> 00:00:15,922 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,132 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,209 --> 00:00:20,552 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:21,928 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:23,522 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:25,190 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:28,986 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:35,192 Pancake Patrol initiated. 15 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,036 Sergeant Syrup reporting for duty. 16 00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,612 -At ease. -Copy that. 17 00:00:38,688 --> 00:00:39,863 Are we clear for strawberries? 18 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,707 10-4, Rear Admiral of the Lower Half 19 00:00:41,784 --> 00:00:43,784 of the Whipped Cream. Ready, aim... 20 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,878 BOTH: Fire! Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire. 21 00:00:45,954 --> 00:00:47,788 It just blows my mind every day. 22 00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:49,206 The precision, the formation. 23 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,999 It's like a breakfast-themed Jabbawockeez. 24 00:00:51,076 --> 00:00:53,168 -They don't rehearse this? -No, just comes naturally. 25 00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:54,628 That's Alaskan twins for you. 26 00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:57,380 Born nine months apart, twins of the heart. 27 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,466 It's like Mom always used to say: 28 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:00,383 I'm pregnant again. 29 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,885 Well, the van's started, 30 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,554 but it's making a sound that can only be described 31 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:05,731 as "a screaming." 32 00:01:05,808 --> 00:01:07,390 Let's just hope the engine lasts 33 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,893 through the Feast of Not People Festival this weekend. 34 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,520 Now, what is the Feast of Not People again? 35 00:01:11,596 --> 00:01:14,564 -We eat people? -No, we don't eat people. 36 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,234 That's the whole point. The Feast of Not People Festival 37 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:20,070 is an annual celebration of Lone Moose's origins, 38 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,863 when the first settlers got off course 39 00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:23,532 on their way to Florida and ended up here... 40 00:01:23,608 --> 00:01:26,076 Well, okay, not the first first settlers. 41 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,586 Those were actually the Alaskan natives, 42 00:01:27,663 --> 00:01:29,496 -to whom this land rightfully belongs. -Right. 43 00:01:29,573 --> 00:01:32,249 So these European settlers, who were total ding-dongs, 44 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,043 came in the dead of winter, with zero snow-how. 45 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,420 WOLF: Lotta loose bonnets, if you know what I'm saying. 46 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,548 BEEF: These underprepared vacationers turned 47 00:01:39,624 --> 00:01:41,216 to eating each other to survive 48 00:01:41,293 --> 00:01:43,051 MOON: And they ate a lot of each other. 49 00:01:43,128 --> 00:01:44,553 We're talking four trips to the buffet 50 00:01:44,629 --> 00:01:46,555 with a new plate each time. 51 00:01:46,631 --> 00:01:48,273 BEEF: Eventually, though, they realized 52 00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:50,559 they were surrounded by scores of edible fish and wildlife. 53 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,769 So there's a festival celebrating that the town 54 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,446 used to eat people? 55 00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:56,949 No, again, we celebrate not eating people, 56 00:01:57,025 --> 00:01:58,951 and we do it by not eating people. 57 00:01:59,027 --> 00:02:00,902 Oh, and the best part is the Feast Cake. 58 00:02:00,979 --> 00:02:03,613 It's a huge cake in the shape of anything that's not people, 59 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,073 cooked by our local Cake Lady. 60 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:07,200 She makes a cake big enough for the whole town? 61 00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:09,786 Yep. The Cake Lady somehow always outdoes herself, 62 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,121 year after year. 63 00:02:11,156 --> 00:02:12,622 What a hot box of pressure. 64 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,584 (chuckles nervously) Yes. That Cake Lady sure must be 65 00:02:15,660 --> 00:02:16,877 sweatin' batter, mustn't she? 66 00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:19,138 But that's enough festival talk, isn't it? 67 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,047 Not really. I don't think I totally understand 68 00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:22,716 what an Alaskan Cake Lady is. 69 00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,426 Oh, allow me to explain. 70 00:02:24,502 --> 00:02:27,512 Every Alaskan small town has its own confectionary visionary 71 00:02:27,589 --> 00:02:28,930 known as a Cake Lady. 72 00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:31,483 But ours recently retired. To jail. 73 00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:33,560 Turns out the only thing she liked to cook more than cakes 74 00:02:33,637 --> 00:02:35,729 was, uh, the books for our very small 75 00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:37,489 but very violent local mafia. 76 00:02:37,566 --> 00:02:40,108 She made her cake, and now she has to lie in it. 77 00:02:40,185 --> 00:02:41,735 And after she went to the big house, 78 00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:44,997 an unknown mystery baker has been fulfilling her orders 79 00:02:45,073 --> 00:02:47,166 and delivering them in the dark of night. 80 00:02:47,242 --> 00:02:49,492 She makes you purchase through electronic mail. 81 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,329 I liked the old system, where you tacked your order to a tree. 82 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,789 Well, you can bring it up with whoever it is on Sunday. 83 00:02:54,866 --> 00:02:57,000 It's town tradition for the Cake Lady 84 00:02:57,011 --> 00:03:00,295 to personally unveil her masterpiece at the festival. 85 00:03:00,372 --> 00:03:02,514 To win us over, this year's Cake Lady 86 00:03:02,591 --> 00:03:05,842 is really gonna have to cake it... (chuckles) 87 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,094 -to the limit. -(laughs) 88 00:03:08,171 --> 00:03:10,639 What a funny wordplay, Judy. 89 00:03:10,715 --> 00:03:12,357 (forced laughter) 90 00:03:14,436 --> 00:03:16,862 -Whoa. -(forced laughter continues) 91 00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,105 What's up with Ham? 92 00:03:19,182 --> 00:03:20,815 He usually loves talking baked goods. 93 00:03:20,892 --> 00:03:23,610 He was probably just laughing to cover a fart. 94 00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:26,154 Oop. (laughs loudly) 95 00:03:26,231 --> 00:03:29,157 Okay, Ham, so you have that math quiz second period, 96 00:03:29,234 --> 00:03:31,368 so take my lucky pencil with the good eraser. 97 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,286 -Ham, are you listening? -Yeah. 98 00:03:33,363 --> 00:03:35,163 Um, uh, sorry I forgot to tell you 99 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,456 but, um, uh, I actually-- 100 00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:37,707 Uh, I won't see you at lunch today. 101 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,125 (chuckles) Yeah. Good one. 102 00:03:39,202 --> 00:03:41,720 Uh, same. And I also won't see you at lunch 103 00:03:41,797 --> 00:03:45,131 because I'll be having lunch with, um, someone from history, 104 00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:46,007 alive or dead. 105 00:03:46,084 --> 00:03:47,634 No, I'm being serious. 106 00:03:47,711 --> 00:03:49,636 Okay. Well, just tell me what you're doing at lunch 107 00:03:49,713 --> 00:03:51,513 -and I'll do that, too. -Sorry, Judy. 108 00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:53,515 This is something I have to do alone. 109 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:55,892 -A private lunch. -Um, okay. 110 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,186 I said good day. 111 00:03:58,263 --> 00:04:00,063 HONEYBEE: Festival competitions. 112 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,399 "Guess How Many Teeth in a Jar," "Big Pit," 113 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,234 "Animal Bite Parade," "Cadaver Dash." 114 00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:05,819 Is that the one you guys were talking about, 115 00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:06,987 where there's something far away 116 00:04:07,063 --> 00:04:07,988 and you have to guess what it is? 117 00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:09,698 (laughs) No, no. That is 118 00:04:09,774 --> 00:04:11,199 "Identify That Thing in the Distance." 119 00:04:11,276 --> 00:04:13,252 "Cadaver Dash" is where teams compete 120 00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,203 to find and collect the most cadavers. 121 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,330 Ooh, fun. So it's like an Easter egg hunt 122 00:04:17,407 --> 00:04:19,082 if the eggs weighed a couple hundred pounds. 123 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:21,084 Exactly. Dad and Uncle Brian 124 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,262 are longtime reigning Daver Dash champions. 125 00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:26,298 So, Dad, I-I guess since Uncle Brian moved to Anchorage, 126 00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:28,100 it's gonna be you and me as partners this year? 127 00:04:28,176 --> 00:04:30,427 Actually, I was thinking I've already won it 128 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,771 so many times with Brian, maybe I'll just throw my hat 129 00:04:32,848 --> 00:04:35,098 in the teeth jar this year. 130 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,767 Or, you know, I-I know I'm no Uncle Brian, 131 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:41,280 but you could try throwing your hat in the me jar? 132 00:04:41,356 --> 00:04:44,065 All right, I guess I could dash one more year. 133 00:04:44,142 --> 00:04:45,617 Yeah! Team Tobin. 134 00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,953 When I say "father," you say "son." Father! 135 00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:49,779 -Father. -We got this. 136 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,073 Oh, and Moon will no doubt want to be a cadaver again this year. 137 00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:54,075 He's one of the best dead people in town. 138 00:04:54,152 --> 00:04:55,294 Oh, that sounds interesting. 139 00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:56,795 Maybe I'll sign up to be a cadaver, too. 140 00:04:56,872 --> 00:04:58,872 Great! Well, I better start practicing for the dash. 141 00:04:58,948 --> 00:05:02,301 -Care for a ride? -Sure. Legs, sit this one out. 142 00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:04,127 Hey, Dad, you carry someone, too! 143 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,463 Santiago, may I carry you? 144 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,975 Me? Wow. It would be my pleasure. 145 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:11,926 I've never played a dead body before, 146 00:05:12,003 --> 00:05:13,428 but I made an amazing Rizzo 147 00:05:13,505 --> 00:05:15,138 at Almond Grove High's production of Grease. 148 00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:17,307 The newspaper called my performance "serviceable." 149 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,892 That won't help you here. 150 00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:20,643 This isn't some shallow rendition of the '50s. 151 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,146 This is real life. This is death. 152 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,657 I'm not sure you could even be quiet for five seconds. 153 00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,734 Easy. One, two, three, four, five. 154 00:05:27,811 --> 00:05:29,736 Hmm. I should definitely train you. 155 00:05:29,813 --> 00:05:32,238 All right, you can be my Obi-Dead Kenobi. 156 00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,074 Oh, good. You guys are here. 157 00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:38,119 So, Uncle Brian is 220 pounds of pure Alaskan stallion. 158 00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:41,006 I'm 160 pounds of droopy pony. 159 00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:43,175 Thus, I've got my body all mapped out 160 00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:45,177 and a solid plan to meet family standards 161 00:05:45,253 --> 00:05:46,086 by dash time. 162 00:05:46,162 --> 00:05:47,796 Did you have to be nude? 163 00:05:47,872 --> 00:05:50,757 Relax. I drew someone else's penis in place of my own. 164 00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,300 Step one: core. 165 00:05:52,377 --> 00:05:54,260 Since you can't carry without a strong core-y, 166 00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:58,098 I've gone ahead and downloaded an app called abpp. 167 00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:00,517 When it's not crashing my phone, it's working my zone. 168 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,860 Step two: bladder. 169 00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:03,686 You don't want to be taking any bathroom breaks 170 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,031 during the dash, so I'm gonna be upping my liqs-- 171 00:06:06,108 --> 00:06:06,865 that's what I call my liquids-- 172 00:06:06,942 --> 00:06:08,700 and stretching that blad. 173 00:06:08,777 --> 00:06:10,485 That's what I call my bladdy, which is what I call my bladder. 174 00:06:10,562 --> 00:06:12,654 And step three: hands. 175 00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:14,706 Most Tobins' hands are, medically speaking, 176 00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:16,282 more similar to claws. 177 00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:17,951 Me, I got a pair of soft-and-floppies 178 00:06:18,027 --> 00:06:21,213 just like Mom's, so what I did is bought Holdems. 179 00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:24,332 High-traction gloves that guarantee superb grip. 180 00:06:24,409 --> 00:06:26,793 One weekend seems like the perfect amount of time 181 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:29,504 to make all of these ambitious changes to your body. 182 00:06:29,581 --> 00:06:31,390 Soup's on! Not really soup, 183 00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,299 but if you want to cut up your hot dogs 184 00:06:33,376 --> 00:06:35,727 and put 'em in water, who am I to stop you? 185 00:06:35,804 --> 00:06:37,220 Oh, hello, Ham. 186 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,638 Is it okay if I eat dinner with you 187 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:40,974 or are you having a private dinner, too? (chuckles) 188 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:43,017 In case anyone is wondering what I'm talking about, 189 00:06:43,094 --> 00:06:45,687 Ham had a private lunch at school today without me 190 00:06:45,763 --> 00:06:46,905 for the first time ever. 191 00:06:46,982 --> 00:06:48,907 But maybe he'd like to tell me now what it was. 192 00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:50,900 -He would not. -Ooh, you know, I think I may have a lead 193 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:51,910 on the Cake Lady. 194 00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:53,153 I really, really doubt it! 195 00:06:53,229 --> 00:06:54,413 Okay. Calm down. 196 00:06:54,489 --> 00:06:55,864 I am calm! 197 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:57,824 I am a very calm person who does not want to talk 198 00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,584 about the Feast Cake or the Cake Lady 199 00:06:59,661 --> 00:07:00,827 or what I did at lunch. 200 00:07:00,904 --> 00:07:02,495 Seems like there's a lot of topics 201 00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:03,746 that are off-limits. 202 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,591 Yeah, so maybe we should just not talk. 203 00:07:06,668 --> 00:07:08,501 -What's on TV? -Diondra Tundra here 204 00:07:08,578 --> 00:07:10,545 with Mayor Peppers, doing a deep dive 205 00:07:10,622 --> 00:07:12,672 -into this year's Feast Cake. -Oh, no. 206 00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:15,434 Our Cake Lady countdown clock is ticking away. 207 00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:16,768 (loud ticking) 208 00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:18,603 -(gags) -Son, are you all right? 209 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:19,938 Do you need the barf basket? 210 00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:21,097 DIONDRA: Can the new Cake Lady 211 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,557 live up to last year's 212 00:07:22,634 --> 00:07:24,267 unforgettable "Thanksgiving Dinner 213 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,393 with All the Fixins Cake"? 214 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:28,188 -Nope! -Ham, what is going on? 215 00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:30,940 (exhales) All right, fine. I can't take it anymore. 216 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,358 She's me, okay? 217 00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:34,777 -The new Cake Lady is me! She's me! -(gasping) 218 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,831 She's me, she's me, she's me, she's me, she's me. I'm her. 219 00:07:42,111 --> 00:07:43,745 -Ham, you're the Cake Lady? -Busted. 220 00:07:43,821 --> 00:07:46,206 Wait, so that means my Jackson Pollock birthday cake 221 00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:48,249 -splattered with candied pollock? -Me. 222 00:07:48,326 --> 00:07:50,635 The nasal cake for the Ear, Nose and Throat Clinic's anniversary, 223 00:07:50,712 --> 00:07:52,629 with those golden raisin boogers? 224 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,256 Mm-hmm. The Bundt cake for the Little League championship game, 225 00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,476 the upsetting but ultimately very delicious 226 00:07:57,552 --> 00:07:59,469 Death By Chocolate cake for the funeral home. 227 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,471 -All of it, me. -But how? 228 00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,640 I do it at night. I say my "sleep tights" 229 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,933 and give my bedbug warnings 230 00:08:05,009 --> 00:08:06,151 and then I head down to the kitchen 231 00:08:06,228 --> 00:08:07,486 and Cake Lady till morn. 232 00:08:07,562 --> 00:08:09,604 But, Ham, how could you not have told me? 233 00:08:09,681 --> 00:08:11,564 Did you just wake up one day and think, 234 00:08:11,641 --> 00:08:14,150 "Hmm, I guess I'm going to become the Cake Lady 235 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,660 and not tell my sister about it"? 236 00:08:15,737 --> 00:08:18,163 No, I just... (exhales) I didn't tell anyone. 237 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,823 I found the Cake Lady's last order still tacked to the tree 238 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,158 and I thought, "I've always loved cake. 239 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,826 Maybe I could make one." 240 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,621 Oof. That is almost exactly how I came to be in charge 241 00:08:26,698 --> 00:08:29,174 of the town dump for a brief time in the '90s. 242 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:32,085 So I tried making cakes, because why not, right? 243 00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,003 You got to live, and it turned out 244 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,755 I was pretty good at it. (sighs) 245 00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:39,175 But the Feast Cake is a whole nother beast... cake. 246 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,511 Well, surely you got to have some ideas. 247 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,012 Uh, maybe we can workshop 'em. 248 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,598 Here's the list I made in the library at lunch today. 249 00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:48,351 Okay, it says "pie" crossed out seven times 250 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,694 and then "cake." 251 00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:51,479 Well, cake's a good start. 252 00:08:51,556 --> 00:08:53,773 What about... plain cake? 253 00:08:53,850 --> 00:08:55,984 Or-- here's a delicious cake idea-- 254 00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,151 you could've told me, 255 00:08:57,228 --> 00:08:58,036 your Alaskan twin, 256 00:08:58,113 --> 00:08:59,654 aka best friend and... 257 00:08:59,731 --> 00:09:01,823 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, or what about a cake 258 00:09:01,899 --> 00:09:04,033 shaped like a cupcake but so big? 259 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,077 I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking. 260 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,829 Dirt. You can eat it if you have to. 261 00:09:07,905 --> 00:09:10,164 (sighs) I got to go figure this out on my own. 262 00:09:10,241 --> 00:09:12,125 Great. He'll just go do something all by himself, 263 00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:14,627 which is, well, something I'm totally fine with. 264 00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:17,046 Ooh, or what about a cake shaped like a little cupcake 265 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,339 and everybody gets one? 266 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:19,891 Uh, that's just regular cupcakes, babe. 267 00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:22,552 Oh, yeah. You're right. (chuckles) It is. Great call. 268 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,563 -(sucking sounds) -Uh, is something wrong, Judy? 269 00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:26,848 You finished that smoothie 17 minutes ago. 270 00:09:26,924 --> 00:09:28,182 There's nothing left in there. 271 00:09:28,259 --> 00:09:29,734 Something is very wrong. 272 00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:31,477 Ham took up a new interest without telling me. 273 00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:33,479 Oh. I hope it's not kites. 274 00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:35,356 To watch a man fly a kite is just gross. 275 00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:36,733 No, he's just baking. 276 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,901 But he's never shut me out like this before. 277 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,571 Well, it sounds like Ham's got his own thing going on, 278 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,239 and that's perfectly natural. 279 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,824 People outgrow their dysfunctional 280 00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,577 codependent sibling relationships all the time. 281 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,745 We say "Alaskan twins." 282 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,589 Sure. Fine. My point is, 283 00:09:50,665 --> 00:09:53,416 Ham's individuating and you have to set him free, 284 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:54,500 like a bird. 285 00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,044 Or a lynx that you brought home 286 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,046 because it was cute but then turned out to be 287 00:09:58,122 --> 00:09:59,922 not that great of a pet. 288 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,342 I'm a firm believer in letting everything go. 289 00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:04,102 Friends, family, your boyfriend, 290 00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:05,103 his lover. 291 00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:06,763 But not his lover's boyfriend. 292 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,441 (chuckles): Oh. Gregory makes an amazing banana bread. 293 00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:11,225 -It's so moist. -Oh, yeah. 294 00:10:11,302 --> 00:10:12,944 It's unspeakably moist. 295 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:14,103 It's almost damp. 296 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,229 (indistinct chatter) 297 00:10:15,306 --> 00:10:16,615 (groans) I know it takes time 298 00:10:16,691 --> 00:10:18,358 to break in new gloves, but maybe a better name 299 00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:20,109 for Holdems might've been Razor Mittens. 300 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,612 -(chuckles): Or Lil' Bleedies. -Why don't you take 'em off 301 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:25,073 -if they're bothering you so much? -(sputters) Bothering me? 302 00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:26,908 (chuckles) No way. I actually feel better 303 00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:28,960 when my hands hurt a lot, believe it or not. 304 00:10:29,037 --> 00:10:32,205 (high-pitched yelp) That was just a primal battle scream 305 00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:33,790 meant to pump us up. 306 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,416 You feeling pumped up, my Beef man? (groans) 307 00:10:35,493 --> 00:10:36,801 -Here, gimme th... -Uh-uh, Dad. 308 00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:38,753 This is the kind of stick-tuitiveness 309 00:10:38,830 --> 00:10:41,306 you can expect to see from me on dash day. 310 00:10:41,383 --> 00:10:42,641 Ooh! Ah! Eeh! 311 00:10:42,717 --> 00:10:44,384 (grunting, groaning) 312 00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:46,478 Oh, this pressure is insane! 313 00:10:46,554 --> 00:10:48,930 The last Cake Lady is so lucky she's in jail. 314 00:10:49,006 --> 00:10:51,432 Oh, hello, Brother. How goeseth the Feast Cake? 315 00:10:51,509 --> 00:10:54,644 -Ugh. Not good. -Oh, very well then, Hamuel. 316 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,646 Since this is your personal private affair 317 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:57,814 and not both of ours, together, 318 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,824 I shall take my leave of you now. 319 00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:03,328 Um, okay. I'll just be down here not making the Feast Cake. 320 00:11:03,405 --> 00:11:05,163 Hm. Have a pleasant evening, Mr. Tobin. 321 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,323 ALYSON: You have to set him free, like a bird! 322 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,992 Or a lynx that you brought home because it was cute, 323 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:14,288 but then turned out to be not that great of a pet. 324 00:11:14,365 --> 00:11:17,667 Oof. Ham's really crappin' the cake pan down there, huh? 325 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:20,128 Yes, and it is his prerogative to do so. 326 00:11:20,204 --> 00:11:22,514 He is an Alaskan singleton now, as am I. 327 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,849 Two individuals, living as two. 328 00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,634 But you're Alaskan twins! 329 00:11:26,711 --> 00:11:28,761 Yeah, well, only in name these days. 330 00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:30,346 Alyson said I need to let him go. 331 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,856 But you hate letting things go! 332 00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:34,016 I know! I still have all my retainers. 333 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,360 Even my SpongeBob SquarePants retainer: 334 00:11:35,437 --> 00:11:37,019 SpongeMouth StraightTeeth! 335 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,689 Okay, so, maybe you don't have to let him go. 336 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,733 I mean, I didn't get to be the living legend 337 00:11:41,809 --> 00:11:43,702 I am today all by myself. 338 00:11:43,778 --> 00:11:45,820 Of course not. You had an entire team 339 00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:48,156 of managers, hair and makeup, midwives, etcetera, 340 00:11:48,232 --> 00:11:49,907 at every step along the way! 341 00:11:49,984 --> 00:11:51,451 Yes, and that's exactly the kind of encouragement 342 00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:52,952 and support that Ham needs. 343 00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:54,704 So maybe instead of letting him go, 344 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,289 you just need to hold onto him differently, 345 00:11:56,365 --> 00:11:58,291 like, side-hug him or something. 346 00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:01,302 Ah. I'll side-hug him first thing in the morning. 347 00:12:03,915 --> 00:12:06,099 Ham? 348 00:12:06,709 --> 00:12:09,302 HAM: "I'm sorry. I can't do it. 349 00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:11,471 "Gone to turn in my whisk and let the town know 350 00:12:11,547 --> 00:12:13,181 "that I've failed them. Ham. 351 00:12:13,257 --> 00:12:16,401 "P.S. Do you have any idea wher I might turn in my whisk? 352 00:12:16,478 --> 00:12:19,988 P.P.S. Never mind. I have to figure this out alone." 353 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,068 HAM: Okay, okay, okay, there's the mayor. I'll just 354 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,245 go over to him and hand him my whisk, 355 00:12:27,322 --> 00:12:28,988 and say, "Here's my whisk." 356 00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:32,250 And he'll say, "Okay. Why are you handing me a whisk?" 357 00:12:32,327 --> 00:12:35,161 And I'll say, "Because I'm not baking a cake this year." 358 00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:38,256 And he'll say, "Oh, okay. Do you want your whisk back?" 359 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:42,543 And I'll say, "No. You keep the whisk, Dear Mayor." 360 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:45,838 And we will take a picture with me, him and the whisk. 361 00:12:45,915 --> 00:12:48,600 And he will make me his deputy! 362 00:12:48,676 --> 00:12:50,092 Ham, stop right there! 363 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,552 Alaskan twins don't let each other 364 00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:52,937 turn in their whisks. 365 00:12:53,014 --> 00:12:56,015 Look, while my canvas is improv, poetry, 366 00:12:56,092 --> 00:12:58,109 theater, dance and actual canvas... 367 00:12:58,186 --> 00:12:59,778 Oh, and frankly, I mean, look, let's just... 368 00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:02,063 The world around me inspires me. 369 00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:04,899 Your canvas is cake, and inside you, 370 00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:07,109 there's an amazing not-people cake. 371 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,904 But it would be crazy, and frankly unsafe, 372 00:13:09,981 --> 00:13:12,615 to expect you to give birth to something that big 373 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,116 without the help of a licensed midwife. 374 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,077 Judy, are you a licensed midwife? 375 00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:18,463 (laughs) Some day, perhaps for a brief time after college. 376 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:20,131 But what I'm saying is... 377 00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:23,501 Requesting permission to report for cake duty, sir. 378 00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:25,962 Fall in, Private Icing. Fall in. 379 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,549 They say dead men tell no tales, but this reminds me of a story. 380 00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:32,927 Shh. Your body is of the earth. 381 00:13:33,004 --> 00:13:37,315 Your limbs are still. Your flesh is food. 382 00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:38,891 Whoa! I honestly never... 383 00:13:38,968 --> 00:13:41,319 Your mouth is shut. 384 00:13:41,396 --> 00:13:45,106 Your head is not nodding. 385 00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:47,900 (groans) Judy, is there a reason I'm in my bathing suit? 386 00:13:47,977 --> 00:13:49,610 Just to manage my own expectations. 387 00:13:49,687 --> 00:13:51,496 We're not going to a water park? 388 00:13:51,573 --> 00:13:52,997 If you want to make a Feast Cake 389 00:13:53,074 --> 00:13:55,333 that really embodies the spirit of the early settlers, 390 00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:57,660 then you need to be an early settler, 391 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,996 in all that they endured. Are you cold? 392 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,789 -Yes. -Are you hungry? 393 00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:03,007 I had some chips. 394 00:14:03,084 --> 00:14:04,792 That's no good. Don't use that. 395 00:14:04,869 --> 00:14:08,671 All that was, no longer is. 396 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:12,851 All that was, no longer is. 397 00:14:12,927 --> 00:14:17,013 All that was, no longer is. 398 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,015 Think of a time when you were hungry. 399 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,934 Uh, I wanted the food, but I couldn't have the food. 400 00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:24,195 Yes! And bring that to the now! 401 00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:27,857 I want the food, but I can't have the food! 402 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:30,151 -Keep going! -I... 403 00:14:30,227 --> 00:14:31,369 Yes, Ham. What?! 404 00:14:31,446 --> 00:14:33,613 I am the food! 405 00:14:33,689 --> 00:14:34,947 And what do you see?! 406 00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:36,708 I see people, Judy! 407 00:14:36,784 --> 00:14:38,701 Not not people. 408 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:43,331 (cries) Not not people. 409 00:14:43,407 --> 00:14:45,291 I know what I need to do. 410 00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:48,127 Okay great. All that was, no longer is. 411 00:14:48,204 --> 00:14:49,962 And etcetera. Got it. 412 00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:54,058 Okay, I mean, we should probably spend a lot more time on this, 413 00:14:54,135 --> 00:14:57,303 but it's dark, and I don't want to miss tuck-in. 414 00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:59,013 Dad only makes one round. 415 00:14:59,090 --> 00:15:02,108 If you're not in bed, he just keeps walking. 416 00:15:03,144 --> 00:15:07,688 ♪ Here we are stuck together ♪ 417 00:15:07,765 --> 00:15:10,650 ♪ Working till the break of day ♪ 418 00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:15,237 ♪ Side by side, it feels so good ♪ 419 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,915 ♪ To feel this way ♪ 420 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,412 ♪ We're making something good ♪ 421 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,174 ♪ To greet the day ♪ 422 00:15:28,002 --> 00:15:30,595 ♪ To greet the day. ♪ 423 00:15:30,672 --> 00:15:33,756 -My God, you've done it. -Done what? 424 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,049 Oh, the cake! Yeah! 425 00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:37,218 Yup, yup, yup, the cake, the cake. Yup. Yup. 426 00:15:37,294 --> 00:15:40,271 WOLF: Can you help me with my competitor wristband? 427 00:15:40,348 --> 00:15:42,607 Uh, these little bleedies still aren't quite broken in. 428 00:15:42,684 --> 00:15:45,226 Okay. Ooh. Uh, Wolf? 429 00:15:45,302 --> 00:15:46,852 What? What is it? 430 00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:49,397 "Turn Holdems right side out before wearing"?! 431 00:15:49,473 --> 00:15:52,450 (whimpers): Oh, God. Does that mean...? 432 00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:55,069 No! Get them off! Dad, get 'em. 433 00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:56,696 Oh, no. I had too many liqs! 434 00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:58,456 That's what I call liquids! (gasps) 435 00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:01,742 Son, I think something just spilled in your pocket 436 00:16:01,819 --> 00:16:03,962 from your penis all over your pants. 437 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,955 That's pee... from my blad! 438 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,465 Come on, buddy. That's okay. 439 00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:10,635 -Oh, God, your hands! -I'm a monster! 440 00:16:10,712 --> 00:16:13,713 A monster covered in urine! 441 00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:18,217 And my abs hurt when I sob because of that dumb abpp! 442 00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:21,595 -(whistle blows) -Let's go, uh, win that trophy! 443 00:16:21,672 --> 00:16:24,482 (sobbing) 444 00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:26,359 ♪ ♪ 445 00:16:30,181 --> 00:16:33,065 -And up! -It's no use, Dad! 446 00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:36,027 You were right not to want to do this with me! 447 00:16:36,103 --> 00:16:38,112 The only thing I'm good at is letting you down. 448 00:16:38,189 --> 00:16:40,114 You haven't let me down, Wolf. 449 00:16:40,191 --> 00:16:42,450 -You've lifted me up! -No, I haven't. 450 00:16:42,526 --> 00:16:44,452 My hands, Dad. Did you forget? 451 00:16:44,528 --> 00:16:46,996 Your hands are a terrifying inspiration. 452 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,081 A hideous testament to your passion. 453 00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:51,167 -They are? -After all these years 454 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,628 and all these wins, I had lost the thrill of true hardship. 455 00:16:54,705 --> 00:16:56,839 But now, seeing you out here 456 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,759 in your pee-pee pants with your bloody paws, 457 00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:02,520 sobbing like a crazy baby but still going, 458 00:17:02,597 --> 00:17:06,098 you've made me proud to be on Team Tobin again. 459 00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:08,142 Thanks, Dad. Let's do this. 460 00:17:08,219 --> 00:17:10,519 Nope, sorry, can't. No way, no how. 461 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,364 Yes, you can! I've got too much swagger to be a cadaver. 462 00:17:13,441 --> 00:17:16,484 Yeah! Okay! Now let's win that trophy! 463 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,696 Diondra is going to lose her newscaster mind over this cake. 464 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,707 Do you think she'll call you the "Bad Boy of Cake" 465 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,542 or the "Cake Whisperer"? 466 00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:27,787 No. No, no, no, no! The engine can't give out now! 467 00:17:27,863 --> 00:17:29,964 (gasps) Jean Claude Van damn it! 468 00:17:34,078 --> 00:17:35,711 Ugh! The countdown clock is probably 469 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,546 almost all counted down. We'll never make it in time. 470 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,724 And the cake is too heavy for the two of us to carry that far! 471 00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:41,392 Ham, don't give up! (gasps) 472 00:17:41,469 --> 00:17:43,344 I think I see the cadaver dashers! 473 00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:45,137 -Help! -Wait. Do you hear that? 474 00:17:45,214 --> 00:17:46,722 -Judy? -Judy? 475 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,900 Dad! Wolf! We need hands over here! 476 00:17:48,976 --> 00:17:51,069 Try again for that trophy next year? 477 00:17:51,145 --> 00:17:54,522 Dad, I promise you that my bod will be so smokin' by then. 478 00:17:54,598 --> 00:17:57,241 Moon, come on, we've got to go help your brother and sister. 479 00:17:57,318 --> 00:18:00,903 Man, he's good. See you later, little Daniel Dead-Lewis. 480 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,238 -Careful, careful. -Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 481 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,082 -Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! -Uh, you know what? 482 00:18:04,158 --> 00:18:05,407 Maybe I'll help carry, and you can just direct us? 483 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,034 You got it, Cake Lady. 484 00:18:07,111 --> 00:18:10,246 -Five, four, three, two... -Step back, everyone! 485 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,997 -Step back! -The Feast Cake! -There it is! 486 00:18:12,074 --> 00:18:15,751 Hello, everyone. It's me, Ham Tobin. 487 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:19,338 But you might know me better as... the Cake Lady. 488 00:18:19,415 --> 00:18:20,881 -(overlapping shouting) -No way! 489 00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:22,341 Yes, believe it. 490 00:18:22,418 --> 00:18:25,427 And I'm here to reveal to you my very first Feast Cake. 491 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,105 I hope you like it. 492 00:18:27,181 --> 00:18:28,514 -(gasping) -MAN: It's a people! 493 00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:29,557 My eyes! 494 00:18:29,633 --> 00:18:30,933 No! Don't look away! 495 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,435 But we eat not people in this town! 496 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:36,114 I am confused. So, are we not eating people, 497 00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:37,949 or not not eating people now? 498 00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:40,526 I'm fine either way. Just someone let me know. 499 00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:42,120 No, we don't eat people, 500 00:18:42,196 --> 00:18:44,780 but we are afraid that we used to eat them, 501 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,949 and that somehow, we might eat them again. 502 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,626 It wasn't until my sister Judy took me 503 00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:50,202 into the woods for a non-sexual 504 00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:52,621 role-playing exercise that I finally realized. 505 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,583 The best thing you can do with a fear is confront it. 506 00:18:55,659 --> 00:18:59,962 Me facing my cake fear means that we can all face our fears. 507 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:03,215 My fear that my ears will slide right off my head in the shower? 508 00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:06,635 Yes, uh-huh, sure. But also our biggest fear! 509 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,312 Our fear of the truth. 510 00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:11,557 The early settlers didn't eat not people. 511 00:19:11,634 --> 00:19:15,987 What they ate, what we ate, was people. 512 00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:17,438 Ham Tobin is right. 513 00:19:17,514 --> 00:19:19,323 We used to rely on each other to be food, 514 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,651 but now, we rely on each other to be friends. 515 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,328 Damn it, Peppers, you got me. 516 00:19:24,405 --> 00:19:26,488 Cake Lady, would you do us the honor 517 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,407 of cutting the first slice of people? 518 00:19:28,484 --> 00:19:31,076 I'd be honored to do that honor, Your Honor. 519 00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,494 (crowd screams) 520 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,955 It's okay. It's just runny Jell-O. 521 00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,165 DIONDRA: Mmm... 522 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,251 Mm-mm-mm. Diondra Tundra here live 523 00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:41,670 with the final Feast report, where facing our fears 524 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,506 never tasted so good, thanks to Lone Moose's new 525 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:47,218 William Cake-speare, Cake Lady Ham Tobin. 526 00:19:47,294 --> 00:19:50,930 (sighs) Well, imaginary best friend Alani-- 527 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:52,973 Whoa! (nervous chuckle) Just coming out here to see 528 00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:54,350 if any of the shingles need replacing. 529 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,185 Out here talking to yourself again? 530 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,687 -Hmm. Yeah. -Aw, that's cool. 531 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,698 I-I won't take up too much of your time. 532 00:20:00,775 --> 00:20:03,359 I just wanted to say thanks for your help. 533 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,610 That's what Alaskan twins are for. 534 00:20:04,687 --> 00:20:07,029 Yeah, I don't know what I'd do without you. 535 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,040 Probably die or, like, maybe come up with 536 00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:10,824 some other coping mechanism. 537 00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:14,545 -Same. Do you have time for our secret handshake? -Always. 538 00:20:14,622 --> 00:20:16,956 BOTH: Flim, flam, Judy, Ham. 539 00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:18,874 I am scallop, you are clam. 540 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,876 Underwater, out of sight, 541 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,795 Mollusks in the dark of night. 542 00:20:22,871 --> 00:20:26,173 It's spooky. It's spooky! 543 00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,050 -Oh, hey. -Hey, what? 544 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,876 -Night vision. -Let's strut. 545 00:20:29,954 --> 00:20:32,563 BOTH: Brother-sister-brother-sister- brother-sister-brother-sister. 546 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,391 Clap, chihuahua. Snap, clap chihuahua. 547 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:38,310 I said clap, chihuahua. Snap, clap chihuahua. 548 00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:39,687 -What? -Wha... 549 00:20:39,763 --> 00:20:41,230 BOTH: I went to school and took a look, 550 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,982 and this is how I read my book. 551 00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,025 "Happy families are all alike. 552 00:20:45,102 --> 00:20:47,912 Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own..." 553 00:20:47,989 --> 00:20:51,323 waaaay out! Waaaay out! 554 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,709 Outhouse, outmouse, out tailored blouse. 555 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,247 ♪ There's a jar full of teeth ♪ 556 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,249 ♪ It's been sitting out all week ♪ 557 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,669 ♪ And I wish I knew how many teeth were in it ♪ 558 00:21:03,746 --> 00:21:05,587 ♪ So I'll look at it and I'll focus ♪ 559 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,765 ♪ Because if your guess is closest ♪ 560 00:21:07,842 --> 00:21:11,218 ♪ Then you get to keep the jar, that's right, you win it ♪ 561 00:21:11,295 --> 00:21:13,262 ♪ And there's nothing in the world ♪ 562 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,847 ♪ That I couldn't do ♪ 563 00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:18,225 ♪ With that big old batch of fangs in my life ♪ 564 00:21:18,302 --> 00:21:20,352 ♪ She'd be my wife ♪ 565 00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:22,271 ♪ Oh, those teeth would complete me ♪ 566 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,106 ♪ I would kiss each one so sweetly ♪ 567 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,618 ♪ Oh, how many teeth can be inside that jar? ♪ 568 00:21:28,362 --> 00:21:30,237 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 569 00:21:30,314 --> 00:21:31,622 and TOYOTA