1 00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:03,752 -♪ look up there ♪ -♪ what do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,629 ♪ nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:06,714 -♪ like a rock ♪ -♪ and a tree ♪ 4 00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:09,675 ♪ oh, the great north ♪ 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,178 ♪ way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:14,304 ♪ catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:15,806 ♪ or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,141 ♪ wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:20,352 ♪ oh, the great north ♪ 10 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,854 ♪ here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,522 ♪ here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,107 ♪ from longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:29,111 ♪ in the great north. ♪ 14 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,910 thanks for the ride home from the mall, steven. 15 00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:38,162 Sure, any time. 16 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,955 I mean, anytime you're at the mall. 17 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,166 Because, otherwise, how could I drive you home from there? 18 00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,877 Oh, great point, and I love... Points. 19 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:46,128 Well, that movie was fun. 20 00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:48,589 -Yeah. -So, uh, this is off topic, 21 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,257 but, um, could I kiss you? 22 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:52,384 Uh, yeah, big time. 23 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,220 ♪ ♪ 24 00:00:58,768 --> 00:01:01,101 -(judy exclaiming) -oh, no! Are you okay, judy? 25 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,644 -Uh... -Do you need some help? 26 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,937 No, no, I'm all set. 27 00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,355 I just wanted to lie on the ground 28 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,149 and gather my thoughts about the evening. 29 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,693 I-- yeah, okay, I guess I'll, I'll just, I'll just go. 30 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,070 Oh, sounds good. 31 00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:13,280 So just have a great year. 32 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,657 Or keep in touch, actually, is what I meant to say. 33 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,284 -Or stay in school. -Okay. 34 00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:18,577 Uh, bye? 35 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,872 Judy tootie, fresh and fruity, how's it dangling? 36 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,332 That is a very fun new greeting, 37 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,334 imaginary best friend alanis morissette. 38 00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:27,086 I'm just gonna dive right in here 39 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,837 with how it is actually dangling. 40 00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,756 Is this about the big group movie date you went on tonight? 41 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,883 Yes. Did you happen to see me maybe... 42 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,885 Fall off the porch when steven huang tried to kiss you? 43 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,804 And then pretend that you like laying on the ground? 44 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,347 And then say "stay in school"? 45 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:39,640 -So you saw? -I saw. 46 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,391 It started out so great. 47 00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:43,685 You see, on the group date, steven and I went in together-- 48 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,230 financially-- on a plus-size movie treat. 49 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,774 Does anyone want to share a jumbo minty mints? 50 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,150 (in slow motion): I do. 51 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,779 (in slow motion): Oh! (laughing) 52 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:56,073 due to our mint-sharing agreement, steven and I 53 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,408 had to sit next to each other and the next thing you know, 54 00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:00,452 there were a... More than usual number 55 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,746 -of fingers in that box. -Alanis: I'm not sure you know 56 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,039 what you're saying, judy, but continue. 57 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,332 Plus he wears cologne 58 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,458 like a young millionaire, 59 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,835 and it makes him smell like... 60 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,586 Like if a hamburger went ahead 61 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:10,754 and just took a bath. 62 00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:12,422 So my senses were... 63 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,091 -Overwhelmed, you get it. -Overwhelmed, I get it. 64 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:17,052 But then when he went in for the big k-I-s-s, 65 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:20,264 I just couldn't do it because of, because of-- 66 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:22,683 -the incident? -Yes, the incident. 67 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,476 Let me paint a picture for you. 68 00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:27,020 -Oh, good, the story again. -There I was, 69 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,148 standing near my locker with my seventh grade 70 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:31,024 boyfriend, anderson guffstafsen. 71 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,026 Two sweet, crazy tweens 72 00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,687 unaware of the tragedy that was about to befall them. 73 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,323 The hallway cleared, anderson leaned in for a kiss, 74 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,118 but just then, a breeze blew through, 75 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,995 and a bunch of his gorgeous blond hair 76 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:44,788 blew right into my mouth. 77 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,123 It was my first kiss-- I didn't know 78 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,666 what I was feeling and I thought 79 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,168 that's what frenching felt like. 80 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,378 I mean, it's France, so I just kept kissing. 81 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,965 And then I realized his hair was lodged in my braces. 82 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,967 And when I say "lodged," I mean 83 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,678 "lodged"-- we had to walk to the nurse's office like that! 84 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,389 It was the longest walk of my life. 85 00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:05,100 Teachers let kids come out of the classrooms to gawk. 86 00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,686 The school nurse had to cut anderson's beautiful 87 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,479 locks out of my mouth. 88 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:11,899 And then the dentist had to temporarily 89 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,152 remove my braces to get the rest of the hair out! 90 00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:17,321 Sure, I got two prizes when it was all over. 91 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,156 A bouncy ball and a plastic spider ring 92 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,074 that would also get caught in my braces months later. 93 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,576 But anderson and I both decided 94 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,495 that it was best to go our separate ways 95 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,080 and I haven't been able to kiss anyone since. 96 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,082 -Huh. -What do you mean, "huh"? 97 00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:31,627 Well, I know that story's why you say 98 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,045 you haven't kissed anyone since, 99 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,630 but don't you think that maybe your tendency 100 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,966 to avoid relationships is, I don't know, genetic? 101 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,218 -What?! -I'm just saying your dad 102 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:41,011 has dated anyone since your mom left. 103 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:44,223 Well, yeah, but that was pretty recently very many years ago. 104 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:46,516 And for a long time, he pretended she was dead 105 00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:47,768 so he wouldn't have to get back out there. 106 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,645 Well, he stopped doing that now. 107 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,356 And how many dates has he been on since he stopped pretending? 108 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,816 Mm, well, that would be zero, alanis, 109 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,069 and I feel like you knew that and that was a gotcha question. 110 00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,946 See, he let one bad experience 111 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,989 prevent him from ever trying to find love again. 112 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,491 And now here you are doing pretty much 113 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,618 -the same thing, right? -Uh, well... 114 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,870 I mean, not kissing anyone sounds like a great way 115 00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,497 to never get hurt and then die alone 116 00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:10,499 clutching a photograph of someone you never kissed. 117 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,994 Oh, god, I don't want dad to die alone like that! 118 00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,420 I was talking more about you, but... 119 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,047 No, you're right. I got to get going 120 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,216 -on fixing my dad right away. -Okay. 121 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,385 Dumb alanis, my dad isn't gonna die alone. 122 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:24,179 My dad's gonna die accompanied. Oh, hey, moon. 123 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,722 -Hey, judy. -Uh, what are you doing? 124 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,808 I'm capturing a flightless ruffed grouse 125 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,060 to teach it how to fly and then re-release it into the wild. 126 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,979 -What are you doing? -Storming over to wolf's 127 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:33,272 to talk to him about dad's love life. 128 00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:36,566 -Good luck. -And to you, my friend. 129 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,403 Uh-oh, looks like somebody 130 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,946 -wants in on fonzarella night. -What? 131 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:42,739 Oh, fonzarella night, yeah. 132 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,491 We watch a henry winkler movie and make mozzarella sticks. 133 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,201 Tonight it's you don't mess with the zohan. 134 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,245 He plays "uncredited limousine passenger," 135 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,123 but he still steals the movie out from under sandler, imho. 136 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,834 Wolf, I need to talk to you urgently about dad. 137 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,836 You had me at dad. 138 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,587 Everyone, this is timothy. 139 00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:00,007 Please note that he is not a pet or food. 140 00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:01,717 I'm teaching him to fly. 141 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:02,884 Oh, maybe I can help you. 142 00:05:03,012 --> 00:05:04,177 I also cannot fly, 143 00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:05,804 so I totally get what he's going through. 144 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,307 No offense, moon, personally, I don't care for birds. 145 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,725 I always catch them peaking in my windows. 146 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,019 Stop peaking, birds. This isn't for you. 147 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,353 Yeah, it's for her, birds. 148 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,022 A woman's body is her own dominion. 149 00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:17,065 Eyes to yourself, timothy. Don't look at my dominion. 150 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,692 Okay, so family meeting. 151 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:22,029 Little dawn download requested by our only sister judy. 152 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,156 Juderonomous, you've the floor. 153 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,824 (clears throat) it has come to my attention 154 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,577 via a friend of mine who definitely exists here on earth 155 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,371 and is a real person that dad has not been on any dates 156 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,081 since admitting that mom left him. 157 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,666 And he is at serious risk of dying alone, 158 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,336 clutching a women he carved out of a tree stump. 159 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,421 -Aren't we all? -So I was thinking we should 160 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,548 give him a little push just to, you know, 161 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,425 -get him back out there. -And I realize that there's 162 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,344 a "meet and meat" singles mixer tomorrow night 163 00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:47,179 at the russian bar that'd be perfect 164 00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:48,680 for meeting some lone moose ladies. 165 00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:50,223 Now, why is it called a "meet and meat"? 166 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,475 Oh, because they also raffle off 167 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,310 a bunch of meat from local hunters. 168 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,561 I used to go to it sometimes 169 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,021 when I was an eligible bachelor. 170 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,814 Never met anyone, but one time I won 171 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,441 14 caribou steaks. 172 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,693 Lost 'em on the way home, but what a thrill. 173 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,779 I printed out a flier for it from their website 174 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:04,946 using our old printer. 175 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,239 It only took 45 minutes, 176 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:07,532 and you can read two-thirds of it. 177 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:09,618 -Dope. -Oh, boy, dad's gonna hate this. 178 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,952 Don't you think we should just let him 179 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,537 meet someone on his own? 180 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,498 Like when harry met, you know, what's it called? 181 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,751 -Sally. -No, the hendersons, and they all fell in love. 182 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,170 Guys, I think we ought to support judy here, 183 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,089 and by doing that, support dad. 184 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,382 We should go, too. I'm taken, 185 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,841 but I'd love to win some bacon. 186 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,468 You got it, my sausage sweetie. 187 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,553 Great idea. We can all go. And as a bargaining chip, 188 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,306 wolf and I thought we could promise dad, in exchange, 189 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,309 -the one thing he's always wanted. -You don't mean... 190 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,727 Yeah, I do mean. I'm talking about 191 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,896 the whole family taking the chain saw basics 192 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:41,024 workshop series being offered at the public library. 193 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,859 -(ham groans) -hear us out. 194 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:45,070 Guys, it's only four saturdays. Eight hours each day. 195 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,072 Well, we've avoided it for years, 196 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,865 but if that's what it takes to stop dad from dying alone, 197 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:52,285 -then stick a fork in me, 'cause I'm a chain saw. -Great. 198 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,121 Oh, god, here he comes. Everyone act casual. 199 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,498 What's going on? Is it the apocalypse? 200 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,917 No one panic, we have 500 years' worth of rice, 201 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,752 and two calvin and hobbes books in the basement. 202 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,047 No, it's even better than that, if you can believe it. 203 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,507 (sings fanfare) 204 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,342 dad, it's time for you to get back on the horse 205 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,719 and ride that horse to the barn and meet women 206 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:13,265 at the meet and meat singles mixer this weekend. 207 00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:15,475 Oh, I didn't tell you guys? 208 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:19,187 I'm actually off to hawaii for a work trip. 209 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,480 -You get it, you get it. -Uh-oh, code dad. 210 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,524 -Grab him, quick! -He's on the move! 211 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,113 Children, sorry that I tried to run away, and you were forced 212 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,240 to wrestle me to the ground and then sit on me 213 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:33,243 for 15 minutes while I fought you like a wild bear. 214 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,953 (chuckles) it's no problem, dad. 215 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,123 We'll wrestle you to the ground any day, and I mean that. 216 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,167 So, if I go tomorrow and attempt to, 217 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,377 as the teens say, "meet people," 218 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:45,297 you will really all seriously attend 219 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,424 the chain saw basics workshop with me? 220 00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,843 Yep. That's what we said, and that's what we meant. 221 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,219 You have my word. 222 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,221 You can also have this word: Pineapple. 223 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,223 I've asked you to do that so many times. 224 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,184 It's literally all I've ever wanted. 225 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,144 And now it's all we've ever wanted. 226 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:01,521 32 hours with our family and our chain saws. 227 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:04,191 Well, then, the meet and meat it is. 228 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:06,526 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up 229 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,653 about this very fun dating opportunity 230 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,530 before heading out to work on the boat. 231 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,991 Guys, we did it-- dad will no longer die alone. 232 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,410 But instead he will die in the arms of a woman. 233 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,870 Identity tbd. 234 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,246 Okay, great job, everybody. 235 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,998 Time for school. Let's head out. 236 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,583 Have fun at school, guys. 237 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,335 I've got to stay home and teach timothy to fly. 238 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:26,004 Uh-uh. No way, bub. You're going to school. 239 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,130 Me and honeybee will watch tim. 240 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,548 I'll show him top gun. 241 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,592 If anyone can teach him to fly, it's maverick. 242 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,302 Fine. But fast-forward through the part 243 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,721 where goose dies, please. 244 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,598 You know, judes, I was thinking we might need to help dad 245 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,642 brush up on his skills before tomorrow. 246 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,602 The meet and meat is no joke. There's, uh... 247 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,646 How do I say this? A lot of pool cues, 248 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,189 not a lot of pockets, if you know what I mean. 249 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,024 -No. What do you mean? -A lot of hot dogs, 250 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,442 -not a lot of buns. -Huh? 251 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,152 What he's saying is there'll be tons of, uh, 252 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,029 washington monuments, not a lot of grand canyons. 253 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,198 -Do we need to spell this out for you? -Maybe. 254 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,492 A lot of letters, not a lot of envelopes. 255 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,078 A lot of prairie dogs, not a lot of prairie dog holes. 256 00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:00,205 A lot of feet, not a lot of socks. 257 00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,415 -Ham gets it. -Tons of dvds, 258 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,876 not a ton of dvd shelves to put 'em on? 259 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,128 Oh, uh, kinda. Yeah. Good try, moon. 260 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,588 A lot of andre the giants, 261 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,341 not a lot of gigantic sleeping bags. 262 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,093 Uh, what are you guys talking about?! 263 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,669 A lot of men, very few women. 264 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,138 Oh... Okay, then, yeah. 265 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,765 After school, we should help dad practice dating. 266 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,850 And who better to practice on than your own kids? 267 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:25,105 Exactly. No one knows dad's romantic needs better than us. 268 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,608 -Judy, hi. -Judy: The longest walk of my life. 269 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,861 (screams): Oh, hi, hair. I mean hi there, steven. 270 00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:34,656 (laughs): I didn't know you'd be here in my mouth. 271 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,533 No, I mean here, near my locker. 272 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,286 -(laughs nervously) -yep, here I am. 273 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,662 I was wondering if maybe this weekend 274 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,414 you wanted to, uh, hang out. 275 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:45,542 Oh, huh, I wish, because, um, on weekends I travel 276 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:46,793 as a flight attendant. 277 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,421 So I'll be in frankfurt, germany. 278 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,591 Okay, uh, well, maybe during the week, then? 279 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,050 I mean, I had a lot of fun with you, 280 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,302 and I think you're really great. 281 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,137 I think you're great, too. 282 00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,515 Okay, now I have to go stand over there because I-- wow! 283 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,017 You know what, I just farted, actually, 284 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,310 and I'm allergic to my own farts, 285 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,519 so I've got to keep on moving. 286 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,021 No, don't follow me, please. 287 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,606 It's not safe, um, 'cause I'm still farting, 288 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,107 so you don't want to enter the blast zone, okay. 289 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,109 Whoo-hoo, melt your face off. 290 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,444 Wow, ew, gross. Bye-bye. 291 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,487 -Bye-bye. Stay there. -B-bye. 292 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,990 Okay, ready? Toss him back. 293 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,408 -Let's go again. -Hey, guys. 294 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,701 Do you maybe want to take a break 295 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,036 from teaching timothy to fly 296 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,621 so that we can teach dad to date? 297 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,498 No can do, judy, he's pretty motivated right now. 298 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,543 Actually, he fell asleep. (gasps) or died? 299 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:29,961 Nah, he's sleeping. 300 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,588 Let's get started. Dad, it's been a while 301 00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,757 since your last date, so this is just practice 302 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,384 to help you with your conversation skills. 303 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,136 Sorry I said "skills" like that. 304 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,846 In my mind it was gonna be cool. 305 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,598 Judy, I loved it. 306 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,391 So, dad, why don't you go ahead and take a seat there 307 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,393 -across from wolf-- he'll be your date. -Charmed. 308 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,603 I'll be your waitress. 309 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,688 And everyone else will judge you. 310 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,023 -Sound good? -Not really. 311 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,149 And... Action. 312 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,859 Now, uh, dad, just relax 313 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,527 and pretend I'm a wonderful lady. 314 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,238 (feminine voice): So, beef, what do you do? 315 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,948 I kill fish for money. 316 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,326 My, my, my! 317 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,786 Okay, uh-uh, this is not good. 318 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,746 Listen, not to brag, but before I met wolf, 319 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,373 I went on a lot of dates. 320 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,707 (normal voice): Course you did, my swipe queen. 321 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,334 Heart eyes emoji big-time. 322 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:11,419 And honestly, beef, if you want to be a good date, 323 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,130 there are really only three rules to remember. 324 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,257 One, ask her questions about herself. 325 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,926 Two, listen to her answers. 326 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,552 Three, don't ask for any of my cheesy garlic knots 327 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,388 with two different dipping sauces. 328 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,264 If you want that, order it yourself. 329 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,016 I always order my own sauces. 330 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,393 I'm not a sociopath. 331 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,395 Great. Now let's try this date again. 332 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,479 So... 333 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,897 (feminine voice): So... 334 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,399 (whispers): Ask her questions. 335 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,777 Um, okay. What kind of fish do you like? 336 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,487 I love trout. 337 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,698 -What kind of fish do you hate? -No more fish talk, beef. 338 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,990 If you were a fish, 339 00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:42,909 -what kind of fish would you be? -No. 340 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,369 -What kind of fish wouldn't you...? Damn it! -No. 341 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,747 How about we get some drinks and loosen up? 342 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,290 I'll take a fish shake. 343 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,750 -Dad, no! -Nope. 344 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:54,713 I'm trying. Do you have a driver's license? 345 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:55,755 -Yes. -Me, too. 346 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,465 Okay, that's better, I guess. 347 00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,801 Just a few more hours of practice, 348 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,011 maybe, like, 12 more hours, and tomorrow we'll be kissing 349 00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:03,930 and dating like you wouldn't believe. 350 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,349 Hey, guys, next time I'd like to play one of the dates. 351 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,351 Cheryl. She's a business associate 352 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,395 who knows what she wants. 353 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,771 Or does she? 354 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:14,149 Okay, we are about to send dad in there 355 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,025 to hopefully make some sort of romantic connection 356 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,610 which is incredibly important for him 357 00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,029 and not so much for me because I am very confident 358 00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,322 about dating and kissing. 359 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,657 -Congratulations. -Thank you. 360 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,534 Now, dad, if you feel like running, 361 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:27,036 just picture us all at the library carving out 362 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,122 some quality time to learn about chain saws. 363 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,206 And each other. 364 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,875 But in case you do run... 365 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,002 I'll be sitting near the front door to block that exit, 366 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:35,795 wolf and honeybee, you stick close by him 367 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,297 and keep him from talking about fish. 368 00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,631 Moon and ham, you go around the back 369 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,717 in case he tries to escape that way. 370 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,218 And don't get distracted by teaching timothy to fly. 371 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,595 We won't. 372 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,804 Do you know that you just winked at me? 373 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,139 -I do. -Okay. 374 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,682 If I die in there, 375 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:48,933 there's a box in my closet 376 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,727 labeled "poems for andie macdowell" 377 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:54,314 that I'd prefer you threw out without opening. 378 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,027 Honeybee: Ooh, look at all those meats we could win! 379 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,279 It's like the zoo. But they're all dead. 380 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,614 It's roasting in here. 381 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:04,616 The thermostat says 52 degrees, dad. 382 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,659 Well, it feels like I'm in cabo st. Lucas. 383 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,244 Okay, well, I'm just gonna go sit over there 384 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:09,579 with my little poem pad 385 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,289 and guard the door. Go get 'em, dad. 386 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,249 Oof. Are there even any women here? 387 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,918 Sure, sure. Oh, uh, look. 388 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,544 There's vera. 389 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:17,921 And there's that lady there, who I've never seen. 390 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,507 ♪ you can keep me warm... ♪ 391 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:25,094 hark, a siren pulls me onto yonder rocks. 392 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,683 Looks like someone buttered your dad's roll. 393 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:31,976 Go on and get her, beefcheeks. 394 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,311 Oh, please, a woman like that 395 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,104 has her pick of the pumpkins. 396 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,564 Be confident. 397 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,399 If you weren't my dad, I'd be so into you. 398 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,152 -Um... -You just need a little dutch courage, pops. 399 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,821 Yeah, beef, you hit the bar 400 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,531 while we go get some raffle tickets. 401 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,157 I'll take a cup with ice, 402 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,034 and then a lot of alcohol poured all over the ice. 403 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,786 And your largest appetizer sampler. 404 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:53,122 Nothing sets a romantic mood like the smell of warm cheese. 405 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:54,999 (groans) he's supposed to be mingling. 406 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,876 -Mingling and singling. -Hi, judy. 407 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,753 Judy: I mean "lodged." 408 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,380 (yelps) oh. Hey, steven. 409 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,422 There you are again. 410 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,590 Which I am open to, of course, 411 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:03,883 because... I'm normal. 412 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,343 Wait. What are you doing here? 413 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,970 My mom's the cocktail server here, 414 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,763 so this is kind of like my second home. 415 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:09,889 Can I buy you a soda? 416 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,684 Oh! My... Accountant is here... 417 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,143 Outside with my-- 418 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:17,021 he has my taxes, which are due... Tonight. 419 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:18,648 So... (laughs) with regret... 420 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,277 I must walk away from you to go to see him. 421 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,862 Okay. 422 00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:26,322 If you're wondering if any of the meats are haunted, 423 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,032 it's just the reindeer sausages. 424 00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:30,285 But is friendly ghost. Likes to watch me toilet. 425 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:32,495 Look at that! He's going in. 426 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,206 Yeah, dad! Hit on that woman! Respectfully! 427 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,667 Excuse me, miss, but I seem to have ordered myself 428 00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,128 a slightly too large appetizer platter. 429 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,796 Would you have any interest in sharing? 430 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,590 Yeah, if you think there's enough for two. 431 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,133 Hot damn. 432 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,760 -Name's dell. -Beef. 433 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,846 So... Do... You... 434 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,639 -Fish? -I do fish! 435 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:52,640 You do? 436 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,892 Well, I used to. 437 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:54,767 I'm just getting back into it. 438 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,394 I hadn't been out much 439 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,313 since my husband jasper died while we were fishing. 440 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,898 There's nothing quite like watching a dock line 441 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,025 wrap around your husband's neck, pull him into the water, 442 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,860 and then pop his head clean off right in front of you 443 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,987 -to put you off fishing for a spell. -That makes sense. 444 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,656 Yeah, took me a while to find the damn thing, too. 445 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,283 His head, that is. 446 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,826 I put his favorite hat on him 447 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,328 after they stitched his head back to his neck. 448 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,662 Didn't have to brush his hair, at least. 449 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,664 He hated getting his hair brushed. 450 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:17,832 He said it was too fancy. 451 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:18,958 Well, he wasn't wrong. 452 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,919 Listen, I know we just met, 453 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,004 and this is gonna sound wild, but... 454 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,423 Do you want to go outside and get some air? 455 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,592 I sure do. It's roasting in here. 456 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,845 For our next meat bundle, we have a side of elk. 457 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,389 And our winner is... Honeybee shaw! 458 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:34,891 Yay! 459 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,643 Let's put this on our bed and roll around on it. 460 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,562 Uh, hey, judy, what you doing in the trash there? 461 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:40,855 Oh, well, steven's here, 462 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,815 and so I'm picking out a gift for him. 463 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,400 -In the dumpster? -Uh... 464 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,861 -Wait, is that your...? -Dad. 465 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:47,862 -And he's with a... -Woman? 466 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,781 Wow. I knew he could do it. 467 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,282 Looks like they're hopping on 468 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,242 the choo-choo train to smooch city. 469 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,119 Next stop: Kissachusetts. 470 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,455 So tell me about this plan again? 471 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,917 I'm gonna leap off a branch and show timothy how to fly. 472 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:04,170 Yeah, but you can't fly, so... 473 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,881 Mmm. I can kind of soar. He'll see what I'm getting at. 474 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,800 Beef: What an excellent view. 475 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,385 Dell: Yeah, the ocean is 476 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,095 both breathtakingly beautiful 477 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,554 and the foundation of our local economy. 478 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,723 This is so romantic. 479 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,100 So, I was thinking. 480 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:19,644 Maybe sometime, only if you wanted to, 481 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,814 uh, maybe we could do a thing... Together. 482 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,857 Like a-a film... Or chores. 483 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:25,858 You mean like a date? 484 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,319 No, no, no. Well... Yes. 485 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,363 Like a date. Exactly like a date. 486 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,490 Oh, my god. 487 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,617 ♪ well, I'm singing a song ♪ 488 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,995 ♪ about how alanis was wrong ♪ 489 00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,414 ♪ me and my dad are gonna date ♪ 490 00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:42,208 ♪ but not each other, that sounded weird ♪ 491 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,169 ♪ we're gonna date separate people ♪ 492 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,630 ♪ my dad's gonna date this lady right here ♪ 493 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,757 -♪ 'cause she's gonna say ♪ -hmm. 494 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,301 -♪ I said she's gonna say... ♪ -no. 495 00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,344 (gasps) 496 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:54,512 moon: Aah! 497 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,889 Did he see me? Is he flying? 498 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,474 Oh. This is the part of top gun 499 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,977 you weren't supposed to see, timothy. 500 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,190 Well, this night was a disaster. 501 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,900 That rejection was pretty brutal. 502 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,235 What exactly did she say to dad? 503 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,820 -"no." -yikes. 504 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,655 -Yeah. -Beef: Good news. It's just a sprain. 505 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,949 I asked them if they could rearrange my arm bones 506 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,534 into wings, but they said no. 507 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,495 (groans) that's insane. Did they say why? 508 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,622 Judy: Who's that on the porch? 509 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,041 An intruder? Is it go time? 510 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,876 I believe that intruder 511 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,420 is dell, the leathery angel I met this evening. 512 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,088 (groans) I can't believe it. 513 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:31,090 First she rejects you, now she's here to rob us? 514 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:33,384 Guys, I don't think she's here to rob us. 515 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,836 She's probably here to say she made a terrible mistake 516 00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:37,096 and that dad's the greatest 517 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,222 and of course she'll go out with him. 518 00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,766 Okay, but if she does rob us, 519 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:40,808 she's not getting this meat. 520 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:41,809 I would die for this meat. 521 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,019 Hello there, beef. 522 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,771 I wondered if I could have a word. 523 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,105 Of course. 524 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,565 Uh, everyone, why don't you head in 525 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:49,192 and give me and dad and dell some privacy. 526 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,194 -Judy... -Okay, but if you need me, 527 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,362 I'll just be listening at the door. 528 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,531 About that invitation to go on a date... 529 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,116 -(gasps) -judy. 530 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,201 -Sorry! -Ham: I'm here, too. 531 00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,827 Okay. 532 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,287 Wolf: Uh, we are also here, dad, full disclosure. 533 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,872 Me and honeybee and moon. 534 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,123 Got it. Thank you. 535 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,666 Wolf: You are welcome, big guy. 536 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,085 You were saying? 537 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,419 Well, I didn't get a chance to give you 538 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,171 a full answer at the raffle tonight. 539 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,589 Wolf: Could you speak up just a touch more, dell? 540 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,257 I'm having a little trouble hearing you. 541 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:14,801 Oh, okay. 542 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,385 -(louder): How-how's this? -That's better, thanks! 543 00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:19,055 I, uh, really didn't go to the meat and meet 544 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:20,723 to meet anyone. 545 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,141 Romantically, that is. 546 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,936 Thing is, jasper was not the first of my husbands 547 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,938 -to succumb to a terrible fate. -I see. 548 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,940 My first love, donovan, froze to death. 549 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,900 In our freezer. He wasn't very bright. 550 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,485 The next two fell in holes. 551 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,487 And richard was in a plane crash, which he survived, 552 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:36,239 but then his friend kevin ate him. 553 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,073 Good lord. 554 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:38,825 Yeah. So you can see how 555 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,451 I've begun to think of myself as something of a curse. 556 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,537 And you seem like a good guy who does not deserve 557 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,705 to suffer a gruesome death because you went out with me. 558 00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,832 Wolf: A-greed! 559 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,208 -Wolf. -Love you, dad. 560 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,709 So, if you're out of the dating game, 561 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,294 why were you at a singles mixer? 562 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,088 I figured I might do some networking, 563 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:54,465 maybe meet someone who had a boat, find a job. 564 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,800 Well, I have a boat. 565 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,635 And I might be able to use some help 566 00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,554 on tuesdays and thursdays when my daughter works at the mall. 567 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,390 I'm afraid the red hot flames of our instant attraction 568 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,434 might make concentrating on the fish a little difficult. 569 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,727 Understood. 570 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,020 But maybe after a cooling-off period, 571 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,022 you could ask me again. 572 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,400 About the date or the job? 573 00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:13,526 Both. 574 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,861 This might be crazy, 575 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,487 but I think I'm team dell. 576 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,699 Hey, dad. I just wanted to say sorry. 577 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,075 For what? 578 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,160 I... I wanted you to find love again, 579 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,536 but you wound up getting hurt. 580 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,831 Maybe it is better just to... Not do stuff. 581 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,875 Even though I was rejected, 582 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,126 I-it was good to try again. 583 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,752 -You were right. -Oh, good. 584 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,714 So, then... So, then, you're good. 585 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,007 Good. 586 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,550 What's really bothering you, judes? 587 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,969 Do you think there's something in our nature-- 588 00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,554 I mean me and you-- 589 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,639 that makes us not want to put ourselves out there... 590 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,224 Like, for love? 591 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,893 Like, we get a little hair in our mouth one time 592 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,269 and then we're afraid 593 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,520 that we're always gonna get hair in our mouth. 594 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:50,980 You know what I mean? 595 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:52,440 Do you think there's something wrong with us? 596 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,566 Wrong with us? 597 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:54,901 Nah. We're great. 598 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,028 We're just also picky. And sensitive. 599 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,529 (laughs) and a little dramatic. 600 00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:01,365 And maybe watching me get hurt by your mom 601 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,868 made you a little nervous about relationships. 602 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,204 I mean, the year that you got all that hair in your teeth 603 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,706 -was the year that she... -Left. 604 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,208 Huh. I guess it was. 605 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:12,877 So maybe we both just got a little gun-shy. 606 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,253 And it's not surprising 607 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,339 that sometimes we need a little push. 608 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,925 Also, to be honest, it was a lot of hair, judy. 609 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,343 Like, a lot. 610 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,887 Dad, I think I need a little push. 611 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,347 Okay. 612 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,473 Can you snow machine me back to that bar? 613 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,183 -Right now? -Right now. 614 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,809 Sure. Why wouldn't I snow machine 615 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,019 my 16-year-old daughter 616 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,521 to a bar at 11:00 at night? 617 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,651 Dad, avert your eyes. 618 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,069 Hey, look. A truck. 619 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,695 Oh. Hey, judy. 620 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,739 Oh, hello, steven. 621 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,574 Um, the thing is, I didn't kiss you on the porch the other night 622 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,118 because I was afraid that your hair would end up in my mouth. 623 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,286 And it is a long story. 624 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,121 But I do still want to kiss you 625 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,249 if you still want to kiss me. 626 00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,668 I mean, warn me if the farts are starting again, 627 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,294 but yes. 628 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,548 ♪ ♪ 629 00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:03,469 ♪ all my girls know how this one goes ♪ 630 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,846 ♪ so many birds lookin' in your windows ♪ 631 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,224 ♪ don't give it away to a gull or pigeon ♪ 632 00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:10,518 ♪ your body is your own dominion ♪ 633 00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,561 ♪ don't let a grouse peek in your blouse ♪ 634 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,772 ♪ don't let a peacock down your knee socks ♪ 635 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,650 ♪ don't let a seagull look at your keyhole ♪ 636 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,152 ♪ I've met a lot of birds and they're all b-holes ♪ 637 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,280 ♪ eyes to yourself, timothy ♪ 638 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:24,573 ♪ keep your rooster crest out of my vest ♪ 639 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:27,118 ♪ I'm closing my blinds, go back to your nest. ♪ 640 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,119 captioning sponsored by bento box entertainment 641 00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,996 and toyota. 642 00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:32,623 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org