1 00:00:01,857 --> 00:00:04,215 -♪ Look up there ♪ -♪ What do you see? ♪ 2 00:00:04,217 --> 00:00:05,917 ♪ Nature and stuff ♪ 3 00:00:05,935 --> 00:00:07,027 -♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪ 4 00:00:07,220 --> 00:00:09,863 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 5 00:00:10,056 --> 00:00:13,441 ♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪ 6 00:00:13,577 --> 00:00:14,683 ♪ Catch some fish ♪ 7 00:00:14,745 --> 00:00:16,261 ♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪ 8 00:00:16,321 --> 00:00:17,520 ♪ Wow ♪ 9 00:00:17,581 --> 00:00:21,099 ♪ Oh, the Great North ♪ 10 00:00:21,117 --> 00:00:22,283 ♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:22,435 --> 00:00:23,951 ♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪ 12 00:00:24,046 --> 00:00:25,603 ♪ From longest night to longest day ♪ 13 00:00:25,622 --> 00:00:29,299 ♪ In the Great North. ♪ 14 00:00:34,114 --> 00:00:35,446 JUDY: Good morning, family. 15 00:00:35,507 --> 00:00:38,207 Or should I say, great morning, 16 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:40,042 because... (imitates fanfare) 17 00:00:40,103 --> 00:00:42,787 $56 worth of art supplies was recently donated to school, 18 00:00:42,847 --> 00:00:45,565 and I'm gonna ask Principal Gibbons to let me put together 19 00:00:45,716 --> 00:00:47,625 a group to paint a new mural over the old one 20 00:00:47,685 --> 00:00:49,811 -in the east hallway. -Oh, you mean the old mural 21 00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:52,072 of the whales with eyes that seem to follow you 22 00:00:52,265 --> 00:00:53,815 -wherever you go? -That's the one: 23 00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:55,133 Whales Watching. 24 00:00:55,151 --> 00:00:56,484 Ugh, it always gave me the creeps. 25 00:00:56,636 --> 00:00:57,985 Kept me out of trouble, though-- kind of hard 26 00:00:58,138 --> 00:00:59,728 to break the rules with those guys looking at you. 27 00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:01,806 It's practically screaming at me to paint over it. 28 00:01:01,825 --> 00:01:03,732 And, of course, I'll have my volunteers. 29 00:01:03,794 --> 00:01:05,768 But since it's my idea, it'll be my vision. 30 00:01:05,796 --> 00:01:07,736 Like how Jackson Pollock would sometimes have a friend 31 00:01:07,798 --> 00:01:09,923 throw some paint at a canvas while he took a nap, 32 00:01:10,074 --> 00:01:11,240 but it was still his painting. 33 00:01:11,259 --> 00:01:12,592 What are you gonna do for the mural? 34 00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:14,502 One idea is an abstract cubist rendering 35 00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:16,154 of the various emotions you feel 36 00:01:16,172 --> 00:01:17,822 when you stay home from school sick, and calling it: 37 00:01:17,882 --> 00:01:20,100 (chuckles): Cube for the Common Cold. 38 00:01:20,293 --> 00:01:21,993 Or Fingers Around the World, 39 00:01:22,053 --> 00:01:23,937 a mural of all the different fingers and finger styles 40 00:01:24,088 --> 00:01:25,605 -across the world. -Do both. 41 00:01:25,774 --> 00:01:27,923 Like when I can't decide between a bath or a shower, 42 00:01:27,943 --> 00:01:29,109 I call it a "shath." 43 00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:31,093 This will be the world's first chance 44 00:01:31,113 --> 00:01:32,445 to meet Judy Tobin, the artist. 45 00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:34,339 And it'll surely be the first stop 46 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,342 on the eventual Historic Judy Tobin Art Tour. 47 00:01:37,402 --> 00:01:38,934 I'd buy a ticket right now if I could. 48 00:01:38,954 --> 00:01:41,788 As well as some "merc" from the mercantile stand. 49 00:01:41,981 --> 00:01:44,849 Whew! I am stewing in creative juices, 50 00:01:44,909 --> 00:01:47,702 -and I need to go put on deodorant. -Dad, 51 00:01:47,854 --> 00:01:49,295 did you read the Lone Moose Mischief Report today? 52 00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:50,872 -The what? -Lone Moose Mischief. 53 00:01:51,024 --> 00:01:52,465 It's the section of the newspaper that reports 54 00:01:52,617 --> 00:01:54,542 all the crimes that have happened in town the past week. 55 00:01:54,694 --> 00:01:57,044 -It names names and everything. -That could cause a lot of trouble. 56 00:01:57,139 --> 00:01:59,864 It doesn't. No one reads it but these two knuckleheads. 57 00:01:59,883 --> 00:02:02,809 The people of Lone Moose respect each other's privacy. 58 00:02:02,978 --> 00:02:06,037 If someone wants to commit a crime, that's their business. 59 00:02:06,097 --> 00:02:08,039 It's interesting you would say that, Father, 60 00:02:08,141 --> 00:02:09,874 considering what I just read. 61 00:02:09,976 --> 00:02:12,543 Ahem. "This weekend, someone knocked down 62 00:02:12,562 --> 00:02:15,822 "Vera Warren's British chimney sweep garden gnome. 63 00:02:15,973 --> 00:02:18,216 A single boot was left on her lawn." 64 00:02:18,276 --> 00:02:20,902 Oh, that's one of the most famous garden gnomes in town. 65 00:02:21,054 --> 00:02:23,479 When you press a button on it, it says, "'Ello, gardener." 66 00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:25,648 "Vera believes the boot belongs to... 67 00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:27,500 -Beef Tobin." -Whoa! -(gasps) 68 00:02:27,652 --> 00:02:29,727 Dad, did you knock over Vera's British chimney sweep 69 00:02:29,787 --> 00:02:31,838 "'Ello, gardener" garden gnome and leave your boot 70 00:02:31,989 --> 00:02:34,156 -as a calling card? -Of course I didn't. 71 00:02:34,217 --> 00:02:36,901 -Both of my boots are on my feet. -Dad, 72 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,661 if you didn't do it, you're being falsely accused. 73 00:02:38,722 --> 00:02:40,755 This is the family name we're talking about-- 74 00:02:40,907 --> 00:02:43,074 our second most valuable possession after the generator. 75 00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:44,500 There's only one thing to do: 76 00:02:44,519 --> 00:02:46,077 run our own independent investigation 77 00:02:46,137 --> 00:02:47,503 and clear your name. 78 00:02:47,606 --> 00:02:50,190 I watch CSI, NCIS, SVU and M-O-N-K. 79 00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,066 So I'm pretty much trained to lead you 80 00:02:52,218 --> 00:02:54,343 in a criminal detective case, if you'll have me. 81 00:02:54,404 --> 00:02:55,678 With those credentials? 82 00:02:55,739 --> 00:02:57,588 Huh, we'd be fools to say no. 83 00:02:57,649 --> 00:03:00,107 -This is highly unnecessary. -Objection! 84 00:03:00,285 --> 00:03:02,109 Sorry, I also watch L.A. Law, Chicago Law, 85 00:03:02,245 --> 00:03:06,873 and The Baking Lawyer: "The court, and the cake, will rise." 86 00:03:07,066 --> 00:03:08,266 JUDY: Principal Gibbons, 87 00:03:08,326 --> 00:03:09,542 I have a small speech prepared, 88 00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,044 requesting permission to spearhead 89 00:03:11,213 --> 00:03:13,271 an after-school program to paint a new mural 90 00:03:13,289 --> 00:03:15,698 over Whales Watching. Here goes. (clears throat) 91 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,217 "Principal Gibbons, thank you..." 92 00:03:17,368 --> 00:03:19,944 -Permission granted. -Hey, hear me out! Wait, really? 93 00:03:20,004 --> 00:03:22,037 I've been meaning to pay someone to do it, 94 00:03:22,057 --> 00:03:23,948 but this is much better-- you'll just need an adult 95 00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:26,133 to supervise you after school hours. 96 00:03:26,286 --> 00:03:28,619 -Ooh, I know the perfect person. -Oh, no, Judy, 97 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,472 I am flattered, but I simply do not have the time. 98 00:03:31,608 --> 00:03:33,474 I work 8:00 to 4:00, then 4:00 to 6:00 99 00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:35,293 I talk to my aunt in Oklahoma. 100 00:03:35,311 --> 00:03:37,645 It's the only window that works with both of our time zones. 101 00:03:37,797 --> 00:03:38,905 Oh, no. Darn. 102 00:03:39,056 --> 00:03:41,274 I guess I'll have to ask someone else. 103 00:03:41,468 --> 00:03:42,408 ALYSON: Are you kidding? 104 00:03:42,577 --> 00:03:44,302 Count this Alys-on Alys-in. 105 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,653 Really? Thank you! 106 00:03:45,805 --> 00:03:47,638 Well, I'm something of a mural queen myself. 107 00:03:47,699 --> 00:03:49,415 Lance, an old friend of mine, once painted me 108 00:03:49,608 --> 00:03:52,143 on the side of a van, wearing a metal bikini, riding a dragon. 109 00:03:52,245 --> 00:03:54,645 The van caught on fire while being chased by the Feds. 110 00:03:54,706 --> 00:03:56,814 Lance got 15 years, no parole. 111 00:03:56,874 --> 00:03:58,907 But don't judge him from that. He's a good guy. 112 00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:00,985 What were we talking about, Judy? 113 00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:03,988 Good afternoon, ma'am. Detective Honeybee Shaw. 114 00:04:04,048 --> 00:04:05,506 These are my associates, Moon and Wolf. 115 00:04:05,642 --> 00:04:07,100 I know who they are. Their mother Kathleen 116 00:04:07,251 --> 00:04:08,826 used to fart on my gardenias. 117 00:04:08,886 --> 00:04:10,995 I'd like you to walk us through what happened the day 118 00:04:11,014 --> 00:04:12,680 of the knocked-over British chimney sweep garden gnome 119 00:04:12,832 --> 00:04:14,774 -that says, "'Ello, gardener." -It was last Salad Friday. 120 00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:16,258 Salad Friday? 121 00:04:16,486 --> 00:04:19,445 Junkyard Kyle comes over every Friday, and we have salad. 122 00:04:19,597 --> 00:04:22,949 When she arrived, she asked why there was some boot on my lawn, 123 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,768 and that's when I discovered that someone had kicked over 124 00:04:25,829 --> 00:04:28,604 my British chimney sweep garden gnome. 125 00:04:28,707 --> 00:04:30,957 We read that you think the boot belonged to our dad. 126 00:04:31,108 --> 00:04:33,275 -Why is that? -It was a Husky Buck brand boot, 127 00:04:33,378 --> 00:04:34,794 and Beef wears Husky Bucks. 128 00:04:34,945 --> 00:04:37,780 Plus, he's a known trespasser on my property. 129 00:04:38,842 --> 00:04:41,116 Look at those disgusting sled tracks! 130 00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:43,694 I'll never forget this, Beef Tobin! 131 00:04:43,713 --> 00:04:45,638 And I never forgot it. Police took the boot 132 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:48,141 for evidence, but I'll show you where it was. 133 00:04:48,334 --> 00:04:50,977 Look. There's still a footprint in the snow. 134 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:53,037 But it looks too big to be Dad's. 135 00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:55,631 Here, compare it to my boot. Me and Dad wear the same size. 136 00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,375 It's like we're twins, except he's my dad. 137 00:04:57,393 --> 00:04:59,134 MOON: The print is too big. 138 00:04:59,195 --> 00:05:01,212 This proves Beef is innocent. But in order to clear his name, 139 00:05:01,272 --> 00:05:02,822 we need to find out who is guilty. 140 00:05:03,015 --> 00:05:04,882 We've only got one eyewitness. I'll handle him. 141 00:05:04,942 --> 00:05:06,475 I know how to push his buttons. 142 00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:08,143 -(click) -GNOME: 'Ello, gardener. 143 00:05:08,204 --> 00:05:09,737 Oh, yeah, that is delightful! 144 00:05:09,873 --> 00:05:11,980 -Who's our next source? -Well, there's only one person 145 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,649 in town who really loves feet. 146 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:15,651 He's a perv-- we shouldn't talk to him. 147 00:05:15,712 --> 00:05:18,171 But there's another person in town who loves shoes. 148 00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:20,173 Let's go talk to him. 149 00:05:20,342 --> 00:05:21,674 Mural time! 150 00:05:21,867 --> 00:05:24,493 And wow-za, look at this turnout! 151 00:05:24,512 --> 00:05:26,904 I only joined this club so that I could storm out. 152 00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:27,905 Here I go! 153 00:05:27,965 --> 00:05:29,073 JUDY: Okay. Bye, John. 154 00:05:29,092 --> 00:05:30,833 I want to thank you all 155 00:05:30,894 --> 00:05:33,744 for volunteering to be here to help me birth my artistic child, 156 00:05:33,805 --> 00:05:36,522 and I'm refusing the epidural, because I want to feel 157 00:05:36,674 --> 00:05:38,024 when this thing crowns. 158 00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:40,768 Hello, everyone. Your first lesson about art is: 159 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,587 Art isn't about what you see; 160 00:05:42,647 --> 00:05:45,089 it's about what's going on underneath. 161 00:05:45,108 --> 00:05:46,607 I think she's talking about that tiny hat. 162 00:05:46,743 --> 00:05:48,368 Should we go start prepping the wall? 163 00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:50,111 Not so fast, Judy. We don't even know 164 00:05:50,263 --> 00:05:52,430 -what we're going to paint yet. -Well, I have a few ideas. 165 00:05:52,448 --> 00:05:54,115 Judy, Judy, we'll get to it. 166 00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,358 But first I'd like to run through a series of exercises 167 00:05:56,494 --> 00:05:59,212 to see what we'd like to scream to the world. 168 00:05:59,405 --> 00:06:02,865 To begin, each student will answer one important question. 169 00:06:02,926 --> 00:06:04,942 What do you think when I say "art"? 170 00:06:04,961 --> 00:06:07,278 -Peanut butter. -That's my breath. Try again. 171 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:09,797 WOLF: Greg's got everyone's shoe size in town memorized. 172 00:06:09,949 --> 00:06:11,949 -Foot-ographic memory. -GREG: Hey, six wide. 173 00:06:12,009 --> 00:06:14,060 Ten. And... 174 00:06:14,211 --> 00:06:15,803 I'm eight and a half narrow. Nice to meet you. 175 00:06:15,939 --> 00:06:17,897 Greg, do you think you can identify a shoe 176 00:06:18,048 --> 00:06:19,624 -by its footprint? -Husky Buck boot, 177 00:06:19,684 --> 00:06:21,308 Fall/Winter collection, size 12. 178 00:06:21,461 --> 00:06:24,128 Wow! Would you happen to know who bought this boot? 179 00:06:24,188 --> 00:06:25,179 Your dad, just last week. 180 00:06:25,331 --> 00:06:26,555 No! Doo doo McGoo! 181 00:06:26,574 --> 00:06:28,315 You know everyone's shoe size in town. 182 00:06:28,468 --> 00:06:30,635 Why would you sell him a pair of boots you knew wouldn't fit? 183 00:06:30,653 --> 00:06:32,245 Were you setting him up? You like kicking over 184 00:06:32,438 --> 00:06:34,414 old ladies' British chimney sweep garden gnomes, Greg? 185 00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:36,398 -You sick bitch? -I thought they were a gift! 186 00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:37,992 I know his feet, not his life. 187 00:06:38,144 --> 00:06:39,310 Okay, you're in the clear. 188 00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:40,645 We cracked this Greg, 189 00:06:40,705 --> 00:06:42,422 but the truth is gonna be hard-boiled. 190 00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:45,483 Please don't make egg puns out of my name. It's hurtful. 191 00:06:45,585 --> 00:06:48,243 -(screaming) -ALYSON: Yes! Scream at the world 192 00:06:48,346 --> 00:06:49,244 for its injustices! 193 00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:50,763 And... time. 194 00:06:50,915 --> 00:06:53,099 Great screaming. Now, let's try yelling. 195 00:06:53,292 --> 00:06:55,342 (groans) Can't we just get to the paint already? 196 00:06:55,495 --> 00:06:57,161 Sorry I had to leave right in the middle of that-- the button 197 00:06:57,221 --> 00:06:58,938 on my pants popped off while we were rolling around, 198 00:06:59,131 --> 00:07:00,440 and now they keep sliding down. 199 00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:01,974 I'm not trying to be sexy or anything. 200 00:07:02,126 --> 00:07:03,592 There are belted pads in the girls' bathroom 201 00:07:03,611 --> 00:07:04,944 that might help hold 'em up. I can grab you one. 202 00:07:05,137 --> 00:07:06,779 Belted pads? Didn't we burn those 203 00:07:06,931 --> 00:07:08,339 with the bras in the '70s? 204 00:07:08,357 --> 00:07:10,116 -What's a belted pad? -It's the only kind 205 00:07:10,309 --> 00:07:12,285 of sanitary product in the bathroom dispensers. 206 00:07:12,478 --> 00:07:15,121 Picture a twin mattress attached to a jockstrap. 207 00:07:15,272 --> 00:07:17,348 You know those swing rides at the amusement park? 208 00:07:17,408 --> 00:07:19,775 Now imagine getting off the ride and still wearing that swing 209 00:07:19,836 --> 00:07:21,852 -for the rest of the day. -I asked Principal Gibbons 210 00:07:21,913 --> 00:07:23,779 if we could get regular pads and tampons, 211 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,873 but he said there wasn't room in the budget. 212 00:07:26,009 --> 00:07:27,800 This is an outrage. Everyone, up. 213 00:07:27,993 --> 00:07:30,878 Join hands! I'm feeling a surge of inspiration! 214 00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:32,805 Up-to-date menstrual products are a basic necessity, 215 00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:34,699 and how better to demand them 216 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,476 than with a gigantic wall painting? 217 00:07:36,669 --> 00:07:37,868 I can already see it. 218 00:07:37,929 --> 00:07:39,645 We'll paint a giant, angry woman. 219 00:07:39,797 --> 00:07:41,981 Uh, actually, I already planned that it would be a cube, 220 00:07:42,174 --> 00:07:43,632 or fingers, so... 221 00:07:43,651 --> 00:07:44,892 Oh, you're right, it's too safe. 222 00:07:45,044 --> 00:07:46,711 It should be giant, angry vagina. 223 00:07:46,729 --> 00:07:49,304 -Ooh! And what about a huge, red river? -Oh, uh... 224 00:07:49,365 --> 00:07:51,306 Yes, Kima! With boats! Filled with women! 225 00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:53,475 -Uh... -And animals? Like Noah's Ark? 226 00:07:53,578 --> 00:07:54,885 -JUDY: Uh... -No. 227 00:07:54,946 --> 00:07:56,812 -Noah's Arkette! -I love this. 228 00:07:56,873 --> 00:07:58,723 Stop! Stop it! Stop! 229 00:07:58,741 --> 00:08:00,224 I mean, I love the idea, I do. 230 00:08:00,243 --> 00:08:02,059 I just, we can just do it as our next mural 231 00:08:02,119 --> 00:08:04,395 after we finish one of the ones I've been dreaming of. 232 00:08:04,455 --> 00:08:06,154 Ham, what do you think? 233 00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:08,674 I think when women's issues are on the table, 234 00:08:08,826 --> 00:08:12,403 it's time for men to sit quietly down at that table and listen. 235 00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:14,013 You taught me that, Judy. 236 00:08:14,164 --> 00:08:16,498 Ugh! I totally agree that we need updated products, but... 237 00:08:16,559 --> 00:08:18,743 this mural is a debut of who I-- 238 00:08:18,844 --> 00:08:21,670 I mean we-- are as artists. You know? 239 00:08:21,731 --> 00:08:23,097 Judy, I agree. 240 00:08:23,249 --> 00:08:24,673 We got to go bigger. 241 00:08:24,859 --> 00:08:27,777 Maybe all the animals get their own, little vaginas. Cute! 242 00:08:31,407 --> 00:08:33,348 Hey, Judy. You got 20 till I got to get on the horn with my aunt. 243 00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:36,351 They changed the price on her peppermint nighttime tea bags, 244 00:08:36,412 --> 00:08:38,687 (chuckles): so it's gonna be a sesh. 245 00:08:38,706 --> 00:08:40,765 I just wanted to run a quick mural idea past you. 246 00:08:40,825 --> 00:08:42,767 I love it... (chuckles) 247 00:08:42,827 --> 00:08:44,602 but I don't think you're going to approve. 248 00:08:44,662 --> 00:08:46,620 -Try me. -Okay. It's a protest piece 249 00:08:46,773 --> 00:08:48,439 against those belted pads in the women's bathroom. 250 00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:50,550 It's going to be a huge vagina... 251 00:08:50,701 --> 00:08:51,942 Let me stop you right there, Judy. 252 00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:53,553 You know I hate saying this word, but: 253 00:08:53,746 --> 00:08:56,538 No, we can't have a huge vagina on the wall. 254 00:08:56,558 --> 00:08:58,373 Aw, shucks. Well, what about a mural 255 00:08:58,393 --> 00:09:00,560 of all the different fingers and finger styles across the world? 256 00:09:00,753 --> 00:09:02,728 -Fingers are fun. -Ha-ha-ha! Great! 257 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,713 So fingers are in and vaginas are out. 258 00:09:04,774 --> 00:09:07,474 I don't like the way you said that, but yes. 259 00:09:07,627 --> 00:09:09,310 Guys, bad news. Principal Gibbons accidentally found out 260 00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:12,071 about the protest mural and said we absolutely can't do it. 261 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,557 So I guess let's just move on to other ideas, such as, uh, 262 00:09:15,618 --> 00:09:17,910 -when you take a sick day... -Judy, stop! 263 00:09:18,103 --> 00:09:19,970 I knew this would happen. But, you know, 264 00:09:20,072 --> 00:09:21,914 real artists ask for forgiveness, not permission. 265 00:09:22,107 --> 00:09:24,475 -So we should still do it. -That's right! 266 00:09:24,535 --> 00:09:26,660 We can't let the Man tear us down! 267 00:09:26,813 --> 00:09:28,646 Yes. Let the gates of chaos open 268 00:09:28,706 --> 00:09:30,405 and blood rain down, or whatever. 269 00:09:30,508 --> 00:09:32,240 Or maybe we can make an even bigger statement 270 00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,409 by not making a statement at all? 271 00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:37,412 -Ham, what do you think? -I think when women's issues are on the table... 272 00:09:37,473 --> 00:09:40,641 Stop listening to women, Ham! What do we know? 273 00:09:43,146 --> 00:09:46,831 -Nice of you to join us, Beef. -What's happening? 274 00:09:46,932 --> 00:09:49,091 We're gonna give you one chance to tell us the truth. 275 00:09:49,152 --> 00:09:51,259 Okay, fine. The pipes technically can handle 276 00:09:51,279 --> 00:09:53,446 two-ply toilet paper, I just don't like it. 277 00:09:53,639 --> 00:09:55,840 Feels like I'm wiping my butt with a blanket! 278 00:09:55,858 --> 00:09:57,617 This is about the boot on Old Lady Vera's lawn. 279 00:09:57,810 --> 00:10:00,177 We know it was you. You're the only person in town 280 00:10:00,196 --> 00:10:01,679 who bought size 12 Husky Bucks. 281 00:10:01,697 --> 00:10:03,438 That was an accident. I thought it said ten. 282 00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,958 I want to believe you, Beef. But why not return the shoes? 283 00:10:06,151 --> 00:10:08,702 Why keep them, other than to use them to commit a crime 284 00:10:08,855 --> 00:10:10,704 and give yourself an alibi? You like knockin' over 285 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,040 old ladies' British chimney sweep garden gnomes, Beef? 286 00:10:13,176 --> 00:10:15,450 -Huh? You sick bitch? -No, I don't. 287 00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:17,695 But I don't make returns. Returning a purchase 288 00:10:17,755 --> 00:10:20,030 is like bringing an omelet back to a hen. 289 00:10:20,049 --> 00:10:22,624 She has no use for it, and you look like a fool. 290 00:10:22,685 --> 00:10:25,460 The boots are in my closet. I'll show you. 291 00:10:25,521 --> 00:10:27,129 Wait. One boot? 292 00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:29,223 -(gasps) -Scoundrel! -We caught you red-footed! 293 00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,208 -They should both be in here. -Looks like they come 294 00:10:31,268 --> 00:10:34,153 in your size after all, Beef: size guilty. 295 00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:35,713 Yeah, you sick bitch! 296 00:10:35,773 --> 00:10:37,715 Sorry, sorry, sorry. I thought I'd try it, 297 00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:39,550 but I didn't like it. Love you, Dad. 298 00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:41,218 Oof, Judy, what happened? 299 00:10:41,237 --> 00:10:42,569 You look like it rained on your wedding day. 300 00:10:42,705 --> 00:10:44,571 How many times have you used that line? 301 00:10:44,724 --> 00:10:46,557 I've nev... I've never used that line before. 302 00:10:46,617 --> 00:10:48,275 It's just, I was super pumped to do this mural 303 00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:50,060 and make my first artistic mark on the world, 304 00:10:50,121 --> 00:10:51,504 but now everyone wants to turn the mural 305 00:10:51,697 --> 00:10:53,339 into this big protest piece. 306 00:10:53,490 --> 00:10:55,341 -And what's wrong with that? -I know Alyson said 307 00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:57,159 real artists hold up mirrors to society 308 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,269 so that they can see their own disgusting faces, 309 00:10:59,338 --> 00:11:02,072 but just because I wanted to do the common cold or fingers, 310 00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:03,908 does that mean I'm not a real artist? 311 00:11:04,009 --> 00:11:06,593 Am I just some sort of, like, square who likes to paint? 312 00:11:06,746 --> 00:11:08,245 Look, Judy, I've been through what you're going through 313 00:11:08,305 --> 00:11:11,415 in a magical and terrible time known as the '90s. 314 00:11:11,475 --> 00:11:14,176 I wasn't a pope-shreddingly edgy artist like Sinéad O'Connor, 315 00:11:14,278 --> 00:11:16,011 but I wasn't a human cat café 316 00:11:16,072 --> 00:11:18,105 -like Lisa Loeb, either. -So what were you? 317 00:11:18,257 --> 00:11:19,423 (laughs): Richer than both of them. 318 00:11:19,442 --> 00:11:20,866 But also, I was just me. 319 00:11:21,018 --> 00:11:23,185 Good art, bad art, real artist, commercial artist, 320 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,537 none of that really matters. 321 00:11:24,706 --> 00:11:26,372 What matters is that you stay true to you. 322 00:11:26,523 --> 00:11:28,708 So go back in there tomorrow and Jude up the joint. 323 00:11:28,901 --> 00:11:30,525 -"Jude up the joint"? -Yeah. 324 00:11:30,545 --> 00:11:32,194 Maybe you can't get your whole idea in there, 325 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,863 but you could throw in a cube or toss in some fingers. 326 00:11:34,924 --> 00:11:36,941 Oh, I hear you. Thanks, Alanis. 327 00:11:37,042 --> 00:11:38,943 Rock on with your socks on. 328 00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:41,220 "Rock on with your socks on." Oof. 329 00:11:41,413 --> 00:11:43,872 -Maybe you are kind of a square. -I heard that! 330 00:11:43,933 --> 00:11:46,392 I, for one, believe you. You're the best guy I know. 331 00:11:46,543 --> 00:11:48,118 And I know like, 18 guys. 332 00:11:48,179 --> 00:11:50,971 Dad, it doesn't matter if you did or didn't do it. 333 00:11:51,123 --> 00:11:52,973 If the people in this town think you're a criminal, 334 00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:54,625 they'll start treating you like one. 335 00:11:54,643 --> 00:11:56,293 That won't happen, son. 336 00:11:56,353 --> 00:11:58,462 I've lived here my whole life. These are my friends. 337 00:11:58,481 --> 00:12:00,798 He's right, Beef. I've seen it before, in Fresno. 338 00:12:00,858 --> 00:12:02,891 Charlie was everybody's favorite lifeguard, 339 00:12:02,910 --> 00:12:04,577 until he was involved in a neighborly dispute. 340 00:12:04,728 --> 00:12:06,971 Then, he couldn't even show his face at the community pool. 341 00:12:06,989 --> 00:12:09,640 -Really? What was the dispute? -Oh, he drowned a guy. 342 00:12:09,742 --> 00:12:11,158 JUDY: So, is this really 343 00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:12,977 what we want to do, or is it too obvious? 344 00:12:13,078 --> 00:12:14,903 Obvious? What do you mean? 345 00:12:14,922 --> 00:12:16,238 Maybe instead of being so literal, 346 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:18,073 the mural could be more metaphorical? 347 00:12:18,134 --> 00:12:20,760 Like, a clam or a bunch of women excelling in the world 348 00:12:20,953 --> 00:12:23,003 of business, looking at their watches, 349 00:12:23,155 --> 00:12:25,005 refilling the toner, heads held high. 350 00:12:25,141 --> 00:12:27,415 -Their vaginas are implied. Hmm? -Hey, there, students. 351 00:12:27,435 --> 00:12:29,493 Superintendent Sandy Flarts was so excited 352 00:12:29,553 --> 00:12:32,605 about the groovy finger mural, she stopped by to check it out. 353 00:12:32,774 --> 00:12:34,999 I love fingers, especially thumbs. 354 00:12:35,059 --> 00:12:38,110 (gasps) Does that say, "Huge vagina goes here"? 355 00:12:38,303 --> 00:12:40,838 -Um... -Judy, we talked about this. 356 00:12:40,856 --> 00:12:42,673 This mural is not the appropriate venue 357 00:12:42,775 --> 00:12:45,843 to protest your lack of access to feminine hygiene products. 358 00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:48,679 Lack of access? There are belted pads available. 359 00:12:48,739 --> 00:12:50,605 Yeah, but they're dusty and outdated. 360 00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:52,850 They are vintage and classic. This is totally unacceptable. 361 00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:55,944 -And what authority do you have? -I'm the superintendent. 362 00:12:55,963 --> 00:12:58,022 Well, I work at the mall. 363 00:12:58,082 --> 00:13:00,190 I say we continue on against this oppression. 364 00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:01,950 Or we could just go back to the fingers. 365 00:13:02,011 --> 00:13:04,452 No. T-There is to be no mural painting at all. 366 00:13:04,472 --> 00:13:06,806 Obviously, none of you can be trusted. 367 00:13:06,974 --> 00:13:08,957 -Ah, bummer. -At least we know we tried. 368 00:13:09,018 --> 00:13:11,126 Tried? I started this club. 369 00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:12,812 I lobbied for the art supplies. 370 00:13:13,005 --> 00:13:15,648 This mural was my idea, my dream. 371 00:13:15,841 --> 00:13:17,299 And then you guys had to make it your idea. 372 00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,209 And I tried to get on board, but now I don't even get 373 00:13:19,311 --> 00:13:21,636 to paint anything, not even your big Arkette 374 00:13:21,697 --> 00:13:24,882 with animals sailing in it or whatever they're doing in there, 375 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,383 and I'm the only one who even cares? 376 00:13:26,402 --> 00:13:28,402 Oh, geez. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 377 00:13:28,554 --> 00:13:31,055 That we accidentally took a huge opportunity away from Judy, 378 00:13:31,115 --> 00:13:32,998 and now we really upset her? 379 00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:35,650 Oh. I was thinking that I would look amazing in a Jeep. 380 00:13:35,711 --> 00:13:37,169 But you make a good point. 381 00:13:37,321 --> 00:13:38,754 Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point, too, Gill. 382 00:13:43,035 --> 00:13:44,993 Oh. This was my thing. Stupid art. 383 00:13:45,012 --> 00:13:47,071 This is your fault, belted pads. 384 00:13:47,131 --> 00:13:49,740 "See-nih yuhlimaf stralf"? 385 00:13:49,842 --> 00:13:50,741 (gasps) 386 00:13:50,801 --> 00:13:52,926 "Flarts Family, Inc."? 387 00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:54,428 "Flarts" as in Sandy Flarts? 388 00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:56,188 ♪ Bum, bum, bum. ♪ 389 00:13:56,381 --> 00:13:59,174 Time to air-dry these fingers and tickle the computer ivories. 390 00:13:59,277 --> 00:14:02,152 ♪ ♪ 391 00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:06,256 ♪ Work it just a little bit... 392 00:14:06,317 --> 00:14:07,992 "Alexandra"? 393 00:14:09,186 --> 00:14:11,261 ♪ Get back... ♪ 394 00:14:11,322 --> 00:14:13,764 Singles in my area? Interesting. 395 00:14:13,782 --> 00:14:15,833 Oh, no, no. Not now. Focus up. 396 00:14:18,329 --> 00:14:20,045 "Belted pads no longer holding up." 397 00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:22,030 "Backstock to flow into schools." 398 00:14:22,091 --> 00:14:24,366 -I know what I must do. -What? 399 00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:26,201 Oh, nothing. It's just some p-pads. 400 00:14:26,262 --> 00:14:27,535 Never mind. 401 00:14:27,597 --> 00:14:29,113 BEEF: Alaska aloha to you, 402 00:14:29,223 --> 00:14:30,723 Junkyard Kyle. 403 00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:33,726 I have those rusty razors that we were planning to... 404 00:14:33,877 --> 00:14:34,894 Are you avoiding me, Kyle? 405 00:14:35,087 --> 00:14:36,729 What? No, that's crazy. 406 00:14:36,922 --> 00:14:39,123 -I'm just very busy right now. -Oh. 407 00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:40,232 Okay, with what? 408 00:14:40,425 --> 00:14:42,142 Well, I'm at the dentist. 409 00:14:42,294 --> 00:14:43,794 No, you're not. You're right here. 410 00:14:43,812 --> 00:14:45,237 -I just came to drop off... -Wish I could take 'em, 411 00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:47,722 but, uh, we're closed, so get out of here, okay? 412 00:14:47,783 --> 00:14:49,575 Oh, no, dang, you're closed? 413 00:14:49,768 --> 00:14:51,168 Uh, yes, we are closed. 414 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:52,894 We aren't really closed, I'm just avoiding Beef. 415 00:14:52,955 --> 00:14:55,748 Come over here, let me show you my closed sign. 416 00:14:55,941 --> 00:14:58,158 Guys, we've almost solved the case. 417 00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:01,311 And the only thing we don't know is who did it or why. 418 00:15:01,372 --> 00:15:03,571 Guys, turns out I need you to clear my name after all. 419 00:15:03,674 --> 00:15:05,999 You were right. People are treating me differently. 420 00:15:06,135 --> 00:15:09,411 Junkyard Kyle wouldn't even let me in her junkyard today. 421 00:15:09,472 --> 00:15:11,430 Kyle, huh? The same Kyle 422 00:15:11,581 --> 00:15:13,173 who was actually at Vera's when the boot was discovered? 423 00:15:13,325 --> 00:15:16,160 And who, in fact, discovered it? And now she's avoiding you? 424 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,604 What exactly is the nature of your relationship? 425 00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,255 Well, I give Kyle my used razors. 426 00:15:20,316 --> 00:15:21,941 She came over to pick them up on Friday, 427 00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:24,109 but she left while I was getting them from the bathroom. 428 00:15:24,302 --> 00:15:26,094 So let me get this straight. She left abruptly, 429 00:15:26,155 --> 00:15:28,338 without a word, from this house, this past Friday? 430 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,174 -You know what I think? -I wish, babe, 431 00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:32,009 but the mystery corners of your beautiful mind 432 00:15:32,069 --> 00:15:34,178 will keep me guessing till the day I die. 433 00:15:34,279 --> 00:15:36,513 We got to go talk to Junkyard Kyle, then get down 434 00:15:36,573 --> 00:15:37,772 to the Lone Moose Mischief 435 00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:40,184 to get ourselves some Lone Moose justice. 436 00:15:40,244 --> 00:15:42,110 JUDY: Thank you all for coming. 437 00:15:42,171 --> 00:15:43,687 I know I kind of yelled at you earlier about taking my mural 438 00:15:43,706 --> 00:15:45,297 away from me, but everything is different now. 439 00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:47,949 I found out Sandy Flarts isn't just the superintendent. 440 00:15:47,969 --> 00:15:52,212 -She's also the heiress to Flarts Family, Inc. -(gasps) 441 00:15:52,364 --> 00:15:54,807 Oh, no. She's spreading herself too thin. 442 00:15:54,976 --> 00:15:56,458 Flarts Family, Inc. is the company that makes 443 00:15:56,519 --> 00:15:58,460 those belted pads in the girls' bathroom. 444 00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:00,479 They took a huge hit in the '70s when self-adhesive pads 445 00:16:00,672 --> 00:16:02,372 were invented, and instead of modernizing, 446 00:16:02,474 --> 00:16:03,890 which would have cost them money, they found places 447 00:16:04,043 --> 00:16:05,300 who would still buy their product, 448 00:16:05,361 --> 00:16:07,377 like DMVs and zoos and public schools. 449 00:16:07,438 --> 00:16:08,803 That's why she didn't like our mural. 450 00:16:08,823 --> 00:16:10,714 It messes with her fortune. 451 00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:13,475 -That's corrupt. -It's literally the definition of corrupt. 452 00:16:13,577 --> 00:16:16,311 As I discovered earlier when I looked it up. 453 00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:19,147 This is bigger than my idea or your idea. 454 00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:21,408 Art itself is being threatened. 455 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,744 We must protect it from being silenced by corporate greed. 456 00:16:23,879 --> 00:16:25,412 So the mural is back on? 457 00:16:25,564 --> 00:16:27,673 Sort of. Sandy explicitly said that we weren't allowed 458 00:16:27,866 --> 00:16:30,509 to paint the mural, but she never said anything 459 00:16:30,702 --> 00:16:32,886 about being the mural. 460 00:16:37,076 --> 00:16:38,575 A retraction, huh? (scoffs) 461 00:16:38,635 --> 00:16:39,910 Retractions are for people who get things wrong. 462 00:16:39,928 --> 00:16:41,669 I never get things wrong. 463 00:16:41,689 --> 00:16:43,838 You did this time. Last week, you reported that Beef left 464 00:16:43,858 --> 00:16:47,359 his boot on Vera's property, but that's not what happened. 465 00:16:47,511 --> 00:16:50,103 You see, Kyle and Vera have a longstanding tradition 466 00:16:50,239 --> 00:16:52,589 -they call... -Salad Fridays. 467 00:16:52,608 --> 00:16:54,199 It's my business to know everyone's business. 468 00:16:54,351 --> 00:16:56,851 Right, and they always have Salad Friday's at Vera's. 469 00:16:56,871 --> 00:16:59,705 And that was always okay with Kyle, until it wasn't. 470 00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:01,689 Last week, she made the bold move of suggesting 471 00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,691 to Vera that they have salad at the junkyard, 472 00:17:03,827 --> 00:17:06,027 but Vera turned her down. 473 00:17:06,088 --> 00:17:07,604 Said she wouldn't be able to gum her romaine in peace 474 00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:08,696 surrounded by all my junk. 475 00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:10,274 That hurt my feelings. 476 00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:11,608 She stopped over at Beef's on the way to Vera's 477 00:17:11,668 --> 00:17:13,627 to get his used razors. 478 00:17:13,779 --> 00:17:15,445 But when he went to retrieve them, she saw a brand-new pair 479 00:17:15,506 --> 00:17:18,115 of boots just sitting there on the counter. 480 00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:20,041 -And she got an idea. -He said they were too big. 481 00:17:20,144 --> 00:17:22,210 He was just gonna shove them in the closet. 482 00:17:22,313 --> 00:17:24,413 Her plan? She was gonna toss the boot on Vera's yard 483 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,457 and then be like, "Ugh, Vera, who owns a junkyard now? 484 00:17:27,518 --> 00:17:30,127 You do, 'cause there's actual junk in your yard." 485 00:17:30,187 --> 00:17:31,737 Next thing she knew, like a woman possessed, 486 00:17:31,930 --> 00:17:34,239 she was walking up to Vera's, boot in hand. 487 00:17:34,408 --> 00:17:38,243 But her plan had two major flaws: one, she has bad aim. 488 00:17:38,412 --> 00:17:40,470 GNOME: 'Ello, gardener. 489 00:17:40,531 --> 00:17:41,805 Oh, big baby Jesse. 490 00:17:41,907 --> 00:17:43,640 And two, she didn't know that Vera 491 00:17:43,742 --> 00:17:45,417 already had beef with Beef. 492 00:17:45,569 --> 00:17:47,811 It was a sledding incident, over 30 years ago. 493 00:17:47,871 --> 00:17:50,905 The way that woman holds a grudge is a thing of beauty. 494 00:17:50,966 --> 00:17:52,925 That's why I turned you away at the junkyard. 495 00:17:53,118 --> 00:17:55,986 I just couldn't face what I'd done. 496 00:17:56,004 --> 00:17:57,262 Well, this is a first. 497 00:17:57,414 --> 00:17:58,931 It looks like a retraction is in order. 498 00:17:59,124 --> 00:18:01,100 It'll run tomorrow: "We previously reported the boot 499 00:18:01,251 --> 00:18:02,750 "may have belonged to Beef Tobin. 500 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:06,012 In fact, the boot definitely belonged to Beef Tobin." 501 00:18:06,165 --> 00:18:07,755 Yep, well, that's technically true. 502 00:18:07,817 --> 00:18:10,109 But what about the part where I didn't commit the crime? 503 00:18:10,277 --> 00:18:12,002 I guess I can throw that in. 504 00:18:12,062 --> 00:18:13,687 -Got 'em! -Hootie & the Yay-fish! 505 00:18:13,839 --> 00:18:15,839 -All right. -This case really did me in. 506 00:18:15,899 --> 00:18:17,174 I got to go away for a while. 507 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,434 If you need me, put a boot on a lawn. 508 00:18:20,445 --> 00:18:22,604 -What's that? -Is it someone's birthday? 509 00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:23,938 Oh, my gosh, wherever does 510 00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:27,543 this metaphorical trail of menses lead? 511 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,188 -Oh, boy. -Behold. 512 00:18:31,248 --> 00:18:34,449 The vagina weeps. Why the long face? 513 00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:37,619 Because I am forced to sit upon a sanitary napkin 514 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,805 attached to a belt, and all I crave 515 00:18:39,998 --> 00:18:41,698 is a sleek, modern tampon. 516 00:18:41,758 --> 00:18:43,142 Or a DivaCup. 517 00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:46,870 BOTH: Woe, woe. Woe betide the vagina. 518 00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:49,464 Who curses you so? 519 00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:52,151 I am so mad at myself for quitting this club. 520 00:18:52,344 --> 00:18:55,729 'Twas Sandy Flarts, the school superintendent. 521 00:18:55,881 --> 00:18:59,158 She makes her blood money from my actual blood. 522 00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:00,975 She silenced our mural. 523 00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:05,146 ALL: But she can't silence our collective vagina. 524 00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:09,501 No Flarts in our arts, no Flarts in our arts. 525 00:19:09,694 --> 00:19:13,172 And also, by the way, I'm the cube for the common cold. 526 00:19:13,365 --> 00:19:15,565 Was that-- Did people feel that was coming across? 527 00:19:15,584 --> 00:19:17,676 I need to see you in my office, now. 528 00:19:17,845 --> 00:19:19,661 I don't have enough chairs for all of you, 529 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,405 so bring the Arkette. 530 00:19:21,506 --> 00:19:23,757 Let me guess: You're gonna expel us all for speaking out, 531 00:19:23,909 --> 00:19:26,410 because you're under the dirty thumb of Sandy Flarts. 532 00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:29,913 No! I love it when kids use art to rebel against authority. 533 00:19:29,973 --> 00:19:32,249 -Hello. Footloose. -Hello. 534 00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:33,841 But it's almost a shame Sandy Flarts 535 00:19:33,861 --> 00:19:35,252 wasn't here to see this herself. 536 00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:36,753 Oh, we're doing an encore performance 537 00:19:36,772 --> 00:19:38,088 for the school board. 538 00:19:38,148 --> 00:19:39,031 This was basically a dress rehearsal. 539 00:19:39,224 --> 00:19:40,607 Please don't do that, Judy. 540 00:19:40,759 --> 00:19:43,109 We really need those belted pads to stay. 541 00:19:43,245 --> 00:19:45,186 What? You are under Sandy's dirty thumb. 542 00:19:45,322 --> 00:19:47,706 No, it's just actually a pretty good deal. 543 00:19:47,857 --> 00:19:50,100 The school gets to keep a quarter of the pad profits. 544 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,269 It's what paid for your mural paint. 545 00:19:52,287 --> 00:19:53,937 We also use it for gym equipment, 546 00:19:53,997 --> 00:19:55,363 thumbtacks, dodgeballs, 547 00:19:55,424 --> 00:19:56,882 the snow cone machine for Boy's Day... 548 00:19:57,075 --> 00:19:58,275 Did you just say "Boy's Day"? 549 00:19:58,293 --> 00:19:59,776 And Post-its. 550 00:19:59,795 --> 00:20:01,536 Look, I will agree to use some of that money 551 00:20:01,639 --> 00:20:03,538 to keep a box of tampons in the girls' restroom. 552 00:20:03,641 --> 00:20:05,115 I mean, how much can they really cost? 553 00:20:05,175 --> 00:20:06,708 A hundred bucks? A hundred fifty? 554 00:20:06,810 --> 00:20:08,393 Five dollars and 99 cents. 555 00:20:08,545 --> 00:20:10,545 Really? We could've had them years ago. 556 00:20:10,606 --> 00:20:14,124 Now walk me through why Gill and Ham were businesswomen. 557 00:20:14,184 --> 00:20:16,718 I love it, I just want to understand it. 558 00:20:17,554 --> 00:20:19,296 Hey, Judy! Bummed I missed the performance. 559 00:20:19,356 --> 00:20:20,739 Can you believe adults aren't allowed to just 560 00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:22,466 walk into schools whenever they want? 561 00:20:22,526 --> 00:20:24,058 -How'd it all shake out? -Pretty well actually. 562 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,245 -Principal Gibbons loved it. -I'm proud of you, Judy. 563 00:20:26,438 --> 00:20:28,822 -You are quite the artist. -Really? 564 00:20:28,974 --> 00:20:30,474 You think I'm an artist? 565 00:20:30,492 --> 00:20:31,917 Even though I don't like to make controversial art unless 566 00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:34,144 I'm pushed to the absolute brink by corporate greed 567 00:20:34,204 --> 00:20:35,903 and a deep insecurity about my identity? 568 00:20:36,006 --> 00:20:37,405 You like to make art, don't you? 569 00:20:37,424 --> 00:20:39,073 That's all it takes to be an artist. 570 00:20:39,093 --> 00:20:40,817 But I do feel kind of responsible 571 00:20:40,919 --> 00:20:43,095 that you didn't get to paint the mural of your dreams. 572 00:20:43,288 --> 00:20:44,429 Oh, it's okay. 573 00:20:44,622 --> 00:20:46,098 Well, I noticed a nice, big chunk 574 00:20:46,249 --> 00:20:47,491 of wall behind the mall 575 00:20:47,551 --> 00:20:49,050 that could really use a facelift. 576 00:20:49,144 --> 00:20:50,827 Really? Which wall? 577 00:20:50,887 --> 00:20:52,938 The one next to the dumpster. 578 00:20:53,107 --> 00:20:54,606 Are you serious? 579 00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:56,758 That's way better exposure than the east hallway. 580 00:20:56,819 --> 00:20:58,685 Everyone uses the dumpster. 581 00:20:58,837 --> 00:21:00,670 ♪ Checking our watches late to a meeting ♪ 582 00:21:00,772 --> 00:21:03,448 ♪ Hike our skirts up when we're peeing ♪ 583 00:21:03,641 --> 00:21:06,510 ♪ Business, calling China ♪ 584 00:21:06,528 --> 00:21:08,678 ♪ Women, implied vagina ♪ 585 00:21:08,739 --> 00:21:11,272 ♪ Got to have my coffee and my tweed ♪ 586 00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:14,351 ♪ Wear my tiny glasses while I read ♪ 587 00:21:14,369 --> 00:21:17,111 ♪ Business, crisp collared shirts ♪ 588 00:21:17,172 --> 00:21:19,614 -♪ I'm a businesswoman ♪ -♪ Women! Who stole my yogurt? ♪ 589 00:21:19,633 --> 00:21:22,208 ♪ Heads held high up to the sky ♪ 590 00:21:22,361 --> 00:21:24,694 -♪ I hold my head up high ♪ -♪ Heads held high up to the sky ♪ 591 00:21:24,755 --> 00:21:29,366 -♪ Businesswomen ♪ -♪ I'm a business woman. ♪ 592 00:21:29,426 --> 00:21:31,368 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 593 00:21:31,428 --> 00:21:33,603 and TOYOTA.