1
00:00:01,577 --> 00:00:04,745
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:06,171
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
3
00:00:06,323 --> 00:00:07,731
-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
4
00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:10,400
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
5
00:00:10,419 --> 00:00:13,995
♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
6
00:00:14,089 --> 00:00:15,163
♪ Catch some fish ♪
7
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,757
♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
8
00:00:16,909 --> 00:00:17,999
♪ Wow ♪
9
00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:21,503
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
10
00:00:21,597 --> 00:00:22,855
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
11
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,339
♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
12
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:25,932
♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
13
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:30,029
♪ In the Great North. ♪
14
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,699
(cheering)
15
00:00:34,593 --> 00:00:36,093
BEEF:
Well, time for me to do
16
00:00:36,111 --> 00:00:38,262
-all the dishes and cleaning.
-No, no, Dad.
17
00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:40,113
You guys are Honeybee
and my guests tonight.
18
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,690
You just relax
and enjoy digesting.
19
00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:43,876
-Well, thank you.
-Honeybee,
20
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:45,860
that lasagna was
"Under the Tuscan Yum."
21
00:00:46,029 --> 00:00:47,028
Glad you liked it.
22
00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:49,048
I'm trying to branch out
from layered dips,
23
00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:51,108
so other layered foods seemed
like a good place to start.
24
00:00:51,126 --> 00:00:53,701
Well, I couldn't stop dipping
my fork into it,
25
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,961
my Glamorous Garfield.
26
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,388
Having us over for dinner,
27
00:00:56,615 --> 00:00:58,390
chaperoning our field trip
tomorrow--
28
00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:01,209
Wolf, you're really turning into
an Adult Arnold on us.
29
00:01:01,287 --> 00:01:03,044
You know it.
I can't wait to be your guide
30
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,898
on the abandoned Death Cliff
Prison field trip-a-roo.
31
00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:08,049
Still one of
my all-time favorite FTs
32
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,234
from when I was in high school.
33
00:01:09,386 --> 00:01:10,961
I've been browsing
their gift shop online
34
00:01:10,979 --> 00:01:11,978
since I heard about
the field trip,
35
00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:13,238
and I'm torn about what I want:
36
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,056
a bar of soap
with a tiny prisoner inside
37
00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,316
that you free when you wash
38
00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:17,743
or a throw pillow that says,
39
00:01:17,894 --> 00:01:19,227
"Wherever you go,
you're in jail."
40
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,080
And Crispin and I get
to walk around all day together.
41
00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:23,640
We do a lot of standing
and sitting together,
42
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:24,658
but walking?
43
00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,977
Uh, this is kind of huge for us.
44
00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:28,570
I'm sad my grade
doesn't get to go,
45
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,239
but Dad and I are gonna head out
into the woods tomorrow morning
46
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,074
and work on earning
my bird-watching patch
47
00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:35,502
-for Lil' Preppers.
-Ah! Is that the time?
48
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,987
Ham, we got to go!
49
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,597
Dakota: A Cowboy at College
is on TV tonight,
50
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,174
and we got to watch live
so we don't see any spoilers.
51
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,993
I wonder if he's gonna
switch his boots
52
00:01:43,011 --> 00:01:43,936
for some real city shoes
53
00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:45,253
for his date with Taffiny
tonight.
54
00:01:45,347 --> 00:01:47,681
Oh, wait for me!
I'm ready for a heaping helping
55
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,666
of that bucking biology major.
56
00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:51,443
Oh, babe, sorry,
you'll have to catch it later.
57
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,186
Remember, we got to finish
filling out that paperwork
58
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,689
to open our joint checking
account at the bank tomorrow.
59
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,174
Crapple sauce. I forgot.
60
00:01:57,192 --> 00:01:59,934
Uh-oh.
Adult Arnold rides again.
61
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,845
Come on,
I'm not that old, guys.
62
00:02:01,847 --> 00:02:03,622
I'm still just one of the sibs.
63
00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:04,939
(chuckles)
Look out.
64
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,441
Old Man Tobin's cranky.
65
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,942
Is that the sound
of an adult diaper
66
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,444
filling up with rage diarrhea?
67
00:02:09,538 --> 00:02:11,779
(laughs) Oh, Wolf,
we're just teasing.
68
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,132
(laughs):
Oh, yeah, sure.
69
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:15,359
I can take a joke because
I'm not an old fuddy-duddy.
70
00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:17,043
-(overlapping farewells)
-Good night, you two.
71
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,245
-(door closes)
-(whispers): Adult Arnold?
72
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:20,806
A-Are those wrinkles?
73
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:22,699
-Aah!
-First, you don't watch
74
00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:24,868
Dakota: A Cowboy at College.
75
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,052
Then your teeth fall out,
76
00:02:26,205 --> 00:02:28,463
then you start farting
uncontrollably,
77
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,874
and then you do the jitterbug
at your nephew's wedding
78
00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:32,317
and nobody wants to see that.
79
00:02:32,544 --> 00:02:33,968
And then your hearing
starts to go,
80
00:02:34,046 --> 00:02:35,912
and then your arms fall off,
81
00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:39,049
then you die... die... die.
82
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,342
(screams)
83
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,830
All righty, kids. Who's ready
to do some hard time?
84
00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,314
Oh, that didn't sound good.
85
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,667
Soft time. Ugh,
that doesn't sound good either.
86
00:02:48,818 --> 00:02:50,076
I know last night I had to do
87
00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:52,245
boring adult bank
paperwork stuff,
88
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,323
but today I'm
responsibility-free. (whoops)
89
00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,083
But aren't you our chaperone?
90
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,011
More like a "fun-perone,"
young lady.
91
00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,513
-Oh, no.
-You know, when I went
on this field trip
92
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,015
not that many years ago,
93
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,242
my friend Cheesecake and I
snuck off on our own...
94
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:07,019
Students, stop talking.
95
00:03:07,246 --> 00:03:09,021
Does everyone have
their worksheets?
96
00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:10,747
You'll need to visit
these five locations
97
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:13,007
within the prison and write
a description of them.
98
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,768
Wolf, did you look over
the worksheet?
99
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,086
Oh, absolutely.
100
00:03:16,104 --> 00:03:18,346
Practically got it memorized,
Teachio.
101
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,681
Please never call me that again.
102
00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,200
Now, if you'd follow me
up front,
103
00:03:21,427 --> 00:03:23,518
there is seating for you there,
with the other adults.
104
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,779
Three to a seat
violates safety protocol.
105
00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:26,930
Sorry about that.
106
00:03:26,949 --> 00:03:28,281
(singsongy):
Here I come.
107
00:03:28,434 --> 00:03:29,875
Don't worry, guys.
I'm not gonna be hard on you
108
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,935
about that worksheet
because we can all agree
109
00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:33,937
that homework stinks.
110
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:35,272
Pee-yew, am I right?
111
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:38,199
Do we have the option
to take a different bus?
112
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:40,777
-What's that one?
-Dark-eyed junco.
113
00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:43,555
Slate plumage with a touch
of white around the tail.
114
00:03:43,707 --> 00:03:44,890
Pale-pink bill.
115
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,391
A flock is sometimes called
a blizzard.
116
00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:48,802
But instead of covering
the ground with snow,
117
00:03:48,878 --> 00:03:51,713
they blanket the ground
with the warm thrum of life.
118
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,307
Aah! Oh, sorry. Hello.
119
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,717
No, I'm sorry.
120
00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:57,402
You should never surprise
a fellow bird-watcher.
121
00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:59,629
I have some of the quietest
footsteps in the world.
122
00:03:59,631 --> 00:04:01,147
I entered
an international competition
123
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,741
and came in fifth place.
124
00:04:02,968 --> 00:04:04,058
Hello.
My name is Greta Meatweep.
125
00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:06,970
Well, Greta,
it is great-a to meet you.
126
00:04:07,063 --> 00:04:09,656
I'm Beef Tobin.
This is my Moon son.
127
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,066
(laughs)
I mean my Moon son.
128
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,235
I mean my son--
get it together, Beef.
129
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:15,645
This is my son Moon.
130
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,482
I couldn't help overhearing
you describing those birds.
131
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,000
It sounded like poetry to me.
132
00:04:20,152 --> 00:04:22,761
I happen to be a proud member of
the Lone Moose Poetry Gaggle.
133
00:04:22,912 --> 00:04:24,838
I also coordinate the snacks.
Are you a poet?
134
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:28,992
I, um... Am I a poet?
135
00:04:29,011 --> 00:04:30,994
Elizabeth Barrett Browning!
136
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:33,179
Flying atop a bird
with a poetess?
137
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,440
This is what I daydreamed of
as a teen.
138
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,109
Please tell me you are
a poet, too, Beef,
139
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:40,520
and then arrange me
like your beautiful words.
140
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:44,307
♪ Greta Meatweep. ♪
141
00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:47,360
Yes, yes, of course I'm a poet.
142
00:04:47,513 --> 00:04:48,620
Uh, Dad?
143
00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:50,680
Remember, Moon? How I am one?
144
00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,273
Right, yes.
145
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:53,683
He sure is a poet.
146
00:04:53,702 --> 00:04:56,628
Oh, boy, can this guy rhyme
with the best of them.
147
00:04:56,855 --> 00:04:58,463
I admire that so much.
148
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:00,114
I write non-rhyming poetry
149
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:01,449
because I can never
think of rhymes.
150
00:05:01,543 --> 00:05:03,302
Uh, uh, for instance,
this morning
151
00:05:03,453 --> 00:05:05,119
I was trying to think
of a rhyme for "table."
152
00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:07,955
-Stable.
-Wow, what a gift.
153
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:09,533
I can smell the horses already.
154
00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:10,976
I know this is short notice,
but would you be interested
155
00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:13,537
in attending a poetry gathering
this afternoon?
156
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,630
Perhaps you could recite
one of your poems.
157
00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:16,815
Oh, and you can bring your son
158
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,542
and any other poetry lovers
out there.
159
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:19,985
Am I talking too fast?
I hope not.
160
00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:21,320
I had a caffeinated mint
yesterday,
161
00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:22,988
and it's still working its way
through my system.
162
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,048
So, can I count you in or not?
163
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,383
Hmm. Yes?
164
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:27,734
And read one of your poems?
165
00:05:27,886 --> 00:05:29,069
Certainly.
166
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,887
What a wonderful thing
I have agreed to do.
167
00:05:30,906 --> 00:05:33,648
I'm very happy
with myself about it.
168
00:05:33,742 --> 00:05:34,982
It's going to be at the VFW.
169
00:05:35,077 --> 00:05:36,560
-See you there.
-You bet.
170
00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:39,245
Son, did I just tell
that enchanting lady of letters
171
00:05:39,398 --> 00:05:42,841
that I am a poet and agree
to read one of my poems
172
00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:45,569
-at an event this afternoon?
-Correct.
173
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,087
Wonderful.
174
00:05:47,163 --> 00:05:49,756
Welcome to the Death Cliff
Prison and Museum.
175
00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:53,093
There is to be no spitting,
slapping or chewing gum.
176
00:05:53,169 --> 00:05:54,411
I believe you can
laugh at something
177
00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:55,854
without screaming
performatively.
178
00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:58,005
Just no loudness in general.
Got it? Good.
179
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,007
Okay, we'll be splitting up
into three groups.
180
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,861
One group with me,
one with Chelery's fathers,
181
00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:04,254
and one with
the Tobins' older brother Wolf.
182
00:06:04,347 --> 00:06:07,014
Stay with your group.
Do not stray.
183
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,608
Mind your chaperones
as if they were me
184
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,595
but with far less knowledge
of obscure film noir.
185
00:06:11,613 --> 00:06:12,929
Okay, let's go inside.
186
00:06:12,948 --> 00:06:14,264
All right, Wolf's group,
huddle up.
187
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:16,766
-You guys have your passes?
-What passes?
188
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:19,211
Yeah, the permission slip said
we just needed a water,
189
00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:20,528
lunch and a good attitude.
190
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,772
My attitude sucks,
but I brought a sandwich.
191
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:26,610
Guys, I'm talking about
your back-cage passes. (laughs)
192
00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:29,036
We're about to go on a special
little "off the books" tour
193
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:31,723
called "Wolf's
Private Prison Peep Show."
194
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,225
Eh... wait,
that did not sound right.
195
00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:36,711
So, let's call it "Wolf's
All-Inclusive Prison Peep Show."
196
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,121
Man, still not right.
197
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:39,398
Wolf, what are you
talking about?
198
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,142
I'm talking about
an all-access tour
199
00:06:42,294 --> 00:06:44,310
of the very secret locations
within this prison
200
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,888
that Cheesecake and I discovered
when we were in high school.
201
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,465
Oh, I love going
behind the scenes.
202
00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:50,967
One time I saw the employee
break room at the art museum.
203
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:52,894
Whew, if those mugs could talk.
204
00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:55,080
Okay, that's the door we need
to sneak through right there.
205
00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:56,915
Beyond that is
a whole wing of the prison
206
00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,733
that's not open to the public
207
00:06:58,827 --> 00:07:01,645
that ends in a very fun
surprise destination.
208
00:07:01,663 --> 00:07:03,070
Cheesecake was looking
for a bathroom,
209
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,981
but I'm telling you,
what we found was
210
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,258
so much better than a bathroom.
211
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,818
Better than a bathroom?
This I got to see.
212
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:12,172
Okay, quietly, on your tiptoes.
Go. Go, go, go, go.
213
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:15,100
We don't have to do the whole
tour on tiptoes, do we?
214
00:07:15,251 --> 00:07:17,727
My calves are still tender
from jazz dance club.
215
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,774
Welcome to
the "Shawshank Tour-demption,"
216
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,260
where it's time to get busy
touring or get busy dying.
217
00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:29,430
Mr. Wolf, I'm having
such an amazing time.
218
00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:31,450
Please, Mr. Wolf is my father.
219
00:07:31,601 --> 00:07:33,359
-Just call me Wolf.
-I can't believe
220
00:07:33,512 --> 00:07:36,288
they don't put this cold, dark
corridor on the regular tour.
221
00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:38,439
Well, this area is
technically closed off
222
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,125
because they say
it's a little dangerous,
223
00:07:40,276 --> 00:07:41,609
but Cheesecake and
I did just fine.
224
00:07:41,703 --> 00:07:43,186
If we find the prison morgue,
225
00:07:43,188 --> 00:07:45,279
I need someone to take
my picture in the body drawer
226
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,299
and text it to my brother,
so that he'll feel guilty
227
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:49,192
about taking the last
Toaster Strudel this morning.
228
00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:51,911
Beedly-beedly-boop.
Listen up to your tour guide.
229
00:07:52,063 --> 00:07:53,805
Coming up on our left is
the prison wood shop
230
00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:57,033
where you can still see half of
an adorable napkin holder
231
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:58,477
built by Sammy the Smotherer.
232
00:07:58,628 --> 00:08:01,037
So far I haven't learned
a single useful thing
233
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,130
on this field trip,
and I love it.
234
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,725
HONEYBEE:
Oh, hey, Beef. I was just
finishing a frozen waffle.
235
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,711
You want one? Oh, no.
236
00:08:07,729 --> 00:08:09,212
What's going on with your face?
237
00:08:09,231 --> 00:08:11,564
Moon and I met a lady
in the forest.
238
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,550
This sounds like
the start of a fairy tale.
239
00:08:13,568 --> 00:08:15,309
Is Moon a frog now?
Is he in your pocket?
240
00:08:15,387 --> 00:08:18,646
Moon is at school, but I told
this woman that I was a poet.
241
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:20,056
And I promised to attend
242
00:08:20,075 --> 00:08:21,833
a poetry gathering
this afternoon
243
00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:23,668
and read a poem I wrote.
244
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:26,671
-You really write poetry?
-Well, I've dabbled.
245
00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,006
I mean, we're in Alaska.
246
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:30,416
How can one not be inspired
by the landscape?
247
00:08:30,569 --> 00:08:32,511
Sometimes I write down
a fragment.
248
00:08:32,738 --> 00:08:35,071
And I've always thought
female poets are--
249
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:37,832
sorry to be graphic--
very attractive.
250
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,577
Emily Dickinson is
my ideal woman.
251
00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:41,928
She loved to be alone
252
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,688
and would have had
no interest in me.
253
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,248
Hubba-hubba.
254
00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:47,359
But then I would never
actually call myself a poet.
255
00:08:47,435 --> 00:08:49,102
It just came out.
I got flustered,
256
00:08:49,254 --> 00:08:50,529
and, well,
now I've really done it.
257
00:08:50,756 --> 00:08:53,180
Okay, don't panic, Beef.
It could be a nice time.
258
00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:55,275
No, Honeybee,
you don't understand.
259
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:56,868
I'm bad at public speaking.
260
00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:58,519
I've never written a whole poem.
261
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,263
My getting up there
and reading one this evening
262
00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:02,599
will be like a snake trying
to catch a baseball.
263
00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:04,876
Hmm, well, I'm not gonna be any
help to you in writing a poem,
264
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:07,361
but what I can help you with
is a look.
265
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,215
I was friends with a poet,
Armando, in Fresno,
266
00:09:10,442 --> 00:09:12,275
so I know a thing or two
about how they look and act.
267
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:15,128
Maybe a scarf could be
an interesting touch.
268
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,964
There are some pretty nice ones
in the scarf hamper
269
00:09:18,116 --> 00:09:19,799
from Wolf's
close-up magic phase.
270
00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:21,618
That's the spirit, Beef.
I have a feeling
271
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:23,544
once you look in the mirror
and see a poet,
272
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,397
those words will just
come tumbling out.
273
00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:26,639
Thanks, Honeybee.
274
00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:28,792
Maybe I will have a waffle
after all.
275
00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:31,127
Good, I'd feel waffle
if you didn't.
276
00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:32,812
My God, what is this family
doing to me?
277
00:09:32,964 --> 00:09:35,907
All right, hope you all enjoyed
seeing the common area.
278
00:09:36,134 --> 00:09:38,301
Some of the prison's
most notorious killers
279
00:09:38,361 --> 00:09:39,578
did square dancing in there.
280
00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:41,304
We're almost to our destination.
281
00:09:41,323 --> 00:09:43,397
It's just up a... huh.
282
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,417
Wondering if we took
a wrong turn.
283
00:09:45,644 --> 00:09:46,993
Uh, Wolf? Are we lost?
284
00:09:47,145 --> 00:09:48,978
I get lost all the time
delivering pizzas,
285
00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:50,480
so I keep two calzones
in the car,
286
00:09:50,498 --> 00:09:52,315
in case I need to stick
my feet in them for warmth.
287
00:09:52,408 --> 00:09:54,167
Did you bring any hot food
for our feet?
288
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:57,095
Guys, I'm not gonna
officially label us lost.
289
00:09:57,246 --> 00:10:00,581
More like "momentarily
on unrecognizable terrain."
290
00:10:00,675 --> 00:10:02,934
Wolf, I also agree
that labels put us in a box
291
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:04,510
with the inability to grow,
292
00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:06,179
but we might want
to find our way back
293
00:10:06,331 --> 00:10:08,181
to the rest of the tour
before all the prison ghosts
294
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,182
come out for the evening.
295
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,133
Yeah, m-maybe you're right.
296
00:10:11,186 --> 00:10:13,778
Hmm... Let me just
take a look around.
297
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,505
Maybe down this way.
298
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:18,024
-(gasps)
-There's only one track
to get back on,
299
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,118
and it leads straight
from this prison
300
00:10:20,269 --> 00:10:22,269
to the bank where you take on
a second mortgage.
301
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,531
Your underwear always feels wet,
front and back.
302
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:26,850
Then your arms fall off.
303
00:10:26,943 --> 00:10:28,701
You start yelling at the sink,
304
00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:31,129
and then you die... die... die.
305
00:10:31,356 --> 00:10:33,632
(gasps) You know what?
On second thought,
306
00:10:33,859 --> 00:10:34,874
let's just go a little further
307
00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:36,301
and see if I can get
my bearings.
308
00:10:36,528 --> 00:10:37,785
If you're scared, Judy,
you can hold my hand.
309
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,212
No, thanks, Gill.
310
00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:41,865
But you can hold your own hand
and pretend it's mine.
311
00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:43,883
Really? Thank you.
312
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,644
Our hands fit
perfectly together.
313
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:48,480
Good news, everyone,
this is starting to look...
314
00:10:48,707 --> 00:10:50,874
-(all scream)
-Sorry, I didn't mean
to scare you.
315
00:10:50,892 --> 00:10:54,878
You guys know I love to swivel
in a chair in complete darkness.
316
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,971
It's one of
my main personality traits.
317
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,824
I told you this tour would be
filled with chills and thrills.
318
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:01,551
(chuckles):
But everything's fine.
319
00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:03,903
-Okay, let's keep... (screams)
-(others gasp)
320
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,073
Mountain Dew Code Crap!
Not my beautiful brother!
321
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:09,742
Ham! Say something!
Are you alive?!
322
00:11:09,895 --> 00:11:11,744
-Ha, I'm okay, guys.
-Oh, thank God.
323
00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:13,320
For a minute
I thought you were gone,
324
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,731
and we have so many plans
together, like how we were gonna
325
00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:15,915
wear each other's jeans
and not tell anyone.
326
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:17,842
You sure you're all right, bud?
327
00:11:17,994 --> 00:11:19,177
Oh, yeah. Yup, yup.
328
00:11:19,328 --> 00:11:21,346
I-I just got surprised
when there was a floor
329
00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:22,847
and then suddenly
there wasn't a floor.
330
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,574
Wolf, this has been super fun,
331
00:11:24,576 --> 00:11:26,184
but we might want
to turn around now?
332
00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:27,593
Yup, just the regular old tour
333
00:11:27,746 --> 00:11:29,579
of regular old Death Cliff
Prison might be nice.
334
00:11:29,672 --> 00:11:31,356
-OLD WOLF: Yoo-hoo!
-Hmm?
-You know, just walking
335
00:11:31,507 --> 00:11:34,100
-and looking and checking stuff
off our worksheets.
-Oh.
336
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,177
Um, uh, yeah. I-I know
what you're saying, Judy,
337
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,696
but now that we're
at the barbershop,
338
00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:39,013
I've got my bearings back.
339
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,532
I remember Cheesecake sat
in that chair
340
00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:42,183
and asked for The Rachel.
341
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,277
The place I'm taking you to is
right around the next corner.
342
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,538
Let me just show you guys
this one amazing thing,
343
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,706
and then we'll go back.
344
00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:49,190
Okay. I guess.
345
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:50,375
All right! Here we go.
346
00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:52,285
Everybody follow me.
Aah! O-Okay.
347
00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:54,028
E-Everyone watch the hole there.
348
00:11:54,122 --> 00:11:56,773
Now here we go. (laughs, sighs)
349
00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,775
Okay, okay.
This looks familiar.
350
00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:01,110
I think this is it.
(laughs) Guys!
351
00:12:01,129 --> 00:12:04,781
-Come here, come here!
-I found it!
-Wow.
352
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:06,224
Welcome to
the most gorgeous cell
353
00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:07,875
in all of Alaska's
prison system,
354
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,919
the solitary confinement cell
355
00:12:10,046 --> 00:12:12,379
they called
the "underwater coffin."
356
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,806
JUDY:
Look at that view!
357
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,567
This is more like solitary
just-fine-ment.
358
00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:16,960
(chuckles) Okay.
359
00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:18,570
(scoffs) This is
so much better than my room
360
00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:19,887
that it makes me sick.
361
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,297
I feel like I'm
on Big Little Lies.
362
00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:23,074
Told you it'd be worth it.
363
00:12:26,154 --> 00:12:27,728
All right, everybody get out
your lunches.
364
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,581
We'll have a little bite to eat
and then circle back
365
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,975
with the squares
and fill out those worksheets.
366
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:35,569
Let those chaper-oldies up there
bore their groups to turds.
367
00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:37,088
"Up there, it's their time.
368
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,315
Down here, it's our time."
Goonies.
369
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:41,408
What on earth
are you talking about?
370
00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,669
Oh, hey, Moon.
Glad you could get a ride home.
371
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,097
Your dad's just about to make
his big entrance as a poet.
372
00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:47,766
Come on in, Beef!
373
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:50,435
MOON:
Oh, yeah. That's a poet.
374
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:51,677
Yup, it's almost there.
375
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:53,438
Could I give you
a few adjustments?
376
00:12:53,589 --> 00:12:55,014
-Please.
-Okay. Come in again,
377
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,609
but this time stop in the middle
and chuckle knowingly.
378
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,335
Yeah. Then look off
into the distance
379
00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:01,780
as you contemplate
the sound of a leaf falling.
380
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:03,430
And you should have
a slight cough
381
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:06,100
-from writing outside
in the elements by the river.
-Got it.
382
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,435
Oh, how about a limp
from a duel you were in
383
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,121
with your lover Calista's
husband?
384
00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:11,956
And would it kill you
to be exhausted
385
00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:13,699
by the beauty
that's all around you?
386
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:17,537
Okay. Chuckle. Cough.
Limp. Exhaustion. Got it.
387
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,464
(chuckles)
388
00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:20,873
(coughs)
389
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,693
Oh, look at that beauty.
390
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,119
Boy, I'm tired.
391
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,363
That is good.
Oh, one last thing.
392
00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:28,714
Let's mess up your beard.
393
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,216
Poets are always
a little shabby.
394
00:13:30,368 --> 00:13:31,476
My friend Armando was
constantly mistaken
395
00:13:31,627 --> 00:13:33,369
for a scarecrow
when we were picnicking.
396
00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:34,887
All right, that ought to do it.
397
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,056
Should we get in the car
and set this poetry in motion?
398
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,208
Seriously, what is this family
doing to me?
399
00:13:39,227 --> 00:13:42,211
One more thing--
I have to write an actual poem.
400
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:44,714
Oh, yeah...
I forgot about that part.
401
00:13:44,807 --> 00:13:46,232
You got 20 minutes.
Go, go, go.
402
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,494
All right. Now I just have
to come up with a poem.
403
00:13:49,645 --> 00:13:53,389
Let's see. Maybe one of these
fragments could inspire me.
404
00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:56,225
Hmm. Well, this one is covered
in barbecue sauce.
405
00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:57,669
Gonna throw that out.
406
00:13:57,896 --> 00:14:00,988
And, uh, this one just says,
"Good morning, rake."
407
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,508
Oh, man,
this is gonna be terrible.
408
00:14:03,659 --> 00:14:07,420
And now, a man who promised me
in the woods that he was a poet.
409
00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:09,330
A man who I might be
able to love,
410
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,592
but absolutely everything
is riding on this moment.
411
00:14:12,744 --> 00:14:14,168
If this poem isn't good,
412
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,670
then my nascent feelings for him
will dry up
413
00:14:16,764 --> 00:14:18,247
and blow away like ash.
414
00:14:18,249 --> 00:14:21,267
Fingers crossed.
Here he is, Beef Tobin.
415
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,029
Poem. Poem. Barf. Barf. Poem.
416
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:26,513
That's not a poem.
417
00:14:26,608 --> 00:14:29,350
(echoing):
Liar!
418
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,201
(shudders)
419
00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:32,353
What rhymes with "God help me"?
420
00:14:32,447 --> 00:14:34,764
I never thought I'd say this,
but I'm sure going to miss
421
00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:37,283
this solitary confinement cell
in an abandoned prison.
422
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:40,603
Hey, um, why did they call it
the underwater coffin anyway?
423
00:14:40,696 --> 00:14:41,954
Oh, it's not always so nice.
424
00:14:42,107 --> 00:14:43,456
Uh, we were here
at a good time of day.
425
00:14:43,608 --> 00:14:45,532
They would literally
send people in here to die.
426
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,293
See the holes they drilled
in the wall there?
427
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,869
It floods during high tide.
428
00:14:48,963 --> 00:14:50,296
But what a way to go, huh?
429
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:53,282
So, we're in a cell
that floods with icy cold water?
430
00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:54,467
Yeah, but we're fine now.
431
00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:56,302
The tide's just starting
to come in.
432
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,229
Okay, everybody. Pack
your snacks. We're headed back.
433
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,957
Huh. How did this get closed?
434
00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,141
GILL:
Oh, I closed that.
435
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,626
My mom's been getting
on me about
436
00:15:03,645 --> 00:15:05,069
my door-closing bathroom
etiquette lately.
437
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:07,721
She's gonna be so proud
when I tell her.
438
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,889
Uh... guys.
439
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,408
WOLF:
Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.
440
00:15:10,635 --> 00:15:14,153
Wolf, should you maybe use your
cell phone to call Mr. Golovkin?
441
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,729
Oh, right, yep. (stammers)
442
00:15:15,823 --> 00:15:18,249
Okay, there's no signal.
Uh, a-anybody else getting one?
443
00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:21,644
-OTHERS: No.
-Okay, nobody panic.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
444
00:15:21,663 --> 00:15:24,363
Oh, great. How?!
445
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,982
Okay, let's see, locked cell
446
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,741
in an abandoned wing
of the prison,
447
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,152
far from anyone else,
448
00:15:29,245 --> 00:15:30,762
slowly filling up
with cold ocean water.
449
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,746
Just, uh...
give me one more minute.
450
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,266
(sighs) Well, if I'm going
to die in an abandoned prison,
451
00:15:35,493 --> 00:15:36,826
I'm glad it's with you, Ham.
452
00:15:36,844 --> 00:15:38,752
This guy with the romance.
453
00:15:38,846 --> 00:15:41,164
How lucky am I?
454
00:15:41,182 --> 00:15:42,165
(Beef coughing)
455
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:44,943
-Beef? Are you okay?
-Ah, yes.
456
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,520
My cough comes
from writing in the river,
457
00:15:47,672 --> 00:15:50,597
and the limp from dueling
with your lover.
458
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,677
Oh, I'm so sorry,
I just heard a leaf fall.
459
00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:56,012
Oh, wonderful.
460
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,956
I can't hear leaves.
I have leaf deafness.
461
00:15:58,183 --> 00:15:59,958
What I would give
to hear a leaf again.
462
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:02,034
There are certain sounds
I can't hear
463
00:16:02,187 --> 00:16:03,352
because I was struck
by lightning.
464
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:05,855
Leaf sounds, dubstep,
certain truck engines,
465
00:16:05,873 --> 00:16:07,131
and ironically, thunder.
466
00:16:07,283 --> 00:16:09,133
Well, I better go put the snacks
on the table.
467
00:16:09,285 --> 00:16:11,861
I love making the Cheez-Its
into a little fan shape.
468
00:16:11,879 --> 00:16:13,471
Can't wait to hear
that poem, Beef.
469
00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:14,764
Oh, God.
470
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:18,959
Ham, boost me up!
471
00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:21,220
(grunts) Anyone with a belt?
472
00:16:21,372 --> 00:16:23,389
-I need it now, please.
-What's it worth to you?
473
00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:26,375
John, I like and respect you
just the way you are,
474
00:16:26,469 --> 00:16:28,711
but we don't have time
for drama right now.
475
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:29,970
Fine, but you have to admit,
476
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,215
what we just did was
a little dramatic.
477
00:16:32,308 --> 00:16:33,899
Okay, yes! The belt.
478
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,052
Wolf, are you gonna use these
to climb out?
479
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:38,020
-Uh-huh.
-No, it's too dangerous!
480
00:16:38,022 --> 00:16:40,072
Judy, I got us into this
acting like a kid.
481
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,742
I need to get us out of it
acting like an adult.
482
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,168
I was being a ding-dang fool
483
00:16:44,395 --> 00:16:46,153
because a guy
in a fire extinguisher cabinet
484
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,339
had me worrying
about second mortgages.
485
00:16:48,491 --> 00:16:49,732
-What?
-Never mind.
486
00:16:49,901 --> 00:16:52,159
If I can lower myself
to the rock below the window
487
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,679
with these belts,
I should be able to scale
488
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:56,072
the rest of the cliff.
489
00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:58,099
Just like a little billy goat
right to the top.
490
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:01,744
Uh-uh. You get out of here.
491
00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:03,596
But your arms,
they'll fall off
492
00:17:03,748 --> 00:17:05,005
if you act like an adult.
493
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,100
Shut up, Old Wolf!
You have no power over me!
494
00:17:08,253 --> 00:17:09,752
I'm really worried
about your brother.
495
00:17:09,771 --> 00:17:12,030
I don't think he should get
that second mortgage.
496
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,927
-Don't leave! We need help!
-We're not leaving.
497
00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:19,111
We're having our lunch break.
498
00:17:19,264 --> 00:17:21,238
Wait, where's your group?
Why are you wet?
499
00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:22,689
I screwed up big-time.
500
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,283
I just wanted them to think
I was still young enough
501
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,210
to hang out with them
and do something crazy,
502
00:17:26,362 --> 00:17:27,937
but then I did
something actually crazy
503
00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:29,047
and very, very stupid.
504
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,440
-Where are they?
-Okay, this is gonna sound bad,
505
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:34,460
but they're in a cell
called the underwater coffin.
506
00:17:34,537 --> 00:17:37,446
-It's actually really beautiful.
-Stop talking. Let's move.
507
00:17:37,465 --> 00:17:40,224
And if you should see
a baby stork
508
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,376
Flying through
the midnight sky
509
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,228
Is he delivering himself?
510
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:46,380
Do I hear his forlorn cry?
511
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,048
Who delivers the baby storks?
512
00:17:48,142 --> 00:17:51,069
With their parents
busy delivering us
513
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,404
Young birds, forsaken
514
00:17:53,631 --> 00:17:55,481
Who can they trust?
515
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:57,633
-Thank you.
-Thank you, Santiago.
516
00:17:57,652 --> 00:17:59,577
Another poem about storks,
517
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:01,987
and just as enjoyable
as all the others.
518
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,489
Now, I'm very pleased
to introduce
519
00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:05,658
a poet I found in the woods
this morning.
520
00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:06,992
His name is Beef Tobin,
521
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,477
and he's going to read
an original poem.
522
00:18:08,496 --> 00:18:11,255
Hello, everyone.
This is my poem.
523
00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:14,333
It is called
"Good Morning, Rake."
524
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:15,501
(clears throat)
525
00:18:15,653 --> 00:18:18,504
There I was,
walking by the lake...
526
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,173
Um, I'm sorry, let me...
let me start again.
527
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,417
Or rather, start over.
528
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,845
I, uh... Oh, boy.
529
00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:28,998
Greta, this morning,
um, with the birds,
530
00:18:29,016 --> 00:18:31,776
I was stirred
by your smiling face,
531
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:34,353
and my vision blurred.
532
00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:38,174
And-and, yes, I mistakenly
blurted out a half-truth,
533
00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:41,510
making me a fool,
and here is the proof.
534
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,455
I am not a poet--
I'm sorry, it's true--
535
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:47,533
but my lie bloomed
from my feelings,
536
00:18:47,685 --> 00:18:49,685
my feelings for you.
537
00:18:49,687 --> 00:18:51,354
(applause)
538
00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:54,615
Dad, I think you should have
coughed a little more,
539
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,283
but overall it was pretty good.
540
00:18:56,377 --> 00:18:58,210
I'm sorry again, Teachio.
541
00:18:58,363 --> 00:18:59,695
Wolf, we talked about "Teachio."
542
00:18:59,788 --> 00:19:01,213
And apology accepted,
543
00:19:01,366 --> 00:19:03,290
but I'm going to save you
a lot of heartache
544
00:19:03,384 --> 00:19:04,809
and give you a piece of advice.
545
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,127
Being the fun adult never works.
546
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,054
It's impossible to ride
that line successfully
547
00:19:09,207 --> 00:19:11,207
without ending up
looking like a fool
548
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:13,225
and maybe getting arrested
for a stunt at a skate park.
549
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,710
Just ask my stepbrother Glarn.
550
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:16,821
I could have followed
in his footsteps very easily
551
00:19:17,048 --> 00:19:18,305
when I first started teaching
552
00:19:18,399 --> 00:19:21,159
if I'd given in to my ridiculous
desire to be liked.
553
00:19:21,386 --> 00:19:23,810
Kids crave boundaries
from adults, not friendship.
554
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,330
They can still like you
even if you're not their friend.
555
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:29,149
You're right. I'm sorry
I dropped the chaperone ball.
556
00:19:29,243 --> 00:19:30,743
I guess I can't have
my childhood cake
557
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,003
and eat it, too.
558
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:33,412
They still have adult cake,
Wolf.
559
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,988
And the great thing
about adult cake is
560
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,823
it can be anything you want.
561
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,009
It can even be a model train set
562
00:19:38,236 --> 00:19:39,919
you've put thousands
of hours and dollars into
563
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,162
but still feel
weirdly ashamed of.
564
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,997
You're a grown-up,
you shouldn't have it,
565
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,908
but you love to see
those choo choos go round.
566
00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:47,076
Thanks, Mr. Golovkin.
567
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:49,261
You can call me Theodore.
We're both adults.
568
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,355
Do all adults call
each other Theodore?
569
00:19:51,507 --> 00:19:52,673
I-Is that a thing?
570
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,342
-N-No, Wolf. That's my name.
-Oh, copy that.
571
00:19:55,436 --> 00:19:58,921
Greta, sorry I lied to you
about being a poet.
572
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:00,589
Well, I hate to say this
573
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,425
because I hate
when other people say it,
574
00:20:02,443 --> 00:20:04,869
but I think you are a poet,
and you may just not know it.
575
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,705
Well, perhaps we could
have coffee sometime
576
00:20:07,932 --> 00:20:09,356
and just chat about poetry.
577
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,101
I think reading off a menu
is more the level
578
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:13,878
of public speaking I'm used to.
579
00:20:14,105 --> 00:20:15,529
Coffee with you would be great.
580
00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:17,030
We could even call it a...
581
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,549
-Mmm, date?
-Yes.
582
00:20:18,776 --> 00:20:19,717
That's exactly the word.
583
00:20:19,868 --> 00:20:21,277
How do you do that?
584
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,964
I'm sorry I almost got you and
all your friends killed today.
585
00:20:25,116 --> 00:20:27,283
My bad. I didn't want to be
an Adult Arnold,
586
00:20:27,301 --> 00:20:30,377
and I almost accidentally became
a Murdering Michael.
587
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,972
I guess being responsible
doesn't have to be a bad thing.
588
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,048
But I promise,
I'm still gonna watch
589
00:20:35,142 --> 00:20:37,401
Dakota: A Cowboy at College
with you,
590
00:20:37,628 --> 00:20:39,478
and I'll never let
my arms fall off.
591
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:40,980
Well, I'm glad to hear that,
Wolf,
592
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,557
because you'll need them
for hugging.
593
00:20:43,651 --> 00:20:44,891
(chuckles):
Get in here!
594
00:20:44,986 --> 00:20:46,727
GOLOVKIN:
Safety protocol!
595
00:20:46,804 --> 00:20:47,970
From one adult to another,
596
00:20:48,063 --> 00:20:49,413
you frigging got it,
Theodore.
597
00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:52,583
♪ Cowpoke, they think
I'm some kinda joke ♪
598
00:20:52,693 --> 00:20:56,587
♪ These slick city boys
with their whiskey and Coke ♪
599
00:20:56,814 --> 00:20:59,090
♪ And I, I refuse ♪
600
00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:03,002
♪ To let this city brand me ♪
601
00:21:03,154 --> 00:21:04,745
♪ Hey, there's Taffiny ♪
602
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,172
♪ And my best friend Jim ♪
603
00:21:07,325 --> 00:21:09,992
♪ His boyfriend's a dancer
whose name is Tim ♪
604
00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:11,936
♪ This small-town cowboy ♪
605
00:21:12,163 --> 00:21:15,273
♪ Might make this city
his own ♪
606
00:21:16,091 --> 00:21:17,500
♪ This college cowboy ♪
607
00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:20,278
♪ Might bring
some knowledge home. ♪
608
00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:21,670
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
609
00:21:21,764 --> 00:21:23,430
and TOYOTA.
610
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,283
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org