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00:00:01,393 --> 00:00:04,745
-♪ Look up there ♪
-♪ What do you see? ♪
2
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:06,154
♪ Nature and stuff ♪
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-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪
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00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:10,417
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
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♪ Way up here,
you can breathe the air ♪
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♪ Catch some fish ♪
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♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪
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♪ Wow ♪
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00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:21,169
♪ Oh, the Great North ♪
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00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:22,596
♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪
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♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪
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♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪
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♪ In the Great North. ♪
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(cheering)
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RUSSELL: Ah.
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The trash cans
filled to the brim.
17
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The halls ripe with B.O.
18
00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,207
A lone Tater Tot
under the cafeteria table
19
00:00:42,359 --> 00:00:44,601
captured in the fading
afternoon light.
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The smell of vomit sawdust
in my nostrils.
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00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:49,289
This is Junior Janitors.
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Are you gonna act
this annoying all the time
23
00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:54,536
during Junior Janitors, Russell,
or is today special?
24
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,946
Moon, today is special
25
00:00:55,964 --> 00:00:58,390
because it's both
of your first days as JJs,
26
00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:01,376
and sure, you guys think it's
just sweeping and gum removal,
27
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,729
but it's also mopping
and spitball removal.
28
00:01:03,956 --> 00:01:05,213
I'm just here
for teacher gossip.
29
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,957
I figured you must overhear
teachers talking
30
00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:08,642
on their cell phones
after hours,
31
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,460
see weird stuff in desk drawers.
32
00:01:10,479 --> 00:01:11,812
I love knowing teacher secrets.
33
00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:14,055
It's the only knowledge
they have that's worthwhile.
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00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:15,148
Spill it, Russell.
35
00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:17,467
Well, Mr. Branson
has a pair of desk socks
36
00:01:17,486 --> 00:01:19,636
-and something called herpes.
-Keep talking.
37
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Mr. Snee told his wife
that he invented the phrase
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"tennis anyone?"
and he's paranoid
39
00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:25,659
that she's gonna
find out the truth.
40
00:01:25,811 --> 00:01:28,570
The librarian, Mrs. Feldspar,
does this one-woman show called
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Book Worm By Day,
Magazine Snake By Night.
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Russell, just got a call.
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00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,168
Joshua misplaced
his retainer today.
44
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-You know the drill.
-We're on it.
45
00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:38,413
Guys, this is
a full-campus can scan.
46
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,674
Look in every bin,
un-ball every muffin wrapper,
47
00:01:40,826 --> 00:01:43,268
rip open every juice box
and see what she's hiding.
48
00:01:43,495 --> 00:01:44,919
Joshua may have lost
the retainer,
49
00:01:45,013 --> 00:01:47,439
-but he didn't lose us.
-10-4. I'll head north.
50
00:01:47,591 --> 00:01:48,923
Oh, Moon, don't you want
to go with Quinn
51
00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:50,275
because you have
a crush on her and...
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Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shut up, Russell.
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00:01:52,338 --> 00:01:53,445
I don't have a crush on her.
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00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:55,021
But, at my birthday party,
you said...
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00:01:55,174 --> 00:01:57,449
I said I put a curse on her.
You misheard me.
56
00:01:57,601 --> 00:02:00,677
My mistake. I must've had
too much licorice that night.
57
00:02:00,696 --> 00:02:02,028
Well, no crushes here,
58
00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:04,681
but I guess I'll go with her
just to make you happy.
59
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:07,517
-Aw. Thanks, Moon.
-Hey, Quinn, wait up.
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No retainer. Someone did
throw away a tooth, though.
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00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,855
I put it in my pocket
to get five bucks
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00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,948
out of my mom tonight. I already
lost all my baby teeth,
63
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:17,118
but I'm gonna tell her I grew
one out of the top of my mouth.
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00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,637
She's very gullible.
65
00:02:18,788 --> 00:02:19,863
Uh, Moon,
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00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,381
are you organizing
all the trash?
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00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:23,958
-That is very weird.
-It is?
68
00:02:24,052 --> 00:02:25,793
Are you really asking me
if it's weird
69
00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:27,980
to organize trash
into a neat grid?
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00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:30,223
Yeah. I did it just to,
uh, make you laugh,
71
00:02:30,392 --> 00:02:31,799
and now it's all messed up
72
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,802
and normal, and we can forget
about it forever. Great.
73
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,488
-Find anything?
-Nope.
74
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,306
But Moon was putting
his trash into a weird pattern.
75
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,716
As a joke.
(chuckles)
76
00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:42,310
All right, the only room left
is Mr. Golovkin's.
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00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,812
If it's not there,
it's in God's mouth now.
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00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,649
QUINN:
Receipt for
Jazz Hits of the '60s
79
00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,409
and... a love letter?
80
00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:52,078
The bottom's torn off,
but I assume it ended
81
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,897
with a big ol' lipstick kiss.
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00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,507
Oh, it's to Ms. Anderson.
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00:02:55,659 --> 00:02:57,342
That's a pretty good secret.
Right, Quinn?
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00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,419
Russell, no.
Everyone knows about them.
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00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,088
Remember? Corine saw them
kissing near the VCR store.
86
00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:05,091
-(gasps) The retainer!
-Another successful rescue.
87
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,260
Joshua's teeth
can rest easy tonight.
88
00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:10,355
So, uh, today was pretty fun.
89
00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:11,839
All the, uh, trash.
90
00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:14,860
Now I know what all the hubbub
is about dumpster diving.
91
00:03:15,087 --> 00:03:17,087
Yeah. It sucks that we
have to wait a whole week
92
00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:18,922
until we can do
Junior Janitors again.
93
00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:21,425
I mean, because
the janitor stuff was fun,
94
00:03:21,443 --> 00:03:22,684
not because I want
to hang out with you.
95
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:23,869
Oh, yeah, no, me neither.
96
00:03:24,096 --> 00:03:25,946
I don't care about you,
like, at all.
97
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:28,022
Same. I barely noticed
you were there.
98
00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:29,766
Oh, me, too. Yup.
99
00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:32,118
But it is gonna be a long time
with no new teacher secrets,
100
00:03:32,271 --> 00:03:33,620
and I'll miss that part,
not you.
101
00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:36,440
Yes, I will miss that part, too.
The teacher secrets.
102
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,475
-Definitely.
-Well, if you find out
anything weird
103
00:03:38,477 --> 00:03:40,460
about teachers,
I guess, let me know.
104
00:03:40,612 --> 00:03:41,611
I could do that.
105
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Unless, you're
too busy organizing
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rotting banana peels
or something.
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That's my ride.
108
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,709
Hey, Mom, a tooth
just fell out of my ear.
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To the bank, milady.
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(sighs) There she goes,
the perfect woman.
111
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:53,623
-Hello, Mr. Golovkin.
-Aah!
112
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-You're here late.
-Don't sneak up on people.
113
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I didn't sneak. I was standing
here the whole time.
114
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Well, I didn't see you.
You should be taller.
115
00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:01,815
-What's with that big pot?
-It's nothing.
116
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,633
I'm cooking someone...
for someone.
117
00:04:03,652 --> 00:04:04,801
I'm cooking for a friend.
118
00:04:04,894 --> 00:04:06,394
And also,
it's none of your business
119
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,913
and I was never here.
Okay? Great. Bye.
120
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:11,232
Hm, Mr. Golovkin stealing
a giant pot from school.
121
00:04:11,326 --> 00:04:13,159
Seems like
hot teacher goss to me.
122
00:04:13,312 --> 00:04:14,736
Better tell Quinn about it.
123
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HONEYBEE: Ugh, I hate that we
have to do this at night.
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I'm freezing.
My butt cheeks are like ice.
125
00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:20,650
I love wildlife,
but not like this.
126
00:04:20,744 --> 00:04:23,487
I hate it, too, I know. But we
have to use the cover of night
127
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to find crab skeletons
to photograph.
128
00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:27,248
'Cause if my family
finds out what we're up to,
129
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-we'll be living in an RV in
Ketchikan by tomorrow morning.
-Ooh!
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There's one. Remember to use
your crab corpse checking stick
131
00:04:33,165 --> 00:04:34,255
to make sure it's dead, babe.
132
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:36,016
You've already been pinched
to hell tonight.
133
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,851
Well, would you look
at this delicious crab cake.
134
00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:39,611
I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have said that.
135
00:04:39,763 --> 00:04:41,763
You probably lost
a lot of family that way.
136
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,341
And I'll just put
your little crab arm like so.
137
00:04:44,359 --> 00:04:46,510
-(knock on door)
-BEEF: Hello,
knife-sharpening fairy.
138
00:04:46,512 --> 00:04:48,178
-(Wolf gasps)
-Anyone have anything for me?
139
00:04:48,196 --> 00:04:50,122
-Dad! Uh, uh, Dad.
-(gasps)
140
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:52,291
Good God!
Not whims-idermy!
141
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:53,533
I know what this looks like,
142
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,368
but we were not posing
dead animals whimsically
143
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,536
for our pleasure.
144
00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:58,355
Don't lie to me.
You are clearly staging
145
00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:00,299
dead wildlife
in amusing scenarios.
146
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,025
We don't do that in this family.
147
00:05:02,044 --> 00:05:04,619
(clears throat)
"Wolf and Honeybee,
148
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,305
"when you use crab skeletons
149
00:05:06,532 --> 00:05:08,715
for your personal pleasure,
it hurts me because..."
150
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:11,034
Guys, no need for an
intervention, we can explain.
151
00:05:11,053 --> 00:05:13,145
We know it's wrong
to pose dead wildlife
152
00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:14,980
in a wacky and lighthearted way.
153
00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:17,465
But this shell-sherad is unholy.
It's unholy,
154
00:05:17,559 --> 00:05:19,376
and I frown on it
with all my might.
155
00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:20,819
And I frown with my father.
156
00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:22,988
Read you loud and clear,
but the thing is,
157
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,806
Honeybee and I were gonna enter
158
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,217
the Alaska Fisherman's
Coalition calendar competition,
159
00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,902
where whims-idermy
reigns supreme.
160
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,330
Remember last year's winner,
the Badger Barbecue?
161
00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:33,390
They all had those
cute little aprons on.
162
00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:35,334
That's why our theme
was Crab Cowboys.
163
00:05:35,485 --> 00:05:38,228
But, Wolf, we never go
to the calendar competition
164
00:05:38,246 --> 00:05:40,246
and we throw
the calendar itself away
165
00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:41,581
when the free one
arrives in the mail.
166
00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:44,125
Yeah, but we wanted to win
the competition this year
167
00:05:44,236 --> 00:05:45,510
because, well... we wanted to...
168
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:46,678
(sighs)
win a honeymoon.
169
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,162
What are you talking about?
170
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,756
This year's calendar winner
gets a three-night stay
171
00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:52,333
at The Swan and the Scone
Bed and Breakfast in Fairbanks.
172
00:05:52,502 --> 00:05:53,852
We were thinking it'd be like
a mini-honeymoon.
173
00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:55,428
We never had one.
After the wedding,
174
00:05:55,581 --> 00:05:57,171
we just drove Honeybee's family
to the airport
175
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:58,264
and the van broke down.
176
00:05:58,417 --> 00:05:59,933
Oh, yeah, and I barfed a bunch
177
00:06:00,085 --> 00:06:02,009
because I ate 15 pieces
of wedding cake
178
00:06:02,104 --> 00:06:04,571
and the little plastic
bride and groom on top.
179
00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:05,772
I assumed they were candy.
180
00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:07,774
Well, I want to help you
achieve this dream,
181
00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:11,111
but there must be a way we can
make a great crab calendar
182
00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:12,854
without posing their corpses.
183
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,189
A way to show everybody
that whims-idermy
184
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,541
is not necessary to win.
185
00:06:16,768 --> 00:06:18,101
Yeah, we can all help you win.
186
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,360
It's a deal.
187
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,362
Time to put the "crab"
back in "crab-lendar."
188
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,864
Getting crabs with my dad.
189
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,083
-This is what life is all about.
-Babe, no.
190
00:06:25,235 --> 00:06:26,218
MOON:
All right, guys,
191
00:06:26,445 --> 00:06:28,612
emergency
Junior Janitor business.
192
00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:30,055
After you left last night,
193
00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:31,890
I saw Mr. Golovkin
take a giant metal pot
194
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,542
from school after-hours
so no one would see him.
195
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,345
I'm thinking we should do
some extra Junior Janitoring
196
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,305
this week to figure out
what's going on.
197
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:41,124
You think he's cooking
something weird?
198
00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:42,959
-Like something illegal?
-Like drugs?
199
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,144
(gasps)
Or alcohol?
200
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:47,313
Well, he did say
he was cooking someone,
201
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,633
but then he said he was
cooking for someone, so...
202
00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:51,801
Oh, my God!
He must have murdered someone
203
00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:53,245
and now he's making them
into soup.
204
00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,321
-Uh, I doubt he's...
-But who did he kill?
205
00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:56,973
(gasps)
Wait, there was a sub
206
00:06:56,992 --> 00:06:58,475
in Ms. Anderson's class
this morning.
207
00:06:58,568 --> 00:07:00,252
Oh, my God, the torn-up note.
208
00:07:00,479 --> 00:07:01,811
It probably ended with,
"I love you,
209
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,663
but I'm a serial killer
and I'm gonna murder you."
210
00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:06,741
Better go see what
that maniac is up to now.
211
00:07:07,653 --> 00:07:09,335
Boring.
He's just drinking coffee.
212
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,154
(gasps)
But look at his mug.
213
00:07:11,173 --> 00:07:13,915
"Don't talk to me
before I've had my coffee or
214
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,268
-I'll kill you!" (gasps)
-Oh, my God.
215
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:19,604
Well, janitors, looks like we
have a crime scene to clean up.
216
00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:25,426
Okay, let's run down
the facts we know.
217
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,779
Fact one: Mr. Golovkin
murdered Ms. Anderson.
218
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:29,948
Fact two: he's planning
to cook her body.
219
00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:31,616
Fact three: facts one and two
could be wrong
220
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:34,453
and they're slow-roasting a
big ol' batch of breaking bads.
221
00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:36,196
Look, either one of you
could be right,
222
00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,364
and we definitely need to spend
a lot of time together
223
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:39,849
to figure it out.
224
00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:42,018
What if we all followed
Mr. Golovkin after school,
225
00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:44,278
or just me and Quinn
if you're busy, Russell.
226
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,022
-Free as a bird.
-Wonderful.
227
00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:47,857
We can tail him
on my family's snow machine.
228
00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:49,876
My mom lets me drive it
as long as I wear my helmet,
229
00:07:50,028 --> 00:07:52,712
but sometimes, I don't cinch
the chin strap all the way.
230
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:54,639
-It chafes.
-Bad ass.
231
00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:57,309
I'll need my janitorial go-bag.
It's mostly candy,
232
00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:59,703
but there's a couple
useful things in here, too.
233
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:00,979
Oh, and is it okay if I sandwich
234
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:02,814
in between you guys
on the snow machine?
235
00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:05,484
-I get very cold.
-Ugh, sure.
236
00:08:06,878 --> 00:08:10,137
Ugh, those must be
Mr. Golovkin's murderer friends.
237
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,490
Say no to drugs, kids,
238
00:08:11,717 --> 00:08:13,883
'cause this is the result,
and it ain't pretty.
239
00:08:13,902 --> 00:08:16,995
QUINN:
They must be wearing the train
conductor outfits as disguises.
240
00:08:17,222 --> 00:08:19,647
It's probably how they
travel the world murdering
241
00:08:19,741 --> 00:08:20,724
and don't get caught.
242
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:22,909
Yeah, those evil bastards.
243
00:08:23,061 --> 00:08:25,228
And they probably brought
those little train whistles
244
00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:26,671
so they can blow them
to celebrate
245
00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,507
Mr. Golovkin's latest kill.
246
00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:29,824
What a bunch of sickos.
247
00:08:29,918 --> 00:08:31,918
Oh, he's on the move.
Let's go.
248
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,678
(whistles)
249
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,238
Look at that fancy drug den
250
00:08:35,257 --> 00:08:36,740
paid for
with cocaine and murders.
251
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:37,849
(scoffs)
Must be nice.
252
00:08:38,076 --> 00:08:39,851
He's headed to the basement.
Follow me.
253
00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:41,427
MR. GOLOVKIN:
You stay right there.
I'll be back, and then
254
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,580
-I'll finish you off.
-Oh, God,
255
00:08:43,598 --> 00:08:45,172
he does have
Ms. Anderson in there.
256
00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:46,599
I'm actually slightly scared.
257
00:08:46,752 --> 00:08:49,194
I've got a free hand to hold
if anyone needs it.
258
00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:51,530
I'll take you up on that.
Thanks, buddy.
259
00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:52,772
-Mm.
-Ah.
260
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,591
-That hits the spot.
-(car door opens)
261
00:08:54,609 --> 00:08:56,276
He's leaving.
262
00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:58,203
Time to rescue Ms. Anderson.
263
00:08:58,354 --> 00:09:02,040
Ah, there's my Star Trek
stress ball. Thank God.
264
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:03,767
-(grunts) We're in.
-(grunts)
265
00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:06,119
QUINN:
(gasps) That must be
his kill room.
266
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,379
There's the pot from school.
267
00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:09,789
Ugh, these drugs
smell like vinegar.
268
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,124
There's some kind of blob
in there,
269
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,884
and it's... (gasps)
it's floating up.
270
00:09:13,036 --> 00:09:13,885
(all scream)
271
00:09:14,037 --> 00:09:15,536
Is that Ms. Anderson?
272
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,371
We'll save you, Ms. Anderson.
We'll get you out of there.
273
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:18,615
(kids scream)
274
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:19,874
-(grunts)
-Ow!
275
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,876
Did you throw
a Skittle at my eye?
276
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,621
Please, don't cook us
in your drug pot.
277
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:26,881
Okay, guys, Honeybee and I
need that h-moon,
278
00:09:26,975 --> 00:09:28,474
and we need
to pull out all the stops,
279
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,460
but we also don't want
to be d-bags
280
00:09:30,478 --> 00:09:33,463
who are using crab corpses
for sick entertainment purposes,
281
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:34,573
like Dad said, so...
282
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:36,466
-Ta-da.
-Oh, boy.
283
00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:39,152
We will place the little diapers
on the live crabs,
284
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:40,561
so they'll look
like Baby New Years.
285
00:09:40,655 --> 00:09:42,747
Grab some quick pictures
in front of this backdrop,
286
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:45,900
and then we will very
respectfully eat these bad boys.
287
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,754
Okay, um, great plan, guys.
I just am not sure we can, uh,
288
00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:53,666
make the crabs stand still
or put the costumes on them.
289
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,501
I don't know if you guys
know this,
290
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,596
but crabs love to pinch.
291
00:09:57,823 --> 00:10:00,156
Way ahead of you, buddy.
That's what the gloves are for.
292
00:10:00,249 --> 00:10:02,583
All right, I'm gonna grab
them up, and then... Ow, ow!
293
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:05,120
-Aah! Aah!
-(all scream)
-Hold still, son.
294
00:10:05,254 --> 00:10:07,497
Let me just... Oh, no!
He's got my mustache!
295
00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:09,608
-Honeybee, grab the diaper!
-I got it, I got it.
296
00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:10,775
(overlapping shouting)
297
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:12,852
-Watch it.
-No, not my beautiful face!
298
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,096
We're all gonna die!
299
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:17,598
-That Skittle
really hurt, Russell.
-Sorry.
300
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,767
Now, what on earth are you
children doing in my home?
301
00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:22,269
We're the ones that should be
asking the questions.
302
00:10:22,364 --> 00:10:24,197
Oh, really?
And why is that?
303
00:10:24,349 --> 00:10:25,481
Because you're a murderer.
304
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:27,350
You cooked Ms. Anderson
in that pot.
305
00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,035
Or drugs.
We haven't decided yet.
306
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,795
(laughs)
I'm sorry.
307
00:10:31,022 --> 00:10:32,797
It's very funny to me that you
think I cooked a woman in a pot.
308
00:10:33,024 --> 00:10:36,542
No, I'm afraid that pot merely
contains my homebrew kombucha.
309
00:10:36,695 --> 00:10:38,786
Are you guys bored
and doing a Rear Window?
310
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,287
-A what?
-You see that poster?
311
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,365
You're doing that movie.
That's what you're doing.
312
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,309
You saw me do, like,
one suspicious thing
313
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:45,718
and then decided
I was a murderer.
314
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:48,146
-So, Ms. Anderson...
-Is fine.
315
00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,131
She's at home on a staycation.
316
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:51,391
In fact, she just posted a meme
317
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,485
of The Incredible Hulk
getting into a hot tub
318
00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:55,136
that says, "Hulk Splash,"
319
00:10:55,230 --> 00:10:57,380
and captioned it,
"I'm living my best life."
320
00:10:57,399 --> 00:10:59,215
It's me that everyone
should be concerned about.
321
00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:00,492
She broke up with me
322
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,994
on the literal day
she was going to move in here.
323
00:11:03,221 --> 00:11:04,478
I've been distracting myself
by making
324
00:11:04,572 --> 00:11:06,373
an extra big batch
of my favorite drink
325
00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:08,983
using that pot that, yes,
you did catch me stealing
326
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,317
from school, but now it's ruined
327
00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:11,836
because a child
broke into my home
328
00:11:12,063 --> 00:11:14,655
and threw Skittles in it because
he thought I boiled a lady.
329
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:17,083
So, what exactly happened
with Ms. Anderson?
330
00:11:17,235 --> 00:11:20,345
Sure, let me tell a bunch
of children about it, why not?
331
00:11:20,496 --> 00:11:22,238
I was in love
with a dame, you see.
332
00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:24,741
And yes, I am telling this
in the style of a film noir.
333
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:27,744
Deal with it. Like I was saying,
this dame was
334
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:29,170
all set to shuffle
her deck with mine,
335
00:11:29,264 --> 00:11:30,580
but she had a request.
336
00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:32,190
I had some time to think
on the drive over, Theodore.
337
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:34,025
When I move in,
how's about you reroute
338
00:11:34,252 --> 00:11:36,436
the train set that goes
through the family room?
339
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,846
Thataway, when our gals
and pals come over,
340
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,514
then we don't have to
step over it,
341
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,367
and maybe we can take the tracks
out of the bathroom, too,
342
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,610
so it doesn't roll through there
when I'm taking a pee.
343
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,263
Ah, Mary, you know I'd do near
about anything for you, kid,
344
00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:49,115
but the train's
impossible to move.
345
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:50,450
That's where it goes.
346
00:11:50,602 --> 00:11:52,210
It's a scale model
of the Santa Fe Railroad,
347
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,694
so it has to follow its route.
348
00:11:53,788 --> 00:11:55,121
If I move it, it's chaos, baby,
349
00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:57,531
and the whole kit and caboodle
goes kablooey, see.
350
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,609
Well, then maybe we move
some of your memorabilia
351
00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,386
out of the house.
That can move real easy.
352
00:12:01,613 --> 00:12:04,055
Thataway, I'd have some space
for my stuff.
353
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,966
Ah, see, again, Mary,
it's all in the right spot.
354
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,226
Impossible to move.
355
00:12:08,453 --> 00:12:09,469
Well, could you at least
stop making
356
00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:11,137
that gross vinegar drink
in the house?
357
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,380
The whole place
stinks like a rat.
358
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,567
Oh, baby, I would if I could,
but I can't.
359
00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:17,126
I needs it for my digestion.
360
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:18,552
And that's when she used
361
00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:20,480
those gorgeous getaway sticks
to run out on me.
362
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:22,389
Now she's letting
a big green guy with muscles
363
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,075
sitting in a jacuzzi
do all her talking.
364
00:12:24,152 --> 00:12:25,392
So, she broke up with you
365
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,320
because you didn't
want to move your toys
366
00:12:27,472 --> 00:12:29,730
that you had carefully
and weirdly organized?
367
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,584
They are not toys, they are
very adult collectible items.
368
00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:34,327
But here's a little warning.
If any of you guys
369
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,479
like to organize stuff,
just give it up now.
370
00:12:36,539 --> 00:12:38,831
-Moon likes to organize garbage.
-I don't. No, that's...
371
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,426
Well, cut it out, young man,
'cause that's a one-way ticket
372
00:12:41,653 --> 00:12:43,410
to dying alone.
Russell, I swear to God.
373
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,488
Yup. Uh...
(chuckles) Sorry.
374
00:12:45,507 --> 00:12:47,599
MR. GOLOVKIN:
If any of you guys
like to organize stuff,
375
00:12:47,826 --> 00:12:48,767
you better give it up now,
376
00:12:48,918 --> 00:12:50,101
'cause that's a one-way ticket
377
00:12:50,328 --> 00:12:51,844
to dying alone...
378
00:12:52,013 --> 00:12:54,421
alone... alone... alone.
379
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,850
Organized by date found
and number of legs.
380
00:12:58,003 --> 00:12:59,426
Organized by season,
381
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,686
size, and color.
382
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,672
Lined up in order of height.
383
00:13:02,765 --> 00:13:05,366
Oh, no. I'm a Golovkin.
384
00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:16,035
Well, that's it, buster.
I'm all packed and moving out.
385
00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:18,688
And I'm taking our kids,
Calliope and Jim.
386
00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:19,631
Both of 'em, huh?
387
00:13:19,782 --> 00:13:21,541
Yeah.
There's no room for us here
388
00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:23,709
with all your organized stuff,
you hear me?
389
00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:26,696
Yeah, well, I need to have
a bunch of bugs and stuff
390
00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:28,622
perfectly arranged in my house,
391
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:31,217
so bye-bye to you and Jim
and the other one.
392
00:13:31,369 --> 00:13:33,294
All right then.
(blows raspberry)
393
00:13:33,388 --> 00:13:34,203
Gah!
394
00:13:34,222 --> 00:13:35,980
What do women like?
395
00:13:36,132 --> 00:13:39,392
Oh. Whoa. Wow.
Yeah, lot of image results.
396
00:13:39,544 --> 00:13:41,894
That's a gal with boobs
near a tractor.
397
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,396
Okay, scrolling down.
398
00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:46,049
Okay, now this lady's
shoveling hay without pants.
399
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:49,310
What is going on on this farm?
Let's shift gears.
400
00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:51,070
New search.
This should be safe.
401
00:13:51,222 --> 00:13:52,997
"Too organized."
402
00:13:53,224 --> 00:13:55,058
Wait, what's "ocked"?
403
00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:57,393
Oh, OCD? Huh.
404
00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:59,963
Hm... Welp.
405
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,465
No.
406
00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:05,510
Go away.
407
00:14:05,737 --> 00:14:07,570
I can't. Mr. Golovkin,
I'm here to move in with you
408
00:14:07,663 --> 00:14:10,664
because we are both full freaks
that no woman could ever love.
409
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,500
What on earth are you
yammering about, Moon?
410
00:14:13,578 --> 00:14:14,744
You have your
weird little trains.
411
00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:17,747
I have my cataloged insects
and my owl decoys
412
00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:21,192
and my very organized collection
of off-brand Smurfs, the Smarps.
413
00:14:21,269 --> 00:14:23,252
Moon, you have got to start
making sense right now
414
00:14:23,271 --> 00:14:26,272
-or I'm calling the police.
-Mr. Golovkin, I've learned,
415
00:14:26,424 --> 00:14:28,441
after 15 minutes
of Internet research,
416
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,685
that we both probably have
obsessive-compulsive disorder.
417
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:34,372
Moon, I don't have OCD.
That's what Monk had.
418
00:14:34,523 --> 00:14:36,690
I don't wash my hands that much
and I don't solve crimes.
419
00:14:36,784 --> 00:14:38,877
Okay, but do you ever feel like
one little thing
420
00:14:39,028 --> 00:14:42,271
being out of order might lead
to chaos, horror, and death?
421
00:14:42,365 --> 00:14:43,715
Of course, because it will.
Goodbye.
422
00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:46,626
So, if you don't have OCD,
then you could change that stuff
423
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,444
that Ms. Anderson wanted you to.
424
00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:50,204
Like, it wouldn't bother you
if we went in
425
00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:51,447
and rearranged some stuff.
426
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:52,873
Oh, I don't know.
Would it bother you
427
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:54,784
if I went into your room
and rearranged
428
00:14:54,802 --> 00:14:56,786
your diaper collection
because you're a little baby?
429
00:14:56,955 --> 00:14:58,712
Sorry, Moon.
That was out of line.
430
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:01,140
Look, you're my student.
You're here on a Saturday.
431
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,901
I highly doubt
you care that much
432
00:15:03,128 --> 00:15:05,570
about my personal relationships.
What is this really about?
433
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,389
Fine. I have a curse...
434
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,723
a crush on Quinn,
435
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,410
and she made fun of me
for organizing some stuff,
436
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,970
specifically some trash.
437
00:15:13,988 --> 00:15:15,638
Yup, yup, I see.
You're scared you're me,
438
00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:17,916
and I accidentally
told an actual student
439
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,250
he was gonna die alone,
440
00:15:19,477 --> 00:15:20,901
and it would probably
make you feel better
441
00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:22,828
to see that I could change.
442
00:15:22,981 --> 00:15:24,571
-Worth a shot?
-Oh, screw it.
443
00:15:24,666 --> 00:15:26,816
My life could literally
not get worse right now.
444
00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:30,670
A child in bear pajamas is
giving me mental health advice.
445
00:15:30,822 --> 00:15:32,171
This is it, this is rock bottom.
446
00:15:32,323 --> 00:15:33,656
Might as well steer
into the skid.
447
00:15:33,675 --> 00:15:36,325
Okay, guys,
it's looking great down here,
448
00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:37,510
so come down when you're ready.
449
00:15:37,662 --> 00:15:39,920
Renting these costumes
was a great idea.
450
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,331
All the fun of posing wildlife,
none of the danger.
451
00:15:42,425 --> 00:15:44,333
Yes, this is
much more dignified.
452
00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:45,685
Also, very hard to walk in.
453
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,020
They are somehow both top-heavy
and bottom-heavy.
454
00:15:48,097 --> 00:15:50,615
Yeah, we really should've
put these on downstairs.
455
00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:51,674
(shouts)
456
00:15:51,693 --> 00:15:53,009
(gasps)
Babe, you okay?
457
00:15:53,027 --> 00:15:55,361
WOLF:
I'm fine, maybe.
Maybe a broken arm.
458
00:15:55,513 --> 00:15:56,955
I'm coming down to help.
Aah!
459
00:15:57,182 --> 00:15:59,031
-Aah! A-Aah!
-(grunts)
460
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,017
-My turn, I guess.
-Son, no!
461
00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:02,276
-Whoa!
-Crabdammit!
462
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,370
-(all groaning)
-Okay, well,
463
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,463
that went perfectly.
464
00:16:05,614 --> 00:16:08,282
Okay, so maybe
we clear out the shed
465
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,616
and move the kombucha kit
out here,
466
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,493
so your house doesn't
stink like a rat.
467
00:16:11,546 --> 00:16:14,138
Impossible. Where would
all of my shed equipment go?
468
00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:16,365
-The garage.
-Oh, sure, shed equipment
469
00:16:16,459 --> 00:16:18,125
in a garage, that's a thing.
470
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,460
Listen, just take the shovel
471
00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:21,220
off of the wall hook,
place it on the ground,
472
00:16:21,372 --> 00:16:23,206
and put something else
in its place.
473
00:16:23,224 --> 00:16:25,374
(scoffs) All right. Sounds
pretty stupid, but, honestly,
474
00:16:25,426 --> 00:16:28,711
I'm surprised it's not
something more stupid.
475
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:30,546
Nope, nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope, nope.
476
00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:32,732
That's not where it goes.
The Weedwacker goes here
477
00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:34,233
and the shovel... the shovel...
478
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,809
-Mr. Golovkin, no.
-(grunts) Moon,
479
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:38,571
that shovel has a place, and
that place is not in your hand.
480
00:16:38,723 --> 00:16:39,739
-(grunts)
-Hey!
481
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,724
Let me out of here this instant.
Help. Help.
482
00:16:41,743 --> 00:16:44,460
A child has moved my shovel from
its proper place in the shed!
483
00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:49,915
This is kidnapping,
or adult-napping by kid.
484
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,676
Regardless,
release me immediately.
485
00:16:51,903 --> 00:16:53,085
Um, no.
486
00:16:53,238 --> 00:16:54,369
I don't like
being alone in here.
487
00:16:54,422 --> 00:16:56,072
I'm gonna get trapped
in my brain.
488
00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:57,849
Okay, great, now I am stuck
in my head.
489
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,335
-You are?
-Oh, and there is a little
imaginary you here, too.
490
00:17:01,429 --> 00:17:03,929
-Wonderful.
-So, this is inside your head?
491
00:17:04,082 --> 00:17:06,566
-It's nice. Like the curtains.
-Yup, whenever I get stressed,
492
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:09,435
this clockhole shows up and
starts ringing his alarm bells.
493
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,104
I have no idea who he is, but
he is desperate for attention.
494
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,698
Hi, little fella.
I'm OCD.
495
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:17,093
Do you ever think about
how messed-up everything is?
496
00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:18,778
Me too. All the time.
497
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,946
♪ Well, you can
catch a disease ♪
498
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,598
♪ Or your girlfriend
could cheat ♪
499
00:17:22,691 --> 00:17:24,542
♪ You could get gangrene
in your feet ♪
500
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:26,452
♪ Plus, an earthquake
could happen ♪
501
00:17:26,529 --> 00:17:28,104
♪ Sending glass
shattering down ♪
502
00:17:28,197 --> 00:17:29,863
♪ Then it slices off
your nipples ♪
503
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,457
♪ Drops them
right on the ground ♪
504
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,792
♪ If you don't line up
your crap ♪
505
00:17:32,944 --> 00:17:34,701
♪ Or occasionally lick a table ♪
506
00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:36,721
♪ You'll probably get cancer
from an underground cable ♪
507
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,130
♪ Ah... ♪
508
00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:39,448
All reasonable concerns.
509
00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:41,893
So, OCD isn't just about
washing hands
510
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,135
or, like, arranging pencils?
511
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,711
Oh, no, that's just TV OCD.
512
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:47,123
I'm actually a disabling pattern
of disturbing obsessions
513
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,308
and repetitive behaviors
that make it very hard
514
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,718
to live a normal life.
I'm a stone-cold freak.
515
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,463
♪ Obsess about the thing
you said at work ♪
516
00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:56,148
♪ I think Pam was offended ♪
517
00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:57,408
♪ She made a strange smirk ♪
518
00:17:57,635 --> 00:17:59,077
♪ And you didn't
check the stove ♪
519
00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:01,061
♪ Better call
your neighbor, Brian ♪
520
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,805
♪ Maybe you didn't unplug
the curling iron, hmm? ♪
521
00:18:02,824 --> 00:18:04,565
I don't have a curling iron.
522
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,084
♪ But maybe someone
snuck into your house ♪
523
00:18:06,235 --> 00:18:07,585
♪ And plugged one in
while you were away... ♪
524
00:18:07,812 --> 00:18:09,478
-Oh, my God.
-Yeah, I mean...
525
00:18:09,497 --> 00:18:11,664
♪ What if, for some reason,
you eat your own eyes ♪
526
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:14,667
♪ There's so many
interesting ways to die... ♪
527
00:18:14,819 --> 00:18:16,910
Stop!
Wow, I just...
528
00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:19,580
I can't believe how much
of my time I've given this guy.
529
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,324
Oh, no, you don't like me?
530
00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:23,326
Fine, maybe I'll go in
the little kid's head instead.
531
00:18:23,419 --> 00:18:25,103
Uh-uh!
You stay away from me.
532
00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:28,681
♪ You've been
my lifelong companion ♪
533
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,091
♪ And maybe I'm a little stuck ♪
534
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:34,112
♪ So, I guess
I'll try some therapy ♪
535
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:35,780
♪ 'Cause, frankly ♪
536
00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:40,009
-♪ Buddy, you suck ♪
-♪ Buddy, you suck ♪
537
00:18:40,027 --> 00:18:42,528
♪ Buddy, you suck. ♪
538
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,364
-(Mr. Golovkin humming a tune)
-Uh, Mr. Golovkin?
539
00:18:45,516 --> 00:18:46,682
You okay in there?
540
00:18:46,701 --> 00:18:49,067
You've just been humming
for, like, five minutes.
541
00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:50,444
Yes.
I was just imagining
542
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,630
I was in a big 1930s-style
musical with a clock,
543
00:18:52,857 --> 00:18:55,466
and you were there, too,
in a tiny tuxedo... Never mind.
544
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:57,117
-Oh. Okay.
-(sighs)
545
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,377
Okay, Moon.
It's time.
546
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,471
You win. Let's take this stuff
to the garage.
547
00:19:00,698 --> 00:19:03,048
MOON:
Mr. Golovkin,
is that everything?
548
00:19:03,201 --> 00:19:04,550
Are you okay?
549
00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:06,978
Yeah. I think you
actually helped me, Moon.
550
00:19:07,129 --> 00:19:09,038
And I don't think
you're gonna wind up like me
551
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,707
because if you...
if we have this thing,
552
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,966
well, you already know about it,
553
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,801
and that's great.
Also, we're not the same
554
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,562
because you'll never be able
to fully appreciate
555
00:19:16,714 --> 00:19:19,548
the genius of Jules Dassin.
He was a director.
556
00:19:19,642 --> 00:19:20,900
Look it up, and thank you.
557
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,310
The eagle has landed.
558
00:19:23,404 --> 00:19:25,145
-Hello, Mary.
-I got your text.
559
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,739
Thank you for coming.
And, again,
560
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,074
apologies for
the autocorrect snafu.
561
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,651
"I'm horny.
Penis forgive me"
562
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,171
was not how I intended
this conversation to start.
563
00:19:33,398 --> 00:19:35,173
It's okay.
I'm willing to hear you out.
564
00:19:35,324 --> 00:19:37,400
Great, because
I've made some changes.
565
00:19:37,418 --> 00:19:39,493
Okay, but if you just
gave everyone in Train Land
566
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,921
sunglasses again,
I shouldn't come in.
567
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,015
No, no, no. Please.
568
00:19:45,259 --> 00:19:47,501
Whoa, it is tense here.
569
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,428
Who knew the world
of competitive calendar-ing
570
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:50,596
would be so ruthless?
571
00:19:50,748 --> 00:19:52,748
Look, Wolf, Honeybee,
I know I resisted
572
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:55,918
doing your whims-idermy,
but several injuries later,
573
00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:58,938
I do see the wisdom
of working with cadavers
574
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,272
instead of live animals,
575
00:20:00,425 --> 00:20:02,867
so here's hoping
these crustacean cowpokes
576
00:20:03,018 --> 00:20:06,445
earn you the yee-holiday
of your dreams.
577
00:20:06,597 --> 00:20:08,372
This is the judges'
final walk-through.
578
00:20:08,524 --> 00:20:09,932
Whoever they award
the blue ribbon to gets
579
00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:12,025
-the three-night hotel stay.
-Oh, come on.
580
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,286
-Birds in ball gowns?
-HONEYBEE: Ugh.
Can't beat a classic.
581
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,105
Well, we didn't win a honeymoon,
582
00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,123
but we did get to go to three
different emergency rooms.
583
00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:20,534
Excuse me, Honeybee and Wolf,
how much would it be
584
00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:24,055
for me to acquire one of your
very fascinating crab calendars?
585
00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:26,115
They're uh... uh...
586
00:20:26,117 --> 00:20:27,374
-$40.
-Would you take $50?
587
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,043
For you Santiago,
let's call it $55.
588
00:20:30,137 --> 00:20:31,211
How about $100?
589
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,897
Keep going, babe.
Let's go to Maui.
590
00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:34,214
$300.
No, five.
591
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,624
QUINN:
Did you organize
592
00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:37,235
-all these?
-Yeah, according to height.
593
00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:39,070
But, look,
I'm tipping this one over,
594
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:41,130
and it doesn't even bother me.
595
00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:42,990
Whatever you say, Moon.
596
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:46,151
Hey, did I tell you
I found a photo album
597
00:20:46,304 --> 00:20:47,728
in Gibbons' desk drawer?
598
00:20:47,822 --> 00:20:50,397
It only has pictures of the
Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in it.
599
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,566
-Should we investigate?
-I'm in.
600
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:55,160
Because I like investigating,
not because I like you.
601
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,237
Oh, same.
Very, very the same.
602
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,482
♪ Well, I've seen things
you can't imagine ♪
603
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:01,575
♪ I've smelled smells
you just can't fathom ♪
604
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,594
♪ When someone barfs
on a chili day ♪
605
00:21:03,746 --> 00:21:06,672
♪ It's not an angel that takes
the stains away, it's me ♪
606
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,157
♪ 'Cause I'm a Junior Janitor ♪
607
00:21:08,175 --> 00:21:10,083
♪ A rat scuttlin' round
the cafeteria ♪
608
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,328
♪ A stomach flu
featuring diarrhea-ra ♪
609
00:21:12,497 --> 00:21:14,330
♪ You don't see it,
and you don't hear-a-ra ♪
610
00:21:14,499 --> 00:21:16,473
♪ But I protect you
'cause I'm a Junior Janitor ♪
611
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:18,592
♪ Someday, when my maker
comes to call ♪
612
00:21:18,669 --> 00:21:20,836
♪ I'll say, "Lord, I got
to stay here in these halls ♪
613
00:21:20,855 --> 00:21:22,838
♪ Looking for a kindergartner's
bouncy ball" ♪
614
00:21:22,857 --> 00:21:25,858
♪ 'Cause that's my job, yeah,
I'm a Junior Janitor ♪
615
00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:28,360
♪ You're a bunch of slobs
but I'm a Junior Janitor. ♪
616
00:21:28,437 --> 00:21:29,620
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
617
00:21:29,847 --> 00:21:31,347
and TOYOTA.
618
00:21:31,365 --> 00:21:32,957
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org