1 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:07,340 [Gunfire] 2 00:00:09,219 --> 00:00:11,219 [Gunfire] 3 00:00:16,338 --> 00:00:18,338 [Bursts of rapid fire] 4 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,076 [Clicking] 5 00:00:23,176 --> 00:00:25,176 [Rapid fire continues] 6 00:00:27,775 --> 00:00:30,065 [Gunshot] 7 00:00:30,174 --> 00:00:31,114 [Gunshot] 8 00:00:31,214 --> 00:00:32,274 Unh! 9 00:00:32,374 --> 00:00:34,374 [Rapid fire] 10 00:00:37,492 --> 00:00:38,672 [Gunshot] 11 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,832 Ugh! 12 00:00:40,931 --> 00:00:42,931 [Rapid fire] 13 00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:47,430 [Baby cooing] 14 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,070 [Sighs] 15 00:00:49,169 --> 00:00:51,189 [Rapid fire] 16 00:00:51,289 --> 00:00:53,289 [Clicking] 17 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:54,868 [Gunshot] 18 00:00:54,968 --> 00:00:56,968 Aah! 19 00:01:00,566 --> 00:01:02,506 Woman: Hello, John. 20 00:01:02,606 --> 00:01:04,946 Coming round for tea tonight? 21 00:01:05,045 --> 00:01:07,785 It's chicken pie. 22 00:01:07,885 --> 00:01:08,975 [Rapid fire] 23 00:01:09,084 --> 00:01:11,824 [Screaming] 24 00:01:11,924 --> 00:01:13,864 Major: Die! 25 00:01:13,963 --> 00:01:16,423 Parfit: Congratulations, DI Major. 26 00:01:16,522 --> 00:01:19,782 You shot your grandmother...again. 27 00:01:19,882 --> 00:01:22,142 You've obviously never tried her chicken pie. 28 00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:23,861 I told you these tests were pointless. 29 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,460 Major: Carver, is that you? 30 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,460 Parfit: The tests are essential. 31 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,980 I've installed a full software update. 32 00:01:30,079 --> 00:01:33,579 If it works, he'll have faster cognition with no more glitches. 33 00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:35,018 Major: Carver, were you in the room just now 34 00:01:35,118 --> 00:01:36,818 when I asked about getting porn on this? 35 00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:39,617 Carver: No, but thanks for bringing us up to speed. 36 00:01:39,716 --> 00:01:41,056 I need something to help me relax. 37 00:01:41,156 --> 00:01:42,136 [Gunshot] 38 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,656 Ouch! Fuck a duck. 39 00:01:44,755 --> 00:01:46,575 They filter the Internet in here. 40 00:01:46,675 --> 00:01:49,525 I'm making my own Photofit images to jerk off too. 41 00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:53,134 I mean, do you have any idea how humiliating that-- 42 00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:55,293 Hi. Hello. 43 00:01:55,392 --> 00:01:59,812 Parfit: These people are members of the AI Ethics Committee. 44 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,331 They're here to observe your new software update. 45 00:02:02,431 --> 00:02:04,331 How do you do? 46 00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:09,050 Carver: Don't think anyone wants to shake that now, mate. 47 00:02:09,149 --> 00:02:12,249 We haven't got time to sit here on our fannies. 48 00:02:12,348 --> 00:02:14,388 We've got crimes to solve. 49 00:02:20,426 --> 00:02:23,746 Fannies? You sure about this update? 50 00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:27,475 Parfit: As you can see, he's making... 51 00:02:27,584 --> 00:02:30,684 excellent progress. 52 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:32,783 [Static] 53 00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:38,482 Dennett: These maps show the locations 54 00:02:38,581 --> 00:02:40,281 of the 3 most recent incidents. 55 00:02:40,381 --> 00:02:42,521 Major: Well, the 3 points form a triangle. 56 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,360 That can't be a coincidence. 57 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,880 Any 3 points form a triangle. 58 00:02:46,979 --> 00:02:49,479 Dennett: This is the area where the fly-tipping is concentrated. 59 00:02:49,579 --> 00:02:50,959 We need you to get in there-- 60 00:02:51,058 --> 00:02:52,358 Carver: Fly-tipping? 61 00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:53,878 Wait. We're detective inspectors. 62 00:02:53,978 --> 00:02:55,838 You want us out there to catch litterbugs? 63 00:02:55,937 --> 00:02:57,637 After you cocked up last time, you're lucky you're not standing 64 00:02:57,737 --> 00:02:59,677 in the middle of the road holding a bloody great lollipop. 65 00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:02,156 We should be out there busting meth labs and pedophiles. 66 00:03:02,255 --> 00:03:03,755 Carver: "PEED-o-philes." Major: That's what I said, 67 00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:05,315 - "PEDD-o-philes." - "PEED-o-philes." 68 00:03:05,415 --> 00:03:07,025 Major: That's what I said, "PEDD-o-philes." 69 00:03:07,134 --> 00:03:08,834 This is your first case, John. I'm breaking you in gently, 70 00:03:08,934 --> 00:03:10,634 and, Carver, you're supposed to be supervising him, 71 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:13,913 not jumping off bloody carparks. 72 00:03:14,012 --> 00:03:17,512 I'll, uh, make sure he behaves, boss. 73 00:03:17,612 --> 00:03:20,872 Any, uh, progress on the investigation 74 00:03:20,971 --> 00:03:22,231 into my shooting? 75 00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:23,790 You stay well away from that, John. 76 00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:25,630 That's been Gilbert and Ryle's case from day one. 77 00:03:25,729 --> 00:03:27,229 Major: Gilbert and Ryle are crap. 78 00:03:27,329 --> 00:03:28,669 Carver: Leave it, leave it. 79 00:03:28,769 --> 00:03:30,989 We'll get you the results on this, boss. 80 00:03:31,088 --> 00:03:33,508 Come on. 81 00:03:33,607 --> 00:03:36,627 One more thing. Carver's right. 82 00:03:36,727 --> 00:03:39,807 3 points always make a triangle. 83 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,660 [Indistinct woman's voice on intercom] 84 00:04:05,759 --> 00:04:07,619 Major: What's going on, Roy? 85 00:04:07,719 --> 00:04:09,859 I want to know who shot me, and it's like no one cares. 86 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,858 Not Dennett, not Gilbert and Ryle. 87 00:04:11,958 --> 00:04:16,098 I mean, not even you seem-- what's this? 88 00:04:16,197 --> 00:04:18,677 Carver: My secret hobby for the last year. 89 00:04:21,515 --> 00:04:23,095 Don't get excited. 90 00:04:23,195 --> 00:04:26,525 I haven't found any answers. 91 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,254 Operation Blue Finch. 92 00:04:28,354 --> 00:04:30,214 Carver: Plus everything we know about your shooting-- 93 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:36,013 faces, wheels, known associates. 94 00:04:36,112 --> 00:04:40,012 Everything. 95 00:04:40,111 --> 00:04:41,931 What? 96 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:43,730 Don't look at me like that. It's weird. 97 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:45,450 Major: Don't deserve you, buddy. 98 00:04:45,549 --> 00:04:46,809 First you take the rap for the carpark thing, 99 00:04:46,909 --> 00:04:48,849 which was... technically my fault, 100 00:04:48,948 --> 00:04:51,648 and now this. 101 00:04:51,748 --> 00:04:53,408 What else you been taking care of for me? 102 00:04:53,507 --> 00:04:56,727 [Phone vibrates] 103 00:04:56,826 --> 00:04:58,826 Kelly. 104 00:05:07,903 --> 00:05:11,683 Kelly: Hiya. You all right? How you doing? 105 00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:14,442 Carver: Yeah, not too bad really--oh, sorry. 106 00:05:14,542 --> 00:05:17,042 You was talking to him. 107 00:05:17,141 --> 00:05:18,761 I didn't realize you were sleeping here. 108 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,321 I thought you had your own place. 109 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:21,680 I do have my own place, Kelly. 110 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,440 You just won't let me live in it. 111 00:05:23,539 --> 00:05:25,159 Kelly: What are these? Is it a Photofit image? 112 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,479 - Oh. Um... - What's that? 113 00:05:26,579 --> 00:05:30,199 Major: They're, uh, confidential. 114 00:05:30,298 --> 00:05:32,998 Kelly: Well, I, um, brought you over your things, so... 115 00:05:33,097 --> 00:05:34,677 You've come to say that we're through? 116 00:05:34,777 --> 00:05:36,677 - Do I need an attorney? - What? 117 00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:38,996 You mean, lawyer? Wha--no. 118 00:05:39,096 --> 00:05:43,866 I--I came here to ask you out for dinner... 119 00:05:43,974 --> 00:05:45,714 because I can't remember t he last time 120 00:05:45,814 --> 00:05:47,594 we had a meal together actually. 121 00:05:47,693 --> 00:05:49,833 OK. Well, it was the night that I got shot. 122 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,193 We had that big row. 123 00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:52,952 Roy was comforting you, and I remember think-- 124 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:57,512 I should be going. Give me a call later, yeah? 125 00:05:57,611 --> 00:05:59,751 Things are looking up. 126 00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,750 Yeah. 127 00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:04,010 I'll just be a minute, mate, yeah? 128 00:06:07,528 --> 00:06:10,548 Since when did I support Liverpool? 129 00:06:10,647 --> 00:06:12,947 Kelly? What--you taking him out for a date? 130 00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:14,747 - I need to talk to him. - What about talking to me? 131 00:06:14,846 --> 00:06:16,386 You've ignored me phone calls. 132 00:06:16,486 --> 00:06:18,546 Roy, these last few months have been amazing, 133 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,345 but, you know, it--it-it--it's like we've woken up, 134 00:06:21,445 --> 00:06:23,855 or more specifically, he's woken up. 135 00:06:23,964 --> 00:06:25,544 Carver: So, what? You just forget about us 136 00:06:25,644 --> 00:06:26,944 as if nothing's happened? 137 00:06:27,043 --> 00:06:28,623 I can't just dump John. He's vulnerable. 138 00:06:28,723 --> 00:06:30,423 You know, if he messes up, they're gonna-- 139 00:06:30,522 --> 00:06:31,982 they're--they're gonna switch him off. 140 00:06:32,082 --> 00:06:33,742 No. Bollocks will they switch him off. 141 00:06:33,842 --> 00:06:36,222 Look. He's fine. Parfit's fixed him. 142 00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:39,301 I ran a software update. 143 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,500 He won't let me test it, so... 144 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,180 I don't know if it worked. 145 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:45,179 This new software, is it American, by any chance? 146 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,579 Parfit: Why do you ask? 147 00:06:47,678 --> 00:06:50,018 Catch you later, baby doll. Come on, buddy. 148 00:06:50,117 --> 00:06:53,057 Time we hit that garbage dump. 149 00:06:53,157 --> 00:06:55,237 No reason in particular. 150 00:07:04,714 --> 00:07:06,414 Major: Diapers. Carver: Nappies. 151 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,973 - Aluminum cans. - Alu-MIN-ium. 152 00:07:09,073 --> 00:07:12,253 - I feel like a hobo. - Oh, for fuck's sake. 153 00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:14,332 Why won't you do Dr. Parfit's test? 154 00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:16,571 Look. I don't need to be tested. Right? 155 00:07:16,671 --> 00:07:20,651 'Cause I'm not a computer or a robot or a machine. 156 00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:24,130 - I'm augmented, that's all. - I know that, mate. 157 00:07:24,229 --> 00:07:26,849 It's a psychological test, not the Turing test. 158 00:07:26,948 --> 00:07:29,688 - What? - The Turing test, named af-- 159 00:07:29,787 --> 00:07:32,727 Alan Turing, the codebreaker. I know what the Turing test is. 160 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,287 You talk to someone for an hour, 161 00:07:34,386 --> 00:07:36,366 see whether you can tell if they're gay. 162 00:07:36,466 --> 00:07:39,046 It's definitely not that, mate. 163 00:07:39,145 --> 00:07:40,955 Hang on. What's this? 164 00:07:41,064 --> 00:07:42,884 - A cell phone. - Mobile. 165 00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,204 There's no sim. Might be able to get some data-- 166 00:07:45,303 --> 00:07:47,043 Major: Holy shit! A foot! 167 00:07:47,143 --> 00:07:51,363 - Jesus! - Uh, male. Size 10. 168 00:07:51,462 --> 00:07:53,042 No blood. Tissue damage indicates 169 00:07:53,141 --> 00:07:54,761 it was sawn off postmortem. 170 00:07:54,861 --> 00:07:57,361 - We're looking at a homicide. - Is it just as foot? 171 00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:58,880 But why would someone dump a single foot? 172 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:01,360 Major: Ritualistic? Partial tattoo suggests 173 00:08:01,459 --> 00:08:02,759 an occult significance. 174 00:08:02,859 --> 00:08:04,439 Shit, Major. Looks like we're back 175 00:08:04,539 --> 00:08:07,279 in Serious Crimes after all. 176 00:08:07,378 --> 00:08:08,998 - Oh! - What did you do that for? 177 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,437 - Sorry. - Fucking dickhead! 178 00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:13,537 Put it in a bag! 179 00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:20,265 Forensics said 6 hours for a full DNA analysis. 180 00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:23,154 Major: Judy, I need you to contact missing persons, 181 00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:24,554 try to I.D. this tattoo. 182 00:08:24,653 --> 00:08:26,313 OK, my name still isn't Judy, though. 183 00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:27,873 We're gonna crack this one, John. 184 00:08:27,973 --> 00:08:29,233 I can feel it. 185 00:08:29,332 --> 00:08:31,072 Ryle: Look who it is! Inspector Gadget. 186 00:08:31,172 --> 00:08:32,832 Major: Beat it, assholes. I'm busy. 187 00:08:32,931 --> 00:08:34,511 Gilbert: Yeah. Busy being interviewed 188 00:08:34,611 --> 00:08:39,951 by us...about your shooting. 189 00:08:40,049 --> 00:08:41,269 [Imitates gunshot] 190 00:08:41,369 --> 00:08:42,789 Heh. 191 00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:46,209 [Gunfire and static] 192 00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:49,907 You update Dennett on the foot. 193 00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,587 No, you found it. You deserve the credit. 194 00:08:51,686 --> 00:08:53,106 Major: There's no "I" in team, Roy. 195 00:08:53,206 --> 00:08:55,206 This one's yours. 196 00:09:03,444 --> 00:09:06,184 Don't be nervous, DI Major. We're not gonna charge you. 197 00:09:06,283 --> 00:09:07,903 Not unless your battery's low. 198 00:09:08,002 --> 00:09:09,822 Ha ha ha! 199 00:09:09,922 --> 00:09:11,142 That was a joke. 200 00:09:11,242 --> 00:09:12,942 You know, about you being a computer. 201 00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:14,901 Ryle: You shouldn't make jokes like that. 202 00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:17,581 It's not very...PC. 203 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,140 Major: What have you got on my shooting? 204 00:09:20,239 --> 00:09:22,539 Gunman had a red Jeep. 205 00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:24,139 Did you put out an APB on the vehicle? 206 00:09:24,238 --> 00:09:26,578 Ryle: All right, Siri. 207 00:09:26,678 --> 00:09:28,938 We'll ask the questions. 208 00:09:29,037 --> 00:09:30,537 Gilbert: We heard someone gave you a name 209 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:33,017 just before you got shot. 210 00:09:33,116 --> 00:09:35,536 Give me a name! 211 00:09:35,635 --> 00:09:38,805 Yeah. 212 00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:40,174 I can't remember it. 213 00:09:40,274 --> 00:09:42,934 I've--tried, but I just-- 214 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:48,133 Ryle: Hey. I understand. 215 00:09:48,232 --> 00:09:50,492 Have you tried switching yourself off and on again? 216 00:09:50,592 --> 00:09:52,172 Major: I'm not a computer, I'm a detective, 217 00:09:52,271 --> 00:09:53,571 a human detective. 218 00:09:53,671 --> 00:09:57,211 It's just banter. We're not serious. 219 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,770 Right, this is who you should be after-- 220 00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:00,689 Liam Cleasby, known associate of the shooter's. 221 00:10:00,789 --> 00:10:03,729 We had him a few days ago, but he...got away. 222 00:10:03,828 --> 00:10:05,528 Gilbert: We saw Cleasby a year ago. 223 00:10:05,628 --> 00:10:07,368 Small-time dealer. He didn't know anything. 224 00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,847 Ryle: So that's it then. Interview concludes. 225 00:10:09,947 --> 00:10:11,207 Recorder voice: Recording discontinued. 226 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:12,966 That's it? 227 00:10:13,066 --> 00:10:15,286 This is meant to be a homicide investigation. 228 00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:16,925 Gilbert: Yeah. Is it, though? 229 00:10:17,025 --> 00:10:18,955 What do you mean, is it? I'm the one that was murdered. 230 00:10:19,064 --> 00:10:21,244 Ryle: Yeah, you were murdered, but you're not 231 00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:23,124 murdered anymore, are you? 232 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,283 So is it a murder case or not? 233 00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:27,683 Gilbert: I'd call it attempted murder. 234 00:10:27,782 --> 00:10:28,882 Possibly GBH. 235 00:10:28,982 --> 00:10:30,122 Ryle: I'll be honest, you're giving 236 00:10:30,221 --> 00:10:31,721 the lawyers a real headache. 237 00:10:31,821 --> 00:10:33,121 Major: Are you telling me I've not been murdered? 238 00:10:33,221 --> 00:10:35,481 I've been fucking murdered! 239 00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:38,200 Calm down. Control-alt-delete. 240 00:10:38,299 --> 00:10:40,719 Ha ha ha! 241 00:10:40,819 --> 00:10:42,399 Well, thanks for your cooperation. 242 00:10:42,498 --> 00:10:44,078 We might speak to you again in future. 243 00:10:44,178 --> 00:10:45,718 We'll leave you on standby. 244 00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:49,437 Gilbert: Standby! Like a computer! 245 00:10:49,537 --> 00:10:50,917 Douchebags. 246 00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:53,016 Gilbert: Douchebags? 247 00:10:57,095 --> 00:10:59,085 Ehh. 248 00:11:04,653 --> 00:11:06,153 Ryle: Catch all that, Cleasby? 249 00:11:06,252 --> 00:11:07,512 I'll pass it on. 250 00:11:07,612 --> 00:11:08,912 Ryle: What happens to him now? 251 00:11:09,012 --> 00:11:10,592 Cleasby: That's above my pay grade. 252 00:11:10,691 --> 00:11:12,311 Ryle: He doesn't remember anything. 253 00:11:12,411 --> 00:11:14,411 Cleasby: He remembers the Jeep. 254 00:11:22,768 --> 00:11:26,368 Pity. I always liked this car. 255 00:11:36,645 --> 00:11:38,335 Carver: The tattoo's a Celtic symbol associated 256 00:11:38,444 --> 00:11:39,864 with the Isle of Man. 257 00:11:39,964 --> 00:11:41,504 I'm liaising with the Manx police. 258 00:11:41,603 --> 00:11:43,343 Tissue samples are with forensics. 259 00:11:43,443 --> 00:11:45,703 OK, DI Carver. I'll give you 24 hours. 260 00:11:45,802 --> 00:11:47,382 Let's see if you can prove people wrong. 261 00:11:47,482 --> 00:11:49,482 Thanks, boss. 262 00:11:51,281 --> 00:11:52,901 What people? 263 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,740 Well, you know, all the ones who said you were washed up 264 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,260 after Major died, 265 00:11:56,359 --> 00:11:58,139 who assumed you were an alcoholic or had a breakdown, 266 00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,299 you lost focus so much. 267 00:12:00,398 --> 00:12:03,898 God knows I said it myself a hundred times. 268 00:12:03,998 --> 00:12:07,958 Anyway, pep talk over. Go and find me that killer. 269 00:12:13,755 --> 00:12:15,295 Major: Just because I'm alive doesn't mean 270 00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:16,765 I'm not a murder victim. 271 00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:18,374 Carver: Listen, mate, don't mean to interrupt, 272 00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:19,694 but in this country we drive on the left. 273 00:12:19,794 --> 00:12:20,854 Wha? 274 00:12:20,953 --> 00:12:22,093 [Horn honking] 275 00:12:22,193 --> 00:12:23,293 Oh, shit! 276 00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:25,393 [Tires squealing] 277 00:12:26,832 --> 00:12:28,832 Sorry. 278 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,449 Carver: Listen, mate, I just wanted to say 279 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,289 thanks for letting me take the credit for the foot. 280 00:12:39,389 --> 00:12:41,129 Least I could do. 281 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:44,688 After the work you done on my shooting, Operation Blue Finch. 282 00:12:44,787 --> 00:12:49,167 We're a good team. We always were. 283 00:12:49,266 --> 00:12:51,006 You don't know the half of it. 284 00:12:51,106 --> 00:12:53,046 - Ha ha! - What you mean? 285 00:12:53,145 --> 00:12:55,435 How do you think that foot got on the garbage tip 286 00:12:55,544 --> 00:12:57,084 in the first place? 287 00:12:57,184 --> 00:12:58,564 The killer dumped it there. 288 00:12:58,664 --> 00:13:02,924 Or...maybe a good friend of yours put it there, 289 00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:04,923 a friend who has access to the morgue, 290 00:13:05,022 --> 00:13:07,682 who can borrow a bit of evidence to give your career 291 00:13:07,781 --> 00:13:10,601 a much-needed shot in the ass. 292 00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:11,881 Ha! 293 00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:13,880 Thanks, John. That's very thoughtful. 294 00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:17,760 Major: Yeah? Because I was worried you might not be happy. 295 00:13:17,859 --> 00:13:21,079 - Why? What'd you think I'd say? - I don't know. 296 00:13:21,178 --> 00:13:24,478 Maybe something like you're a complete dickhead? 297 00:13:24,577 --> 00:13:27,197 Tampered with evidence, desecrated a corpse, 298 00:13:27,296 --> 00:13:28,596 wasted police time, 299 00:13:28,696 --> 00:13:31,236 and now we're both gonna go to prison? 300 00:13:31,335 --> 00:13:32,355 You're pissed at me, aren't you? 301 00:13:32,455 --> 00:13:33,795 - No. - You are. 302 00:13:33,895 --> 00:13:35,905 - You're pissed. - No, I'm pissed off, 303 00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:37,394 you American twat! 304 00:13:37,494 --> 00:13:40,434 Pissed off! Pissed means drunk, 305 00:13:40,533 --> 00:13:44,413 and I'm stone cold fucking sober! 306 00:13:46,771 --> 00:13:48,511 - You're real pissed. - What were you thinking? 307 00:13:48,611 --> 00:13:50,751 I was trying to help! 308 00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:52,950 You wanted to get back on Serious Crimes. 309 00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:54,670 Not by committing one! 310 00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:56,469 What happens when the DNA comes back and it matches 311 00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:57,869 a body we've already got? 312 00:13:57,969 --> 00:14:00,029 I thought of that. We say it's not 313 00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:04,348 the same victim...but twins. 314 00:14:04,447 --> 00:14:06,347 Identical twins have the same DNA! 315 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,386 - Do they? - Don't know. Probably. 316 00:14:08,486 --> 00:14:11,426 Oh, fucking hell! Now we're in deep shit. 317 00:14:11,525 --> 00:14:13,065 We need to fix this and now. 318 00:14:13,165 --> 00:14:15,695 Yeah. Yeah, and if anyone can do that, it's us, 319 00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:18,664 and I would honestly love to help, 320 00:14:18,763 --> 00:14:23,123 but I've got this date with Kelly in 20 minutes, so, um... 321 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,200 You OK walking form here? 322 00:14:44,157 --> 00:14:45,337 Feel like we've been here before. 323 00:14:45,436 --> 00:14:46,896 What, sitting across the table, 324 00:14:46,996 --> 00:14:48,776 avoiding a conversation we know we should have? 325 00:14:48,876 --> 00:14:51,696 Major: No, no. I mean, this restaurant. 326 00:14:51,795 --> 00:14:53,845 Yeah, we have. Yeah. It used to be a bit scruffier. 327 00:14:53,954 --> 00:14:55,534 They've done it up. They've--you know, 328 00:14:55,634 --> 00:14:57,654 they ripped it apart and modernized it, so... 329 00:14:57,753 --> 00:14:59,413 - A bit like me then. - Heh heh. 330 00:14:59,513 --> 00:15:01,653 I should give you a review on TripAdvisor. 331 00:15:01,752 --> 00:15:03,772 - How many stars? - Hee hee hee! Yes. 332 00:15:03,872 --> 00:15:05,532 Well, I don't know that yet, do I? 333 00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:09,891 Oh. I remember. We came here for your birthday. 334 00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:11,290 You were wasted. 335 00:15:11,390 --> 00:15:12,610 I'm surprised they let you back in. 336 00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,450 - No, I was not. - Totally off your face. 337 00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:16,849 Ha ha ha! 338 00:15:16,948 --> 00:15:18,168 You told the waiter he looked like Elton John. 339 00:15:18,268 --> 00:15:22,088 I didn't. I did. Ha ha ha! 340 00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:25,647 I did. Yeah, but he did. Well, a crap one. 341 00:15:25,746 --> 00:15:27,366 I wonder if he's still here. 342 00:15:27,466 --> 00:15:28,886 ♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪ 343 00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:30,485 Ha ha ha! 344 00:15:30,585 --> 00:15:33,235 - No, he's not here. - He's not here. 345 00:15:33,344 --> 00:15:34,724 You're an embarrassment, John. 346 00:15:34,824 --> 00:15:36,044 I'm an embarrassment? 347 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,644 I had to carry you home that night. 348 00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:39,743 Heh heh heh. 349 00:15:43,422 --> 00:15:45,502 [Cell phone ringing and vibrating] 350 00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:51,800 Mmm. That's not like you. 351 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:55,240 Well, I've been modernized, haven't I? 352 00:15:55,339 --> 00:15:59,199 [Phone line ringing] 353 00:15:59,298 --> 00:16:01,338 Answer the phone, you knob. 354 00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:06,836 - What's the problem? - Fuck! 355 00:16:06,936 --> 00:16:08,436 This is the problem. 356 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:12,225 Your little science project gone very horribly wrong. 357 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:13,634 [Major whistling a melody] 358 00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:15,834 Does Dennett know about this? 359 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:19,433 - Not until I show her, no. - You are not serious. 360 00:16:19,532 --> 00:16:21,832 Look. I know he's me partner, but he's a police officer. 361 00:16:21,932 --> 00:16:24,032 He's meant to protect the public from people like-- 362 00:16:24,131 --> 00:16:25,831 [Rapid typing] 363 00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:27,351 What are you doing? 364 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:30,070 Parfit: Oops. CCTV seems to have vanished. 365 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:32,830 So? We'll still get caught. 366 00:16:32,929 --> 00:16:34,629 [Whispering] This time, I'm not taking the blame. 367 00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:36,029 OK, think about this, Carver. 368 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:37,828 - Do the math. - Maths. 369 00:16:37,928 --> 00:16:42,228 If Dennett finds out, the whole AI project gets shut down. 370 00:16:42,327 --> 00:16:45,827 Maybe it should. He's shit. You failed. 371 00:16:45,926 --> 00:16:46,946 You should both be fired. 372 00:16:47,045 --> 00:16:50,265 Oh, fired? He's an AI. 373 00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:52,055 You know what happens to artificial things 374 00:16:52,164 --> 00:16:53,864 when they pull the plug? 375 00:16:53,964 --> 00:16:55,184 [Photocopier running] 376 00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:56,863 [Photocopier stops] 377 00:16:56,963 --> 00:16:58,223 [Beeping] 378 00:16:58,323 --> 00:16:59,543 [Banging] 379 00:16:59,642 --> 00:17:01,062 Williams: For fuck's sake. 380 00:17:01,162 --> 00:17:02,142 OK, well, that was the photocopier, 381 00:17:02,242 --> 00:17:05,022 but you get the point. 382 00:17:05,121 --> 00:17:07,021 Bullshit. They won't kill him. 383 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,480 Do you want to take that chance? 384 00:17:14,718 --> 00:17:17,618 Kelly: So, yeah, I had some therapy after you-- 385 00:17:17,718 --> 00:17:20,418 after you--some grief counseling, CBT, 386 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,057 that sort of thing. 387 00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:24,177 Actually, I--I had so much that I-- 388 00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:27,056 I'm--I'm now training to be a counselor. 389 00:17:27,155 --> 00:17:28,735 I work with police officers actually. 390 00:17:28,835 --> 00:17:30,205 You go, girl! 391 00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:31,774 Well, I just, you know, want to help people 392 00:17:31,874 --> 00:17:33,574 that have been through the same thing as me. 393 00:17:33,674 --> 00:17:35,294 Not--not the, um, husband come back for the dead bit. 394 00:17:35,393 --> 00:17:36,693 Not that bit because that's weird, that bit. 395 00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:38,973 So are you still working as a realtor? 396 00:17:39,072 --> 00:17:41,532 Estate agent? No. No, no. God, no. 397 00:17:41,632 --> 00:17:43,252 I gave that up that months ago. 398 00:17:43,351 --> 00:17:44,771 Don't know why I didn't do it before. 399 00:17:44,871 --> 00:17:48,251 God, the sense of freedom and release was like-- 400 00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:50,690 oh, my God. Mmm! 401 00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:53,289 Obviously tinged with sadness, as well. 402 00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:55,249 You've turned your life around, Kel. 403 00:17:55,348 --> 00:17:59,128 That's great. Second chances, eh? 404 00:17:59,227 --> 00:18:01,227 It's what it's all about. 405 00:18:06,745 --> 00:18:09,005 So in a counseling session, I might say something like, 406 00:18:09,105 --> 00:18:13,115 um, have you been experiencing feelings of anger, 407 00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:14,804 and you--you might say-- 408 00:18:14,903 --> 00:18:18,083 - what would you say? - What? Oh! Right, no. Yeah. 409 00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:23,482 Um, yeah, uh, I got kind of crabby at work today. 410 00:18:23,581 --> 00:18:25,561 Good. And how's your concentration? 411 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:28,280 Is that easier or harder, you know, 412 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:30,560 since the software update? 413 00:18:30,659 --> 00:18:33,099 How did you know I had a software update? 414 00:18:35,218 --> 00:18:37,758 Hmm. Ooh. 415 00:18:37,857 --> 00:18:39,397 [Clucks tongue] 416 00:18:39,497 --> 00:18:42,437 I think someone mentioned it at the lab when I... 417 00:18:42,536 --> 00:18:45,396 I don't believe this. You're testing me. 418 00:18:45,495 --> 00:18:47,235 - John. - Is she here? 419 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,185 Dr. Parfit. She is, isn't she? Listening. 420 00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:51,754 Of course she's not listening. 421 00:18:51,854 --> 00:18:53,854 Don't be silly! 422 00:18:56,173 --> 00:18:59,873 I'm--I'm gonna phone her later and tell her what you said. 423 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,072 My own wife is a stool pigeon. 424 00:19:02,171 --> 00:19:03,791 - What? - I thought this was a date. 425 00:19:03,891 --> 00:19:06,231 I thought you were doing this because you cared. 426 00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,310 I do care very deeply about you, John. 427 00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:10,110 That is why I'm trying to help you. 428 00:19:10,209 --> 00:19:12,469 By tricking me, spying on me? 429 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,428 No. Dr. Parfit said that you weren't doing your test, 430 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:15,788 and I was worried about you. 431 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,428 She needs to know how you are feeling. 432 00:19:17,527 --> 00:19:19,387 If you cared two bits about my feelings, Kelly, 433 00:19:19,487 --> 00:19:21,487 we wouldn't be here right now. 434 00:19:37,162 --> 00:19:39,342 - Fuck! - Date not go well? 435 00:19:39,442 --> 00:19:41,382 No, it did not go well! 436 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:44,261 - You saw her foot off? - What? No. 437 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:45,820 You're making progress then, aren't you? 438 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,420 Why is everyone busting my balls today? 439 00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:51,339 Ryle: Oi, Ghost in the Shell. 440 00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:54,979 Dennett wants to see you both. She doesn't sound happy. 441 00:19:55,078 --> 00:19:56,698 Carver: Maybe it's something to do with perverting 442 00:19:56,797 --> 00:19:58,177 the course of justice. 443 00:19:58,277 --> 00:20:00,737 What do you mean? I thought you were fixing it. 444 00:20:00,836 --> 00:20:02,456 Have you not fixed it? 445 00:20:02,556 --> 00:20:04,256 What--you mean, going back in time and stopped you 446 00:20:04,355 --> 00:20:05,735 from being a dickhead? 447 00:20:05,835 --> 00:20:07,405 Carver, the committee will switch me off. 448 00:20:07,514 --> 00:20:09,174 Can't you take the blame...again? 449 00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:10,294 Last time, I promise. 450 00:20:10,394 --> 00:20:12,134 - No. - For me. Please. 451 00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:13,613 Well, you said there's no "I" in team. 452 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,293 Turns out there's no "u" in honor. 453 00:20:15,392 --> 00:20:18,312 There is if you fucking spell it properly! 454 00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:27,530 Dennett: It's about this foot business. 455 00:20:27,629 --> 00:20:29,649 Major: Oh. Um, the thing is, ma'am, we think 456 00:20:29,749 --> 00:20:32,049 that there's a serial killer targeting twins. 457 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,088 Dennett: You need to drop the case. 458 00:20:34,188 --> 00:20:35,848 - What? - Communication from MI5. 459 00:20:35,947 --> 00:20:37,527 The whole thing's been classified. 460 00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,567 We're to act like we never found a foot in the first place. 461 00:20:39,666 --> 00:20:41,846 - But, boss, I mean that's-- - Pain in the arse, 462 00:20:41,946 --> 00:20:43,166 but it can't be helped. 463 00:20:43,265 --> 00:20:45,265 Case closed. 464 00:20:51,303 --> 00:20:54,163 You did this. You and Parfit. 465 00:20:54,263 --> 00:20:55,803 You have my back after all. 466 00:20:55,902 --> 00:20:57,602 We should probably have this bit of the conversation 467 00:20:57,702 --> 00:20:59,242 after we've left the office. 468 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,681 Oh. Um, before I forget, I caught the fly-tipper. 469 00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:04,080 - What? - What? 470 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,960 Sorry. Yeah. I forgot to mention it. 471 00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:08,440 A cell phone was recovered from the fly-tipping site. 472 00:21:08,539 --> 00:21:12,039 Analysis of the data led me to identify a suspect. 473 00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:13,678 He's made a full confession. 474 00:21:13,778 --> 00:21:16,238 Excellent work, DI Major. You're a credit to the force. 475 00:21:16,337 --> 00:21:17,957 - Just doing my "DOO-dee." - "DEW-tee." 476 00:21:18,057 --> 00:21:21,157 Dennett: DI Carver, you could learn a lot from this man. 477 00:21:21,256 --> 00:21:24,396 - Dismissed. - Thank you, boss. 478 00:21:24,495 --> 00:21:26,485 Bellend. 479 00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:47,030 Carver: How did you manage to hack into MI5 480 00:21:47,129 --> 00:21:48,749 and send that fake message? 481 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,509 Please. I've been doing that stuff since kindergarten. 482 00:21:52,608 --> 00:21:55,148 Well, you can't do it for every time he screws up. 483 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,387 He won't screw up from now on. 484 00:21:57,486 --> 00:22:00,706 I've updated the update and reset the language defaults. 485 00:22:00,806 --> 00:22:07,696 This one really will enhance his cognition significantly. 486 00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:08,944 [Distorted audio] 487 00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:11,044 Major: I got shot. 488 00:22:19,161 --> 00:22:21,581 Wo bin ich? 489 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,380 Wer bin ich? 490 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,020 Hilf mir, mein Freund. 491 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,539 Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. Leave him like that. Brilliant. 492 00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:30,699 I'll just... 493 00:22:30,798 --> 00:22:32,798 [Major sighs] 494 00:22:34,837 --> 00:22:37,477 [Liquid sloshing] 495 00:23:08,628 --> 00:23:09,608 Major! 496 00:23:09,708 --> 00:23:10,728 [Snoring] 497 00:23:10,828 --> 00:23:12,828 [Horn honking] 498 00:23:17,786 --> 00:23:19,886 Ryle: I have got one lead. 499 00:23:19,985 --> 00:23:22,045 You can use it to charge a phone off your head. 500 00:23:22,145 --> 00:23:24,135 Major: Ha ha ha! 501 00:23:27,424 --> 00:23:30,124 Have you been seeing someone? 502 00:23:30,223 --> 00:23:32,223 Yes, I have, John, yeah. 503 00:23:36,021 --> 00:23:38,301 - Aah! - Ooh! Ooh! 504 00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:45,380 You horrible, little scum bag! 505 00:23:49,698 --> 00:23:51,118 [Cocks gun] 506 00:23:51,218 --> 00:23:52,638 Major: Jesus! 507 00:23:52,737 --> 00:23:54,737 I think he's got a knife.