1 00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:05,337 Welcome to "the misery index," where misery loves company. 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,939 -Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! 3 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:08,540 Jameela: We have scoured the globe 4 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:11,009 For the world's most miserable true stories, 5 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,077 Then asked a panel of respected psychologists 6 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,880 To rate those stories based on three pillars of misery -- 7 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,549 Physical pain, emotional trauma, 8 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,684 And long-term psychological impact. 9 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,020 The higher the combined misery, 10 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,755 The higher it lands on our misery index. 11 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,090 What is going on? What is going on? 12 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,025 Our two contestants must try and decide 13 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,095 How those events were rated for a chance at our grand prize 14 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,230 Of $30,000. 15 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,299 You're about to win some money! 16 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,900 So, let's get miserable. 17 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:38,170 [ cheers and applause ] 18 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:44,576 ♪♪ 19 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,045 Hello, I am jameela jamil, and welcome to 20 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,381 "the misery index." tonight, we have two 21 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,316 Very miserable contestants. 22 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:55,788 Walter clements, whose eyes once swelled shut on a double date. 23 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,523 And parker smith, who once accidentally 24 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,725 Stole someone's child. 25 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,927 And now, from trutv's hit "impractical jokers," 26 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,464 Give it up for my brothers, the tenderloins -- 27 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:06,865 Sal, joe, q, and murr! 28 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,267 [ cheers and applause ] 29 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,202 What's up?! 30 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,604 Oh, yeah. 31 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,474 [ indistinct conversation ] 32 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,010 Let's just get into it. Walter, what happened? 33 00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:20,545 I double dated with another couple, 34 00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,214 And I love seafood. -Mm-hmm. 35 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,083 And I started eating, 36 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,485 And the next thing I know, 37 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,286 My tongue swelled up... [ gasps ] 38 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,622 ...My eyes shut... -Mm-hmm. 39 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:31,890 ...And next thing I know, I was being taken out 40 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,292 In an ambulance. You were allergic to your date. 41 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:35,894 [ laughter ] 42 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,696 It was the seafood. 43 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,499 I have heard of some creative ways of getting out of 44 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:43,902 Paying the bill, but this really took it to an extreme. 45 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,504 It worked. It worked! 46 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,971 It worked. 47 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,973 No second date then, walter? 48 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:52,845 Yeah, we had a second and third, and about 49 more. 49 00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:54,579 You've been married 49 years? Yes. 50 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,582 Come on! That's unbelievable. 51 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,384 49. Wow! 52 00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,720 Alright, parker, you're up. What happened? 53 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,922 My wife and I were at disney world. 54 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,458 It was really crowded, and we had our two boys with us, 55 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,993 And we each had one by the hand, which was fine 56 00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,995 Until this woman came running up to me 57 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:14,733 Screaming hysterically that I had kidnapped her child. 58 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,001 And I looked down and I had the wrong kid. 59 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:18,871 [ laughter ] 60 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:20,338 That's not the bad part. 61 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,074 That's not the bad part? 62 00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:24,143 No. Then I had to find my own kid. 63 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,347 So I think it's time, right? 64 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,615 -Yeah. -Oh, yeah. 65 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:33,351 Please behold the keeper of all things miserable. 66 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,220 It is my good friend, the traumatron. 67 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,889 -Ooh. -Here we go. 68 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:37,890 -It's fun. -We're gonna win some money 69 00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:39,291 Today, okay? -Don't worry, we got this. 70 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,426 We got it. -The name of our first game, 71 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,027 Gentlemen, is misery lane. 72 00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,764 I'm going to put two misery markers on the index, 73 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,299 And the first one is 74 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:50,702 Your daughter demands emancipation on tiktok. 75 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,970 Joe: Oh, man. 76 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,773 Which our shrinks rated at a... 77 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:55,840 68. 78 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,442 -Ooh. -Oh, yeah. 79 00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,245 Jameela: And the second one is 80 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,681 You get peed on at a musical festival. 81 00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:07,719 And our shrinks rated it at a... 82 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,121 42. Q: 42. 83 00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:12,457 I was peed on at a discotheque. 84 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,659 Why'd you point at me? I didn't piss on you. 85 00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:15,928 Okay, okay, fine. 86 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:18,263 Okay, so guys, I'm going to show you each event. 87 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,998 You don't have to give me the exact number. 88 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,867 You just have to determine if it falls above, below, 89 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,470 Or in between the two cards that you see on the index. 90 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:27,672 Walter, you get to go first. 91 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,674 Alright. Let's go, walter. 92 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:30,609 We got this, we got this. Let's do it, bud. 93 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,611 Please check out this misery. 94 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,749 So this woman is just filming her child 95 00:03:36,751 --> 00:03:38,817 Having fun out in the rain. 96 00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:42,287 [ laughs ] 97 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,023 Q: Wonder what's gonna happen. 98 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,625 [ audience gasps ] whoopsie daisy. 99 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,161 Murr: Oh, my god! 100 00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:50,963 Shocking. 101 00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:52,497 So many things I love about this, 102 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:55,768 Most of all, the fact that the mother ran inside. 103 00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:57,102 You can have more kids. 104 00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,237 Yeah. 105 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,705 As parker knows. Yeah. 106 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:03,508 You can just grab someone else's. Right. 107 00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,310 Struck by lightning. 108 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,179 It's going to be trauma. 109 00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:08,647 It's going to last for a long time. 110 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,783 I played this game a bunch. I mean, if a lightning bolt 111 00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:13,718 Coming down and striking you is not worse than declaring 112 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,720 Emancipation on tiktok. That's right. 113 00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:18,056 Okay, so officially now for $500, 114 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,258 Does you're struck by lightning land above, below, 115 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,261 Or in between the two cards on the misery index, walter? 116 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,330 Above. -Above. 117 00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,331 Absolutely. 118 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,800 Jameela: Okay. Absolutely. 119 00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:29,134 You have said it is above. 120 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,869 Let's see what our shrinks say. 121 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,537 500 clams for walter. 122 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,938 I mean, I'm not even worried. 123 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,674 Come on, come on. Oh, it does this. 124 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,009 It goes all the way and back, 125 00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:39,344 Plays with us. Come on, come on, come on, come on. 126 00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:40,813 There's no way. There's no way. 127 00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:43,415 [ cheers and applause ] we got it by a long shot. 128 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,683 Sir, yes, sir. 129 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,485 We got it. We're on the way. 130 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,220 That is correct, walter. 131 00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:51,623 You just banked $500. 132 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,758 Okay, parker, I can see that you're ready. 133 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,427 You and your team, please check out this misery. 134 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,761 Okay. 135 00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:57,962 Woman: Ooh! 136 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,564 Jameela: Here she goes, she's looking great. 137 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,333 Joe: No. Seems okay. 138 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,170 Oh, it's frozen. 139 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,505 Oh, my god. Oh, my god! 140 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,240 It was ice! 141 00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:09,842 What a waste of a lovely bum. 142 00:05:09,844 --> 00:05:12,777 Oh, man. 143 00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:13,846 What do you think? I don't know, I don't know. 144 00:05:13,848 --> 00:05:15,047 There was some physical pain. 145 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,449 Physical pain, yeah. But did it last a long time? 146 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,118 No. I mean, you hurt your shins, you dust yourself off. 147 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,319 There's a couple things to consider, right? 148 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,522 At the music festival, you're covered in pee. 149 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,590 Right. You're probably gonna be like that for a few hours. 150 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,526 You're not going to leave. You paid for these tickets. 151 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,862 The other situation, though, is physically painful. 152 00:05:29,864 --> 00:05:31,864 She definitely got hurt. She whacked her head. Yeah. 153 00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:33,598 We don't know if she has a concussion. 154 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,200 For me, it's lower than both. 155 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,935 You get hurt, you get up, you dust yourself off, you go. 156 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,336 There's a little bit of embarrassment. 157 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,604 I think getting peed on is worse. 158 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,339 Jameela: Parker, where are you at? 159 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,342 So there's definitely physical pain 160 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,211 And there's some trauma, 161 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,947 Although I don't think there's a lasting impact. 162 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:52,817 Yeah. Whereas if your child demands emancipation, 163 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,352 Your kid wants to divorce you. 164 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,820 Yeah. Sure. I think that's pretty -- 165 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,890 So it's definitely not higher than that. 166 00:05:57,892 --> 00:05:59,958 I'm going to say in between. 167 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:03,161 In between. I like it. 168 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:06,765 So let's see what our shrinks say. 169 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,500 Alright, alright, let's go. 170 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,502 Come on, parker. Come on, baby. 171 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,104 Come on, right in the middle. 172 00:06:12,106 --> 00:06:13,037 Yes! Yes! 173 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,774 Good job. Good job. Yes, parker! 174 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,643 Coming up, one of these fantastic contestants 175 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,513 Will get a shot at $30,000. 176 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:24,917 [ cheers and applause ] 177 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,388 [ cheers and applause ] 178 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,057 Hello, and welcome back to "the misery index." 179 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:35,660 So, walter has $500 and parker also has $500, 180 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,529 But there's lots more humiliation to explore 181 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:41,533 Before one of them plays for $30,000. 182 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:44,269 Parker. Parker. No, no, parker. 183 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,270 -Parker, that's the wrong kid. -You're on this team. 184 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,805 You're on the wrong team. -Oh! 185 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,407 [ laughter ] come here, buddy. 186 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,075 Can't believe I did that again. 187 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,810 You got to keep an eye on him. 188 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,546 Over here. Parker, this time you are up first. 189 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,082 I'm going to show you two deeply traumatic events 190 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,618 And you just have to tell me which is worse 191 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,020 According to our shrinks. 192 00:07:01,022 --> 00:07:02,353 So, for $1,000 193 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,423 Tell me which one of these family fails 194 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,625 Lands higher on the misery index. 195 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,493 Is it this? 196 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:11,362 "elderly guest gets naked during gilbert gottfried's 197 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,164 Daughter's zoom bat mitzvah." 198 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,834 [ laughter ] 199 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,437 So you have this, or would you say 200 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:20,639 Is this more miserable? 201 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,774 "mishap leaves 2-year-old girl 202 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,177 With cake saying, 'happy birthday, loser.'" 203 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,647 Melin jones, 2-year-old elizabeth's mother, 204 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,917 Said she asked for the cake to read "happy birthday, lizard." 205 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,319 Lizard is the toddler's nickname. 206 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,922 I mean, who still celebrates their birthday at 2? 207 00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,257 [ laughter ] 208 00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:39,458 Grow up, baby. 209 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,992 [ laughing ] grow up, baby. 210 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,595 A bar and bat mitzvah is about your 211 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,931 Becoming a woman and a man, right? Right. 212 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,934 No better way than by seeing nana's, you know, 213 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,870 Hoo-ha and ta-tas, you know? 214 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,139 Joe, you saw your grandmother naked once. 215 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,607 How traumatic was it? I did, I did. 216 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,008 I saw my grandmother naked in atlantic city. 217 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,209 She'd just gotten out of the shower, 218 00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,878 And she was doing that thing with the towel 219 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,613 Where she threw it over and she was doing this. 220 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,414 Oh, no, no, no. 221 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,417 Yeah. 222 00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:07,218 Parker, do you have grandchildren? 223 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,687 I do. I have two. -How would you feel 224 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,155 If they saw you naked? 225 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,757 [ groans ] 226 00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,359 That would not be pretty. 227 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,895 [ laughter ] 228 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:21,232 I'm still trying to get my wife to see me naked. 229 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,435 [ laughter ] 230 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,171 I love it. 231 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,107 It has more long-lasting impact. 232 00:08:28,109 --> 00:08:31,042 Yeah, I think the bat mitzvah because it's probably recorded 233 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,443 For all time. Agreed. 234 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:33,578 The kid, he's a toddler. 235 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,714 He's gonna forget about that, like, next year. 236 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,383 Alright, so parker, for $1,000, 237 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,852 Which one would you say is more miserable? 238 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,054 The bat mitzvah is more miserable. 239 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,255 There you go. I agree. 240 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,256 Good answer. I agree. 241 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,525 Let's first see where our shrinks 242 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,259 Put the other choice. Good luck. 243 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,394 Got to be low. They both got to be low. 244 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:52,131 Yeah. 33. That's low. 245 00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:54,466 Okay, now let's see if you are right. 246 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,535 Come on, baby. Come on, come on, come on. 247 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,737 Yes! Awesome! Yeah! 248 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,271 1,000 bucks! 249 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,406 1,000 bucks. 250 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,407 Parker, that is correct, 251 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,409 And you just won yourself $1,000. 252 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,811 Yes. Alright. 253 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,078 Not bad. 254 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,214 Okay, walter, you ready? 255 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,950 For $1,000, tell me which one of these agro animals 256 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,819 Ranks higher on the misery index. 257 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,754 Is it this? 258 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,488 [ child screaming ] 259 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,758 Oh, a bird chasing a kid? Is that a hawk? 260 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,426 Jameela: Yeah. It's a hawk. 261 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,228 Walter: It's a hawk. 262 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,830 Sal: She didn't wipe out? Oh, my god. 263 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:25,964 Joe: No, it's still attacking her. 264 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,298 Okay, so we've seen that, 265 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:31,036 Or would you say this is more miserable? 266 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,706 "dublin police officer mounted by stallion." 267 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:35,707 Is that a horse penis? 268 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,575 What do you think, walter? 269 00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:37,576 He's in trouble. 270 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:40,645 [ laughter ] 271 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,714 Jameela: But also, in that picture, 272 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,716 The horse's [bleep] is really close to his ass. 273 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,518 Like, it really shocked me because normally 274 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,719 They don't have, like, great aim, 275 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,588 But he knows exactly where he's going. 276 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:50,856 Normally they don't? How do you know? 277 00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,591 Well, when I try, they miss. 278 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,925 [ laughter ] 279 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,994 No. No. 280 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,997 We're not keeping that. 281 00:09:57,999 --> 00:09:59,598 Walter, what are you thinking? 282 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,066 Walter: I'm going to say 283 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,868 That being mounted by a horse. Yeah. 284 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:06,071 Okay, let's first see where our shrinks put the other choice. 285 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,873 [ cheers and applause ] 286 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,141 42. 42 is very beatable. 287 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,077 Now let's see if your choice is correct. 288 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,945 This is for $1,000. 289 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,481 Show me horse penis! 290 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:17,682 [ laughter ] give us the horse [bleep] 291 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,819 -Yeah! -Alright. No surprise there. 292 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,088 Don't go anywhere, 'cause when we come back, 293 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,024 Someone is headed home and someone is moving on 294 00:10:25,026 --> 00:10:28,159 For their shot at $30,000. 295 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,296 [ cheers and applause ] 296 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,165 Show me the money. 297 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,839 Hello, and welcome back to "the misery index." 298 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:44,175 It all comes down to this one miserable event 299 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:47,779 To determine who is the true master of misery 300 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,515 Moving on to play for their shot at the grand prize. 301 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,851 So currently, walter has $1,500 302 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,654 And parker also has $1,500. It's a game. 303 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,257 [ cheers and applause ] 304 00:10:58,259 --> 00:11:00,191 So, guys, I'm going to show you both the same event, 305 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,061 And your job is just to tell us 306 00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:03,995 Where you think it lands on the misery index. 307 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,732 The closest guess gets $2,000. 308 00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:09,200 Joe: Nice. Okay. 309 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,069 Please, everyone, direct your attention 310 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:14,205 To the traumatron for our next misery. 311 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,007 Everybody is afraid of the dentist. 312 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,408 And today they should be. 313 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,144 That's because we're working as dental assistants 314 00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:20,545 At paramount oral surgery, 315 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,080 And we've got to help patients out. 316 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,683 Yeah, helping them by doing and saying what we're told 317 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:25,684 By the other guys. 318 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,753 And if you refuse, you lose. 319 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,222 [ laughter ] 320 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,424 So, I was at atlantic city over the weekend. 321 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,427 Oh, yeah? And everybody's eating steak and I'm eating crab cakes. 322 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,230 Oh! Right. 323 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,366 Joe: Tell him that's not your worst story about crabs. 324 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,501 Those [bleep] crab cakes. 325 00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:44,436 That's not my worst story involving crabs 326 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:46,105 In atlantic city, if you know what I mean. 327 00:11:46,107 --> 00:11:47,706 [ laughs ] 328 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,708 [ laughs ] 329 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:50,842 That's a peek-a-boo. 330 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,111 That's what they call that. 331 00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:54,980 It's to use to get right in the undercarriage 332 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:55,981 Back up there. 333 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,983 In the industry we call this the, uh, 334 00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,451 The bilateral hammer-ray...Rammer. 335 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,253 Spin on the stool as you explain it. 336 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,989 You won't even feel anything. Hold on one second. 337 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:05,657 I need you to hold onto this mirror. 338 00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:08,160 He looks like a mad scientist! 339 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,798 [ laughter ] 340 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:13,799 I got to get somebody. 341 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,867 I got to get somebody on that fast. 342 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,536 Just roll out of the room. 343 00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:18,937 Okay. 344 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,006 [ laughter ] 345 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,342 Plant him back as far as you can go. 346 00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:25,811 Now, you said you got this in October. 347 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,412 Let me ask you this. Give or take October. 348 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,614 [ laughs, coughs ] excuse me. 349 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,216 I remember... 350 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,552 Murr: Raise it all the way up to the ceiling. 351 00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:37,088 [ laughter ] 352 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,423 He's holding on! 353 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,325 He's holding on! 354 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,230 I'm gonna get him right now. Give me one second. 355 00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,765 I'm gonna get him right now. 356 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,835 [ laughing ] I can't do it! 357 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:52,637 I can't do it! I can't do it! I can't do it! 358 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:56,441 [ laughter ] 359 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,243 To this day, that's the moment that people 360 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,512 Bring up to me the most on the entire run of the whole show. 361 00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,313 Really? But he was a good sport about it. 362 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,314 Q: He was great. That's amazing. 363 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,383 You cured his pain, though. 364 00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:05,917 Exactly. Right. 365 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,319 Okay, so for $2,000, talk it through 366 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,389 And lock in where you think "your dental assistant 367 00:13:10,391 --> 00:13:13,324 Is reckless" lands on the misery index. 368 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,993 It's not the most traumatic thing in the world. 369 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,127 Right. It's concerning. 370 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,262 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 371 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,464 It's the expectation of professionalism, 372 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,666 You know? If we want own this kind of area, 373 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,068 Play defense a little bit... 374 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,671 Okay, gentlemen, it is time to lock in your answers. 375 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:27,606 Great. We're locked. 376 00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:29,875 Okay, parker is locked in. 377 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:32,143 He's in. 378 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,880 Okay, everyone is locked in. This is it. 379 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,415 Let's see who has mastered the misery 380 00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:38,483 By being closest to the correct answer 381 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,619 For that chance at $30,000. 382 00:13:40,621 --> 00:13:42,821 Walter, you said... 383 00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:43,889 39. 384 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,356 Where you guys at? 385 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,492 Drop it like it's hot, traumatron. 386 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,562 And parker, you said it's a... 387 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,697 No. 41. 388 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,765 He had 41! 389 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,501 Oh, no, I hate it when it's this close. 390 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,970 Let's see what our shrinks say. This is it. 391 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:01,506 -Hoo-hoo! -No. 392 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,575 Sal: Come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on. 393 00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:05,110 Joe: 42, baby, 42. Gimme 42. 394 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,045 Q: Stop, stop, stop, stop. 395 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,848 [ cheers and applause ] 396 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:12,317 Whoa! 397 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,786 Oh! 398 00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,055 Parker, you're awesome. 399 00:14:16,057 --> 00:14:17,923 Unfortunately, that means we're going to have to 400 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,591 Say goodbye to parker, 401 00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:21,727 But walter is moving on and will be playing for 402 00:14:21,729 --> 00:14:24,529 The $30,000 grand prize right after this! 403 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,333 Joe: Alright, walter. 404 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,403 Alright. 405 00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:33,271 Welcome back to "the misery index." 406 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,273 Walter has chosen q to assist him 407 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,875 In the grand prize final round, 408 00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:40,612 The $30,000 margin of misery. 409 00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,748 -Ooh! -There it is. 410 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,949 Walter, you're doing so well, 411 00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:46,951 But if and when you win all the money, 412 00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,086 What are you going to do with it? 413 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,954 Well, with my love for seafood, 414 00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,956 Wanted to always go to greece. 415 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,693 I'm going to pig out branzino -- lemon branzino. 416 00:14:54,695 --> 00:14:56,895 Oh, amazing. 417 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,363 Super specific. 418 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,165 Aren't you allergic to seafood? 419 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,299 That one I can eat. 420 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,300 Fearless man right here! 421 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:04,302 Ready to take on the traumatron. 422 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,971 Okay, so I'm going to show you three terrible events. 423 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:10,242 They're worth $5,000, $10,000, and $15,000. 424 00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:12,444 After each one, you will place a range finder 425 00:15:12,446 --> 00:15:14,579 Where you think it lands on the misery index. 426 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:18,650 But as the money gets bigger, the range finder gets smaller. 427 00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,584 Ready to play? 428 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:23,055 Ready to play. Okay. 429 00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:24,322 It's official. 430 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,124 Let's get miserable. 431 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,927 Alright. 432 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,929 Alright. 433 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,331 Walter, your first event is worth $5,000 434 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,901 And has a range of 30 points. Please take a look at this. 435 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,405 Man: [ speaks native language ] 436 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,879 What is that? What's in the water? 437 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,413 Those are piranhas. Fish? 438 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,482 -Oh! -No! No! 439 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,419 I don't think anybody would suggest 440 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,820 We'd even start below 40. 441 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:56,755 40 to 70. 442 00:15:56,757 --> 00:15:58,623 Yeah. I wouldn't think it would go 70 443 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,025 'cause if he got torn apart and eaten, we'd know about it. 444 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:01,960 There was no red in the water. 445 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,763 No red in the water. Very blue water. 446 00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:07,031 I would say between 40 and 70? 447 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,967 Okay, so walter, within a range of 30, 448 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,303 Where does "you dive into a piranha party" 449 00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:12,837 Land on the misery index? 450 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:15,173 Your 10 seconds starts... 451 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,041 Now. 452 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:20,712 I wouldn't go below 40 at all, would be my advice. 453 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,380 That's great. 5...4... 454 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,582 Yeah, great. That's good. 455 00:16:23,584 --> 00:16:26,384 That's good, we got it. We got this, we got this. 456 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,587 Okay, you are locked in. 457 00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:30,855 For $5,000, let's see where this lands. 458 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,592 Good luck. Come on, come on. 459 00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:35,260 No. We got this, we got this. 460 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:36,929 Come on back, come on back, come on back. 461 00:16:36,931 --> 00:16:38,330 It's not gonna be below 40. 462 00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,064 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 463 00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:42,467 Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! 464 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:43,802 Yes! 465 00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,203 Yes! 466 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,406 Yes! 467 00:16:47,408 --> 00:16:49,073 Whoo! 468 00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:50,475 Oh! 469 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,144 So, that was correct, and you just banked yourself 470 00:16:52,146 --> 00:16:56,214 $5,000. Yes, you did. 471 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,951 This next event is worth $10,000, 472 00:16:58,953 --> 00:17:01,686 And this time you will have a range of any 20 points. 473 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,289 Let's take a look. 474 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,958 Alright, got this guy. 475 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,961 This is an elderly woman. 476 00:17:08,963 --> 00:17:11,363 She's taken off on the race. 477 00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:14,232 [ audience groans ] 478 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,434 I like that. You fall and then can't get up. 479 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,970 [ laughter ] 480 00:17:17,972 --> 00:17:20,773 A lot of pain there, that's for sure. Yeah. 481 00:17:20,775 --> 00:17:23,107 And maybe long lasting depending on what she broke. 482 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,710 Would it be the physical pain or your friends seeing the video 483 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,846 And making fun of you the most that would bother you? 484 00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:29,982 Friends seeing it wouldn't bother me at that point. 485 00:17:29,984 --> 00:17:32,050 Probably worrying about the pain then. Yep. 486 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:35,120 My gut would be around 65. 487 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,255 I think it's in the 60s, and you think it's in the 60s, 488 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,057 So why don't we cover the 60s and, you know, 489 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,659 Hedge it a little bit on each side? On each side. 490 00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:41,526 Yeah, yeah. Okay. 491 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:44,062 Okay, well, 492 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,398 Walter, if you touch that before I tell you you can, 493 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,333 I will fight you on television. 494 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,469 [ laughter ] 495 00:17:50,471 --> 00:17:51,936 He's so scared. 496 00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,538 Walter, your 10 seconds starts... 497 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,740 Now. 498 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,543 Come on, walter! 499 00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:02,815 Yeah. 5...4...3...2... 500 00:18:02,817 --> 00:18:04,216 Lock in, walter. 501 00:18:04,218 --> 00:18:05,884 Yes! Alright, I feel good. 502 00:18:05,886 --> 00:18:07,886 I think we're in the 60s. For $10,000, 503 00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:10,288 Where did our shrinks rate it on the misery index? 504 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,690 You got this. This is it. 505 00:18:11,692 --> 00:18:13,558 Sal: Come on, she's an old lady! Get up there! 506 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,626 Please. Please. 507 00:18:14,628 --> 00:18:16,761 Elderly lady. Come on, please. 508 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,430 Please, please. Come on, come on, come on, come on. 509 00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:19,431 Stop! 510 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,566 Oh! Whoa! 511 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:24,102 Yes! Yes! 512 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,104 Yes! Baby! 513 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,372 This is it! 514 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,508 Oh! 515 00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:32,977 That was correct, and you just won $10,000. 516 00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,514 $10,000. $10,000! 517 00:18:35,516 --> 00:18:37,982 Walter, you're playing a perfect game. 518 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,919 [ cheers and applause ] 519 00:18:40,921 --> 00:18:44,056 Okay, so here we go, our final misery is worth 520 00:18:44,058 --> 00:18:46,658 $15,000, and you're going to have to get it 521 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:48,993 Within a range of only 10 this time. 522 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,997 Walter! The world is with you, walter! 523 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,400 I'm with you, fellas. 524 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,737 "wife who walked in on husband allegedly having sex 525 00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:02,340 With his mother had 'always suspected incest.'" 526 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,475 I mean, he looks happy. 527 00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:04,943 Well, he just got laid. 528 00:19:04,945 --> 00:19:07,746 ♪ I saw mommy f'ing santa ♪ 529 00:19:07,748 --> 00:19:09,314 Yeah, right? Exactly. 530 00:19:10,885 --> 00:19:12,551 There it is. That was it. 531 00:19:12,553 --> 00:19:14,352 What are you feeling right now, walter? 532 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,754 78 to 88. 533 00:19:15,756 --> 00:19:16,555 You want to get in the 70s? Yeah? 534 00:19:16,557 --> 00:19:17,956 Okay, within a range of 10, 535 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:21,093 Where does "your husband is banging his mum," walter, 536 00:19:21,095 --> 00:19:22,494 Land on the misery index? 537 00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:25,230 Your 10 seconds starts... Now. 538 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,698 [ cheers and applause ] 539 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:30,235 I have a hard time seeing it in the 70s, but... 540 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:34,439 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 541 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:35,840 You got it, baby. I think you got it. 542 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,175 I think you got it. 543 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,911 I do. I do, bud. 544 00:19:38,913 --> 00:19:40,913 This is the most important round of "misery index" 545 00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:42,447 I've ever played. Jameela: Yeah. 546 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,249 Walter, you bloody legend, 547 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:47,652 You are locked in between 79 and 89. 548 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,654 Alright, for $15,000, let's see where 549 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,857 "your husband is banging his mum" lands on the misery index. 550 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,727 Good luck, walter! 551 00:19:54,729 --> 00:19:57,596 [ cheers and applause ] 552 00:19:57,598 --> 00:19:58,730 Sal: Here we go, here we go! 553 00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:00,332 Joe: Here we go, walter! 554 00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,334 Go! It ain't 10, it ain't 20, ain't 30. 555 00:20:02,336 --> 00:20:04,403 Come on. 556 00:20:04,405 --> 00:20:05,604 Come on up. 557 00:20:05,606 --> 00:20:06,471 Come on, come on, keep going. 558 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,006 Hit the brakes! Stop! 559 00:20:08,008 --> 00:20:10,809 [ cheers and applause ] 560 00:20:10,811 --> 00:20:16,081 ♪♪ 561 00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,482 Oh, my god! 562 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:20,084 ♪♪ 563 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,086 Okay, this is our champion! 564 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:25,890 That is correct. Oh, man! 565 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,492 Walter, congratulations. 566 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:31,496 You're going home with $33,500. 567 00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,097 [ cheers and applause ] 568 00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,033 I don't believe this. I don't believe this. 569 00:20:35,035 --> 00:20:37,502 Sir, you just played a perfect game. 570 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,170 Well done. 571 00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:40,105 Walter don't give a [bleep] 572 00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:41,906 Boom! 573 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,442 -Wow! -Oh, my god. 574 00:20:43,444 --> 00:20:45,444 -Yo. -Branzino, here he comes! 575 00:20:45,446 --> 00:20:47,312 So, that'll do it for "the misery index." 576 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:49,581 I'm jameela jamil, and for me and the tenderloins 577 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:52,384 And walter... Yeah, right! 578 00:20:52,386 --> 00:20:54,853 [ cheers and applause ] 579 00:20:54,855 --> 00:20:57,756 [ tenderloins chanting "branzino!" ]