1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,403
Welcome to "the misery index,"
where misery loves company.
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,805
-Yeah! Yeah!
-Yeah!
3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,607
Jameela:
We have scoured the globe
4
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,875
For the world's most miserable
true stories,
5
00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,945
Then asked a panel
of respected psychologists
6
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,747
To rate those stories based on
three pillars of misery --
7
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,616
Physical pain,
emotional trauma,
8
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,551
And long-term
psychological impact.
9
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,886
The higher
the combined misery,
10
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,622
The higher it lands
on our misery index.
11
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,957
What is going on?
What is going on?
12
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:27,091
Our two contestants
must try and decide
13
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How those events were rated
for a chance at our grand prize
14
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:32,297
Of $30,000.
15
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You're about to win
some money!
16
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So, let's get miserable.
17
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[ cheers and applause ]
18
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:46,311
♪♪
19
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,112
Hello!
I am jameela jamil,
20
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,115
And welcome to
"the misery index."
21
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:53,652
It is every smart person's
least favorite time of the year.
22
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It's bloody valentine's day.
23
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:59,123
And tonight we have two
very miserable
24
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,659
Valentine's contestants.
25
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,328
Iden [indistinct]
whose first kiss ended
26
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,197
In a panic attack.
27
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:08,333
And siena hart,
who once turned an awkward text
28
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:12,204
Into a really awkward breakup.
29
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:15,073
And now from trutv's hit
"impractical jokers,"
30
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They better be dressed
to stupidly as me,
31
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:20,945
Give it up for the tenderloins,
sal, joe, q, and murr!
32
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[ cheers and applause ]
33
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,485
How's it going, my man?
How's it going?
34
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,821
-How you doing?
-Very good, very good.
35
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,823
[ indistinct talking ]
36
00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:34,693
[ cheers and applause ]
37
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,161
What are you doing?
38
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,230
We said we were gonna
dress as hearts.
39
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Yeah, we were supposed
to be pretty hearts.
40
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,634
-Well --
-you look stupid.
41
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,370
I look great.
-This is what's going on.
42
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:47,239
Happy valentine's day to you.
-You, too. Thank you.
43
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:50,308
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Was -- today's valentine's day?
44
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,643
Yes, murray.
45
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,445
-What do you think this is?
-And you're a newlywed.
46
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,580
I hope you didn't forget
valentine's day.
47
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,516
Ah!
I gotta send a text.
48
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,650
Yeah, you better
send a text.
49
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,118
Sorry.
I'm sorry about that.
50
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,786
Well, while he is doing that,
51
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,788
Let's get to know
our contestants.
52
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,257
Jameela:
Iden, what happened, man?
53
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:08,193
So I was talking to a girl,
the girl right there.
54
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:09,461
-[ gasps ]
-right?
55
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,329
My first girlfriend right there,
that girl right there.
56
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:12,330
-Yeah.
-Whoa!
57
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,398
-I know.
-Wait, wait, what?
58
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,933
-You guys are exes.
-Yeah.
59
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,602
-Exes, yo.
-Oh!
60
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,872
-Mm-hmm.
-Wow! It just got real.
61
00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:23,341
-How long ago was this?
-We broke up 2017.
62
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We haven't seen
each other since.
63
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:25,610
-Wow.
-No!
64
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:26,811
How long were you two guys
together?
65
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,881
-Over a year.
-Over a year, yeah.
66
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:31,083
So one of you is gonna
possibly win a lot of money,
67
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:33,085
And one of you is not.
-Yeah.
68
00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:35,754
This is great.
Siena, what happened?
69
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,423
Okay, so my ex-boyfriend,
iden --
70
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,624
He texted me one day
71
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:42,561
With the old-fashioned,
"we need to talk."
72
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:45,297
Oh!
So naturally, I'm gonna
take a screenshot
73
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,099
And tell my best friend.
74
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:49,834
I sent the screenshot
back to him...
75
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,570
[ laughter ]
76
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:54,773
I've done that
so many times.
77
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:58,510
Okay, well, guys, behold the
keeper of all things miserable.
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It is the traumatron.
79
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,248
-Ooh.
-All right!
80
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,383
-There it is.
-Don't be scared.
81
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,251
And the name of our first game
is misery lane.
82
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,853
I'm going to put two
misery markers on the index,
83
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,556
On the first one is...
84
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,060
[ laughter ]
85
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,596
...Which our shrinks put at a
86
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:18,863
36.
-Okay.
87
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,566
And the second one is...
88
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,606
...Which our shrinks rated
at 75.
89
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,608
-There's a warm front moving in.
-Yeah.
90
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,010
[ laughter and applause ]
91
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,812
Okay, so I'm gonna show
each of you an event,
92
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,480
And you don't have to tell me
the exact number.
93
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,150
You just have to determine
if it falls above, below,
94
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:41,153
Or in between the two cards
that are on the index.
95
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,488
Siena hart,
your name already sounds
96
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,223
Like a sexy shade
of lipstick,
97
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,625
So you get to go first.
98
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,892
-Yes.
-Yes.
99
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,629
-Check out this misery.
-Okay, here we go.
100
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,632
Reporter:
But nathaniel's relationship
with chase goes beyond...
101
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,033
-Stop!
-...Dates and presents.
102
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,435
-No.
-Stop.
103
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,503
There are times
when we get sexual.
104
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,173
-Oh!
-With the car?
105
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:04,309
-Stop it!
-Love you, baby.
106
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:05,577
[ laughter ]
107
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,647
What we do the most often is
I like to lean over his fender
108
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:12,917
And across his hood and
do little things like that.
109
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,919
-Oh, my god.
-One of his more bold positions
110
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,856
Is for me to be
underneath him.
111
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,858
-Oh.
-He really likes it.
112
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,127
It's not okay.
113
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,997
I mean, I bet that new-car smell
didn't last very long.
114
00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,531
[ laughter ]
115
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:30,669
I heard the car goes from zero
to six inches in under a minute.
116
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,872
Siena, what are you feeling
about this so far?
117
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,940
-Okay, so I gave birth to that.
-Yep.
118
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,543
All right, no pain involved,
I don't really think.
119
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:42,547
Emotionally,
I -- I'm feeling very disturbed.
120
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,350
And long-term,
I'm never probably gonna have
121
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,485
Any grandchildren
because it's a car.
122
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,420
-Right, right.
-'cause it's a male car.
123
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,954
-Yeah.
-Yep, yep, for sure.
124
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,024
For me, I think...
125
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,091
[ laughter ]
126
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,292
I can't
take you seriously!
127
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,761
-For me, for me.
-Okay.
128
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,563
-For me.
-[ laughs ]
129
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:01,566
I think that you're correct
in thinking it's above.
130
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,169
I think the trauma
of your son
131
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:07,239
Realizing that is
that messed up is --
132
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:10,108
If you're asking, for me,
I would definitely go above.
133
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,776
Above? Okay,
I'm going with above.
134
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,045
-Above.
-Above.
135
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:15,313
-Okay.
-All right. I'm with you.
136
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,450
So let's see
what our shrinks say.
137
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,118
Good luck.
-Here we go.
138
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,188
-Here we go. Here we go.
-All right.
139
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,989
-Come on.
-Okay, okay, okay.
140
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,859
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
141
00:05:26,861 --> 00:05:28,527
-Keep going, keep going!
-Keep going.
142
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,262
[ buzzer ]
143
00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:32,597
I am afraid that is incorrect,
siena.
144
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:36,068
You did not bank $500,
so iden, you and your team
145
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:38,270
Please check out this misery.
146
00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:39,671
[ music playing ]
147
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,873
They're twerking.
-So far so good.
148
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,140
Jameela: They're twerking
right by the cooker.
149
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,342
-Oh!
-Ooh!
150
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,010
-Was that boiling water?
-Yeah.
151
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,080
Look at the steam
that rises up right afterwards.
152
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,415
-Oh!
-Look at his face!
153
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,350
That went
right in the gap.
154
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,820
-Wow. That was hot.
-Oof.
155
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,689
For me, this is
a straightforward one.
Sure.
156
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,957
Do you guys feel?
157
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,492
I feel like physical pain
is the highest, probably,
158
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,760
Out of the two on the board,
159
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,962
But, like, you heal,
you move on.
160
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,430
I'm gonna go in between.
161
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,299
-That's it. That's my boy.
-He's saying it's in between.
162
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:09,301
What do you think?
[ cheering ]
163
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:11,369
-We got it.
-We need this.
164
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,838
Jameela:
This is amazing.
165
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,709
-Hey, go back, go back.
-Come on! Come on! Come on!
166
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:18,911
-Go back.
-Back you go. Down you go.
167
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:21,646
-Hey!
-Sorry, siena.
168
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,047
But he was correct.
-All right.
169
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,849
Coming up, the money doubles
and so does the misery.
170
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:28,387
And later, one of these
contestants, who are exes,
171
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:31,723
Will get a shot at $30,000.
172
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,693
[ cheers and applause ]
173
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,963
[ cheers and applause ]
174
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,900
♪♪
175
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,869
[ cheers and applause ]
176
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:49,307
I'm sorry.
What is happening?
177
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,442
I'm so sorry, guys.
178
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:51,710
Can we bring the lights down
a little bit?
179
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,111
My wife is here.
If you don't mind?
180
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,913
Just --
happy valentine's day.
181
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,915
Happy valentine's day.
I remembered.
I totally remembered
182
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,783
Joe: There's no way we can do
a game show like this.
183
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,719
We're gonna have to keep
the lights on. [ claps ]
184
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,855
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
The lights have to stay up.
185
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,456
Oh, sorry.
186
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,992
Why am I now the only one
dressed like a dick?
187
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,462
I mean, sal,
how dare you
188
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:13,331
Have that as your commitment
to valentine's day.
189
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,401
How dare you.
I did it! I came.
190
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,737
Anyway, it doesn't matter,
'cause welcome back
191
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:19,938
To "the misery index."
192
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,007
Iden has $500,
and siena has nothing,
193
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,343
But there's lots more
humiliation to explore,
194
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:28,280
For one of them plays
for $30,000!
195
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,749
[ cheers and applause ]
196
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,285
How dare you?
197
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:36,221
The name of our next game is
more or less miserable.
198
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:39,691
Siena, you are trailing behind,
so you are up first.
199
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,894
I'm going to show you
two deeply traumatic events,
200
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,161
And you just have to tell me
201
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,163
Which is worse
according to our shrinks.
202
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,499
So for $1,000,
tell me which one
203
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:51,103
Of these runway romances lands
higher on the misery index.
204
00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:52,905
Is it this?
205
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,112
[ laughter ]
oh, my god.
206
00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:01,580
Okay, all right.
207
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,182
So, the date allegedly ended up
in a bank robbery.
208
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,651
How long have you been together?
20 to life.
209
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,852
-Yeah!
-Nice.
210
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:11,323
Or would you say
this is more miserable?
211
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,598
Could he [bleep] go?
212
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,666
Murray, do you remember
that you were in a game
213
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,802
And there's a contestant here?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
214
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,204
Want to just get your ass
back up here?
215
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,140
Joe: Your date
just got better.
216
00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:30,142
[ applause ]
217
00:08:30,144 --> 00:08:31,476
Hear me out.
218
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,078
I think the head stuck
in the railing is
219
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,947
A little bit worse
'cause you're naked,
220
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:37,416
Police or firemen have to
come to rescue you,
221
00:08:37,418 --> 00:08:38,817
And the guy leaves.
222
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,552
-Yeah. You got abandoned.
-Absolutely.
223
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,620
-Yeah.
-Okay, so, sienna,
224
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,555
Which one
would you say is worse?
225
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,890
Definitely your head gets stuck
in the railing, definitely.
226
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:49,093
Let's first see where our
shrinks put the other choice.
227
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,764
Sal:
One is a hostage situation.
228
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:54,499
77.
It's understandably high.
229
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,501
One involves a firearm.
230
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,972
And now let's see
if you're right.
231
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,506
Oh, I'm nervous now.
232
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,441
-Okay, we'll see what happens.
-It's okay.
233
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,977
It all comes down to --
[ buzzer ]
234
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,845
-Oh!
-So that is incorrect.
235
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,381
And you did not win $1,000.
I'm very, very sorry.
236
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:12,050
That's okay.
Okay, iden, for $1,000,
237
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,452
Tell me which one
of these unlikely couples
238
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,321
Ranks higher
on the misery index.
239
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,190
Is it this?
240
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,198
This is miserable?
241
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,599
I thought this was
a high-five situation.
242
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,601
-This is "the graduate," yeah.
-Yeah.
243
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,736
This is, like,
on the life bingo card.
244
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,872
This is the winning square.
245
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:36,775
Or, iden,
is this more miserable?
246
00:09:43,818 --> 00:09:46,284
No shade to all women.
247
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,887
So he always wanted to put
the [bleep] in that roach?
248
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,356
[ laughter ]
249
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:54,626
That's your husband.
250
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,361
Sal: Here's the thing -- your
boyfriend slept with your mom,
251
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:59,964
But, for me,
it was before he dated you.
252
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,034
-Yeah.
-Boyfriends come and go.
253
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,302
-Yeah.
-Cockroaches stay forever.
254
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,238
-Yeah.
-I still think we're good.
255
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,440
Your son is dating a cockroach
is more miserable.
256
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,242
Jameela: Okay, your son is
dating a cockroach.
257
00:10:10,244 --> 00:10:13,578
Let's see where our shinks put
other choice.
258
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,779
-Oh, boy,
-oh, boy.
259
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,715
-66 -- very, very beatable.
-Beatable.
260
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,384
Jameela: Let's see
if your choice is correct.
261
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:20,919
-Come on, lisa!
-Lisa, bring it home.
262
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,454
[ buzzer ]
263
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,256
Iden, I'm afraid that is
incorrect.
264
00:10:24,258 --> 00:10:26,124
Don't go anywhere,
'cause when we come back,
265
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,660
Someone is headed home,
and someone is moving on
266
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,596
For their shot at $30,000!
267
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:35,067
[ cheers and applause ]
268
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,672
[ cheers and applause ]
269
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:44,476
♪♪
270
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,678
[ romantic violin music plays ]
271
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:50,215
[ laughter ]
272
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,150
Murr, we got a show to do.
Come on.
273
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,819
I got to go work.
I'll be back.
274
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,421
Siena, I apologize.
275
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,890
[ applause ]
276
00:10:57,892 --> 00:11:00,292
So welcome back
to "the misery index."
277
00:11:00,294 --> 00:11:02,827
It all comes down
to this one miserable event
278
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:07,832
To determine who is
the true master of misery,
279
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,370
Moving on to pay for their shot
at the grand prize.
280
00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:13,838
So currently, iden is
in the lead with $500,
281
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,307
And siena still has nothing.
282
00:11:15,309 --> 00:11:17,442
So I'm going to show you both
the same event,
283
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,244
And your job is just to tell us
284
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,045
Where you think it lands
on the misery index.
285
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:24,249
And the closest guess
gets $2,000.
286
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,785
All right!
That's how it goes.
287
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,587
-Here we go.
-We need that. Need that.
288
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:30,789
Please, everyone,
direct your attention
289
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,858
To my good friend the traumatron
for our next misery.
290
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,061
Q lost, and we're here at
the brooklyn cyclones game
291
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,195
For his punishment.
292
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,064
Buddy, all you have to do
is walk out there
293
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:42,534
Onto the pitcher's mound
and just say, "no."
294
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,002
-No?
-No.
295
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,471
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
we kindly ask you
296
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:49,141
To please direct your attention
to the pitcher's mound.
297
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:52,745
Honey, for the last
seven years,
298
00:11:52,747 --> 00:11:58,817
You've made me the happiest
I've ever been in my life.
299
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,219
You are my best friend...
300
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,421
-Aw!
-...My mentor...
301
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:08,427
-Aw!
-...My love, my heart, my world.
302
00:12:08,429 --> 00:12:10,695
From the moment I met you,
303
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,631
I knew this was
something different,
304
00:12:12,633 --> 00:12:14,767
Something I'd never
experienced before.
305
00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:19,037
I don't want to spend
another minute on this earth
306
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,973
Not being your wife.
307
00:12:20,975 --> 00:12:25,177
Brian michael quinn,
will you marry me?
308
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,713
[ laughter ]
309
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,517
God.
310
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:33,718
No.
311
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,521
[ audience groans ]
312
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:39,057
Is this a joke?
313
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,193
-It gets worse.
-No.
314
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,462
[ audience booing ]
315
00:12:43,464 --> 00:12:44,663
...In front of
all these people.
316
00:12:44,665 --> 00:12:46,198
[ crying ]
people marry me.
317
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,066
-Oh!
-Oh, my god.
318
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,335
No.
319
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,136
-It gets worse.
-Boo!
320
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:56,608
[ audience booing ]
321
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,011
-Oh! Oh-ho-ho!
-Oh, my god.
322
00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:00,412
I could just sent her
a text that said,
323
00:13:00,414 --> 00:13:02,747
"we gotta talk,"
but I didn't do that.
324
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,948
I didn't do that.
325
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,818
So, for $2,000,
please talk it through
326
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:08,286
And lock in where you think
"an entire stadium of people
327
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,889
Hates you" lands
on the misery index.
328
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:14,226
I was thinking in the 60s,
like 66 or some --
329
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,760
-I think that's high.
-I think that's high.
330
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,696
For me, it's like 35.
331
00:13:17,698 --> 00:13:20,365
-I think it's high.
-You said 43?
332
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,101
-Yeah.
-Everyone lock in!
333
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,569
Okay.
334
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,238
[ indistinct talking ]
335
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,707
So let's see who has
mastered the misery
336
00:13:28,709 --> 00:13:30,575
By being closest
to the correct answer.
337
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,244
Iden, you said that
338
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,446
"an entire stadium of people
hates you"
339
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:38,650
Lands at a...47.
340
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,252
Okay, okay.
341
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:45,057
And siena, you said
that it lands at a...
342
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:46,391
All: Ooh!
343
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,526
This is a game!
344
00:13:47,528 --> 00:13:49,994
This is it, guys.
This is how we decide...
345
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:53,465
-Come on, siena!
-...Who goes on to win $30,000.
346
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,333
[ cheers and applause ]
347
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,402
-Come on, siena.
-Come on! Happy valentine's day!
348
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,738
-There we go. I think we got it.
-Yes!
349
00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,806
[ bell dinging ]
350
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,408
Jameela: Siena wins!
351
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,544
Unfortunately, that means
we're going to have to
352
00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:08,213
Say goodbye to iden,
but siena is moving on
353
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,415
And will be playing
for the $30,000 grand prize
354
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,751
Right after this.
Don't go anywhere!
355
00:14:12,753 --> 00:14:14,853
[ cheers and applause ]
356
00:14:16,824 --> 00:14:18,757
[ cheers and applause ]
357
00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:21,159
Hello, and welcome back to
"the misery index."
358
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,361
Round 4,
and I'm still dressed like this.
359
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,164
So siena has chosen murr
to assist her
360
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,766
In the grand-prize final round,
361
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:31,637
The $30,000 margin of misery.
362
00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:33,038
Audience: Ooh!
363
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,506
You're all heart, jameela.
364
00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:36,508
Jameela: So now, siena,
if you win it all,
365
00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:38,043
What are you gonna do
with the money?
366
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,712
I'm going to
book a flight to Italy,
367
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,981
And I'm gonna find myself
a nice italian man.
368
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,451
And I'm not coming back.
That's it.
369
00:14:45,453 --> 00:14:46,852
Wow!
370
00:14:46,854 --> 00:14:49,387
Okay, so I am going to show you
three terrible events
371
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,923
Worth $5,000, $10,000
and $15,000.
372
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,059
And after each one,
you will place a range finder
373
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,861
Where you think it lands
on the misery index.
374
00:14:55,863 --> 00:14:58,464
But remember,
as the money gets bigger,
375
00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:01,199
The range finder --
it gets smaller.
376
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,134
You ready to play.
377
00:15:02,136 --> 00:15:03,669
-Yes.
-Yeah, you are.
378
00:15:03,671 --> 00:15:05,070
-Let's go!
-Yeah, you are.
379
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:08,073
-Here we go.
-Let's get miserable.
380
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,208
Audience: Ooh!
381
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,209
[ laughter ]
382
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,812
So your first event
is worth $5,000
383
00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:15,413
And has a range
of 30 points.
384
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,383
Please take a look at this.
385
00:15:24,558 --> 00:15:25,891
[ laughter ]
oh, wow.
386
00:15:25,893 --> 00:15:28,426
Here's the thing --
this is hugely traumatic
387
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,828
To the community.
388
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:33,765
This pastor is never getting
his work back, his faith back.
389
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,233
-Yeah, yeah.
-Right?
390
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,703
You trust this person
with your soul.
Yeah.
391
00:15:37,705 --> 00:15:39,705
You know what it's like
to have your trust broken.
392
00:15:39,707 --> 00:15:41,239
-Yeah.
-Am I right? Iden.
393
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,041
-Yeah.
-Within a range of 30,
394
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:46,111
Where does "your pastor is
caught having sexy time"
395
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,313
Land on the misery index?
396
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,382
Your time starts now.
397
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:54,986
-Come on, siena.
-So, 35, 35, 36.
398
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,255
-5, 4...
-Okay. Good?
399
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,991
-...3, 2, 1.
-I think I'm good.
400
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:04,462
Okay, so you are locked in
between 35 and 65.
401
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,399
For $5,000,
let's see where it lands.
402
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:08,466
Good luck, siena.
403
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,402
Thank you.
404
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,404
-All right.
-Come on, baby. Come on.
405
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:16,274
-Ooh! Oh, my god!
-Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
406
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,544
Slow down, slow down!
-No, no, no!
407
00:16:18,546 --> 00:16:20,478
Ahhh!
-Yes!
408
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,747
That's what
I'm talking about.
409
00:16:21,749 --> 00:16:24,750
And you just banked $5,000
of iden's tears.
410
00:16:24,752 --> 00:16:27,018
[ laughter and applause ]
411
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,221
Siena, this next event
is worth $10,000,
412
00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:31,557
And you're gonna have a range
of 20 points this time.
413
00:16:31,559 --> 00:16:34,826
-Okay.
-Let's take a look at this.
414
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,494
Man: Take a step
to your right.
415
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:40,031
Okay, so they're doing
a virtual-reality exercise.
416
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:42,768
He's trying to convince her to
jump off this virtual building.
417
00:16:42,770 --> 00:16:45,037
-I can't.
-Yeah, you can. Do it.
418
00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:47,239
[ screams, thuds ]
419
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:49,041
-Oh, no!
-Oh, my god.
420
00:16:49,043 --> 00:16:51,043
-Oh!
-Oh, no!
421
00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:53,511
-Oh!
-Oh, my god.
422
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,046
So, the point of view here
423
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,983
Is your husband
virtually kills you.
424
00:16:57,985 --> 00:16:59,717
Oh, my god.
425
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,052
I've played these games
426
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,654
Where you're trying
to walk a tightrope.
427
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:04,322
-Yeah, it looks real.
-And it was terrifying.
428
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,791
-Yeah.
-Your heart races.
429
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:08,860
She's afraid,
but it's not permanent.
430
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:11,196
Physical pain --
obviously, she hit her head
431
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,265
Extremely, extremely hard.
Whack! Yep.
432
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:16,201
And not only that,
her husband pushed her.
433
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,402
-Yeah.
-I think he pushed her.
434
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,938
And that's
just emotional pain.
435
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:21,940
What's the first number
that pops in your head?
436
00:17:21,942 --> 00:17:23,208
Maybe like in the 20?
437
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,676
-Oh.
-Yeah, I agree.
438
00:17:24,678 --> 00:17:26,544
-Start off mid to late?
-Mid-20s? 25-45?
439
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,614
Okay, within a range of 20,
siena, where does
440
00:17:28,616 --> 00:17:31,549
"your husband virtually
kills you" land on the index?
441
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,685
Your 10 seconds starts now.
-25-45?
442
00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:36,154
-27-47
-27.
443
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,424
-26, 27.
-Okay.
444
00:17:38,426 --> 00:17:41,760
-5, 4, 3...
-Yep.
445
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:44,362
...2, 1.
446
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:47,833
So you are locked in
between 27 and 47.
447
00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:49,901
For $10,000,
where did our shrinks
448
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:52,638
Rank this
on the misery index?
449
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:56,308
-Come on, baby!
-Come on, everybody. Come on!
450
00:17:56,310 --> 00:18:00,045
It's vr! It's vr.
It's not permanent!
451
00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:03,715
Yes! Yes! $10,000!
452
00:18:03,717 --> 00:18:06,051
-Oh, my god!
-Oh, my god!
453
00:18:06,053 --> 00:18:08,253
Justice just continues
to be served.
454
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,921
It's really exciting.
Right in the middle.
455
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,324
Okay, so here we go.
This is it.
456
00:18:12,326 --> 00:18:16,594
This is our final misery,
and it's worth $15,000.
457
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,729
-Yes.
-Yes.
458
00:18:17,731 --> 00:18:18,930
But you're gonna have to get it
within a range
459
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,666
Of only 10 points
this time.
460
00:18:20,668 --> 00:18:21,933
-Okay.
-Good luck.
461
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:24,736
Take a look at this.
462
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:27,139
So he's proposing.
He's trying to propose.
463
00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:29,274
She kisses him.
464
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,409
And things go very wrong.
465
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:34,612
-Oh!
-It is a bloody disaster.
466
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,482
And we are calling
this point of view,
467
00:18:36,484 --> 00:18:39,217
"you motorboat your fiancée."
468
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,019
-Not in a good way.
-Wow.
469
00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:42,354
It's a hugely important
moment.
470
00:18:42,356 --> 00:18:44,956
People plan this for years,
months, right?
471
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,692
-Yeah.
-There's some physical pain.
472
00:18:46,694 --> 00:18:48,093
It's an accident.
473
00:18:48,095 --> 00:18:51,163
She flips off the boat.
Her foot goes flailing.
474
00:18:51,165 --> 00:18:54,632
He flies off the boat forward.
It's not long-term.
475
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,168
Yeah.
And this is something funny
476
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:57,302
That they can look back on.
477
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,970
It's not often that a boat
kicks your ass.
478
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,438
-Yeah, yeah.
-That's true.
479
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,374
You're 39-49?
480
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:06,311
I feel like anything over
like 45 is too high for this.
481
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,646
Okay, within a range of 10,
where does
482
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:12,117
"you motorboat your fiancée"
land on the misery index?
483
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:13,985
Your 10 seconds starts...
484
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,653
-Okay.
-...Now!
485
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,589
I'm gonna say 37.
486
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,925
-37, 38.
-Yeah, 37.
487
00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:23,529
-5, 4, 3...
-Okay, okay.
488
00:19:23,531 --> 00:19:25,397
I like it, I like it.
I think it's great.
489
00:19:25,399 --> 00:19:26,932
I like that a lot.
-What do you think?
490
00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:27,933
-I like that.
-I think it's great.
491
00:19:27,935 --> 00:19:29,735
I like that a lot.
I like that a lot.
492
00:19:29,737 --> 00:19:31,937
Oh, it's stressful.
This is stressful.
493
00:19:31,939 --> 00:19:33,939
-I had an interesting thought.
-Yeah.
494
00:19:33,941 --> 00:19:35,407
You went out with
that young man.
Yes.
495
00:19:35,409 --> 00:19:38,476
But if it wasn't for that,
you wouldn't be here right now.
496
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,678
So the question you have to ask
yourself is this --
497
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,347
Financially,
was it worth it?
498
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:45,016
-Yes.
-There you go! There you go.
499
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,752
Put a spin on life
like that.
500
00:19:46,754 --> 00:19:49,621
No matter what happens,
you have already won.
501
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,089
-Yeah.
-Truly.
502
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:56,694
Okay, so you are locked in
between 37 and 47.
503
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,164
How are we feeling
about siena's chances?
504
00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:00,566
[ cheers and applause ]
505
00:20:00,568 --> 00:20:05,971
Okay, for $15,000,
let's see where
506
00:20:05,973 --> 00:20:08,974
"you motorboat your fiancée"
lands on the misery index.
507
00:20:08,976 --> 00:20:10,175
This is it!
508
00:20:10,177 --> 00:20:12,444
-Here we go.
-Here we go!
509
00:20:12,446 --> 00:20:15,247
Siena: Yeah, all right.
I'm confident.
510
00:20:15,249 --> 00:20:17,916
Come on, siena.
511
00:20:17,918 --> 00:20:20,118
Oh, my nerves.
My nerves, my nerves.
512
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,386
Aaaah!
513
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:23,589
[ buzzer ]
514
00:20:23,591 --> 00:20:25,391
Oh, you know what?
That's incorrect,
515
00:20:25,393 --> 00:20:27,726
But it doesn't matter,
'cause congratulations.
516
00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:31,396
Sienna, you're still going home
with $17,500.
517
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,265
[ cheers and applause ]
518
00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:35,733
-High five.
-Yes!
519
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,269
So that'll do it for
"the misery index."
520
00:20:37,271 --> 00:20:39,737
I'm jameela jamil,
and for me and the tenderloins
521
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,406
And lovely siena,
good night.
522
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,741
Mwah!
523
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:45,543
[ cheers and applause ]
524
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:50,416
♪♪
525
00:20:50,418 --> 00:20:52,751
-He's our friend.
-Oh, okay.
526
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:55,020
[ cheers and applause ]
527
00:20:55,022 --> 00:21:01,360
♪♪