1
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:05,404
Welcome to "the misery index,"
where misery loves company.

2
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,205
Yeah! Yeah!
Yes!

3
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:08,607
We have scoured the globe

4
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,809
For the world's most
miserable true stories

5
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,945
And asked a panel
of respected psychologists

6
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,880
To rate those stories based
on three pillars of misery --

7
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,750
Physical pain,
emotional trauma,

8
00:00:17,752 --> 00:00:20,352
Long term
psychological impact.

9
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,554
The higher the combined misery,
the higher it lands

10
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,888
On our misery index.

11
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,157
What is going on?
What is going on?

12
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,159
Our two contestants
must try and decide

13
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:30,495
How those events were rated
for a chance at our grand prize

14
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,297
Of $30,000.

15
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,299
You're about to
win some money!

16
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,901
So let's get miserable.

17
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:39,704
[ cheers and applause ]

18
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:43,442
♪♪

19
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,644
Hello. I'm jameela jamil.

20
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,579
And welcome to
"the misery index."

21
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,382
So, tonight, we have two
very miserable contestants.

22
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,450
We have brenna crowe,
who once accidentally

23
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:54,787
Drenched her doctor in blood.

24
00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:57,322
And josh worster,
who once broadcast

25
00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:59,391
His pee break
to a live audience.

26
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,993
[ laughter ]

27
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:03,728
And now from trutv's
hit "impractical jokers,"

28
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,731
Give it up for the tenderloins,
sal, joe, q, and murr!

29
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,600
[ cheers and applause ]

30
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,135
Hey! Boom!

31
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:13,005
[ cheers and applause ]

32
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:16,074
You're going down.
There she is, there she is.

33
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,276
Here we go. Jameela, always
a pleasure to see you.

34
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,412
Jameela: Always lovely
to see you guys.

35
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,347
Brenna, blood?
What happened?

36
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:25,283
Yeah, so he was trying to
insert an I.V. Into my arm,

37
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And he hit an artery.

38
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,087
Blood exploded
everywhere like a volcano,

39
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,489
Covered him head to toe,

40
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,156
And nurses had to come
rushing in

41
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,092
And sit on my arm
to stop the bleeding.

42
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,227
-What?
-Oh.

43
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,696
Let's sue. Here's my card.
Thank you.

44
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:38,831
And, josh,
what happened?

45
00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,899
I just had finished
singing a song

46
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,567
In a musical,
had to rush off stage,

47
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:46,571
Needed to pee so bad,
but forgot to turn my mic off.

48
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,306
So everybody in the whole
theater heard

49
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,375
The sound of my piss amplified.

50
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:51,776
So embarrassing.

51
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:52,711
That's a good song,
though.

52
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:53,912
[ laughter ]

53
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,514
I hope they thought so, too.

54
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,450
Okay, guys, behold the keeper
of all things miserable,

55
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:02,787
My favorite thing in the world,
the traumatron.

56
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,389
Right.

57
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,526
And the name of our first game
is misery lane.

58
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,062
I'm going to put two
misery markers on the index,

59
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:14,933
And the first one is surprise!
Your spouse has another family.

60
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:15,934
Okay.

61
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:20,072
Which our shrinks rated
at a fair 82.

62
00:02:20,074 --> 00:02:22,274
Yeah, that makes complete sense.
Definitely.

63
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,076
The second one is...

64
00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:26,745
No one remembers you at your
high school reunion.

65
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:30,215
Sad. Which our shrinks
rated at 47.

66
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:32,217
I think the artist did
a great job of recreating q.

67
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,285
That guy's name
is brian.

68
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,953
[ laughter ]

69
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,355
Okay, so, guys, I'm going to
show each of you an event.

70
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,291
You don't have to tell me
the exact number.

71
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,760
You just have to determine
if it falls above or below

72
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:44,429
Or in between the two cards
that you see on the index.

73
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,898
Brenna,
you get to go first.

74
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,366
-All right, let's do it.
-Please check out this misery.

75
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,368
Good luck.

76
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,237
Q: Oh, boy, this isn't
a great start.

77
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,037
Whoa!

78
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,573
Oh, oh, ooh!

79
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,775
Oh, oh!

80
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,110
Oh!

81
00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,778
They definitely
got a splinter.

82
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,914
Here's where jameela goes,
"don't worry, they're fine."

83
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:02,915
They're not dead.

84
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,449
How?!

85
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,384
Would you rather cheated on,
or would you rather

86
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,787
Get just a forest
all over your face?

87
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:09,988
I would rather
get cheated on.

88
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,390
[ laughter ]

89
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,458
Think of how long they had
to be stuck under there, too.

90
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:14,927
The emotional trauma of that.

91
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:18,463
Your spouse bred other life,
another family.

92
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:21,065
I know, but it's
a lot of wood in your face.

93
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,267
-I know.
-In both situations.

94
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,268
Jameela:
In both accounts, yeah.

95
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,338
[ laughter ]
we said the same thing.

96
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,339
Sorry.

97
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,141
Don't clap us.
We're animals.

98
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:30,542
[ laughter ]

99
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,543
That's a good point.

100
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,145
Well, brenna, for $500,

101
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:36,014
Does your crushed
by rolling logs land above,

102
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,349
Below, or in between

103
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,818
Surprise! Your spouse
has another family

104
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,087
And no one remembers you
at your high school reunion

105
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,355
On the misery index?

106
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,689
I'm thinking above.
What is your gut instinct?

107
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,358
My gut says above, but...

108
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,427
You are crushed
by rolling logs.

109
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,096
Yeah, but you're crushed
by your spouse cheating.

110
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,364
[ laughter ]

111
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,766
So, brenna?

112
00:03:53,768 --> 00:03:57,369
I am going to go you're crushed
by rolling logs is above.

113
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,171
All right.
I agree. I agree.

114
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:01,640
Jameela: Okay, you've
said it is above.

115
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:02,907
I support you.
I agree.

116
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,442
That's high 80s, low 90s.
It has to be.

117
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,910
You're crushed.

118
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,181
And now it's time for us to see
what our shrinks say.

119
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:12,751
Joe: It's got to be.
It's got to be.

120
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,255
I mean, the speed at which
those logs hit those people.

121
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,724
-Keep going up.
-Come back. Come back up now.

122
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,593
You're going way too slow.

123
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,462
[ cheers and applause ]

124
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,397
Oh, 92?

125
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,466
Whoo! 92!

126
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:28,933
Well, brenna,
you are correct

127
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,869
And you just to go $500.

128
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,471
Strong start.
There you go.

129
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:35,140
So, josh,
check out this misery.

130
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,675
And this is tough.
It is.

131
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,411
Listen,
give you an example

132
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,680
Say you have to get up
in the wall,

133
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,548
High ceiling,
vaulted ceiling.

134
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:44,683
Just walk right up.

135
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:45,750
This is not gonna
end good.

136
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,619
It's very safe.
It's durable.

137
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,087
Do you have a license?

138
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,090
-Oh, really?
-Don't keep going.

139
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:55,227
It's still okay,
it's still okay.

140
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:56,829
Brenna: Oh, god.

141
00:04:56,831 --> 00:05:00,765
Why still go?
You know it's not right.

142
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,836
This clip looks like it's from
the 1700s, by the way.

143
00:05:03,838 --> 00:05:05,237
Why's it look so old?

144
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:08,573
Okay, so for $500, does
the product you're selling fails

145
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,709
Land above, below,
or in between

146
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,911
These two chords
on the index,

147
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,312
Your instinct was between?

148
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,980
Yeah.
I think it's lower

149
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,182
Than the high school
reunion.

150
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:18,983
The high school reunion
is your identity,

151
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,186
Your sense of self.
Your gut says in between.

152
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,521
So you want
to go in between?

153
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,589
You guys make a good point.
That's what they pay us.

154
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,124
We have been wrong before.

155
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,060
They pay us for
our solid knowledge of products

156
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:30,128
But they pay us regardless
of whether

157
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,196
We're right or wrong.

158
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,131
[ laughter ]

159
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,999
You know,
I think it's close,

160
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:39,003
But let's go slightly lower
than the high school reunion.

161
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,140
Jameela: Josh, I just feel said
that it was slightly.

162
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,809
Let's see what
our shrinks say.

163
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,479
[ chuckles ] I hope
we steered you right.

164
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:48,947
We'll see.

165
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:49,748
-Come on.
-Come on.

166
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,684
Back down, come on.

167
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,818
Okay, make a left.

168
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,555
Back down.
Keep going, keep going.

169
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,157
[ cheers and applause ]

170
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,893
That's the definition
of slightly lower.

171
00:06:00,895 --> 00:06:02,561
Okay, so you are correct.

172
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,363
You have banked yourself $500.
Well done.

173
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,830
[ cheers and applause ]
all right.

174
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,832
Coming up, the money doubles,
but so does the misery.

175
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,634
And later, one of
these contestants

176
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:12,237
Will get a shot at 30 grand.

177
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:15,507
[ cheers and applause ]

178
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,014
[ cheers and applause ]

179
00:06:22,016 --> 00:06:24,016
Hello, and welcome back to
"the misery index."

180
00:06:24,018 --> 00:06:27,151
So, brenna has $500,
and josh also has $500.

181
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,553
Yeah, he does.
Yeah.

182
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:32,090
But there is lots more
humiliation to be had before

183
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:35,027
One of them plays for $30,000.

184
00:06:35,029 --> 00:06:39,031
So much more. So much more
humiliation and money.

185
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:42,167
The name of our next game
is more or less miserable.

186
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,036
So, josh, this time,
you are up first.

187
00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:46,905
I'm going to show you
two deeply traumatic events,

188
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,508
And you just have to tell me
which one is worse

189
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,043
According to our shrinks.

190
00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:55,580
For $1,000, tell me which one
of these carnal catastrophes

191
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,049
Lands higher on
the misery index.

192
00:06:57,051 --> 00:06:58,517
Is it this?

193
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:02,387
"woman swinger, 52,
at sex festival

194
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:06,191
After overdoing it
during group activities."

195
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,392
What a way to go.

196
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,194
[ laughter ]

197
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,796
I always wonder
when these people die,

198
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:15,133
She just had a heart attack, but
what do you say at the funeral?

199
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,334
She was surrounded
by loved ones.

200
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,537
[ laughter ]

201
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:22,140
Or is this more miserable?

202
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:26,278
"man hospitalized after wife
puts 'chastity nut' on his penis

203
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,413
While he slept."

204
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:29,548
-Oh!
-The metal nut had been

205
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,217
Placed there by his wife
after she found out he allegedly

206
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,619
Had a habit of sleeping around.

207
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,088
Chastity nut?
Chastity nut

208
00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:37,956
Is a great porn name.

209
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,157
Just so you know,

210
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,961
This not had to be cut
from his penis using...

211
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,162
A saw.

212
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,363
Oh!

213
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,498
Better than a blowtorch.

214
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,567
[ laughter ]

215
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,969
I don't know if the artist
has ever been to an orgy.

216
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,705
That is not what
it looks like.

217
00:07:52,707 --> 00:07:55,039
No, no,
joe that checks out.

218
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,241
Okay.
Jameela: Yeah, that's normal.

219
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,442
-Right, q?
-That's not how it works.

220
00:07:57,444 --> 00:08:00,178
This is how we go.
That's how we go.

221
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,447
[ applause ]

222
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:03,648
That's how I do it.

223
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,585
Can we all recreate
that right now?

224
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,520
When your [bleep]
goes to prison...

225
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:11,323
You can't say that
on tv.

226
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,658
When ernest
goes to jail,

227
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,993
That's probably
really rough.

228
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,461
You know,
the trauma of that.

229
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:17,529
You wake up to that.

230
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,264
And you went to the orgy
on your own accord.

231
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,599
He never
feared for his life

232
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,467
When his crank was in...

233
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,602
In a crank.

234
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:27,071
Yeah, listen, my gut says
it's the prison [bleep]

235
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,206
I agree. I agree.

236
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,810
Okay, so, josh, for $1,000,
which is more miserable?

237
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,278
I think it's going to be
your wife puts

238
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,613
Your [bleep] in prison.

239
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,880
-Yeah, I agree.
-It's all of us against murray.

240
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:36,949
Wow!
-I agree.

241
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:40,218
Let's see what our shrinks say.

242
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:43,422
-Oh, a tie. A tie.
-Oh, boy.

243
00:08:43,424 --> 00:08:46,758
Need prison [bleep] to be 77,
and I said that on television.

244
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,760
[ laughter ]

245
00:08:47,762 --> 00:08:50,195
Let's see if you're right.
Good luck.

246
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,832
♪♪

247
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,634
Yes! Yes yeah!

248
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,103
Ooh, that was close.
Wow!

249
00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:02,307
So well done. You have just
won yourself $1,000.

250
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,643
[ cheers and applause ]
more money.

251
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:07,646
Okay, brenna, how are you
feeling? You all right?

252
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,981
I'm good. I'm ready.
Let's do this.

253
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,248
Okay. So, brenna,
for $1,000,

254
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,251
Tell me which one of these
moving violations ranks

255
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,987
Higher on
the misery index?

256
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,789
Is it this?

257
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:21,459
His car has been stolen.

258
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:22,795
Oh.

259
00:09:22,797 --> 00:09:24,463
[ laughter ]

260
00:09:24,465 --> 00:09:25,930
-[bleep]
-oh, god.

261
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,932
-Oh, my god.
-Oh, my gosh.

262
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:30,002
Stole my car.

263
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,470
Joe: Stole our car?

264
00:09:31,472 --> 00:09:34,673
Wow! If I'm going to jump
on a car or risk my life

265
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,541
To save a car,
it ain't gonna be that.

266
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:37,942
Absolutely not.

267
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:38,811
That is a clunker.

268
00:09:38,813 --> 00:09:41,346
Or is this more miserable?

269
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,747
"four michigan men arrested

270
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,483
For driving horse and buggy
while drunk.

271
00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:46,485
Deputies caught them
tossing beer cans

272
00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:48,487
Out of the buggy at 4:00 p.M.?

273
00:09:48,489 --> 00:09:50,288
Sal: Photos.

274
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,490
None of us would get upset.

275
00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:53,091
They look like
they had a good time.

276
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,093
[ laughter ]

277
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,163
This is clearly
some fun high jinks

278
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,431
With a horse and buggy,

279
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,100
Or you may get killed
by your own piece of crap car.

280
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,636
Yeah, and if your hands
get slippery and you just

281
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:05,704
Start falling off.

282
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,971
Right. Or he turns
on the windshield wipers.

283
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,573
Oh, my god.

284
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,108
They probably don't work
in that car, let's be honest.

285
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,443
You're right. They probably
don't work in that car.

286
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:13,378
Brenna, which one do you think
is more miserable?

287
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,380
Your car gets stolen
and so do you,

288
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,250
Or you are arrested
for drinking and buggying?

289
00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:19,784
Your car gets stolen,
and so do you

290
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,254
Is definitely
more miserable.

291
00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:25,524
And now it's time for us
to see what our shrinks say.

292
00:10:25,526 --> 00:10:27,726
Low, low, low,
low, low, low.

293
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,195
57.

294
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,731
Well, the haircuts
were broadcast to the world.

295
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,733
[ laughter ]
that, that.

296
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:37,069
That's a reason.
That's a 57.

297
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,537
[ laughter ]

298
00:10:38,539 --> 00:10:39,738
Okay, let's see if your choice
is correct.

299
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,005
Good luck.

300
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:41,874
It has to be, it has to be.
Come on!

301
00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:43,408
Give us that $1,000.

302
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,609
Yes!

303
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,745
Jameela: 66!

304
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,747
That is correct.
Well done.

305
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,815
You just won yourselves $1,000.

306
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,484
[ cash register dings ]

307
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,619
Do not go anywhere
because when we come back,

308
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:57,489
Someone is headed home
and someone is moving on

309
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,425
For a shot at $30,000.

310
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,028
[ cheers and applause ]

311
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,902
Welcome back to
"the misery index."

312
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,371
It all comes down to this
one miserable event

313
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,442
To determine who is
the true master of misery,

314
00:11:16,444 --> 00:11:19,445
Moving on to play for their shot
at the grand prize.

315
00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:21,246
Brenna has $1,500.

316
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:24,316
And josh also has $1,500.

317
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:26,852
Guys, I'm going to show you
both the same event.

318
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,454
And your job is just to tell us

319
00:11:28,456 --> 00:11:30,255
Where it lands
on the misery index.

320
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,058
And the closest guess
gets $2,000.

321
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,794
[ cheers and applause ]

322
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,863
Alright.
Whoever has the most money

323
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,265
At the end of this round
is the one who will move on

324
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:42,668
For a chance at 30 grand.

325
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:43,935
[ cheers and applause ]

326
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,737
Brenna.

327
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,072
[ exhales deeply ]
it's been close.

328
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,274
How are you feeling?
I'm feeling like a winner.

329
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,476
[ applause ]
ah.

330
00:11:50,478 --> 00:11:52,478
I like the confidence.

331
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,480
-Josh?
-I'm ready to get miserable.

332
00:11:54,482 --> 00:11:56,348
Let's do this.
Joe: Yeah!

333
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:58,083
He even used
the tag line.

334
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:01,353
Please, everyone, direct your
attention to the traumatron

335
00:12:01,355 --> 00:12:03,221
For our next misery.

336
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,357
We are at
the state fair meadowlands

337
00:12:05,359 --> 00:12:06,825
For sal's punishment,
and I have never been

338
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,027
More excited in my life.

339
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,896
Joe: When sal showed up today,
we took his car keys.

340
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,764
We decided to hide them
in the elephant poop.

341
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,966
[ laughter ]
no, that's -- no.

342
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,035
I didn't want to say anything,
but with the crapped before,

343
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,170
I heard a "beep-boop."

344
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,506
[ laughter ]

345
00:12:20,508 --> 00:12:23,441
[ chanting
"finding those keys!" ]

346
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,243
Oh, no.

347
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,579
Oh.

348
00:12:27,715 --> 00:12:28,714
[ laughter ]

349
00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:30,182
It's a little deeper,
buddy.

350
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,316
I'm gonna be here
for a while.

351
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,852
Bare handed?

352
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,921
-Oh!
-Ah!

353
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,655
That's awful.

354
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,791
[ laughter ]

355
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,526
[ audience groans ]

356
00:12:40,528 --> 00:12:41,393
Did deep.

357
00:12:41,395 --> 00:12:42,861
Shut the [bleep] up!

358
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,062
[ laughter ]

359
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,264
Where the [bleep] is it?!

360
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,935
[ laughter ]

361
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:50,936
Oh!

362
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,538
This is the worst
thing I ever did!

363
00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:54,139
[ laughter ]
oh, my god.

364
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,808
No.

365
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,944
Look at him.

366
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,413
Oh, I was supposed to
put it in there?

367
00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:02,881
[bleep]

368
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,817
[ laughter ]

369
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,086
Beep, boop, boop.

370
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,688
[ laughter ]

371
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,023
It's still so fun.

372
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,425
Q: It works.
It still works.

373
00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:15,561
You have touched me
with those hands?

374
00:13:15,563 --> 00:13:17,695
[ laughter ]

375
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,164
That doesn't sound good.

376
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,432
[ laughter ]

377
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:23,835
Okay, so now for $2,000,
talk it through

378
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,771
And lock in where
you think you have

379
00:13:25,773 --> 00:13:29,575
To search through elephant shit
lands on the misery index.

380
00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:30,776
What's your number?

381
00:13:30,778 --> 00:13:32,310
I think before
we say anything.

382
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,380
I was thinking over 60.

383
00:13:34,382 --> 00:13:37,115
Just wash your hands,
and you're kind of done.

384
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,117
Yeah.
Want to go 20?

385
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,185
That's why I want to bring it
down a half.

386
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,987
Yeah, then maybe 40s.
Yeah.

387
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,456
Okay, guys, I'm going to need
you to lock in.

388
00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:45,257
We're in.

389
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:46,792
[ cheers and applause ]

390
00:13:46,794 --> 00:13:49,661
Everyone is locked in.

391
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,264
Okay, so let's see
who has mastered the misery

392
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:55,400
By being closest
to the correct answer.

393
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:58,804
Brenna, you said that having
searched through elephant shit

394
00:13:58,806 --> 00:14:02,073
Lands at a...

395
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,475
-Oh!
-...22.

396
00:14:03,477 --> 00:14:04,742
Q: That's perfect,
that's perfect.

397
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:05,877
-Whoa!
-Yeah.

398
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:10,816
Okay, and, josh,
you said that it lands at a...

399
00:14:10,818 --> 00:14:13,351
Are you guys crazy?!
...43?

400
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,287
That's what the man said.
There's no way.

401
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:18,023
Let's see what
our shrinks say.

402
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,626
[ applause ]

403
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,299
-Come on!
-Come on.

404
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,434
Oh, stay there.

405
00:14:28,436 --> 00:14:29,835
[ cheers and applause ]

406
00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:30,969
[ bell dinging ]

407
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:34,773
Congratulations, josh,
you just won $2,000.

408
00:14:34,775 --> 00:14:37,843
Unfortunately, that means
that we are going to have to

409
00:14:37,845 --> 00:14:39,244
Say goodbye to brenna.

410
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,513
But josh is moving on,
and he will be playing

411
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:45,050
For the $30,000 grand prize
right after this.

412
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:49,388
[ cheers and applause ]

413
00:14:51,859 --> 00:14:53,659
[ cheers and applause ]

414
00:14:53,661 --> 00:14:54,926
Whoo!

415
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,528
Hello, and welcome back
to "the misery index."

416
00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:58,930
So josh has chosen joe
to assist him

417
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:04,136
In the grand prize final round,
the $30,000 margin of misery.

418
00:15:04,138 --> 00:15:06,738
[ audience "ooh"s ]
alright.

419
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,673
So, josh, if you win it all,

420
00:15:07,675 --> 00:15:09,074
What are you going to do
with the money?

421
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,676
Well, I'm a piano player,
so 30 grand

422
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:12,678
Is going to go
for a baby grand.

423
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,612
-Oh!
-Oh, so nice!

424
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,282
So sophisticated.
Joe: Sophisticated.

425
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:19,818
Okay, so I'm going to show you
three terrible events

426
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,887
Worth $5,000, $10,000
and $15,000.

427
00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:24,690
After each one, you will
place a range finder

428
00:15:24,692 --> 00:15:26,824
Where you think
it lands on the misery index.

429
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,426
But as the money gets bigger,

430
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,962
The range finder
becomes smaller.

431
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:31,897
[ exhales deeply ]

432
00:15:31,899 --> 00:15:33,499
You ready to play?

433
00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:37,169
I'm ready.
So let's get miserable.

434
00:15:37,171 --> 00:15:38,636
[ cheers and applause ]

435
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,172
Sal: Here we go, josh.
We're on your team now, buddy.

436
00:15:40,174 --> 00:15:41,573
Joe: Alright.

437
00:15:41,575 --> 00:15:43,509
Josh, your first event
is worth $5,000

438
00:15:43,511 --> 00:15:45,511
And has a range
of 30 points this time.

439
00:15:45,513 --> 00:15:46,879
Take a look at this.

440
00:15:47,581 --> 00:15:48,980
[ grunts ]

441
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,782
Oh, he's lifting,
he's lifting.

442
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,518
He's stumbling.
Get it.

443
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,052
[ groans ]
he's not feeling good.

444
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,053
Get -- no.

445
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,188
[ audience groans ]

446
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:57,856
And he's out.
And he's out.

447
00:15:57,858 --> 00:15:59,525
This is the sole reason
I don't work out.

448
00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:01,326
[ laughter ]

449
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,327
Okay, so what are
you thinking?

450
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,196
Listen, there's a lot
of physical pain there

451
00:16:04,198 --> 00:16:05,731
That -- ouch.

452
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:06,932
The emotional pain...

453
00:16:06,934 --> 00:16:09,067
He threw out a "ohh,"
everybody's looking at you.

454
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,937
I'm kind of thinking
60 to 90.

455
00:16:11,939 --> 00:16:13,471
I don't think
it's going to be a 90.

456
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,940
So I might back that down
a little bit just so you get

457
00:16:14,942 --> 00:16:16,341
A little piece
of the 50s.

458
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:19,010
Okay, so within a range of 30,
where does

459
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,947
"your workout doesn't work out"
land on the misery index?

460
00:16:21,949 --> 00:16:24,082
Your time starts now.

461
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:27,285
Come on, josh. Come on.
Go, go. There you go.

462
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,222
[ cheering ]

463
00:16:30,224 --> 00:16:34,492
Okay, you are locked in
between 54 and 84.

464
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,963
For $5,000, let's see where
it lands. Good luck.

465
00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:39,565
Alright, come on,
it does this all the time.

466
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,767
Alright, we need to climb,
we need to climb.

467
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:42,968
Come on, come on,
come on.

468
00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:44,570
Go, go, go, go, go.

469
00:16:44,572 --> 00:16:46,438
It's up there.
It's gonna be up there.

470
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,173
[ buzzer ]

471
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,175
One used baby grand
coming at you.

472
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,309
[ laughter ]

473
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,710
So that is incorrect.

474
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,312
I'm afraid you
did not bank $5,000.

475
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,916
But it's okay because this
next event is worth $10,000,

476
00:16:57,918 --> 00:17:00,586
And you'll have a range
of 20 points this time.

477
00:17:00,588 --> 00:17:02,454
Look at this.

478
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,522
"thieves try to steal petrol
from bus,

479
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,258
End up siphoning raw sewage."

480
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,793
[ audience groans ]
joe: Oh, man.

481
00:17:07,795 --> 00:17:10,195
Just to be clear,
we were sucking on

482
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,064
What he thought was
the petrol pipe,

483
00:17:12,066 --> 00:17:13,932
But actually it was
the poo pipe.

484
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,734
Man, sucking on the poo pipe,
that ain't good.

485
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,536
That's emotionally scarring.
Yeah.

486
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,938
I think that's high,
for sure.

487
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:21,739
Traumatic.
That's gross, traumatic.

488
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:22,874
Can't get
that taste out.

489
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,810
No, not at all.
What are you thinking?

490
00:17:24,812 --> 00:17:27,946
Close to 75, 80.

491
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:29,347
-Oh, oh.
-Okay, so that's...

492
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,549
Josh.

493
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,619
Don't listen to them.
Listen to yourself.

494
00:17:33,621 --> 00:17:34,886
So you think 75.

495
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:35,821
I think you're crazy.
That's too high.

496
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:37,956
Okay, alright.

497
00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:40,092
I mean, I would cover
the same ground.

498
00:17:40,094 --> 00:17:43,228
I you would say,
you know, 49 to 69.

499
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,831
Okay, well it's time.
Within a range of 20,

500
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:48,366
Where does,
"oops you slurped sewage" land

501
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,035
On the index?
Ugh.

502
00:17:50,037 --> 00:17:53,305
Your 10 seconds starts now.

503
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,973
Murr: Come on, josh.
Come on.

504
00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:59,777
Something in
the 40s, 45.

505
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:04,115
Jameela: 3, 2, 1.
Lock in.

506
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,851
[ applause ]

507
00:18:05,853 --> 00:18:09,855
Okay, you are locked in
between 44 and 64.

508
00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:12,458
For $10,000,
where did our shrinks rate it

509
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:13,525
On the misery index?

510
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:14,993
Let's find out.

511
00:18:14,995 --> 00:18:17,595
All right.
All right, all right. Come on.

512
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,930
Come back up.

513
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,199
Climb, climb, climb.

514
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,201
Get up there!

515
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,536
Yes!

516
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:26,738
[ cheers and applause ]

517
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,806
Alright!

518
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,009
-That's it.
-Nice work, bud.

519
00:18:31,011 --> 00:18:34,546
Correct! You have just
banked yourself $10,000.

520
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,348
That feels good.
That feels good.

521
00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:39,217
Here we go.
Our final misery is worth

522
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:42,020
$15,000 this time.

523
00:18:42,022 --> 00:18:45,557
And you're going to have to get
it within a range of only 10.

524
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:46,558
-Okay.
-Okay.

525
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,761
Good luck.
Take a look at this.

526
00:18:50,364 --> 00:18:53,098
"man survives trip
through wood chipper.

527
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,501
'it caught me pretty bad,'
he said.

528
00:18:55,503 --> 00:18:58,436
He suffered a broken pelvis,
a shattered ankle,

529
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,305
A bruised liver, a broken leg,

530
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,640
And a cut so deep
that it crushed his knee,

531
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,110
Seven broken ribs,
and a collapsed lung.

532
00:19:05,112 --> 00:19:06,244
That's it?

533
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,112
[ laughter ]

534
00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,580
Yeah, I was actually
going to say,

535
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,382
I feel like that's not even
a very effective wood chipper.

536
00:19:10,384 --> 00:19:11,449
No.
He looks fine.

537
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,185
-Yeah, yeah
-that's some of the worst

538
00:19:13,187 --> 00:19:15,587
Physical pain.
100%.

539
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:16,922
Emotional trauma,
you think you're going to die.

540
00:19:16,924 --> 00:19:18,724
Yeah, that's up there.
It's up there for sure.

541
00:19:18,726 --> 00:19:20,458
I would say
somewhere around 90.

542
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:21,593
I'd say 80 to 90.

543
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,329
Digging through elephant dung
was a 48.

544
00:19:23,331 --> 00:19:25,397
Okay, so within
a range of 10,

545
00:19:25,399 --> 00:19:27,733
Where does "you go through
wood chipper" land

546
00:19:27,735 --> 00:19:28,867
On the misery index?

547
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:31,870
Your time starts now.
Here we go.

548
00:19:31,872 --> 00:19:33,339
Murr: Come on, josh.

549
00:19:33,341 --> 00:19:35,673
Q: What are you thinking, bud?

550
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,944
Jameela: 5, 4, 3...

551
00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:40,746
-Okay.
-Alright.

552
00:19:40,748 --> 00:19:42,147
You're locked in.

553
00:19:42,149 --> 00:19:43,281
Shall we, guys?
Guys?

554
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,350
Survived, survived.

555
00:19:44,352 --> 00:19:47,085
They're coming
to give you moral support.

556
00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:48,620
This is tense.
Those high 90s

557
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:49,621
Right now
are scaring me.

558
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,223
But I'm staying positive.

559
00:19:51,225 --> 00:19:52,358
Hey, guys, there's only
one way to find out.

560
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:53,491
Yeah.

561
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,894
Okay, for $15,000,
this is it.

562
00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:59,364
Let's see where it lands
on the misery index.

563
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,567
Come on, josh.
We all want this for you.

564
00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:04,236
-Come on, bud.
-It's gonna be dramatic.

565
00:20:04,238 --> 00:20:06,504
Jameela: Gonna come back up.
It's gonna come back.

566
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,375
[ indistinct shouting ]

567
00:20:09,377 --> 00:20:11,377
Going up, going up,
going up.

568
00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:12,778
Yes! Yes!

569
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:16,982
[ cheers and applause ]

570
00:20:16,984 --> 00:20:18,384
-Yes!
-Congratulations!

571
00:20:18,386 --> 00:20:20,118
That is correct,
and it means that you are

572
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:24,256
Going home with $28,500.

573
00:20:24,258 --> 00:20:26,392
[ cheers and applause ]

574
00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:27,659
Wow!

575
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:30,128
That will do it
for "the misery index."

576
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:32,598
I'm jameela jamil,
and for me and the tenderloins,

577
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,532
And josh, good night.

578
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:37,335
[ cheers and applause ]

579
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:40,272
♪♪

580
00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:42,941
That was insane.

581
00:20:42,943 --> 00:20:45,210
It's gonna be good piano.

582
00:20:45,212 --> 00:20:52,150
♪♪

583
00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:59,024
♪♪