1 00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:06,239 Welcome to "The Misery Index," where misery loves company. 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:07,741 -Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! 3 00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,442 Jameela: We have scoured the globe 4 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,778 for the world's most miserable true stories, 5 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,813 then asked a panel of respected psychologists 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,616 to rate those stories based on three pillars of misery -- 7 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,451 physical pain, emotional trauma, 8 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,520 and long-term psychological impact. 9 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,789 The higher the combined misery, 10 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,557 the higher it lands on our misery index. 11 00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:25,959 Oh! Oh, my God! 12 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:27,894 Our two contestants must try and decide 13 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,930 how those events were rated for a chance at our grand prize 14 00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:33,099 of $30,000. 15 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,034 You're about to win some money! 16 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,736 So, let's get miserable. 17 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:39,072 [ Cheers and applause ] 18 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:44,077 ♪♪ 19 00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,812 Hello. I'm Jameela Jamil. 20 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,714 And welcome to "The Misery Index." 21 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,650 Tonight, we have two very miserable contestants -- 22 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,719 James Schultz, who once farted 23 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,254 in front of a president, 24 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,656 and Hibba Kapil, who was once 25 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,525 robbed in a rickshaw. 26 00:00:58,591 --> 00:01:00,894 And now from truTV's hit "Impractical Jokers," 27 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,228 give it up for the Tenderloins -- 28 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:04,097 Sal, Joe, Q, and Murr! 29 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:05,932 [ Cheers and applause ] Hello. 30 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:10,770 Oh, no, they didn't! Oh, no, they didn't! 31 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,706 Ready to win some money? So nice to meet you. 32 00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:17,410 It's been brought, Jameela. We are here. 33 00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,179 Nice to see you guys. How are you? 34 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,014 Nice to see you. Good, good. How are you? 35 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,582 Good, good. Very good. 36 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,551 Alright, you farted in front of a president. 37 00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:26,085 -What happened? -Yes, Jameela. 38 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:30,290 I farted in front of former president Bill Clinton. 39 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,793 As I was shaking his hand, I let out an audible fart. 40 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,595 And -- Oh, you're a legend. 41 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,430 You're a legend. 42 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,833 Now, I knew that he heard it 43 00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,435 because he looked directly at me as I'm shaking his hand 44 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:45,171 and just leans in and just go, "Oh, boy, that was nice. 45 00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:46,339 Alright. 46 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:47,740 I'll see you later, man. Nice to meet you." 47 00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:50,376 Hibba, tell us what happened. 48 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,712 Well, this was in India a couple of years ago. 49 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,547 I was coming on a rickshaw with my mom, 50 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,717 and my purse was in my hand, and two guys come from the back 51 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,419 and they tried to snatch the purse. 52 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,920 And I'm thinking I'm some ninja warrior. 53 00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:02,789 I'm, like, holding on to it. 54 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,191 Of course, I ended up being dragged along the purse. 55 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,594 The worst part is, my mom was more upset 56 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,028 about the purse than me. 57 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:10,763 -Ohh. -I think so. 58 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:11,798 Classic. 59 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,299 [ Laughter ] 60 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:16,703 Okay, guys, please behold the keeper of all things miserable. 61 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:18,605 It is the Traumatron. 62 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,708 All: Ooh! 63 00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:22,876 You're gonna be great. 64 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:25,078 The name of our first game is Misery Lane. 65 00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:27,247 I'm gonna put two misery markers on the index. 66 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,082 And the first one is... 67 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,051 [ All groan ] 68 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:33,253 -Gosh. -Oh, no. Oh. 69 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,588 And our shrinks put that at a... 70 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,856 That's got to be high up there. Yeah. Thank you. 71 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,591 -Yeah. -67. That's fair. 72 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,460 And the second one is... 73 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,599 And our shrinks only put this... 74 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,901 at 28. -28. Yep. 75 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,769 So I'm going to show each of you an event. 76 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,371 You don't have to tell me the exact number. 77 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:53,706 You just have to determine if it falls above, below, 78 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:56,643 or in between the two cards that you see on the index. 79 00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:58,444 James, you get to go first. 80 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,513 Oh, nice. 81 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:04,217 Please check out this misery. 82 00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,152 Once we scan back up, keep your eye 83 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,388 on the top of the mountain right there. Q: Oh, no, mountain climbing. on the top of the mountain right there. Q: Oh, no, mountain climbing. 84 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:09,889 Oh! oh. 85 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:11,157 But look at what happened. 86 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:12,759 Joe: He's falling down a mountain. 87 00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:14,794 Oh, wow. It's like a movie. 88 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,063 -Oh! -Oh, oh, oh. 89 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,698 It just keep going. 90 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:21,634 -Oh. Oh, my God. -Oh, oh. 91 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,837 Oh. This is -- This is Action Park in New Jersey. 92 00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,973 I actually had a great time here when I was a kid. 93 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,808 It's fantastic. That's what they would do. It's the Alpine Slide. It's fantastic. That's what they would do. It's the Alpine Slide. 94 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,977 The Alpine Slide. Q: Yeah, the Alpine Slide at Action Park. 95 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,046 James, I'm sorry to cut to the chase, 96 00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:34,280 but falling down a mountain is worse. 97 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,582 That's your final answer. 98 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:37,250 [ Laughter ] 99 00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:40,653 We've decided -- the mountain. 100 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,889 When he -- Listen, come here. Oh, my God. 101 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,491 When he's in beast mode, we make money. 102 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,893 Do you understand what I'm saying? Absolutely. 103 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,661 He's in beast mode. Yeah, I see him. He's in beast mode. Yeah, I see him. 104 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,163 You see him, right? Alright, alright, alright. 105 00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:52,365 -Alright. -James, what do you think? 106 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:54,133 Number one, I'm definitely gonna think about 107 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,368 the idea of physical pain. 108 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,503 You're falling down a mountain. 109 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,939 You think you could literally die, 110 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:01,774 and the paper cut on your cornea, 111 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,843 you could probably heal much quicker. 112 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,478 Enough. The answer's mountain. 113 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:06,913 Let's see. 114 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,116 So with Beast Murr, I am going to say 115 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:13,086 that you falling down a mountain is above. 116 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,220 -Very good. -There you go. 117 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,255 Jameela: Okay, you have said it is above. 118 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,890 Let's see what our shrinks say. 119 00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,592 Good luck. 120 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:20,860 Alright. 121 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,629 I wouldn't even be worried. He's in beast mode. 122 00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:23,997 You ain't got to worry about this, dude. 123 00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:25,498 You got it. Come on, come on, come on. 124 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,600 Go. Go. Go. 125 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:28,968 Keep going, keep going, keep going. 126 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,536 Oh, oh. Keep going, keep going, keep going. 127 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,338 -Yes! -Alright. 128 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,539 Whoo! 129 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:36,142 You are correct, and you just won yourself $500. 130 00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:37,510 -Well done. -Whoo! 131 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:40,313 It's a start. Celebration's not necessary. It's a start. Celebration's not necessary. 132 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,082 Jameela: Okay, Hibba, please check out this misery. 133 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,984 Okay. 134 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,387 Woman: This 11-year-old boy from Brazil 135 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,489 is attracting more than just attention. 136 00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:52,892 Ooh! How about small change, forks, spoons... Ooh! How about small change, forks, spoons... 137 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,496 Oh, my gosh. ...nail clippers, even an electric razor. Oh, my gosh. ...nail clippers, even an electric razor. 138 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:57,930 And the list goes on. 139 00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:01,000 The boy's chest and back have a rare magnetic draw. 140 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,001 [ Speaking native language ] 141 00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,670 At school, the boy says, 142 00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,239 his classmates call him Magnet Boy, 143 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:09,042 a nickname that so far has, well, stuck. 144 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,209 The good news is if you're at the beach 145 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:11,377 and you lose your ring, you just make him 146 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:14,313 roll around in the sand for a little bit. 147 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,249 Hibba, you are thinking about this from the point of view 148 00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:18,151 of you are the magnet. Yeah. 149 00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:20,319 Right. So, what are you thinking? Alright. Right. So, what are you thinking? Alright. 150 00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:22,755 Well, I'm thinking that there is no physical pain 151 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,023 to being magnetic. Great. to being magnetic. Great. 152 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,459 Yes. Paper cut heals. 153 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,327 Last in dodgeball, you get another chance. 154 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,229 You know, it's not emotional, not physical, 155 00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:32,899 maybe a little bit of, you know, embarrassment. Embarrassment. maybe a little bit of, you know, embarrassment. Embarrassment. 156 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:35,168 So I think it's -- it's higher than 67. 157 00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:36,569 -Hmm, interesting. -No? 158 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:37,904 My instinct was in between, 159 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:39,439 but I'm happy to make a case for you if you think it's above. 160 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,240 It's gonna be close to the cornea. 161 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,775 I think it's gonna be up, but I still think it's gonna be in the middle. 162 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,243 I think it's gonna be lower than the 60s. 163 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:47,914 Okay, so for $500, does you are a magnet land above, below, 164 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,516 or in between the other two cards on the index? 165 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,051 Okay, let's go for above. 166 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,087 You're going against your teammates. 167 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:56,656 Let's see how that works out for you. 168 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:59,025 Let's see what our shrinks say. 169 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,460 It's a lifelong thing. Joe: Come on, 68. It's a lifelong thing. Joe: Come on, 68. 170 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,128 It is. It is. It's lifelong. It's a lifelong thing. 171 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,197 Come on, go up, go up, go up, go up. You're dealing with it forever. Come on, go up, go up, go up, go up. You're dealing with it forever. 172 00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:05,498 -You're dealing with it forever. -Please, please. 173 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,799 Don't go below 28. The paper cut heals. 174 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:07,934 Oh, my God. No, no, no. 175 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,368 The paper cut heals. Go up. 176 00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:11,170 Right, right, right, right. 177 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,672 Right! Right! 178 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,040 [ Buzzer ] Man! 179 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,408 -Okay. -Alright. 180 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,678 I'm afraid you are incorrect and you did not bank $500. 181 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,847 But it's okay. It's not over. It's alright, we're like the underdog. But it's okay. It's not over. It's alright, we're like the underdog. 182 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,382 Coming up, the money doubles, and so does the misery. 183 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,918 And later, one of these contestants 184 00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:29,689 will get a shot at $30,000. 185 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,658 [ Cheers and applause ] 186 00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,632 Welcome back to "The Misery Index." 187 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,535 James has $500, and Hibba has nothing. 188 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,004 But there's lots more humiliation to explore 189 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,974 before one of them plays for $30,000. 190 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,343 -Yes. Go. -Whoo! 191 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,478 Hibba, you are trailing behind. 192 00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:53,746 You're up first. 193 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,581 Are you gonna listen to your teammates this time? 194 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,283 -I will. -Okay. 195 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,119 I'm going to show you two deeply traumatic events, 196 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,821 and you will have to tell me which is worse, 197 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:03,356 according to our shrinks. 198 00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:06,793 For $1,000, tell me which one of these lousy lifts 199 00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,661 lands higher on the Misery Index. 200 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,396 Is it this? 201 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,668 Q: Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. 202 00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:19,238 She says, "When I ran at Andy, he tried to lift me, 203 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,407 but we just collided." 204 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:23,810 I mean, they certainly didn't have the time of their lives. 205 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,412 No, for sure not. 206 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,414 Or is this more miserable? 207 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,727 Oh, which is worse between these two? 208 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,930 I think your ambulance picks up hitchhikers 209 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,332 is more miserable because already you are 210 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,234 in physical pain if you're in ambulance. 211 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,903 And then there's emotional trauma in the moment 212 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,638 because you don't know what's gonna happen to you 213 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:54,440 because, are you getting to the hospital, 214 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:55,808 or you're just gonna die here? 215 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,176 The ambulance has one job. 216 00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,978 Yeah, get me to the hospital. 217 00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,947 You're not a taxi. 218 00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,315 Okay, so you are saying 219 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,650 that your ambulance picking up hitchhikers is worse. 220 00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:07,220 Let's first see where our shrinks put the other choice. 221 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:08,521 Good luck. 222 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,189 58. 223 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:13,559 And now let's see if you are right. 224 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,061 Alright. Come on. Come on. 225 00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:16,762 Come on, ambulance. 226 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,431 Move right. 227 00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:20,533 [ Cheers and applause ] 228 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,269 Jameela: That is correct. You just won $1,000. 229 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,137 And we have a game. 230 00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:26,572 Alright, James, you're up. 231 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:29,542 For $1,000, please tell me which one of these body bangers 232 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,277 ranks higher on the Misery Index. 233 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,913 Is it this? 234 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,183 Oh, no. 235 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,052 Q: Body bangers a bad thing. 236 00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:42,421 Oh. God. 237 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,423 That's how Murray comes out of a bathroom stall. 238 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,860 [ Chanting "Beast mode!" ] 239 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:51,831 Please, I do not require your applause. 240 00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,233 Jameela, we are ready to see the next clip. 241 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,637 I'm not really your secretary, Beast Mode Murray, so... 242 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,273 -So noted. -James, are you ready to see? 243 00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:02,608 Are you ready? Then I am ready. 244 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:03,709 Jameela: Oh, my God. 245 00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,745 James, take a look at this. 246 00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,280 Is this more miserable? 247 00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:13,486 Q: Oh, I love it. I love it. 248 00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:14,954 Joe: Oh, wow. 249 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,155 Jameela: This is all alleged. 250 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,990 And please know the charges were dismissed. 251 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,959 Basically, he got the gun off of her 252 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,427 and then put it in the toilet. 253 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,462 Here's the factors you need to consider. 254 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:27,700 First, your girlfriend pulls a gun on you from her vagina. 255 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,002 It undercuts the entire relationship you've got with her. 256 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,939 You will never trust her or said vagina again. 257 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,574 Second, the gate has incredible physical pain 258 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:39,545 that trumps any possible shooting from said vagina. 259 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,781 Clearly, it's the gate. 260 00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,215 Wow. Okay. 261 00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:46,919 I hear what you're saying about -- But a gun is -- No. 262 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:50,323 You're never gonna look at a vagin-- No, no, no. 263 00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:51,357 Alright, but just -- No. Alright, but just -- No. 264 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,558 No. 265 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:55,061 -No. No. -No. 266 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,997 So, James, please tell me, which one is more miserable? 267 00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,598 You're destroyed by a gate 268 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:02,168 is more miserable than a vagina gun is pulled on you. 269 00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,669 -Wow. Alright. -Okay. 270 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:07,306 Let's first see where our shrinks put the vagina gun. 271 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:08,874 -Ooh! -55. 272 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,009 I think you got it. 273 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,711 Now let's see if your choice is correct. 274 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,813 Good luck, James. 275 00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,314 Please be right. 276 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,616 Please, please, please. I think you got it. 277 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,552 Yes! 278 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:23,255 [ Chanting "Beast mode!" ] 279 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:24,256 Jameela: That is correct. 280 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,726 And you just won yourself $1,000. 281 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,627 Congratulations. 282 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,563 Don't go anywhere, because when we come back, 283 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:31,797 someone is headed home 284 00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:35,601 and someone is moving on for their shot at $30,000. 285 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,903 [ Cheers and applause ] 286 00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:49,882 Hello, and welcome back to "The Misery Index." 287 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,418 It all comes down to this one miserable event 288 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,920 to determine who is the true master of misery 289 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:58,190 moving on to play for their shot at the grand prize. 290 00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,593 So James has $1,500, 291 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:03,996 and Hibba is right on his heels with $1,000. 292 00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,799 Tonight, we are going to put your ears to the test. 293 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,267 You're going to have to rate this misery 294 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,136 based solely on what you can hear. 295 00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:11,737 And that means no video. 296 00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:14,373 However, our shrinks got to see the whole video, 297 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,776 but you won't until after you lock in your score, 298 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,411 because I'm the mistress of misery 299 00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:20,846 and I'm a bit of a bitch, so... 300 00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:24,583 Whoever is closest to our shrinks' score wins the round. 301 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:27,853 Let's play the Sound of Misery. 302 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,121 -Yeah! -Let's have a listen. 303 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,689 -I'm excited. -Alright. 304 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,158 [ Man gags ] 305 00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,160 [ Coughs ] 306 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,961 Ohh. 307 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,596 [ Gags ] 308 00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:39,031 Oh. 309 00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,533 [ Gags ] 310 00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:42,068 Ohh. 311 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,803 [ Gags ] 312 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,137 -Oh. -He's throwing up. 313 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,340 [Bleep] Dirty girl. Ohh. 314 00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:49,442 Something's coming out of him. 315 00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:51,143 [ Groans ] 316 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,179 [ Gags ] 317 00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:56,048 Ah. Ohh. 318 00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:59,318 I'm pretty sure that was James meeting President Clinton. 319 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,121 [ Laughter ] 320 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,857 Okay, so now for $2,000, please talk it through 321 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,059 and lock in where you think this awful audio 322 00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:09,161 lands on the Misery Index. 323 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,930 The worst-case scenario, he's throwing up. 324 00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:12,832 Yes. So there is slight physical pain. 325 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,433 Really horrible to be throwing up. 326 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,135 -Dirty girl. -It's going to end... 327 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:17,670 -He's not dying. -He's not dying. 328 00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:18,938 He's fixing the problem, but it's still... 329 00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:21,674 Okay, Hibba, James, lock in your scores. 330 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:22,908 Okay, okay. 331 00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:24,577 Hibba's locked in. We're locked, we're locked. 332 00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,378 James is locked in. Okay. 333 00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:29,482 So, James, what do you think this video is gonna be? 334 00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:32,384 Something's coming out of somebody. 335 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,453 Something's always coming out of somebody. 336 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,055 Like, he's pulling something out. 337 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,256 Like, when I hear, "Ooh, dirty," 338 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,458 I hear, like, something like, "Oh, dirty girl." 339 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,694 Like, he's like, "Oh, there's another one." 340 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,129 Okay, Hibba, what's your take? 341 00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,064 Well, I think it's definitely he's puking. 342 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:46,732 He has those funny comments to make. 343 00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:49,568 So I guess he's okay. He's not dying. Yeah. 344 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:51,203 I think that's very insightful. 345 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,706 So before we reveal our scores, let's take a look at the video 346 00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:57,376 behind this miserable audio clip. 347 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,011 Oh, it's just a diaper change. 348 00:12:59,078 --> 00:12:59,979 [ Gags ] 349 00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:03,182 Oh, I did not think of this. 350 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:06,552 -Dirty girl. -Literally a dirty girl. 351 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,654 Literally. 352 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:09,922 [ Coughs ] 353 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:11,524 -Come on. -Dry heaving. 354 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,159 [ Coughs ] 355 00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:15,661 -Don't throw up on the baby. -Don't do that. 356 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,630 -Dirty girl. -Oh, my God. 357 00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:19,999 That's it? That's the dirty girl? 358 00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,170 Why video yourself? 359 00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:25,437 [ Coughs ] 360 00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:26,705 What? 361 00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:29,008 Somewhat of an overreaction. 362 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,776 Oh, wow. Alright. 363 00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,846 So, wow. None of us thought it was that. 364 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,114 So now that we've seen the video, 365 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,916 let's see who has mastered the misery 366 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,218 by being closest to the correct answer. 367 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:42,588 James, you ranked this sound of misery at a... 368 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,490 Hibba: Please go back. Go back, go back, go back. 369 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,025 Jameela: ...50. 370 00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:50,829 And, Hibba, you put it at a... 371 00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,132 42. 372 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,601 Okay, well, let's see what our shrinks say. 373 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,002 This is it. 374 00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,772 We're gonna find out who is going on to finish the game 375 00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:02,441 for the $30,000 prize. 376 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,511 [ Indistinct talking ] 377 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,581 [ Audience shouting ] 378 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:12,051 45. You know it's under a 42, yes. Please. 379 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,319 Yes! 380 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,187 Oh, my goodness. 381 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:16,255 It's all good. 382 00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:17,256 Hibba wins! 383 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,158 Unfortunately, that means 384 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,293 that we're gonna have to say goodbye to James, 385 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,295 but Hibba is moving on and will be playing 386 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,632 for the $30,000 grand prize right after this. 387 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,201 Don't go anywhere. 388 00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:31,570 [ Cheers and applause ] 389 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,777 [ Cheers and applause ] 390 00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:41,347 Welcome back to "The Misery Index." 391 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,282 Hibba has chosen Sal to assist her 392 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:46,919 in the grand prize final round. 393 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:51,156 This is the $30,000 Margin of Misery. 394 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:54,727 [ Cheers and applause ] 395 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:56,996 Hibba, what are you gonna do with money if you win? 396 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,163 I'm gonna get a new car, 397 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,432 maybe something badass like a Jeep or something 398 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:01,934 with, like, open roof. 399 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,302 Q: Now you're talking my language. 400 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,938 Yeah, badass Jeep! 401 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:09,275 Jameela: Okay, so I'm gonna show you three terrible events 402 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,176 worth $5,000, $10,000, and $15,000. 403 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,412 And after each one, you're gonna place a range finder 404 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,215 where you think it lands on the Misery Index. 405 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,685 But as the money grows, the range finder gets smaller. 406 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:20,953 Are you ready to play? 407 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,121 -Yes. -Yes, she is. 408 00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:23,656 -Yes! Yes! -We are ready to go, Jameela. 409 00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:24,923 Sal: Give it up for Hibba, everybody! 410 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,626 Let's get miserable. 411 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:28,627 [ Cheers and applause ] 412 00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:31,096 Let's get miserable. Here we go. 413 00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,132 Hibba, your first event is worth $5,000. 414 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:35,200 There's a range of 30 points this time. 415 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,502 Take a look. 416 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,039 "Driven mad by incessant beeping, 417 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,941 couple tears down walls to discover smoke alarm 418 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,544 was in the dresser all along." 419 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,247 And the response was, 420 00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:50,749 "At least the noise had stopped at long last." 421 00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:52,451 Okay, Hibba, here is what's 422 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,919 throwing me off a little bit, right? 423 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,121 They dealt with the noise for a year. 424 00:15:56,188 --> 00:16:00,926 So that frustration mounting I think has to be accounted for. 425 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,661 Ultimately, you put up some Sheetrock, 426 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:05,664 you patch it up again, so I don't think it's crazy bad. 427 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,833 But I do think we have to take into consideration 428 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,370 the fact that they had beeping going on for a year 429 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:12,771 and didn't know where it was coming from, right? 430 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:16,575 There's monetary pain if you're redoing a house for no reason. 431 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,310 The beeping is annoying. 432 00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:20,045 And if you're old, things annoy you way more than -- 433 00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,714 If you do want to clip any of the 20s, 434 00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:23,215 I'd go very high 20s. 435 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,317 That's what I would say. Okay, well, within a range of 30, 436 00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:28,287 where does you tear your house apart for no reason land 437 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:29,688 on the Misery Index? 438 00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:32,157 -Your time starts now. -30 to 60. 439 00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,992 Joe: Come on. Come on. 440 00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:35,828 -Whoa, back it up. -You like that? 441 00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:37,930 -Back it up. -Like that? I like that. 442 00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:42,434 Jameela: 4, 3, 2, 1. Lock it in. 443 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,269 Okay, alright. Okay. 444 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,439 28 to 58 is where you are locked in. 445 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,508 For $5,000, let's see where it lands. 446 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:50,776 This is it. 447 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,077 Hopefully we're gonna get to the 50s. 448 00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,278 Hopefully we're gonna get into the 50s. 449 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,214 Oh, my God. Why is it starting to -- 450 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,383 Go right there. Right there, right there, right there. 451 00:16:57,449 --> 00:17:00,586 Please, please, please. Oh, my God, no. No. No. 452 00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,020 [ Buzzer ] Ohh! 453 00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:06,225 Oh, dear, you did not bank $5,000. 454 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:08,494 But that's okay because there's way more money 455 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,028 to win now, right? 456 00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,096 Okay. 457 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,232 This next event is worth $10,000, 458 00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:16,068 and you will have a range of 20 points this time. 459 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,370 Take a look. 460 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,406 Oh, my God, it's already terrible. 461 00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:23,242 [ Woman laughing ] 462 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:26,779 Oh! And someone's laughing. 463 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,851 Oh, it's gonna get him here. 464 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,553 Oh! 465 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,656 Oh, ow. 466 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,558 Oh. Oh. 467 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,130 [ Laughs ] 468 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,232 At the end of the day, it's a game of Duck, Duck, Goose, 469 00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:48,567 basically, really. 470 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,602 It's not too bad, right? He survived and he was giggling. It's not too bad, right? He survived and he was giggling. 471 00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,571 Maybe some, like, minor pain. 472 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:53,906 There's a little bit of physical pain 473 00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:56,008 because you are being poked by her beak. 474 00:17:56,074 --> 00:17:58,811 I don't think there's any emotional trauma. 475 00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,145 Just slightly. Yeah. 476 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:01,814 And he's giggling also. Yeah. 477 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,248 Okay, within a range of 20, 478 00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:06,518 where does you are attacked by a swan land on the index? 479 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,387 Your 10 seconds starts now. 480 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,522 -Okay. -Maybe like 24 to 44. 481 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,191 Okay. 482 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,460 25, 24, yeah, something like that. 483 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:15,527 5, 4... 484 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,929 -Something like that. -That's good. 485 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,730 Yeah, we like it. Everyone likes it. ...3, 2, 1. Yeah, we like it. Everyone likes it. ...3, 2, 1. 486 00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,065 Be confident. Let's be confident. 487 00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,166 We got it. We got it. 488 00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,568 -Look at me. We got it. -It's a swan. 489 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:25,471 Okay, Hibba, you are locked in between 23 and 43. 490 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,239 This is for $10,000. 491 00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,508 Where did our shrinks rate it on the Misery Index? 492 00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:32,244 -Let's find out. -Oh, she's got it, she's got it. 493 00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:33,712 -Come on, come on. -I think you have it. 494 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,014 Oh, God. Please, please, please, please. I think you have it. Oh, God. Please, please, please, please. I think you have it. 495 00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:37,916 -Please, please. -Slow down! 496 00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:39,751 Yes! 497 00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:41,954 Now we got $10,000 now. 498 00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:44,723 You just banked yourself $10,000. 499 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,892 [ Cheers and applause ] 500 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,994 Alright, we're on a good roll now. 501 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,996 So here we go. This is our final misery. 502 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,297 It's worth $15,000. 503 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,699 And you're gonna have to get it within a range 504 00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:56,835 of only 10 points this time, so good luck. 505 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,504 Take a look at this. 506 00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:05,377 Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh! Wow! Holy [bleep] 507 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,913 -Whoa. What happened? -What am I looking at? 508 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,984 Jameela: That's an iron rod stuck in his head. 509 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,252 Oh, my God. 510 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,021 And he is still somehow conscious. 511 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,856 Wow. 512 00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,091 Wow! 513 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:22,494 This is -- This is a gift from the heavens for us. 514 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:25,464 And I feel pretty confident thinking that it's in the 90s. 515 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,766 Pretty high. Yeah. Yeah. 516 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,735 If that's not, what is? 517 00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:32,137 If that's not, what is? 518 00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,705 Yeah. 519 00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,674 Okay, within a range of 10, 520 00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:38,477 where does you have an iron rod stuck in your head land 521 00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:39,511 on the Misery Index? 522 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:41,980 Your 10 seconds starts now. 523 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:44,583 89 to 99, I think. 524 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,552 Just get that number 89 in there just in case. 525 00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:50,122 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 'Cause 100's probably like you die. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 'Cause 100's probably like you die. 526 00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,558 Higher, higher. I like it. 527 00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,961 I like it, I like it. I like it, I like it. 528 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,364 You are locked in between 89 and 99. 529 00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:01,800 This is for $15,000. 530 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,504 This is Hibba's last go. 531 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:06,605 -Go. -Oh, my God. 532 00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:07,940 Oh, my God. 533 00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:11,243 [ Indistinct talking ] 534 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,878 It's not a 30. It's not a 40. 535 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,479 Get higher. Keep going. 536 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,249 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 537 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:20,218 [ Screaming ] 538 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,589 -Yes! -Yes! 539 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:24,756 Yes. 540 00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:26,992 Oh, my goodness. 541 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,561 That is correct. Congratulations. 542 00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:33,532 That means that you are going home with $28,000. 543 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:36,034 [ Cheers and applause ] 544 00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:38,170 And that'll do it for "The Misery Index." 545 00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:40,072 I am Jameela Jamil. This is Hibba. 546 00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,441 And for me and the Tenderloins, good night. 547 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:43,909 Yes. Alright. 548 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:44,910 [ Cheers and applause ] 549 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,012 Murr: Who won? Guys? Who won? 550 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,146 I blacked out. 551 00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:49,982 She won, buddy. She won, she won. 552 00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:51,283 I blacked out. Did she win? 553 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:52,751 -She won. She won. -She won? 554 00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,386 I blacked out. Did she win? 555 00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,754 -She won. -She won. 556 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,489 -She won. -I blacked out. 557 00:20:57,556 --> 00:20:59,491 Did she win? 558 00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:01,760 I blacked out. Does anyone know if she won?