1 00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:06,239 Welcome to "The Misery Index," where misery loves company. 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:07,741 -Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! 3 00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:09,442 Jameela: We have scoured the globe 4 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,778 for the world's most miserable true stories, 5 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,813 then asked a panel of respected psychologists 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,616 to rate those stories based on three pillars of misery -- 7 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,451 physical pain, emotional trauma, 8 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,520 and long-term psychological impact. 9 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,789 The higher the combined misery, 10 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,557 the higher it lands on our misery index. 11 00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:25,925 Oh! Oh, my God! 12 00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:27,894 Our two contestants must try and decide 13 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,930 how those events were rated for a chance at our grand prize 14 00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:33,099 of $30,000. 15 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,034 You're about to win some money! 16 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,736 So, let's get miserable. 17 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:39,072 [ Cheers and applause ] 18 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:43,376 ♪♪ 19 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,278 Hello. I am Jameela Jamil, 20 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:47,180 and welcome to "The Misery Index." 21 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:50,316 Tonight, we have two very miserable contestants -- 22 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,818 Anthony Gambrell, 23 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,821 whose date once dined and ditched him, 24 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,923 and Mary Lynn Cristiano, 25 00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,860 who once saw a dead body sit up in front of her. 26 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,329 And now, from truTV's hit "Impractical Jokers," 27 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,031 give it up to my friends, the Tenderloins -- 28 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:06,866 Sal, Joe, Q, and Murr. 29 00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:08,902 Yeah! What's up?! 30 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,504 [ Cheers and applause ] Murr: Here we go! 31 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:14,307 Come on, buddy. What's going on? You excited? 32 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:16,142 Hi. This is me bringing it. Hi. This is me bringing it. 33 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,944 Nice to meet you. Good to see you. Good luck. 34 00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:18,878 Hello, Jameela. 35 00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:20,914 Anthony, what happened, man? 36 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:23,516 Me and this young lady have been talking for a few weeks 37 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,684 already, right? Mm-hmm. already, right? Mm-hmm. 38 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,885 So we finally got together, 39 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:27,487 and we're able to go on our first date. 40 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,689 We go to the steakhouse. We're wining, dining. 41 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,558 We having great conversation. Okay. 42 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,761 And so she decides she needs to go to use the restroom. 43 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,231 She goes, and she doesn't come back for 15 minutes. 44 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:41,067 So I asked the server to please go and check on her. Mm-hmm. So I asked the server to please go and check on her. Mm-hmm. 45 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,535 Server comes back to me and says, 46 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,437 "Oh, there's no one in the restroom." 47 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:45,738 [ Audience groans ] Sal: Aw, no way. 48 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,373 Be optimistic. She's probably dead. 49 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,709 [ Laughter ] 50 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,779 Mary Lynn, a dead body sat up in front of you? 51 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,281 Yeah, on my first day as a funeral director, 52 00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:59,319 I came back from lunch, and, literally, straight up. 53 00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:01,054 Horrifying. Q: You saw it moving, or it was up? Horrifying. Q: You saw it moving, or it was up? 54 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,655 Oh, no, it moved in front of me. 55 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:04,757 Did you have to "ck-ck"? 56 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:07,026 Yeah. Well, you know, sometimes it passes by itself. 57 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,195 Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, you know, 58 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,531 they also pee and poop and breathe. 59 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,233 They do everything that we do. Sal: Wow. They do everything that we do. Sal: Wow. 60 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,667 Dead people -- they're just like us. 61 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,003 Yeah, they're just like us. Just like us. Yeah, they're just like us. Just like us. 62 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,072 Okay, guys, please behold 63 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,607 the keeper of all things miserable. 64 00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:22,442 It is the Traumatron. 65 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:25,478 [ Thunder crashes ] Murr: Don't be scared. [ Thunder crashes ] Murr: Don't be scared. 66 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,714 The name of our first game is Misery Lane. 67 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,949 I'm going to put two misery markers on the index 68 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,818 and the first one is... 69 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,657 [ All groan ] You mean standard. [ All groan ] You mean standard. 70 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:38,925 [ Laughter ] 71 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,862 ...which our shrinks rated at a 67. 72 00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:45,064 -Yeah, that's pretty bad. -For sure. That's about right. 73 00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:46,866 And the second one is... 74 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,806 ...which our shrinks only rated at a 33. 75 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,074 -Okay. -Wow. 76 00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:56,576 Okay, so I'm going to show each of you an event. 77 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:57,911 You don't have to tell me the exact number. 78 00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,946 You just have to determine if it falls above, below, 79 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,715 or in between the two cards that you see on the index. 80 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:04,584 Anthony, you get to go first. 81 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:07,186 Please check out this misery. 82 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,422 [ Woman screams ] 83 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,057 -Oh, no. -Whoa, they're coming in hot. 84 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:14,761 Jameela: This is a ski lift gone rogue, gone very, very wrong. 85 00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:17,597 -Wow. -Oh, wow. 86 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:18,932 Murr: They're going to flip off. Yep. 87 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,968 Ooh! Ooh. 88 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:26,306 Joe: Wow. 89 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,473 I'm pretty sure that's not how 90 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,042 those things are supposed to work. No. 91 00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:30,910 [ Laughter ] 92 00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,645 That's -- That's bad, that's -- for sure. 93 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,180 Yeah, for sure. It's physically painful. 94 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:35,748 It's terrifying, You can be scared 95 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:38,151 of going skiing ever again. -You also see the people 96 00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:39,385 in front of you, it happening... -Right? 97 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:40,587 ...and you know it's about to happen to you. 98 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,088 So that, emotionally, the trauma, 99 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,256 that's definitely tough. 100 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:44,624 Yeah, you don't know if you're going to live or die 101 00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,059 in that moment. 102 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,560 I strongly feel good about it. 103 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:51,130 And I think that is definitely above on the Misery Index. 104 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,967 Jameela: Okay, you are saying it is above. 105 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,069 It's time to see what our shrinks say. 106 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:57,704 Good luck. -I think it's just above. 107 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:01,641 I think it's just above it. -Come on, come on, come on. 108 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,142 Come on. Keep going. Keep going. 109 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,510 -Aw, go, go. -Keep going! Keep going! 110 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,279 Yeah! -Yes! 111 00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,014 Yes! Yes! 112 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,950 You are correct. You've just banked $500. 113 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,986 -Yes! -Alright. 114 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:17,223 Mary Lynn, you and your team, please check out this misery. 115 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:21,561 [ Pounding ] [ Chuckles ] It's already funny. [ Pounding ] [ Chuckles ] It's already funny. 116 00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,596 [ Laughter ] 117 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,268 Man: All over my [bleep] fishing gear, mate. 118 00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:31,938 [Bleep] [Bleep] 119 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,272 Mate, that's [bleep] 120 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,041 Man #2: I don't give a shit about your [bleep] 121 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,845 [Bleep] lied to me. 122 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:42,015 [ Laughter ] 123 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,917 He-- He's defeated. He's just defeated. 124 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,986 [Bleep] hate my life. 125 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,122 -Aw. -That is so funny. 126 00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:50,623 That is so funny. -[ Laughs ] 127 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,492 I'd rather be changing my passwords. 128 00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:54,394 You know what I'm saying? -Yeah. 129 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,895 How many passwords does the average person have? 130 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,363 -Oh, I don't e-- -A couple dozen? 131 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:58,665 -Yeah. -See, you know, you kind of -- 132 00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,633 Did you say you have a couple dozen passwords? 133 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:01,701 -Yeah. -Yeah. 134 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,936 Pornhub, VIEW-hub... [ Laughter ] 135 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:05,204 Oh, yeah. [ Chuckles ] 136 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,606 You set up a Pornhub account? 137 00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:07,840 You have a Premium account. 138 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:11,511 No. [ Laughter ] No. [ Laughter ] 139 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,913 I guess, what would you rather have happen to you, 140 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,381 paint explode or change passwords? 141 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,849 Oh, change passwords, absolutely. 142 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,818 -Well, then, there you go. -Absolutely, yeah. 143 00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:22,422 So I think paint spilling all over you is in between. 144 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,323 Alright. 145 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,658 Jameela: You're saying it's in between. 146 00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,627 Okay, let's see what our shrink say. 147 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:28,728 Good luck. 148 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,731 Alright. 149 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,132 Come on. 150 00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:34,767 I think you're right. 151 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,870 Ooh. Oh! 152 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:40,540 Okay, you are correct, so at the end of Round 1, 153 00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:43,710 Anthony has $500, and Mary Lynn also has $500. 154 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:45,044 And I'm happy to tell you 155 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,345 that we are going to commercial 156 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:49,515 because [bleep] 157 00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:51,250 I may have hacked your TelePrompTer. 158 00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,953 [ Laughter ] Say -- Read the lines. Read the wor-- [ Laughter ] Say -- Read the lines. Read the wor-- 159 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:57,023 I'm glad that we're going to commercial because I... 160 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,192 have to go potty like a big girl. 161 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,360 [ Laughter ] Joe. [ Laughter ] Joe. 162 00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:04,163 Coming up, the money doubles and so does the misery. 163 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,898 And, later, one of these contests 164 00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:08,501 we'll get a shot at $30,000. 165 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,136 [ Laughter ] Yeah! 166 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,138 [ Cheers and applause ] 167 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,177 [ Cheers and applause ] 168 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,581 Oh, hello, 169 00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,249 and welcome back to "The Misery Index." 170 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,252 [ As Priyanka Chopra ] I am the world-famous Priyanka Chopra, 171 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,187 and we've got one hell of a game. 172 00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,757 Joe. Alright, I'm done. I'm done. 173 00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,692 [ Normal voice ] Anthony has $500, 174 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,961 and Mary Lynn also has $500, 175 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:37,396 but there's lots more humiliation to explore 176 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:40,700 before one of them plays for $30,000. 177 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,703 [ Cheers and applause ] 178 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,506 The name of our next game is More or Less Miserable. 179 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,075 So, Mary Lynn, this time you are up first. 180 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,277 I'm going to show you two deeply traumatic events, 181 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,645 and you just have to tell me which is worse 182 00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:54,180 according to our shrinks. 183 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,917 So for $1,000, tell me which one of these animal agonies 184 00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,619 lands higher on the Misery Index. 185 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,954 Is it this? 186 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,924 "Dolphin dives onto boat, breaks woman's ankles, 187 00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:06,659 punches another in the face." 188 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:07,994 And it says down below, 189 00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,962 Mr. Frickman splashed water on it to keep it alive. 190 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,398 The animal was seemingly unharmed and swam away 191 00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:14,934 despite the superficial cuts onto its body. 192 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,770 Where are these misogynous dolphins? 193 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,039 What body of water? 194 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,175 Yeah, I-I don't know where Mr. Frickman's from... 195 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:23,876 -Yeah. -...but on Staten Island, 196 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,244 when a guy breaks your girl's ankle 197 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:26,445 and slaps another one in the face, 198 00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:27,947 you don't help out with some water. 199 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,149 You punch that dolphin right in the face. 200 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,051 You teach it a lesson. 201 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,921 Our we clapping animal cruelty? Just checking. 202 00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:37,023 -Well, it's an asshole animal. -Yeah. 203 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,859 Or is this more miserable, Mary Lynn? 204 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,895 My name is Margaret, and I'm 53 years old. 205 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,697 I live in Morning View, Kentucky, 206 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:47,533 and I'm addicted to stinging myself with bees. 207 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,435 Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no. 208 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:50,770 -Oh, my God. -Oh, my God. 209 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,406 I sting myself in my hip, my elbow, 210 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,675 on a finger, my ankle, my forehead, 211 00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:58,311 on the tip of my nose. 212 00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:02,515 The most I've ever given myself was between 15 and 20 213 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,517 in my left hip. -Oh, my God. 214 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,353 I really love stinging myself with bees. 215 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,788 Where do you find these? Where do we find these people? 216 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,389 -What the hell? -Oh. 217 00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:12,525 Jameela: So, originally, she started singing herself 218 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,327 to relieve arthritis pain. 219 00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:17,129 Just take a Tylenol. [ Laughter ] Just take a Tylenol. [ Laughter ] 220 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:20,600 And she does it now in part for sexual pleasure. 221 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,868 [ Audience groans ] 222 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,703 Sal: This is a tough one because "addicted" means 223 00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,238 that this is ongoing for you, 224 00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,073 but it also means that you want it. Q: You enjoy it. but it also means that you want it. Q: You enjoy it. 225 00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:29,976 I'm loving it, whereas I don't think I would love -- 226 00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:31,244 She's living her best life. 227 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:35,581 Yeah, I don't think I would love a 250-pound dolphin 228 00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,983 beating the [bleep] out of me. -Right. 229 00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:39,085 Okay, so, Mary Lynn, for $1,000, 230 00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:40,686 which is more miserable? 231 00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:43,556 Mary Lynn: I think getting the crap beat out of you by a dolphin. 232 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,124 is more miserable. -I agree. 233 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,226 Think we're on our way to $1,000 right here. 234 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,495 Let's see where our strength put the other choice. 235 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,164 -Okay, that's pretty high. -Wow, that's pretty high. 236 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:53,466 -I still think we got it. -That's very high. 237 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,434 -Let's see if you are right. -I still think we got it. 238 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:57,103 -[ Chuckles ] -Yeah. 239 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:58,838 I think we still got it. I'm not even worried about this. 240 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,806 -Well -- Well, I should be. -What?! 241 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,708 Two broken ankles! -[ Chuckles ] 242 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:04,176 Jameela: I'm afraid that is incorrect. 243 00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:07,713 You did not win $1,000, but the game is far from over. 244 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:10,516 Okay, Anthony, for $1,000, 245 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,885 tell me which one of these hangover hells 246 00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,353 ranks higher on the Misery Index. 247 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,322 Is it this? 248 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,557 "Man wakes up with the worst hangover ever, 249 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,460 finding Ray-Ban glasses tattooed on his face." 250 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:22,595 -Oh. -[ Laughs ] 251 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,031 He had these tattoos for about two years, 252 00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:29,335 and it took six tattoo removals to get them off. 253 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,836 Okay, well, Anthony, take a look at this 254 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,272 and see if this is more miserable. 255 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:38,077 "Drunk man vomit so hard that he throws up undiagnosed humor 256 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,313 and then swallows it back." -Oh! 257 00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:41,981 -Oh, my God. -Oh, my God. 258 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,816 A loose tumor. Just hanging around. 259 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,351 -Just rolling around. -Rolling around in there. 260 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,419 Yeah. -Yeah. 261 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,254 I mean, that would explain a lot for me. 262 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,623 [ Laughter and applause ] 263 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,091 Should get this checked. 264 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,759 My -- My -- My gut instinct 265 00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:56,329 was the barfing up a tumor and I'll tell you why. 266 00:09:56,395 --> 00:10:00,066 Because you're talking about a lifelong thing of any time 267 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,400 you feel weird or something, 268 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,102 you think -- you think there might be a tumor in you 269 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:04,503 that you didn't know about or whatever. 270 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,039 So the long-term psychological for me is higher on that. 271 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,342 For me, I think it's the barfing up a tumor -- for me. 272 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,110 The other guy with the tattoo sunglasses, 273 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:14,413 right, he's every conversation 24 hours a day. True. 274 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,415 It has to -- you have to deal with that, right? True. It has to -- you have to deal with that, right? True. 275 00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,985 His job, his relationships, his family. 276 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:21,053 So there's a long-term effect to that. 277 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,788 Okay, Anthony, where's your instinct? 278 00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:26,292 I think that you waking up with tattooed sunglasses 279 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,827 is more miserable. 280 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:31,664 Okay, let's first see where our shrinks put the other choice. 281 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,366 Good luck. 282 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,835 -He's going to be -- whoa. -74. 74's high... 283 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:36,969 -Oh, God. -...but it's not unbeatable. 284 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:41,107 So now let's see if Anthony was correct. 285 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,443 -I think he's got it. -Come on. 286 00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:46,879 [ Ding! ] [ Cheers and applause ] 287 00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:47,880 -Yes! -Yes! 288 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:50,850 That is correct, and you just won $1,000. 289 00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:52,685 Well done. -Alright. 290 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,353 Do not go anywhere, because, when we come back, 291 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,622 someone is headed home, and someone is moving on 292 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:59,225 for their shot at $30,000. 293 00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,360 [ Cheers and applause ] 294 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,701 [ Cheers and applause ] 295 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,736 Welcome back to "The Misery Index." 296 00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,939 So it all comes down to this one miserable event 297 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:17,476 to determine who is the true Master of Misery 298 00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:20,246 and moving on to play for their shot at the grand prize. 299 00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:22,548 Currently, Anthony has $1,500, 300 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,851 and Mary Lynn is right on his heels with $500. 301 00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:27,286 And so, guys, tonight, 302 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,555 we're going to put your ears to the test. Sal: Ah. 303 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,657 So you are going to have to rate this misery 304 00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:33,659 based solely on what you can hear, 305 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,127 and that means no video... -Ooh. 306 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,796 Jameela: ...until after you've locked in your answers, 307 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,031 'cause I'm a dick. 308 00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:41,300 So whoever is closest to our shrinks' score 309 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,235 will win this round. [ Thunder crashes ] will win this round. [ Thunder crashes ] 310 00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:47,106 It's time to play the Sound of Misery. 311 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,441 -Ooh. -Ooh. 312 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,176 Alright, let's have a listen. 313 00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:51,677 [ Thunder crashes ] 314 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,546 [ Wind gusting ] 315 00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:55,414 [ Whispers indistinctly ] 316 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:58,451 [ Whirring ] 317 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,354 Man: Whoo! 318 00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,325 [ Screams ] 319 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:09,662 [ Laughter ] 320 00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:12,298 It sounds like he stepped in dog poop and found it on his shoe. 321 00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:13,332 That's what it sounds like. 322 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,102 He's like, "Ohhhh! These are new." 323 00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:17,470 You know, I heard a dog. 324 00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,105 Throwing them off. -Yeah. 325 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:20,506 -There's a dog, for sure. -Yeah, I -- 326 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,174 Did you guys hear R2-D2 at the end there? 327 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,342 It was really weird. -That's what it was. 328 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,277 It was R2 and Chewbacca. -Yeah. [ Laughs ] 329 00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:27,947 Okay, now, for $2,000, please talk it through 330 00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:31,617 and discuss why you think this lands on the Misery Index. 331 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,686 Let's concentrate on the guy, because the yell -- 332 00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:36,555 the yell is not too, like, "I'm going to die." 333 00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:38,691 Possibly, like, kite surfing. 334 00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,759 Okay, yeah. [ Indistinct whispering ] Okay, yeah. [ Indistinct whispering ] 335 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:42,761 Alright, everyone, I'm going need to lock in your scores. 336 00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:44,396 I don't know. I think it's a little higher. 337 00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:47,266 I love it. I really think it's good. Yeah. I love it. I really think it's good. Yeah. 338 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,436 Okay, everyone is locked in. Anthony, I am dying to know, 339 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,705 what do you think this clip is going to be? 340 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:55,541 I -- it sound-- I definitely hear wind sounds, 341 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,644 so it definitely sounds like he's either hang gliding 342 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,346 or jumping out of a plane. 343 00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:02,615 It doesn't sound like he -- the parachute didn't open 344 00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:04,283 'cause that would be a different scream. 345 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,718 Mary Lynn, what do you think this video is? 346 00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:07,486 We also thought something similar, 347 00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,488 and I also thought something similar to, like, you know, 348 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,090 jet skiing or something like that. 349 00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:14,026 It sounded like a minor inconvenience. 350 00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:15,828 Okay, before we reveal our scores, 351 00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:16,896 let's take a look at the video 352 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,131 behind this miserable audio clip. 353 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:22,768 [ Wind gusting ] 354 00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:25,004 -Oh, they were right. -Hit a tree, hit a tree. 355 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,273 [ Whirring ] I still don't know what that noise is. [ Whirring ] I still don't know what that noise is. 356 00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:28,674 -Oh, no. -Hit a tree, hit a tree. 357 00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,976 Man: Whoo! 358 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,611 -Oh! -[Bleep] 359 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,880 [ Screams ] 360 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,215 Oh. 361 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:37,783 -We're too low. -We're way too low. 362 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,218 So, still confident about your scores? 363 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,487 Not at all. We misjudged this one. Yep. 364 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,223 And also, who put that house there? 365 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:45,457 -Yeah. -Yeah. 366 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:46,525 Jameela: So now that we've seen the video, 367 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,427 let's see who has mastered the misery 368 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,696 by being closest to the correct answer. 369 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,299 Anthony, you ranked paragliding into a house 370 00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:57,269 at a very low 39, 371 00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:01,073 and, Mary Lynn, you gave it a... 372 00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:05,311 -Aw. -Ooh. 373 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:06,745 Jameela: ...a 42. 374 00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:09,215 Q: [ Laughs ] 375 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:11,750 It is time to see what our shrinks say. 376 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:13,052 -Can we not see... -Oh, my goodness. 377 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,053 ...and just live in this moment 378 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,255 of we're all winners? 379 00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:17,723 [ Indistinct talking ] 380 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,291 I think we're up in the high 60s. Yeah? I think we're up in the high 60s. Yeah? 381 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,826 There's no way you don't have this. 382 00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:22,161 It's impossible that you don't have this. 383 00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,262 Oh, my God! 384 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:24,797 Jameela: So Mary Lynn wins. 385 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:27,266 Unfortunately, that means we are going to have to 386 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,168 say goodbye to Anthony. -Sorry, buddy. 387 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,437 Jameela: But Mary Lynn is moving on and will be playing 388 00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:34,006 for the $30,000 grand prize right after this. 389 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,207 Do not go anywhere. 390 00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:37,409 [ Cheers and applause ] 391 00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:44,016 [ Cheers and applause ] 392 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,552 Hello, and welcome back to "The Misery Index." 393 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,088 So Mary Lynn has chosen Sal to assist her 394 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:50,956 in the grand-prize final round. 395 00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:55,227 This is the $30,000 Margin of Misery. 396 00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:56,962 [ Audience "oohs" ] [ Thunder crashes ] [ Audience "oohs" ] [ Thunder crashes ] 397 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,864 So now, Mary Lynn, if you win it all, 398 00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:00,199 what are you going to do with the money? 399 00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,667 I already have three dogs. 400 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:06,272 I would love to add a hairless cat to my little personal zoo. 401 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:09,508 And, of course, my hairless cat needs the most exclusive, 402 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:15,180 expensive Gucci boots, hand-knit cashmere sweaters. 403 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,982 I'm going to get them for all the dogs, 404 00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,385 and then we're going to hop on a plane and go to Europe. 405 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:22,087 [ Cheers and applause ] [ Laughs ] [ Cheers and applause ] [ Laughs ] 406 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,555 Now we know what's on the line, 407 00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:25,057 I'm going to show you three terrible events 408 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,393 worth $5,000, $10,000 and $15,000 dollars. 409 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,862 And after each one, you will place a range finder 410 00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:31,997 where you think it lands on the Misery Index. 411 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,499 And, remember, as the money gets bigger, 412 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:35,968 the range finder gets smaller. 413 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,203 Are you ready to play? -Yes, I am. 414 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:42,241 Okay, then let's get miserable. 415 00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,480 Mary Lynn, your first event is worth $5,000, 416 00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:50,516 and it has a range of 30 points this time. 417 00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:51,450 Take a look. 418 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:52,985 [ Singing indistinctly ] 419 00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:56,088 Just singing a hymn. Singing a hymn in his car. 420 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:58,891 ♪ And now my life ♪ 421 00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:02,127 Aah! Oh, no. Aah! Oh, no. 422 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,096 He's upside down. 423 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,298 What happened? 424 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,100 I wouldn't drive. I wouldn't get in a car 425 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,301 for a very long time. 426 00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:10,536 How long till you sing again? 427 00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,037 [ Laughter ] 428 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,073 I think -- my gut said 50 to 80. 429 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,741 I-I like that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah? 430 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,176 Where we were at. That's where we were at. 431 00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:18,243 Jameela: Okay, well, within a range of 30, 432 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,779 where does "Your Carpool Crashaoke" land 433 00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:22,481 on the Misery Index? 434 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,718 Your time starts now. You have 10 seconds. 435 00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:30,756 49, 79 just to take a little -- 436 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:31,623 little peak at the 49? 437 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:35,361 Five, four, three, two -- 438 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:38,831 you are locked in between a 49 and a 79. 439 00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:42,501 For $5,000, let's see where that lands. 440 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,536 [ Cheers and applause ] 441 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,841 Oh, I hate this bit. 442 00:16:48,907 --> 00:16:50,809 Come on, come on, come on. Keep going. 443 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,579 Come on, come on, come on. Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay. 444 00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:57,049 [ Ding! ] [ Chuckles ] [ Ding! ] [ Chuckles ] 445 00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:58,250 That is correct. 446 00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,686 You just baked yourself $5,000. 447 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,588 Whoo! 448 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,124 So this next event is worth $10,000 this time, 449 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,426 and you have a range of 20 points. 450 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:08,961 -Okay. -Take a look at this. 451 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:14,466 "Man stabs brother in fight over the last of the ribs." 452 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,502 You know, it is the McRib. It's only seasonal. 453 00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:19,037 Yeah, that is. It's only a limited time 454 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,973 you can get the McRib. -The McRib is seasonal. 455 00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,307 And you will never -- 456 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,243 the relationship you had with your brother is destroyed. 457 00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:26,512 Definitely. I think it's going be very high. 458 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:30,082 Yeah, I'm thinking mid-60s starting -- starting. Okay. Yeah, I'm thinking mid-60s starting -- starting. Okay. 459 00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,750 [ Imitating coughing ] Starting in mid-60s. 460 00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:32,684 'Cause I've played the game a little more, 461 00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,019 from my experience, I'm thinking 462 00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:35,320 it's going to be way higher than that. Okay. 463 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,656 How about 75, 95? 464 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,958 We'll save 96 to 100 for absolute catastrophes. Okay, I like that. I like that. 465 00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:41,660 Okay, well, within a range of 20, 466 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,729 where does "Your Brother Allegedly Stabs You 467 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,398 Over the Last Rib" land on the index? 468 00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,700 [ Chuckling ] Such a dumb story. [ Laughter ] [ Chuckling ] Such a dumb story. [ Laughter ] 469 00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:52,571 I think you're safe with 75, 95. Your 10 seconds starts now. I think you're safe with 75, 95. Your 10 seconds starts now. 470 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,606 [ Audience shouting ] 471 00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:58,110 73? 472 00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:00,712 Five, four, three -- okay. 473 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,147 -Okay, okay. -Wow, locked in. 474 00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:04,283 -Alright. -Mary Lynn, you are locked in 475 00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:06,318 between 75 and 95. 476 00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:07,920 We're all with you on this. Aren't we? 477 00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:09,521 Yeah. That's right. 478 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,623 Okay, so for $10,000, 479 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,126 where did our shrinks rate it on the Misery Index? 480 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:15,928 It's time to find out. 481 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:18,297 [ Cheers and applause ] 482 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,866 -Come on. -We need that trip to Europe. 483 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,267 We're going to get away above 60. 484 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,869 We're going to get way above 60. -Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, 485 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,872 up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. -Why is it moving so slow? 486 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,509 [ Buzzer ] Oh, my God! What? [ Buzzer ] Oh, my God! What? 487 00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,077 -That's cray cray. -Oh, you know what? 488 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:34,446 You didn't back $10,000 but it doesn't matter 489 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,049 because $15,000 is next. -Yes. 490 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,484 Okay, okay. 491 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,152 Okay, so here we go. 492 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:42,988 Our final misery is worth $15,000, 493 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:44,323 and you are going to have to get it 494 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:47,059 within a range of only 10 this time. 495 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,961 Good luck. Take a look at this. 496 00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,563 "Woman wakes up in body bag 497 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,366 after being pronounced dead by doctor." 498 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,568 -That-- That's your story. -[ Laughing ] That's my story. 499 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,738 I know. What do you rate it? Because whatever it is, it is. 500 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,473 You know, I feel like it's 70s or 80s. 501 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,841 -What's the starting point? -High 70s, I think... 502 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,244 Yeah. ...to high 80s is what I'm feeling. Yeah. ...to high 80s is what I'm feeling. 503 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,413 But what are you feeling? -If it was a 79, 504 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,382 I could rationalize that, and if it was like a 92, 505 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:11,984 I could rationalize that. You know what I mean? You're right. 506 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:12,951 Well, that's why the game is hard 507 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,354 and this is worth $15,000. 508 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,889 Okay, well, within a range of 10, 509 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:18,824 where does "You Wake Up in a Body Bag" land 510 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,325 on the Misery Index? 511 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:24,363 Mary Lynn, for the last time, your 10 seconds starts now. 512 00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:26,265 Okay, if we're comparing it to the stabbing, 513 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,134 I'm thinking high 70s or high 80s. 514 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,235 Mid-to-high 70s. 515 00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:34,873 Five, four, three, two, one. 516 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,842 Lock in. 517 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:37,910 Come on. Come on. 518 00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:39,211 We did the best that we could do. 519 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:40,345 -Ooh, yeah. we did. -We did the best we could do. 520 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:41,914 -This is stressful. -This is crazy. 521 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,716 Yeah, this is -- this is really hard. 522 00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,585 -Mary Lynn. -You got this. 523 00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:48,153 Mary Lynn, you are locked in 524 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,789 between 77 and 87. 525 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,090 Gentlemen, how do you feel? 526 00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:54,626 [ Groans ] [ Laughter ] 527 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:58,597 The trauma and the psychological effects are off the charts? 528 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,899 I feel good about what you chose. I think you won. I think you won.... I feel good about what you chose. I think you won. I think you won.... 529 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,034 Yeah. ...and we're going to go celebrate. 530 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,103 For $15,000, let's see where 531 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:09,541 "You Wake Up in a Body Bag" lands on the Misery Index. 532 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,810 Good luck. -Here we go. Here we go. 533 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,346 Alright. [ Speaks indistinctly ] -Yeah. 534 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,949 -This is so good, this game. -You know you're not 40. 535 00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:19,551 Keep going. Not 50. 536 00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:21,019 -Stop. -Now stop! 537 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:23,155 [ Ding! ] [ Cheers and applause ] 538 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:26,325 -[ Laughs ] -Oh, my God! Yes! 539 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,061 I am thrilled to say that that is correct, 540 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:30,262 and congratulations 541 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:34,299 'cause you're going home with $22,500. 542 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:36,101 That was the most serious one in a while. 543 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:39,705 My heart's beating. So that will do it for "The Misery Index." 544 00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:42,240 Mary Lynn's going to Paris. I'm Jameela Jamil, 545 00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:45,277 and from me and the Tenderloins, good night. 546 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:47,312 [ Cheers and applause ] 547 00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:51,283 Thank you so much. Thank you. 548 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:52,918 [ Chuckles ] 549 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,621 Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. 550 00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:57,456 Whew! Thank you. [ Chuckles ] 551 00:20:57,522 --> 00:20:59,458 [ Cheers and applause continue ]