[man] Previously on 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way...
[Romar speaking in Tagalog]
I'm breaking my grandparents rules.
[Romar in English]
I just wish that Mary would have told me beforehand
so I was more prepared to act right.
Hey. [in Tagalog]
Meeting Mary's grandparents for the first time, it's, like, really nerve-wracking.
[in Tagalog]
[in Spanish]
I've been trying to explain to you
why I'm worried, why I'm scared.
But none of it concerns you.
We're having a little bit of a power struggle.
Always your way it seems.
Ah!
I'm actually doing this.
I'm moving to another country.
[in Spanish]
I'm done!
I have no idea what the future holds for Yohan and I.
[Wayne] When someone comes in it sprays them full of pepper spray.
I don't know if I'm gonna feel safe with Holly being here.
It is kind of scary.
[Tejaswi speaking]
[Kimberly] I am finally in India.
But I don't know what to expect with this apartment.
I hate this.
They half-assed everything and it's done very poorly.
I'm leaving everything behind
and you can't follow through on this one thing for me.
-For your kind info. -No, you're supposed to be my partner
and you're failing at it.
You came in here acting like a dick.
It's good to be here, it's nice.
It's warm. [chuckles] And wet.
Um...
[in Tagalog]
He's asking what we're doing when we first met.
At the airport.
Oh! Um...
So...
I got to the airport...
and me and Mary, we met.
And, uh...
We talked with brother Romar.
Then we drove here.
[in Tagalog]
I'm not gonna tell Mary's grandfather that we kissed.
[chuckles]
He's got this resting B face, [chuckling] you know what I mean?
Like, it's like a stone-cold killer.
Like he's really trying to figure out what I'm made of.
So, just playing it safe, you know what I mean?
I do really love your granddaughter.
And I love her very much.
[in Tagalog]
Hopefully, me and Mary can still be romantic with each other in private,
because we're about to spend our first night together.
We talked a lot about what we want it to be like.
Like a wet dream almost.
[laughs]
-[in English] -Oh, eat some food?
-Hmm. -Okay, yeah, I'm down to eat some food.
-We're all eating some food? -Hmm!
[grandfather speaking]
I feel good about Brandan meeting my grandparents.
And also relieved that he didn't talk about the kissing.
Oh, is this it?
Careful.
[Brandan] I like it. You did a good job painting.
[Mary] Thank you.
I don't ever lie to them.
But if my lolo found out about the kiss,
I know he will be ashamed of me.
And I don't want them to unlike Brandan.
-Here is the bathroom. -[Brandan] Nice.
-[Mary] There's a lot of spiderwebs by the way. -[Brandan] Oh, wow.
[both] Yeah.
[Brandan] Not a big deal.
[Mary] I already warned Brandan
that things here in the Philippines
different than he used to when he's living in America.
Here's the room of my grandparents.
Where they sleep in.
-[Brandan] They sleep just on that? -[Mary] Yeah.
-[Brandan] And they're comfortable with that? -[Mary] Yeah.
-And there's a lot of bugs. -[Brandan chuckles]
[Mary] Like, a lot.
There's a lot of ants.
Also spiders and cockroaches.
Also, at night, the rats are going to the ceiling.
And it's very loud.
Especially when it rains.
It's Philippines, we're not living like Americans.
-Oh, that's a big spider right there. -Yeah.
-Just be careful! -[Brandan] What kind of spider is that?
[Mary] Just be careful though.
It's small spider, there's a lot bigger than that.
[Brandan] Uh...
-TV. -I really like the TV set.
I think the house is very pretty.
We need to get an exterminator out here for sure,
But I can deal with bugs until then.
I've lived in a trailer home.
I've lived in a shed, like, in my grandpa's backyard.
I've lived in my car with no running water.
So it's much better than what I'm used to.
-Oh! There's a lot of food. -What's goin' on.
[Mary in Tagalog]
-So what do we call this? -Bihon.
-[Romar] Bihon. -[Brandan] Bihon...
[Mary] It's veggies with...
-[Brandan speaking] -[Mary speaking]
-You like it? Mmm-hmm? -Mmm-hmm.
[Mary] I want you to try the fried chicken au Filipino.
Careful.
-Who made this? -Grandma.
[Brandan] You made this?
[laughs]
Good job!
Tastes amazing.
[laughs]
[Brandan] I'm getting pretty tired.
I didn't eat that much food but it was really good, thank you.
[in Tagalog]
For the food. Aw!
[both laughing]
[Brandan] Um...
Is it okay if...
we get ready for calling it a night?
You need to ask their permission first to share a room.
Gotcha. Um... [chuckles]
-Lola, Lolo. -Oh.
Is it okay if I share a room with your granddaughter, Mary?
[Mary translating in Tagalog]
[grandmother speaking in Tagalog]
It's not that my grandparents doesn't want us to share a room,
or to hug or kiss.
[Mary] But sex before marriage is different for them.
It's the most important of all the rules, and the traditions.
She said it's okay for us to share a room but...
[giggling] we can't make love.
-Oh, okay. -[Mary] Like, yeah.
Out of respect for them.
Got it.
Okay, that's... that's fair.
-[Mary] Yeah. -Yeah.
Okay.
[sighs]
We didn't expect her grandparents to be living with us,
until there was a typhoon that destroyed their home.
And I totally understand that.
But at the same time, me and Mary do deserve the privacy
that we've spent a long time waiting for.
Thank you. Thank you, both.
There's been, like, lots of sexual tension
between me and Mary on the phone
for the past two and a half years.
So, I'm still hoping that we're gonna, like,
have some sort of romantic, steamy intimacy or somethin' going on tonight.
[Corazon by Los Pinguos plays]
* Abrigo que abriga El presente *
* Eh *
-[laughs] -[laughs] Ew!
[laughs] I hate you.
[laughs] Don't!
[both laughing]
My name is Daniele.
I'm 42 years old.
I used to live in New York,
and now I live in Dominican Republic with my husband, Yohan.
[laughing]
-[squeals] -[Yohan laughs]
I love living in Dominican Republic.
I love the weather.
I love the beach.
I love the slower pace.
I love my husband.
[in Spanish]
[laughs] No.
I meet Yohan a year and a half ago
while I was on vacation with my family in Dominican Republic.
Oh! [laughs]
We got married five months after we met.
And I moved down to DR three months ago.
Hi!
-[Daniele in Spanish] -[in Spanish]
But the last few months have been really hard.
Yohan and I got into a huge fight 'cause he was really offended
when I told him that someone that I had dated from my past was coming to visit.
[Taylen] So am I gonna get to meet Yohan?
[Daniele] I mean, that's the goal,
but he is really pissed that I'm here right now.
I'm surprised you can even be with someone like that knowing you.
[Taylen] What's up, everybody?
[Daniele] And then things got really bad at the Tell All.
[Yohan speaking in Spanish]
I don't even know how to respond to that.
I haven't--
[Daniele] That was a really hard day.
Yohan felt really humiliated when he saw Taylen walk across the stage.
He felt like I had hurt him with my actions,
so he wanted to hurt me with his.
And that's why he was like, "Not only am I telling you I want a divorce,
I'm gonna tell you in front of the whole world,
so that you're just as humiliated as I am."
After the Tell All,
I was sure that our relationship was over.
But Yohan agreed to do therapy with me, which has been really helpful.
By the third or the fourth session,
he was really talking, and he was really opening up.
And I was able to understand that I wear my independence as a suit of armor.
And now I'm really trying to learn how
to be part of a marriage, and part of a team.
And that's really hard for me.
[in Spanish]
[laughs] Hey!
But it's worth it to be able to create a life with my husband,
and a beautiful life in the Dominican Republic.
[Daniele speaking in Spanish]
Yohan and I got a dog.
I feel like it's a way for us to start our family together.
It'll give us responsibilities that we can share, and something to play with.
And I feel like will be really good prep for when we have a baby.
[in Spanish]
[Yohan in Spanish]
[in Spanish]
[Daniele] I am thrilled to be driving.
It's very nerve-wracking to drive with Yohan.
Very nerve-wracking.
I'm really excited because my friends,
Sandra and Lizzette, are coming to visit.
These are my friends who I've known the longest in New York City.
And I haven't seen them since I left.
And I really want them to see my life in Dominican Republic.
[honking]
Yo. You're gonna wait, bro.
[tires squealing]
[honking]
Sorry. I'm a New York driver.
Before I moved to the DR,
Sandra and Lizzette were really concerned about my relationship.
This is it?
-Forever? -Yeah.
What're you gonna do there?
I'll eat mangoes.
[Lizzette] Marrying Yohan is one thing,
but she's giving up everything to go over there.
Everything! [laughs]
[chuckles wryly] Life is more than just sundresses
and walking barefoot on the beach, right?
[Daniele] Yohan and I have had a really rocky road.
And even though I'm looking forward,
I know that my friends are still really skeptical.
[locking beeps]
I want my friends to see the Yohan that I see,
and have the same faith in my relationship that I have.
[Lizzette laughs]
[Sandra] Wait! Wait for me!
Oh!
-Hi! -[Sandra squeals]
[Lizzette laughs]
[Daniele] Hello!
Oh, my goodness. I love this dress!
-[Sandra] Hello! -I love these dresses.
Hello! Hello!
Seeing Daniele, she looks great.
She looks happy.
-She's glowing. -She's definitely glowing.
[Sandra] Girl, I'm taking you in.
Look at this hair!
-[laughs] -Life in DR is good.
-I mean, I mean... -So much better.
Hello.
We cannot wait to meet Yohan.
You know, just to get to see them in...
-In real time. In real time. -In real time.
Here we go.
[Lizzette] Whoo-hoo!
[Sandra] How exciting.
[Daniele] I'm just so happy to speak in English.
I'm gonna use all the English words that I have.
[both laughing]
[Lizzette] So how's it going, honestly?
-We're getting along really well. -Okay.
We are inseparable.
He... We never... We never go anywhere by ourselves.
'Cause, like, I don't have any friends here
-so I'm not going anywhere. -Yeah.
And he doesn't go anywhere.
-And he's not working. -[Sandra] When he goes to--
Oh, he's not working?
-What happened? -Wait, what?
So what about the butcher shop though?
When I first met Yohan, he was a personal trainer at a resort.
But a few weeks after I moved to Dominican Republic
he decided that he was gonna leave his job
to devote more time to the butcher shop that he opened.
[Yohan in Spanish]
[Daniele] That can't be good.
There's bugs.
[in Spanish]
[in English] I don't wanna touch it!
Yohan butcher shop recently closed down
because the landlord wanted the space back.
I mean, I think that everything happens for a reason.
So, if Yohan's business closed, it closed for a reason.
Either because he's supposed to look
for a different kind of business venture,
or because he needs to learn
that you don't rent a storefront without a contract.
It's really sad but to be honest,
like, I feel like he should be training people privately.
-We live in a resort community-- -Sure.
-...he can get plenty of-- -Is that a thing?
-Could he do that? -Yeah!
I believe it's, like, a blessing in disguise.
Right now, the only place that the money can come from is my bank account
and the work that I do.
I'm a yoga instructor
And so I teach online classes, I run retreats,
I have an online membership platform
where I bring on guest teachers,
and offer spiritual education to my community.
Um, hopefully we can figure out a way
for Yohan to contribute, somehow, financially, but we're not there yet.
So what is... what is, like, a typical day for you?
I get up by the dog,
usually around... he gets up at, like, 6:00, 6:30.
And I get up and I clean his poop.
-One of us will make breakfast. -Okay.
-So nice. -And then we...
We do nothing, like just bull[bleep] till around noon.
-And then we decide if we're gonna go... -[both] No!
-...to the pool. -Four hours?
-Yeah. We just take-- -No. Four hours of bull[bleep]?
And then we decide at 12:00 if we're gonna go to the beach or the pool.
-[laughs] -[Sandra] You can't live a life like that!
-No way. -I'm sorry.
What is wrong with that life?
-Where do you make any money? -No.
[Daniele] Tell me what is wrong with that life?
[Lizzette] Where are you getting money from?
-I work online. My business makes me money. -[Sandra] Okay.
[Lizzette] Daniele could try to paint this perfect life
but I see through all the crystals and the smoke.
-And the peanut shells. -And the sage!
And the sage. And I'mma be like,
-"Mmm-mmm, nope." -[laughs]
Yes. No. We'll see.
[chuckles]
I think you're gonna love him.
He's, like, super sweet.
She moving here when you are married?
No, I don't wanna live here.
How I spent two months there, it would be a lot better if you spend two months here.
-Yeah. Yeah, I agree. -[woman] Ideal, yeah.
[woman 2] I agree.
[in Hindi]
It's all about him and everything he wants right now.
And if he's willing to throw this away,
then I don't know why I'm here.
-Kirst, you ready? -[Kirsten] Mmm-hmm.
How you feeling?
-Excited but nervous. You? -Yeah.
I think it's gonna be nice. My family's gonna like you.
I hope so.
Today I'm meeting more of Julio's family.
And after the way how his mom reacted
on telling her about moving to the Netherlands,
I'm feeling really nervous to meet them.
If he didn't even tell his mom about moving,
I'm sure he didn't tell the rest of the family either.
Now I have to relive last night with twice as many people.
Wait, hold on.
-What? -Look at this.
You see that hole right there?
Someone got shot right over there across the street.
-Are you serious? -And the bullet went right into there.
-Inside? Inside the house? -Huh?
-Yeah, yeah. -Oh, my God.
I've never seen bullet holes in somebody's house before. Like, that's crazy.
[Julio] It's crazy because my mom was in the kitchen like,
fifty minutes after that happened.
-[Julio] Scary, right? -[Kirsten] Yes.
I could never see myself lining in a place, where I can be in my kitchen
and get shot randomly by somebody on the street.
That just don't happen in my country.
-[Julio] Are you feeling nervous? -[Kirsten] Yeah, I am like,
[Kirsten] I don't know what to expect.
Today I'm taking Kirsten to my cousin's house to meet the rest of my family.
These gatherings mean a lot to me and
I think it'll be good for Kirsten to see how
my family as in how close we are.
-Just be yourself, you know... -I'm always myself.
Yeah, but like I think
you may have to be like a little bit like, just louder, like you know...
[Kirsten] But that's not me, I'm not gonna scream or something right?
-No, no not scream but, you know but like just... -Like, be in America
I am actually like a
a little bit of funny that he tells me to be more talkative.
Because like you know, it is just who I am,
I'm just very like, laid back, I am very chill.
Nobody asked me to not be myself before.
It makes me feel like does he not like me as I am.
[Julio] Here we are, how you feeling?
Uh-ha ha , stressed.
Stressed?
[speaking in Spanish]
[Julio speaking in English] I think Kirsten is in here for a cultural shock
with meeting my family.
We are Dominican, you know, we are loud and we have loud music.
They're definitely gonna grill her about
our relationship.
And don't know about my plans to move.
[speaking in Spanish]
-[in English] That's my cousin, Ange. -Hi.
-Hi, nice to meet you.
-Welcome. -That's my aunt, Maria.
-Hi, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, okay.
-That's my uncle, Manuel. -Hi.
Nice to meet you.
-That's my cousin, Steven. -Hello, nice to meet you, Steven.
[Kirsten] I need Kirsten to make a good impression
on my family, if they're going to get on
board with me moving to the Netherlands.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] Do you see how loud that guy cursed?
[Julio] Like, you see that...
Oh, even more louder.
-Oh, my God. -Even more louder, like this is just like...
[Julio] This nothing like...
-You would get a headache? Yeah! -Yeah. [laughs]
So, I know you met abroad while you travelled
-[Julio] When did I tell her about you? -[Kirsten] Yeah.
Uh, when did tell her about you? Uh, three weeks ago?
Yes.
Literally, three weeks ago.
Do you know, we dated for, uh, one year?
-[Kirsten] What? -No idea.
-Interesting.
She moving here, when you are marry?
-You wanna answer that? -What do you think?
-Answer that. -I'm not moving here. No.
-No? -[Kirsten] He wants to move.
What?
[speaking in Spanish]
[In English] I'm... I'm gonna move over there.
[speaking in Spanish]
-[in English] When? When? -In like three months.
I would... I would like you to like say something beforehand.
I mean, this is me saying beforehand. You guys want more than three months
to, uh notice?
-And you guys been dating for a year? -[Julio] Yeah.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] So she said, basically that, you know normally like,
the woman is the one that follows the man, so you should be here.
-I mean, it was your idea to come to my country right? -[Julio in Spanish]
[Steven] I just feel like especially with our family,
you know, how everything has been with getting together and things like that,
it's just... we haven't really seen you guys' relationship.
Do they know we spend like two months in the Netherlands? Do they know that?
Do you guys know that?
-Know what? -We lived together for two months.
[Kirsten] They don't know that?
Yes, we don't... we don't really know much.
-[Steven] We obviously, when... -Because you don't tell them.
-I mean, I mean, I'm just... -You should tell them more, I told you from the beginning.
You did two months out there living with her.
So like, you wouldn't do two months living with him out here?
And then decide?
No.
[all laughing]
-No, we are not doing that. -I think you...
Having seen my family's reaction and my mom's thoughts about me moving.
My cousin's suggestion for Kirsten
coming here to the US for a couple of months is
it's not a bad idea, honestly like,
it could be a nice solution to make everyone happy.
But, I just don't know how that would go over with Kirsten.
You know, I don't think she'll be
too happy with being here.
[Steven] You don't really understand our family, but like,
-They are just very -It's... chaotic.
-Close. -A close knit...
Yeah.
I mean...
I don't wanna live here.
I think they'll feel a lot better, if you spend more like...
how I spend two months there, it would be a lot better if you spend
-two months here. -Yeah, yeah. I agree.
I'm so confused because the plan was always
for Julio to come to the Netherlands.
He never brought this up
before I don't even know what he is talking about.
I think Julio is afraid when it comes to his family.
I'm really angry that Julio doesn't defend me
and that he didn't defend his choices.
And I don't think that's fair for me.
You know, we'd like to see a little bit more of you, you know.
-Of course, I'm excited to meet all of you again -And that will happen...
and that way we... Yeah.
[dog barks distantly]
[speaking in Hindi]
[sobbing]
[Tejaswi in English] So all of a sudden it just shattered my whole image of Kimberly
loving me and she broke my heart.
I told him I was appreciative.
But I also told him when I wanted.
The point was, I didn't feel like I was being, listened to.
I wasn't being heard.
And he just ran over everything else trying to tell him.
[speaking in Hindi]
[Yashaswi speaking in English]
[Tejaswi speaking in Hindi]
[in English] It just seems like,
it's all about him and everything he wants right now.
It doesn't feel like we're a team.
And I don't know if that's a cultural thing, because
in the US I feel like,
the wife and the husband are, are
made partners, like you do everything together, you make decisions together.
And now he is talking to his family,
I felt like it was me,
gonna be me against all of them and that's how I feel right now.
[sobbing]
I just need him to understand or even
see where I'm coming from.
If he doesn't wanna get married
and if he's willing to throw this away
then I don't know why I'm here.
Because I'm giving up everything to be here with him.
It doesn't seem like he cares.
I thought I was coming home.
[speaking in Spanish]
[music playing]
-Going to get grandma. -Yes.
[Armando] We are on our way to pick up my mom from the airport.
Hannah, usually spends the summers with my parents in San Felipe.
So the plan is for my mom to spend some time with us here
and then take Hannah home with her.
Oh, I forgot to take out that money.
Gonna hide my wallet, I'm gonna hide it under the seat.
I even have a $100 bill. Jeez.
[Hannah speaking]
Oh, to hide it, just in case of anything like if someone tried to take it.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] You never know for safety.
[Armando] Yep.
[Armando] We've been in Mexico City for a few weeks.
and even though I still have my concerns,
I do hate to admit but a part of me is starting to see the appeal of
the big city and all the culture and the people that live here.
When do you want to talk to mom about the possibility of moving to Mexico City?
Well, to be honest, I don't know if there's a right moment
she's always been nervous about Mexico City and
uh, and you know, I'll try to take her out and
you know, have her see our surroundings and...
She's gonna hate it though.
She probably will but you know, hopefully we shall see.
I seemed to making some headway with Armando on moving to Mexico City
he seems to be opening up to the idea now.
But his mom is coming and I'm afraid her opinion is going to
take him back to not wanting to move here.
I might have been born,
-Mmm-hmm. -here.
[Kenny] Now, when I met you
you were really unhappy.
And a lot of that was because of your family.
Because of their beliefs and what they wanted you to do.
So, it wasn't
a good thing for you to listen to all those opinions.
[Armando] You know, I get what you're saying,
however part of me like, feels like,
that is the very American way of thinking
you know, you're kind of like,
you're eighteen, you're on your own and your parents let you be,
here in Mexico, you kind of like live to make them happy.
And I'm used to that.
Where my parents live in San Felipe
it's only a four hour drive from where we live in La Misión.
But getting to Mexico City would take them five days.
So, on top of the safety issues
I do know my mom will not be thrilled with us moving here because of the distance.
-And we're almost at the airport pretty soon. -[Hannah] [sighs]
I'm so excited.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] Wait in here, Hannah. Hold on.
[speaking in Spanish]
[Armando in English] She's been so excited.
[speaking in Spanish]
-[in English] I'm so hungry. -Yes.
[speaking in Spanish]
-[in English] Can I sit next to you? -[Armando] Yes, Hannah.
-I'm hungry. -I know and your mom's hungry.
[speaking in Spanish]
[Kenny in English] How was... was your flight good?
[speaking in Spanish]
-[in English] She had a good flight. -[Kenny] Good.
My relationship with Armando's mom has come a long way.
But, I am worried because it is my idea to move to Mexico City,
that it might screw up our relationship and she might be, um, upset with me.
I know when you picked her up, she was clutching her purse tight.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] She knows, she knows how it is here.
[speaking in Spanish]
-[in English] It's her second time. -And she didn't like the
-first time she came here. -No.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] She was... She was sure that she'd never come back, 'cause
the one time she came, someone stuck their hand in her purse
and she felt that and she got scared. From then she's like, I'll never go back again.
But here she is.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] That looks good.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] Why didn't you say this earlier to me?
You always have something to say big, like always.
-Not, always Kirsten, it's just that... -You always have
to have the last word, that annoys me.
-[Kirsten] Julio, are you ready? -[Julio] Yes.
[Julio] Yes, I am. Are you?
[Kirsten] Yes, let's go.
-Whoo, looking good. -Thank you.
[Kirsten] I've been in New York with Julio for a few days now.
And before coming here to New York,
I was so excited to see Julio and meet his family and see his life,
but now, to be honest...
My friends are gonna be like, who's this devil? Who is this, Bad B?
It looks like, I'm holding it together, but I'm just like hiding my emotions.
All right, let's go.
[Kirsten] For me it's very strange that, Julio didn't tell
any of his family members about me,
and the plan for Julio to move to Netherlands.
[Julio] I think you're gonna have lots of fun.
It's gonna be a different environment, than you know, like being with family
and stuff, you know...
[Kirsten] But, tonight is Halloween so I'm trying to put things to the side
and have some fun.
[Kirsten] This is actually my first time celebrating Halloween.
And, some people celebrate Halloween in the Netherlands
but it's not as big as in the United States.
[Julio] Well, I don't need to listen to everybody.
So, I'm kind of excited to... to see it myself, in real life.
-[all exclaiming] Welcome. -Hello, everybody.
So this is Tracy. How are you. That's my girlfriend.
That's Alvin. You don't have to say hello to him.
-Say hello to them. -Hi.
That's my friend, Vicente.
Hi, Vicente, I've heard a lot about you.
I really want you guys to meet me and have a conversation, like a sit down.
Yeah, we're like, we're good.
-I mean, give it a second. -I don't know, I...
-We just met. -Yeah, give it a little...
[Julio] Let's go, let's go take a seat.
Let's go sit down.
I was telling her, Vicente out of everyone knows,
this whole relationship throughout from the start.
So he was the first one, that... that know, you told about we are...
Yeah, he was the first one that I was actually like, "Vicente, like ah,
I was like in love, you know..."
I was the first one to drove him to the airport to fly over there.
What did you think about that?
Oh, I thought he was crazy.
Like, that was the first time
-you're ever gonna meet him face to face. -Yeah.
It was literally Christmas Eve.
-How was it? -It was-- It's cute, right?
-Spending the first Christmas ever together. -[Vicente] Yup.
-[Vicente] That's romantic. Very romantic. -It's romantic, yeah.
So, you, you've only, like, actually, like, been, like,
face to face contact with this guy for what,
like, two months, three months maybe?
And you think you can live with this guy?
-Two months we spent together. -How was it, good?
[Julio] I made a good house husband, right, Kirs?
I mean, you didn't work for two months, you had to. [laughs]
We had a couple of fights.
-Yeah. -But that was more about his OCD and me not cleaning,
-or you know, like, these little fights. -[Vicente] You don't clean?
You don't clean?
-I forget spots, you know? -[Julio laughs]
And that hurts you? [laughs]
I mean, it must not 'cause you're moving over there.
Yeah, it's stuff that, you know, we gotta compromise in between there, you know?
I gotta clean out the dishwasher
a little bit more, you know?
I guess we don't agree on small things sometimes.
Well, they'd start of nothing 'cause you would start them or...
-Both. -Both.
Oh, you only think I start them?
[Julio] No, I'm not sayin'-- I'm just, I'm just asking, you--
You always have something to say back, like, always.
[Julio] Not always, Kirs, it's just like--
You always have to have the last word. That annoys me.
[Vicente] Julio never really told me about these fights,
which kinda make me think about
other things of the relationship that he might not be sharing with anyone.
I feel like Julio only shares the good, not the bad,
and it's my opinion that he's, like, rushing into this.
If he wants to move abroad, then he should,
but they haven't spent enough time together
to get to know one another and live with each other.
-So where are you guys gonna live when you move? -In her apartment.
Listen, I, I, I don't think you should be offended by it,
but, like, if Julio was like, "Yo, I'm gonna move over there on my own,
and, like, my girlfriend lives, like, 20 minutes down the road,"
I'd be like, "Oh, good for you."
But, like, he's moving there and, like, moving in, like, straight with you.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Let's say, like, you guys get into a fight or whatever.
He can't be, like, "I'm gonna go talk to, you know, my friend
or my mom," whoever he wants to talk to. It's just, like,
-"I'm gonna go to the other room." -He can go for a walk outside.
-"Go for a walk." Go for a mental walk. -[both laughing]
Ah, babe, he does have point with that.
If I was to, like, live alone in my own place, it's just, like,
would you be open to us living alone?
-Or no? Like, separate? -Why?
-I mean...
Why would you live alone if you, you have a partner? We have a relationship.
I don't know, just so we can have our own privacy.
What makes you say that?
I mean, he kinda brought it up,
so it, like, caught my attention here.
To be honest with you, this trip has been
kind of like a little eye opener for me because
I'm really getting to see people's concerns and, you know,
stuff that I hadn't considered prior to her coming here.
But I think it's definitely given me more,
you know, food for thought that I need to think about before I move.
[Kirsten] Why didn't you say this earlier to me?
This is the first time I hear it from you.
That you wanna live alone.
No, he actually made a good point though.
Where it's like, you know, you can get your own place I can get my own place
and we can sleep at each other's place,
but then we also have our privacy as well.
We could see how it is for a couple of months.
[Kirsten speaking]
From the start, you should, "Okay, Kirs, I'm not sure
if I wanna live with you because these fights."
I'm on the next step that I, I wanna build something up,
like, I wanna live with someone.
And now it's like... Just hurt me like this?
-Hurt you? Kirs... -Oh, "I wanna live alone now"?
Okay, so live alone if you want then.
Too short.
Uh, no.
[Holly] Wayne hates the way I dress.
It's a really big issue for him.
Like, I don't want people look at you like you're single
and think you're a prostitute.
And I'm sorry, it's just the reality.
[Holly speaking]
[sniffling, crying]
[upbeat song playing]
* Oh, Africa, I feel her in my bones*
* Yeah, boy, yeah, boy, I wanna hold her memory*
[singer vocalizing]
[Wayne speaking]
[Holly speaking]
Holly and her mom are in South Africa for a couple of days now,
and today is shopping day
to take Holly to go buy some more modest clothes
because I'm not liking what she's wearing.
We sort of spoke about this already.
Babe, but go more back, I can't see.
That, that's beautiful, but that is like, that's just way too short.
[Holly] Not in America.
She's used to her culture where they don't care how you dress.
But in South Africa, you sort of get targeted,
so if Holly wants to be safe in South Africa,
she's definitely gotta change the way she dresses.
-[store clerk 1] Hello. -Hi.
-[store clerk 1] How are you? -Good, how are you?
-[store clerk 1] Good, good. -[store clerk 2] What can we help you with?
-Can we just look around and see what we like? -[store clerk 1] Yeah, sure.
We've got our tops, we've got our pants.
[Holly] Yeah, just pick out whatever you like.
[Wayne] Like, I don't know. Just look, if you like something.
[Holly] Okay.
[Wayne] But I need you to have an open mind here, babe.
Well, I don't-- I only wear dresses,
so I'm only gonna try new dresses.
Wayne hates the way I dress.
It's a really big issue for him.
Wayne wishes I would dress more modestly
and I do see from his perspective,
but I definitely have my own style
that I really love and I'm attached to.
I love clothes and I love fashion,
and I'm very particular with the way I look.
That is very sexy that one.
[Holly] Yeah, I'll just grab some stuff and try it on.
Mmm, you can give to me, so I can take it for you, ma'am.
Thank you, thank you.
The thing with moving to a foreign country
is you've given up so much and you don't wanna lose your identity.
And so when someone doesn't like your clothes or tries to change things about you,
it's really hard because you don't wanna lose any of yourself
'cause you've already given enough.
-Oh, those look cute. -Is it too high, or it's...
I don't like... [indistinct] Do you have a, like, a black pair
or, like, a clear pair?
She's a young woman, she likes, like, dresses. But, I mean...
-[store clerk 1] Yes, yes. -So, like, I just thought she needs, like,
something more modest.
-Okay. -Um...
I can't zip it, like, 'cause I'm...
Baby, that's even shorter than your other dress.
-[Holly] You don't like it? -[store clerk 1] You don't like this?
-[Wayne] No. -[Judy] Yeah, she likes short.
[store clerk 1] Don't worry, we will get you sorted.
-[Holly] Well, that looks cute. -[store clerk 1] Yeah.
So, let me just go through this quickly
-while she's busy. -[store clerk 1] Yeah, sure, go for it.
What you don't like, put it on this side for me, please.
-No, I don't like that one, too short. -[Judy] You sure?
This is more like a evening gown.
-Oh, Holly picked that out. -[Wayne] Oh, she did?
-[store clerk 1] Try this one. -No. No.
-No, I hate this one. -[store clerk 1] No? That's--
Wayne, I want her to try that on!
-Uh, no. -[Judy] Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.
If you want me to change my clothes, and I'm,
I'm really, like, saying, "Yes, I'm gonna change my clothes,"
like, you still have to meet me half way.
I will never be a jeans and T-shirt girl,
like, I definitely still wanna be unique.
I don't wanna be boring, like, I have to feel comfortable in my clothing.
I think you'll like this one, baby.
[indistinct]
-[Wayne] Turn around, let me see, baby? -[Judy] Very cute.
-[indistinct chatter] -[store clerk 1] Even the back I'll have to take in a bit
'cause it is a little baggy.
-[store clerk 1] How do you like that? -I love this one.
-Yeah, you look absolutely gorgeous. -[Holly] It's my favorite.
And I appreciate you, like, wanting to change your clothes for me and stuff.
[Holly] Yeah.
So is this, like, what you had in mind
when you wanted me to dress modestly?
Yeah, well, I don't want you to dress like a nun,
you know, I just wanted you to, like,
-like, dress more modest... -Yeah
...because, you know, like I told you, I was scared,
like, people, like, they grab you, you know?
They think you single, they think you a prostitute.
Things like that, and I'm sorry, it's just the reality,
you know, because you got a beautiful body,
-so you wear short clothes and everything... -That's kinda mean.
-...the guys will turn heads. -I'm just--
Uh, okay, not a prostitute, we got that wrong. I'm just saying.
-Like, that's what goes through people's heads. -I'm trying to, like,
like, meeting you in the middle,
and you're basically saying I look like a prostitute.
Okay, I didn't mean it like that, I'm just saying, like...
Like, I don't want people look at you like you piece of meat.
Like, I just think, I think people should be able to dress how they want,
-like, I believe in individuality... -I get it, I get it.
That's all I want.
-I... -I'm being respectful of you,
I just think you should be, like, respectful of me.
-I am, babe, I am, babe, like, I'm compromising. -[Holly speaking]
I'm saying you can wear, like--
"Prostitute" was bit much.
Okay, I didn't mean a prostitute, don't get--
Stop with that. I didn't mean that.
-I just want you to feel safe. -[Holly] Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna go change.
I'm really shocked.
I'm being a good sport, and then he says
people would probably think I was a prostitute with my clothing.
I've given up everything I have to be with this person.
I've put everything on the line,
and, like, I really felt betrayed.
-[sighs] -[Holly] Mom?
-[Judy] What, honey? -[Holly] Will you help me?
[Judy] Yeah.
-[Holly sniffling] -[Wayne] Baby.
[Holly whispers, sniffles]
-Hi, babe! -Hola.
Sandra and Lizzette have just arrived from New York.
I'm about to introduce them to Yohan for the first time.
[speaking Spanish]
[Yohan speaking Spanish]
I love you, I don't wanna lose you,
I think we can make it work.
So what now?
[upbeat song playing]
-[Daniele] I'm so excited! -[woman] Whoo.
-It's ridiculous, I don't know why I'm so nervous? -[in English] What?
-I can't believe you're nervous. -I know!
-I think it's really cute. -I'm never nervous to meet anybody.
I'm not nervous.
[Daniele] Sandra and Lizzette have just arrived from New York for the weekend.
I'm about to introduce them to Yohan for the first time.
I want them to see how amazing of a person Yohan is
and I hope that everything goes smoothly.
Hi, babe!
[Daniele speaks Spanish]
-[excitedly] Oh! -Hey!
-[chuckles] Oh, my goodness. -[Yohan speaks indistinctly]
Oh, my God.
[speaking Spanish]
[in English] Oh, okay.
-[speaking Spanish] -[all laughing]
[Lizzette speaking]
[Sandra speaking Spanish]
[Daniele in English] Every gift for Gizmo. Gizmo! Niño!
-[Yohan speaking] -[indistinct chatter in Spanish]
-[in English] Look! -[Yohan] Oh!
Aw, do you want to play with your gift?
-[Yohan speaking] -[all laughing]
Yohan is like a monstrosity of a man.
He's beautiful, he's so endearing.
It's-- I don't know if it's his smile, or...
It's just so easy to engage with him.
-[speaking Spanish] -[Yohan speaks]
[Lizzette in English] I imagine he's probably very nervous.
We have very strong opinions and we have big personalities.
[in English] I'm excited to just settle in and just get to know him.
-[in Spanish] -[indistinct]
So, Yohan... [in Spanish]
[laughing]
[Lizzette speaking]
[Yohan speaking]
[Lizzette] Mmm-hmm.
[all laughing]
[all laugh]
[Sandra] Mmm-hmm.
[Yohan] Si. Si.
[Sandra] Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
[indistinct laughter]
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
[Sandra speaking]
[in English] They do believe that they are in love and that they love each other.
-They believe it. -[in English] I think they believe it for sure.
[both] For sure.
[Sandra] But telling someone, "No, you need to adapt to my way of thinking,"
that's isn't a compromise. That's the opposite of a compromise.
[Lizzette] I think as Yohan gets more confident,
he is gonna put his foot down about things,
and I think she is going to say, "oh."
Because she does-- Let's be clear, she doesn't want a man
she can walk all over, let's be very clear about that,
but if he's like, "Nope, this is how it is," what is she gonna do?
[in Spanish]
[Sandra speaking]
[Sandra and Lizzette speaking Spanish]
[Yohan speaking]
-[Sandra in English] Okay. -[Daniele] Ideally, we would...
Yeah, that's, that would be ideal.
So, if, like, we can find a space that we can open together.
I can teach yoga, he can be a trainer.
[Yohan speaking]
[all laughing]
[Daniele] Yohan still has a lot to learn
about how to run a business.
He has great ideas, he just needs to execute them.
I can't do this on my own,
so he needs to step up to the plate.
[crowd chattering indistinctly]
[clears throat]
[clicks tongue]
You good?
Why?
Oh, my God. "I don't wanna live with her anymore."
I'm more than confused, I'm, I'm really mad.
We had spoken so many times, uh, that we were gonna live together.
And all of a sudden, he, he wants to live separate?
-Sorry, I didn't wanna start anything here. -[Kirsten] No worry.
Come on, let's go outside.
[Kirsten] It makes no sense to me.
Just wait, hold on.
Let's sit right here and have a conversation.
Well, it was just, I don't know,
just a thought that was, that came through my mind.
[Kirsten] "A thought." You never spoke about this before.
And now you're, like, saying, "Oh, I wanna live separate"?
[stuttering] I just, I don't know, I just thought I was,
like, I never thought about it, like, I, like...
You never thought about it? We're dating for one year,
and now Vicente brings it up and you're just like,
"Oh, maybe that's a good idea?"
[stuttering] Well, it's just-- Kirs, like, if we, like, I don't know, like,
if we have our moments, or whatever it is, like, what a long time...
Everyone has fights, that's normal in a relationship.
You know, like, I just, I just don't see what's the big issue?
You don't wanna sleep together?
No, we can sleep together, like,
-we can spend time together. -Oh, we can sleep together, right, five days in a week,
but then we cannot live together?
-I don't know, I think... -[Kirsten] It doesn't make sense.
...I, yeah.
[Kirsten] I've seen a side of Julio that I never seen before,
and it's one that I really don't like.
I feel like this is not the man I fell in love with.
Okay.
I don't wanna lose you, honestly, I really don't.
I, listen, I love you, I don't wanna lose you, I think we can make it work.
I am trying to, you know, do right by Kirsten
and do what I promised her that I would do,
but there's a lot of things that I need to think about.
I don't like this.
It hurts me, it hurts me.
[Julio] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
We still have two months, you know,
before I make the move over there.
I know we will be good. I know it.
It's hard because I wanna reassure Kirsten
that it's fine and it's okay for us to move in together.
But I'm starting to have
second thoughts about me moving.
[breathes deeply]
-So, what now? -[Kirsten] Huh?
-What now? -What now, I wanna go home.
[Armando speaking Spanish]
[speaking Spanish]
You okay?
[Virginia sniffles]
[Armando speaking in Spanish]
[Virginia in Spanish]
[Armando speaking in Spanish]
[in English] I didn't feel supported
when I came out the first time, six years ago.
Because, I think they were afraid and didn't know how to approach it.
And I...
I cut 'em some slack, 'cause I was like, you know what?
They need time too.
But with everything that I went through
and my family knows I went through,
my mom is in some ways victimizing herself, is very unfair.
I've held so much in.
I've been so hurt over the years.
And now I'm going to voice it.
[in Spanish]
[in English] The only reason I left San Felipe was because I had to.
Because I felt like I had to survive.
And so, her calling me out for it, is very triggering.
I had nobody there to support me.
So when Kenny decided to move to Mexico,
I saw it as a new opportunity to start fresh,
to start new in a new place.
[Kenny] It's a lot.
-You okay? -No.
It's just, she's just sort of sad about...
She said like, how we... like, I hurt her.
[exhales heavily] I hurt her when I first left.
And I'm hurting her now by wanting to leave further.
And it seems like I just want to hurt her.
You have to let her know, this isn't about her.
You know, she can't take it personally, like, it's out to get her or something.
'Cause it's nothing like that. Zero.
I know Armando's mom loves him to death.
But I wish she could see sometimes what she does to him.
She puts so much guilt on Armando.
And, sometimes it seems like
she won't let him put his own happiness and feelings first.
[Armando speaking in Spanish]
[in English] This is the bed where we gonna sleep in.
[Brandan] Our first night together,
I always imagined it was going to be freaky,
very steamy.
These are my boxer briefs that I got in preparation.
Has the bulge thing going for it. So... [chuckles]
Oh, God. I'm so tired.
There's a lot of bugs.
Yeah. There's definitely a lot more bugs than I was expecting.
-But, not a big deal. -Yeah.
This is the bed where we gonna sleep in.
Me and Brandan are finally in our room together, just the two of us.
And I feel happy, nervous, shy.
Because it's our first time to sleep together on a same bed.
So, I am mixed emotions.
I can't explain myself.
-So tired. -Lemme close this.
-Are you not tired? -I am tired.
-You think we should get ready for bed? -Yeah.
-I'm gonna go change. -Okay, I'm gonna change, too.
All right.
After over two years on the phone,
it feels amazing
to finally be alone with Mary.
And, I'm definitely more than ready for our first night.
These are my boxer briefs that I got in preparation for my and Mary's
first night together.
I guess it just shows off your package more, when you wear 'em.
So, has the bulge thing going for it. So...
I don't know. [chuckles]
I'm not a virgin, but Mary is.
And I totally respect that.
And even though her grandparents are telling us
that we can't be intimate.
I didn't ask for her permission first and we already kissed.
So, I'm hoping that Mary is okay with some intimacy
on our first night together.
-You ready? -Yeah.
Oh, okay. You're dressed.
We were, like, definitely very active,
as far as, like, phone sex goes.
Like, almost everyday.
So, I'm not gonna lie.
I always imagined it was gonna be freaky,
very steamy, and, um...
Yeah.
So...
normally...
we'd be on the phone right now.
Not like...
-this close on the bed. -Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
When I asked your grandparents for permission
to use the room with you, is there, like,
-you know, no funny business? -Yeah.
Uh...
So...
Um...
[gecko clicking]
-[gecko clicking] -What is that?
[Mary speaking]
-[Brandan] Oh, it's gone now. -It's gone.
Um...
I don't wanna come off as, like, rude
or disrespectful.
But, um...
[both chuckles]
Do you by any chance foresee the night changing?
Um...
[chuckles]
Maybe we could just... know you're tired.
-Okay. -Yeah.
'Cause I'm kind of nervous.
-Nervous? Like... -Yeah.
From what your grandparents said earlier,
about us not doing anything,
or because you're nervous, like about...
being intimate in general?
[Mary] Um, I think...
I'm not ready yet. So...
That's understandable.
I don't wanna force you.
Got it.
I know we're having a lot of intimacy on the phone.
But it's different that he's here now in person.
And, it's a big deal to me.
Just today, it's my first time
to have meet me and Brandan on the same bed.
First time kissing Brandan.
All our first time.
Thank you for being understanding.
Of course.
And also, now that Brandan is here,
and my grandparents is here too, same house,
it's awkward for me.
I still haven't told Brandan
that they want me to wait to have sex until we get married.
So, that's a lot of pressure to me.
[Brandan] So...
we should just go to sleep?
-Yeah. -Yeah?
Do you want blanket?
Um...
-No, it's okay. It's really hot anyways. -Yeah.
[Brandan] I am disappointed.
But I'm just trying to be respectful.
I've waited over two years to be with her.
And I can wait a little longer.
I understand.
So I'm gonna sleep here.
My head's here. You head's there.
-Okay. -I'm sorry.
I mean, don't be sorry.
-I love you. -Yeah.
Sure. Goodnight.
All right.
-Goodnight. -Goodnight.
You should just...
-Turn around. -Turn around?
But at the same time,
me and Mary are used to being on the phone 24x7.
Like, I've pooped in front of her.
I've had phone sex with her.
Like, there is no reason she should be uncomfortable with me.
But she's giving off a vibe here in person.
And I should be allowed to at least
be facing her, and holding her, and cuddling with her.
But I can't even do that.
[Brandan] Oh, yeah.
I just want you to acknowledge the fact that you hurt me.
This isn't what I wanted.
I'm just asking you to say you hurt me.
And you will not do it.
Why won't you just say that you hurt me?
I cleanse this house with light and love.
There's been a lot of negative energy in this house.
TJ texted me last night.
And said that I could come down there and sleep.
With, I guess, him and Yash and his mom on the same bed.
But I told him I really didn't want to talk to him. [sniffles]
This is not at all how I imagined my first night in India to go.
And honestly, that kind of, broke my heart.
Last night was really uncomfortable for me.
It was cold. There were mosquitoes coming in.
I turned the shower on, and the water ran for maybe, two seconds.
And I can't flush the toilet.
This is supposed to be my safe place.
This is supposed to be built for me and,
I can't even use it the way it's supposed to be used.
I love TJ.
That's no question.
But, this is just one example
of, um, me not being hurt in our relationship.
The envision that I wanted
for the apartment, just was ignored.
But, I know my opinion matters
and I know I matter.
And I feel like, if he doesn't see that...
why are we here?
Last night I could see a bunch of guides,
and they said that they've always been here for me,
which made me feel better.
But...
it's just scary to think that you're all alone.
Especially when we are supposed to get married next week.
[sniffles and exhales heavily]
[Tejaswi speaking]
[sighs]
[whispers] Hi.
Hi.
Fine.
No.
Because I'm angry.
Are we still getting married?
[Tejaswi] Yeah. Still getting married.
Well, okay. Then we need to resolve some issues.
-Like what? -Like that last night
you weren't listening to me.
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I expected you to be calm too.
I never underestimate your efforts.
I know you're doing a lot, TJ.
But I'm not gonna sugarcoat things.
That's not who I am.
What do you mean?
[Tejaswi] Baby, you know that what I'm talking about.
-Whenever I said you're acting like a dick? -Yeah.
That's not abusive. I did not say you were an [bleep].
I did not cuss at you. I was not mean to you.
I was saying, I think you're acting mean.
Okay.
Dick is not a cuss word.
D-I-C-K [bleep].
-D-I-C-K means, you know what exactly it is. -Testicles, yeah.
So, why you are using such a bad language?
-If you know that. -Would you want me to say testicles?
See?
-Look, if you are-- -It's okay for-- No. You look.
-Because you did say. -It's okay for you to call me a bastard?
Because you say that word again and again.
It's not a bad word.
It's not a bad word for you.
Why are you trying to use my gender against me right now?
Your entire culture is so sexist.
You need to understand this.
[Kimberly] That word's come out of my mouth
regardless of whether I am angry or calm.
I cuss.
That's a habit of mine.
-Okay. -I've been cussing since I was 13.
Probably before that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, it hurts me whenever you yell at me and you don't listen to me.
Well, since yesterday, I don't have a plan anymore.
Because the way you're talking to me,
it does not make me excited to marry you.
No, since the way you spoke to me out there yesterday.
I understand.
But you didn't bring any of the things that actually mattered to me.
-No. -You didn't bring any toilet paper over here.
I am listening, TJ.
I'm just trying to tell you my point.
Do you not understand? I just want you to acknowledge the fact that you hurt me.
Did you hear anything I just said?
If you listen to me, then I'll understand.
No! It's not if you listen to me, TJ.
I'm trying to just say, will you, please just say, "Yes, I understand.
Maybe you wanted some toilet paper here.
Maybe you wanted a toilet that would flush".
Can you acknowledge the fact that this isn't what I wanted?
Can you just say, "I understand"?
And I'm just asking you to say you hurt me.
And you will not do it!
Why won't you just say that you hurt me?
[sobbing]
[woman] Next time on 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way...
[Mary speaking]
when he's chubby, he's huggable,
like teddy bears.
So you can't see yourself living here at all?
What do you mean?
Are you really sure you still wanna move to the Netherlands?
[speaking in Spanish]
[Daniele in English] If I go with the medical route,
this is a much shorter bet,
than what we've been trying.
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] It does concern me that he had not one job,
two jobs that he no longer has.
[speaking in Spanish]
[Armando speaking in Spanish]
[in English] I began to hate myself.
Sorry. I need a moment.
[Yash speaking]
And what did I do?
I moved across the world for him.
No. I'm not showing stupidity.
You're not understanding what I'm saying.
But don't you dare ever call me stupid.