[narrator] Previously on90 Day Fiance: The Other Way...
It's time to make a decision.
Well, I don't have an answer to that.
[sobbing]
[Armando] I feel very mis led.
I just didn't expect this.
[sobbing]
I've booked us some place to look at to move.
I spent a lot of money on this house
like I've told you, everything for you guys to keep you safe.
And now you've got to book appointments behind my back.
Until my financial situation changes
I can't afford to move.
Why can't we just go look?
-Do you wanna argue right before I leave? -No.
-Huh? -No.
Things are so off between us and I just want it to be how it was before.
-You're very very... right? -Mmm-hmm.
-Just three months? -You promise?
I promise. Pinky promise.
[Brandan] You would get mad at me if I turned off my phone and I went out.
I'm sorry.
[Brandan] I really, really hope that jealousy issues
between me and Mary subside and go away.
We're not gonna fight, or over think, or get jealous or insecure anymore.
-All right? -Okay.
[sighs]
Let's see if you're ready.
Hello!
How are you?
Good. How do you do? You look beautiful.
Oh, really? Thanks.
How's the weather there? Is it hot?
Oh, my God. It's like, I'm in a sauna everyday. It's terrible.
I remember and I don't miss it.
[Taylor] Yeah, for sure.
How's Mexico City?
It's been good. Um...
Armando's more on board to move to Mexico City.
We shall see. I'm not sure yet.
-But, he's out right now with Hannah. - Okay.
Um, so I have to set them loose.
-Aha. -You're gonna be a grandpa again.
[laughs] Oh, my!
Wow.
It's crazy.
No wonder your boobies look big.
[Kenny] Wow.
Wow.
I can see pregnancy agrees with you 'cause you really are glowing big time.
-I can see it. - I laughed. Thank you.
Well, I'm very happy for you and
I can't believe a grampy times three.
[Taylor] Yeah, it's crazy.
[Kenny] You know, I have four children
I have two gran children at this time,
and seeing the very first picture, the very first sonogram of
what is soon to be my next grand baby
love it. It fills my heart.
It also saddens me a little bit because
you know, I...
I'm constantly reminded when I see things like this that I'm missing so much.
That's the saddest part about,
um...
[Taylor speaking]
Your kids growing up and having their own families.
Although I'm glad about it but it's just like, not being around for
[Taylor] Yeah.
But I'm gonna try to come back as much as possible and
you know, I wanna see you get fat.
- Oh, no. I don't... -Your feet swollen.
[Taylor] Speaking of babies, how's that going with you two, I know there was
some discussion and then I haven't heard much about it.
Um... it's been a back and forth issue.
I guess.
Armando really wants to and
I wanted like to let him achieve everything he wants to achieve.
And I think, we'd be a great team on it because I've always loved having children.
But, you know, you never think you're at a point where
you have to admit maybe that
you're just too old to keep doing it.
Right. I think it would be
hard for us, your children in the United States to
form a bond or a relationship with a baby, but
I'm happy when you're happy.
You know what's right for you and how you feel.
[Kenny] But right now, how I am thinking,
I don't think I want to.
That's okay like,
you can't do everything.
You have to do something for you too, you know.
And Armando should understand that.
[Kenny] This is where the age difference really
plays a part in our relationship.
Because, he's at the age where people have children.
I'm not.
It's like sometimes I'm walking a tight rope because
I have a husband who I really want to make happy.
This is one of the only times I felt like, maybe
that I'm not the right person for him.
[Holly] So, I want a walk in closet
uh, security system.
-What are you talking about? -Well, everything I want in the house.
I'm making a house list.
Living in South Africa, I really don't think that I'll ever
feel a hundred percent comfortable, unless I move to a gated community.
A place where I can go running at night.
I've talked to Wayne about it but he's been really resistant
about looking for a new place to live.
So I've decided just to go hide and just
book an appointment inside a gated community.
And then see what's out there.
The swimming pool...
[Holly] Do they have air conditioning here?
You act like I'm the queen of England that has all these high demands.
Like air conditioner is like a, human... like it's a human
-natural thing to want. -Not in South Africa.
What?
[Holly] Why are you in bad mood.
To me like, time is money in my business so...
This is... This looking at houses feel like a complete waste of my time because
Holly doesn't know this, but I personally know we can't afford it.
-Dayl how are you? All good? -Wayne, nice to meet you. Welcome.
Good, good man.
Very good area it's going for about two point two million.
This is nice.
Uh, dining room area, lovely kitchen with granite tops.
And it's got a gas, um, so...
Have you had any break ins here?
-Not here. Not this complex. No. -Not here?
How long has this complex been here?
From about 1990.
Yeah, let's look. I'm excited.
That's the main house there. Now we come to the bedroom part.
[Holly] Yeah.
Yes. That would be the master bedroom.
-[Holly] The size of this room. -[Daryl] Mmm-hmm.
-How many square feet? -Um, it's a 139.
-Square meters. -Square meters, yes.
Right square meters.
-So, it's range in square feet? -I'm not sure.
[mumbling]
-Oh it's... it's 456 feet. -I don't...
-How's that possible? -No, it must be much more than that. Show me.
-That sounds kind of small. -Yeah, this is very small.
Hundred and thirty nine square meters is
Okay, cool.
'Cause it's times 300.
Are you sure? That still seems very small.
Oh, just saw the swimming pool.
-See. -Yeah, it's good a little special pool
which is really lovely.
That's cute.
[Wayne] So what did you say, this goes for two point two?
[Daryl] Two point two. Correct you're.
If you'd like to take a seat then we can...
answer your further questions.
Ah, so on a scale of let's say one to ten,
how does this home meet your requirements?
Like, security wise I think it's perfect.
I think it's a really nice house for the price.
Like think the quality is really nice, but...
I mean, I don't know. This is the only house that we looked at so far.
If you wanna look at more properties, what's the maximum you want me to look at?
-Like what's your budget? How high do you want me to go? -Well, like, 400,000.
-That's dollars right? -I'm sorry four million.
-Sorry four million. -Four million.
Wayne, right?
What are you talking about babe. Four million is freakin' crazy.
It's not 500,000.
We can't go high on price.
-[Wayne] What are you talking about? -We technically could though.
-It's not that much money in US dollars. -Now, we go again.
We are not in the U.S.A. We're in South Africa.
I'm still on USA at this time.
Oh, my gosh.
Cool if you wanna buy us a house I guess we can go five million.
It doesn't matter.
-I'm just saying... I'm just saying that... -I've got a beautiful house
-for you in that price range. -I'm just saying if I was gonna buy a house
it's gonna be a house that I wanted not
-just like a house that I'm really in love with. -Sure, sure.
What's the maximum rate you had?
Well, I wasn't even planning to buy a house until you made an appointment
-without my knowledge. -Are you saying...
-I'm gonna give you guys a few minutes just to -Okay.
discuss it in there.
-Okay, thank you. -I'll see you shortly. Yeah, thanks.
Excellent.
So, what do you think?
I just don't think we'd be able to afford it now because business hasn't been
-all that you know. -But it doesn't hurt to look and see like, like...
What's the point of looking now, when you can't afford it right now.
No, I've never seen you books. I don't really know how much you make.
But every time I ask you, you just brush me off.
How much money do you have saved?
Before I came down here, you said you can provide for me financially.
I said, I can provide for you financially, right. That was before I lost my contracts.
That was before--
Well, it's not that I can't provide for you.
I'm saying, I can't buy a house now.
The way our financial situation is like,
it's gonna be impossible to buy a house at this stage.
If Holly realizes that there's absolutely no way that I'm gonna be able to afford
to give her what she wants.
Well, I've just been a bit hard.
We can't buy house.
I don't know like where I can look?
Who I can speak to?
It can't be like this forever.
[speaking in other language]
[in English] I cannot just wait around for someone who might never show up.
[speaking in other language]
[Brandan in English] It's so hot outside.
It's okay.
[Holly] Now, that me and Brandan have been together in the Philippines for a few days
I feel more relaxed having him by my side.
And he agreed to be friends with my friends.
So, I feel like I'm not overthinking too much,
I feel more secured and calm now.
[Holly] So when we're going to church
-do you know how to do the sign of the cross? -Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
You do? Show it to me.
Amen or this.
What does this mean?
-Oh, okay. -Yeah.
Today, I'm gonna take Brandan to the church.
I go every Sunday and I would love Brandan
to be a Catholic like me.
You will follow what I do, like, if I kneel down you'll kneel down.
Okay.
I won't force him but he knows he really needs to go to the church
if he wants to marry me.
Are you excited?
-I mean... Mmm... -Why?
-It's important me though. You need to learn it. -I...
[Brandan] It's just not originally important to me.
But if it's important to you then it's important to me.
Thank you.
You're welcome, babe.
-[Mary] We're here now. -[Brandan] Oh.
-Time to look good. yeah. -Right now?
I believe in a higher power, but
when I turned seven years old I kind of stopped going to church.
Because my Mom stopped forcing me to go to church.
So, this is definitely new experience for me.
-[Mary] Can you see that? that's Jesus Christ. -[Brandan] Yeah.
[Brandan] Right.
[both laughing]
[bell dinging]
[Brandan] I'm trying to play cool and be calm
but, at the same time, I'm just like really, like
it's already lot of pressure to just expect someone to basically adopt a religion.
So, Mary told me that, she doesn't want me looking at other girls.
It is a bit much.
[speaking in other language]
[Mary speaking in English]
I'm just like not understanding what's going on and I'm trying to
fill in the boredness, but if I even turn my head,
she doesn't like it.
And that's... that's [bleep] up.
[speaking in other language]
[Brandan in English] Here we are again, with Mary getting insecure and jealous
even though we talked a lot about how
that won't happen anymore.
[speaking in other language]
[Brandan in English] To be physically controlled
like where I can look, who I can speak to,
I don't think anyone should have to live like that.
I just feel like I can't win.
I know.
It can't be like this forever.
[Mary speaking]
I got back from New York a couple of weeks ago
and things are still not great with Julio.
[speaking in other language]
[in English] So, today I'm meeting with my friend Yara because I really wanna have
her opinion about this whole situation.
Yara is one of my best friends and we were friends since we were five years old.
[speaking on other language]
[speaking Dutch]
[In English] I know.
[speaking in other language]
[Kirsten in English] The other day Julio called me and told me
he cannot make the move within a couple of months as we planned.
His Mom was telling that him that she needs still help at the house.
I told him like yeah, like if you need more time six months is fine I get it.
And he still wasn't even sure about six months.
I'm so flabbergasted and mad at the same time.
Because I feel like I'm stuck waiting for Julio now.
Yeah.
[speaking in other language]
[Yara in English] Yeah.
[Kirsten in English] I know it's not easy for him to move.
And I'm trying to be understanding, of course,
but I cannot just wait around for someone who might never show up.
[Virginia in Spanish]
[in Spanish]
-[Kenny] We both lost children. -[Armando] Mmm-hmm.
That's initially what made me even consider it.
Oh.
Wow!
[Hannah]
-[in Spanish] -[in Spanish]
[Armando in English] Today we're gonna explore...
[in Spanish]
[in English] I am happy that my mom's coming
because it gives her the opportunity
to see this part of the country
and this part of the culture we have here in Mexico.
This is super cool.
But I didn't sleep very well last night
because I was thinking so much
about what happened at the coffee shop.
Kenny and I had, I think, the biggest fight we've ever had,
and I haven't wanted to bring it up again,
and we haven't talked about it.
[in Spanish]
[Hannah]
[Virginia in Spanish]
-[Armando] -Mmm-hmm.
-She's enjoying her time? -[in English] Yeah, she's been feeling good.
[claps] Yay.
-[laughs] -Wow, like, what does that mean?
She's asking how it went at the surrogacy clinic.
[in Spanish]
[Armando]
[in English] Yeah, so, like, you and I just have to talk it out.
You know, she would like us to.
She would like me to have another child
and for Hannah to have a sibling,
but she knows it's up to us.
Well, I go back and forth in my head
-because we both lost children. -[Armando] Mmm-hmm.
So that's initially what made me
-even consider it, you know? -Mmm-hmm.
[Kenny] Armando and I bonded when we first met on the gay father support group.
I lost twins at four months with a miscarriage,
and Armando lost a child.
You know, you already start to love those children
from the moment they're conceived.
So the thought of having another child could help heal those wounds
and kind of fulfil something that never took place before.
[in Spanish]
[in English] She's gonna sit.
-I told her not to go to the edge too much. -[Kenny] Yeah.
[Armando in Spanish]
-Oh. -[cries]
[whispering in English] Oh, my God.
It's okay.
[in Spanish]
[sniffs]
[Armando] When Hannah's mother was eight months pregnant
she had a car accident and passed away.
So, uh, they both passed away.
[sighs]
Throughout the years, I've spent time wondering, you know,
who and what this child would have been,
um, how the child would have interacted with me, with Hannah,
the moments we would have had together.
We were ready for her birth. We had a name picked out.
It was very hard to lose her,
and there's no way of explaining the pain and the feelings.
[in Spanish]
[Virginia] Mmm-hmm.
Seeing Armando get this emotional tears at my heart.
I didn't realize it still affected him that much.
[sighs]
[whispering]
[in English]
I want to make him super happy.
I want to fulfill all of his dreams.
But, you know a lot of the reasons I think that I just can't do this
and can't have a baby is my age.
Am I gonna get sick and then I'm not gonna be around for them?
That's really a big fear is that I won't...
[exhales]
[sniffs] That I won't be around to see 'em grow up.
[sniffs]
[sighs]
And is that fair to them?
[in Spanish]
-[chuckling in Spanish] -[in Spanish]
Yeah.
It's really frustrating because I made it, like, 100% clear to Wayne
that, like, communication is the number one thing that's important to me
in a relationship with a partner.
When you get ready to really apologize why don't you tell me?
[Holly] Mom.
-Hi. -Hi. What are you doing?
-Just drinking my coffee. -Is it good?
Yeah. Oh, it's delicious.
-Is it? -Yeah.
So, how did looking at houses go yesterday?
It went okay.
Like, it definitely wasn't, uh,
neither one of us liked the house, so, like,
-but it was just to kind of get an idea. -Yeah.
I was kind of surprised, like, um...
Because when I met him, um, his business was going very well.
So I'm gonna have a look at his books,
and just kind of see where we're at,
and if there's, like, any ways I can help or, like, you know.
-Well, you'll whip him into shape. -Yeah.
After meeting with the realtor yesterday,
I'm still really confused as far as where we stand right now financially.
I understand that he's had a lot of setbacks,
and I completely understand, I'm empathetic to it, and that's not a huge concern,
but I feel like if I get a concept of what's going on
I could be helpful to him, I could be resourceful.
Okay, let's practice our bridal walk.
Come, babe. Please, I don't have time. Come.
Okay? One, two, three.
[Wayne] Holly wants to speak about my financial situation.
So if Holly wants to see the finances I'll show her the finances.
Come, love. Get in. [kisses]
[Wayne] But I don't know how she'll react to that, you know?
Like, I'm feeling, like, big pressure right now.
Like, the stress levels are through the roof.
[Holly]
But if you talk to me about it I can help you, like...
-...so, um-- -Just give me a moment, babe, please.
Sorry.
Uh, yes, she's gonna bring you the key now, eh?
[Holly] It's really frustrating
when Wayne keeps everything inside
because I've made it, like, 100% clear to Wayne
that, like, communication is the number one thing
that's important to me in a relationship with a partner.
I've trusted him to keep me safe.
I've trusted him to give up everything.
[sighs wearily]
And he doesn't want to, like, talk about business, or money,
or have, like, at least let me help him in some way.
Before we look into this, like, it's not gonna change anything.
It's not gonna change the way I feel about you.
I'm just curious where we're at.
So what's going on?
Like, before I met you and stuff, like...
You know, like, I just feel a bit, um...
you know, like, sort of disappointed in myself.
I'm sensitive to the way you feel,
so when you're upset I'm upset.
And when you have a bad day I have a bad day.
And it's okay because I love you.
I'll spend 1,000 bad days with you.
I just need you to, like, let me in and not hide stuff from me.
Because when you shut me out I take it really personal.
Yeah.
I'm thinking to myself, "I don't want you to help me."
It's just gonna create drama in our marriage.
Yeah, I'm a bit scared about that.
I don't want to put my stress on you, you understand?
-Like, you... -But I'd rather that than you, like, block me out.
But I can separate business from pleasure.
-I can't. -I can.
I can't. That's the problem with me.
I don't think I would go that way,
but I understand your concerns.
I don't want to go there again where I was.
I know you have trust issues, but you have got to let all that go.
Well, let me say something. Like, I think I've done, like, something...
What does that mean?
Well, I don't know.
Depends if it's gonna work or not.
Wait, what are you talking about?
I've pumped, like, about 40K into this.
To what?
Into crypto.
-Is that why? -Yeah.
[Wayne]
So you took our honeymoon money
-and put it in crypto? -Babe.
Babe.
I feel like you should have included me with that
because, like, I gave up a lot to be here.
I bought my wedding dress, I bought my plane ticket.
I've spend over $5,000.
I've done a lot to marry you.
-Well, it wasn't to take the honeymoon away. -Took everything...
I told you, babe, like...
-this was before everything... -So we're going on our honeymoon?
No, not at the moment.
I just wish you would have told me.
That's all I'm saying.
It's almost like you don't see the severity of it.
You hurt someone that loves you so much
and someone that sacrificed everything.
You hurt me.
Okay, fine, nevermind.
Don't look me the eyes and tell me that you were wrong
because you were 100% right and I'm wrong.
Did I say I was right?
No, but you're, like, you're not acknowledging
-that I feel this... -Okay, babe. I was wrong. I was the wrong one.
No, because that's not a real apology.
When you get ready to really apologize
why don't you tell me and we can talk.
And, like, I didn't look like an idiot telling my friends and family
coming to South Africa to marry some guy?
[sighs and sniffs]
[Holly] I feel really hurt.
I've put everything on the line,
and, like, he's left me in the dark.
I feel so betrayed.
How do I get out of here, please?
Thank you.
[Holly] He's deceptive.
It's just completely heartbreaking.
[sighs]
[sniffs]
I want you to trust
that I can look and talk to anyone
without leaving you.
[horns beep]
Yeah.
I mean, I didn't understand
what they were saying most of the time.
The singing part was nice.
[sighs softly]
-But, um, I liked it, most of it, so... -[chuckles]
I want you to go to church every Sunday.
But I want you to know and believe that God really exists.
I mean, okay, I just want to be clear about something.
I'm willing to learn but I don't want to be, like,
forced into submission
or told, "You have to sit here and, like, not look or talk to girls."
Like, not even allowed to do that?
You can do it if you want.
It's not about if I want.
I can't, like, go out in public or look at someone
without you accusing me of being a cheater.
-I won't accuse you anymore though. -So...
I'm just telling you not to look because it's church.
Why do you want to?
It's not about what I want, Mary.
It's about you trusting me, not having this lack of faith in each other.
Yeah, there you go. Think about that.
[Mary cries]
I just can't stop myself from being jealous.
I'm afraid to be left behind.
I spent almost two-and-a-half years talking to you on the phone,
never leaving you for anyone else,
and then finally coming here in person.
You still feel that I'm the kind of guy that would leave you?
[Mary sniffs]
[Mary] My parents leave me and my brother when we are kids.
They didn't message us, they didn't give us support.
I think it's my fault, and I think to myself,
"They don't love you."
Every time I meet people I'm afraid that if I love them
they will just leave me behind.
I don't like it but I can't stop it.
Even if I got baptized, even if I married you, even if we had kids,
would you finally let go of your fear of abandonment?
[sniffs]
[whispering]
-[sniffs] -I need to know.
Maybe?
-It's kind of hard to hold on to a "maybe." -[sniffs]
I need something to hold on to.
[cries]
[sniffs]
Then what you want me to do, huh?
[cries]
[sniffs]
I want you to trust that I can look and talk to anyone
without leaving you.
[sniffs]
I'll do anything you want, but you only have to do one thing for me,
and that is to trust me.
[sniffs]
I'll get the respect of your family,
-I let you hang out with your friends. -[sniffs]
[hiccups]
-But you know what's important to me? -[sniffs]
Being able to, like, go about my life.
I can't be limited like this.
[sniffs]
I'm not asking for permission.
I'm telling you that, even in person,
I feel like I'm still not good enough for your trust.
[sniffs]
[crying] Help me.
-[sniffs and cries] -Baby.
[groans]
[cries]
[man] Next time on 90 Day Fiance The Other Way.
[Holly] I don't know how it escalated like that.
He knows I don't know my way around here, and he just took off?
I'm in the gutter, just, like, on the side of the road.
and, like, he didn't even come get me.
What kind of person would leave their fiancé
stuck in the middle of nowhere?
[woman] How are you and your man?
So good. He's, like, really down to earth.
[Shekina] My boyfriend's name is Sarper
and he lives in Istanbul, Turkey.
He's sweet, he's thoughtful,
and our sex life is just, like, out of this world.
It's insane.
[giggles]
[Daniele in Spanish]
[in English] I feel like we have some major differences
about how we should raise a family.
[in Spanish]
[cries]
Honestly, I don't know if I can just be content
and happy with this on a daily basis.
[cries]
[Brandan] It hurts so much
when I feel like I don't have this trust,
[crying] and I'm trying really hard
to just hold on.
[sniffs]