[woman] Previously on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way...
It's the first day of my wedding
and my stomach was upset from the moment I woke up.
And I [bleep] my pants.
It's not really the feeling that I thought I would have
on my wedding day.
[Shekinah] We talked about him having female clients
and we agreed that he's not gonna do that.
You're gonna call me a bitch right now
when I'm upset?
Hold on.
[Armando speaking]
It's scary as hell.
But I wanna go through with surrogacy.
I never thought that he had this in him.
You don't deserve anything from me.
Nothing.
I'm gonna try and get better.
Then be better.
Well, it's not gonna happen in one minute.
Okay, Brandan.
[Mary] Maybe he should leave
because I don't want our baby to suffer.
You think it's better for everyone here
-if I'm... -Maybe.
...if I'm just not here.
Maybe, because you can't change your attitude.
[Sarper] Babe.
Wow!
You like it?
Yeah. Oh, my God.
-You look gorgeous. -Thank you.
-Perfect. -Thank you.
It's the first time that I'm meeting with a...
I want to impress her somehow.
Yeah. You will.
You're gonna make us dinner.
Okay.
[Shekinah] I've been living in Turkey for about a week now
and it hasn't gone the way that I had hoped.
But I'm just gonna put that on the back burner for now
because my sister just arrived in Istanbul today
to visit Sarper and I for the weekend.
Just be yourself.
You know, she likes to see me loved up.
So make sure you give me lots of attention.
-Of course. -Yeah?
-And then, um... -That's the best thing I do. You know that.
Yeah. But she's definitely like a more critical sister.
Like, it's so fast,
and she thinks you're too into your own self,
and not me.
-Really? -Mmm-hmm.
So just like make her see that you do care about me,
and not just yourself.
Don't say that to her.
-Why? -Because it doesn't sound right.
Don't say that you wanna change me.
Don't say that you want
to "make me the most beautiful girl."
Really? But you like it?
I do. But it can be taken wrong.
Like, she's gonna think that I'm not good enough for you,
so you're having to make me better
so that I'll deserve you or something like that.
You know?
It can be taken that way.
But it's me, babe. How can I change myself?
-I mean... -You don't need to change yourself.
Just be careful when you talk about...
-What? -...making me into the perfect girl.
Don't talk about that.
Okay.
It's the first time that I will meet with a family member
of Shekinah.
Uh, so...
And sometimes I'm not thinking too much before I talk.
You know, I know. I hate that side of me.
I mean...
I'm an idiot sometimes. Yeah.
I know that.
You're gonna do great.
I'll change my outfit.
-Okay. -And then we'll go, okay?
Okay, babe.
While I'm excited to see a familiar face
and have my sister come and meet this man
that I'm so in love with...
I'm also a little bit apprehensive
because of how negative she was before I left LA.
[Shariyah] Everything that you have shared with me
just make me super-worried for you.
Like, all of the guys that you've been with
have been like complete [bleep].
Okay. You'll wait here?
[Shekinah] It is Shariyah's personality
to latch onto small things
that she sees that are negative
and to not really let them go.
So this is gonna be a little challenging.
[festive music playing]
-Good morning, Kimberly. -Hey, Kim.
How you doin'?
You look so pretty.
-Thank you. -Look at you!
It is day two of our back-to-back wedding ceremonies.
Yesterday was an absolute whirlwind of activities.
Can we sit for a little bit?
Yeah, please.
Okay.
But today's gonna be even crazier.
We're gonna have more ceremonies,
more outfits
and a long time still until we're actually married.
How are you feeling? How's you stomach feeling?
I'm feeling okay. I'm just anxious
because I'm feeling like I'm late
for two ceremonies right now.
Have you talked to TJ this morning?
Not since I left the hotel.
Okay.
Has anybody else talked to you at all?
No.
I have no idea what's going on.
[line ringing]
-[TJ on phone] Hello? -Hey, where are you?
-[Lisa] There he is. -Hey.
-[Curt] That was effective. -Namaste.
What are we doing?
In an hour?
Okay. Can we make sure that someone actually informs us
of what's going on?
Because I've been over here
thinking that we've been running late for everything
and nobody's told us that you're actually not ready yet.
[speaking foreign language]
[in English]
Okay.
[Lisa] I can see why you get frustrated
because it's very hard to understand what and when.
I feel that all the time.
-And nobody's telling me what's going on. -Right.
[Kimberly] I'm trying to stay calm and levelheaded.
And I just want to know what I'm supposed to be doing.
But I don't know.
And I don't feel like anybody's keeping me
in the loop of my own wedding.
No shoes? What did you say?
"Please remove the shoes."
[speaking foreign language]
[Kimberly] Can we have a translator please?
-Yeah, he just left. He's comin' back. -Take your shoes.
[chanting in foreign language]
I'd like the translator to be here
to explain what the chant is for.
[speaking foreign language]
-Is that okay? -Proceed?
[continues in foreign language]
You want me to put it on it?
-On it. -On.
Can someone please let us know what's happening
before this happens?
I'm getting kind of frustrated.
I'm a spiritual person
and we're just kind of going through these motions.
Right hand.
This ritual is important to TJ.
And if it's important to him,
I also wanna understand what's going on
and the significance and the meaning behind everything.
I don't just wanna go through the motions.
I wanna know. I wanna learn.
And I wanna experience the culture as much as I can.
Okay, I've gotta calm down.
[Lisa] What's wrong?
I wasn't in the mood at all
or any kind of energetic field to invite...
or do any kind of worship just then.
I'm trying to have a good day.
This is supposed to be a happy day.
Hey. You are gonna have a good day.
Nobody seems to give a [bleep] about me though.
We've been looking to see if you can have
a brother or sister.
[Armando] I don't want her to be upset
because she's gonna be affected the most.
[Brandan] Lolo, I really would appreciate
having your blessing to wed your granddaughter.
I don't know if Brandan will really change
like for real.
[Latin music playing]
[Hannah] What do you wanna eat, guys?
Do you wanna go get some snacks?
-Yeah. -You guys love your snacks.
Well, I'll tell you. It does feel good to be back
here in La Mision.
And driving here is a lot easier and calmer,
so I like that.
Kenny, Hannah and I have been back in La Mision
for about a month.
But we haven't yet talked to Hannah
about our plans to move
and to start surrogacy.
The last time I brought up having a baby to Hannah,
she wasn't happy with the idea.
[Hannah speaking in foreign language]
[Armando in English] She wants an adopted child.
[Hannah speaking in foreign language]
I'm still not sure how she's gonna feel about it,
so I'm a little nervous on what she's gonna think.
Because her opinion matters to us,
especially because she's gonna be affected the most.
-Whoa, jeez. -Whoa.
[speaks foreign language]
There's more if you want, but.
[Kenny] That's your favorite.
Let me ask you...
When we went to, um, Mexico City and all that,
did you like the trip there and everything?
-Yeah. -Did you like the city?
Yeah.
I like.
[Armando] What was your favorite part?
-The school. -The school.
The school was your favorite part?
Yeah.
What would you think...
if we decided...
to move there?
But where are we gonna live?
We're still working on that.
But we'll get a really cool...
apartment.
[speaking in foreign language]
Okay?
[Kenny] Hopefully, like, we'll get a school we can walk to,
so we can even take the dogs with us when we pick you up.
Yeah.
My school.
-To your school. Yeah. -New school.
Your new school.
So, you're okay with it, then?
Mmm-hmm.
[Hannah speaking]
I know before, you said how you would want a brother
or a sister...
that was your age.
Right?
Well, we've been looking
more and more to see if you can have a brother or sister.
Why not baby?
'Cause.
What's your worry about like a baby
over an older kid?
You think that...
like, your daddy will wanna spend too much time
with the baby?
Yeah.
Depends on what you talk.
-We have to teach it. -The baby will be bilingual.
Will know both.
That's what's fun is you'll be able to teach the baby
how to speak.
[speaking in Spanish]
Yeah.
Can they have the same room?
You want the same room?
Wow.
I--
I would be all about it.
[Armando] It feels very good to hear
that Hannah is okay with our future plans.
Um, she's okay with moving to Mexico City.
And she's willing to share a room.
It shows that she's happy,
up for this change we're gonna have.
And it's the best thing I could have ever asked for.
[speaking in Spanish]
She says, "I won't change the diaper though."
[both laugh]
We'll do that.
So would it be better if I just go back to America, then?
Maybe.
Maybe, because you can't change your attitude.
Look, Mary...
I realize how bad I've become.
And I'm...
saying sorry now and I'm making a commitment.
An oath.
To change.
Minimize the fighting, not shout, not walk away.
For you, for your grandparents
and for the baby that we're about to have.
You need to wake up early and help me with chores.
Okay.
[Brandan] This conversation is a big reality check for me
because we need to really grow up
and try to minimize our fighting and arguments.
[Brandan] I do not wanna raise my child in a chaotic household
or with parents who separate.
I've lived in that sort of environment
almost my whole life.
So I'm not gonna miss this opportunity
to show her that I can do it.
I can step up and I can fit the bill.
Lolo, I know that I'm not perfect.
But I really love this family.
I love Mary with all my heart.
And, um...
I guess I already asked for Mary's hand.
But...
I really would appreciate having your blessing
to wed your granddaughter.
[Mary speaking in foreign language]
[in English] Um, that's the good thing
that we're gonna get married before the baby comes out
and we make sure that our life will be peaceful now.
I 100% agree.
Thank you.
[speaking in their language]
[Mary] I really didn't expect that he will
ask Lolo for the blessing.
It means a lot to me
because he's showing respect to my lolo.
But still,
I don't know if Brandan will really change
like for real.
I'm just really grateful that we were able to clear the air.
This time, just please,
I want you to follow what Lolo said
and be better.
You'll be a father,
so you need to control your emotions.
I don't want our baby to see that you are like that.
You have obligations now.
Yeah, I know.
This is the last chance.
I really won't forgive you.
I promise you, Mary.
I love you.
I love you, too.
[man speaking]
Oh, there's a customer.
Can you, ano, hand me the Palmolive?
The green one. 'Cause I can't reach it.
I hope that me and Brandan will solve everything
and that we will have a better life,
not stressing.
Because if he doesn't change,
I don't know what to do.
I don't my baby to...
have no father at all.
-Here you go. -Thank you.
-[Mary speaks in foreign language] -[Brandan] Thank you.
Yohan and I are meeting with a life coach today
so that we can work on our communication.
You want what you want.
You want it now.
And you want it to be given to you.
[inaudible conversation]
Yohan and I are meeting with a life coach today
so that we can work on our communication.
We just had an argument in the car.
And the fact that my husband can sit next to me
and speak this way to me is really heartbreaking.
I need someone to help me explain to Yohan
that the way that he's engaging in this relationship
is not effective, it's hurtful
and it's destroying it.
Daniele, hi.
[speaking in Spanish]
Okay. Okay.
[in English] I think that's a really good example
of what I'm struggling with.
I have to take the lead a lot.
Mmm-hmm.
And I feel like I'm really looking for an equal partner.
But I don't feel like right now I have one.
Okay.
Uh, Yohan...
[speaking in Spanish]
[in English] I've been here three months,
and you want me, in three months,
to purchase a home,
a car,
and have money left over to help your family.
You want what you want.
You want it now.
And you want it to be given to you.
No.
The suggestion that Daniele would ever make an agreement
that she would work all day
while her husband sat home and played with the dog
is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
All we ever talk about
is that I need him to contribute financially.
So, this is the first time I'm hearing this story.
I find this funny because it's so...
ridiculous
and I would never say that.
But I understand why, if you thought I said that,
you would be confused in this moment.
But that is not what I said
and I apologize for your misunderstanding.
I came in really wanting to, um,
cause bodily harm to Yohan,
but I think it went really well.
I feel like Yohan is being really open
and trying to not be so stubborn.
But, in order to make our marriage work better,
he has to show me some actions.
[Kimberly] I don't like people touching me at all
in general.
And I especially don't like people touching my feet.
Aah! That's not a small drop.
Take a few minutes. Take a few breaths.
-I need to. -Meditate. Breathe.
[exhales]
We're gonna try to figure out how we can get somebody
to tell us what's going on.
Okay?
[Kimberly] I don't feel like this is a wedding
that's incorporating me.
I just feel like I'm here.
TJ, no one's letting me know what's going on.
I'm really frustrated--
I don't expect you to have to do everything.
That's the thing.
I feel like somebody else
should be able to let me know.
-Are you sitting over here or on this side? -Here. It's okay.
[speaking in foreign language]
[TJ] Okay. Okay.
[Lisa] What does it mean? What do I do?
So everybody coming and just touching feet
and cheeks.
-The toes and the cheeks. -Yes, yes, yes.
Okay.
[TJ speaking]
Whoo!
[speaking in foreign language]
[Kimberly] It is a little awkward
with me not being able to understand
what everybody's saying
whenever they're coming up and touching me.
I don't like people touching me at all
in general.
And I especially don't like people touching my feet.
[speaking foreign language]
[Kimberly in English] But at the same time,
I can tell it's out of love
and that makes me feel more comfortable.
-[Vinat] One, two, three, four. -[woman] Together.
-A small drop. -Small drop.
Aah! That's not a small drop.
We had a little bit of a rough start,
but I feel like I'm in a much better headspace.
-I need to know. -You like to know about everything?
-Yeah. -Yeah, that's important.
-You know I like learning things. -[Lisa] I thought it was fun.
Yeah, lots of fun also, yeah.
It's nice when I know.
This is probably the biggest night of my life.
So I don't wanna dwell on the problems anymore.
I'm allowing all of the negativity to go away
and I just wanna have a positive outlook
and remain optimistic the rest of the day.
[TJ] You feeling better now?
-Yeah. -Love you.
Love you too.
[Shekinah] My sister just arrived in Istanbul
and I'm a little apprehensive
of how this night is gonna go.
So, if Shekinah wanted to see your DMs,
how do you feel about that?
-That's because he's hiding something from you. -I never--
I'd rather die to show my DMs to anyone.
Are you gonna show me or not?
-[Shekinah] Hi, babe. -Welcome.
-Hello. -This is my sister, Shariyah.
-Hi, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you too.
-Shariyah, Sarper. -Welcome.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
My sister just arrived in Istanbul for the weekend
and I'm a little apprehensive
of how this night is gonna go.
Welcome to my city.
It's different to what I thought it was gonna be.
-Really? -Yeah.
It's really pretty.
Mmm-hmm.
Hopefully she can see the great connection
that Sarper and I have
and, you know,
take a good report back to the rest of our family.
Welcome to my new home in Turkey.
Thank you.
Okay, I'm gonna go get slippers for us.
-Okay. -And then I'll come help, babe.
-Whatever you need. -Okay.
I definitely don't like to make an assumption
about who somebody is gonna be.
But everything that I know about Sarper from Shekinah
is not really good.
So, we'll see how tonight goes.
What are you making for dinner?
Well, something special, you know.
So, raw meat.
Yeah. Raw meat.
I chose to prepare a Turkish dish for her.
It's ten years that I didn't make it for anyone.
But I want to show her how special they are for me,
both Shekinah and Shariyah.
[clears throat]
Sarper, tell me more about your collection.
It looks like you have a lot of different--
-What collection? -...types of alcohol.
They are not full.
They are empty bottles.
-Oh, they're empty. -Mmm-hmm.
Do you have certain ones or like memories
from different experiences or like...
people?
[Shekinah] Then why do you keep the bottles?
It's weird.
It's not weird.
It's weird.
The past is following you.
And if I'm your future, you have to get rid of the past.
[Shariyah] And how does that make you feel
if Shekinah is like uncomfortable with something?
[exhales]
You wanna feel like it's your idea.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's sounds a little controlling though to me.
It's not-- For example, Shariyah,
she wanted me to post something in social media
of us together,
and I made a story.
Didn't you tell her that you wanted to wait to do that
until she came here with you
'cause you were worried what could come out
from social media if you did that?
Wait. What?
Slut.
You're saying that my sister acts like a slut?
[Sarper] I mean, uh...
bitch.
That's like [bleep] up.
[Shekinah] Never in my life
have I been called a bitch or a slut,
ever.
-Really? -No.
Why? Because I get upset with you?
That's because I'm upset with you.
I cannot believe that Sarper is calling me a slut
and the "B" word right now.
I'm horrified. It's disgusting.
But he's trying to express himself in English
and he has a limited vocabulary
and he's trying to think of any word to describe me
right now in a non-favorable way.
Like, wrong time, wrong word.
Do not call me that.
Are you okay with the man that you're with
talking to you that way?
I don't like it.
Where's the respect?
[Shariyah] You actually believe that though?
Sarper, to be honest,
it's very hard to take your word
because I know of your past.
Really?
You've been kind of like a [bleep] boy.
Oh, really.
So, if Shekinah wanted to see your social media
and go into your DMs right now,
-how would you feel about that? -I never let her.
-That's because you have something to hide. -That's because--
It's my private life.
-No. It's because you have something to hide. -If I--
Okay. Give it to me, then.
-No. You too. -I'm not in a relationship with you.
I'm her sister. I would like to see.
Babe, really--
Hey! Don't talk to her like that.
Like, the way that you're speaking to her,
it's so disrespectful.
-It's like your way or the highway. -No, it's not. It's not.
-She knows this. -And I would like to see as her sister.
I flew all the way here from California.
Oh, my God.
I'd rather die, you know.
I'd rather die to show my DMs to anyone.
Seeing DMs is a private thing, you know.
I mean, I will show my DMs,
but you will show your panties
because it's your private area.
It's the same thing.
I'm not hiding anything. It's not about that.
And they don't understand this.
Are you gonna show me or not?
No.
Because I never--
That's because he's hiding something from you.
This is one thing, I am honest.
Well, you can't show your DMs.
DMs, posts, DMs, posts.
Okay, I'm gonna go back to my hotel.
No. Please.
-Yeah. No. I am. -Please.
I didn't have any intention of like actually going,
"I wanna see your DMs."
But his response was just so defensive
and like protecting himself.
And if it doesn't alarm Shekinah
and really raise red flags to her,
then I kind of feel like I'm wasting my time here.
Sarp, it was nice to meet you,
but I definitely don't wanna stay any longer.
[sighs]
-Babe... -Nice to meet you, then.
Really? That's what you're gonna say?
Yeah.
I'm not surprised.
Like, I'm honestly not surprised.
No.
You're speaking too much, Shariyah.
All right.
-You are so cute... -Have a great night.
...but you are speaking too much.
What I see from him is someone who wants to have control.
He's wants to tell you the way it's gonna be--
This wasn't his best night.
I don't look at it that way.
-I'm gonna go. -Okay. I love you.
-[Shariyah] I love you. -I'm sorry.
[Shekinah] Asking to see someone's DMs
isn't something I would normally do.
I do think it's a little invasive.
But his reaction is just so shocking and strong.
So I don't know what to think about it.
[sighs]
This night went about as badly as I think
it could possibly go.
[woman] Next time on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way...
[TJ speaking]
[Kimberly] If I was to get married in the US,
I could do it all in a few hours.
And I'd probably be having sex right now.
[woman] Hey, guys, how are you?
[Kenny] Good. We're excited.
Today, we're going to the surrogacy clinic
to pick our egg donor.
Next.
[Armando] Next.
Oh, I liked her.
Yeah, she's pretty.
[Kenny] Doing this, I realized
we have the same taste in women.
If we ever want a three-way, we-- [laughing]
Sometimes I can be offensive. I know that.
I understand you.
But I feel like not everyone does.
I just feel ashamed.
With Shariyah, I have to give her a better impression
before she leaves.
Here she comes.
-[Shekinah] Here she is. -Yes.
I'm worried that your mom will hate, you know,
Philippines, our life here.
Brandan's mom's gonna be here for our wedding.
-Hey, Mom. -Hi!
I feel so nervous and I'm worried.
Well, this is Mary.
[Angela] As far as me and Mary having
some sort of good relationship...
Hug. Hug.
...that's not happening.
"Oh, don't upset Mary. What you're saying is hurt--"
I don't care.
Anyway.