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Previously on
90 Day Fiance:
The Other Way...
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00:00:03,206 --> 00:00:07,793
Is it common for men
in China not to work?
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00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:22,137
Dempsey texted me
just now and said
we can't afford the van.
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I did not need
this extra stress.
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And I am having
second thoughts, like,
"Maybe this is a bad idea."
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I didn't know we were
depending on that money.
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That's not true.
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It's been
about a month since
Tata moved to Indonesia
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and I'm getting ready
to move there in about a week.
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When is she coming back?
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So, she's actually
not planning on coming back
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because I'm gonna
go over and join her.
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And Mom and Dad
do not know.
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So...
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I mean, you gotta tell 'em.
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These bottles
represent women
he's been with in his past.
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Make peace with it,
it's not a big deal.
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"Make peace
with it?"
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Yes.
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You make peace
with this.
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This is a love letter
that my ex-boyfriend wrote me.
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- I don't wanna talk anymore.
- I'm sure you don't.
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I'm so excited.
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Thank you.
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Oh, my God!
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Oh, baby!
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Oh, happy--
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Oh.
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Yes.
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Love you.
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You're so cute.
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Love you.
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- Oh. Yes.
- Love the little bow.
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here, you take these.
I'll get the bag.
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Thank you so much. I like.
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- Pink flowers. Favorite color.
- Uh, yes. Pink flowers.
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- You understand me.
- Yes.
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- Always you know me.
- Yes.
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- I love you.
- I love you more.
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Love you forever, baby. Oh!
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I love you.
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Don't worry about it, okay?
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I'm so happy.
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Finally together.
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Ah.
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Welcome to your home.
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It's so beautiful.
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Let me show you
our home, okay.
Okay.
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It's so much different
in person.
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Okay, honey.
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because it can make, uh...
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- Ice?
- Icy.
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- Ice.
- Ice.
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Oh!
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No ice cream.
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Baby, follow me.
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Oh...
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Oh. No, you first.
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- You first.
- Okay, thank you.
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Second floor.
Second floor.
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That is so cool.
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So cool, huh?
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There's music.
Yes.
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There's elevator music.
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Okay...
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Our bedroom?
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Okay.
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Cool.
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00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:06,310
Your phone control lights
in whole house?
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Yes.
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Ah!
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Oh, English.
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Oh, yes.
English for you, honey.
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- I love you. You're so sweet.
- Mmm-hmm.
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Aw.
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- For us.
- Oh, for us.
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Love the toilet.
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Shoot water.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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You like?
Yes.
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Okay.
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Hmm.
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Well, I'm proud of you.
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Thank you.
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- Do you like our house?
- I love it.
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The little things you did...
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- Mmm.
- ...like the English.
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- English.
- Yes. That English.
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- It shows me that you care.
- Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
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So, thank you.
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Uh...
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I know you put
a lot into it.
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- Yes.
- And I appreciate it.
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Lily always, you know,
reminds me
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of how much money
she spends for the house.
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It's exhausting.
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You know,
I don't need to hear it.
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I just got here.
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I don't wanna be reminded
of how much money
she spends on me.
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Go get your toy.
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Hey, be a good boy.
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Never thought I'd be saying
goodbye to you, little man.
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Today, I will be finally
leaving to Indonesia.
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And it's sad
to be leaving Jojo behind
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and I don't know how long
these rabies restrictions
are gonna be in place.
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He is part of mine
and Tata's family.
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He's our fur baby.
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So, having to separate
ourselves and split up
our family like this,
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is just the last thing
I wanted to have happen.
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But, he is gonna be staying
with some very close friends
I have that came to get him.
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And I know that they will
take very good care of him.
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and love all over him
all the time.
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It was really difficult
to say goodbye to Jojo.
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That was the last
little bit of family
I had here right now.
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My parents...
our relationship is,
right now, it's strained.
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It's definitely strained.
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I ended up telling my parents
that I am leaving
for Indonesia
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after I told
my brother, Jimmy.
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My family, right now,
not my biggest fan.
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It went about
as bad as it could go.
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Mom was just saying
how she's not happy about it.
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It's really short
and last minute.
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She was crying and...
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Dad never said anything
the whole time.
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That means I hurt him.
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Yeah...
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00:08:06,482 --> 00:08:08,448
I'm sorry that we
did it this way.
129
00:08:10,689 --> 00:08:14,448
It was zero warning
and I've done this
before in the past.
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That was just
a move to Florida.
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But this is
outside of the country.
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And I said
I wouldn't do it again.
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So, it's hurtful.
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Hello?
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Hey, hey, Josh.
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James, what's going on, dude?
Hey, man.
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Holy cow!
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Big day, huh?
Oh, yes.
139
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Pretty big day, for sure.
140
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It's crazy,
I got like a long flight.
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Uh, it's like 32 hours,
but I have an 11-hour layover
in Istanbul.
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Wow.
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00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:49,379
Josh is a very close
friend of mine.
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00:08:49,379 --> 00:08:52,275
He was the only one
who could drive me
to the bus station.
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00:08:52,275 --> 00:08:54,689
But I'll be taking that
to the airport.
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Boarding my first flight
to Turkiye.
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00:08:57,275 --> 00:09:00,241
After that,
I fly straight to Jakarta.
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00:09:00,689 --> 00:09:03,413
And then to Yogyakarta.
149
00:09:03,413 --> 00:09:06,517
So, it's gonna be about
two to two and a half
days of travel.
150
00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,034
All right.
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00:09:11,103 --> 00:09:12,344
Here we go.
152
00:09:17,517 --> 00:09:19,379
So, you're gonna
be staying, you know,
153
00:09:19,379 --> 00:09:22,310
- with her family
this time, right?
- Yeah.
154
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,827
At their house. Seven people
live in that house.
155
00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:26,344
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
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Holy cow.
157
00:09:28,827 --> 00:09:30,482
I'd be
second-guessing this.
158
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I mean, I'd be like,
"Oh, my goodness."
- Yeah.
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00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:35,310
- I mean, I've been
second guessing it every day.
- Yup.
160
00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:38,275
I've had days
when I wanted to just quit.
161
00:09:38,275 --> 00:09:41,827
I wanted to just
stop everything and say,
"Let's just stay here."
162
00:09:41,827 --> 00:09:43,620
Yeah.
"Let's just
give this another go.
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Maybe we just didn't try
or maybe move
somewhere else in the US."
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If everything was to go
completely down the drain
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once I get to Indonesia,
166
00:09:56,827 --> 00:10:02,137
coming back to the States
would be just
emotionally traumatizing.
167
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:06,689
I have no house, no home.
168
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,172
The only thing
I would have is my family
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00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:09,724
and I'm sure, even them,
170
00:10:09,724 --> 00:10:11,517
they're not gonna be
super supportive.
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00:10:12,482 --> 00:10:14,310
I abandoned them. Again.
172
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,310
So, if I have to come back,
173
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,689
I would be coming back
to nothing.
174
00:10:18,689 --> 00:10:20,310
Yeah.
175
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:24,206
Oh...
176
00:10:26,068 --> 00:10:27,206
All right, brother.
177
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:28,517
Go get 'em.
178
00:10:29,275 --> 00:10:30,827
I have
a lot of anxiety.
179
00:10:30,827 --> 00:10:33,000
"Will I be able
to take care of us
when we get there?
180
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,724
Is the banana chip business
gonna work for us?
181
00:10:36,724 --> 00:10:39,482
Will I be able to communicate
with anybody over there?"
182
00:10:39,482 --> 00:10:42,000
Uh, I'm gonna be having
to adjust to a lot.
183
00:10:43,689 --> 00:10:44,931
But,
at the same time,
184
00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:47,827
there's no absolutely
no turning back
for me because,
185
00:10:47,827 --> 00:10:48,896
that's where my wife is.
186
00:10:48,896 --> 00:10:51,758
That's where, you know,
my heart is.
187
00:11:00,103 --> 00:11:02,517
Goodbye,
water machine.
188
00:11:02,517 --> 00:11:04,724
I'm going to miss you
the most.
189
00:11:04,724 --> 00:11:05,931
Will you miss me too?
190
00:11:06,827 --> 00:11:08,793
Today, I'm moving out
of my apartment
191
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,586
and tomorrow,
I'm going to England.
192
00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:14,827
Nervous chuckle.
193
00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:20,103
Don't change the subject.
194
00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:22,172
It's my first
morning back in Istanbul
195
00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:24,724
and last night
did not go as I hoped.
196
00:11:24,724 --> 00:11:28,379
What those bottles represent
is like, kind of trophies.
197
00:11:28,379 --> 00:11:31,137
So, now it's just up to you.
198
00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:58,586
Do you mean like
after last night?
199
00:12:03,793 --> 00:12:05,310
I think anybody would be.
200
00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:07,068
Yeah.
201
00:12:08,275 --> 00:12:10,413
It's my first morning
back in Istanbul
202
00:12:10,413 --> 00:12:13,103
and last night
did not go as I hoped.
203
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:16,689
But, our sex life
is never affected
by our fights
204
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:20,172
and Sarper's not the only one
who went without sex
for three and half months
205
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:23,379
and I find him
so hard to resist.
206
00:12:23,379 --> 00:12:25,275
But, even though
we may have sex
207
00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:27,586
and it might be
amazing and great,
208
00:12:27,586 --> 00:12:29,482
it doesn't mean
that once it's over,
209
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,827
I'm just not gonna talk about
the problems anymore.
210
00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:37,413
Don't change the subject.
211
00:12:37,413 --> 00:12:40,724
No girl wants to see a book
like that from her boyfriend,
you know.
212
00:12:41,517 --> 00:12:43,000
It's not that
I'm so sensitive.
213
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,448
It's like,
you just don't do that.
214
00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:50,724
And what those bottles
represent is like,
kind of trophies.
215
00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:53,620
So, I do want you
to get rid of them,
216
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,413
but you already
know that, so...
217
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,482
Now, it's just up to you.
218
00:12:57,482 --> 00:12:59,310
You are my trophy,
as a whole.
219
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:01,413
- Well then, get rid of them.
- I mean, you are
my trophy in this life.
220
00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,034
Then make me feel that.
It's like...
221
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,482
What do you want?
222
00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:09,862
Come on,
let me show you something.
223
00:13:09,862 --> 00:13:12,482
- Okay. Okay.
- It's better to show you.
224
00:13:12,482 --> 00:13:13,931
You know what this is, babe?
225
00:13:13,931 --> 00:13:16,172
A really dirty wall?
Yeah.
226
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:18,620
And this is the proof
of my loyalty to you.
227
00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:21,000
- Okay?
- What am I doing
right now?
228
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:23,793
Scratching your back?
229
00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:26,275
- Yeah, like a--
- Why does that
prove your loyalty?
230
00:13:26,275 --> 00:13:27,310
Because...
231
00:13:27,931 --> 00:13:29,172
look at this, babe.
232
00:13:29,172 --> 00:13:31,448
Yeah,
your back is very hairy.
233
00:13:38,413 --> 00:13:40,103
The lengths of these hairs
234
00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:42,275
are proof of my love to you,
you know.
235
00:13:42,275 --> 00:13:44,000
You are my...
It's the loyalty.
236
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,793
- You have the most
interesting way...
- Look at--
237
00:13:45,793 --> 00:13:47,793
- ...of proving
your love to me.
- Look at this.
238
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:50,379
He's saying, "My back is hairy
so it itches.
239
00:13:50,379 --> 00:13:54,517
So, this is what I do
instead of having someone else
itch my back for me."
240
00:13:56,275 --> 00:13:59,310
This place is just so dirty,
it just like blended in
241
00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:03,310
with all the other, like,
dirty spots on the walls.
I didn't actually notice.
242
00:14:05,172 --> 00:14:06,310
All right?
- So, now it's my job?
243
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:08,931
- Instead of other girls?
- Do you mind? Do you mind?
244
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,275
Sure, I'll do it.
245
00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:11,724
- Come on.
- Kiss?
246
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:13,379
Are we okay?
247
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:14,896
Yeah. Let's do it.
248
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,000
By the way, did you know
I'm a speed waxer?
249
00:14:17,586 --> 00:14:19,000
No.
250
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,793
I used to work across
from a Navy base
251
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,241
and wax Navy guys
all day, every day.
252
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,275
Yeah, think on that.
253
00:14:29,275 --> 00:14:31,758
Make peace
with my past.
254
00:14:33,896 --> 00:14:36,344
Okay. Are you ready
for a little pain?
255
00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:40,896
Are you disgusted?
256
00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:42,586
No, of course not.
257
00:14:42,586 --> 00:14:43,896
That means you love me, no?
258
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:46,413
Nothing about you
physically disgusts me.
259
00:14:50,586 --> 00:14:51,620
Oh, really?
260
00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:53,724
Yeah...
261
00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:02,620
I even find that
and farting jokes so gross
262
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:05,103
but, uh, when I picture you
like that,
263
00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:06,827
- I never get disgusted.
- You are so weird.
264
00:15:06,827 --> 00:15:09,689
I never get disgusted of you.
Okay, well,
that's good. That's good.
265
00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:11,137
The same with the period.
266
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,000
Be quiet.
267
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,586
I have an application
on my phone
268
00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,172
tracking your period,
you know that?
269
00:15:19,172 --> 00:15:20,793
Can you stop talking
about my period?
270
00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:22,517
Ahhh!
271
00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:24,344
I should put
one of these over your mouth.
272
00:15:24,896 --> 00:15:26,000
Ahhh!
273
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:29,000
That was a good one.
274
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,275
Anytime that I'm annoyed,
Sarper just turns on the charm
275
00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:34,275
and it usually works.
276
00:15:34,275 --> 00:15:36,206
But, I still need him
to show me
277
00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:38,379
that he's ready to be in
an adult relationship.
278
00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:40,586
If I'm gonna marry him
and bring him to the States,
279
00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:41,655
he needs to grow up.
280
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,344
So, babe.
281
00:15:45,206 --> 00:15:47,827
How is your family feeling
about the K-1?
282
00:15:52,379 --> 00:15:54,379
- You haven't told them
that we applied for it?
- Yeah.
283
00:15:54,379 --> 00:15:55,827
- No.
- Why?
284
00:15:57,413 --> 00:15:59,896
I don't know, babe.
It's a big decision, you know?
285
00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:03,413
Wait. So, you
haven't decided?
286
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,689
Ahhh!
287
00:16:07,689 --> 00:16:10,241
Shekinah and I
applied for K-1 visa.
288
00:16:31,862 --> 00:16:33,689
Baby, it was
an option for us.
289
00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:36,000
I mean, we applied,
if it's approved
290
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,793
and we check the situation
and we can use it.
291
00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:41,551
It will take time because,
you know.
292
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,034
Do you really wanna go
to the US?
293
00:16:47,517 --> 00:16:49,172
No.
294
00:16:49,172 --> 00:16:51,724
- No, you don't wanna go?
- Uh, I want to be with you.
295
00:16:57,310 --> 00:17:01,000
If I come there
without enough savings
296
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:06,379
and if you make
any expenditures for us...
297
00:17:06,379 --> 00:17:08,379
Uh-huh.
- ...I feel indebted to you.
298
00:17:08,379 --> 00:17:10,793
And if I feel
indebted to anyone,
299
00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:12,310
I can't even sleep.
I mean...
300
00:17:12,310 --> 00:17:14,758
- What is your solution?
- But we can
survive here, babe.
301
00:17:16,896 --> 00:17:18,758
- And then--
- I have a daughter.
302
00:17:18,758 --> 00:17:20,586
I know that you don't know
what that's like,
303
00:17:20,586 --> 00:17:22,103
but like, seriously,
304
00:17:22,103 --> 00:17:25,275
I can't just not see her
on her breaks and just see her
in the summer.
305
00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:26,896
I... I just... I...
306
00:17:26,896 --> 00:17:30,862
We're already coming
to a place in our relationship
307
00:17:30,862 --> 00:17:33,896
where the going
back and forth,
308
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:36,103
we're realizing
it's not very sustainable.
309
00:17:36,103 --> 00:17:38,103
Like, it's too
difficult, babe.
310
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:44,931
I am really taken aback
because this was our solution.
311
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,862
I've committed to living
in Turkiye with Sarper,
312
00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:51,206
but going back and forth
every five weeks
has been difficult.
313
00:17:51,206 --> 00:17:53,551
So, if the visa's approved,
what are we gonna do?
314
00:17:57,379 --> 00:17:59,137
I don't have any clue.
315
00:18:01,103 --> 00:18:05,000
If he's having
doubts and hesitations
about moving to the US,
316
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,931
it makes me wonder
317
00:18:07,931 --> 00:18:11,517
if I should be investing
all of this time being here.
318
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:27,000
This is the desk
that I need taken apart.
319
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,793
- Okay. Yeah.
- So...
320
00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:30,103
- Grab the middle.
- Yup.
321
00:18:30,103 --> 00:18:31,137
Perfect.
322
00:18:45,586 --> 00:18:47,793
That's it.
Completely empty.
323
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,689
Today, I'm moving out
of my apartment
324
00:18:49,689 --> 00:18:52,000
and tomorrow,
I'm going to England.
325
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,413
Not only am I saying goodbye
to the home I've lived in,
326
00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:58,275
but I'm also kind of just
saying goodbye to the idea
of having a home
327
00:18:58,275 --> 00:19:00,172
that isn't on four wheels.
328
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,310
Goodbye,
water machine.
329
00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:04,103
I'm going to miss you
the most.
330
00:19:04,482 --> 00:19:05,931
Will you miss me too?
331
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,310
I know.
332
00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:13,103
Dempsey and I
still have to wire the money
to purchase the van.
333
00:19:13,103 --> 00:19:16,275
But luckily, I was able
to get an advance from work
334
00:19:16,275 --> 00:19:18,724
for the £6,000
that we were short.
335
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:22,172
So, as soon as I
arrive in England tomorrow,
336
00:19:22,172 --> 00:19:25,448
we're picking up the van
and we're starting
our new life together.
337
00:19:29,172 --> 00:19:31,000
Goodbye, apartment.
338
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,379
There's a lot
of stability here
339
00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:36,724
and I'm giving that
all up for love.
340
00:19:37,517 --> 00:19:39,172
I hope.
341
00:19:39,172 --> 00:19:42,034
Nervous chuckle.
342
00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:55,379
- Hey! What's up?
- Hi. Good to see you.
343
00:19:55,379 --> 00:19:57,620
- You too.
- Uh, you know. Whew.
344
00:19:57,620 --> 00:20:00,000
- Hello.
- This is all your [bleep]?
345
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,379
This is what
I'm taking to England.
346
00:20:01,379 --> 00:20:04,241
These two, uh, suitcases.
347
00:20:04,586 --> 00:20:05,517
Okay.
348
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:08,896
Can you help me build
a storage rack?
349
00:20:08,896 --> 00:20:11,000
- Yeah. Let's do it.
- Okay, cool.
350
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,172
Natali and I
have known each other
for about four years.
351
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,275
And she's helping me
store some stuff
352
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:18,206
that I don't
wanna get rid off
353
00:20:18,206 --> 00:20:19,724
and won't fit in the van.
354
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,172
Natali has seen me
go through a few heartbreaks,
355
00:20:23,172 --> 00:20:24,620
so she's protective of me
356
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:28,724
and I think Natali has
quite a few concerns
about Dempsey.
357
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,758
Does she usually
move very quickly?
358
00:20:31,758 --> 00:20:33,517
Yes, almost always.
359
00:20:33,517 --> 00:20:35,793
So, what makes
Dempsey special?
360
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:40,310
I'm not 100% sure
that Dempsey is special
to be honest.
361
00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:44,551
Her opinion
is invalid to me.
362
00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:48,689
So, you're down
to two suitcases?
363
00:20:48,689 --> 00:20:51,310
Yeah, two suitcases
and a backpack
364
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:53,689
'cause the space is...
non-existent.
365
00:20:53,689 --> 00:20:55,482
Super limited?
Yeah.
366
00:20:55,482 --> 00:20:58,103
I can't even wrap my head
around how's the shower. What?
367
00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:01,344
Well, it has a shower
and it has a kitchen.
368
00:21:02,068 --> 00:21:03,379
Okay.
369
00:21:03,379 --> 00:21:06,413
An expensive van, yeah.
Oh,
did y'all buy it?
370
00:21:06,586 --> 00:21:07,482
Yes.
371
00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:09,000
I took out a loan.
372
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,206
You took out a loan?
In your name?
I took out a loan.
373
00:21:11,206 --> 00:21:14,103
By yourself?
- In my name,
by my lonesome.
374
00:21:14,103 --> 00:21:16,310
For this whole thing?
Mmm-hmm.
375
00:21:16,758 --> 00:21:18,103
Not the whole thing,
376
00:21:18,103 --> 00:21:21,172
- but a portion of it.
- How much of it?
377
00:21:21,172 --> 00:21:24,310
I took out a $20,000 loan.
378
00:21:24,310 --> 00:21:26,206
Mmm-kay!
379
00:21:26,206 --> 00:21:28,275
And she sold her caravan.
Okay.
380
00:21:28,275 --> 00:21:31,172
And so that made
a pretty penny.
Yeah.
381
00:21:31,172 --> 00:21:35,103
Less that what
I'm contributing but, um...
382
00:21:35,103 --> 00:21:36,379
You're keeping
your job, right?
383
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:37,724
Yes. Yeah.
All right.
384
00:21:37,724 --> 00:21:39,827
Since I can
work remote.
- What's she gonna do?
385
00:21:40,310 --> 00:21:41,620
She's given up her job.
386
00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:43,896
So, how is she
planning to contribute?
387
00:21:43,896 --> 00:21:49,172
Like, is she just gonna be,
like, living it up
while you're working?
388
00:21:49,172 --> 00:21:51,448
Well, she did say
she's gonna make dinner.
389
00:21:55,103 --> 00:21:56,517
Okay!
390
00:21:57,689 --> 00:22:01,413
I don't love being the sole
bread winner, no.
391
00:22:01,413 --> 00:22:03,689
I would prefer
double the income.
392
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:09,206
But I agreed to this
because I want to be with
the love off my life.
393
00:22:09,206 --> 00:22:13,000
I do feel a bit jealous
and I'm hoping
I don't feel resentful.
394
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,000
Because while I'm working,
Dempsey is going to be
free as a bird
395
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,482
and able to really
explore Europe.
396
00:22:18,482 --> 00:22:20,103
So, that's gonna suck.
397
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,413
I worry about you.
398
00:22:24,413 --> 00:22:27,379
You make yourself small
in a lot of your relationships
399
00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:31,000
and you accommodate
so much for people,
400
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,620
who give you
so little, historically.
401
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,586
Because I think
you expect rejection.
402
00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:37,000
I do
expect rejection.
403
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,379
Because I was rejected
from day one...
404
00:22:39,379 --> 00:22:41,413
Yeah.
- ...when I was given up
for adoption.
405
00:22:43,206 --> 00:22:45,103
From my personal experience,
406
00:22:45,103 --> 00:22:48,482
it's not so much being
adopted but I think,
being relinquished.
407
00:22:48,482 --> 00:22:51,275
It definitely affected
my self-worth.
408
00:22:53,068 --> 00:22:55,034
My very
first relationship
409
00:22:55,275 --> 00:22:57,275
was with my mom
410
00:22:57,275 --> 00:22:59,000
and then, she rejects me.
411
00:23:00,068 --> 00:23:03,310
So, if the one person
who's supposed to, like,
412
00:23:03,620 --> 00:23:05,586
love me, doesn't,
413
00:23:05,586 --> 00:23:08,620
then of course,
everyone else isn't going to.
414
00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:13,758
I just constantly feel like
I'm going to be rejected
at the drop of a hat.
415
00:23:13,758 --> 00:23:16,827
And it's affected
every relationship
that I've had since.
416
00:23:18,275 --> 00:23:21,689
I'm really worried
that you're taking on
everything financially
417
00:23:21,689 --> 00:23:25,517
and she's just kind of getting
to like, kick back and relax.
418
00:23:25,517 --> 00:23:27,586
And enjoy Europe.
And enjoy.
419
00:23:27,586 --> 00:23:31,172
I'm just afraid that
like because you've lacked
420
00:23:31,172 --> 00:23:34,689
so much love, that you're just
so grateful that someone
will move into a van with you,
421
00:23:34,689 --> 00:23:36,551
that you're willing
to overlook a lot.
422
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,172
Damn!
423
00:23:41,275 --> 00:23:45,103
Statler, she has a tendency
to jump into situations
424
00:23:45,103 --> 00:23:46,896
without really
thinking it through.
425
00:23:46,896 --> 00:23:51,482
It's just this willingness
to put aside common sense
426
00:23:51,482 --> 00:23:54,103
for a chance at love.
427
00:23:54,103 --> 00:23:56,000
I've just seen how badly
it can turn out,
428
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,413
so... it makes me
worried about her.
429
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:03,172
You deserve love
and I hope that it is her.
430
00:24:03,172 --> 00:24:06,413
But, you deserve
to be taken care of, too.
431
00:24:06,413 --> 00:24:10,551
You don't have to earn
her love by taking care
of her financially.
432
00:24:11,275 --> 00:24:13,103
Dang, yeah.
433
00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:15,206
I mean, I would just say like,
kind of, maybe,
434
00:24:15,206 --> 00:24:17,793
just think like,
"What am I giving to this?"
435
00:24:17,793 --> 00:24:20,551
Yeah.
-"And what is she
giving to this?"
436
00:24:21,172 --> 00:24:23,034
Yeah. Geez, okay.
437
00:24:23,275 --> 00:24:24,517
This is a lot.
438
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,448
I feel like an emperor.
439
00:25:05,862 --> 00:25:08,275
This is my first
morning in China.
440
00:25:08,275 --> 00:25:10,172
I can't believe I'm here.
441
00:25:10,172 --> 00:25:12,724
It's like a dream.
I need someone to pinch me.
442
00:25:13,551 --> 00:25:17,379
I'm trying to get
the stovetop working.
443
00:25:17,379 --> 00:25:22,482
From the looks of it,
I don't think
the gas line is connected.
444
00:25:22,482 --> 00:25:24,862
So, last night,
I fell asleep pretty quick.
445
00:25:24,862 --> 00:25:27,620
As soon as Lily and I
were in bed, lights out,
446
00:25:27,896 --> 00:25:29,034
I was out.
447
00:25:29,034 --> 00:25:31,068
I was too exhausted.
She understood.
448
00:25:31,068 --> 00:25:33,206
So, I'll have
to make it up to her.
449
00:25:37,275 --> 00:25:40,275
The stove doesn't have gas.
450
00:25:40,275 --> 00:25:41,793
I'm trying to make it work.
451
00:25:41,793 --> 00:25:42,758
Oh...
452
00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:52,482
Oh, for the fitting?
453
00:25:54,275 --> 00:25:56,000
Okay.
- Okay. Go, go, go, honey.
454
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,172
Okay.
455
00:25:57,172 --> 00:25:59,034
The wedding Lily and I
had in the US
456
00:25:59,034 --> 00:26:01,689
was just her and I.
It was pretty spontaneous.
457
00:26:01,689 --> 00:26:05,241
We wanted to get married
before she had
to go back to China.
458
00:26:06,965 --> 00:26:08,724
Oh, my God. Where?
459
00:26:14,896 --> 00:26:18,000
But now, we're gonna
have this awesome
wedding ceremony
460
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,793
for her friends,
her family.
461
00:26:20,655 --> 00:26:24,344
So, how many people
will be at our wedding?
462
00:26:24,344 --> 00:26:27,000
Maybe 30 people.
463
00:26:27,862 --> 00:26:29,379
I'm as excited
as can be
464
00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:32,586
because I love
traditional Chinese clothing.
465
00:26:32,586 --> 00:26:34,000
And the food.
466
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,655
So, she actually
ordered turtle soup.
467
00:26:35,655 --> 00:26:38,034
That was one of the dishes
that, you know, I requested.
468
00:26:38,034 --> 00:26:40,379
So, I'm looking forward
to that day.
469
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:54,793
Mmm-hmm.
470
00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:13,275
Oh!
471
00:27:23,172 --> 00:27:24,103
Oh!
472
00:27:30,758 --> 00:27:33,758
Honey,
do you think this one?
- It's beautiful.
473
00:27:39,689 --> 00:27:41,379
I am letting you decide.
474
00:27:41,379 --> 00:27:43,275
Okay. Uh...
I'm just kind of
following you.
475
00:27:43,275 --> 00:27:45,241
We will decide.
Yes.
476
00:27:45,241 --> 00:27:46,137
We will try on.
477
00:27:46,137 --> 00:27:47,413
- Okay.
- Okay.
478
00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:13,379
I'm glad we decided
to do this ceremony
for your family and friends
479
00:28:13,379 --> 00:28:15,931
because they could not
make it to ours.
480
00:28:16,586 --> 00:28:18,000
So it's special.
481
00:28:23,379 --> 00:28:24,862
Because you mentioned it.
482
00:28:24,862 --> 00:28:29,000
You said you want a wedding,
so I said, "Okay."
483
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,655
I was happy.
I like to save money.
484
00:28:33,655 --> 00:28:35,379
- I design leads.
- Honey, you said...
485
00:28:35,379 --> 00:28:37,862
- Okay. If you...
- You said you wanted to...
486
00:28:37,862 --> 00:28:38,896
uh...
487
00:28:40,275 --> 00:28:41,931
- If you say so.
- Oh.
488
00:28:53,137 --> 00:28:54,275
Okay, we try on.
489
00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:55,241
Yes.
490
00:29:02,448 --> 00:29:05,241
So, so beautiful.
Looks good.
491
00:29:05,241 --> 00:29:06,655
I love it.
492
00:29:12,689 --> 00:29:14,689
Okay, you try on, honey.
493
00:29:15,896 --> 00:29:16,931
Wow!
494
00:29:21,034 --> 00:29:22,275
Ooh, the hat.
495
00:29:23,896 --> 00:29:27,137
I love it.
496
00:29:27,137 --> 00:29:28,172
Hand.
497
00:29:29,655 --> 00:29:31,241
I feel like an emperor.
498
00:29:31,241 --> 00:29:33,586
- You feel this one better?
- Yeah.
499
00:29:33,586 --> 00:29:35,413
Mmm...
500
00:29:38,275 --> 00:29:40,379
Yeah, I like it better though.
501
00:29:40,379 --> 00:29:42,137
- You like better?
- Mmm-hmm.
502
00:29:42,137 --> 00:29:43,793
So...
I will
pay difference.
503
00:29:44,379 --> 00:29:45,620
Uh, you will pay?
504
00:29:46,172 --> 00:29:48,000
I can take care of it.
505
00:29:49,172 --> 00:29:53,586
Lily has not asked for any,
you know, financial help
for this wedding ceremony.
506
00:29:53,586 --> 00:29:55,482
But, when I sold my house,
507
00:29:55,482 --> 00:29:57,482
I had a little money
on the side.
508
00:29:57,482 --> 00:30:03,137
So, the least I can do
is give her the dress
that she wanted.
509
00:30:03,137 --> 00:30:05,931
- So, you want
too this one?
- Yeah.
510
00:30:06,551 --> 00:30:08,793
- You will pay money?
- Yes.
511
00:30:08,793 --> 00:30:11,275
Because I have no money.
512
00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:13,379
Yes, I know.
You always say that.
513
00:30:15,103 --> 00:30:19,379
My money, you know,
pay house a lot.
514
00:30:19,379 --> 00:30:21,379
- A lot of money.
- Yes, you always tell me.
515
00:30:21,379 --> 00:30:23,620
- Oh.
- I know.
516
00:30:24,758 --> 00:30:27,241
It hasn't even
been 24 hours yet
517
00:30:27,241 --> 00:30:31,689
and Lily is constantly
mentioning she has no money.
518
00:30:31,689 --> 00:30:36,310
It's a stab in the heart
because she knows that
I can't work while I'm here.
519
00:30:37,448 --> 00:30:41,000
I don't know if she's
just stressed financially,
520
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:46,379
but it's scary
because one of my fears
coming to China,
521
00:30:46,379 --> 00:30:49,172
that she's gonna
keep throwing it
in my face every day.
522
00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:51,172
And it's coming true.
523
00:30:52,896 --> 00:30:54,862
If it's only day one,
524
00:30:54,862 --> 00:30:57,000
what's gonna happen
as time goes on?
525
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,000
I like this
so we will get this.
526
00:32:33,793 --> 00:32:37,137
The best thing,
I'm able to see my family.
527
00:32:37,137 --> 00:32:38,172
Mama!
528
00:32:48,655 --> 00:32:51,000
Everybody worry about me
529
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:55,586
because they still think
that I'm just little.
530
00:35:08,137 --> 00:35:09,413
Um...
531
00:35:46,965 --> 00:35:49,655
I thought when I tell her
about our plan,
532
00:35:49,655 --> 00:35:52,172
it will make her excited.
533
00:35:52,172 --> 00:35:55,931
But now, I worry
if she have a good point.
534
00:35:56,689 --> 00:35:58,689
James don't like
being told what to do
535
00:35:58,689 --> 00:36:01,896
and my dad like
to tell people what to do.
536
00:36:01,896 --> 00:36:04,689
My dad so disciplined
with everything
537
00:36:04,689 --> 00:36:07,689
and then he like
to do things his way.
538
00:36:07,689 --> 00:36:10,379
But, we need
to stay with my parents
539
00:36:10,379 --> 00:36:12,827
because we don't have
so much money right now.
540
00:36:18,965 --> 00:36:22,931
I hope that they will
just get along really well.
541
00:36:26,103 --> 00:36:30,827
Because I just don't want
to go back to the US at all.
542
00:36:35,793 --> 00:36:36,827
You're right.
543
00:36:37,793 --> 00:36:39,551
Maybe she's only in it
544
00:36:39,551 --> 00:36:42,482
because I can
offer her a van life.
545
00:36:42,482 --> 00:36:45,482
All of my fears
and insecurities
are coming up.
546
00:36:45,482 --> 00:36:48,137
I don't know anything
about anything
is what I'm realizing.
547
00:36:48,137 --> 00:36:51,413
I'm hoping I can
not have a panic attack.
548
00:37:14,758 --> 00:37:17,172
I spent last night
at my friend Natali's house
549
00:37:17,172 --> 00:37:19,448
because I gave up
my apartment yesterday.
550
00:37:19,448 --> 00:37:22,896
And today, I'm moving
to another country
551
00:37:22,896 --> 00:37:24,137
or countries.
552
00:37:26,241 --> 00:37:28,586
Uh, I didn't sleep well
last night.
553
00:37:28,689 --> 00:37:30,448
And, um...
554
00:37:30,448 --> 00:37:34,000
I'm not sure I'm happy
about this decision, honestly.
555
00:37:39,379 --> 00:37:42,275
This morning, I woke up
with a panic attack
556
00:37:42,551 --> 00:37:44,172
at 3:00 a.m.
557
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:49,172
It just hit me that
I don't really have
a home to go back to now.
558
00:37:49,172 --> 00:37:50,896
Perfect. Boom!
Plenty of room.
559
00:37:50,896 --> 00:37:52,724
You don't have
to scoot that far up.
560
00:37:54,896 --> 00:37:58,172
All of my fears
and insecurities
are coming up.
561
00:37:58,172 --> 00:38:01,655
Like, I'm going to live
in this tiny space
with this girl
562
00:38:01,655 --> 00:38:05,620
who I've only spent
three weeks with in person.
563
00:38:09,586 --> 00:38:13,551
Are you excited
to see Dempsey
in less than 24 hours?
564
00:38:13,551 --> 00:38:14,931
Right now, I'm not.
565
00:38:15,482 --> 00:38:16,793
Really?
Yeah.
566
00:38:17,482 --> 00:38:21,482
When you gave me that advice
about like weighing
567
00:38:21,482 --> 00:38:24,275
what she's giving me
versus what I'm putting in.
568
00:38:24,275 --> 00:38:25,310
Yeah.
569
00:38:26,344 --> 00:38:27,758
You're right,
570
00:38:27,758 --> 00:38:31,965
in the sense that
I do give up everything
to a person
571
00:38:31,965 --> 00:38:34,689
- to try to keep their love.
- Yeah.
572
00:38:35,275 --> 00:38:37,827
And it's
making me worry.
573
00:38:38,482 --> 00:38:40,275
Maybe she's only in it
574
00:38:40,275 --> 00:38:42,413
because I can
offer her a van life
575
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:43,965
traveling around Europe.
576
00:38:43,965 --> 00:38:45,344
Like, she couldn't
do this on her own.
577
00:38:45,344 --> 00:38:46,896
She couldn't afford this
on her own.
578
00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:48,551
Hmm.
579
00:38:49,275 --> 00:38:52,172
I've been thinking
non-stop about Natali's advice
580
00:38:52,172 --> 00:38:53,862
because I've been
in relationships
581
00:38:53,862 --> 00:38:56,448
where I've been
taken advantage of financially
582
00:38:56,448 --> 00:38:58,172
One example is,
583
00:38:58,172 --> 00:39:01,068
I was renting an apartment
with this girl,
584
00:39:01,068 --> 00:39:04,379
and she told me that the cost
was X amount of dollars
585
00:39:04,379 --> 00:39:08,379
and it turns out
I was basically paying
almost the entire rent.
586
00:39:09,241 --> 00:39:11,172
She got to save money
to buy a house
587
00:39:11,172 --> 00:39:13,379
and I was broke
by the end of it.
588
00:39:14,241 --> 00:39:17,103
I'm hoping I can
not have a panic attack.
589
00:39:17,103 --> 00:39:19,724
Just breathe,
breathe, breathe.
590
00:39:21,758 --> 00:39:23,655
On top of all
of my fears
591
00:39:23,655 --> 00:39:26,379
about my relationship
with Dempsey,
592
00:39:26,379 --> 00:39:31,586
I don't think I'm ready
for leaving my little
hermit cave.
593
00:39:31,586 --> 00:39:35,379
I've traveled to, what,
two countries before this?
594
00:39:35,379 --> 00:39:38,793
I'm not super familiar
with like different cultures.
595
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:41,620
I don't know anything
about anything
is what I'm realizing.
596
00:39:45,379 --> 00:39:47,793
It's time.
- I know you're freaking out
597
00:39:47,793 --> 00:39:49,482
and you're breathing
really hard.
598
00:39:49,482 --> 00:39:52,172
- But, just deep,
deep breaths.
- Yeah.
599
00:39:52,172 --> 00:39:56,448
I'm like 50% that
it's gonna work out,
50% that it's not.
600
00:39:56,448 --> 00:39:58,172
It's just...
601
00:39:58,172 --> 00:40:00,482
Well...
I don't know
where it's gonna land.
602
00:40:00,482 --> 00:40:04,724
I 100% believe
that whatever happens,
you'll hand on your feet.
603
00:40:05,344 --> 00:40:07,000
Natali, stop crying.
604
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,379
I just... I love you.
605
00:40:08,379 --> 00:40:10,482
Appreciate that.
606
00:40:10,482 --> 00:40:13,862
I love you.
I am gonna miss you.
I love you too.
607
00:40:13,862 --> 00:40:18,862
And I feel like
I was very negative
and suspicious yesterday
608
00:40:18,862 --> 00:40:20,000
and I feel like now,
609
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,344
I need to tell you that
it could go amazing.
610
00:40:24,586 --> 00:40:26,620
Not everything goes badly.
611
00:40:27,241 --> 00:40:29,379
You deserve good,
wonderful things
612
00:40:29,379 --> 00:40:33,206
and you deserve good,
wonderful people
in your life.
613
00:40:34,862 --> 00:40:37,206
You're gonna have
the adventure of a lifetime.
614
00:40:37,689 --> 00:40:39,068
You really are.
615
00:40:41,275 --> 00:40:43,689
- I love you.
- I love you too.
616
00:40:43,689 --> 00:40:44,965
I'm taking
a massive risk.
617
00:40:44,965 --> 00:40:47,931
I'm taking the biggest risk
of my entire frigging life.
618
00:40:48,344 --> 00:40:50,034
And if things go bad,
619
00:40:50,034 --> 00:40:53,379
I'm going to have
a [bleep] ton of debt,
620
00:40:53,379 --> 00:40:57,137
no home to go back to
and a severely broken heart.
621
00:40:57,758 --> 00:41:00,793
♪ This is once in a lifetime
622
00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:05,137
♪ Once in a lifetime
623
00:41:05,137 --> 00:41:07,379
But, I'm taking
this risk because
624
00:41:07,379 --> 00:41:12,000
I'm hoping that on
the other side of all this
panic and chaos and anxiety
625
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,482
there's the potential
for a lifetime of love.
626
00:41:15,482 --> 00:41:18,310
The love I've been
searching for my whole life.
627
00:41:26,379 --> 00:41:28,896
Next time on
90 Day Fiance:
The Other Way...
628
00:41:28,896 --> 00:41:31,172
What is she doing?
629
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,379
It tickles a lot.
630
00:41:39,275 --> 00:41:41,379
Ah... Hey, baby!
631
00:41:41,379 --> 00:41:43,275
Hey.
- Ah, good to see you.
632
00:41:43,275 --> 00:41:46,000
- I missed you. How are you?
- Good to see... Really good.
633
00:41:47,344 --> 00:41:49,689
What I expected was a big,
romantic gesture
634
00:41:49,689 --> 00:41:51,862
and then what I got
was kind of like,
635
00:41:51,862 --> 00:41:54,068
how I reckon he probably
kisses his grandma.
636
00:41:55,689 --> 00:41:57,275
I gotta go get on this flight.
637
00:41:57,275 --> 00:41:59,724
I am finally
on my way to Indonesia.
638
00:42:06,655 --> 00:42:10,000
They want
a grandkid so badly.
639
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,068
But now, I don't even know
if James wants a kid.
640
00:42:16,689 --> 00:42:17,793
Some of these women
641
00:42:17,793 --> 00:42:19,896
are reaching out to me
on social media.
642
00:42:19,896 --> 00:42:21,689
No, no, no, no, no.
643
00:42:23,172 --> 00:42:25,379
The fact that Sarper
was so adamant
644
00:42:25,379 --> 00:42:27,862
that he didn't want me
to go meet her,
645
00:42:27,862 --> 00:42:30,517
makes me wanna hear
what she has to say even more.
646
00:42:31,379 --> 00:42:33,896
He said he loved you also?
647
00:42:34,793 --> 00:42:35,896
So, he's a liar.