Previously on 90 Day The Other Way...
Babe, I thought you were gonna move your crap.
I didn't have time.
One of my biggest triggers is when people
don't do the things that they say they're gonna do.
So if it wasn't soft partnering him, I'm thinking,
"Bitch, why wouldn't you move your [bleep] out of my side of the closet?
"It takes two goddamn seconds."
Step aside.
Hello, Pa!
We can't just live at their house and not ever make money.
I had every intention to come here with at least $10,000 in the bank,
but our car, before we left, broke down,
and we ended up getting stuck with an $8,000 bill,
and there's a loan we still have on it.
That's gonna just wipe us out real fast.
That's why we needed to talk about it with my parents.
When do you want to tell them, though?
Probably tonight.
Yay. I'm here.
Great.
Holy [bleep], what have I done?
If this is how she's acting on day one,
I really don't know if we're gonna work.
Cool.
Back to Mom and Dad's house.
Yay!
Hello!
Jump right into it, huh? Okay.
It's my first full day here in Indonesia,
and Tata's dad is gonna be teaching me how to make banana chips.
I hope it goes really well
because I want to be able to show him
he's got a son-in-law who can learn how to do what he needs me to do.
They're made for small hands.
I might just need to wash my hands, guys.
This isn't gonna work.
Tata really wants to tell her parents
that we're moving here after my banana chip lesson.
I would rather wait until I feel secure here,
but we've got bills for the car we're still paying
and we don't have any money coming in.
The money we brought is a lot lower than we thought it was gonna be.
Can you do that, you think?
Oh, yeah.
Okay. - Yeah.
So if we're gonna have that conversation,
I'm like, might as well talk about
if we can make money making banana chips.
Because without being able to do this for a job,
we have no way of making money.
That is a lot.
Too much? - Yeah.
It's, uh, VIP.
VIP.
I'm just so excited to see him excited to learn
'cause he do it with a full heart.
And I think this will make my parents happier
when we tell them we are moving.
I just don't get it why he don't want to tell them
because I know it's gonna be good news for them.
Do race with Mom. - Okay?
Okay. You ready?
Three. - One, two, three.
Four! Go!
Oh, this is sad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
I hate losing. I'm very competitive.
To put it in the bag.
It's not that my hands are too big.
It's that the bags are too small.
Slow.
Yes. Check it.
Checking.
She say it's very good.
Ah, yeah!
For dollar. - $1.
- $2, $3, $4. - $4!
Yes. - $4.
Nice.
It's a cool process,
and clearly it's worked out for him.
But his profit is so minuscule.
If we can't find a way to support ourselves,
I have very big concerns about us being able to stay here in Indonesia.
My name is Sean, I'm 38 years of age.
It's a nice, quiet village,
away from the hustle and bustle.
Come on.
Yeah. I'm not your typical Irish man.
I don't drink alcohol.
♪ Only in New York
♪ Can you find Broadway
♪ See the glimmering lights Shining so bright ♪
♪ Turning night to day
Joey! Yeah.
Come grab this bag for me, please.
Sean loves the way I say "coffee,"
"draw," "mirror," "sauce."
- Where do you want it? - In the living room.
The first time he told me he loved my accent,
I was like, "What accent?"
Because to me, I don't have one.
Jesse, can you come in here and help me sort this laundry?
Sure.
Don't sound so enthusiastic about it.
I'm just talking.
That's another word, "talking."
Yeah, that's a fun one for him.
My name is Joanne, I am 43,
and I'm from Long Island, New York.
Jesse, you want cinnamon buns?
Yeah.
I am a mom of two.
You need help or no? No.
- I'll call you when they're ready. - Okay. Nice.
My older son is 18. His name is Joey.
My 12-year-old is Jesse.
- Mom, is this yours or Joe's? - I think that's mine.
Maybe, I don't know. Ask your brother.
I met my ex-husband when I was 18
and we were married for 11 years.
We just ended up growing apart.
Oh, my coffee. Where's my coffee?
I lose my coffee 100 times a day.
How is it? I didn't burn 'em. For once.
I mean...
- Mom. - All right, that's the pan's fault.
Breakfast isn't my thing.
They were timed to perfection, honestly.
After my divorce, I really didn't want to find love.
Remember the last time you made bacon?
Yeah.
It was the color of that mug.
You... It was not. You're ridiculous.
All of myself was put into my children and my business.
I do not turn the cards over.
I am a natural-born medium,
so I will pull your answers and messages that you need from the other side.
Okay.
I am a psychic medium,
a Reiki healer, and a life coach.
If you're mid-sentence and I cut you off,
it's not me being a rude New Yorker,
it's just the way it comes in, and I spit it right out, okay?
Not in a million years did I think that my business
was going to lead me to Sean, ever.
♪ Everybody wants you now
♪ I guess It just ain't healthy ♪
Sean had found me
through one of my social media handles
and mentioned that he was interested in getting a reading.
♪ Too bad, so good
I could not lock into this man's energy for [bleep],
and I was like, "What is going on here?"
I was freaking out.
And normally, that is my telltale sign of
"This may be a little bit more than you think it is."
The reading basically cut off at a certain time,
and then it just was us talking,
and then we never stopped talking after that.
The more we spoke, the more we realized we had stuff in common.
Some nights went, like, six and a half hours,
and it was mad.
Within three weeks, I was like, "No, this guy is it."
Yeah. I don't know how it's gonna work, but it's gonna work.
I waited about nine months to get up the courage
to be like, "Okay, getting on this plane."
I was never looking to leave
American soil ever in my life.
I've gotten on a plane to go to Florida with family.
That's the furthest I've ever been.
And then, all of a sudden, I'm like,
"Hey, I'm gonna go to Ireland and meet some stranger.
"Bye, guys."
I was just like, "Let's do it. You only live once."
It was just amazing, and I felt so at home.
And then he felt like home.
He cracks me up. He is so funny.
He's a character.
He has a really big heart.
And he's a dad to a little girl,
and it definitely brings out a side of him
that you wouldn't expect this big dude with tattoos.
And, you know, he's good looking.
That helps.
I mean, I'm excited for you guys to come and meet Sean.
This is gonna be interesting 'cause this is the first time
you guys are gonna meet a man that I'm dating.
Other than your father.
How do you feel about that?
I want you to be happy.
Yeah. - That's all I'm concerned about, really.
- Right. - But I definitely want to make sure,
you know, he treats you good.
Yeah.
Me and my brother, in my opinion,
are two of the most important people in my mom's life.
So bringing in another person, I don't know.
I think my mom deserves the absolute best.
I've only spoken to Sean over the phone.
I would hope he's a good guy.
What if me and him don't get along?
Hypothetically speaking,
if you guys were not to get along,
I would never put you in an uncomfortable situation
where it's like, "Oh, I have to deal with them
just because it's my mother's person."
Like, I'm not gonna do that.
All right. Yeah.
This is a significant person in my life.
And you guys are significant,
and your opinion of him matters.
Next week, I'm taking the boys
to go meet Sean for the first time.
And I really hope that they like him
because I want to move to Ireland.
I would love for the boys to move with me,
but I share custody with their dad,
and I would never take them away from him.
So in my head, I'm thinking
I will be spending one month in Ireland
and two weeks in New York.
You guys are very important in any decision
and I understand your concerns,
so you'll have plenty of time to feel about.
I've not told anybody about this move yet because...
I'm scared.
I'm just flat out scared. They're gonna want to kill me.
Like...
If they're not okay with it,
I have to come up with a plan B, which I haven't,
because I'm fully hoping and praying to all the gods
that they will be okay with it.
I guarantee, within the first few minutes of you meeting him,
you'll see.
There have been some times where, like, legitimately,
I wanted to pop the [bleep] off on you,
but I do not,
because I consider myself soft partnering.
That's a mistake.
What the [bleep] is that?
What the hell?
Yeah. Bun Day.
Bun Day. So that's why you smacked my buns.
Yeah.
This is our first morning together,
and it just so happens that today is like a national holiday
called...
It's basically like some old Christian holiday, like leading up to Easter.
Kids would wake their parents up with a wand,
like, spanking them...
Do I "Boll" on you?
- Yeah, you can "Boll" on me, babe. - Okay.
Bolla, bolla, bolla, bolla, bolla.
Yay!
- Iceland's such a weird place. - Yeah, I know.
Go get dressed, babe, and go and get some buns.
All right.
When I got to Iceland yesterday,
Ingi was a little cold with me, a little distant,
but last night he turned up the heat a little bit.
We got to a simmer.
Beautiful, babe.
Thank you.
♪ Let's get some buns
Oh, yeah.
All right, babe.
I can't believe that this is my home now.
Holy [bleep].
Cold one today.
What the [bleep]?
It just feels really good to be with my person.
So like, I'm excited for like, what's to come
and I'm looking forward to it.
Oh, [bleep], he's like torching them.
- Yeah. - That's fancy as [bleep].
Yeah.
That's so good.
- I know. - Bolla!
Okay, so I did get my results for my nursing exam.
- All right, great. - Which is, like, a really big deal
'cause that kind of determines if I can work here,
if I can go to midwifery school,
- if I can do anything. - Yeah.
I took my NCLEX just a couple weeks ago.
That's the test all nurses in the US have to take and pass.
It opens all doors, for me to go to midwifery school,
for me to be a nurse in Iceland.
I have to pass this damn test.
You've got this, babe.
Thank you, baby.
If I didn't pass, then I don't know if I can stay in Iceland.
Yeah, we'll figure that out.
Yeah, like, I'm not joking.
I would have to go back home to the States,
study some more, take the test again.
Eh, figure it out.
- Should we check? - Yeah. Let's check it out.
Dun-dun-dun!
Okay.
Oh, [bleep]!
Your girl passed.
- Oh, you passed, babe. - I passed!
All right. I knew you would.
- Congrats, babe. That's awesome. - Thank you.
Yay!
All right, now that I've passed my test,
I need to get my nursing license here in Iceland,
and I need to get into midwifery school.
Eh, just take it step by step, babe.
I think you've only seen me in, like, vacation mode almost.
You've never seen me, like...
- In work mode? - ...in work mode.
I just, I don't know if I've really, like...
told you, necessarily, like,
how big of a deal all of this is,
like coming here and, like, kind of derailing my plans a little bit.
It's literally, like, the only thing
I've ever wanted in my life is to be a midwife.
I think it was my fourth time applying
that I finally got into Penn.
They only take ten or fifteen
out of probably 10,000 or 15,000.
Damn.
So, like, if I were to talk to myself, like, five years ago to today
and be like, "Oh, you're moving to Iceland
to be with some frickin' white dude,"
I would punch myself in the face fully.
All right.
- No. - No.
Ingi's response says that he doesn't understand
the magnitude of what it means
that I even got accepted into this school at Penn,
let alone gave it up for him.
And granted, I should have been more upfront
and told him what a big deal that is to me.
But also, I wish I didn't have to spell everything out for him
and that some things he would just pick up on his own.
But yeah, I know I, like, downplay a lot of things, I think, like,
"Oh, it's not a big deal. I be making impossible things happen."
But with you, I guess I need to, like,
start breaking down some walls.
I know it's your first relationship
and my first, like, I don't know, person I've actually loved.
I just...
maybe shielded you from a few things...
- All right. All right. - ...so far.
Since me and Ingi have been together,
I have been soft partnering him,
and so a lot of the things that are important to me
or that are pissing me off,
I don't always, like, shove right in his face
because I realize that I'm a lot
and Ingi is just like a little puppy, you know?
And I just, I don't want him to go running for the hills.
There have been some times where, like, legitimately,
I wanted to pop the [bleep] off on you.
Praying mantis bite your head off.
Oh, [bleep].
- Yeah. - Yeah.
But I do not
because I consider myself soft partnering...
- Yeah? - ...in which I'm trying to be a softer version of myself,
- for your benefit and mine. - Oh.
All right.
But it doesn't mean, like, it hasn't been in there,
and that I haven't been triggered.
Hey, if you pop off,
I'm just gonna try to make you laugh.
- That's a mistake. - Eh.
- Okay, you've been warned. - We'll see.
- Yeah. - That's all I can say.
I'm still gonna keep soft partnering the out [bleep] of you.
But I can only hold in so much.
All right.
Hmm.
Corona is telling me that she had been,
like, sheltering me, like, with some soft partnering.
I've always just had the approach of, like,
you know, just try to be, like, as honest as I can.
So, yeah, I'm a little nervous
because I want to know, like, what else is there?
Like, what are you not telling me?
Stop furrowing your brows.
Are you okay?
- I'm okay. - Have I scared you with this conversation?
No, not really.
Not really? So a little bit.
Yeah.
I just want this to work.
- Obviously. - Of course.
Got a lot invested into this.
Yeah.
It's here.
Are you excited?
Yay!
There's Dempsey, just like, "Yay! Van life."
And I'm just, like,
"This small, tiny space is going to be the rest, you know, of my life."
Yeah.
♪ Look at how we started
♪ I'm in trouble
♪ Running in circles
♪ Trouble circle
Earlier today, Statler arrived in the UK,
and even though she's stressed about van life,
I thought that she would still be excited to see me.
This is like a life-changing moment for the both of us.
It should be, like, a nice, happy one,
but instead, it's just, like, flat.
So when's he gonna be here?
In a few minutes, I hope,
'cause it looks like the heavens are gonna open.
- I'm really, really, really, really excited. - That's good.
I know that we had just had the little thingy in the taxi,
when I told you to [bleep] off.
I didn't mean... I didn't mean it.
I'm just, because I'm so excited,
I wanted you to be excited with me.
I know, yeah.
It was a journey,
and it's hard to get off a plane sleep deprived, hungry, moody and...
Yeah.
I literally just spent ten hours of traveling.
I'm exhausted and I'm, you know,
supposed to immediately learn this van
and learn van life
and just become comfortable with it and excited for it.
And I'm not. Like, I'm overwhelmed.
I wish that she could just understand where I'm coming from.
But there's Dempsey, just like, "Yay! Van life!
"Day one! We're getting started. Excitement. Yay!"
And I'm just like...
It's here.
Ooh, it's big.
I'm surprised the tires that small can hold it.
Yay!
Are you excited?
Hi!
Yay! Excited!
Very cool.
Exciting. Thank you.
Wow.
Well, they're quite big.
I feel like your definition of big is very different from mine.
At least we can stand up in it. That's cool.
Wow, this is quite a lot of space in the kitchen.
This is the bathroom.
Shower. Nice.
I'm so excited that the van's finally here
because this has always been a dream of mine.
- It's nice. - Yeah.
I'm hoping that Statler's anxiety starts to fade
and then, in the near future, we can enjoy it.
And if we sit here,
we can get a projector there
- that drops down. - Oh, yeah.
- And watch a movie. - Or we could just watch a mountain or a...
- Ocean. - ...or an ocean.
- Or a lake. - Or a lake.
This is nice. This is very nice. I think I can live here.
Yeah?
Yup.
Finally seeing the van put my doubts to rest.
- I'm happy. Are you? - I'm super happy, yeah.
Yeah, it feels nice.
The buildup is what kind of makes me a negative Nancy.
So once I finally saw it,
it was like, "Okay, now we have a place to stay.
"It looks livable. Things are good."
I'm gonna start with these.
♪ It's okay to turn around
♪ You've got my love
It's what I've been wanting all along.
Just took me a while to get there, but I'm here.
Cheers.
- Ready to rumble? - Ready to rock.
Let's go.
- I'm scared. - I'm just terrified.
Ooh, that has a caution light on.
I am so happy that the van is this nice.
And honestly, I was expecting the worst.
But it's still a big realization
that this small, tiny space
is going to be the rest, you know, of my life.
Yes.
I have been wearing it.
Everyone knows Sean as my boyfriend,
but that's not actually true.
We probably should have told them,
I don't know, a year ago,
- Hey, babe. - What's up, babe?
Well, your haircut looks nice.
Yeah, it always looks nice, doesn't it?
- So? - So?
Coming there soon. Are you ready for me?
- About time. - Have you booked a place for us to stay yet?
With the boys?
Next week, I'm taking the boys over to Ireland
to meet Sean for the first time.
I'm super excited about it.
I think it's gonna go well.
I mean, I'm hopeful that it's gonna go well.
No. You're it, babe.
You're the man.
I have been wearing it.
I wear it now all the time.
Oh, shut up! Look. It's...
Everyone knows Sean as my boyfriend,
but that's not actually true.
Sean and I are actually married,
and we have been for two years.
What do you think they're gonna do when we tell them?
When we were in the moment, we were like,
"Yes, you're my person
and we're doing this,"
and then that was it.
But that was what was cool about it.
Yeah.
My third trip over to Ireland,
Sean and I decided, "Yeah, let's get married."
But we decided not to tell anybody at all.
We decided that this was something
that we were not going to announce until we were ready.
But the more time that passes,
the harder it's getting to tell people.
'Cause now it's like, I look back and I'm like,
"Okay, how the hell am I explaining that I kept this
from my family and my friends for this long?"
I have a question.
How do we bring this up?
Like, do we just...
What do we do? Like, what do we do?
We're just like, "Hey, kids."
No, you're gonna be right there with me.
Yeah.
I know.
We probably should have told them,
I don't know, a year ago,
and then this wouldn't have been such a,
"Oh, by the way," you know?
Here's another thing that I'm thinking.
Because my mother is not coming
and she was supposed to,
as a respect thing, I'm thinking that I should tell her
before I come.
Like, so that she knows before I tell the boys.
Yeah.
Telling my mother I am married,
and didn't tell her about it,
there is no best-case scenario in my head
'cause, I mean, God,
if you ever get the silent treatment from that woman,
you'd understand.
As nerve-wracking as it may be to make these announcements,
I'm just glad to have it off of my chest.
With that being said,
the boys are a big decision-maker here, you know?
I don't know, like, if I could commit to the move
if they don't like you.
It's really important for them
to be 100% all-in with me with you
in order for me to say,
"Okay, we're gonna make this jump,
and I'm gonna go over and move there."
I am a mom first, in everything.
Their needs come before mine.
If my boys do not approve of my move to Ireland,
I'm not gonna be able to move there.
How do we handle that?
We have...
We are still paying for it.
Things have escalated very, very quickly.
I have no idea what's happening anymore.
Can I try it?
Yeah, Pa. Please.
Mm!
Yeah? So delicious!
Let me try, let me try.
We just finished making banana chips.
They are really, really good.
Tastes sweet.
Oh! So, just, chewy in your mouth.
I could eat those all day long.
If we sell this, we can make a lot of money.
But at the same time,
I'm seeing now that it might not be as profitable
as what we need to be making.
Needing $700 a month just to pay our bills back in the US,
and then not even covering our living expenses here,
I'm not sure if we'll be able to do that.
Better you make it even more.
Yeah.
Would you like to start it?
Okay.
I just want to get it off my shoulder,
and I hope that they're so excited and they're so happy.
So we will see what they think.
- Lot of banana chips? Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
So that leads into the question of,
is it something we could do full time
to make enough money to live here?
Because we have a car.
We are still paying for it.
She asked how much is the car?
We still owe $15,000.
...to help you guys maybe pay it off.
I don't want to make life harder for people here.
Don't ever take a loan ever again.
Okay?
I mean, I would say yes,
but sometimes in life, you have to take a loan.
Yeah.
Don't let the bank take control of us.
We need to take control.
You need to help me on this one.
There's things we need to talk about.
Yeah, but I need to translate what you said to them, too.
I know, but at this point, you need to join in the conversation.
This isn't just me.
I understand. But right now...
...that doesn't fix...
...help me here. I need you to...
What did you say?
You got to take control on this one.
I'm trying to.
And I need to think to translate.
You don't have to translate anymore.
Talk to your parents and let them know about...
I was trying to.
Okay, I will stay quiet so you can do that then.
Tata and I have talked in the past
about not wanting her parents to feel responsible for us,
and obviously there's no way
I'm gonna let them pay for our car.
And I'm not sure if she's just not translating what I'm saying.
I just need Tata to really voice
that that's not the reason we're here.
We don't want your money. We won't take your money.
I told you I'd follow your lead.
I need you to be the lead in this, not me.
We had this conversation.
And that's why I don't think we were ready to have this conversation.
Why, in this moment, in front of my parents,
you push me?
Saying, "Well, you need to tell them this. You need to tell them this."
Like, I am doing my very best.
I think that my parents also are so confused why we're fighting
when we give them good news
because they don't know what are we talking about?
And I felt really bad.
Things have escalated very, very quickly.
I have no idea what's happening anymore.
I don't know even why she is so upset right now.
I feel very alone.
God, I'm confused.
Next time on 90 Day Fiancee: The Other Way...
Hello. We're newbies.
It's time to get this life on the road, thing a shot.
Don't know how to let the heat in, the whole system is [bleep].
No! No!
What the hell is this?
I literally almost threw up in my frickin' mouth.
Are you gonna move to Ireland?
What is it you're telling me, Joanne?
Well, we'll be... Well, we're married.
How do you not even tell your mother you're married?
I'm your mother!
It's not fair to me to not know what's going on.
If you think abandoning your husband
in another country is a good idea...