1 00:00:01,896 --> 00:00:03,241 [Sean] Previously on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way... 2 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:16,000 What? That's crazy. 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,586 She brought it to my attention, so now I'm gonna 4 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:21,379 put more energy into it, I guess. 5 00:00:21,379 --> 00:00:22,965 Thank you, honey. 6 00:00:24,517 --> 00:00:26,689 [Meitalia speaking] 7 00:00:26,689 --> 00:00:29,310 [James] I can't give them a great life. 8 00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:32,171 I don't even know if I can take care of us here. 9 00:00:32,171 --> 00:00:34,103 [Meitalia] I still didn't get an answer 10 00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,068 that we can have a kid or not. 11 00:00:36,068 --> 00:00:39,137 I don't want to wait and hope forever. 12 00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:45,379 Did you apply for that midwife school over there? 13 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,620 Not yet, but it's high on the list. 14 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,758 Did I tell a joke? 15 00:00:56,482 --> 00:00:58,793 Now that we are all here together, 16 00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:01,517 we have some news to share with you guys. 17 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 We're married. 18 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,413 [Joey] Are you guys joking? 19 00:01:05,275 --> 00:01:06,413 For two years? 20 00:01:08,172 --> 00:01:10,724 We know it's a shock, so we apologize. 21 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,137 Are we, like, 22 00:01:35,482 --> 00:01:37,172 busting with questions? 23 00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:39,241 -[Jesse] Yes. -[Joanne] Yeah? 24 00:01:40,793 --> 00:01:43,413 I just dropped a bomb on my boys, letting them know that 25 00:01:43,413 --> 00:01:46,448 Sean is not just my boyfriend, but he's my husband. 26 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,172 Of course, they were shocked, 27 00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:51,896 but I can also tell 28 00:01:51,896 --> 00:01:54,517 that there was more to their emotions 29 00:01:54,517 --> 00:01:57,931 than what they first reacted. 30 00:01:57,931 --> 00:02:00,068 Let's park in here and get out of the rain 31 00:02:00,482 --> 00:02:02,172 and, uh, we'll talk. 32 00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:04,793 Definitely important for me to give the boys 33 00:02:04,793 --> 00:02:06,206 an opportunity to speak 34 00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:08,620 without Sean being there. 35 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,172 And let them get out whatever it is 36 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,172 that they're feeling, that they may be embarrassed 37 00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:14,413 to share in front of others. 38 00:02:16,586 --> 00:02:19,551 So, uh, what'd you think of our news? 39 00:02:20,793 --> 00:02:22,379 [scoffs] Surprising. 40 00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:23,379 Confusing. 41 00:02:23,379 --> 00:02:24,931 It's been two years. 42 00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:27,965 [Joey] Yeah, why won't you tell us in the beginning? 43 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,827 [Joanne] I should have told you sooner, okay? 44 00:02:31,827 --> 00:02:33,896 I think I was waiting for the perfect moment, 45 00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:35,620 so that was on me. 46 00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:38,586 And then the more time that passed, 47 00:02:38,586 --> 00:02:40,724 the harder it got to tell you guys. 48 00:02:41,517 --> 00:02:44,206 I also wanted you guys to have met him first, 49 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,241 in person, before. 50 00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:51,482 -You're just... -[Joey] Yeah. 51 00:02:51,482 --> 00:02:53,379 -overwhelmed with the... -Yeah. 52 00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,103 -[Joanne] ...info? Okay. -Yeah. 53 00:02:55,482 --> 00:02:56,620 You too, Jess? 54 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,103 Yeah? 55 00:02:59,103 --> 00:03:00,344 I get it. 56 00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:04,448 I've seen the hurt in his eyes. 57 00:03:04,827 --> 00:03:06,379 Even though he didn't 58 00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:08,793 necessarily want to admit that to me, 59 00:03:08,793 --> 00:03:11,310 I'm their mother. And I'm 60 00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:13,931 the reason that they're hurt. 61 00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:15,931 Should have told them sooner. 62 00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:18,896 [Joey] Is the ring you have on 63 00:03:18,896 --> 00:03:20,896 -the ring he gave you? -[Joanne] Yeah. 64 00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,827 It was really just something for us. 65 00:03:23,827 --> 00:03:24,896 Nobody was there. 66 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:26,068 No family members. 67 00:03:26,068 --> 00:03:28,758 We had two strangers witness. 68 00:03:29,172 --> 00:03:30,724 [Joey] All right. Well... 69 00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:32,482 Wait. So, Mom, it... 70 00:03:32,482 --> 00:03:35,724 -Now since you're married to Sean... -Yeah. 71 00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,413 ...where are we living now? 72 00:03:37,413 --> 00:03:39,172 [Joanne] You know, I don't know what that looks like, 73 00:03:39,172 --> 00:03:41,000 but I'm hoping that, 74 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,241 um... 75 00:03:43,482 --> 00:03:45,793 I would make Ireland home base 76 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:46,724 and then 77 00:03:46,724 --> 00:03:50,344 come back to the United States 78 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,482 every so many weeks. 79 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,000 You know, I would love for you guys 80 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,586 to be able to come here. 81 00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:58,275 So you're saying we would move here too? 82 00:03:58,275 --> 00:03:59,655 [Joanne] If you wanted to. 83 00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:02,103 But that's a conversation I need to have with your father. 84 00:04:04,793 --> 00:04:07,241 I mean, yeah. It's... [scoffs] 85 00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:10,000 I don't know. 86 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,689 -Say... -[Joanne] Mm-hmm. 87 00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:16,481 ...we don't want to come here... 88 00:04:16,481 --> 00:04:17,413 -[Joanne] Yeah. -...live here... 89 00:04:17,413 --> 00:04:19,000 -[Joanne] Yeah. -...with you and Sean... 90 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,481 -[Joanne] Mm-hmm. -...where would we stay in New York? 91 00:04:21,481 --> 00:04:24,103 I mean, I'm still gonna have a home in New York for you guys. 92 00:04:24,103 --> 00:04:27,000 Like, I'm not gonna not have a home there. 93 00:04:27,275 --> 00:04:28,620 That's, 94 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:30,689 you know, that's your home. 95 00:04:30,689 --> 00:04:33,172 I'll definitely be home 96 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,172 with you guys, 97 00:04:34,172 --> 00:04:36,482 at least two to three weeks, 98 00:04:36,482 --> 00:04:38,379 and, you know, 99 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,758 a little workings maybe with, uh, 100 00:04:41,413 --> 00:04:42,517 some grandparents 101 00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:45,793 and good old dad of yours 102 00:04:45,793 --> 00:04:49,000 so we can figure out the calendar schedule, 103 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,724 and then we can take it from there. 104 00:04:52,689 --> 00:04:54,620 I mean, obviously, there's a lot to digest 105 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:55,896 and a lot to swallow, 106 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,172 but, you know, you guys are 107 00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:00,931 more important to me than anything. 108 00:05:01,793 --> 00:05:03,724 I want this to be home base. 109 00:05:04,793 --> 00:05:07,724 But I'm not gonna do that without your blessing. 110 00:05:10,206 --> 00:05:13,206 I think I'm gonna speak for both of us on this one. 111 00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:14,275 [Joanne] Uh-huh. 112 00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:16,379 Just need time to sit on it. 113 00:05:16,379 --> 00:05:17,931 -That's fair. -[Joey] Think about it a little more. 114 00:05:17,931 --> 00:05:18,965 -That's fair. -[Joey] I mean, 115 00:05:19,931 --> 00:05:22,172 took a lot of information in today, so... 116 00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:24,379 -[Joanne] I get it. -...I think we just need some time to sit. 117 00:05:24,379 --> 00:05:25,758 -[Joanne] Yeah? -[both] Yeah. 118 00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:27,241 I respect that. 119 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,000 It was a bit naive of me 120 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,379 to think that 121 00:05:35,379 --> 00:05:38,000 they would be happy and jumping for joy. 122 00:05:38,689 --> 00:05:40,379 I just dumped, like, 123 00:05:40,379 --> 00:05:43,275 a world of worry onto my kids' shoulders, 124 00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:46,448 and the last thing I want to do is hurt my kids. 125 00:05:48,068 --> 00:05:50,689 It's not black and white. It's not written in stone yet, 126 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,931 and your opinion matters to me, 127 00:05:52,931 --> 00:05:54,413 your feelings matter. 128 00:05:54,413 --> 00:05:56,965 And I will not abandon my kids. 129 00:05:57,689 --> 00:05:58,724 Yeah. 130 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,000 Yeah. 131 00:06:24,586 --> 00:06:26,482 Do you think we have everything we need? 132 00:06:26,482 --> 00:06:28,275 -I hope so. -Yeah. 133 00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:31,206 -Here we go. Instagram. -[James] Hey. 134 00:06:31,206 --> 00:06:33,896 [Meitalia] James has been living in Indonesia for a week, 135 00:06:33,896 --> 00:06:37,379 and today we are going to the immigration, 136 00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:39,724 'cause he needs a visa to live here. 137 00:06:41,413 --> 00:06:43,724 I kind of like, like, the hustle and bustle 138 00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:45,793 -and the craziness of everything here. -Yeah? 139 00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,517 [James] But at the same time, like, 140 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,137 relaxed. 141 00:06:49,413 --> 00:06:51,379 Like, crazy chill. 142 00:06:51,379 --> 00:06:53,000 [bus horn honking] 143 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,241 [James] What the heck was that? 144 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,275 Oh, that was different, all right. 145 00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:04,344 -I was not ready for that. -[chuckles] 146 00:07:05,172 --> 00:07:07,206 After me and James 147 00:07:07,206 --> 00:07:09,379 have a conversation about having kids, 148 00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,586 it's really weighed on me. 149 00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:12,655 But I've been trying to 150 00:07:12,655 --> 00:07:15,379 hide my emotion, because I don't want to fight. 151 00:07:15,379 --> 00:07:17,517 I just want him to be happy here, 152 00:07:17,517 --> 00:07:20,103 but it's really hard for me to hold it in. 153 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,896 [James] I'm excited to get a visa, 154 00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:23,931 to actually have it. 155 00:07:23,931 --> 00:07:24,896 [Meitalia speaking] 156 00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:26,482 Um, I guess the only thing 157 00:07:26,482 --> 00:07:28,620 I'm nervous about long term is, 158 00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:31,034 what can we do to make money? 159 00:07:31,896 --> 00:07:34,827 The banana chip business is, uh, 160 00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:36,758 it's interesting, 161 00:07:36,758 --> 00:07:39,241 but I don't think we're gonna be able to make any money on that. 162 00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:43,103 Since my banana chip lesson last week, 163 00:07:43,103 --> 00:07:45,793 I've learned a lot about the banana chip industry. 164 00:07:45,793 --> 00:07:47,620 And me and Tatha have both agreed that 165 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,793 I cannot work for the family business. 166 00:07:49,793 --> 00:07:51,137 That doesn't mean I don't want to help them. 167 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,379 It just means that I need to be able to provide for us. 168 00:07:55,379 --> 00:07:58,275 We had a jewelry business back in the States, 169 00:07:58,275 --> 00:08:00,275 and that's something that I would really like to 170 00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:02,413 try to start over here if we could. 171 00:08:02,413 --> 00:08:04,517 I want us to be making our own way, 172 00:08:04,896 --> 00:08:06,275 you know, for us, 173 00:08:06,275 --> 00:08:08,137 for our future, for our family. 174 00:08:09,379 --> 00:08:10,586 I mean, we gotta figure out 175 00:08:10,586 --> 00:08:12,689 what we're doing about Jojo as well. 176 00:08:12,689 --> 00:08:13,620 Like, that's a big one, 177 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,172 'cause, I mean, I don't know about you, 178 00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:16,931 but I've been missing him like crazy. 179 00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:19,896 [Meitalia speaking] 180 00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:26,793 [James] I did tell Tatha before she left for Indonesia 181 00:08:26,793 --> 00:08:29,482 that Jojo was not gonna be able to come 182 00:08:29,482 --> 00:08:31,931 at least for now, because there is 183 00:08:31,931 --> 00:08:34,000 a rabies outbreak across the country, 184 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:38,206 and they have banned the immigration of animals. 185 00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:40,586 Since me and Tatha had the conversation, 186 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,931 I have found out more info, 187 00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,586 and I know it's something 188 00:08:44,586 --> 00:08:46,827 that I need to let Tatha know about. 189 00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:54,482 But now, the other thing with it as well is, 190 00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:57,379 even if we brought him here somehow, 191 00:08:57,379 --> 00:09:00,068 he would never be allowed to go back into the U.S. currently. 192 00:09:01,896 --> 00:09:03,896 So, if we can't get 193 00:09:03,896 --> 00:09:06,172 a life situated over here, 194 00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:08,413 if we can't find a way to support ourselves, 195 00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:11,000 then we would be permanently separated from him. 196 00:09:13,482 --> 00:09:14,379 [sniffles] 197 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:17,034 Can we at least visit him? 198 00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:21,862 Financially, we can't afford that at all. 199 00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:24,275 We have no income, 200 00:09:24,275 --> 00:09:27,103 and we still have the car that's not selling. 201 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,413 I just want to see him and hold him. 202 00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:34,724 [James] He's our baby. 203 00:09:38,689 --> 00:09:40,275 [Meitalia] I wish we can figure out 204 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,724 how to make Jojo be here. 205 00:09:43,896 --> 00:09:46,620 I don't have a kid, and I also don't have Jojo, 206 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,241 what do I have? 207 00:09:49,896 --> 00:09:51,275 It just feels empty. 208 00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:55,379 [James] You know if it was possible to bring him here, 209 00:09:55,379 --> 00:09:56,620 well, I'd have already done it. 210 00:10:03,827 --> 00:10:05,482 [James speaking] 211 00:10:05,482 --> 00:10:06,931 [sniffles] 212 00:10:10,172 --> 00:10:11,620 [sniffles] 213 00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:15,724 I love being Jojo's dad. 214 00:10:16,103 --> 00:10:17,724 He is a ball of love, 215 00:10:17,724 --> 00:10:20,931 just a little light in the world. 216 00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:22,275 And we definitely became 217 00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:24,827 -a pretty solid family. -Yeah. 218 00:10:24,827 --> 00:10:27,896 [James] But until our little family is back together 219 00:10:27,896 --> 00:10:29,000 as a whole, 220 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,241 I feel like if I was a dad, I'm failing. 221 00:10:33,724 --> 00:10:35,275 I have abandoned 222 00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:37,689 our child back in the States right now. 223 00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:40,137 And if I can't even take care of a dog, 224 00:10:40,827 --> 00:10:42,655 how can I expect to take care of a human? 225 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,620 I'm gonna type in the address. 226 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,000 It's a surprise. 227 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,586 I came all the way to China to be with her. 228 00:11:05,586 --> 00:11:08,103 And I'm not giving up on this relationship. 229 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,551 This is something special just for you. 230 00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,206 [Corona] Today, I'm meeting up with 231 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,793 a social media group of Black Icelanders. 232 00:11:15,793 --> 00:11:18,689 Either you're completely noticed 233 00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:20,689 or completely avoided. 234 00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:22,103 But the kids will just go up and be like, 235 00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:24,103 "Why is your skin brown?" 236 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,517 Does Hangzhou ever get sunlight? 237 00:11:53,068 --> 00:11:54,310 It's always cloudy. 238 00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:55,517 -[Lily] Yes. -[Josh chuckles] 239 00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:56,724 [Lily] Always cloudy. 240 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,000 Doesn't bother me. 241 00:12:07,172 --> 00:12:08,103 No. 242 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,896 Lily and I are 243 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,482 definitely stuck in this 244 00:12:11,482 --> 00:12:12,896 reoccurring argument 245 00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:14,793 and feelings of 246 00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:18,275 pain or feeling unloved. 247 00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:21,310 But I came all the way to China to be with her. 248 00:12:21,310 --> 00:12:23,931 And I'm not giving up on this relationship. 249 00:12:25,896 --> 00:12:28,000 I'm gonna type in the address. 250 00:12:28,275 --> 00:12:29,793 It's a surprise. 251 00:12:29,793 --> 00:12:31,310 So you just drive there. 252 00:12:32,689 --> 00:12:34,068 -[Josh] Yeah. -Oh. 253 00:12:34,068 --> 00:12:36,413 This is something special just for you. 254 00:12:38,275 --> 00:12:40,275 No guesses. Don't guess. 255 00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:42,896 Lily has made it really clear to me that 256 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,000 she needs to feel I love her. 257 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,137 I thought moving across the world would show her that. 258 00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:50,413 But she needs more gestures 259 00:12:50,413 --> 00:12:52,517 in our daily life. 260 00:12:52,517 --> 00:12:55,827 So today, I planned something special for her. 261 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,896 Beautiful. Oh. 262 00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:05,344 [in Mandarin] 263 00:13:05,344 --> 00:13:07,103 [woman, in English] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 264 00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:09,793 I'm Rose, and welcome to my studio. 265 00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:12,896 -And are you the one that will be teaching us? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 266 00:13:12,896 --> 00:13:16,206 [Josh] I wanted to bring you here to dance. 267 00:13:16,206 --> 00:13:18,793 'Cause I don't know how to dance, I never dance. 268 00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,103 But I figured it would be special 269 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,517 learning with you. 270 00:13:21,896 --> 00:13:22,896 Okay, let's go for it. 271 00:13:22,896 --> 00:13:24,344 -Okay. -Okay. 272 00:13:24,689 --> 00:13:26,379 Let's go together. 273 00:13:26,379 --> 00:13:28,931 We need to change our clothes. 274 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,172 [in Mandarin] 275 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,310 [Rose, in Mandarin] 276 00:13:47,862 --> 00:13:49,517 [in English] 277 00:13:49,517 --> 00:13:51,172 -[in English] I think I did this right. -[Lily exclaims] 278 00:13:51,172 --> 00:13:53,000 -[Rose, in English] Wow. -[Lily exclaims] 279 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,103 -I know, right? -[Lily speaking] 280 00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:55,517 -It's amazing. -[Rose laughs] 281 00:13:55,517 --> 00:13:56,620 [Lily] Who are you? 282 00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:57,758 You look amazing. 283 00:13:58,482 --> 00:14:00,206 Now, you are going to learn 284 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:03,206 a Chinese traditional dance. 285 00:14:03,206 --> 00:14:04,793 Make a circle like this. 286 00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:07,000 One, two, three, four. 287 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,000 Two, two, three, four. The two, two, three, four is very important. 288 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,275 You need to hold your wife like this. 289 00:14:13,275 --> 00:14:15,931 Two, two, three, four. Like this. 290 00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:17,379 -[Lily, in Mandarin] -[in English] Can you... 291 00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:18,586 -Two, two, three, four. -[Rose] Yeah. 292 00:14:18,586 --> 00:14:20,896 -Okay. -[Rose] We can try first. 293 00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:21,862 Go. 294 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,862 One, two, three, four. 295 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,689 Go, go, go. Five, six, seven, eight. 296 00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:27,172 Go. Fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 297 00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:29,000 Two, two, three, four. 298 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,793 Five, six, seven. Yes. 299 00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:32,275 Great. I like this. 300 00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:36,137 [Lily, in English] 301 00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:41,620 Ready? Go. 302 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,172 One, two, three, four. 303 00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:46,413 Five, six, seven, eight. 304 00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:48,482 Two, two, three, four. Arms. 305 00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:51,793 Five, six, seven, eight. Yeah. Good. 306 00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:52,827 [Lily] Yes. 307 00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:54,448 I love you. 308 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,793 -Love you. -You're so pretty. 309 00:14:56,793 --> 00:14:58,931 -Oh, you are handsome. -[Josh] Ah. 310 00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:01,206 Tonight was a special moment for us. 311 00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:04,379 I think this is the exact kind of reset we needed 312 00:15:04,379 --> 00:15:06,413 before our wedding ceremony. 313 00:15:06,413 --> 00:15:08,275 Wow. So romantic. 314 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,310 Yeah, yeah. 315 00:15:11,275 --> 00:15:12,793 My pleasure. 316 00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,275 [Josh] I'm really hoping that we could just put 317 00:15:14,275 --> 00:15:16,482 all our arguing behind us, 318 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,517 because Lily's family 319 00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:21,793 is coming to attend the wedding ceremony. 320 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:24,379 And I want them to see that we're truly happy. 321 00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:26,482 I don't want anyone to ever worry about 322 00:15:26,482 --> 00:15:28,379 my relationship with Lily. 323 00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:30,793 -That was so much fun. -Love you. 324 00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:32,103 I love you. 325 00:15:37,413 --> 00:15:38,827 [ducks quacking] 326 00:15:58,379 --> 00:15:59,758 [Ingi speaking] 327 00:16:00,689 --> 00:16:02,413 -[groans] -[laughs] 328 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:04,931 [growls] 329 00:16:05,689 --> 00:16:07,482 [continues growling] 330 00:16:07,482 --> 00:16:09,379 [both laugh] 331 00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:11,241 -[Corona] Oh, man. -[Ingi] Ah. 332 00:16:12,482 --> 00:16:14,068 [Ingi speaking] 333 00:16:14,068 --> 00:16:16,172 [Corona speaking] 334 00:16:16,172 --> 00:16:18,275 But I'm glad that this is happening. 335 00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:20,517 That I'm getting to meet the, like, 336 00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:22,413 Black people of Iceland group. 337 00:16:22,413 --> 00:16:24,655 -Yeah. -Some camaraderie, 338 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,620 some of my people. 339 00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:29,000 Today I'm meeting up with 340 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,482 a social media group of Black Icelanders 341 00:16:31,482 --> 00:16:34,275 who have meet-ups every month or so. 342 00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:37,275 Get the lowdown on how they feel 343 00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:39,068 about being Black living in Iceland. 344 00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,000 [Ingi] Yeah. 345 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,172 [Corona] What I'm getting myself into. 346 00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:44,413 So far I've only been able to talk about it with, like, 347 00:16:45,103 --> 00:16:47,620 no offense, but a bunch of white people. 348 00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:50,275 Even though, like, I love Ingi, 349 00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:51,896 he can't meet all my needs 350 00:16:51,896 --> 00:16:54,620 and he'll never know what it's like to be Black in Iceland. 351 00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:55,689 So this will 352 00:16:55,689 --> 00:16:58,103 help Iceland start to feel like home. 353 00:16:58,103 --> 00:17:00,000 I'd like to get the perspective from 354 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,103 some of my people who understand this quite 355 00:17:03,758 --> 00:17:04,792 unique experience 356 00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:06,550 of being Black... 357 00:17:08,275 --> 00:17:09,827 Yeah. Of course, babe. 358 00:17:11,205 --> 00:17:15,103 I'm really glad that Corona found this group online. 359 00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:16,482 Hopefully, you know, she will get 360 00:17:16,482 --> 00:17:19,137 a better feeling for what she could expect here. 361 00:17:19,586 --> 00:17:21,000 I mean, there are 362 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,378 people everywhere with [bleep] opinions, 363 00:17:23,378 --> 00:17:25,689 but, like, my family, my friends, 364 00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:26,931 uh, you know, 365 00:17:26,931 --> 00:17:29,206 no one cares that Corona is Black. 366 00:17:29,206 --> 00:17:31,793 The only thing that matters is Corona is a really good person 367 00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:33,413 and she makes me happy. 368 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,103 All right, babe. 369 00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:36,724 I hope it just goes super well. 370 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,517 I hope so too. 371 00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:40,000 -All right, babe. Love you. -[Corona] Love you. 372 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,517 -[Ingi] Bye. -Bye. 373 00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:47,482 [Corona] The Black Icelanders that I'm meeting 374 00:17:47,482 --> 00:17:49,379 are also transplants who came here 375 00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:51,896 and assimilated to the culture. 376 00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,034 So it gives me hope that, like, I can do that too. 377 00:17:54,689 --> 00:17:55,827 -Yeah. -[woman] Yeah, yeah. 378 00:17:57,413 --> 00:17:58,862 -Hello. -I'm Corona. 379 00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:00,413 Hi. Santi? 380 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,689 -[both] Yes. -[Corona] Hello. 381 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,793 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 382 00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:04,655 Hello. I'm Corona. 383 00:18:05,103 --> 00:18:06,931 -How are you guys? -Good. 384 00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:08,137 Surviving the cold? 385 00:18:08,896 --> 00:18:10,275 No, it's normal now. 386 00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:11,793 -[Corona] This is normal? -Yes. 387 00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,413 There's gonna be an adjustment period. 388 00:18:13,413 --> 00:18:14,517 -Yes. -[man] Yes. 389 00:18:15,103 --> 00:18:17,620 So what brings you to Iceland? 390 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:19,172 -My boyfriend, my partner... -[man] See? 391 00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:20,310 -What did I tell you? -...lives here. 392 00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:21,620 [Asantewa] We had a discussion about 393 00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:25,482 how do the majority of foreigners get to Iceland? 394 00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:27,379 -For love. -And yeah. 395 00:18:27,379 --> 00:18:29,275 [Jeff] I lived in Villingaholt, 396 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,206 countryside, 397 00:18:30,206 --> 00:18:32,379 -and for eight years... -[Corona] Okay. 398 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:33,793 ...with my ex, 399 00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:35,379 -who's Icelandic. -Is she Icelandic? Okay. 400 00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:37,896 -Which is why I came. -[Corona] Ah. 401 00:18:37,896 --> 00:18:39,000 -Ah. -[Jeff] There you go. 402 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,172 -See? -Okay. 403 00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:41,413 You came for love. 404 00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:42,413 Came for love. 405 00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,862 How long have you been here? 406 00:18:43,862 --> 00:18:45,448 [Alice] I've been here for 407 00:18:46,103 --> 00:18:48,172 30 plus years. 408 00:18:48,172 --> 00:18:50,000 -[Corona] Okay. -I'm going into my 31st year. 409 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000 [Corona] Seasoned. 410 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,103 Very. 411 00:18:52,103 --> 00:18:55,137 And I just made sure to 412 00:18:55,689 --> 00:18:57,482 immediately learn the language. 413 00:18:57,482 --> 00:19:00,206 [Corona] Definitely the hardest language I've ever tried to learn by far. 414 00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,482 How did you learn? Did you take classes or... 415 00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:04,586 [Alice] Um, I took a class 416 00:19:04,586 --> 00:19:06,689 and then talked to little kids. 417 00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:08,103 -Yeah. -[Alice] They repeat 418 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:09,896 the same thing over and over 419 00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:12,689 until it's kind of like stuck in their head. 420 00:19:12,689 --> 00:19:14,586 See, I love kids in Iceland 421 00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:17,172 because they are filter-less. 422 00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:19,896 -Yes. -[Jeff] Whereas the adults, 423 00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:22,000 you could tell, behind their eyes, 424 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,517 there are, like, questions. 425 00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:26,000 -[Corona] Yes. -You know? But the kids will just go up and be like... 426 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,689 -"Hey, what's up?" -[Jeff] Yeah, like, 427 00:19:27,689 --> 00:19:29,000 "Why is your hair like that?" 428 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,689 -[Corona] Yeah. [laughs] -Like... [chuckles] 429 00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:32,206 "Why is your skin brown?" 430 00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:33,896 -You know? -Yeah. "What's going on here?" 431 00:19:33,896 --> 00:19:34,965 "You know how to rap?" I'm like, "No." 432 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,793 -Like, everything-- -"Do you know how to rap?" 433 00:19:36,793 --> 00:19:38,379 [women laughing] 434 00:19:38,379 --> 00:19:40,482 [Jeff] I've gone into places... I don't know 435 00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:42,275 if we have this experience, 436 00:19:42,275 --> 00:19:44,793 where you walk in and it's either you're 437 00:19:44,793 --> 00:19:46,482 completely noticed 438 00:19:46,482 --> 00:19:48,000 or completely avoided. 439 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,241 -[Corona] Yeah. -I get this. 440 00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:50,862 A lot. 441 00:19:50,862 --> 00:19:51,758 -Aw. -[Jeff] Okay. 442 00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,413 -[Alice shushes] -It's weird. 443 00:19:53,413 --> 00:19:54,689 -[whispers] It's not like that. -It's weird. 444 00:19:54,689 --> 00:19:57,689 [laughs] I don't find that at all. 445 00:19:57,689 --> 00:20:00,482 -Okay. -I feel like maybe as a woman it can be different. 446 00:20:00,482 --> 00:20:02,482 -Yeah. Yeah. -[Asantewa] It's really 447 00:20:02,482 --> 00:20:04,517 rare that I have that experience. 448 00:20:04,517 --> 00:20:06,517 And if I do, like, people are like, 449 00:20:06,517 --> 00:20:09,413 "No, this person is just that way. Like, no one likes them." 450 00:20:10,379 --> 00:20:12,206 [Jeff] It can feel 451 00:20:12,206 --> 00:20:14,517 as if you're an outsider. 452 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,620 So the challenge 453 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,689 for Corona to be successful in Iceland is 454 00:20:19,689 --> 00:20:21,620 getting to know people and getting 455 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,413 involved in the culture and learn the language. 456 00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:28,482 So are you gonna start a nursing job here? 457 00:20:28,482 --> 00:20:30,172 [Corona] I want to be a midwife. 458 00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:32,793 So I was supposed to start midwifery school in the States, 459 00:20:32,793 --> 00:20:34,413 but I decided to 460 00:20:34,413 --> 00:20:36,000 derail my plans a little bit 461 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,896 to move here to be with my person. 462 00:20:37,896 --> 00:20:39,241 -Yeah. -Um, 463 00:20:39,241 --> 00:20:41,896 but in the hopes that I can still start midwifery school here. 464 00:20:41,896 --> 00:20:43,000 So that's the plan. 465 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,172 So have you looked into, basically, 466 00:20:45,172 --> 00:20:47,793 all that entails to now moving here? 467 00:20:47,793 --> 00:20:50,586 Honestly, I should have looked harder at everything that I need to do, 468 00:20:50,586 --> 00:20:52,172 but sometimes you get blinded by love. 469 00:20:52,172 --> 00:20:54,172 But now I'm here, so I need to start figuring it out. 470 00:20:54,172 --> 00:20:55,482 [laughs] Yeah. 471 00:20:55,482 --> 00:20:57,000 I mean, usually people that come here, 472 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,172 if they come to work as a nurse, 473 00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:00,586 they do a lot of stuff beforehand 474 00:21:00,586 --> 00:21:03,000 so that when they come, they just work. 475 00:21:04,793 --> 00:21:06,068 But as far as I know, like, 476 00:21:06,068 --> 00:21:09,137 it will take you some time to get certified to work here. 477 00:21:09,586 --> 00:21:12,000 How long do you think? 478 00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:15,000 It depends. 479 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,379 It basically depends on how much trouble they would like to give you. 480 00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:19,000 But I mean, being a nurse 481 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:19,896 -is very important to me. -Mm-hmm. 482 00:21:19,896 --> 00:21:21,586 -Of course. -And, like, my resumes, 483 00:21:21,586 --> 00:21:23,413 like, really speaks for itself. 484 00:21:23,413 --> 00:21:26,206 Sometimes people can be threatened 485 00:21:26,206 --> 00:21:27,896 if you're coming from the States 486 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:30,379 and you have an impressive resume. 487 00:21:30,379 --> 00:21:33,724 You're coming into almost a closed system. 488 00:21:34,103 --> 00:21:35,241 I mean, I've been 489 00:21:35,241 --> 00:21:37,517 passed over for jobs for people who are related. 490 00:21:38,068 --> 00:21:39,034 So, I mean, 491 00:21:39,034 --> 00:21:41,000 you probably want to prepare yourself 492 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,310 just mentally, like, 493 00:21:42,310 --> 00:21:44,689 you might be hit with that wall of 494 00:21:44,689 --> 00:21:47,172 you have to then prove certain things, 495 00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:49,586 especially with the Icelandic. They... 496 00:21:49,586 --> 00:21:51,482 If you're going into the hospital, I'll tell you right now, 497 00:21:51,482 --> 00:21:53,103 if you 498 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:56,448 do not have a good bite on the language, 499 00:21:57,413 --> 00:22:00,517 I'm not sure that 500 00:22:00,517 --> 00:22:03,689 they'll receive your qualifications as well. 501 00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:05,172 That sucks. 502 00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:09,517 Going to, like, an Ivy League school, I would have never thought 503 00:22:09,517 --> 00:22:12,000 that my degree would be challenged in any way. 504 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,586 So now to hear from this group 505 00:22:14,586 --> 00:22:17,413 how difficult it's gonna be makes me very nervous. 506 00:22:17,758 --> 00:22:18,827 Being a midwife is 507 00:22:18,827 --> 00:22:20,620 very obviously the most important thing to me. 508 00:22:20,620 --> 00:22:23,379 I need to figure that out sooner than later, 509 00:22:23,379 --> 00:22:26,655 because I'm making this humongous gamble with my life. 510 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,793 How do you think this is gonna work out? 511 00:22:30,793 --> 00:22:33,000 I know I've derailed my plans a bit, but I'm 512 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,896 -hoping it's a few months off track. -[Asantewa] Mm-hmm. 513 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,551 Any more than that, then... 514 00:22:38,172 --> 00:22:40,551 [sighs] Maybe I've made a mistake. 515 00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:52,517 They're just hurt and concerned. 516 00:22:52,517 --> 00:22:54,862 Now that Noelle knows the news, 517 00:22:54,862 --> 00:22:56,275 she wants to kill me right now. 518 00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,206 She didn't tell anybody. And it's like, 519 00:22:58,206 --> 00:23:00,689 now she's saying she's moving here. 520 00:23:00,689 --> 00:23:02,206 [Donna] I'm not on board with supporting 521 00:23:02,206 --> 00:23:05,000 moving to Ireland. Those are my grandkids. 522 00:23:19,275 --> 00:23:20,862 [Sean speaking] 523 00:23:20,862 --> 00:23:22,862 [Bella speaking] 524 00:23:22,862 --> 00:23:24,724 -[Sean] It's all right. -[Bella] Oh! 525 00:23:25,793 --> 00:23:27,344 Ew! Ew! 526 00:23:27,344 --> 00:23:30,482 [Sean] Ugh. Oh, sludge. 527 00:23:31,172 --> 00:23:34,000 [Sean speaking] 528 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:51,172 Let's go. 529 00:23:51,172 --> 00:23:52,482 I, honestly, I need to go home 530 00:23:52,482 --> 00:23:53,689 and get a pot of coffee and Tylenol. 531 00:23:53,689 --> 00:23:55,172 -[Noelle] I need a coffee myself. -[Sean] Oh, my God, 532 00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:56,551 I need a goddamn tea. 533 00:23:56,551 --> 00:23:58,172 -[Joanne] I need coffee. -[Noelle] Not gonna lie, I need a coffee. 534 00:23:58,172 --> 00:23:59,931 [Joanne] Do you need coffee too? 535 00:24:05,586 --> 00:24:06,689 [giggles] 536 00:24:13,241 --> 00:24:14,896 -[Bella] Yeah. -If you think about it. 537 00:24:14,896 --> 00:24:15,793 Yeah. 538 00:24:15,793 --> 00:24:17,103 [Joey] Oh, yeah. 539 00:24:17,103 --> 00:24:18,655 Sean's my step-dad. 540 00:24:18,655 --> 00:24:20,620 -[Jesse] Oh, my... -[Joey] Oh [bleep]. 541 00:24:23,275 --> 00:24:24,310 You don't have to, you know, 542 00:24:24,310 --> 00:24:26,413 you don't have to say step-daddy. [laughs] 543 00:24:32,689 --> 00:24:34,896 [Joanne] In the car, the boys and Sean are cracking jokes, 544 00:24:34,896 --> 00:24:36,965 which is nice. 545 00:24:36,965 --> 00:24:39,896 But now that Noelle knows the news, 546 00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:42,206 I'm sure she wants to kill me right now. 547 00:24:43,586 --> 00:24:44,896 If I know my mother 548 00:24:44,896 --> 00:24:47,068 and Noelle well enough, 549 00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:48,862 as I know I do, 550 00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:50,413 there'll definitely be a phone call. 551 00:24:51,551 --> 00:24:53,655 I'm wondering if Noelle has already 552 00:24:53,655 --> 00:24:56,689 sent that text message over to my mother, 553 00:24:56,689 --> 00:24:59,827 and what it is that those two are talking about. 554 00:25:07,275 --> 00:25:08,724 [Sean] I am disappointed. 555 00:25:13,896 --> 00:25:15,448 Because she's been telling us to get married 556 00:25:15,448 --> 00:25:16,896 for the last three years. 557 00:25:16,896 --> 00:25:20,758 But her mood just started slowly declining. 558 00:25:20,758 --> 00:25:23,586 So I just wanted to give her some space, 559 00:25:23,586 --> 00:25:25,206 sit on it for a little bit. 560 00:25:30,793 --> 00:25:31,827 [Bella] Come in. 561 00:25:32,862 --> 00:25:34,103 Hi. 562 00:25:35,275 --> 00:25:37,275 -Are you all right after today? -[Bella] Yeah. 563 00:25:37,275 --> 00:25:38,827 -How are you feeling? -Fine. 564 00:25:40,103 --> 00:25:41,000 [Sean] Bergamot. 565 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,275 [Bella] What's a bergamot? 566 00:25:45,793 --> 00:25:47,379 Mm, that's nice. 567 00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:51,379 Are you good? You want to ask me any questions? Or are you okay? 568 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,310 Are the boys gonna move here? 569 00:26:05,551 --> 00:26:07,827 Yeah. Tell us two years later. 570 00:26:08,172 --> 00:26:09,275 Like, what? 571 00:26:12,379 --> 00:26:14,103 [chuckles] Thanks. 572 00:26:15,137 --> 00:26:16,172 Are you all right, though? 573 00:26:16,862 --> 00:26:17,931 Still mad? 574 00:26:18,758 --> 00:26:19,931 Not really. 575 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,379 About two years later. 576 00:26:27,482 --> 00:26:30,000 But not two years later. 577 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,896 How would you feel, though, if she moved in? 578 00:26:31,896 --> 00:26:33,724 If she moved over and moved in with us? 579 00:26:35,482 --> 00:26:36,862 I would be happy. 580 00:26:36,862 --> 00:26:38,275 -[Sean] Yeah? -Yeah. 581 00:26:38,275 --> 00:26:41,172 Okay. Well, I'm glad you're taking it well. 582 00:26:41,172 --> 00:26:42,413 If you have any more questions 583 00:26:42,413 --> 00:26:44,000 -that you want to talk to me about-- -Actually, yeah. 584 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,206 What? 585 00:26:47,379 --> 00:26:49,482 We don't have any more secrets. That was it. 586 00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:52,172 -If you get any secret, then tell us right away. -[Sean] Okay. 587 00:26:52,172 --> 00:26:53,931 -Deal. -[Bella] Yeah. Deal. 588 00:26:54,448 --> 00:26:56,482 All right. Give us a kiss. 589 00:26:56,482 --> 00:26:58,896 -I gotta go talk to Joanne now. -Okay. Bye-bye. 590 00:26:58,896 --> 00:27:00,586 Your wife, you mean? 591 00:27:00,586 --> 00:27:02,689 [Sean] Yeah, my wife. [laughs] 592 00:27:02,689 --> 00:27:04,931 -Not your girlfriend. -[Sean laughs] Oh, my gosh. 593 00:27:07,275 --> 00:27:08,862 Hi, Donna. 594 00:27:08,862 --> 00:27:11,379 Hi, Noelle. How are you? 595 00:27:11,379 --> 00:27:12,965 I'm good. How are you? 596 00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:14,620 I'm glad you called me. 597 00:27:14,965 --> 00:27:16,689 So, the whole 598 00:27:16,689 --> 00:27:19,103 marriage thing, 599 00:27:19,689 --> 00:27:21,137 how did you feel about that? 600 00:27:22,758 --> 00:27:23,793 Okay. 601 00:27:23,793 --> 00:27:25,896 So, that really threw me off. 602 00:27:25,896 --> 00:27:27,517 Like, I'm happy for her, 603 00:27:28,275 --> 00:27:29,896 but for two years, 604 00:27:29,896 --> 00:27:31,793 she didn't tell anybody. And it's like, 605 00:27:31,793 --> 00:27:33,862 why was that a mystery? 606 00:27:33,862 --> 00:27:35,689 Like, why was that such a secret? 607 00:27:35,689 --> 00:27:38,034 [Donna] Do you feel it's genuine? 608 00:27:38,034 --> 00:27:39,172 I do feel it's genuine. 609 00:27:39,172 --> 00:27:40,896 I see the love they have for each other. 610 00:27:40,896 --> 00:27:42,758 I like, you know, 611 00:27:42,758 --> 00:27:44,379 how he treats Joanne. 612 00:27:44,379 --> 00:27:47,172 [Donna] And how did the boys react? 613 00:27:47,172 --> 00:27:50,000 Um, I think the boys were taken aback as well. 614 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,379 -I think, like, they're still processing it. -[Donna] How did he, 615 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,103 like, are they happy 616 00:27:54,103 --> 00:27:55,172 or upset? 617 00:27:55,172 --> 00:27:56,172 [Noelle] So, here's the thing. 618 00:27:56,172 --> 00:27:58,689 Everybody is happy for her, 619 00:27:58,689 --> 00:28:01,275 but, you know, everybody is still 620 00:28:01,275 --> 00:28:04,103 concerned, too, because now she's saying 621 00:28:04,103 --> 00:28:06,172 she's moving here, 622 00:28:06,172 --> 00:28:08,034 and her whole life is at home. 623 00:28:08,034 --> 00:28:09,310 [Donna] Exactly. 624 00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:12,448 I had time to process the fact that she got married. 625 00:28:12,448 --> 00:28:15,000 Um, I understood her reasonings 626 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,103 for getting married, 627 00:28:16,103 --> 00:28:18,896 but I'm not on board with supporting 628 00:28:18,896 --> 00:28:21,413 moving to Ireland. Those are my grandkids. 629 00:28:21,793 --> 00:28:24,000 I'm sorry. I'm not. 630 00:28:24,793 --> 00:28:26,068 Yeah. 631 00:28:27,689 --> 00:28:29,517 -[Joanne] How'd that go? -[Sean] It was all right. 632 00:28:30,344 --> 00:28:32,275 [sighs] It was a long day, man. 633 00:28:32,275 --> 00:28:34,000 -Yeah. -That was a stressful day. 634 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,517 Yeah. It was a lot. 635 00:28:42,965 --> 00:28:46,137 They're just hurt and concerned. 636 00:28:46,137 --> 00:28:47,344 "How does this work, then?" 637 00:28:47,344 --> 00:28:48,724 -[Sean] Yeah. -You know? 638 00:28:49,758 --> 00:28:52,172 I knew the boys would be surprised by the news, 639 00:28:52,172 --> 00:28:54,172 but I definitely didn't feel 640 00:28:54,172 --> 00:28:57,482 or even think in a million years that 641 00:28:57,482 --> 00:29:00,689 it would be as heavy of an energy as it is. 642 00:29:00,689 --> 00:29:02,275 It's way deeper. It's... 643 00:29:02,275 --> 00:29:04,931 We opened up Pandora's box. 644 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,689 That was a little bit funny, though. Yeah. 645 00:29:07,689 --> 00:29:10,896 -"So wait. What? What? What? Oh, my God!" -[Joanne laughs] 646 00:29:10,896 --> 00:29:12,689 I was like, "Oh, get me out of here, man." 647 00:29:12,689 --> 00:29:14,413 [both laugh] 648 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,000 -I was like, "Oh, my God." -[Joanne laughs] 649 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,379 "Is this over yet?" 650 00:29:21,448 --> 00:29:23,206 [Sean speaking] 651 00:29:27,758 --> 00:29:29,793 I'm in a very tough position with jealous sons 652 00:29:29,793 --> 00:29:33,379 because I am the person, I suppose, 653 00:29:33,379 --> 00:29:35,275 that's "taken" their mother away. 654 00:29:41,344 --> 00:29:43,379 We were so blind by our love 655 00:29:43,379 --> 00:29:45,724 that now the reality is setting in that 656 00:29:46,172 --> 00:29:48,172 this little fantasy we have 657 00:29:48,172 --> 00:29:50,000 might not actually work out. 658 00:29:51,689 --> 00:29:54,551 You know, the boys have to be okay with it. 659 00:29:54,551 --> 00:29:55,896 -Oh, of course. -You know? 660 00:29:55,896 --> 00:29:57,379 And I know that you understand that 661 00:29:57,379 --> 00:29:59,793 because it's the same thing with Bella. 662 00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:05,379 I just... I have to see... 663 00:30:05,379 --> 00:30:07,310 I have to pick their brains a little bit more. 664 00:30:10,758 --> 00:30:12,586 [Corona] Today I'm going for 665 00:30:12,586 --> 00:30:15,172 an information session at the midwifery school. 666 00:30:15,172 --> 00:30:18,172 You would need to speak or read, 667 00:30:18,172 --> 00:30:20,172 uh, the Icelandic language. 668 00:30:20,172 --> 00:30:21,275 -Okay. -Because, 669 00:30:21,275 --> 00:30:22,862 uh, all the courses 670 00:30:22,862 --> 00:30:24,931 are taught in Icelandic. 671 00:30:25,896 --> 00:30:27,241 Oh. 672 00:30:46,586 --> 00:30:47,482 [Corona] Hello. 673 00:30:47,482 --> 00:30:49,482 -Hello. -Hi, I'm Corona. 674 00:30:49,482 --> 00:30:51,000 -[in Icelandic] -[woman, in English] Yeah. 675 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:51,896 [in English] Your name? 676 00:30:51,896 --> 00:30:53,482 My name is Valgerdur Lisa. 677 00:30:53,482 --> 00:30:55,344 -Vagerdur. -Valgerdur Lisa. 678 00:30:55,344 --> 00:30:56,344 -Valgerdur. -[Valgerdur] Yes. 679 00:30:56,344 --> 00:30:57,689 -Yes. Please. -Hello. [laughs nervously] 680 00:30:57,689 --> 00:31:00,379 Today I'm going for an information session 681 00:31:00,379 --> 00:31:01,655 at the midwifery school, 682 00:31:01,655 --> 00:31:04,000 the only midwifery school here in Iceland, 683 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,896 to figure out how I can get in. 684 00:31:06,689 --> 00:31:08,172 How can I help you? 685 00:31:08,172 --> 00:31:10,034 Um, I'm just here to learn some more about the midwifery program 686 00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:12,724 and how possible it is for me to get in. 687 00:31:13,068 --> 00:31:14,172 [Valgerdur] Okay. 688 00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:16,103 It was definitely nice to 689 00:31:16,103 --> 00:31:18,793 meet up with other Black people that live in Iceland 690 00:31:18,793 --> 00:31:20,000 the other day, 691 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,275 and to hear their experiences and their stories. 692 00:31:22,275 --> 00:31:23,275 But I've got to be honest, 693 00:31:23,275 --> 00:31:24,482 it scared the [bleep] out of me 694 00:31:24,482 --> 00:31:26,000 because they brought up 695 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,379 a lot of obstacles that I may face 696 00:31:28,379 --> 00:31:31,310 in my path to becoming a midwife here in Iceland. 697 00:31:31,586 --> 00:31:32,793 I was accepted 698 00:31:32,793 --> 00:31:34,689 to a midwifery program in the States, 699 00:31:34,689 --> 00:31:37,586 Penn, which is an Ivy League, so one of the, like, 700 00:31:37,586 --> 00:31:39,482 top seven schools in the country. 701 00:31:39,482 --> 00:31:42,000 But I decided to move 702 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,862 to Iceland instead, to be with my partner. 703 00:31:44,862 --> 00:31:46,379 -Okay. -[Corona] And it is my goal 704 00:31:46,379 --> 00:31:48,344 to still continue on my path 705 00:31:48,344 --> 00:31:50,724 -to becoming a midwife. -Okay. 706 00:32:00,068 --> 00:32:01,103 Okay. 707 00:32:05,586 --> 00:32:06,827 Okay. 708 00:32:13,068 --> 00:32:14,275 [Corona] The research that I did 709 00:32:14,275 --> 00:32:15,793 for the school was just, like, 710 00:32:15,793 --> 00:32:18,000 what my computer could translate. 711 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,344 And I swear it said 712 00:32:20,344 --> 00:32:22,344 that the lectures were in English, 713 00:32:22,344 --> 00:32:24,000 so I thought this was something I could 714 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,758 definitely do right away. 715 00:32:25,758 --> 00:32:28,965 So to hear this lady ripping my dreams apart, 716 00:32:28,965 --> 00:32:30,275 I'm trying really hard not to just, like, 717 00:32:30,275 --> 00:32:32,379 burst out in tears right in front of her face. 718 00:32:33,793 --> 00:32:34,862 The interview process... 719 00:32:34,862 --> 00:32:37,068 -Yeah? -...is that also in fully Icelandic, 720 00:32:37,068 --> 00:32:39,551 or is it flexible depending on who's interviewing? 721 00:32:39,551 --> 00:32:42,137 The interview would be in Icelandic. 722 00:32:42,965 --> 00:32:44,275 We have never had... 723 00:32:44,275 --> 00:32:46,344 [laughs softly] ...this question... 724 00:32:46,344 --> 00:32:49,482 -[Corona] Okay. -...before, to have it in English. 725 00:32:49,482 --> 00:32:52,275 -I've been studying the language for... -[Valgerdur] Okay. 726 00:32:52,275 --> 00:32:55,034 ...almost a year now, but definitely not fluent. 727 00:32:55,034 --> 00:32:55,931 Do you think it would be possible 728 00:32:55,931 --> 00:32:57,482 for someone to simultaneously, like, 729 00:32:57,482 --> 00:33:00,137 take Icelandic as a second language class 730 00:33:00,137 --> 00:33:01,655 and midwifery classes 731 00:33:01,655 --> 00:33:02,793 and just learn the language 732 00:33:02,793 --> 00:33:03,689 as they're going through school? 733 00:33:03,689 --> 00:33:05,482 I think it might be 734 00:33:05,482 --> 00:33:07,379 maybe hard for you. 735 00:33:07,379 --> 00:33:09,896 You need to be all in, I think. 736 00:33:09,896 --> 00:33:11,793 -So it could be... -[Corona] Mm-hmm. 737 00:33:11,793 --> 00:33:13,965 ...quite challenging for you to be 738 00:33:13,965 --> 00:33:17,448 in the process of learning Icelandic. 739 00:33:17,448 --> 00:33:19,068 Challenging but not impossible. 740 00:33:19,068 --> 00:33:21,586 -I tend to do some challenging things in life as is. -[Valgerdur laughs] 741 00:33:21,586 --> 00:33:22,793 Yeah, well, 742 00:33:23,344 --> 00:33:25,275 uh, I think, uh, 743 00:33:25,275 --> 00:33:27,275 you could give it a try at least, 744 00:33:27,275 --> 00:33:29,344 to apply, of course. 745 00:33:29,344 --> 00:33:30,551 Um, when do you think, like, 746 00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:32,482 the soonest I would be able to apply 747 00:33:32,482 --> 00:33:34,344 to the program would be, realistically? 748 00:33:34,344 --> 00:33:36,172 For international students, 749 00:33:36,172 --> 00:33:38,379 the due date for applications 750 00:33:38,379 --> 00:33:41,000 was, uh, two weeks ago. 751 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,379 It's the first of February. 752 00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:44,379 -Oh. -[Valgerdur] Each year. 753 00:33:44,379 --> 00:33:46,448 -Yeah. Yeah. -Okay. 754 00:33:46,448 --> 00:33:48,655 -Okay. -So it's only once a year. 755 00:33:48,655 --> 00:33:50,896 So we're talking about 756 00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:53,068 at least one and a half year 757 00:33:53,068 --> 00:33:54,482 from now. 758 00:33:55,379 --> 00:33:57,344 And that's given, like, best case scenario 759 00:33:57,344 --> 00:33:58,275 -if I get in. -[Valgerdur] Yeah. 760 00:33:58,275 --> 00:34:01,000 But to be realistic, 761 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,689 if you need to take some 762 00:34:02,689 --> 00:34:04,275 extra courses, 763 00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:07,241 -you know, to learning the language... -Definitely. 764 00:34:07,689 --> 00:34:09,275 ...then, might be that, uh, 765 00:34:09,275 --> 00:34:10,862 two years, maybe. 766 00:34:10,862 --> 00:34:12,827 -Okay. -[Valgerdur] Yeah. 767 00:34:14,688 --> 00:34:17,585 [Corona] I feel like I just got my heart ripped out of my chest. 768 00:34:17,585 --> 00:34:19,172 It's a big blow to the gut. 769 00:34:19,172 --> 00:34:21,793 It's, like, even best case scenario is, like, 770 00:34:21,793 --> 00:34:23,275 my worst case scenario. 771 00:34:23,275 --> 00:34:24,827 And I'm 772 00:34:25,655 --> 00:34:27,137 feeling a little shaky 773 00:34:27,137 --> 00:34:29,068 and rocky about my future here. 774 00:34:29,068 --> 00:34:31,172 Being a midwife is my first love. 775 00:34:31,172 --> 00:34:33,241 If I have to give up my dreams of being a midwife, 776 00:34:33,241 --> 00:34:36,103 how happy would I even be staying in Iceland? 777 00:34:41,482 --> 00:34:43,103 What if I didn't think 778 00:34:43,103 --> 00:34:45,103 that I could stay here permanently? 779 00:34:46,172 --> 00:34:47,896 Like, would you come back with me if that 780 00:34:47,896 --> 00:34:49,827 was something that happened? 781 00:35:12,689 --> 00:35:14,068 [Meitalia speaking] 782 00:35:17,586 --> 00:35:19,241 [James] This isn't downtown. This is a fair. 783 00:35:19,241 --> 00:35:21,344 Oh, it's downtown. 784 00:35:21,896 --> 00:35:23,068 [James] Oh. 785 00:35:23,068 --> 00:35:25,103 [Meitalia, in Bahasa] 786 00:35:25,103 --> 00:35:26,517 [vendor, in Bahasa] 787 00:35:27,379 --> 00:35:28,620 [Meitalia speaking] 788 00:35:29,344 --> 00:35:30,827 [in English] Tonight I want to show James... 789 00:35:41,482 --> 00:35:44,241 [all, in Bahasa] 790 00:35:45,275 --> 00:35:47,103 [in English] It's amazing. So good. 791 00:35:52,344 --> 00:35:53,827 It's not what I expected. 792 00:35:54,206 --> 00:35:55,827 It's like salty cheddar. 793 00:35:56,275 --> 00:35:57,310 That is good. 794 00:35:58,379 --> 00:35:59,344 I'll try a spicy one. 795 00:35:59,344 --> 00:36:00,586 Okay. 796 00:36:03,793 --> 00:36:06,103 It's not spicy. It's just flavor. [coughs] 797 00:36:06,103 --> 00:36:08,551 -This one's the one that's more spicy. -Okay. It's a little spicy. 798 00:36:09,310 --> 00:36:10,379 [coughs] 799 00:36:11,448 --> 00:36:12,620 [coughs] Okay. 800 00:36:12,620 --> 00:36:15,551 [coughs] A little spicier than I expected. 801 00:36:16,896 --> 00:36:18,517 James has been here for, 802 00:36:18,517 --> 00:36:20,689 uh, a couple of weeks, and I feel like 803 00:36:20,689 --> 00:36:23,172 he's still getting used to living here. 804 00:36:23,172 --> 00:36:24,758 [James] That one definitely has a kick to it. 805 00:36:25,862 --> 00:36:27,068 [chuckles] 806 00:36:27,068 --> 00:36:29,965 [Meitalia] But since we talked about Jojo, 807 00:36:29,965 --> 00:36:32,793 I've been thinking about what James kept saying, 808 00:36:32,793 --> 00:36:34,931 "If things don't work here," 809 00:36:35,448 --> 00:36:37,103 that worries me, 810 00:36:37,103 --> 00:36:38,793 because I do want him 811 00:36:38,793 --> 00:36:41,586 to be happy here, because I am happy. 812 00:36:42,551 --> 00:36:43,758 I'm gonna stick with these. 813 00:36:43,758 --> 00:36:45,344 -Okay. -You can enjoy 814 00:36:45,344 --> 00:36:47,206 your whole bag right there. 815 00:36:48,793 --> 00:36:52,103 Well, since we are here for a while now... 816 00:36:53,310 --> 00:36:54,724 how do you feel, 817 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,103 living here? 818 00:36:56,758 --> 00:36:58,103 I do love it here. 819 00:36:58,689 --> 00:37:00,068 I love the people. 820 00:37:00,068 --> 00:37:03,482 But there are still things we haven't resolved yet. 821 00:37:03,482 --> 00:37:05,793 And for me, the biggest is still Jojo. 822 00:37:06,068 --> 00:37:07,206 And the car. 823 00:37:07,862 --> 00:37:09,482 And we're still paying for it. 824 00:37:10,241 --> 00:37:11,758 I mean, that's a huge cost. 825 00:37:12,689 --> 00:37:16,000 And right now, I don't see any way to fix it. Um... 826 00:37:16,862 --> 00:37:18,068 Yeah. 827 00:37:19,551 --> 00:37:20,931 Worst case scenario... 828 00:37:21,896 --> 00:37:24,758 what if we're here for a while 829 00:37:24,758 --> 00:37:28,137 and we're not able to get our feet under us fast enough? 830 00:37:29,068 --> 00:37:30,689 What if I didn't think 831 00:37:30,689 --> 00:37:32,724 that I could stay here permanently? 832 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,517 Like, would you come back with me if that 833 00:37:35,517 --> 00:37:37,482 was something that happened? 834 00:37:41,551 --> 00:37:44,896 [Meitalia] If that's, like, the last, last, last choice... 835 00:37:46,448 --> 00:37:47,655 maybe? 836 00:37:49,586 --> 00:37:52,620 But let's make that not happen. 837 00:37:53,413 --> 00:37:56,068 [James] She's vague purposefully, I feel. 838 00:37:56,068 --> 00:37:57,344 The way she worded it, 839 00:37:57,344 --> 00:37:58,448 she never really 840 00:37:58,448 --> 00:38:00,586 said yes or no if she would come back with me. 841 00:38:00,586 --> 00:38:03,068 And that's very similar to the way I would react 842 00:38:03,068 --> 00:38:04,793 when she would say something about kids. 843 00:38:04,793 --> 00:38:07,068 And that does give me discomfort, 844 00:38:07,068 --> 00:38:08,793 because deep down, 845 00:38:08,793 --> 00:38:10,206 I'm definitely leaning more towards 846 00:38:10,206 --> 00:38:12,000 not wanting to have kids. 847 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,586 So that definitely is a fear I have 848 00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:16,517 of her not coming back with me to the States 849 00:38:16,517 --> 00:38:17,862 if we needed to go back. 850 00:38:19,137 --> 00:38:22,379 You know, I just want to know that if everything did go bad, 851 00:38:22,379 --> 00:38:25,448 that you wouldn't just abandon me and Jojo. 852 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,000 [Meitalia] I'm not gonna abandon you. 853 00:38:28,862 --> 00:38:30,689 But I also want to live here. 854 00:38:31,310 --> 00:38:32,793 And, um... 855 00:38:39,206 --> 00:38:42,068 Like, I'm almost 28 now. 856 00:38:42,068 --> 00:38:44,689 I want to see myself take care of my kids. 857 00:38:45,344 --> 00:38:48,379 For them to call me "Mommy" 858 00:38:48,379 --> 00:38:50,275 before I'm too old. 859 00:38:52,793 --> 00:38:54,793 [James] What's the age that you would want 860 00:38:54,793 --> 00:38:56,517 to have kids by? 861 00:38:56,517 --> 00:38:58,344 Maximum is like... 862 00:38:59,655 --> 00:39:01,379 33... 863 00:39:12,862 --> 00:39:14,275 I'm just scared. 864 00:39:17,310 --> 00:39:18,379 Yeah. 865 00:39:41,482 --> 00:39:43,896 What if it was too much for me 866 00:39:43,896 --> 00:39:45,517 and I decided and told you, like, 867 00:39:46,275 --> 00:39:48,655 "I never see myself having kids. 868 00:39:48,655 --> 00:39:50,620 I don't think it's something I can do"? 869 00:39:59,517 --> 00:40:01,000 Being with you. 870 00:40:08,793 --> 00:40:11,379 If we didn't have a kid, would I be enough? 871 00:40:15,068 --> 00:40:16,206 Because for me, like, 872 00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:19,413 you and me, we are complete together. 873 00:40:32,344 --> 00:40:33,620 [James] It's very clear to me that 874 00:40:33,620 --> 00:40:35,793 Tatha and I are on different pages right now. 875 00:40:35,793 --> 00:40:38,551 And it kills me that I can't give her 876 00:40:38,551 --> 00:40:39,551 exactly what she wants 877 00:40:39,551 --> 00:40:40,862 or promise her 878 00:40:40,862 --> 00:40:42,517 something that I can't promise. 879 00:40:43,241 --> 00:40:45,379 Because I love her completely, 880 00:40:45,379 --> 00:40:47,241 and all I want is to make her happy. 881 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,241 I want her to understand that. 882 00:40:49,241 --> 00:40:52,413 Like, this is not me trying to hurt her. 883 00:40:53,137 --> 00:40:54,172 [sniffles] 884 00:40:54,896 --> 00:40:56,000 I can't lose her. 885 00:40:58,068 --> 00:40:59,344 That is all I care about. 886 00:41:07,103 --> 00:41:08,034 [Statler] Next time on 887 00:41:08,034 --> 00:41:10,344 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way... 888 00:41:10,344 --> 00:41:12,758 I'm not gonna stand for you being rude to me all the time 889 00:41:12,758 --> 00:41:14,517 because you're feeling a certain way. 890 00:41:14,517 --> 00:41:15,896 It seems like you're wanting, like, 891 00:41:15,896 --> 00:41:19,275 a solution to this and there really is not one. 892 00:41:19,758 --> 00:41:20,758 This could be 893 00:41:20,758 --> 00:41:22,827 one of the worst decisions I've ever made. 894 00:41:26,137 --> 00:41:28,413 I just want to make sure that 895 00:41:28,413 --> 00:41:30,793 you are gonna go to therapy. 896 00:41:30,793 --> 00:41:32,103 [Sarper speaking] 897 00:41:34,034 --> 00:41:36,137 Who's the therapist? What's the therapist's name? 898 00:41:38,241 --> 00:41:39,586 I call [bleep] on this. 899 00:41:39,586 --> 00:41:42,068 I have this gut feeling that Sarper is lying to me. 900 00:41:42,068 --> 00:41:44,413 Did you really make a therapy appointment? 901 00:41:45,896 --> 00:41:48,172 Black people aren't supposed to do this. 902 00:41:52,034 --> 00:41:53,655 [Corona] One thing at a time, babe. 903 00:41:53,655 --> 00:41:55,310 Ooh. [shrieks] 904 00:41:55,310 --> 00:41:58,517 Basically, she said I wouldn't be able to start 905 00:41:58,517 --> 00:42:01,413 at best, like, a year and a half. 906 00:42:05,379 --> 00:42:07,310 [Corona] I don't think he realizes 907 00:42:07,310 --> 00:42:09,068 how much I'm questioning 908 00:42:09,068 --> 00:42:11,896 my choices that have led me to this moment. 909 00:42:11,896 --> 00:42:13,931 I think I'm running out of patience. 910 00:42:25,482 --> 00:42:26,551 [Josh] Here we go again. 911 00:42:26,551 --> 00:42:28,310 She wants to bring up money, 912 00:42:28,310 --> 00:42:30,275 this time in front of my brother. 913 00:42:30,275 --> 00:42:32,379 Thank you for ruining Jared's night tonight.