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Previously on 90 Day Fiance:
The Other Way...
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I brought you here
to change our mood.
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Sarper is
really showing me
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that he is trying
and that he can make changes.
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Look at you.
- Yeah.
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Okay. That's good.
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We were
so blind by our love,
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but this little fantasy
we have
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might not actually work out.
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I want this
to be home base.
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But your opinion matters
to me. Your feelings matter.
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And I will not abandon
my kids.
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I just need time
to sit on it.
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I know you love telling me
how much money you spent.
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Here we go again.
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She wants to bring up money,
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this time
in front of my brother.
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What if it...
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was too much for me
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and I decided
and told you, like,
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I never see myself
having kids?
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I don't think it's something
I can do.
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I can't lose her.
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If we didn't have a kid,
would I be enough?
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Hello. Hello.
Hello.
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How are you?
Hi.
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Shekinah.
- Yeah.
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Thank you.
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How are you feeling?
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I feel like I need
to comfort you.
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Yes.
- 'Cause you're
the nervous one.
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You will go into surgery
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and I feel nervous too much.
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I know.
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I'm just worried
about you.
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I've been wanting
to get a nose job
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ever since I was a teenager.
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And I did. I got two,
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but they just didn't result
in something I was happy with.
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So my nose surgery is
scheduled for tomorrow.
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Hello.
Hello.
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And today,
I'm going in
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for my rhinoplasty
consultation.
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I'm really excited
to meet the doctor.
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He's very well-known
in Turkiye.
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Hopefully, the third time
is the charm.
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You had
a surgery previously.
- Yes.
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I've had two.
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- I had one--
- You had two before?
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- Yes, two.
- Mm-hmm.
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- I had one 17 years ago...
- Okay.
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...and then one, um,
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let's see, seven.
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Seven years ago?
Yeah.
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- There was like,
10 years between, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
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Wow.
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You're nose is not bad.
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- Yeah.
- But can be better.
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Yes, can be better.
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- Can be better.
- I especially think
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from this side of my face...
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- Yes,
- ...it's very bad.
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This side is not as bad.
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I don't know why it's
so different from the other.
Mm-hmm.
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It is not fitting your face.
Yeah.
It's not fitting.
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- Thank you.
- With the nose surgery,
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you will look
much more younger.
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- Yes.
- And also much more beautiful.
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- Thank you.
- I think because the nose is
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the heart of our face.
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It's affecting everything.
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- May I ask you something,
by the way?
- Yes.
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I mean...
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I am so nervous.
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I mean, I am
more nervous than her.
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I'm excited.
He's nervous.
Uh-huh.
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...surgery?
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You are starting to look
like a factory production.
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Every girl started
to look like each other.
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I don't want that,
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but she wants it.
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So...
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it's out of my hands,
all control.
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Okay.
First of all...
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- Okay.
- ...your nose looks
a bit longer
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- according to your face.
- Yeah.
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Normally,
there's a ratio
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between the nose
and the face...
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- Yeah.
- ...about the length.
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One piece,
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the second piece,
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and the third part.
Ah.
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These all must be
in equal in each other.
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Equal?
- But your middle part is
a bit longer, yeah.
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Oh.
Mm-hmm.
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Okay.
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Yes.
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Well, can
I ask you something?
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Yeah.
I'm
a little control freak--
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Oh.
- And he's so nervous
about this.
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Can I show you something?
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Yes. Absolutely.
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He has a vision
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for what he wants
my nose to look like.
Mmm.
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Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
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...every day.
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So let me do it for you.
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So we are shaving this part.
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Right?
Yes.
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- And this part.
- Yes.
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Yes,
with spreader grafts.
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Okay.
Okay.
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And then we are changing...
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...this part,
for definition work.
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- What--
- I cannot come to operation?
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You will bother us.
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I will stay
in the corner waiting.
But I--
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Okay, we have
the same vision?
Okay? Mm-hmm.
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How do I look, babe?
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You look like a cat.
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Wow.
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So you're packing already?
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Oh, yeah.
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Got a lot to do,
you know?
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Since we told them
the news,
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we've been trying our best
to have a family vacation,
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chill out,
and help them digest.
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But I could tell
by Joey's energy
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that he's still way off.
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Today, we are being tourists.
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That's what we're doing.
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Joey,
anywhere you want to go?
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"Home" home?
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All right.
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Joey is 100% my kid.
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And so when we don't want
to deal with our emotions,
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we will make
passive aggressive comments.
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We will be sarcastic.
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And he has been doing
all of the above.
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It was a lot
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to take in the fact
that we were married.
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But I think
Joey's main concern is
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the move over to Ireland.
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So I want to talk to him
a little bit more.
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So how you feeling
about everything
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that I've pretty much dumped
on your lap
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00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,517
in a short [chuckling] period
of time?
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00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:58,827
I mean...
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it is what it is.
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00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,000
Right.
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00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,206
I have some questions
for you, definitely.
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00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:07,620
Okay.
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00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,586
So do you have a date... yet?
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I don't have a date yet
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'cause I wanted to see
how this went.
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I mean, I...
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I have to make
a better calendar
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for how long I'll be here for
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and how long I will be
in New York for.
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I'm not gonna...
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00:08:23,827 --> 00:08:25,827
up and leave you guys,
you know?
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I would hope not.
I wouldn't.
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Like, you guys are my kids.
Like,
you know what I mean?
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You come first.
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I want to be happy.
I want to live in the moment.
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But I also...
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live for you guys.
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Who do I have now?
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- If you're not here...
- Yeah.
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...dad lives 45 minutes away,
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something happens
with Jesse in school.
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Right.
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You know, like,
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it's really just gonna be me,
I feel like.
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You're not gonna
be responsible for Jesse.
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You're not taking my role.
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00:08:57,482 --> 00:08:59,586
You're not Jesse's parent.
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00:08:59,586 --> 00:09:02,275
I am still your parent
and his parent.
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00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,482
I understand
that I'll be further away,
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00:09:04,482 --> 00:09:07,482
but I would, of course,
get on the next plane
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00:09:07,482 --> 00:09:10,206
if I needed to get
to New York, clearly.
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00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:13,172
And we have family.
We have a lot of people.
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00:09:13,172 --> 00:09:14,896
I mean, you know Grandma
and Grandpa.
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They're going to help.
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00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:17,724
But...
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00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,103
if Jesse's like,
"Hey, I'm coming,
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00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:23,000
and I want to live there,"
then [chuckles] okay.
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00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,827
- You know what I mean?
- Then I'm by myself, no?
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What? And then you could come.
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What if I don't want to?
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Then you stay.
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00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:31,793
Whatever makes you happy.
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00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,689
If you don't want me to move,
then you've got to say that.
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00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:36,206
Well, I feel like it's
a lose-lose situation here.
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00:09:37,689 --> 00:09:39,620
It's not that I don't
want you to.
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00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,068
It's just like...
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00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:45,413
I'd rather not have my mom,
like, in a different country.
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00:09:47,172 --> 00:09:48,172
Like, it's a big deal...
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00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,931
- Yeah.
- ...for everybody.
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00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,034
Right. I get that.
201
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:56,586
I made the decision
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00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:59,379
to marry someone
across the Atlantic
203
00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:02,103
and want to move there.
204
00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:04,068
I never really want to think
about the negatives
205
00:10:04,068 --> 00:10:05,344
in any situation,
206
00:10:05,344 --> 00:10:08,172
so I really wasn't thinking
about any of the negatives.
207
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,827
I was being like, "Yeah,
this is going to work."
208
00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:14,206
But Joey has
a lot of questions,
209
00:10:14,206 --> 00:10:16,000
and all of them valid.
210
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,517
There are many layers
to this decision
211
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:21,241
that Sean and I did not
take into consideration.
212
00:10:22,172 --> 00:10:25,103
I'm your mom,
and I love you very much.
213
00:10:25,103 --> 00:10:28,137
So we're going
to figure this out
together as a family.
214
00:10:29,206 --> 00:10:30,620
I'm not abandoning you guys.
215
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:33,517
So it's like, I don't want you
to think that I am.
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00:10:34,275 --> 00:10:36,172
I don't know how--
I don't know how--
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00:10:36,172 --> 00:10:37,689
I really don't know
how it's gonna work,
218
00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:40,896
like, just all fall
into place.
219
00:10:40,896 --> 00:10:43,000
Everyone needs
to work around...
220
00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,206
your decision right now.
221
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000
Put salt in the open wound.
222
00:10:52,827 --> 00:10:54,275
These are
the problems.
223
00:10:54,275 --> 00:10:56,206
"I have really paid
a lot for him,
224
00:10:56,206 --> 00:10:58,275
but he still thinks
I don't love him
225
00:10:58,275 --> 00:11:01,310
because he feels bad
that he can't contribute."
226
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:03,379
Jerry is not going
to be here with me forever.
227
00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:04,931
I can't live a life
228
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,310
of always arguing.
229
00:11:17,482 --> 00:11:19,931
I don't speak
Indonesian fluently.
230
00:11:19,931 --> 00:11:21,931
I think that's just an excuse.
231
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,655
But I do thank you
232
00:11:45,655 --> 00:11:47,758
for ruining Jared's
night tonight, sweetie.
233
00:11:49,172 --> 00:11:52,241
Sorry, Jared.
Just... Ah.
234
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,620
Oh.
235
00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:01,068
We arrive safely...
236
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,758
Yeah.
...and quickly.
237
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:06,379
I asked Lily
to take us somewhere
238
00:12:06,379 --> 00:12:09,586
where we could try
some different Chinese dishes.
239
00:12:09,586 --> 00:12:11,655
But after our argument
in the car,
240
00:12:12,206 --> 00:12:13,758
it's a little awkward now.
241
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:17,655
Okay.
242
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:19,896
What do we got here?
243
00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:21,551
What's your favorite thing
to do down here?
244
00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:26,379
Yeah, when you come here,
what do you normally do?
245
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,758
Ooh, look at those.
246
00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,103
Oh.
247
00:12:30,068 --> 00:12:31,379
Yeah.
248
00:12:31,379 --> 00:12:32,413
Having Jared here
249
00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:35,103
is actually helping ease
a lot of the tension
250
00:12:35,103 --> 00:12:36,413
between Lily and I.
251
00:12:36,413 --> 00:12:38,586
He's always been a peacemaker
252
00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:40,482
in my previous relationships.
253
00:12:40,482 --> 00:12:43,172
But I was not expecting
254
00:12:43,172 --> 00:12:45,000
throwing my brother
into the fire.
255
00:12:50,931 --> 00:12:52,379
Your favorite?
Yeah.
256
00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:53,379
Is that pear?
257
00:12:55,793 --> 00:12:58,206
I'm going to see
what else is here
before I eat.
258
00:12:58,206 --> 00:13:00,275
- Okay, you and me, okay?
Got it.
- Okay.
259
00:13:00,275 --> 00:13:01,172
It's okay.
260
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,517
Very good. Thank you.
261
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,724
Mm.
Yummy. Yummy.
262
00:13:10,482 --> 00:13:12,206
This is very good.
263
00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:15,310
Very yummy, yes. I love it.
Very, very yummy.
264
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:17,862
Jared may like what's
coming up over here.
265
00:13:17,862 --> 00:13:19,068
The squid?
Jared like what?
266
00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:20,586
Yeah, the squid.
This one right here?
267
00:13:20,586 --> 00:13:21,896
Do I just take it?
268
00:13:21,896 --> 00:13:23,896
Oh! I got--
You got to cook it.
Yes.
269
00:13:23,896 --> 00:13:24,896
Yes, thank you.
270
00:13:24,896 --> 00:13:25,862
Thank you.
271
00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:26,896
Barbecue.
Barbecue.
272
00:13:26,896 --> 00:13:28,172
Good. No, that's good.
273
00:13:30,896 --> 00:13:32,517
Take your time on that.
274
00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:35,206
On the way down here,
275
00:13:35,206 --> 00:13:37,517
Josh and Lily get
in this argument
276
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,689
that shouldn't be happening
277
00:13:38,689 --> 00:13:39,965
in a couple days before
the wedding.
278
00:13:39,965 --> 00:13:41,793
This should be
the happiest time
of their life.
279
00:13:41,793 --> 00:13:43,103
So I'm not sure
280
00:13:43,103 --> 00:13:45,275
if they're fighting
over some petty things,
281
00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:47,172
trying to see
who's going to give first,
282
00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:49,931
or if there is
some serious stuff going on
283
00:13:49,931 --> 00:13:51,172
that I don't know about.
284
00:13:51,172 --> 00:13:54,517
It's very hard to get a feel
for what's going on.
285
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:58,172
This is very different
286
00:13:58,172 --> 00:14:00,896
than how they serve it
in Michigan.
287
00:14:02,482 --> 00:14:05,758
So I think it would be
very nice or helpful
288
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,586
just to, um,
289
00:14:07,586 --> 00:14:09,517
find closure...
Mm-hmm.
290
00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,896
...on the conversation
we had in the car.
291
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:14,000
I do want to ask
292
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,586
about the finances.
293
00:14:16,586 --> 00:14:18,068
Knowing he can't work,
294
00:14:18,068 --> 00:14:19,482
he's mentioned
295
00:14:19,482 --> 00:14:21,482
that you might have given him
296
00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:24,000
a little bit of... grief
297
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,172
about not being able
to contribute financially.
298
00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:29,724
Um, is that something that...
299
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,758
um, is gonna bother you
300
00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:33,724
that he can't provide?
301
00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:36,275
My English is not good.
302
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,517
- I'm so sorry. Mmm.
- It's okay.
303
00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:42,413
Very thorough.
304
00:14:42,896 --> 00:14:44,068
Just typing away.
305
00:14:48,517 --> 00:14:49,931
Um, "I don't care..."
306
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,275
"...if Josh is poor or rich,
307
00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:54,172
what I care about is love.
308
00:14:54,172 --> 00:14:56,241
And he makes me feel unloved.
309
00:14:58,103 --> 00:14:59,620
Sometimes he even says
310
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,793
some language that hurts me,
so these are the problems.
311
00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:04,896
I have really paid
a lot for him,
312
00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:07,137
but he still thinks
I don't love him."
313
00:15:07,896 --> 00:15:09,000
I think
314
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,482
that he's saying
315
00:15:10,482 --> 00:15:12,896
he doesn't want to know
316
00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:15,586
about how much
you're paying for him
317
00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:18,310
because he feels bad
that he can't contribute.
318
00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:22,241
Do you understand?
319
00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:26,758
Yes. I understand. But, uh...
There's no wrong...
320
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:28,206
Uh...
321
00:15:29,586 --> 00:15:30,827
Yeah.
322
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,517
This.
323
00:15:37,206 --> 00:15:40,586
"I'm not saying that I seem
to have spent a lot of money
324
00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:42,068
on something for him,
325
00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:44,793
but rather I want to make him
326
00:15:44,793 --> 00:15:46,931
have this kind of gratitude."
327
00:15:47,275 --> 00:15:48,758
Ah.
328
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:50,137
I'm hearing-- I'm hearing it.
329
00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:51,896
I'm hearing it.
330
00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:55,344
You're reminding Josh
of all that you do for him,
331
00:15:55,793 --> 00:15:58,413
not to throw it in his face,
332
00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:02,241
but you want to know
he's grateful.
333
00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:04,724
Yes.
334
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,275
It's almost like your--
335
00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:10,689
your love languages
are switched.
336
00:16:10,689 --> 00:16:13,068
The men usually show
their love
337
00:16:13,068 --> 00:16:14,620
by buying things.
338
00:16:14,931 --> 00:16:16,379
And then we think
339
00:16:16,379 --> 00:16:18,620
that the women,
if they don't appreciate
340
00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:21,000
the things that we buy,
we don't feel loved.
341
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,758
And I think
Josh's love language is
342
00:16:23,758 --> 00:16:25,068
just that security,
343
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,931
uh, the emotional stability.
344
00:16:26,931 --> 00:16:30,206
It just seems like
the gender roles are
a little bit switched.
345
00:16:32,482 --> 00:16:35,000
I'm more probably
the sensitive type.
346
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,379
You know, she's more,
you know, straightforward,
347
00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:39,896
just kind of say it as is.
348
00:16:39,896 --> 00:16:42,241
But as long as we talk
349
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,482
and focus on each other
350
00:16:44,482 --> 00:16:46,482
and think positive,
351
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:48,413
I truly believe
we can move forward.
352
00:16:50,758 --> 00:16:53,689
Having my brother here is
very helpful,
353
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:55,413
but he's not going to be here
with me forever.
354
00:16:55,413 --> 00:16:56,586
I really hope
355
00:16:56,586 --> 00:16:59,448
that Lily and I can
understand each other
356
00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:00,758
much better now.
357
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,931
I can't live a life
of always arguing.
358
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:09,586
If you didn't love each other,
you wouldn't care so much.
359
00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:10,758
You guys are fighting
360
00:17:10,758 --> 00:17:12,000
because you do love
each other.
361
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,310
You're trying to protect it.
362
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:22,931
I believe it.
363
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:24,620
That's why I'm here.
364
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:44,965
Well,
let's go ahead and kiss,
365
00:17:44,965 --> 00:17:47,517
and then we'll get back
on your heated floors.
366
00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:58,689
Jeez.
- Ah!
367
00:17:58,689 --> 00:18:00,275
Yeah, that's so close!
368
00:18:00,275 --> 00:18:01,517
Oh, my gosh.
369
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,862
I've been living in Indonesia
for about six weeks,
370
00:18:20,862 --> 00:18:24,310
and it's harder than I thought
it was going to be, by far.
371
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:29,000
Tatha's parents cannot be
the easiest to live with.
372
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,896
I love them very much,
373
00:18:30,896 --> 00:18:33,068
but they can be very intrusive
374
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:37,413
or controlling if you're
within their bubble.
375
00:18:37,413 --> 00:18:40,586
Trying to have a love life
in your parents' house is--
376
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,724
it's not happening.
It's not happening at all.
377
00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:47,517
And we don't even
have the funds
378
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,551
to move out if we wanted to.
379
00:18:50,206 --> 00:18:51,793
So we have to make
a deposit today
380
00:18:51,793 --> 00:18:53,482
on the wedding, right?
381
00:18:53,482 --> 00:18:55,000
Yeah, we do.
382
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,586
We're
just hemorrhaging money
383
00:18:56,586 --> 00:18:58,586
because in about two weeks,
384
00:18:58,586 --> 00:19:00,758
we are having
our second marriage
385
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:02,172
here in Indonesia.
386
00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:05,517
And all of this is
really just feeling...
387
00:19:05,517 --> 00:19:07,000
like a lot of pressure,
a lot of stress,
388
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,448
and just a little bit
too much.
389
00:19:09,586 --> 00:19:10,620
Are you excited...
390
00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:13,103
I'm excited.
391
00:19:13,103 --> 00:19:14,862
Don't know how I feel about...
392
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,931
wearing some of those options
I saw.
393
00:19:18,103 --> 00:19:19,000
Yeah.
394
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,620
Yeah, the dress is--
395
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,586
Today, we are going
to go try on
396
00:19:23,586 --> 00:19:26,482
our Javanese wedding attire.
397
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,896
It's what royalty used to wear
way back when
398
00:19:29,206 --> 00:19:30,931
for weddings and stuff.
399
00:19:31,689 --> 00:19:32,793
- Hi.
- Hello.
400
00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:35,000
Apparently, this is what
people wear nowadays
401
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,793
to be a traditional
Javanese wedding.
402
00:19:38,931 --> 00:19:40,000
Oh, yeah. Okay.
403
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:43,310
Oh, yeah. Okay.
404
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,620
It's a unique style.
405
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,724
It's different.
406
00:19:50,896 --> 00:19:52,448
I'm...
407
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,448
I'm ready, babe.
408
00:19:55,206 --> 00:19:58,000
Hi. You look cute.
409
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,551
This is so big.
410
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,724
You look good.
411
00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:03,241
I can't bend over.
412
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,689
It's like
layers upon layers
413
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:08,620
of tightly wrapped cloth.
414
00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:17,344
Yeah.
415
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:21,068
I think James' outfits are
really cute.
416
00:20:21,068 --> 00:20:22,206
I just don't know.
417
00:20:22,206 --> 00:20:25,620
Whatever he wear, I think
he just look good on it.
418
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,137
The best part
of this is the briefs.
419
00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:35,172
Oh.
I like that.
420
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,413
I feel weird.
There's no way to say it.
421
00:20:39,413 --> 00:20:40,482
I'm wearing a dress.
422
00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:42,241
A dress with a bucket
on my head.
423
00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:47,862
Yeah.
424
00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:50,172
This has been a whirlwind,
425
00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:52,758
getting this thing
all set up so fast.
426
00:20:52,758 --> 00:20:55,103
Your parents jumped
on that bandwagon fast.
427
00:20:55,103 --> 00:20:56,793
They're like,
"All right, we're doing it.
Let's do it."
428
00:20:56,793 --> 00:20:58,862
Yeah, they're
really excited.
429
00:20:58,862 --> 00:21:03,103
It is really important for me
to have a wedding ceremony
here in Indonesia
430
00:21:03,103 --> 00:21:05,862
because when we have
a wedding in the US,
431
00:21:05,862 --> 00:21:10,310
this is, kind of, not
a wedding that I wanted.
432
00:21:33,517 --> 00:21:36,068
So me and James agree
433
00:21:36,068 --> 00:21:38,103
that one day,
we're in Indonesia,
434
00:21:38,103 --> 00:21:41,827
we're going to do
wedding ceremony
for my family.
435
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:44,793
He does.
436
00:21:44,793 --> 00:21:47,586
He like
to be really included.
437
00:21:47,586 --> 00:21:48,689
He doesn't care
about anything, though.
438
00:21:48,689 --> 00:21:50,482
He doesn't care
about money or budget.
439
00:21:50,482 --> 00:21:52,103
He's just like, "I'll just--
Let's just do everything.
440
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:54,206
- The most expensive."
- True.
441
00:21:54,206 --> 00:21:55,413
That's one thing
with your dad
442
00:21:55,413 --> 00:21:56,793
that I always
have trouble with,
443
00:21:56,793 --> 00:21:59,000
is he tries
to control everything.
444
00:21:59,931 --> 00:22:01,379
We're paying
for this wedding,
445
00:22:01,379 --> 00:22:02,620
so we're trying
to keep the budget
446
00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:06,620
somewhere between
$1,000 and $1,500.
447
00:22:06,620 --> 00:22:11,793
In Indonesia,
1,500 US dollars, it's a lot.
448
00:22:11,793 --> 00:22:15,000
And Tatha's dad
has been pushing us
449
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000
to keep adding
more and more things.
450
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,482
He wants
to add more guests,
451
00:22:18,482 --> 00:22:21,000
he wants to add
very expensive entertainment,
452
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,103
more expensive venue.
453
00:22:23,103 --> 00:22:24,827
We don't have
the funds for that.
454
00:22:24,827 --> 00:22:28,137
And it's definitely
starting to cause some grading
between me and Tatha's dad.
455
00:22:29,620 --> 00:22:31,793
It just annoys me
that he doesn't ever
listen to us.
456
00:22:31,793 --> 00:22:33,586
He always does
whatever he wants.
I know.
457
00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,586
And that stresses me out
about living with him.
458
00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:37,000
I feel like
no matter what we do,
459
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,310
I'm always walking
on eggshells.
460
00:22:38,310 --> 00:22:39,724
Like, oh, I don't want
to piss him off.
461
00:22:39,724 --> 00:22:42,517
Yeah, it's not the most
comfortable living
environment for me.
462
00:22:43,275 --> 00:22:44,551
I understand.
463
00:23:02,482 --> 00:23:03,586
Helping your dad
with banana chips
464
00:23:03,586 --> 00:23:05,172
isn't gonna
help us make money,
465
00:23:05,172 --> 00:23:08,000
isn't gonna
help us find a job.
466
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,931
- So--
- I think that's
just an excuse.
467
00:23:12,689 --> 00:23:14,172
Because, like,
right now, we just stay
468
00:23:14,172 --> 00:23:18,379
at my parents' house
like a hotel.
469
00:23:18,379 --> 00:23:19,689
It's free.
470
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:22,931
I want to, like, at least us
help them a little bit,
471
00:23:22,931 --> 00:23:24,827
making the banana chips.
472
00:23:33,068 --> 00:23:37,000
But also, I think
James can learn to be
a better son-in-law.
473
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,379
He can respect the culture,
474
00:23:39,379 --> 00:23:41,034
to help
with the banana chips...
475
00:23:44,586 --> 00:23:47,000
I don't speak
Indonesian fluently.
476
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,068
I'm gonna screw it up
and cost them
a bunch of money.
477
00:23:50,068 --> 00:23:52,068
Well, when I coming to State,
478
00:23:52,068 --> 00:23:54,379
I didn't speak
any of your language.
479
00:23:54,379 --> 00:23:58,275
I learned because
I want to for you.
480
00:23:58,275 --> 00:24:00,482
And you're saying I don't try
to learn Indonesian?
481
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,310
Try a little harder.
482
00:24:02,310 --> 00:24:04,758
Like, sometimes,
without me there
483
00:24:04,758 --> 00:24:08,896
to teach you,
to translate for you
all the time.
484
00:24:09,275 --> 00:24:11,482
That is just not fair.
485
00:24:11,482 --> 00:24:14,275
I never just
threw you into anything
in the United States.
486
00:24:14,275 --> 00:24:16,551
I never just told you,
"Go figure it out
on your own."
487
00:24:22,482 --> 00:24:24,862
Yeah.
- Okay.
488
00:24:29,517 --> 00:24:30,827
Yeah.
489
00:24:35,862 --> 00:24:39,586
I left the United States,
came here, all for her.
490
00:24:39,586 --> 00:24:42,586
I've been learning as much
Indonesian as I can,
491
00:24:42,586 --> 00:24:44,793
trying to make this all work.
492
00:24:44,793 --> 00:24:47,344
I feel like
it counts for nothing.
493
00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:51,482
I can be buddy-buddy
with your dad all I want,
494
00:24:51,482 --> 00:24:53,379
I can try to help him
with banana chips.
495
00:24:53,379 --> 00:24:54,793
But is that helping us
make money?
496
00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:55,655
No.
497
00:24:55,655 --> 00:24:57,586
Is that helping
take care of you?
498
00:24:57,586 --> 00:24:58,965
No.
499
00:24:58,965 --> 00:25:02,172
And I know you don't look
at the money side
as much as I do,
500
00:25:02,172 --> 00:25:04,793
but it's a real thing
that I have to deal with,
501
00:25:04,793 --> 00:25:08,620
because at the end of the day,
every man in our family
502
00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:11,172
is going to look at me
as a failure.
503
00:25:11,172 --> 00:25:12,931
Not you.
504
00:25:12,931 --> 00:25:15,275
They're gonna look at you
as, like, oh, the poor girl
who has a [bleep] husband.
505
00:25:15,275 --> 00:25:17,586
That's what
it's gonna become.
506
00:25:17,586 --> 00:25:18,758
And you don't have to deal
with that weight.
507
00:25:18,758 --> 00:25:20,620
That's what I get
to carry every day.
508
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:22,793
Those are the things
I'm trying to figure out
right now.
509
00:25:22,793 --> 00:25:25,241
And if I can't,
then I don't belong here.
510
00:25:31,379 --> 00:25:32,793
No sexual intercourse
511
00:25:32,793 --> 00:25:35,172
- for one month
after the surgery.
- One month?
512
00:25:35,172 --> 00:25:37,482
Breathe.
513
00:25:37,482 --> 00:25:39,310
Babe, I almost
had a heart attack.
514
00:25:39,310 --> 00:25:41,103
Can I please focus
on my surgery right now?
515
00:26:00,068 --> 00:26:03,241
Let me look at your nose
for the last time.
516
00:26:03,241 --> 00:26:05,793
- Yeah. Get a good look.
- Yes.
517
00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:07,896
You're so cute.
Mm.
518
00:26:07,896 --> 00:26:09,793
Today is the day
of my surgery,
519
00:26:09,793 --> 00:26:11,379
and I'm feeling so excited.
520
00:26:11,379 --> 00:26:15,586
I've wanted this for a while,
and I'm glad that this day
is finally here.
521
00:26:15,586 --> 00:26:17,758
Adonis, you be a good boy.
522
00:26:17,758 --> 00:26:19,551
Be a good boy, sweetie.
523
00:26:19,551 --> 00:26:21,793
What if he doesn't
recognize me
when I get back?
524
00:26:23,137 --> 00:26:24,793
He won't recognize me?
525
00:26:24,793 --> 00:26:27,896
- Let me look at your nose
last time in this house.
- Okay. Stop looking at it.
526
00:26:27,896 --> 00:26:29,103
No! Stop looking at it.
Babe.
527
00:26:29,103 --> 00:26:31,482
Come on, let's go.
We've got to go.
528
00:26:31,482 --> 00:26:33,275
Let's go.
529
00:26:33,275 --> 00:26:35,241
Yeah, I can see that.
530
00:26:37,172 --> 00:26:39,896
Sarper is so anxious
about my surgery
531
00:26:39,896 --> 00:26:43,586
that it's actually taking
the focus off of my surgery.
532
00:26:44,172 --> 00:26:46,068
Like, instead of
preparing myself,
533
00:26:46,068 --> 00:26:48,310
I'm just trying
to calm him down.
534
00:26:49,689 --> 00:26:53,724
The focus
needs to be on me today
and not about his anxiety.
535
00:26:54,689 --> 00:26:56,068
It's a bigger day
for me, I think,
536
00:26:56,068 --> 00:26:58,482
because I feel
more anxious than you.
537
00:26:58,482 --> 00:27:00,068
I know.
You don't need to be nervous.
538
00:27:00,068 --> 00:27:01,896
- Don't worry.
- I can't stop it, babe.
539
00:27:01,896 --> 00:27:05,896
I mean, the day came,
thinking that you will be
unconscious
540
00:27:05,896 --> 00:27:08,655
for three hours
or four hours. Whatever.
541
00:27:08,655 --> 00:27:11,103
Think, like,
I'm taking a nap,
a little nap.
542
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:13,586
But always
I have the control.
543
00:27:13,586 --> 00:27:15,793
I can wake you up
if you take a nap.
544
00:27:17,482 --> 00:27:19,586
Right now, I can't.
545
00:27:19,586 --> 00:27:23,000
After surgery,
I'm not gonna be
my usual self.
546
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,344
I'm not gonna be
serving Sarper,
547
00:27:24,344 --> 00:27:25,689
I'm not gonna be
entertaining him.
548
00:27:25,689 --> 00:27:28,172
I'm not gonna be,
you know, bubbly and happy.
549
00:27:28,172 --> 00:27:29,620
I'm gonna be in pain.
550
00:27:29,620 --> 00:27:33,241
So I look at spending
my recovery with Sarper
as kind of a test.
551
00:27:33,241 --> 00:27:35,275
I really hope
that he can step up
552
00:27:35,275 --> 00:27:37,896
because it's gonna determine
553
00:27:37,896 --> 00:27:39,068
whether or not
this is somebody
554
00:27:39,068 --> 00:27:42,068
that I can, you know,
live the rest of my life with.
555
00:27:42,068 --> 00:27:45,482
Is there
any limitations
after surgery?
556
00:27:45,482 --> 00:27:46,448
For example, will she--
557
00:27:46,448 --> 00:27:48,379
Can she take shower?
558
00:27:48,379 --> 00:27:52,793
For one week,
she can wash her body,
but just below the neck.
559
00:27:52,793 --> 00:27:55,000
You're not allowed
to wash your face
560
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,275
or brush your teeth
for one week.
561
00:27:57,275 --> 00:27:59,000
- So--
- What?
562
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,689
Yeah.
- That's ridiculous.
563
00:28:00,689 --> 00:28:03,000
And also
no sexual intercourse
564
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,586
for one month
after the surgery.
565
00:28:04,586 --> 00:28:05,896
One month?
Yes.
566
00:28:05,896 --> 00:28:07,551
One month?
- Thirty days.
567
00:28:07,551 --> 00:28:08,896
Wait. Why?
Yes.
568
00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:10,586
That's so long.
569
00:28:10,586 --> 00:28:11,896
Extreme
physical activity
570
00:28:11,896 --> 00:28:14,965
can cause some bleeding
in the nose, so...
571
00:28:14,965 --> 00:28:18,586
I know that surgery
comes with, you know,
a set of restrictions,
572
00:28:18,586 --> 00:28:20,551
but I'm shocked.
573
00:28:20,551 --> 00:28:23,551
Like, I have not heard
these things before.
574
00:28:23,551 --> 00:28:25,172
Breathe, breathe.
575
00:28:26,793 --> 00:28:28,482
Okay.
576
00:28:30,586 --> 00:28:33,103
What if I'm not doing
the extreme physical activity?
577
00:28:33,103 --> 00:28:35,689
He's, like,
doing all the work.
578
00:28:35,689 --> 00:28:36,862
Okay, great.
That's fine.
579
00:28:36,862 --> 00:28:38,379
We'll be fine then.
580
00:28:38,379 --> 00:28:41,103
Mm-hm.
581
00:28:44,137 --> 00:28:45,413
Okay. Sounds good.
582
00:28:46,551 --> 00:28:49,172
Babe, I almost had
a heart attack
583
00:28:49,172 --> 00:28:51,000
when she said "for a month."
I know. I saw.
584
00:28:56,793 --> 00:28:58,655
"Just slow down."
585
00:28:58,655 --> 00:29:00,068
We'll figure it out.
Just relax.
586
00:29:00,068 --> 00:29:01,896
Can I please focus
on my surgery right now?
587
00:29:01,896 --> 00:29:03,103
I mean...
588
00:29:06,137 --> 00:29:07,862
You can go home.
589
00:29:07,862 --> 00:29:09,482
Actually, I think
you should go home.
590
00:29:09,482 --> 00:29:11,448
And I'll just stay here.
591
00:29:11,448 --> 00:29:14,379
Because you're
stressing me out
at this point.
592
00:29:14,379 --> 00:29:17,172
I know Sarper really wants me
to cancel this surgery,
593
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:18,758
but we're here
in the hospital,
594
00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:20,379
and I really want this.
595
00:29:20,379 --> 00:29:24,482
So we are going
to find a way around this
no sex for a month thing.
596
00:29:24,482 --> 00:29:27,000
We are not the couple
that's going to comply
with that one.
597
00:29:28,689 --> 00:29:30,586
- Hi there.
- Hi.
598
00:29:30,586 --> 00:29:33,034
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you, too.
599
00:29:38,896 --> 00:29:40,896
Thank you.
Bless your hands.
600
00:29:42,379 --> 00:29:44,586
Thank you.
601
00:29:44,586 --> 00:29:46,379
Look after my girl, Doctor.
Oh, don't worry.
602
00:29:46,379 --> 00:29:48,793
No worries.
603
00:29:48,793 --> 00:29:50,931
Okay, I'm gonna go change.
Okay.
604
00:29:51,862 --> 00:29:53,931
I love you.
Love you, too.
605
00:30:08,241 --> 00:30:10,931
Good. "For the last time."
Mm-hm.
606
00:30:12,758 --> 00:30:14,793
If anything
happens to my love,
607
00:30:14,793 --> 00:30:17,241
I never can handle it.
608
00:30:17,241 --> 00:30:20,103
After surgery,
any recovery things,
problems,
609
00:30:20,103 --> 00:30:22,379
I will feel that
more than her,
610
00:30:22,379 --> 00:30:24,586
and I will be anxious.
I know that.
611
00:30:25,793 --> 00:30:29,482
I will be here,
waiting here, continuous.
612
00:30:29,482 --> 00:30:32,655
Right now, our relationship
on an eggshell.
613
00:30:32,655 --> 00:30:36,275
And I want to show
that I will be
always with her.
614
00:30:36,275 --> 00:30:40,344
But I never in my life
look after anyone.
615
00:30:40,344 --> 00:30:44,103
So...
it will be difficult.
616
00:30:45,482 --> 00:30:47,620
Okay.
617
00:30:57,655 --> 00:31:01,000
So let's just
talk about the trip.
618
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,241
Looking back on it now,
619
00:31:02,241 --> 00:31:04,896
yes, I feel bad
for keeping the secret
from everybody
620
00:31:04,896 --> 00:31:08,000
So far,
Sean's a cool guy.
621
00:31:09,655 --> 00:31:11,689
What did you think, Joey?
622
00:31:11,689 --> 00:31:13,413
Well, Sean...
623
00:31:13,793 --> 00:31:15,068
Oh, God.
624
00:31:34,586 --> 00:31:35,827
Come on, Jess.
625
00:31:37,172 --> 00:31:39,965
You get yours.
I still have mine over there.
626
00:31:39,965 --> 00:31:41,379
After a week in Ireland,
627
00:31:41,379 --> 00:31:45,137
it is now time for Noelle
and the kids to fly home.
628
00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:47,379
I wish
they were staying longer
629
00:31:47,379 --> 00:31:49,586
so that we'd have
more time to talk
630
00:31:49,586 --> 00:31:52,000
and discuss things
as a family.
631
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,655
I definitely hope
that this trip would have
given more clarity.
632
00:31:55,655 --> 00:31:59,172
We were like,
"Yes, we're in love.
I'm moving to Ireland.
633
00:31:59,172 --> 00:32:01,862
I'm making it home base,
and it's going to be great.
634
00:32:01,862 --> 00:32:02,931
Everybody's going to love it
635
00:32:02,931 --> 00:32:04,689
and be in complete
agreement with this."
636
00:32:04,689 --> 00:32:07,206
But it's caused
more confusion.
637
00:32:11,172 --> 00:32:12,862
You have
the passports, Noelle?
638
00:32:12,862 --> 00:32:15,655
I have the passports, Joanne.
All right.
639
00:32:15,655 --> 00:32:16,862
Here we go.
640
00:32:27,241 --> 00:32:29,896
So, let's just
talk about the trip.
641
00:32:29,896 --> 00:32:31,241
I was excited to meet Sean.
642
00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:32,896
But I was like,
"Oh, my God, we're all
staying in the house.
643
00:32:32,896 --> 00:32:34,344
What if I, like, hate him?"
644
00:32:34,344 --> 00:32:36,517
Like, I don't really have
a good poker face.
645
00:32:37,482 --> 00:32:40,000
Noelle does not
sugarcoat things,
646
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,896
and she definitely
laid into me when
she had me alone.
647
00:32:43,689 --> 00:32:45,896
I'm not gonna lie,
I was a little effing hurt.
648
00:32:45,896 --> 00:32:47,379
Yeah, I get it.
Um...
649
00:32:47,379 --> 00:32:49,862
You know,
and then when you were like
then you're gonna move here,
650
00:32:49,862 --> 00:32:51,103
I was like...
651
00:32:51,103 --> 00:32:53,172
That was like
a [bleep] punch.
652
00:32:53,172 --> 00:32:55,000
What the [bleep] is going on?
Right.
653
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,379
Like, how did I not know?
654
00:32:58,551 --> 00:33:01,793
I understand totally
that Noelle was upset.
655
00:33:01,793 --> 00:33:03,655
I would have felt
the same, exact way.
656
00:33:03,655 --> 00:33:08,137
But right now,
there's so much emotion
coming from the kids
657
00:33:08,137 --> 00:33:11,275
that I just really need her
to be my best friend,
658
00:33:11,275 --> 00:33:15,379
be there for me
and help me figure out
what the future looks like.
659
00:33:16,689 --> 00:33:21,241
So far, you know,
Sean's a cool guy.
660
00:33:22,172 --> 00:33:24,931
- He's a cool guy.
- I'm a real swell guy.
661
00:33:26,034 --> 00:33:28,000
What did you think, Joey?
662
00:33:28,241 --> 00:33:29,827
Well, Sean...
663
00:33:30,275 --> 00:33:31,275
Oh, God.
664
00:33:31,275 --> 00:33:33,551
- No offense.
- No.
665
00:33:33,551 --> 00:33:38,275
I definitely wasn't expecting
you guys to be married
666
00:33:38,275 --> 00:33:40,344
- for two years.
- Almost two years.
667
00:33:40,344 --> 00:33:42,724
- Everybody keeps
saying two years.
- We're gonna say two years.
668
00:33:43,482 --> 00:33:45,310
- Okay.
- We're just rounding it up.
669
00:33:46,689 --> 00:33:52,241
I mean, I had a week
to digest, like, two years
worth of information here.
670
00:33:52,241 --> 00:33:53,689
You know what I mean?
671
00:33:53,689 --> 00:33:56,241
So-- Yeah.
It was a lie.
I apologize.
672
00:33:56,241 --> 00:33:59,758
- We didn't think
it through properly, but--
- Oh. Obvious.
673
00:33:59,758 --> 00:34:03,172
Please forgive me.
674
00:34:03,172 --> 00:34:05,103
It was a lot.
I know it was a lot.
675
00:34:06,241 --> 00:34:08,241
Looking back on it now,
yes, I feel bad
676
00:34:08,241 --> 00:34:10,448
from keeping the secret
from everybody, you know?
677
00:34:10,448 --> 00:34:14,655
I mean, at the same time,
I wouldn't change the day
that we had.
678
00:34:14,655 --> 00:34:17,655
I would just change
the time period
679
00:34:17,655 --> 00:34:19,310
that we waited
to tell people.
680
00:34:20,068 --> 00:34:22,172
Well, there's
so many pieces
681
00:34:22,172 --> 00:34:25,275
that I still have
to put together
in this puzzle.
682
00:34:26,379 --> 00:34:30,655
But in the future,
I'll definitely
be planning better
683
00:34:30,655 --> 00:34:33,379
and including you
in those plans.
684
00:34:33,379 --> 00:34:36,793
Like, I will definitely
communicate better.
685
00:34:37,448 --> 00:34:38,931
I hope so.
686
00:34:39,793 --> 00:34:41,586
There was a lot of
information to take in.
687
00:34:41,586 --> 00:34:45,655
I wish I was able to spend
more one-on-one time
with Sean.
688
00:34:45,655 --> 00:34:48,310
I need a little more time
to sit on it.
689
00:34:49,034 --> 00:34:50,482
Let's go, guys.
690
00:34:50,482 --> 00:34:53,448
I want to talk to my brother,
come to an agreement,
691
00:34:53,448 --> 00:34:58,793
and, uh, let her know
if me and Jesse are on board
with her moving or not.
692
00:35:01,655 --> 00:35:03,862
All right.
All right, guys.
693
00:35:03,862 --> 00:35:06,241
Make sure
you text me when you land.
- I will.
694
00:35:06,241 --> 00:35:07,448
Okay.
Got it.
695
00:35:07,448 --> 00:35:09,000
- Give me a hug.
All right, I love you.
- Bye, Bella.
696
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,103
So nice to meet you.
697
00:35:11,103 --> 00:35:13,275
- And you text me
as soon as you land.
- Okay.
698
00:35:13,275 --> 00:35:15,172
- Bye, Sean.
It was nice to meet you.
- It was very nice to meet you.
699
00:35:15,172 --> 00:35:16,172
Have a safe flight home.
700
00:35:16,172 --> 00:35:18,172
Hopefully we'll see you
sooner than later.
701
00:35:18,172 --> 00:35:19,172
Bro--
702
00:35:20,793 --> 00:35:22,896
It was nice
to meet you, bro.
703
00:35:22,896 --> 00:35:25,172
Well get you back soon
without all the stress.
704
00:35:25,172 --> 00:35:27,000
- You're good?
- Yeah.
705
00:35:28,482 --> 00:35:29,896
All right. Call me
as soon as you get home.
706
00:35:29,896 --> 00:35:31,379
Well, I want to know
as soon as you take off,
707
00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:33,137
I want to know
as soon as you land.
708
00:35:33,137 --> 00:35:35,172
And then, call me later.
709
00:35:35,793 --> 00:35:36,965
- Okay.
- Okay?
710
00:35:36,965 --> 00:35:39,241
- Yeah. I love you.
- I love you.
711
00:35:39,241 --> 00:35:41,482
Mm.
- All right.
I'll see you later.
712
00:35:41,482 --> 00:35:43,137
It was nice
to meet you, yeah?
713
00:35:43,137 --> 00:35:44,931
It was nice to meet you.
We'll get you
back soon.
714
00:35:45,758 --> 00:35:48,689
It was nice to meet you.
We'll get you back soon.
715
00:35:48,689 --> 00:35:51,000
I cared for these boys
before I even met them.
716
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,482
Goodbye, Bella.
717
00:35:57,448 --> 00:35:58,586
Bye, Bella.
718
00:35:58,586 --> 00:36:01,482
Thank you. Bye.
Bye.
719
00:36:01,482 --> 00:36:03,620
Come on, kiddos.
- Don't annoy your dad.
720
00:36:07,896 --> 00:36:10,586
It's easy to dream big
with your wife, but...
721
00:36:11,862 --> 00:36:17,000
the reality is setting in
that this might not
happen for us.
722
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,620
- And then, there was three.
- Yeah.
723
00:36:20,586 --> 00:36:22,896
I'm gonna
miss them, guys.
724
00:36:22,896 --> 00:36:25,413
They'll be back.
725
00:36:26,689 --> 00:36:29,413
We've reached the point
where we need to look
into going back.
726
00:36:56,896 --> 00:36:58,172
I would
just like to state
727
00:36:58,172 --> 00:37:00,517
that you made
a couple of small penises.
Hm.
728
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,241
I know. But it looks like
a couple of small penises.
729
00:37:06,068 --> 00:37:07,689
They look beautiful.
730
00:37:07,689 --> 00:37:10,931
Beautiful, elegant penises.
731
00:37:12,586 --> 00:37:14,172
After the argument yesterday,
732
00:37:14,172 --> 00:37:17,413
Tatha's been pretty distant
and pretty cold to me.
733
00:37:18,241 --> 00:37:20,896
It feels a little unfair.
734
00:37:20,896 --> 00:37:23,241
I think
Tatha is in denial right now
735
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:25,379
about our
financial situation,
736
00:37:25,379 --> 00:37:27,758
and she's trying
to look at it
737
00:37:27,758 --> 00:37:30,379
as it's all just
gonna work magically.
738
00:37:30,379 --> 00:37:31,931
That's not how it works.
739
00:37:31,931 --> 00:37:34,241
We have to do something
to be able to take care
of ourselves here,
740
00:37:34,241 --> 00:37:35,931
and we haven't yet.
741
00:37:37,379 --> 00:37:39,137
How many stones you got left?
742
00:37:40,103 --> 00:37:41,965
Not much.
743
00:37:41,965 --> 00:37:43,689
Almost gone.
744
00:37:43,689 --> 00:37:45,931
Yeah. We've done
a really good job
at using them all.
745
00:37:46,896 --> 00:37:49,482
Haven't done
a good job at selling
any of them, though.
746
00:37:49,482 --> 00:37:50,896
Yeah.
747
00:37:50,896 --> 00:37:53,103
We had
a jewelry business
back in the US.
748
00:37:53,103 --> 00:37:57,793
And if we could really start
selling our jewelry here
in Indonesia consistently,
749
00:37:57,793 --> 00:38:00,586
we wouldn't be diving
so deep into what's left
of our savings.
750
00:38:00,586 --> 00:38:04,275
We have gone
to countless stores,
751
00:38:04,275 --> 00:38:06,965
but none of them
wanted to put it
in their stores
752
00:38:06,965 --> 00:38:09,482
because it would
take away from their designs.
753
00:38:09,482 --> 00:38:13,379
We've got
all this beautiful jewelry,
but we cannot sell it.
754
00:38:14,275 --> 00:38:17,000
Maybe we can
try to sell it online.
755
00:38:17,655 --> 00:38:19,896
We're selling it
online already,
756
00:38:19,896 --> 00:38:22,896
but all the people
that want to buy it
are in the US.
757
00:38:23,758 --> 00:38:25,689
Can we not ship it to them?
758
00:38:26,758 --> 00:38:28,103
That's expensive.
759
00:38:28,103 --> 00:38:30,275
So, what do you think
we should do?
760
00:38:30,275 --> 00:38:33,586
It's kind of what
I'm trying to figure out.
761
00:38:33,586 --> 00:38:36,275
This wedding has cost
a lot of money.
762
00:38:36,275 --> 00:38:40,689
And I can't get a job here
without speaking the language.
763
00:38:41,586 --> 00:38:44,586
I've been, like,
applying a job,
764
00:38:44,586 --> 00:38:48,000
but most of them
are just in the city,
not here.
765
00:38:49,482 --> 00:38:51,620
I didn't know
you'd been applying for jobs.
766
00:39:11,068 --> 00:39:14,137
And also,
it's really expensive
living there.
767
00:39:14,137 --> 00:39:18,896
So my salary
won't be enough
to live in there,
768
00:39:18,896 --> 00:39:22,793
especially James
is not working either.
769
00:39:26,379 --> 00:39:29,137
Here, like,
if you were the one working
and I wasn't working,
770
00:39:29,137 --> 00:39:32,275
society itself
would eviscerate me daily.
771
00:39:32,275 --> 00:39:35,068
They would look at me
as, like, a failure
as a husband.
772
00:39:35,068 --> 00:39:38,862
I mean, it would cause
your family to resent me.
773
00:39:38,862 --> 00:39:39,896
Yeah.
774
00:39:39,896 --> 00:39:41,896
At this point,
I just, I'm--
775
00:39:41,896 --> 00:39:43,620
I'm running
out of options.
776
00:39:46,172 --> 00:39:50,379
I see what's left
in the account.
777
00:39:50,379 --> 00:39:53,000
And we've reached the point
778
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,586
where we're at
the red line of...
779
00:39:56,034 --> 00:39:59,000
we need to look
into going back.
780
00:40:04,862 --> 00:40:07,724
I don't want
to move back to the US.
781
00:40:13,103 --> 00:40:17,137
We can't just expect
your family to help us
pay for everything.
782
00:40:17,137 --> 00:40:19,896
- To help more.
- I miss them. I don't want
to leave them again.
783
00:40:20,965 --> 00:40:22,103
And I understand.
784
00:40:22,655 --> 00:40:24,896
Just understand
is not enough.
785
00:40:29,241 --> 00:40:30,379
I know it is.
786
00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,172
There are
good doctors out there.
787
00:40:41,172 --> 00:40:42,655
We just haven't found them.
788
00:40:42,655 --> 00:40:45,379
Well, we went
to a lot of doctors.
789
00:40:45,379 --> 00:40:46,931
Like, a lot.
790
00:40:49,275 --> 00:40:51,000
And you were
mostly working.
791
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,275
Just like when you working,
all I do is just stay at home.
792
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,827
Maybe you go back,
I stay here.
793
00:41:05,689 --> 00:41:07,275
We're supposed
to be in this together.
794
00:41:07,275 --> 00:41:09,034
No matter what happens.
795
00:41:09,034 --> 00:41:13,482
Not one of us
just abandons the other one.
796
00:41:13,482 --> 00:41:16,827
I just can't
move back to the US.
797
00:41:21,448 --> 00:41:23,000
I feel like this is [bleep].
798
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,793
I feel like we can
figure something out
here in Indonesia.
799
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,482
It's not fair.
800
00:41:34,482 --> 00:41:37,000
And I'm not going back.
801
00:41:44,034 --> 00:41:46,655
Next time
on 90 Day Fiance:
The Other Way...
802
00:41:46,655 --> 00:41:48,344
I don't have Internet.
803
00:41:48,344 --> 00:41:50,000
We need
a plug socket
804
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,275
where it goes in the end
because it's too wide.
805
00:41:52,275 --> 00:41:53,448
Can you try, please?
806
00:41:53,448 --> 00:41:55,655
I've tried.
I know it won't work.
no.
807
00:41:55,655 --> 00:41:59,000
She's putting
all that stress on me
like it's my fault.
808
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,172
That's on her.
809
00:42:00,172 --> 00:42:03,206
Without Internet,
no job, no van life.
810
00:42:13,655 --> 00:42:15,689
The wedding plan
is stressful.
811
00:42:15,689 --> 00:42:19,413
We cannot afford everything
that my parents want.
812
00:42:22,655 --> 00:42:25,206
I still have
a lot of questions because...
813
00:42:27,896 --> 00:42:30,551
Okay, let me--
- Your daughter is gonna try
destroying our marriage.
814
00:42:33,758 --> 00:42:34,793
But that's--