[woman] Previously on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way...
I hope that our wedding will change James' mind
to go back to the States
because he can see
that he can be happy here in Indonesia
just like tonight.
[woman speaking]
Together.
Nose-surgery recovery is a big process.
This is a good test for our relationship.
Let's walk a little.
He's really impressing me.
You know, there's been really hard times,
but he's doing great.
[Statler] I don't have internet.
[Dempsey] You need a plug socket
where it goes in the end,
'cause it's too wide.
[Statler] Can you try, please?
-[Dempsey] I've tried. I know it won't work. -[bleep]
[Dempsey] It's hard to stay so positive
when Statler's being so negative.
[sniffling]
[dramatic music playing]
[Indonesian folk music playing]
-Hi. -Hey.
[clerk greeting]
[Meitalia speaking in Indonesian]
-[speaks Indonesian] -Uh, Iced tea.
[Meitalia speaking in English] Yesterday is the wedding
and today I just feel so happy.
Everything just went smooth
and James happy,
so it feels like it's a fresh start
in Indonesia.
Yesterday was really, really
you know, like a-dream-come-true wedding.
It did feel kind of like
-a fairy tale. -It does.
-Crazy fairy tale.
Dancing and [clears throat]...
Yeah.
-[James slurping] -Thank you so much
for make the wedding happen.
[James speaking]
I think it came out beautifully
and was amazing.
And I mean,
I would do it again in a heartbeat.
That was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Some of the reality of it is,
and it's one of the things
that I keep trying to talk about, is
our future here in Indonesia.
And...
we have to go back.
[tense music playing]
[James] I had decided to shelve the conversation
about going back to the US
and our finances until after the wedding.
But we've spent so much money on this wedding,
our savings has dwindled away.
It's left us with no choice
but to return back to the US.
I'm not telling you that...
"Oh, we're just never coming back."
No. We get back,
and we save every penny we possibly can.
We can try to get the car paid off.
We regroup,
and we take the knowledge
to know what we need to do
to live here.
Going back to the US is what I have to do.
It's not what I want to do right now,
especially since I left my entire family.
I didn't do it on good terms.
I have not heard from my dad.
I've talked to my mom
a couple times here and there.
But now, after all these failures,
we have to beg my parents
to let me come work for them again.
And that's daunting, to say the least.
We were not fully prepared for this.
I wasn't fully prepared for this.
I wasn't fully prepared for moving to the US.
It is so hard, but I can still doing it
for three and a half years.
And you're here for what?
That's not the only thing.
It's, we've spent the money we had.
We know the jewelry sells in the US.
And even with just my salary alone,
we could make money
to come back here and do this in a better way.
[Meitalia speaking off-screen]
When we're in the US,
you work
and I'm home all of those day.
You take the car and I'm home...
...repeat it every single day.
I can't even go to grocery store.
I need to tell you what I want.
[Meitalia speaking]
You wouldn't be repeating the same thing.
I understand what you've been going through
a lot more now.
And I'm going to make sure
that you feel like you have a life
and not feel like you are stuck in a box.
How though?
[tense music playing]
I'll figure it out.
If we cannot agree on our decision,
I just don't know
what's going to happen in our relationship.
[tense music playing]
[up-tempo music playing]
[Statler] I'm feeling a little bit better this morning,
but Dempsey and I haven't spoken
about last night.
I don't know what's going on in her head,
and I really wish I knew.
-[Dempsey speaking] -[Statler speaking]
I have a little time this morning
before I have to start work.
So I looked online
and one of the highlights of this town
is this train ride
with this gigantic train
that goes through the mountains.
But as I'm walking up,
I'm kind of realizing
maybe I bought the wrong train tickets.
[Dempsey]
-This is cute. -This is cute.
[Dempsey speaking and laughing]
No. This is definitely not the train
that I saw in the brochure, but hey, it's cute.
I feel like a child.
Choo-choo.
Instead of the majestic alpine train of my dreams,
it might as well be a toy.
It's like something that you would see at a mall.
So I don't have to worry about getting nauseous.
This is hilarious. Wow.
This is so funny.
[Statler] I like it. I think it's adorable.
[train whistles]
Choo-choo!
Well, this is a [clears throat] nice end to Chamonix.
Yeah.
Before I have to work for, like, a month straight.
[train whistles]
[Dempsey] I do appreciate you working
and supporting this life.
Thank you, that's nice to hear.
It does suck staying in 10 hours
while you can go out and really see some stuff.
I do get a bit jealous.
And on that note, just, you know,
since we did agree
that you would take over the general upkeep of the van,
like, the table...
would need fixing soon so I can work.
Yeah.
What? You sound--
You seem, like, guarded about that.
I'll do the cleaning
and cooking,
but, like, if something needs ordering from,
say, like, online or something,
I think that you're more than able to do that.
You order things on your computer,
like, all the time anyway.
Mmm. But, like, if you have all day,
you know, why wouldn't you do it?
[tense music playing]
Fine.
You would?
And I'll have that extra stress as well.
I feel like Statler takes me for granted.
Yesterday, I just crumbled and just started to cry
because I don't think she sees
how much energy and how much work
I've had to put into the van
and her to, you know, make sure she's happy,
everything's okay for her.
Is her work set up okay?
Does she have internet?
Does she need feeding?
And she nitpicks at me
for, like, the smallest things.
I'm not just gonna take it,
'cause I'm easygoing.
Yes, I'm easygoing, but I have feelings.
I'm human.
I don't want you to feel, like,
resentful about it.
Like, it just seems fair to me.
Okay.
I want to feel like things are equal between us.
Okay, and how do you feel that they're not?
Because I don't have a job?
No, that's not it.
So what then?
I want you to support me.
I feel like I give you a lot of support.
Maybe I just don't have enough for you.
And probably I won't ever have enough
'cause I feel like I do...
support you.
It's hard for me
because I'm in a relationship with Statler
and I want to be there for her,
but I don't really know what she wants from me.
You feel that things are not equal,
but I feel like a big part of that is
to do with money because...
you know, you have a job,
and I only have
the upkeep of the van to do.
But at the moment,
I'm just enjoying my life,
and there's nothing wrong
-with my way of thinking. -I think we're very different.
We're different in that regard.
Your kind of way of life is kind of just go with the flow,
but mine is geared towards success.
I want success.
I don't need to be like you.
[tense music playing]
Before we moved in together,
when we first started speaking, you were like,
"I would love to, like, think more like you.
Like, I love your outlook on life."
And now, you don't enjoy that part of me.
You just get really annoyed at me.
[Shekinah] I've been obsessively checking my emails
to see if the K-1 visa has been approved.
Babe.
What the [bleep]?
You like it?
Oh, my God, you look epic.
You're approved.
[Meitalia speaking in Indonesian]
[speaking in Indonesia]
[Meitalia speaking in English] I gonna lose my family
or I gonna lose James.
[Turkish music playing]
[Shekinah] It's been a couple months
since my surgery,
and recovery was
a little bit harder than I expected.
I had, like, black eyes, and very swollen,
and couldn't breathe, couldn't taste food.
But Sarper took really good care of me.
He reminded me every hour
that I need to do my nasal rinse.
I need to put this on and that on.
And he was bringing me food, water, propping me up.
And I was so glad to have him there.
I love my new nose.
I feel so much better, too, about how I look,
so I'm really glad that I did it.
Sarper is happy with my new nose.
I don't think that he could see
why I should get my nose done at first,
but now he gets it.
Sarper's at the gym,
and every day I've been obsessively checking my emails
to see if the K-1 visa has been approved.
And I was checking it a few minutes ago,
and it's approved.
So I'm going to surprise him when he walks in the door.
So I wanted it to be a big surprise,
so I dressed up in this cute outfit.
I'm wearing one of his favorite wigs,
and I'm going to show him the approved notice.
This is a big day.
[door opening]
Babe.
[door locking]
What the... [bleep]
You like it?
Oh, my God, you look epic.
-Thank you. -Gorgeous.
Let me see you. Turn around.
[Shekinah] I know, babe.
I wanted to show you my full potential.
During my recovery, he saw me the ugliest I could possibly be.
So, it feels good to put something super sexy on.
-[chuckles] -[Sarper] Oh, my God.
And I know he loves it.
-You look gorgeous. -Thank you.
[Sarper] Let me live in the moment.
-Okay, babe. Take it all in. -That's it.
Oh, my God.
So, I know that, usually, I come out dressed sexy for you,
and I have, like, a whip or handcuffs.
Today, I have my phone instead. Do you know why?
Yeah?
You're approved.
-Yeah. -[chuckles]
It's such a big deal, babe!
-Yeah. -This is a huge day!
It's like the biggest part is over.
Because the US approving you is, like, the hardest part.
I know.
I know, but this... this is a big one.
I have to find a chance to say that.
But not right now, you know?
Okay, it's my turn then.
What do you say?
-Your turn for what? -Come here. Mm-hmm.
Just sit here.
Just sit here. [taps chair] Just sit here.
-Wait, why? -Sit.
-Oh, what are you going to do? -Don't you trust me?
-I do, but-- -Just sit and wait.
-Just sit and wait, my love. -Okay.
-I'm coming. Just sit and wait. -Okay.
Adonis,
what are we about to witness?
What is it gonna be?
[sultry electronic music playing]
Oh, my God.
Babe, you look so hot.
-What is this scarf you're wearing? -You think so? Shh.
Okay.
-[chanting in Turkish] -[in English] Okay.
Oh, my God. [chuckles] Adonis, protect me. [chuckles]
-[chants, growls] -[chuckling]
She loves when I dance, you know?
Every kind of dance, but this one was special.
-That dance was interesting. -Really?
I prefer your striptease.
[rock music playing]
Oh, my God, babe.
You are so hot.
Oh, wow. I love it.
Oh, my God.
-[exhales] -Oh, my God, that was so hot.
-[Sarper] Go and wait for me in the bedroom. -[Shekinah] Okay.
-Okay? -Okay. Okay.
-Okay? -Wear this when you come back there.
-Okay. -I love it.
Okay, go. [exclaims in excitement]
-[Sarper] Go! -Okay, I'm going.
Go and wait for me. Adonis!
[whispering] Come here.
Look at me right now.
Look at me.
Give paw. Yes, my love.
Come, sit. Come, come, come.
Lay down right here. Come, lay down.
Adonis, no.
[upbeat music playing]
[Meitalia in Indonesian]
[in English] Yesterday, James was telling me
that he wants to move back to the US again,
and this time, it feels more real than ever.
[in Indonesian]
Oh, yeah.
[Heri] Okay.
[in English] Today, Angel is going back to Bali,
and I don't know when I'm gonna see her again.
Especially if we're moving back to States.
[in Indonesian]
Um...
Yeah.
[smacks chair]
[tearfully]
[melancholy music playing]
[sobbing]
[both sobbing]
[in English] It is nice when I'm here.
I can talk to my family,
if I fight with him, or I need somebody to talk to.
[in Indonesian]
[Meitalia in English]
Because it's hard to explain to people
if they've never been through it.
[in Indonesian]
[in English] I do need to make a decision soon,
because we're running out of money.
I'm gonna lose my family or I'm gonna lose James.
I cannot choose because I love them equally.
So, I don't know what I need to do.
[in Turkish]
[in English]
I want us to be happy... But I can't.
I feel like my entire life, I've just been desperate for somebody to love me.
But, maybe that's not enough.
[Turkish music playing]
[man and Sarper in Turkish]
[Fusun] Sarper.
[in English] I'm not good at shopping. I hate shopping.
So, the person that I can call, as always, my cousin, Fusun.
[in Turkish]
[gasps]
[in English] Because of the K-1 visa...
In the US, when you put the ring,
when you propose, it means that you're engaged,
but in Turkiye, there has to be
an engagement ceremony between families.
A lot of traditional things we have.
[in Turkish]
[in English] I don't like to say to anyone,
but I had been married once, 14 years ago.
[in Turkish]
-[laughs] -[Sarper chuckles]
-[Sarper speaking] -[Fusun speaking]
[Sarper in English]
And, everything that I had said to Shekinah,
that she is my first for everything,
like the one that I said "I love you,"
the one that I bought flowers,
it is totally true.
I never said I love you to that woman,
because I didn't love her.
[Fusun] Aw!
[continues in Turkish]
[Sarper] Hmm?
[Fusun laughs]
[in English] I love Shekinah so much.
I mean, I have no doubts about it.
It's the first time that I feel
such strong feelings to a woman.
But marriage, I mean, that's a big thing.
It's really scary, so scary.
[in Turkish]
[Fusun sighs]
[in English] He's telling me that he's going to propose
because he wants to convince her to stay here.
I think it's a long shot.
I am not sure about how she feels, obviously.
But I don't think that she's going to change her mind
because of this proposing ceremonies and everything.
[in Turkish]
[Sarper in English] I hope a marriage proposal
and a traditional Turkish engagement ceremony,
can convince Shekinah to stay here in Turkiye,
because she will connect with my family more,
my traditions more.
And it shows I love her,
I am totally loyal to her,
and I will make her happy here.
I don't know what else to do. I mean...
I don't want to go with her to US.
So, this is my last chance
to convince her.
[sighs deeply]
Our relationship and our communication has been extra... [bleep]
It's not healthy for either of us.
I'm not sure if I can be in a relationship
with someone who's completely different.
I think we should, you know, sell the van.
Can you see me in your future, long term?
[Statler] I would like to see you in my future, long term.
I want us to be happy.
Like, I like how you think.
It's just, sometimes, it does get frustrating for me.
Absolutely, I'm not denying that.
It's because it is so different from the way that I think,
and it... it gets frustrating for you, sometimes, with me.
Because you want me to be... maybe seem more like you sometimes.
And you're like, "Why are you anxious right now?
"Stop. Be happy in this moment."
And I can't.
It's... It's frustrating for anyone when... when you have opposing views
and opposing mindsets.
Yeah.
[Statler] There definitely have been, I feel like, some things that
we should improve on.
[Dempsey speaking]
[Statler speaking]
I feel like, my entire life, I've just been desperate for somebody to love me.
I see love and I just grab it and want to run with it.
But, maybe that's not enough.
I'm realizing that I'm not sure if I can
be in a relationship with someone who's completely different.
I think our relationship and our communication has been extra... [bleep]
And if it continues on like this,
it's not healthy for either of us.
So, I think we should, maybe,
like, put a timeline to check where we're at,
and see if we're both feeling better,
and communication has improved, and we feel healthy.
-I do think that a lot of it is coming from the stress... -Yeah.
...of, like, the move and everything.
Yeah.
How long do you want to put on the timeline?
I mean, I think, one month isn't fair,
because I'll be working that whole month.
So, I mean, like, in two months,
if we're in an unhealthy place,
I think, probably, we should, you know, sell the van,
part ways...
and carry on our lives as individuals.
What do you think?
Yeah, I don't really want to sell the van.
I want to explore with you.
It would definitely be heart-breaking, wouldn't be easy.
-But-- -Yeah.
That's why, I think, we should try.
Try really hard.
Because I would like us to succeed.
Me, too.
I think we both have things that we need to work on
for the relationship to work,
and we both clearly have big differences,
and it's okay, having differences as a couple,
but it's just been a really highly stressful time.
And I want to get through that, because,
I fell in love with Statler.
♪♪ Kissing you for The first time ♪
♪♪ Sent me weak at the knees ♪
-Hi. -I can't believe you're actually here.
[Statler] I can't believe you're a... a person.
[Dempsey] And if we both come together with the way that we see the world,
I think that we can achieve so much.
But I think if we're not understanding one another...
then I don't know if we'll work or not.
♪♪ Maybe I'm crazy for chasing The memories we had ♪
♪♪ Crazy for patience For not being mad ♪
[Statler] I don't want to give up on this, because I do love her.
Love is a huge thing. If you have love, you have hope.
And if you have hope, you're gonna just keep trying
until the wheels break off.
And, you know, the wheels aren't doing so good,
but they haven't broken off yet.
So, I'm hanging in there,
because, ultimately, I... I do love her.
-Do you want to go back to the van? -Yes.
♪♪ Crazy for loving you So bad ♪
[Statler speaking]
[Dempsey speaking]
You haven't even told me
you're willing to go back.
Now you're making plans for other people?
[Meitalia speaking]
[drilling]
[James speaking]
[Meitalia speaking]
After the argument yesterday,
things between me and Tatha have been pretty tense.
This morning, Angel and Tatha went over to Heri's house,
before Angel had to head back to Bali.
Even though she apologized,
I still have my guards up, and I still don't trust her a hundred percent.
[Meitalia speaking]
I tell her, you just cannot
support me if we're here.
Can I ask why you felt like you needed to tell other people that?
I don't know. I just need to talk to somebody.
I understand wanting to talk to somebody,
but if that's something you wanted to do,
why couldn't you at least communicate with me
before just opening up stuff we talked about privately?
That hurts a little bit.
[Meitalia speaking]
[scoffs]
We should be the first people to talk to each other.
To communicate about who we're going to talk to
and share our problems,
because then how do you think I'm going to feel
whenever I see those people,
and have to think about how they're thinking?
"Oh, he's just a broke guy who can't take care of his wife."
And now it makes me just feel like the failure.
[sniffles, cries]
It's so frustrating that she's telling everybody our dirty laundry.
She got so upset at me for talking to Adele about not wanting to have kids,
and here she is doing the same thing I did,
and getting other people involved in our relationship.
That's not fair.
I'm really scared.
You act like I am saying the things I'm saying about us
needing to go back to the United States
to try to hurt you, like I want you to be alone.
The whole reason we came here was because
I didn't want you to feel alone.
I wanted to give you a better life here.
And it didn't work. It's not working.
But I want to know before...
before I'm even going to America again,
how long am I going to be there,
how long am I gonna see my family again?
You're asking me to answer things I can't answer.
Yeah, and then you ask me the question that I can't answer.
What is your point with that at all?
-Like, that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. -What if we move--
If we move for, like, I don't even know how many years,
and then I want to be able to know
that my family, at least Angel, will visit me.
So, is this the plan you're making?
I know it takes paperwork and money,
but to leave my family again, already sucks,
and if we can bring Angel there,
that's the least he can do.
Angel, we have had the smallest,
tiniest amount of communication in the last three years.
And you haven't even given me an answer on what it is we're going to do,
and, apparently, now you're making plans
for other people to come visit
to somewhere you haven't even told me you're willing to go back to.
Yeah, whatever.
[door closes]
[James] I really don't know what her thought process is
in wanting to bring her sister, Angel, to the United States.
It doesn't make any sense. It's coming out of left field.
And, right now, it feels like she is prioritizing Angel
more than she is thinking of us and our future.
-[Meitalia crying] -[in Indonesian]
[James in English]
[crying]
[Sugirah in Indonesian]
[sobbing]
[narrator] Next time, on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way...
-Shekinah. -Mm-hmm?
[Shekinah] Oh, my God, what are you doing?
[Joanne] I don't know where your head is at.
We really haven't spoken since you left.
I still am in, like, shock.
[Sean speaking]
Spit it out. What's going on? What happened?
I mean...
It's...
[man] Follow me.
If I do have to go back, our relationship may not survive that.
Now that I know how you feel about being married,
it might be best for me to go home and finish school.
[machine beeps]
[in Mandarin]
Ay. [continues in English]
Your guests are gonna be here in an hour-and-a-half.
-We have to cancel the wedding. -[sighs]
[in Mandarin]
[in English] Oh, my God.
We got to figure this out.
[car door closes]
[sobbing]