1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,720 This programme contains very strong language 2 00:00:02,760 --> 00:00:05,280 from the outset and throughout. 3 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,600 (BABY GRIZZLES) 4 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,360 ♪ THE RONETTES: Be My Baby ♪ 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,360 Shh, shh, shh. 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,240 ♪ The night we met, I knew I... 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,280 ♪ Needed you so... 8 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,360 Oh, Mummy loves it when you stay up all night. 9 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:31,960 OK, bubba. 10 00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:34,380 OK, baby. 11 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,120 (BABY FARTS) Oh! Sc-use you! 12 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:43,480 ♪ We'll make 'em turn their heads 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,600 ♪ Every place we go 14 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,560 ♪ So won't you please 15 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,040 ♪ Be my, be my baby 16 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,776 ♪ Be my little baby... ♪ Oh, fuck! Ahh. 17 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,880 You OK? 18 00:00:56,419 --> 00:00:58,659 Shit. Hey, you OK? (SOBS AND LAUGHS) 19 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:05,080 Hey. Why are you lying in the baby's shit bags? 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,920 - I guess it's comfortable. - Jesus, it fucking stinks! 21 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,320 - Oh, I was clearing up. - But I said I'd do that. 22 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,639 I know. (LAUGHS) 23 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,240 (CHUCKLES) I love you. 24 00:01:15,746 --> 00:01:17,480 I love you, too. 25 00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,633 Hey. Hey. (BABY GURGLES) 26 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,340 Will you marry me? 27 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,200 (LAUGHS) Are you fucking joking? 28 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,780 I... 29 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,500 have never been more serious in my life. 30 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,400 - Yeah. - Yeah? 31 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,280 (CHUCKLES) Yeah! 32 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,680 ♪ BARRETT STRONG: Money (That's What I Want) ♪ 33 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,000 ♪ The best things in life are free... ♪ 34 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,640 Who knows what tomorrow brings? Only the wind. 35 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,240 Who knows why the telephone rings? Only the wind. 36 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,280 Who knows which way the road will turn? 37 00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:02,720 Only the wind. Yeah. 38 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,490 It's a poem by JD Marquis. 39 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,040 I just don't understand 40 00:02:06,257 --> 00:02:09,640 what that's got to do with me telling you that my life's in disarray. 41 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,640 All me mates are fucking sorted, they have a future, 42 00:02:12,686 --> 00:02:15,966 and I'm the fucking late one to the party again, you great twat. 43 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:16,960 Know what I mean? 44 00:02:17,397 --> 00:02:20,655 - Only the wind can tell you that. - Should I go out there now, Christopher, 45 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:21,959 and ask the fucking wind? 46 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,880 Always reminds me of Melinda. (GROANS) 47 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,060 We were in Mexico. Tulum. 48 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:28,239 - You ever been there? - No. 49 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,440 Idiot. 50 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,079 It's amazing. We were on a poetry retreat. 51 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,519 Her idea. She'd rented this eco-cabana on the beach. 52 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,160 We'd been swimming in the ocean. 53 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,599 I'm having a shower and she comes in 54 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,479 and wraps her beautiful arms around me. 55 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,599 And then she slid herself down and... 56 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,919 - Just noshes you off. - ...and pleasures me. 57 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:50,159 And on the wind at that very moment came that poem - to me. 58 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,760 Dude, how in the fuck do you get from MY sadness... 59 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,519 - to YOU being on a beach? - It's all linked, Vinnie. 60 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,239 - It's not fucking linked! - It is. It's all about... 61 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,680 - loss and sorrow and sadness. - I'm leaving. 62 00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:04,146 Fine. 63 00:03:06,506 --> 00:03:08,943 Listen, am I invited to this reception? 64 00:03:11,059 --> 00:03:14,899 ♪ ERNIE K DOE: Here Come The Girls ♪ (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 65 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,360 (CLEARS THROAT) 66 00:03:18,361 --> 00:03:19,600 (ALL GASP) 67 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,597 Oh, my God! 68 00:03:21,598 --> 00:03:25,720 Mate, you look absolutely beautiful. 69 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,999 I look like what I am - tired, with massive tits and dry skin. 70 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,039 - Oh, shut up. - I think you look a million dollars. 71 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,200 Aw. 72 00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:37,559 Cos, you know, she's never been a classic beauty. 73 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:42,119 More of like a quirky quack-quack, quack-quack, quack-quack-quack. 74 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,123 (QUACKS) Thanks, Mum. 75 00:03:43,148 --> 00:03:45,439 (HORN TOOTS) Your chauffeur awaits! Let's go! 76 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,239 (CHEERING) 77 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,239 Oh, my God! 78 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,920 Oh, my God. 79 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,599 And the best part is, we're taking the long way there! 80 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,400 (CHEERING) 81 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,200 ♪ Here come the girls 82 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,860 ♪ Girls, girls, girls 83 00:04:02,885 --> 00:04:04,700 ♪ Here come the girls... ♪ 84 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,560 (PIANO MUSIC IN BACKGROUND) 85 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,200 (WHISPERING) 86 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,160 - Oi, listen. - Don't laugh, right, but... 87 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,759 that registrar, he keeps on gurning. 88 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,360 Look. He's getting a tic. 89 00:04:18,580 --> 00:04:19,960 That's not a fucking tic. 90 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,639 No, that's not a tic. I went out with a fella with a tic once. 91 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:26,319 Gorgeous, he was. Every time he laughed, he..."Ha-ha!" 92 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,119 - Let me guess, you fucked him though? - I did, yeah. 93 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,639 There was no laughing in that bedroom, 94 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,320 I'll tell you that much for free. 95 00:04:32,345 --> 00:04:35,199 - What was his cum face like? - Dude. 96 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,079 Why would I tell you that? 97 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,080 The bride is in the building! 98 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,359 Yeah, let's hope she's not married already. 99 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,640 - For fuck... That's... - Dude, fucking hell, man. 100 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,360 ♪ NANCY WILSON: (You Don't Know) How Glad I Am ♪ 101 00:04:51,775 --> 00:04:53,535 ♪ My love has no beginning... 102 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,960 Ooh, she's fit. 103 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,400 - Yeah. - Eh? 104 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,240 ♪ ..my love won't bend 105 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,519 ♪ I'm in the middle 106 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,119 ♪ Lost in a spin 107 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:08,160 Here she is. Ooh. ♪ Loving you... ♪ 108 00:05:09,987 --> 00:05:12,340 - Mate. - You look great, Sugar. 109 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,280 You look beautiful. 110 00:05:22,719 --> 00:05:24,559 Oh. Liz. Liz. 111 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,960 (MUSIC FADES) 112 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,640 (WHISPERS) 113 00:05:33,047 --> 00:05:35,407 Welcome, everyone. 114 00:05:35,580 --> 00:05:39,319 We're here today to witness Jehan and Mary... 115 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,400 - Mary? - ...formally pledge their love, 116 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,160 to be united in marriage 117 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,119 and offer each other the security that comes 118 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,920 from promises faithfully kept. 119 00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:51,759 - What the fuck? - They are choosing to make 120 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:55,560 a commitment to each other for the rest of their lives. 121 00:05:58,349 --> 00:06:01,759 But first, I call upon any person here present 122 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,920 who knows of any lawful impediment, 123 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,280 to declare it now. 124 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,080 (MUTTERING AND CHUCKLING) Don't say it. 125 00:06:09,659 --> 00:06:11,400 Who has the rings? 126 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,640 - There you go. - Thank you. 127 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,800 Please repeat after me. 128 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,980 Mary... 129 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,519 Mary. 130 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,935 - ...I offer you this ring... - ...I offer you this ring... 131 00:06:27,905 --> 00:06:30,531 ...as a symbol of my love and affection. 132 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,160 Now you, Mary. 133 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,519 - Jehan... - Jehan... 134 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,879 - ...I offer YOU this ring... - ...I offer YOU this ring... 135 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,280 - ...as a symbol of MY love... - ...as a symbol of my love... 136 00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:44,820 - ...and affection. - ...and affection. 137 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,120 You may place them on each other's fingers. 138 00:06:56,346 --> 00:06:57,520 Aw. 139 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,840 You've made an unbreakable bond 140 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,399 in front of guests and witnesses, 141 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:09,720 and declared in law your binding contract of marriage. 142 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,880 And it gives me great pleasure to pronounce you... 143 00:07:15,179 --> 00:07:17,561 ...husband and wife. 144 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,200 (CHEERING) 145 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,440 ♪ LOVE AFFAIR: Everlasting Love ♪ 146 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,160 ♪ Open up your eyes 147 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,400 ♪ Then you'll realise 148 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,680 ♪ Here I stand with my everlasting love 149 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,360 ♪ Need you by my side 150 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,320 ♪ Girl, to be my bride 151 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:40,000 ♪ You'll never be denied everlasting love 152 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,040 ♪ From the very start 153 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,440 ♪ Open up your heart... ♪ 154 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,160 (DANCE MUSIC BLARES) 155 00:07:52,599 --> 00:07:55,239 Oi! Ratboy Slim! 156 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,480 Never mind all this fucking... 157 00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,820 no-words, woo-woo... 158 00:08:00,845 --> 00:08:04,920 acidy fucking grungy garagey shit. 159 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,400 Play one we all know. 160 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,280 Not that kind of DJ, brother. 161 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,800 It's a fucking wedding. 162 00:08:12,279 --> 00:08:15,464 We need something we can sing along to. 163 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,320 - Fucking shut up. - Fucking Come On Eileen. 164 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,040 - Hey, fucking Livin' La Vida Loca. - No. 165 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,735 Mickey by Toni fucking Basil. 166 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,800 - Oh, fucking hell! I'll have a look. - Good. 167 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,003 Ooh, 'ey. No, no. 168 00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:33,641 I have got the fucking perfect song. 169 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,960 Lovely ceremony. Even with the... 170 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,639 - Ah, yeah, thanks. - Are you going on a honeymoon? 171 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,120 Three days in Barcelona. Sugar's mum's gonna look after the baby. 172 00:08:42,153 --> 00:08:44,320 She can barely pull a pint. Is she good at looking after kids? 173 00:08:44,345 --> 00:08:46,520 Nah, but, you know, we'll be on the muscatel, innit. 174 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,600 Anyway, look, I'm sure she will keep him alive. 175 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,160 Ladies and gentlemen, special request. 176 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,600 Bride and groom on the dancefloor, yeah? 177 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,820 Can't believe I'm playing this. 178 00:08:58,013 --> 00:08:59,413 This one... 179 00:08:59,526 --> 00:09:01,526 ♪ HADDAWAY: What Is Love ♪ (CHEERING) 180 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,680 ♪ Baby, don't hurt me 181 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,240 ♪ Don't hurt me no more 182 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,480 Come on! 183 00:09:07,535 --> 00:09:09,775 - ♪ What is love? - Fucking right! 184 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,840 ♪ Baby, don't hurt me 185 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,520 ♪ Don't hurt me no more 186 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,960 ♪ What is love? 187 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,680 ♪ Baby, don't hurt me 188 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,800 - ♪ Don't hurt me no more... ♪ - Oh, bloody hell. 189 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,140 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 190 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:28,280 - Who the fuck's that? - She's fit. I would. 191 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,959 If I was a lesbian, which - trust me - I've considered. 192 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,300 Christ. 193 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,560 Alright, love? 194 00:09:35,813 --> 00:09:39,001 - Vinnie O'Neil? - Yeah. The very same, yeah. 195 00:09:39,599 --> 00:09:41,879 I'm sorry to come to your friends' wedding but... 196 00:09:41,904 --> 00:09:43,624 It's alright. What's going on? 197 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:47,040 - Can I speak to you? - You ARE speaking to me. 198 00:09:47,326 --> 00:09:48,846 Somewhere private. 199 00:09:51,239 --> 00:09:53,000 Yeah. Shall we have a... 200 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,200 Sweetheart... 201 00:10:04,073 --> 00:10:06,033 ..what... what's going on? 202 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,060 It's Dylan. 203 00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:13,420 What about him? 204 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,020 I'm his girlfriend. 205 00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,540 I was. 206 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:26,800 He's dead, Vinnie. 207 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,620 Dylan's dead. 208 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,640 It... It was a bike accident. 209 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,860 What are you talking about? 210 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:40,480 He was on his way to work. A kid ran out, he swerved and... 211 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,300 He just got knocked off. 212 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,359 What are you talking about? 213 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,119 Dylan's never rode a bike in his fucking life. 214 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,860 I'm so sorry, Vin. 215 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:53,660 Vin? 216 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:55,860 What...? 217 00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:00,300 It's Dylan. 218 00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,980 Fuck! 219 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:15,920 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 220 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,239 Look at that. Can you do that? 221 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:21,839 No. Stop delaying. 222 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,760 What about this? (ROBOTICALLY) I am a robot. 223 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,279 (ROBOTIC GRUNTS) 224 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,439 It's a long way down. 225 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,760 That's the thrill of it. 226 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,640 - You go first. - No, we did rock, paper, scissors. 227 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,999 What if it's not deep enough? 228 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,879 Vin, I looked up the depth and that's without the rain we've had. 229 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,439 It's definitely deep enough. 230 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,960 If I end up paraplegic, Dildo, you're the one pushing me around. 231 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,400 Aargh! 232 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,760 (PANTING) It's fucking freezing! 233 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:51,919 Come on! 234 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,520 Nah. I think I'll just smoke this. 235 00:11:55,286 --> 00:11:57,766 - Can I tell you a secret? - Anything. 236 00:11:57,791 --> 00:12:00,320 - I don't ever want to be normal. - How do you mean? 237 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,040 Well, you see them. (ALARMS) 238 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,160 They get up same time every day, 239 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,880 go to a job they hate. 240 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,640 They look unhappy. 241 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:08,999 What's the point of it all? 242 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,320 So shall we make a pact? Never be normal? 243 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,080 Never be normal. 244 00:12:14,512 --> 00:12:16,872 - Never be normal! - Never be normal! 245 00:12:18,532 --> 00:12:20,532 What the fuck? 246 00:12:23,186 --> 00:12:25,200 He talked about you a lot, you know. 247 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,720 And you, Erin, and your little boy. (VINNIE EXHALES) 248 00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:34,900 He was my best friend. How can he not exist? 249 00:12:35,119 --> 00:12:36,220 (LAUGHS) 250 00:12:41,323 --> 00:12:43,000 He missed yous. 251 00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:45,923 (SNIFFLES) 252 00:12:46,603 --> 00:12:48,923 I might just have a bit of a walk. 253 00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:51,563 - Vinnie. - I'm alright. 254 00:12:51,603 --> 00:12:53,920 Vinnie, don't walk off. I don't want you to be on your own. 255 00:12:53,921 --> 00:12:56,600 I'm alright, hon, I'm just... Need a minute. 256 00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:02,700 He, um... 257 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:09,120 He kept this in his wallet. 258 00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:12,523 (GENTLE MUSIC) 259 00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:21,283 ♪ Not really sure how to feel about it 260 00:13:21,323 --> 00:13:25,243 ♪ Something in the way you move 261 00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:31,283 ♪ Makes me feel like I can't live without you 262 00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:32,880 ♪ It... 263 00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:35,600 ♪ ..takes me all the way 264 00:13:35,803 --> 00:13:38,963 ♪ I want you to stay 265 00:13:41,563 --> 00:13:44,483 ♪ Want you to stay 266 00:13:46,723 --> 00:13:49,523 ♪ Round... 267 00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:51,883 ♪ And around and around 268 00:13:51,923 --> 00:13:54,203 ♪ And around we go 269 00:13:56,643 --> 00:13:59,003 ♪ Oh, now tell me now... 270 00:13:59,043 --> 00:14:00,843 'What could possibly go wrong?' 271 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,483 That's the stupidest plan I've heard all year. 272 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:06,483 Yes! (SCREAMING) 273 00:14:07,843 --> 00:14:11,443 - Oh, now we're living! - Could've fucking killed us! 274 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:12,883 - Oh, fuck me! - Jesus! 275 00:14:12,923 --> 00:14:16,203 ♪ The reason I hold on 276 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,403 ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh... 277 00:14:22,523 --> 00:14:24,163 I know you're Tyler's father. 278 00:14:24,203 --> 00:14:27,003 Do you know what? You created a life with her. 279 00:14:27,043 --> 00:14:30,323 And she kept it, man. She kept yours and she got rid of mine. 280 00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:33,523 - ♪ But I'm the only one... - I really miss you, dude. 281 00:14:33,563 --> 00:14:35,043 Be careful.' 282 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,603 Love you, man. 283 00:14:38,363 --> 00:14:41,043 - 'I love you.' - ♪ When you finally see the light 284 00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:47,163 ♪ It's hard to know which one of us is caving 285 00:14:51,363 --> 00:14:54,843 ♪ Not really sure how to feel about it... ♪ 286 00:14:54,883 --> 00:14:57,083 (KNOCKING) 287 00:14:58,096 --> 00:15:00,296 - How are you, Vinnie? - You alright, Carol? 288 00:15:00,803 --> 00:15:02,140 Ah, listen. 289 00:15:02,523 --> 00:15:03,900 I'm so sorry. 290 00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:06,640 No-one should have to lose their best friend. 291 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,880 Everyone's just a bit worried, so I thought I'd see how you were. 292 00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:12,940 Yeah. 293 00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,540 I just wanted to be on my own. 294 00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:22,683 Well, maybe for just an hour. Alright? For the sake of the others. 295 00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:24,220 (SIGHS) 296 00:15:25,683 --> 00:15:26,781 Yeah. 297 00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:29,603 - Yeah? - Mm-hm. 298 00:15:30,003 --> 00:15:31,443 Alright. 299 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,443 ♪ NORTH: Sleeping At Last ♪ 300 00:15:36,116 --> 00:15:40,476 ♪ We will call this place our home 301 00:15:41,936 --> 00:15:46,976 ♪ The dirt in which our roots may grow 302 00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:53,603 ♪ Though the storms will push and pull 303 00:15:54,803 --> 00:16:00,003 ♪ We will call this place our home 304 00:16:01,376 --> 00:16:03,776 ♪ We'll tell our stories... ♪ 305 00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:09,043 Isn't it strange to think that man that you had inside you 306 00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,243 - is not alive any more? - Mum! 307 00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:14,563 Well, it happens to us all, sweetheart. I've got seven of them. 308 00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:15,756 - Christ! - Seven? 309 00:16:15,781 --> 00:16:17,879 Yeah. My list of past lovers. 310 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,520 Yep, seven six feet under. 311 00:16:20,683 --> 00:16:22,603 Maybe you've got a cursed vagina. 312 00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:26,523 You know, in the same way that King Midas had the Midas touch, 313 00:16:26,563 --> 00:16:28,203 you've got the cursed vagina. 314 00:16:28,243 --> 00:16:31,523 Oh, no, actually because there's 44 of them 315 00:16:31,563 --> 00:16:33,203 that's doing totally fine. 316 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,283 Mum, stop talking about your vagina! 317 00:16:35,323 --> 00:16:39,683 So you all know that Dylan's body's being transported back up today? 318 00:16:40,403 --> 00:16:42,923 His parents have asked if I'll do the funeral. 319 00:16:42,963 --> 00:16:45,403 - Fuckin' mad Angie. - What about fucking Ian? 320 00:16:45,450 --> 00:16:48,255 - Oh, I hate the guy. - Who's Ian? 321 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,083 Oh, Dylan's step-dad. He's ex-army. 322 00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:52,643 The fucking worst. 323 00:16:52,683 --> 00:16:55,403 They won't even know what Dylan wants for a funeral, anyway. 324 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,720 Fuck me, we've done it! We already did it. 325 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,080 Who has? 326 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,799 Me and Dylan, right, we planned his funeral - 327 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,360 and mine, actually - when we were 14. 328 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,399 So we stole this car from the estate, 329 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,880 and we'd take it for a ride around the hills. 330 00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:15,519 I took a fucking corner too fast. It spun like crazy. 331 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,280 We end up inches from this 50-foot drop. 332 00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:20,879 Well, it really shat us up, 333 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,240 and all the way home, we talked about bloody funerals. 334 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,639 And then Dylan says... 'Let's write it all down.' 335 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,638 So we got some paper from his mum's telephone pad and wrote down 336 00:17:28,663 --> 00:17:30,160 everything we wanted for our funeral. 337 00:17:30,161 --> 00:17:32,543 I mean, I don't remember what it said, like, 338 00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,135 but we time-capsuled it. 339 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,040 School were doing a project, burying shit for future generations, 340 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,480 so we nicked one of them capsules, 341 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,280 put all our funeral arrangements in it, and buried it. 342 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,040 (LAUGHS) Yeah. Fucking mad. 343 00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:46,000 We should go and dig it up. 344 00:17:46,001 --> 00:17:48,640 Cardi, they were 14, and they were stoned. 345 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,760 Can you imagine what's written on that? 346 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,840 - Loads of dick drawings and that. - Yeah! Exactly. 347 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,240 (BELL DINGS) 348 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,760 - Hi. You must be Dylan's parents. - That's right. 349 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,840 I hope you don't mind, but a couple of his good friends are here 350 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,680 as they'd like to offer their thoughts on his service. 351 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,320 You two cunts. 352 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,920 Still a charmer, Ian. 353 00:18:14,447 --> 00:18:15,647 Ange. 354 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,960 So sorry for your loss, Angie. 355 00:18:19,919 --> 00:18:22,879 I'm sorry for your loss, too, guys. 356 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,425 Not MY loss. He wasn't my kid. 357 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:27,690 If he was MY kid, he would have a proper job, 358 00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:30,610 rather than poncing around gay Brighton on gay bikes, 359 00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:32,570 getting hit by fucking lorries. 360 00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,959 Do they do gay bikes now? They must do 'em. 361 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,650 Is that when one bike likes the sex, 362 00:18:37,690 --> 00:18:39,759 like a bike of his own sex, or something? 363 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,399 - Let's not make a scene. - Vin. 364 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,639 By the way, twat, I want my watch back. 365 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,120 What fucking watch?! 366 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:50,410 The last time you came round with Dylan, you stole my watch. 367 00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:52,570 I never took your fucking watch, you gobshite. 368 00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:55,650 You're a liar and a thief. Fake TAG Heuer. 369 00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:58,490 Me mate's died and you're fucking stood there like a- 370 00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:00,079 - Alright. - Fuckin, he's a knobhead. 371 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,775 - Accusing us of stealing your watch. - Not HIM. YOU. 372 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,079 We're not here to talk about watches, are we? 373 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,700 We're here to talk about Dylan's funeral, alright? 374 00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:12,200 Ange, have you thought about songs or readings or anything? 375 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,380 Because this is no disrespect to you, right... 376 00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:19,160 but I think we might know more than what you do. 377 00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:22,060 That's very kind of you, Erin. 378 00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:26,320 But I've just been crying for my dead son. 379 00:19:27,873 --> 00:19:30,180 A mother should never outlive her child. 380 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,780 I brought him in and I'll take him out. 381 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,719 And, frankly, from the woman who aborted his child, 382 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,920 and the man who stole Tyler's fatherhood from him... 383 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,660 You think he never told me anything, Vinnie? Well, he DID. 384 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,160 He left because of YOU. 385 00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:49,180 And now I'll never see him again. 386 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,580 I couldn't care less what you pricks want. In fact... 387 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,380 we don't even want you there. 388 00:20:01,026 --> 00:20:03,106 I'd like to see my boy now. 389 00:20:04,353 --> 00:20:05,900 This way. 390 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,240 Fuckers! I'm telling you, there's no way they're getting Dylan. 391 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,079 We're throwing Dylan a fucking funeral - 392 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,039 the funeral HE would have wanted. 393 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,840 - Come on. - Wankers! 394 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,959 - Did you steal the watch? - Yeah, I stole his fucking watch! 395 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,679 Listen, all we have to do is jump the fence, 396 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,280 go to the field behind the staffroom and dig up the fuckin' time capsule. 397 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:34,960 - Dude. - What? 398 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,879 - Give over. - Shh! 399 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,960 Stop fucking pretending to be Steven Seagal on every shaggin' job. 400 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,559 Steven Seagal, he was an awful ride when he was young. 401 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,239 Listen to me. Listen. 402 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,839 I want you two here keeping dog-eye. 403 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,360 Me and Dickhead are gonna dig up some gardens. 404 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,519 Be safe back here. It's gonna be crazy out there. 405 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,519 What if someone comes? We're gonna need a signal. 406 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,479 - Bark like a dog. - But what if a REAL dog barks? 407 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,720 Good point. Let's hear your dog bark. 408 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,080 (UN-DOG-LIKE GROWLING) 409 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,840 - He's a big, sexy lad, in't he? - Yeah, that's good. 410 00:21:04,210 --> 00:21:05,590 - Ruff! - Jesus! 411 00:21:05,685 --> 00:21:07,175 - Ruff! - Go with that one. 412 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,920 High pitched, we'll know it's you. 413 00:21:08,945 --> 00:21:10,253 It's really nice. Let's go. 414 00:21:10,278 --> 00:21:12,119 Stop carrying 'em like that. Doesn't look cool. 415 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:13,720 - You look like a stripper. - Ruff! 416 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,780 Oh, shit. 417 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,740 There's a fucking shed. 418 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,280 I take it the shed wasn't there before, no? 419 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,060 - It's a new development. - Ah. What do we do so? 420 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,520 Oh, just fuck it. 421 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,360 Fuck's in there, dude? (ANIMAL BLEATS) 422 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,200 - I don't know. - They've got animals. 423 00:21:34,253 --> 00:21:36,000 They can't even look after fucking kids. 424 00:21:36,025 --> 00:21:37,535 Oh. Big, large dogs. 425 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,550 - They're GOATS, you fucking pranny. - Right. Sorry. 426 00:21:40,607 --> 00:21:41,887 Fuck me! 427 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,399 Come on. You're alright. 428 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,280 (BLEATING) Get out. 429 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,599 How deep down is it? (SHOVEL HITS METAL) 430 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,919 - Oh, Vin, Vin, Vin. - You're having a giraffe. 431 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,520 Listen, listen. 432 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,760 (TAPPING ON METAL) 433 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,920 Ohh! (LAUGHS) 434 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,480 Dude, no fucking way! 435 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,600 (BOTH GASP AND LAUGH) 436 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,560 - I don't fucking believe it, dude. - Is this your one? 437 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,240 Course it's fucking MY one! 438 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,880 - How the fuck... - Get the fuck up. 439 00:22:15,925 --> 00:22:18,768 - But there could be multiples. - Get your spade. 440 00:22:23,206 --> 00:22:24,646 Oh, shit. 441 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,840 Which one's mine? Is it that one? Stop looking. I think it's that one. 442 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,279 - Are we not gonna read... - No, you can't! 443 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,599 - You can read it when I'm dead! - Aren't you gonna read it yourself? 444 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,960 No! No, it's going behind the shack. 445 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,999 Putting it back in here, behind the shack. 446 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,450 - If I die, you know where it is. - Alright, there's two lists. 447 00:22:40,690 --> 00:22:43,919 One is for the funeral and one is for his ashes. 448 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,655 Jesus Christ, you lads went into s bit of detail! 449 00:22:46,815 --> 00:22:48,975 We were in a bad way. Stoned. 450 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,480 We can't do all THAT. 451 00:22:50,548 --> 00:22:52,155 You sure you was only fucking stoned? 452 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,560 - We'd just nearly died. - I mean, Jesus Christ. 453 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,880 - Is that even fucking possible? - Circus-themed party. Jesus. 454 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,720 As long as we give him a fitting send-off, 455 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,800 - we don't have to do ALL of it. - No, we DO. 456 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,360 We DO have to do all of it. 457 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,200 We have to do every fucking bit. 458 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,040 - TOMMY: It's what he would've wanted. - Here he is! 459 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,400 (CHEERING) 460 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,040 Hello, it's me! I'm back! 461 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,680 DAVEY: I'm sorry to hear about your friend's accident, Vincent. 462 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,280 (SNORTING) 463 00:23:16,787 --> 00:23:20,307 That's a selfish line, in't it? Fuck me. 464 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,600 I was very fond of Dylan. 465 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,520 It's ironic, of course, after so long you thought I'd killed him, 466 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,520 and he gets knocked over by a truck. 467 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,519 Yeah, well, that is if it WAS a fucking accident, dude. 468 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,960 - Christ. - Are you kidding me? 469 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,519 I wouldn't be seen dead driving a truck. 470 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,280 Well, does it not seem like a bit of a coincidence 471 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,200 that McCann gets the bloody hump about this statue 472 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,960 and then the next thing you know, poor Dylan's dead, in't he? 473 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,180 Yeah, I think it IS a coincidence, and shall I tell you why? 474 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,240 Because he doesn't want Dylan. 475 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,560 He wants YOU, Vincent. 476 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,840 Fucking meaning what? 477 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:54,900 Meaning he wants you dead. 478 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,080 And he's asked ME to facilitate it. 479 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,860 Shit. 480 00:24:03,140 --> 00:24:05,680 You put him inside for a long time 481 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,460 and every single day, he festers on it. 482 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,440 I'm only surprised he's not asked me to do it sooner. 483 00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:15,300 Alright, so what are you gonna do about it? 484 00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:18,800 What do you think I should do about it? Hmm? 485 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,080 Shit, I'd rather you didn't fucking kill me. 486 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:22,975 I've got stuff to do. Know what I mean? 487 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,920 OK, let's just say that I DON'T kill you. 488 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,678 Do you really think Terence McCann 489 00:24:27,703 --> 00:24:29,343 is gonna throw his hands up in the air 490 00:24:29,370 --> 00:24:31,200 and go, "Oh, well, never mind"? 491 00:24:31,201 --> 00:24:32,860 Don't be daft, Vincent. 492 00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:36,319 - You're stuck with it. - Shit. 493 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,100 You're gonna be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. 494 00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:47,039 You ever played Russian Roulette, Vincent? 495 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:50,060 No, funnily enough, I fucking haven't. 496 00:24:50,540 --> 00:24:52,300 Oh, it's a good game. 497 00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:54,780 One bullet... 498 00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:56,540 five chambers... 499 00:24:57,140 --> 00:24:59,530 What's that now? A tiny percentage. 500 00:24:59,570 --> 00:25:01,340 20% chance? 501 00:25:06,610 --> 00:25:07,860 Fuck, no. 502 00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:11,240 - No? - Fuckin' no. 503 00:25:11,665 --> 00:25:13,255 - Go on. - No! Fuck that. 504 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,330 - No? - Give over. No. 505 00:25:15,370 --> 00:25:16,280 - No? - No! 506 00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:18,039 - Don't be stupid! - No? 507 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,999 - Davey, don't, dude! Don't! - Bang! 508 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,780 What the fuck?! 509 00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:26,835 You're a fucking lunatic. 510 00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:30,119 See, we're cautious creatures, human beings, Vincent. 511 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,340 But the ones that reap the rewards... 512 00:25:32,940 --> 00:25:34,740 ..the ones that prosper... 513 00:25:36,820 --> 00:25:39,340 ..they're the ones that take the biggest chances. 514 00:25:46,750 --> 00:25:49,070 You were there for me when my brother died. 515 00:25:49,863 --> 00:25:51,663 You were very kind. 516 00:25:52,783 --> 00:25:55,503 And now you need a return on that kindness. 517 00:25:58,110 --> 00:26:00,870 If I take care of your McCann problem... 518 00:26:01,343 --> 00:26:04,060 ..then I want you to remember what I have done for you. 519 00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:07,420 Right? 520 00:26:07,445 --> 00:26:09,000 - Mm. - Look at me. 521 00:26:09,025 --> 00:26:10,300 Yeah. Yes. 522 00:26:14,257 --> 00:26:17,303 Now you go and give your friend a fantastic send-off! 523 00:26:17,328 --> 00:26:18,470 Alright. 524 00:26:20,750 --> 00:26:22,550 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 525 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,340 Just tell me now, would it be deeply unethical 526 00:26:35,540 --> 00:26:37,580 if we were to give Dildo's mum 527 00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:40,559 the coffin without Dildo being in it? 528 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,399 Uh, yes! Unethical. Unthinkable. We could lose our licence. 529 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,823 That's only if someone finds out that it's happened. 530 00:26:46,823 --> 00:26:49,840 You know, in my admittedly limited experience... 531 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,799 people do generally assume that their relative 532 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,599 is, you know, residing in the box. 533 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,480 I know they never check, but - bitch or not - 534 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,679 she's Dylan's mum and she deserves the decency of having him in there. 535 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,020 Meena's right. 536 00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:04,540 Shit. 537 00:27:04,820 --> 00:27:07,279 Ooh, fuck me! Alright, alright. 538 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,439 Alright. What about if we share the bugger? 539 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,360 How do you mean? 540 00:27:11,385 --> 00:27:13,360 You've got two fucking rooms, ain't ya, 541 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:14,599 in the crematorium. 542 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,440 Yeah, they're always double-banking ceremonies. 543 00:27:16,465 --> 00:27:17,543 Get this, right. 544 00:27:17,568 --> 00:27:21,999 So, Dildo's mum has her funeral. The coffin goes through the curtain. 545 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,479 We take him on the other side of the curtain in the other room, 546 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,000 and we do our own fucking funeral half an hour later. 547 00:27:28,270 --> 00:27:30,719 - D'you know what I mean? - Or, actually... 548 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,319 - I'm sorry. That's fucking genius. - And on a serious note, 549 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,919 we kind of need some ashes as well. 550 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,300 Hang on. Won't Dylan's mum want the ashes? 551 00:27:38,580 --> 00:27:39,999 Yeah, we can't share those. 552 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,039 Unless we CAN, in which case, we will do that. 553 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:45,159 Oh, no, ashes are ashes. We'll just give some spares we have. 554 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,199 You've got spare ashes knocking about? 555 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,240 People don't bother collecting them. 556 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,999 Some tell us to chuck 'em in t'bin. 557 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,660 Not everyone's that loved. 558 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,860 - Oh. - Dark. 559 00:27:55,256 --> 00:27:56,840 We've got a fucking funeral to sort out. 560 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,340 Come on. Get yourselves together. 561 00:27:58,580 --> 00:28:01,719 To be honest, that looks like a Missing Person's poster. 562 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,199 No, it's gonna stand out because it's white. 563 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,439 - I think the blue stands out. - It will get lost. 564 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,920 ♪ THE WHO: Baba O'Riley ♪ 565 00:28:11,580 --> 00:28:13,260 Hayley Carver. 566 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,000 Vinnie did say that Dylan was very, very smitten with her. 567 00:28:16,177 --> 00:28:17,719 Captain of the netball team. 568 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,879 We used to call her the Medusa of midfield defence. 569 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,180 One look at her playing could turn your cock to stone. 570 00:28:25,060 --> 00:28:26,159 Avanti. 571 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,360 (KNOCKING) 572 00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:33,399 - Hayley? - No. I'm from next-door. 573 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,000 - She's been looking after my iguanas. - Is Hayley there? 574 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,400 Who's asking? 575 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,520 It's... It's me... 576 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,959 It's me. It's Thom... Thom... Thom... Thom... Thomas Schaffner. 577 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,320 Tiny Tom? 578 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,140 Tiny tosspot Tommy? 579 00:28:49,540 --> 00:28:51,919 Turdy tit head Tommy twat face with his tiny- 580 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,879 Yeah, that's the one... Yeah. 581 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,480 Oh, Hayley, sadly we are the bearers of very, very sad news. 582 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,519 Your old classmate, and our dear, dear friend, 583 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,880 Dylan Golding has died. 584 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,520 - Dildo? - He has a request for you. 585 00:29:06,167 --> 00:29:08,167 From beyond the grave. 586 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,440 ♪ Sally, take my hand 587 00:29:13,373 --> 00:29:15,133 ♪ We'll travel south cross land... ♪ 588 00:29:15,158 --> 00:29:18,278 Yeah, the cat shat in his food, and he died of E. coli. 589 00:29:18,303 --> 00:29:20,520 (LAUGHS) That's crazy, man. 590 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,360 - Hey Donny, Dave. - Ash? You've got some nerve. 591 00:29:24,385 --> 00:29:26,839 If Beasley finds out you're here, he'll kill you. 592 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,759 Never mind that. I've got a job for you. 593 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,279 It's a cash-in-hand kinda situation. 594 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,820 Involving what? 595 00:29:33,740 --> 00:29:38,720 ♪ Let's get together before we get much older 596 00:29:42,719 --> 00:29:45,560 - I'm gonna go across the road. - OK. 597 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,439 That's for Dylan's funeral, so if you can make it... 598 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:52,880 Or not. Whatever. 599 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,660 Told you he'd be dead, didn't I? 600 00:29:56,980 --> 00:29:58,780 You prick! 601 00:29:59,995 --> 00:30:02,415 - Will there be food and drink after? - I'm gonna kill him. 602 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,080 - I am gonna kill yer. - Come on. Come on. 603 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,300 (GROWLS) 604 00:30:11,857 --> 00:30:13,777 I have it on very good authority 605 00:30:13,817 --> 00:30:17,615 that you're like Pablo Pi-fucking-casso when it comes to drones. 606 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,857 I need something very, very specific. 607 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:23,500 Buy me a white wine spritzer and I'm all ears. 608 00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:35,759 I don't want to make a big thing of it. I'll just show you. 609 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,359 - Jesus! - Yeah. Yeah. Just let us in. 610 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,300 - Jesus. - OK. Thank you. 611 00:30:41,367 --> 00:30:44,240 Can't have rats in a fireworks factory, can you? 612 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,815 The workers clock off at 5:30, so... 613 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,479 ...we can go and set some traps, 614 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,580 while you go and find a decent hiding place somewhere. 615 00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:54,020 Disabled toilet. No one goes in 'em. 616 00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:56,900 Well, except for, like, disabled people, Jim, eh? 617 00:30:56,940 --> 00:30:59,260 That's prime shitting real estate. 618 00:30:59,940 --> 00:31:01,999 Stop fucking arguing about toilets. 619 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,449 Listen, go and fucking lay some traps, pair of you. Spread out. 620 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:06,959 Look like you're meant to be here. 621 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,780 - Go. - Oh, fuck dude. 622 00:31:08,820 --> 00:31:11,020 - I'm doing it. - You're dumb as fuck. 623 00:31:11,060 --> 00:31:12,520 Does my head in. 624 00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:14,160 Fucking old twat. 625 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,420 Makes you think, don't it? 626 00:31:18,740 --> 00:31:20,300 Someone dying. 627 00:31:20,820 --> 00:31:23,740 Have you achieved everything you wanted to do? 628 00:31:24,060 --> 00:31:25,260 Yeah, man. 629 00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:27,580 Gotta live true to yourself. 630 00:31:27,860 --> 00:31:29,740 Gotta know real love, and... 631 00:31:30,224 --> 00:31:33,260 ..you know, bring joy to the hearts of others. 632 00:31:34,140 --> 00:31:35,900 I wanna do bukkake. 633 00:31:37,100 --> 00:31:38,500 I've asked around but... 634 00:31:38,740 --> 00:31:41,060 it's not that easy to arrange. 635 00:31:41,940 --> 00:31:43,359 You've "asked around"? 636 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,240 In the pub, in farmers' forums. 637 00:31:46,893 --> 00:31:50,220 - Yeah, no takers? - Not a fucking sniff. 638 00:31:51,699 --> 00:31:53,299 Right, so just to clarify, 639 00:31:53,324 --> 00:31:55,600 who is it who's being jizzed on? 640 00:31:56,140 --> 00:31:57,420 You? 641 00:31:57,940 --> 00:32:00,560 Yeah. Not saying I'd like it. 642 00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:04,020 - So let's just leave it at that. - Yeah, let's. 643 00:32:05,020 --> 00:32:06,220 Hey up. 644 00:32:06,980 --> 00:32:09,599 WORKER: Wayne, I'm off! See you tomorrow. 645 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,360 Alright, see you tomorrow. 646 00:32:22,380 --> 00:32:25,279 (ELECTRONIC VOICE) 'Security alert. You are on camera. 647 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,360 Authorisation coded needed.' 648 00:32:28,939 --> 00:32:31,199 4-5... 1-8. 649 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,679 'Incorrect. You have two attempts remaining.' 650 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,057 - Shit! - Vinnie, what's going on? 651 00:32:36,057 --> 00:32:39,560 - Can't you open the fucking shutters? - I can't open the fucking shutters. 652 00:32:39,561 --> 00:32:42,679 There's a fucking security robot. He's a dick. 653 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,560 - 'Incorrect. One attempt remaining.' - Fuck off! 654 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:49,119 'Incorrect. Security breach. Security breach. Security breach. 655 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,680 You must leave the premises immediately.' 656 00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:52,900 Argh! 657 00:32:53,220 --> 00:32:55,260 'Security breach. Security breach. 658 00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:57,399 - Security breach.' - Fuck's sake, dude! 659 00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,240 Hang on. Jesus Christ! 660 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,020 'You must leave the premises immediately.' 661 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:04,180 Fucking stupid thing. 662 00:33:12,136 --> 00:33:15,820 - What the fuck you doing? - There's a fucking AI robot, dude. 663 00:33:15,860 --> 00:33:18,285 'Sensor down! Sensor down! 664 00:33:19,906 --> 00:33:21,466 No intel. 665 00:33:21,491 --> 00:33:23,571 Please notify manufacturer.' 666 00:33:24,913 --> 00:33:26,320 I've fixed it. 667 00:33:40,996 --> 00:33:43,140 (ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) 668 00:33:59,913 --> 00:34:01,473 Christ. 669 00:34:02,700 --> 00:34:04,279 (MESSAGE ALERT) Shit. 670 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,679 Oi. Oi! Get in t'cars and that. 671 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,540 I'm gonna ring that bloke, the Drone King geezer. 672 00:34:10,450 --> 00:34:13,040 Rocking and rolling. Get in there, Thomas. 673 00:34:13,310 --> 00:34:15,860 Summat different about you today. 674 00:34:23,660 --> 00:34:26,100 ♪ Running through the heat, heartbeat 675 00:34:26,140 --> 00:34:29,340 ♪ You shine like silver in the sunlight 676 00:34:29,380 --> 00:34:32,140 ♪ You light up my cold heart 677 00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:36,260 ♪ It feels right in the sun, the sun 678 00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,740 ♪ We're running around and 'round 679 00:34:38,780 --> 00:34:42,300 ♪ Like nothing else could matter in our lives 680 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:45,700 ♪ But wait, but wait, but wait... (DRONES BUZZ) 681 00:34:45,740 --> 00:34:48,420 ♪ The sun will stop shining soon 682 00:34:48,460 --> 00:34:52,340 ♪ And you'll be dark in my life 683 00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:55,380 ♪ Yeah, you'll be gone 684 00:34:55,420 --> 00:34:58,380 ♪ It's as simple as a change of heart 685 00:34:59,260 --> 00:35:02,420 ♪ But I'm not gonna think about the future 686 00:35:02,460 --> 00:35:06,980 ♪ A love like this won't last forever 687 00:35:08,980 --> 00:35:12,340 ♪ I know that a love like this 688 00:35:12,380 --> 00:35:15,100 ♪ Won't last forever... ♪ 689 00:35:15,700 --> 00:35:17,700 He wanted skywriting. 690 00:35:18,660 --> 00:35:20,660 It's classy. Very classy. 691 00:35:28,867 --> 00:35:30,260 Ahh. 692 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,260 (THEY LAUGH) 693 00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:40,020 It's less classy now, obviously. 694 00:35:46,646 --> 00:35:49,660 But now it's time to say a final goodbye, 695 00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:52,780 committing Dylan's body to its resting place 696 00:35:52,820 --> 00:35:55,420 and thus his memory to our hearts. 697 00:35:55,940 --> 00:35:58,300 In love, we leave him in peace. 698 00:35:58,540 --> 00:36:01,380 And with respect, we bid him farewell. 699 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,720 (CURTAIN MOTOR WHIRS) 700 00:36:41,260 --> 00:36:43,260 (WHIRRING) 701 00:36:50,193 --> 00:36:52,140 Listen. Er... 702 00:36:53,367 --> 00:36:55,660 The first time I met this bugger... 703 00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:59,380 ..I was only little. 704 00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:04,100 (SOBS) And I knew he was special. 705 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:09,120 They say opposites attract, and they definitely did. 706 00:37:10,140 --> 00:37:14,060 He was sensible... and handsome... 707 00:37:15,740 --> 00:37:17,100 ..clever. 708 00:37:17,580 --> 00:37:20,300 But when we were together, we were the same. 709 00:37:20,340 --> 00:37:24,780 You know... we made a pact, when we were little... 710 00:37:27,500 --> 00:37:29,319 ..that we'd never live a normal life. 711 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,839 I mean, fucking boring 9:00 to 5:00, 712 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,380 every fucking day starts looking the same, you know? 713 00:37:38,420 --> 00:37:40,740 But I do... I realise now, that... 714 00:37:41,260 --> 00:37:44,320 people do need a bit of normality... 715 00:37:45,626 --> 00:37:49,120 ..and just someone to love... 716 00:37:50,700 --> 00:37:53,000 ..and someone to love them, too. 717 00:37:53,820 --> 00:37:55,620 Somewhere to go, 718 00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:59,620 somewhere you can call your own, you know? 719 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,560 And Dylan wasn't much different. 720 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,840 Life with me... 721 00:38:06,896 --> 00:38:09,079 ..it was too chaotic for him. 722 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,500 It was too scary. I think he was always... 723 00:38:12,460 --> 00:38:14,239 ..he was always panicked 724 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:17,020 that something fucking terrible might happen. 725 00:38:19,613 --> 00:38:21,140 Er... 726 00:38:22,780 --> 00:38:26,960 ...I just hope that in his final moments, you know, he was... 727 00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:30,300 ..he was happy... 728 00:38:31,660 --> 00:38:35,600 ..and he had some love in his heart, you know? 729 00:38:50,980 --> 00:38:52,180 Um... 730 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,340 ..he wouldn't have wanted today to be sad. 731 00:38:55,660 --> 00:38:57,599 - No. - No. 732 00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,559 In fact, he, erm... 733 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,560 he wanted it to be quite fun. 734 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:03,959 Um... 735 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:07,260 You all have a box in front of you, so if you'd like to open it... 736 00:39:10,980 --> 00:39:12,800 Oh, fucking hell. 737 00:39:13,206 --> 00:39:15,120 - Come on. - You're fucking joking me. 738 00:39:18,515 --> 00:39:22,780 And let's give the best goodbye 739 00:39:23,020 --> 00:39:25,140 to the beautiful man that was... 740 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,360 ..Dylan Golding. 741 00:39:28,140 --> 00:39:29,340 Dylan. 742 00:39:30,740 --> 00:39:32,220 Come on, let's sit down. 743 00:39:35,126 --> 00:39:37,006 Come on, up, up, up... 744 00:39:37,959 --> 00:39:40,399 (MUSIC PLAYS) (CHEERING) 745 00:39:43,260 --> 00:39:47,660 ♪ I'm sitting on top of the world 746 00:39:47,713 --> 00:39:50,193 ♪ I'm rolling along 747 00:39:50,220 --> 00:39:53,120 ♪ Yes, rolling along 748 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,440 - ♪ And I'm quitting... - Lynda? Who's Lynda? 749 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:57,999 ♪ ..the blues of the world 750 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,479 ♪ I'm singing a song 751 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,079 ♪ Yes, singing a song 752 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,159 ♪ "Glory hallelujah," I just told the Parson 753 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,260 ♪ "Hey, Par, get ready to call" 754 00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:13,959 ♪ Just like Humpty Dumpty, I'm going to fall 755 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:18,439 ♪ And I'm sitting on top of the world 756 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,119 ♪ I'm rolling along 757 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,519 ♪ Rolling along 758 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,740 ♪ Don't want any millions 759 00:40:26,140 --> 00:40:28,420 ♪ I'm getting my share 760 00:40:28,660 --> 00:40:31,199 ♪ I've only got one suit, just one 761 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,919 ♪ That's all I can wear 762 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,239 ♪ A bundle of money 763 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:38,919 ♪ Don't make me feel gay 764 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:44,399 ♪ A sweet little honey is making me say 765 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:49,199 ♪ And I'm sitting, sitting on top, top of the world 766 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,759 ♪ I'm rolling along 767 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,900 ♪ Rolling along 768 00:40:54,947 --> 00:40:59,680 ♪ And I'm quitting, quitting the blues, blues of the world 769 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,620 ♪ I'm singing a song 770 00:41:02,660 --> 00:41:04,820 ♪ Just singing a song 771 00:41:04,860 --> 00:41:08,060 ♪ "Glory hallelujah," I just told the Parson 772 00:41:08,100 --> 00:41:10,919 ♪ "Hey, Par, get ready to call" 773 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:15,100 ♪ Just like Humpty Dumpty, I'm going to fall 774 00:41:15,140 --> 00:41:20,420 ♪ And, yeah, I'm sitting on top, top of the world 775 00:41:20,460 --> 00:41:23,180 ♪ I'm rolling along 776 00:41:23,220 --> 00:41:26,020 ♪ Rolling along. ♪ 777 00:41:26,060 --> 00:41:28,060 (FIREWORKS POP AND WHISTLE) 778 00:41:28,100 --> 00:41:30,100 (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 779 00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:38,740 He was a wonderful man. 780 00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:41,340 He was. 781 00:41:43,340 --> 00:41:46,000 - I can see why he loved you all. - Mm. 782 00:41:50,546 --> 00:41:51,919 Oh, shit. 783 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,479 - Hm? - I'll just be a minute. 784 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:55,880 Fuck. 785 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,000 My condolences. 786 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,520 Thanks, man. 787 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,000 McCann is no more. 788 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:20,240 Toodle-pip, sweetheart. 789 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:21,920 Er... 790 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,260 The King is dead, Donna. 791 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:31,980 Long live the King. 792 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,520 (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER CONTINUES) 793 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,240 Here we go... (FIREWORKS POP) 794 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,280 (CHEERING) Fucking hell. 795 00:42:46,220 --> 00:42:48,500 ♪ BRENTON WOOD: The Oogum Boogum Song ♪ 796 00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:59,015 ♪ Oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum Boogum now, baby, you're casting... 797 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,600 Drum roll, drum roll. 798 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,160 Ohh! 799 00:43:03,219 --> 00:43:06,479 OK, quiet down in there, Ash. (LAUGHS) 800 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,620 (CHEERING AND WHOOPING) Come on! 801 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:15,280 ♪ You got me doin' funny things like a clown 802 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,040 ♪ Just look at me... 803 00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:22,359 - VINNIE: Have you got everything? - Yeah. 804 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:23,440 Are you ready to rock? 805 00:43:23,465 --> 00:43:26,976 Make sure YOU'VE got everything, because this is one hell of a walk. 806 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,255 I'm ready for it. 807 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,615 ♪ And you wear that cute mini skirt 808 00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,960 ♪ With your brother's sloppy shirt... ♪ 809 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,159 I tell you what, I never thought he'd be the first to die, you know. 810 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,440 - Who'd you think WOULD be? - This cunt here. 811 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,880 Deranged fucking sex act, definitely- 812 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,160 It has come very close, believe you me. 813 00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:44,920 (LAUGHTER) 814 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,500 I can see it! 815 00:43:47,060 --> 00:43:50,519 - Come on, let's go. Come on. - Last one up the hill's a knobhead! 816 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,895 Jesus fucking Christ. Thank God for that. 817 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,880 Oh, it looks gorgeous. Come on. 818 00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:57,360 Oh, it's freezing. 819 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,640 Sickness. Come on. 820 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,159 CARDI: Woo, look at it. 821 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,880 Come on, let's have it. Are you having it? Yeah, man. 822 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,700 It's a good-sized dick, in't it? 823 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,480 Right, according to Dylan's instructions, 824 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,080 he wanted this to be his final resting place. 825 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:21,039 OK? And his ashes, I quote, he wants 'em sprinkled... 826 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,015 "like cum coming out of the giant chalk man's dick". 827 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:25,360 Classy. Classy. 828 00:44:25,622 --> 00:44:29,400 So, going with 14-year-old Dyl's bloody wishes... 829 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,520 let's jizz it out. Just give us an 'and with t'fucking wind. 830 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,559 I don't want it coming out of his balls. Ready? 831 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,680 Yeah. 832 00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:38,559 - Oh, shit, it's coming back. - It's in my mouth. 833 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,520 It's gone in my face a bit. 834 00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,280 I've eaten him. I've eaten a bit of Dylan. 835 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,159 - Not for the first time. - It tastes handsome. 836 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,640 Come on now. Bring it in. 837 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:52,080 Give us some bloody love, will yer? Come on, Erin! 838 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,600 Erin, let's have a minute. Come on. 839 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,320 Aw, for Dildo. 840 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,160 ♪ SUPERGRASS: Sun Hits The Sky ♪ 841 00:45:05,803 --> 00:45:08,519 Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Dead Dylan Tours. 842 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:09,839 This is your skipper speaking. 843 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,799 - Say hello, Ashley. - Hello, Ashley. 844 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,400 Very good. That's the first joke of the day. 845 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,280 Hope you're feeling fresh, fun and fruity. 846 00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,720 ♪ I am a doctor 847 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,079 ♪ I'll be your doctor... 848 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,420 Having fun back there? Scream if you want to go faster. 849 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,320 (ALL CHEER) 850 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,200 ♪ Live for the right things... ♪ 851 00:45:34,240 --> 00:45:36,560 (TYRE POPS) (ALL SCREAM AND YELL) 852 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,600 (BUS CREAKS) 853 00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:46,799 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 854 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:50,120 Dickhead. What are you doing? Stay still. Stay still. 855 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:54,100 Oh, no. No, no, no. Fuck, we're literally on the fucking edge. 856 00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:00,319 We need to be down that end. 857 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,480 But nobody make any sudden movements! Cardi! 858 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,460 - Cardi. - Stop moving. 859 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,800 Shh. (BUS CREAKS) 860 00:46:07,423 --> 00:46:10,479 Listen. Any sudden movements, we're going over. 861 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,599 Slowly... Slowly to the front of the bus. 862 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,700 Really fucking slow. 863 00:46:16,460 --> 00:46:18,679 Erin, really slow, sweetheart. 864 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,300 It's alright. You're alright. It's alright. 865 00:46:22,833 --> 00:46:25,159 Come on. Come on. That's it. 866 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,839 - Lovely. - It's alright. 867 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,240 - Come on. Yeah, yeah. - Slow. Slow, slow, slow, slow, slow. 868 00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:31,639 Really slow. 869 00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:33,340 Oh, fuck. 870 00:46:33,820 --> 00:46:35,999 Well, that's not good. Shit. 871 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,440 It's the fucking beer. 872 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,359 It's fucking gonna tip us over the other end. 873 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,879 I need to reduce some weight from down this fucking end. Bastard. 874 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:48,540 I'm gonna crawl on my belly and I'm gonna hand shit back, one by one. 875 00:46:48,565 --> 00:46:50,000 - Fucking hell. - Yeah? 876 00:46:50,193 --> 00:46:51,473 Oh, God. Be careful. 877 00:46:51,498 --> 00:46:54,178 Oh, shit. 878 00:46:55,293 --> 00:46:57,500 Vinnie, be careful. Go slow. 879 00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,240 (BUS CREAKS) 880 00:47:02,321 --> 00:47:04,055 Vinnie, for heaven's sake. 881 00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,159 - I can't look, guys. - I can't even look. 882 00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,520 I feel sick. 883 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,160 Come on. You're grand. You're grand. 884 00:47:10,780 --> 00:47:12,480 Oh, fuck. 885 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,760 (BUS RUMBLES) (ALL MOAN) 886 00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:20,480 (BUS CREAKS) 887 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:26,359 Fucking hell. Shit. 888 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:28,240 Just give me a minute. Just give me a minute. 889 00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:29,839 - What? Why? - Come back up. 890 00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:31,400 Where's that fucking joint? 891 00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,439 - Don't you dare. - Don't you fucking dare! 892 00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,720 I just... Shut up. Fucking getting a spliff. 893 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:38,559 - What are you doing?! - Fucking hell. 894 00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:42,399 I fucking need to think. Don't I? Just... Just do me a solid. 895 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:44,439 Move as far back as you can. 896 00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:46,119 - What now, move back? - I know there's no room. 897 00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,519 Just squidge. Let's move back a little bit. 898 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,960 - Lean back! Lean back! - Just a little bit, yeah? 899 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:52,320 Are you OK? 900 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,079 OTHERS: Yeah. 901 00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:57,320 Alright, where's me fucking lighter? Fucking hell. 902 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,020 Oh, fucking shit! 903 00:48:03,399 --> 00:48:05,479 (ALL SCREAM) 904 00:48:07,455 --> 00:48:09,119 Shit! 905 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:13,720 ♪ What a way to end it all 906 00:48:13,745 --> 00:48:16,825 Sub extracted from file & improved by Se7enOfNin9 for addic7ed.com 907 00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:20,960 ♪ What a way to end it all 908 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:22,920 ♪ What a way to end it all 909 00:48:23,073 --> 00:48:25,193 ♪ Goodbye, cruel world 910 00:48:25,813 --> 00:48:28,053 ♪ And cheerio 911 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,720 ♪ Through all this time 912 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,640 ♪ I've got to go 913 00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:38,080 ♪ What a way to end it all... ♪