1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,190 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 2 00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:07,670 Very clever...(LAUGHTER) 3 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,310 (LAUGHTER) 4 00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:13,510 Right, who's responsible?! 5 00:00:13,550 --> 00:00:14,710 O'Neill, sir. 6 00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:16,830 Vincent? Nothing to do with me, sir. 7 00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:19,030 Oh, really? So, Carl's lying, is he? 8 00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:20,070 Yeah, he's lying. 9 00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:22,990 And he better take it back, cos that's thingy... liable. 10 00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:25,990 Slander.Slander. 11 00:00:26,030 --> 00:00:27,030 Come up here! 12 00:00:27,830 --> 00:00:29,390 Show me your hands... 13 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:31,150 What? HANDS! 14 00:00:31,870 --> 00:00:34,430 I can explain... Caught red-handed. 15 00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:38,710 You're a liar, O'Neill, and liars need to be punished. 16 00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:42,630 (ALL EXCLAIM)Here we go... 17 00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:45,230 Say sorry to Humfrey. 18 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:48,150 Thing is, Mr Bates, he's essentially a trainer. 19 00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,190 Yes... 20 00:00:49,230 --> 00:00:53,230 And if he doesn't get an apology, he gets TREMENDOUSLY ANGRY! 21 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,910 All right, I'm sorry! To Humfrey! 22 00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:57,270 Sorry... trainer. 23 00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:59,870 Say his name! I'm not saying his name! 24 00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,710 Does he have to say his name? ALL: Yes! 25 00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:02,750 Thanks, dickheads! 26 00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:05,030 Say it, O'Neill! Shut up, you dog-bumming twat! 27 00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:07,630 Say sorry to the shoe! I'm not apologising to footwear! 28 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,070 ALL: Sorry to the shoe, sorry to the shoe! 29 00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:11,750 Sorry to the shoe! 30 00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:15,030 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 31 00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,150 Sorry to the shoe! 32 00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:18,990 ♪ The best things in life are free 33 00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:23,190 You're a thief, O'Neill, always were and always will be! 34 00:01:23,790 --> 00:01:26,590 ♪ That's what I want 35 00:01:26,630 --> 00:01:27,710 ♪ That's what I want... 36 00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:29,910 ♪ That's what I want 37 00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:30,950 Sorry, shoe... 38 00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:33,470 ♪ That's what I want 39 00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:35,070 ♪ That's what I want... 40 00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,430 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 41 00:01:37,510 --> 00:01:40,070 Aren't you practically Terence's bitch now, though, 42 00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:42,670 you doing all the work, while he takes all the profit. 43 00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:44,110 No, I am not Terence's bitch. 44 00:01:44,150 --> 00:01:45,870 He's a fucking ENT-repreneur. 45 00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:47,710 Yeah, ent... entrepreneur. 46 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:50,230 Entrepreneur, investing in our start-up company. 47 00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:52,150 Which means better facilities, 48 00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:53,190 better weed... 49 00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,390 Fucking hell, we're moving up a league here. 50 00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:56,430 Hang on, sweetheart. 51 00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:57,470 Don't get me wrong, 52 00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:59,470 it's great we're Terence's top supplier, 53 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:00,750 but I'm a businessman now, 54 00:02:00,790 --> 00:02:02,790 and businessmen have responsibilities. 55 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:03,910 Like fucking what? 56 00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:06,110 Like sorting out this place. Look at it. 57 00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,030 There's spliff butts in every crevice, 58 00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:09,550 used condom in the hand-drier, 59 00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:11,990 some idiot's been cold-lunching by the fire exit. 60 00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:14,350 You Hawley's Larry Flynt or something? Hey... 61 00:02:14,390 --> 00:02:16,350 Dickhead, I'm doing this for us. 62 00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:18,630 I mean, fair do's, I might be managing director, 63 00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,750 but we're all stakeholders, yeah, 64 00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:23,790 and its success relies on our shared efforts. 65 00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:24,830 Which is why... 66 00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:27,190 I was hoping you might come somewhere with me. 67 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,030 Come somewhere with yer? Like where? 68 00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:30,950 Little, uh, trip out. 69 00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:33,550 Like where?(INHALES) 70 00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:35,150 I'm planning a room in the back, 71 00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:37,190 for, you know... specialist clients. 72 00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:38,870 A blue room, if you will. 73 00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:41,150 And I've got this vision in my mind. 74 00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:43,270 I want it kitted out in a very particular way. 75 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,870 Who's gonna want to eat their dinner off that? 76 00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:49,910 They're perfect. 77 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,310 Look at the detail. 78 00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:55,830 Little willy sculptures all across the top of it. 79 00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:56,870 Hmm. 80 00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,950 Hey, I tell who'd like these, you know... 81 00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:01,950 Fucking McCann. Oi! Eyes off, sunshine! 82 00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:03,150 Use your bloody head. 83 00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:05,830 He loves a pervy antique. It'll keep him sweet, won't it. 84 00:03:05,870 --> 00:03:08,830 All right, how's about you take these drawers. 85 00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:12,670 There's fuck all erotic about 'em, dude. 86 00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:13,710 Check out the side. 87 00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:15,510 Christ... 88 00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:16,550 (SOFTLY) Look... 89 00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,630 (GROANS)Big snizz on it. 90 00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:21,150 (ALL LAUGH) 91 00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,070 That is... that's pornographic, that. 92 00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:24,110 That's disgusting. 93 00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:25,310 Hey, hey, hey... 94 00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:26,910 It's a thing of beauty, that is. 95 00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:29,110 It's a work of art, the female twat. 96 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,390 You help me with the rest. The drawers are yours. 97 00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,430 All right... So, when they shifting 'em? 98 00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:38,150 The museum can't afford expensive storage arrangements, 99 00:03:38,190 --> 00:03:41,510 so I'm reliably informed they're sticking them in non-descript boxes 100 00:03:41,550 --> 00:03:44,710 and whacking 'em in shipping containers in the staff car park. 101 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,750 With no security? They've got security. 102 00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:49,110 CCTV, guard with a dog... 103 00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:51,630 What kind of dog? A fucking labradoodle! 104 00:03:51,670 --> 00:03:53,670 What'd you mean, what kind of fucking dog? 105 00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:56,950 If it's a fucking Rottweiler, they're trained to grab by the throat. 106 00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:58,230 We'll bring some dog food. 107 00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:01,270 There's a thing you can get, a dart gun, tranquiliser. Exactly. 108 00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,390 Shoot that up its arse and we're good to go. 109 00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:05,510 Right... you know what I'm gonna ask. 110 00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:06,550 Is this worth it? 111 00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,230 All of this trouble for some weird crap for his perv room? 112 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:12,070 Have a bit of vision, for once in your fucking life, mate. 113 00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:14,350 We could be the next Hustler Club, yeah. 114 00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:17,870 And it's the class and attention to detail that's gonna get us there. 115 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,230 Vinnie? I'm up for it. 116 00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:24,070 Anything that doesn't involve being in disguise or in fear for my fucking life. 117 00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:26,070 Grand, yeah. Count me out. 118 00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:28,350 Yeah... me, too. Just the three of us, then. 119 00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:31,870 The Three Musketeers, all for one and one for fucking all. 120 00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:33,470 (ALL CHUCKLE) 121 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:35,990 Where's Cardi? 122 00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:37,030 Cardi! 123 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:38,790 Car... 124 00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:41,190 Hello.Hello. 125 00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:43,870 What's all that shit on your face? 126 00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:46,470 Have you been tanning? No. Yeah, you have... oi, oi. 127 00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,910 What's he wearing? What's this man got on? 128 00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:49,950 (LAUGHTER) 129 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,870 You know when you've been tangoed. 130 00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:53,710 Right, come on... do some explaining. 131 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:56,230 (STAMMERING) I'm just busy, all right. 132 00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:58,430 I'm not always av-ailable, you know. 133 00:04:58,470 --> 00:05:00,870 Sometimes I do have other things going on in my life. 134 00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:01,910 Yeah? Like what? 135 00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,030 Cardi... Cardi, come on. Come on. 136 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,310 Have to do a second coat... 137 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:06,510 Oh, how are you, Vinnie? 138 00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:08,270 She does this with all the fellas. 139 00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:10,950 We're having a spa day at home today, aren't we, Cardi... 140 00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:12,150 Uh, well, it's, um... 141 00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:13,750 Oh, it's all going on today. 142 00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:15,950 Jacuzzi, massage, facials... 143 00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:18,990 Might even do a cucumber body wrap later, if we've the time. 144 00:05:19,030 --> 00:05:20,510 Oh, cucumber body wrap? 145 00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:22,630 Right, well, listen... Have a lovely time. 146 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,270 Uh... what are you doing? 147 00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:27,390 Go back to your tanning, you. You're patchy. 148 00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:29,670 Have a good time! Oh, we will! 149 00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:31,510 How much do you want for your tooth? 150 00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:33,910 Thirty pounds. 151 00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,510 Thirty bloody quid?(LAUGHS) 152 00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:37,270 You can have a fiver if I can touch it. 153 00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,470 Gross... 154 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:39,990 (GRIMACES) 155 00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:41,910 There you go.Thanks. 156 00:05:42,590 --> 00:05:43,670 Good to have you back. 157 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,030 Yeah, it's good to be back. 158 00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:48,310 Thanks for bringing him to come and see me, 159 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:49,750 when I was stuck in that hole. 160 00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,710 That little face kept me going. 161 00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,470 Why don't you go and play upstairs for a bit? 162 00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:55,590 Go on. Bog off. 163 00:05:57,910 --> 00:05:59,710 We were worried about you.Hmm... 164 00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:02,950 I've been worried about me. 165 00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,750 I had some dark days. 166 00:06:09,550 --> 00:06:10,550 But him... 167 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,190 I really love that boy. 168 00:06:16,270 --> 00:06:17,270 (SOFTLY) I know. 169 00:06:21,550 --> 00:06:22,550 Right... 170 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,670 Gotta go to Jake's bloody dinner party now. 171 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:27,190 (CHUCKLES)See you later. See you. 172 00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:29,950 Right, Sugar should be back, OK. She'll put him to bed. 173 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,710 OK.All right, bye, baby. 174 00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,150 Love you. Love you. 175 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:34,190 Enjoy your time. 176 00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:37,550 Aww, bloody snuggles, eh? 177 00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:39,750 What film do you wanna watch? 178 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:41,270 Hey, Vin. 179 00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:42,470 What can I do you for? 180 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:44,390 I don't know, man... 181 00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,070 Do you ever wish... 182 00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:52,790 ..you could just, you could just tell people things. 183 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:53,830 You know... 184 00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,710 If things were just different, you could tell 'em... 185 00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:02,230 ..and they'd be happy, and you'd be happy. 186 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,590 No... Fuck... 187 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:08,950 Do you know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean. 188 00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,150 Yeah? Yeah. 189 00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:12,510 I'm seeing this new woman, Casandra. 190 00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:13,870 Total fitness freak. 191 00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:17,710 It's all organic wheatgrass and tantric vaginal Pilates. 192 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:20,470 Look what she's got me wearing. Look at it. 193 00:07:20,510 --> 00:07:22,390 What's that? Detox patch. 194 00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:25,310 She says it realigns my chi.Right. 195 00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:27,830 (SOFTLY) But I'm hooked, Vin. I'm obsessed with her. 196 00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:30,270 I'm ABSOLUTELY obsessed with her. 197 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,630 She's like fragrant Viagra. 198 00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:35,550 All right... The sex is amazing... 199 00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,990 I'm happy... I'm happy for you. Fucking nice knees. 200 00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:40,030 Amazing... AMAZING. 201 00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,230 But the intercourse, Vincent... 202 00:07:42,270 --> 00:07:43,270 Oh, my God! 203 00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:44,710 God, I wish you could just... 204 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:46,230 I wish you could experience... 205 00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:49,350 I wish you could take a day, step inside my body, 206 00:07:49,390 --> 00:07:51,110 take control of my chopper and... 207 00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:53,670 Just profound... Chris... 208 00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:55,870 Stop, STOP! Sensational! 209 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:56,910 Chris, stop! 210 00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:57,950 Shut the fuck... 211 00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,230 You've gone too far again! 212 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,830 Why the fuck would I wanna be your dick for a day? 213 00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:04,430 You hijack these fucking sessions every time. 214 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,350 Talking about fucking sheilas... 215 00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:09,630 ..sloppy blow jobs or whatever. 216 00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:12,070 All right. Quite right. Let's reverse these roles. 217 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:14,110 You're the doctor, I'm the patient. 218 00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:15,390 Do you know what I mean? 219 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,670 Sorry. It's all right. 220 00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:19,990 Sorry, Vin. 221 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:22,910 Sorry. 222 00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:25,670 (CLEARS THROAT) So, how are you? 223 00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:29,750 I miss my kid. 224 00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:32,030 Well, it's not my kid. It's the mother of my kid. 225 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:34,630 She's amazing. 226 00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:36,830 I just I wasn't such a... (DRIFTS OFF) 227 00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:38,270 What is wrong... Oi. 228 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:39,750 What? 229 00:08:40,190 --> 00:08:42,670 Just tell me about your tantric minge sex, then. 230 00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,790 No. Go on. Carry on. I was listening. 231 00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:46,830 What are you looking at? Nothing. 232 00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:48,830 You were looking at your fucking screen. 233 00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:50,950 What you looking at? Nothing on it. 234 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,790 Nothing here. There's no need to... 235 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,790 There! There! There! There's nothing on it! Motherfucker! 236 00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:02,750 I don't know why I let you talk me into these things. 237 00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,190 Cos you love it, that's why. 238 00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:07,830 Do we all know what we're doing? Yeah... Sound. 239 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,070 Oh, fucking hell, dude... 240 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,030 Nearly took my fucking hand off. 241 00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:21,230 You great knobhead, what are you doing wearing that? 242 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,430 Reverse psychology. 243 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:24,870 Ah, I've always wanted to use one of these, lads. 244 00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:26,630 Where the fuck did you get that from? 245 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:29,070 Kitty Mclean. Cat burglar? That's him, yeah. 246 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,510 He got a job lot one Christmas. 247 00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,350 He only charged me a tenner for that. 248 00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:33,390 (YELPS) 249 00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:39,230 Argh! 250 00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:40,950 Fuck's sake! 251 00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:42,150 Quiet, dude! 252 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:45,990 Jesus! Quiet? You've fucking gashed my head open! 253 00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:48,430 It didn't clasp. Maybe that's why it were a tenner. 254 00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:49,630 Here, let me have a look. 255 00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,350 There's fuck all there, man. 256 00:09:53,390 --> 00:09:55,030 Are you sure? Shut the fuck up. 257 00:10:00,910 --> 00:10:04,230 ♪ Oh, the sun-drenched French girls won't relate 258 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,910 ♪ To a frozen glare from the Northern State 259 00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,910 ♪ Dreamin' of fat, happy babies 260 00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:12,510 ♪ Kickin' ladies on the Metro now 261 00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:16,350 ♪ Woo 262 00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:19,030 Have you got the tranquiliser gun? I have it here. 263 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,030 Where do you shoot it? In the arse. 264 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:23,630 All right, now listen... 265 00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:26,470 For fuck sake, don't miss. Last thing we need is an angry dog. 266 00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:27,590 I won't.All right... 267 00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:31,750 Fuck me... 268 00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:36,870 Shit... 269 00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:38,550 Vin... What? Look. 270 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,590 Who the fuck are they? 271 00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,430 ♪ I used to think life's a bitter pill 272 00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:47,790 (GROANING) 273 00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:51,910 ♪ But it's a grand old time ♪ 274 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,900 Jake tells me you're running a local wine bar alongside your studies. 275 00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:02,940 Impressive. 276 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,980 Well, I wouldn't call it a wine bar... 277 00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:07,180 It's an evening drinkery.Great. 278 00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,420 We must come down. 279 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,420 Charlton and I love an excuse to get out and about. 280 00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,020 Yeah, that'd be great. 281 00:11:14,060 --> 00:11:15,140 What's it called? 282 00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,980 It's called The Rat and... Ratatouille. 283 00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,980 Right. Fantastic.Mmm. 284 00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:23,580 Amazing cocktails. 285 00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:25,340 Mum loves a cocktail, don't you... 286 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:29,780 Death in the Afternoon. It's what Hemingway used to drink. 287 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:30,900 (CHUCKLES) 288 00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:41,700 Motherfuckers... 289 00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:44,380 Who the fuck are they?! No idea. 290 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,740 Who told you about the gear being kept here? 291 00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,500 You remember Sheridan, my sister's chiropodist? No. 292 00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,500 Yeah, you do. Big lass, grey hair. 293 00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,780 Shiny forehead. 294 00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:56,140 (GROANS)Anyway, her cousin Rellaine, like Brelaine... 295 00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,180 Who's Rellaine? 296 00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,020 You met her, but you were off your face. 297 00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,380 Good night, that, won't it. 298 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,300 Anyway, she's going out with Ian. Remember Ian? I do know Ian. 299 00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:04,580 Massive hair.Yeah... 300 00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,700 Fucking hell. Shut the fuck up. 301 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:07,740 Yeah... 302 00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:10,020 It doesn't make any difference, whoever it was. 303 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,060 They have blabbed, 304 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,340 and now these wankers are nicking all our gear. 305 00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:15,260 Shall we just bail? And let them have it? 306 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,300 What's the option? They're fucking armed. 307 00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:19,220 Fucking armed, JJ? Yes! Armed! 308 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,980 Are we seriously gonna get ourselves killed for some chairs with dicks on? No! 309 00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:25,180 Hey, hey, hey... erotic curiosities. 310 00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,220 All right? 311 00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:28,980 If I wanted a chair with dicks on, I'd speak to your barber. 312 00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:32,100 Why you always dissing my barber? Can you tell him please... Oi... 313 00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:33,140 Listen to me. 314 00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,580 We're professional thieves. 315 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,260 Ashley, we're professional thieves. 316 00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:41,020 We can't have people turning up before us, just nicking our shit. 317 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,220 You know what I mean? 318 00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:45,700 Let's get back in the van. 319 00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,460 All right, they're coming. Get down. 320 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,740 Fuck's sake... Christ. 321 00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:53,780 Why did you duck in my direction? 322 00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:55,780 Same fucking spot, are you kidding me? 323 00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:57,140 Right, come on, follow 'em. 324 00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:59,660 Yeah, that's it, fucking nine-point turn, Ashley. 325 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,660 You sexy idiot, what are you doing?! You fucking big fat hand... 326 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,100 Moron... 327 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,940 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling 328 00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:11,980 ♪ How can I make you understand? 329 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,980 What's going on? Why are we slowing down? 330 00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:16,420 Why the fuck are we slowing... What are you doing?! 331 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:17,900 It's a red light. 332 00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:20,340 Never mind red light! We're gonna fucking lose 'em! 333 00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,620 We're not gonna lose them. 334 00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,220 They've gone straight ahead in a massive green van... 335 00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:27,660 We're in a covert criminal pursuit and you're obeying the Highway Code! 336 00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,420 It'll be a few seconds. Fuck, dude. 337 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,700 (HUMMING) 338 00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,900 Taking a while, aren't they... Go through the red light! 339 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,500 The road's completely deserted! 340 00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,540 Fine... Green. 341 00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,460 (VAN STALLS) Oh, nice one, you bellend! 342 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:40,900 That's you stressing me out! 343 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,020 I'm fucking stressing you out? Constantly on at me! START THE VAN! 344 00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:46,780 I'm starting the fucking van! (HORN BLARES) Swap seats... 345 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,540 Fucking go! They've gone red again! 346 00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:49,660 You're jiggling... 347 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:52,100 ♪ Before loneliness will break my heart 348 00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:55,300 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling 349 00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:58,340 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling... 350 00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,460 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling... ♪ 351 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,620 Right, now, listen. 352 00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,900 The element of surprise is our best friend here. 353 00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:08,660 They're not gonna be expecting us turning up, nicking their gear, so... 354 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,780 Stealth. 355 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,260 (HORN TOOTS) Ashley! 356 00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,620 (HORN TOOTS) Oh, shit! 357 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,980 Right, I'll take left, you take right. 358 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:21,460 (CLASSIC FM PLAYING GENTLY) 359 00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:24,180 You shit... 360 00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,220 (GRAPPLING) 361 00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:26,260 (STRAINING) 362 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,260 (SPRAYING AND GROANING) I can't see! 363 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,700 Ow! My eyes! 364 00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,740 (SCREAMING) 365 00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,580 (GROANING) 366 00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:38,980 It's me, you daft.... 367 00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:41,580 How many fingers... One. 368 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,260 Brilliant. That'll do. In the van. 369 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,180 (GROANING AND SCREAMING) 370 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,620 Get in in the fucking van... 371 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,500 (SCREAMING) 372 00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:49,780 Get in, JJ! 373 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:52,980 Wait! Hey! 374 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,020 That's not fucking JJ! 375 00:14:58,580 --> 00:14:59,580 JJ?! 376 00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:00,620 Go, go, go... 377 00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:02,460 I'll get the other van! 378 00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,580 (INDISTINCT SCREAMING AND SHOUTING) 379 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,260 (EXHALES) 380 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:14,740 (PHONE CHIMES) 381 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,060 (CLEARS THROAT) 382 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:28,900 Hi, Erin. 383 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:30,820 Hi... 384 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:34,060 Arr-on? It's, uh... it's Aaron. 385 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,580 Like, air-on. (CHUCKLES) 386 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,180 Anyway, I... Can I show you something? 387 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,860 Uh... yeah, OK. Where? Just... 388 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:44,900 Through? Yeah. 389 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,100 It's our old playroom, me and Jake. 390 00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:53,300 (CHUCKLES) 391 00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:56,300 Spent a lot of time in here as kids. 392 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,780 Brothers, you know... 393 00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:01,220 Very competitive with each other. (LAUGHS) I bet. 394 00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:05,260 You got a sibling? Uh, yeah. I've got a brother. 395 00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,700 A bit of a moron.(BOTH LAUGH) 396 00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,820 Me and Jake were SO competitive. 397 00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:13,980 But, um... 398 00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:16,860 You wanna know something? 399 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,580 Yeah... 400 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,260 I'm better than him. 401 00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:27,420 Right... At everything, Erin. 402 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:31,380 I'm a stallion. He's a gelding. 403 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,140 And I've had that confirmed. 404 00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:37,860 So you know... 405 00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:44,660 Word. 406 00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,100 Look in there. 407 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:53,540 They haven't even fucking nicked everything! 408 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,620 Yeah... but they took the drawers, though. 409 00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:56,660 Where's the chairs? 410 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:57,700 Mate? Eh? 411 00:16:57,740 --> 00:17:00,460 Where's the fucking chaise longue? Your fault, this is! 412 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,900 My fault? Yes! Your fault! 413 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,260 Follow 'em, he says. 414 00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:06,540 Yeah, cos I thought they were gonna take it all! 415 00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,540 What the fuck were I supposed to do, dude? 416 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:11,820 Hang on till they'd gone, take whatever they didn't want? Bollocks! 417 00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:14,180 This is a cock-up, this. I'm having them drawers. 418 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:16,700 Like fuck you're having them. Them's for McCann. 419 00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:19,300 Why do you want drawers in your pervy sex room, anyway? 420 00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:22,500 What you gonna fucking keep in 'em? Lots of things, actually, mate. 421 00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:23,540 Lube... 422 00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,940 Do you know what, just fucking have 'em! 423 00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:31,940 (GRUMBLING) 424 00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:34,060 Right, I'm off. I've got a headache, yeah? 425 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,340 Cos this bellend here dropped a ship's anchor on my bonnet... 426 00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,540 Don't storm off. No, mate... Took it too far. 427 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,580 Don't storm... 428 00:17:40,980 --> 00:17:42,940 What the fuck are you laughing at? 429 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,460 Your eyes are fucked, dude. 430 00:17:45,740 --> 00:17:46,740 Get in the van. 431 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,700 I don't need that shit, Jake. I know... 432 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:52,060 Do you know what I mean? It's just Aaron. 433 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,980 He... He's got a weird sense of humour. 434 00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:55,340 Yeah, it's fucking weird. 435 00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:58,460 I'll talk with him. 436 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,860 Look, go back in... 437 00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:05,100 ..have a drink. 438 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,140 Please. 439 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:08,780 OK... Thank you. 440 00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,460 (SIGHS) 441 00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,740 Do you, um... Do you like 'em? 442 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,140 Where'd you get 'em? 443 00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,060 Fell into my possession. 444 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,580 Where? The museum. 445 00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,780 Someone robbed the museum, so we robbed them. 446 00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:25,820 Stolen items... 447 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,660 There's gonna be a whole shitshow, Vin. 448 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,660 This is Regency, 1800s. 449 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:32,700 Right... 450 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,980 Shall I... Shall I give 'em back? Give 'em back? 451 00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:39,020 No, you will not fucking give 'em back. 452 00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,860 This is a very nice piece of furniture.Huh... 453 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,460 But it can't come in the house. 454 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,300 I know a man who can look after it for me. 455 00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:47,980 I'll give him a call in the morning. 456 00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:50,660 Can you hang on to it until tomorrow? Yeah, course, yeah. 457 00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,660 Good lad. Now get the fuck out of here. 458 00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,700 (DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE) 459 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:01,580 What the fuck's this? 460 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,820 (PHONE VIBRATES) 461 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,100 Sometimes there's SO MUCH snow, like last year. 462 00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:17,220 So much snow, they had to close the slopes... 463 00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:20,060 Am I all right to get some water? Two minutes. Thank you. 464 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,740 ♪ Another day 465 00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:22,780 (SIGHS) 466 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,220 ♪ Oh, what a wonder 467 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,020 ♪ Oh, what a waste 468 00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,260 ♪ It's a Monday 469 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,460 (LAUGHTER) 470 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:30,740 ♪ It's so mundane 471 00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:35,020 ♪ What exciting things will happen today? 472 00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:36,820 ♪ All of a sudden 473 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:41,060 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in 474 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,420 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in 475 00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:45,460 (LINE RINGS) 476 00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:48,620 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in 477 00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:49,900 All right, this is Dylan. 478 00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,820 Leave a message, unless you're Vinnie. 479 00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:53,580 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪ 480 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,780 (PHONE RINGS) 481 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,220 (GUNSHOT) Oh, fuck! I'm armed! 482 00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:20,940 It's fucking me, you knobhead! 483 00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:22,220 There's five of us in here! 484 00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:24,140 Oh, yeah, and two... two dogs! 485 00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:26,980 So, whoever you are, you're outnumbered! 486 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:28,180 It's me! 487 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:29,780 I know my rights! 488 00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,100 Oh, fuck! 489 00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:35,820 I can blow your brains out and no judge in the land'll convict me! 490 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,500 It's fucking... It's Vinnie! 491 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,180 Put the fucking gun down! 492 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,220 Vinnie? Yeah! 493 00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:41,820 Oh, what you doing? 494 00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:45,180 I thought you were an immigrant! Why the fuck would I be immigrants? 495 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,220 What do you want? 496 00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:48,340 I thought you were going back to your shack. 497 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,380 Yeah, I know, but... 498 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,500 It's not a bed and breakfast, Vin. 499 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,100 I'm not Airbnb. 500 00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:56,740 I mean, I didn't mind when your dick was on the line, 501 00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:58,780 but you're just taking the piss now. 502 00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:02,860 I know, but fuck... I need a favour. 503 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:05,700 Come on! 504 00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:08,380 Now, be careful! Don't rip the wallpaper! 505 00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:10,220 Are you fucking serious? 506 00:21:10,260 --> 00:21:11,820 Did you wipe your feet, coming in? 507 00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:15,100 Your carpets are so fucked up, dude. That's vintage, that carpet. 508 00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:16,700 And don't scratch the paintwork. 509 00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:18,140 Don't scratch the edge, dude. 510 00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:20,340 Where are we putting it? In the guest room. 511 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,020 What fucking guests do you have? Hey, I have guests! 512 00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:26,300 Like who? Like fucking... People of note! 513 00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:28,500 People you wouldn't even never have heard of! 514 00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:30,940 Honestly, four months I've been in that weed shed, 515 00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:33,380 you've had a fucking guest room this entire time... 516 00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:35,220 Stop fucking moaning.Unbelievable. 517 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,460 Fucking... Jesus Christ... 518 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,300 What? It's a bit patriotic, in't it? 519 00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:42,500 All my own work. 520 00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:45,220 I got someone in for that. 521 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:47,340 An Englishman's home is his castle. 522 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,300 Sing the national anthem and I'll let you stay the night. 523 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,020 Christ... 524 00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:55,780 It's like AirBNP. 525 00:21:59,820 --> 00:22:00,820 Knobhead... 526 00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:19,090 Oh!(BOTH LAUGH) 527 00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:23,850 ♪ Baby, please don't go 528 00:22:25,130 --> 00:22:26,370 ♪ Baby, please don't go 529 00:22:27,370 --> 00:22:29,850 ♪ Baby, please don't go down to New Orleans... ♪ 530 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:33,850 I hope she isn't pretty. Why? Because. 531 00:22:34,610 --> 00:22:35,770 For you. 532 00:22:35,810 --> 00:22:38,370 What's better, he's going out with an absolute minger? 533 00:22:40,210 --> 00:22:41,210 (SIGHS) 534 00:22:42,130 --> 00:22:43,370 Hiya... Hi. 535 00:22:44,170 --> 00:22:47,650 Pretend not to look, but I think I'm being followed. 536 00:22:49,010 --> 00:22:50,010 Followed? 537 00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:55,450 By your ex? Or... by secret police? 538 00:22:55,490 --> 00:22:57,970 Uh... by stalkers. 539 00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,490 Stalkers? Mmm.Oh. 540 00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:04,970 Oh, no... 541 00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:07,170 They're kissing. Oh, great. 542 00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:10,290 It wasn't passionate. 543 00:23:11,530 --> 00:23:12,850 Well, have they stopped? 544 00:23:14,330 --> 00:23:15,330 Hang on... 545 00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:18,610 No. Still going. 546 00:23:21,490 --> 00:23:22,490 (GIGGLES) 547 00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:24,810 Uh, I think... 548 00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:27,690 (SOFTLY) I think you've made your point. 549 00:23:27,730 --> 00:23:28,810 I haven't. 550 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:32,610 Now? Still going. 551 00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:34,450 Still... 552 00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:36,730 Oh, she is pretty... 553 00:23:36,770 --> 00:23:39,650 Wait... Oh, no. Still. 554 00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:41,970 They've stopped. 555 00:23:43,370 --> 00:23:45,370 (STIFLING LAUGHTER) 556 00:23:46,450 --> 00:23:47,530 Jesus... 557 00:23:48,290 --> 00:23:50,690 Oh, do you think they saw us? How should I know?! 558 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:51,890 (LAUGHS) 559 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,010 This is fucking crazy! What am I doing? 560 00:23:54,490 --> 00:23:55,970 He doesn't want her. 561 00:23:56,010 --> 00:23:57,810 He's just trying to make you jealous. 562 00:23:57,850 --> 00:24:00,730 Sugar, I got rid of his kid. I broke his heart, right... 563 00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:04,410 We're done. I need to get on with my life. 564 00:24:04,450 --> 00:24:05,450 Come on. 565 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:07,810 (SHEEP BLEAT IN DISTANCE) 566 00:24:07,850 --> 00:24:09,410 (FRANTIC KNOCKING ON DOOR) 567 00:24:14,690 --> 00:24:15,770 What?! 568 00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:19,330 Where's Vinnie? 569 00:24:19,850 --> 00:24:22,850 He's in bed, why? He's wanted. 570 00:24:23,370 --> 00:24:25,770 So, go and get him out your bed and into my car. 571 00:24:25,810 --> 00:24:26,810 He's not in my bed! 572 00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:30,890 Do I look like I sleep with younger men? 573 00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:32,090 Do I? 574 00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:35,450 Do I look like some kind of fucking perv?! 575 00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:39,050 Just fucking get him. 576 00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:42,690 Inside. Now. 577 00:24:47,290 --> 00:24:49,090 Call me suspicious, Vin, 578 00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:52,610 but the very night you bring round some rare drawers to my house, 579 00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:53,650 this happens... 580 00:24:53,690 --> 00:24:55,090 Yeah, fuck, it's connected. 581 00:24:55,130 --> 00:24:57,130 These are the dickheads we robbed them off. 582 00:24:57,170 --> 00:24:59,170 This is my home! I know... I'm really sorry. 583 00:24:59,210 --> 00:25:01,290 Did they break in? No, too much security. 584 00:25:01,330 --> 00:25:03,210 And this clown fell over a chiminea. 585 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:04,970 Woke up my wife. They legged it. 586 00:25:06,010 --> 00:25:08,010 I was just trying to do a good thing, I... 587 00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:10,810 Can I fix it? How? 588 00:25:11,290 --> 00:25:12,530 Fuck, I don't know... 589 00:25:15,090 --> 00:25:16,730 I just can't fathom how they... 590 00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:20,650 The jacket... 591 00:25:24,490 --> 00:25:25,490 Look... 592 00:25:26,410 --> 00:25:27,410 Fucking phone... 593 00:25:27,450 --> 00:25:29,090 I dumped this in here last night. 594 00:25:29,130 --> 00:25:30,130 They've found it, 595 00:25:30,170 --> 00:25:32,130 assumed the drawers were in your house. 596 00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:34,610 I'll fix it. I'm sorry. 597 00:25:35,210 --> 00:25:36,210 Hang on, stop... 598 00:25:37,050 --> 00:25:39,930 Why would they go to all this trouble for a set of drawers? 599 00:25:43,490 --> 00:25:44,970 Why don't we ring 'em up, 600 00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,730 tell 'em we've got their drawers, 601 00:25:46,770 --> 00:25:48,490 tell them we want five hundred quid, 602 00:25:48,530 --> 00:25:50,170 then when they come, we jump them. 603 00:25:50,210 --> 00:25:51,210 Find out who they are. 604 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,970 What if they're armed? Armed? What is it with you and armed? 605 00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:56,170 This bleeding thing has a passcode on it. 606 00:25:56,210 --> 00:25:59,930 Statistically, you're four times more likely to get stabbed than get cystitis. 607 00:25:59,970 --> 00:26:02,930 Where the fucks that? Los Cabos? The UK, man. I'm telling you. 608 00:26:02,970 --> 00:26:05,610 Yeah, statistically, that sounds like total nonsense. 609 00:26:05,650 --> 00:26:08,290 Why don't we just leave the phone on at a new location 610 00:26:08,330 --> 00:26:09,730 and see if they come again. 611 00:26:09,770 --> 00:26:11,570 Where are the drawers now? Jim's farm. 612 00:26:11,610 --> 00:26:13,170 Right, so, we go there and we wait. 613 00:26:13,210 --> 00:26:16,610 If they see their van, they'll think they're in business, it's perfect. 614 00:26:16,650 --> 00:26:17,650 All right, lads. 615 00:26:17,690 --> 00:26:19,930 (ALL GASP AND LAUGH) 616 00:26:19,970 --> 00:26:21,770 Oh, it's fucking getting worse. 617 00:26:21,810 --> 00:26:23,890 She even did a makeover on Nigel. Look... 618 00:26:25,890 --> 00:26:27,690 He smells like lavender, dude. 619 00:26:27,730 --> 00:26:30,210 THIS is exactly why I don't get into relationships. 620 00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:31,890 In case you get heavily made over? 621 00:26:31,930 --> 00:26:33,930 They always try and change you, don't they. 622 00:26:33,970 --> 00:26:34,970 I say to women now, 623 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:36,890 "This is who I am. Take it or leave it." 624 00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:39,650 And that doesn't put them off, no? It does, yeah... 625 00:26:39,690 --> 00:26:43,650 How'd you fancy a night-long stakeout in a shitty pig shed? 626 00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:46,930 Can we have coffee and doughnuts? Can have as many as you want, mate. 627 00:26:46,970 --> 00:26:49,610 And no wheatgrass. There will be no wheatgrass.Yes... 628 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:50,730 No more wheatgrass! 629 00:26:50,770 --> 00:26:52,770 (PIGS SNORTING) 630 00:26:54,930 --> 00:26:56,090 All right... 631 00:26:56,130 --> 00:27:02,130 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... P. 632 00:27:02,170 --> 00:27:03,170 Pig. 633 00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:05,010 Why would it be... We've had pig twice. 634 00:27:05,050 --> 00:27:06,050 Piss-take, lads. 635 00:27:06,090 --> 00:27:10,050 We have to sit in this cold barn when there's a lovely warm farmhouse round the corner. 636 00:27:10,090 --> 00:27:11,730 Swill? That's a fucking S! 637 00:27:11,770 --> 00:27:13,170 Pigswill? No! 638 00:27:13,210 --> 00:27:15,450 Pricks! I didn't know you were playing! 639 00:27:15,490 --> 00:27:18,290 (LAUGHTER) Who last used my indoor bog? 640 00:27:18,330 --> 00:27:20,210 Why? I'll tell you why. 641 00:27:21,010 --> 00:27:23,410 Cos someone's left an unsinkable. 642 00:27:23,450 --> 00:27:24,450 (CHUCKLES) 643 00:27:24,490 --> 00:27:25,570 I'm not having it, Vin. 644 00:27:25,610 --> 00:27:29,250 It's just sitting there, rent-free, like it fucking lives there. 645 00:27:29,290 --> 00:27:32,530 Just pump the handle! I've pumped the fucking handle! 646 00:27:32,570 --> 00:27:33,970 Who's the perpetrator? 647 00:27:34,010 --> 00:27:36,250 (CHILDISH GIGGLING) 648 00:27:36,290 --> 00:27:37,610 Oh, like that, is it? 649 00:27:37,650 --> 00:27:39,650 Well, fine... I've got all night. 650 00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:41,410 But I'll tell you this... 651 00:27:41,450 --> 00:27:44,930 No one leaves this room until the culprit's found! 652 00:27:44,970 --> 00:27:46,610 Phf! Intense! 653 00:27:48,290 --> 00:27:49,290 Hmm... 654 00:27:49,850 --> 00:27:51,810 I thought it was gone. (LAUGHTER) 655 00:27:51,850 --> 00:27:53,330 Well, it fucking hasn't! 656 00:27:53,370 --> 00:27:55,850 What've you been eating? Mainly protein. 657 00:27:55,890 --> 00:27:56,890 Get back in there! 658 00:27:56,930 --> 00:27:59,810 Knife and fork! Deal with it! 659 00:27:59,850 --> 00:28:01,810 (ALL LAUGH) 660 00:28:01,850 --> 00:28:03,730 Hey, Ashley, chop, chop. 661 00:28:07,850 --> 00:28:11,090 Oi, lads... Lads, there's someone round there. 662 00:28:11,130 --> 00:28:12,130 Oh... 663 00:28:25,330 --> 00:28:26,330 You, you bastard! 664 00:28:26,370 --> 00:28:28,250 (GRUNTING AND GROANING)Stay calm! 665 00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:29,450 Stay calm! 666 00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:31,290 Don't panic! Stop fighting! Stop it! 667 00:28:31,330 --> 00:28:33,650 Just settle down, man. We're not gonna hurt you. 668 00:28:33,690 --> 00:28:36,490 We're just gonna ask you some questions, all right. 669 00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:39,410 Evening. What the fuck are you doing here?! 670 00:28:39,450 --> 00:28:42,530 Trying to find my post rammer! I know you've had it off me! 671 00:28:42,570 --> 00:28:43,650 Have I balls! 672 00:28:43,690 --> 00:28:47,570 Stainless steel, solid metal cap. I saw him admiring it. 673 00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:48,850 He's talking crap! 674 00:28:48,890 --> 00:28:51,050 Post rammer? I'll ram you! 675 00:28:51,090 --> 00:28:52,570 What? What? 676 00:28:54,290 --> 00:28:56,010 With my fist! Oh... 677 00:28:57,210 --> 00:28:58,210 Fucking hell... 678 00:28:58,250 --> 00:28:59,570 What you all doing, anyway? 679 00:28:59,610 --> 00:29:02,170 Sneaking around in the dark, sticking bags on heads... 680 00:29:02,210 --> 00:29:04,010 We're expecting visitors. Thieves. 681 00:29:04,050 --> 00:29:06,450 Thieves? Yeah. Told you they were coming, did they? 682 00:29:06,490 --> 00:29:08,450 In a manner of speaking, they did, yeah. 683 00:29:08,490 --> 00:29:11,570 I just passed a bunch of posh blokes with their car stuck in a ditch, 684 00:29:11,610 --> 00:29:13,250 but they didn't look like thieves. 685 00:29:13,290 --> 00:29:14,770 Where were this? Down the lane. 686 00:29:14,810 --> 00:29:16,050 Posh cursing, they were. 687 00:29:16,090 --> 00:29:18,410 Looked like they needed a nice rioja... hey! 688 00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:20,330 ♪ The hardest button to button 689 00:29:21,930 --> 00:29:24,010 ♪ The hardest button to button ♪ 690 00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:28,250 Need any help, fellas? We're fine, thank you. 691 00:29:28,290 --> 00:29:31,170 Oh, no, no, no... We insist. 692 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:32,770 "We"? 693 00:29:33,370 --> 00:29:34,530 Shit! Run! 694 00:29:39,730 --> 00:29:40,810 No way... 695 00:29:41,610 --> 00:29:42,690 Mr Bates! 696 00:29:43,530 --> 00:29:44,610 Vinnie! 697 00:29:44,650 --> 00:29:47,210 (LAUGHS) Vincent O'Neill. You taught me History. 698 00:29:47,250 --> 00:29:48,890 He taught me History, this geezer. 699 00:29:48,930 --> 00:29:52,170 Vincent... how's it going? Yeah, I'm doing all right. 700 00:29:52,210 --> 00:29:55,610 How's your dad? He's fucked. Still an alcoholic, in't he? 701 00:29:55,650 --> 00:29:59,530 How you doing? You still teaching? Early retirement. Yeah? 702 00:30:00,170 --> 00:30:03,050 I assume you've all come for the erotic drawers, have yer? 703 00:30:03,090 --> 00:30:04,090 Why'd you want 'em? 704 00:30:05,450 --> 00:30:08,250 Well, they're just very appealing, aren't they? Yeah... 705 00:30:08,290 --> 00:30:10,930 We're enthusiasts, aren't we, chaps? Yeah, yeah. 706 00:30:10,970 --> 00:30:12,050 Sounds like bollocks. 707 00:30:12,090 --> 00:30:14,570 In school, we're always taught not to lie, aren't we? 708 00:30:14,610 --> 00:30:17,410 You did, though. Often. Oi, that's not the point... 709 00:30:17,450 --> 00:30:18,530 We want the truth. 710 00:30:18,570 --> 00:30:20,810 We can either do it the easy way or the hard way. 711 00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:22,730 So, why do you want the erotic drawers? 712 00:30:23,970 --> 00:30:25,530 It's your time you're wasting. 713 00:30:27,290 --> 00:30:28,850 All right, fuck it. Torture 'em. 714 00:30:28,890 --> 00:30:30,290 Everyone grab someone beige. 715 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:31,570 Wait! No, no! Get off! 716 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,760 Fill that bucket and flick his ears. 717 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,600 Ow! 718 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:42,720 Never mind "ow"... 719 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:43,920 Gonna go and get my cane. 720 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,680 I swear to God, I'm not gonna stop till someone cracks here. 721 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,800 You're in Guantanamo now, lads. Don't make me start on your feet. 722 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,400 That house you tried to rob belongs to Terence McCann, 723 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,320 and if you don't know who that is, let me tell you, you don't want him in your life. 724 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,360 You've done well for yourself, Vinnie... thief, hostage taker. 725 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,200 Maybe if you'd made your lessons a bit more interesting, 726 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,720 I'd have paid more attention. 727 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,560 Do you know what we used to call you in school? Masterbater. 728 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,480 Smelly-Belly Dog Breath. Fuck Face. 729 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:09,600 The Drone. 730 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,720 Because of the droney way you'd harp on, man. 731 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,320 Well, Carl Slater liked my lessons, and he's done very well for himself. 732 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,000 Carl Slater bums dog, don't he? 733 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,040 I tell you what, 734 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,640 bell him up and tell him you've been nicking antiques. 735 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,840 Let's see how much he wants to be your pal then. 736 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,120 You becoming a thief... 737 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,560 I mean, honestly, might be the most interesting thing you've ever done. 738 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:28,840 You're middle-aged men. 739 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,760 You should be home, real ale, discussing cruise holidays... 740 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,040 I don't know what you do. 741 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,480 There's a reason you've all gone to these lengths. 742 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,600 And I wanna know why. 743 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,480 Take their shoes off. 744 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,400 No, no, no, no! OK, OK, OK! OK! 745 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,600 We're a secret history group. 746 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,960 We're all of us experts in different fields. 747 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,640 And we go deep into historical research. 748 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,800 We've discovered a little-known secret 749 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,800 about the drawers in your possession. 750 00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,640 It could be apocryphal... 751 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,320 What does that mean? Made-up. 752 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,080 The story goes that the maker of the furniture, Emmanuel Dasigie, 753 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,280 was so fearful his work would be seized, 754 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,120 that he hid some of his more extreme creations. 755 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,160 The story goes that, before his death, he drew a map. 756 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,680 Concealed it inside a piece of furniture in his house. 757 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,520 We believe it's inside those drawers. 758 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,360 Are you for real? Treasure map. That's unbelievable. 759 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,280 Craziest thing I've ever heard. It's fairy tale stuff. 760 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:35,120 So, you stole the drawers to try and find the map. 761 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:38,320 Untie him. 762 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,160 Just him. 763 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,160 Oi! Feet! 764 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,280 Fuck sake, dude. 765 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,480 You've been told a load of crap. There's no fucking map here, man. 766 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:49,920 It must be! It has to be! 767 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,600 All our evidence suggests... 768 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,040 Try those legs! 769 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,560 I've tried the legs! Well, twist them! Press them! 770 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,560 I've tried! It's concealed! It has to be here somewhere! No! 771 00:32:58,600 --> 00:32:59,600 There's nothing! 772 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,200 Looks like your story was apocalyptic after all. 773 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,480 Hey, hang about... 774 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,840 That line... see it? 775 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,360 It's not the same colour as the rest of the wood. 776 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,000 That's not a flush join. 777 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:14,920 He's right... 778 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,640 What about... 779 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:19,480 We'll give it a little... 780 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,000 Oh... 781 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,800 Oh, fuck. No way... 782 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:28,840 (LAUGHTER) No fucking way, man. 783 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,480 Call me a genius. 784 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,800 I might be a simple farmer, but I'm an Englishman... 785 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:37,840 All right. 786 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,360 ..with an Englishman's heart. 787 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,200 Jim, Jim, Jim! Shut the fuck up! 788 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,240 That's a fucking map! (CHEERING) 789 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,120 No, no, no, no, no... 790 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,480 This is OUR plan, and you boys just stumbled upon it. 791 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,520 Yeah, well, that might be the case, 792 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,280 but we're professional thieves... ish. 793 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,480 You know... And you lot are fucking useless. 794 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:01,920 Hardly! 795 00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:03,600 We got the drawers, didn't we? 796 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,720 Yeah... yeah, you did. And then we nicked 'em off you. 797 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,720 And you knocked over a fucking chiminea, robbing the wrong... 798 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,080 Chiminea. Chim-in-ea, robbing the wrong house. 799 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,680 And then you got your fucking car stuck in a ditch. 800 00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:15,720 He's got a point. 801 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,320 And if you rob that stately home, 802 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,920 you're all gonna get caught and no one's finding shit. 803 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,360 So, here's what I propose... 804 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,280 Now, I'd say nine out of ten of our jobs go... 805 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,560 Seven, if you're lucky. 806 00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,040 Seven out of ten of our jobs... 807 00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,640 Six-and-a-half, innit, really. 808 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,200 Well... six. 809 00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:35,640 Six out of ten of our jobs go relatively well. 810 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,000 And up till now, none of yours have. 811 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,040 All right? 812 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:40,400 So, you either say yeah, 813 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,760 and potentially come away with a bit of loot here, 814 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,200 or you say no, I tell Terence McCann your names, 815 00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,200 we let the fucking cards fall where they may, what you saying? 816 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,040 OK... 817 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,960 But we come with you.Yeah... On the job. 818 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,320 This is OUR adventure, and we want to be there. 819 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,440 Absolutely not. 820 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,040 You've got more chance of seeing a one legged-dog shitting on a frozen pond. 821 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,240 That's fucking final. 822 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,200 This is fun! Thanks for letting us come! 823 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:05,800 Shh! Lads! Lads! 824 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,000 Just shut the fuck up! 825 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,360 We're on a fucking robbery! 826 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,440 All right, listen... 827 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,280 Positions. 828 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,040 You two take the right, you two are gonna take the left. 829 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,720 You keep dog eye while we do the cutting, all right? 830 00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:37,640 If you see anyone, walkie-talkies. 831 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,680 Go on. 832 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:41,480 Check this out... 833 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,920 Couple of bloody pros here. 834 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,840 We're gonna be in here in five minutes. 835 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:48,200 Last one. 836 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,800 Do you see what I mean? Do you see what I mean... 837 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,160 (SIRENS BLARE) Oh, shit! 838 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,880 (SIRENS CONTINUE TO SOUND) 839 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,520 Move it! Hurry the fuck up, dude! 840 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,560 It's my knees... 841 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,000 (GRUNTS) 842 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000 Well, that's it. We've blown it. We need to get out of here. 843 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,920 Honestly, that's an amateur response. 844 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,360 What we're gonna do, we're gonna stay here, all right? 845 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,120 Right here, quiet. 846 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,160 What? Christ... 847 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,680 I said, "We're gonna stay here, quiet." 848 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:32,720 Ah... 849 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,000 Cos pound to a penny, no fucker comes out tonight to reset that system. 850 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,600 ♪ Cos I'm a cowboy 851 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,360 ♪ On a steel horse, I ride ♪ 852 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,120 (SIRENS BLARING) 853 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,160 Had a thought earlier. 854 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:52,960 Yeah? 855 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,440 We could have just come during visiting hours. 856 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,080 You what? 857 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:01,280 I mean... we didn't need to break in, did we? 858 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,720 We could have just paid and walked in as tourists. 859 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,080 That's a much better idea. 860 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,760 (FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING ON GRAVEL) 861 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,160 (GUARD FARTS) 862 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,560 Sandman, come in Sandman. This is Beaver Three. 863 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,080 (OVER RADIO) Any sign of intruders, Beaver Three? 864 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,600 Negative. Over. 865 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,520 Has the site been penetrated, Beaver Three? 866 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,560 Negative, Sandman. No sign of penetration. 867 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:30,000 (RADIO CHIRPS)Then I suggest we leave this to the morning shift. 868 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,120 Affirmative, Sandman. Over. 869 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,160 (RADIO CHIRPS AS GUARD FARTS) 870 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,200 Oh... 871 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:37,440 (GLASS SHATTERS) 872 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,040 ♪ Show me 873 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,560 ♪ Show me ♪ 874 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,840 Do you know, this... Yeah? 875 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,320 This is like a proper... 876 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,760 Like, Indiana Jones... 877 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,680 (ORNAMENT SHATTERS) 878 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:12,640 Shit. 879 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,840 You've fucking broke that now, ain't you, you bellend? 880 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:22,040 (STAMMERING) Sorry... 881 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,800 Can only take you somewhere twice. Once is to apologise. 882 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,160 Now get the fuck down there. 883 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,120 Right... according to the map, 884 00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,800 secret door's somewhere across that wall there... 885 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:45,920 And the mechanism for said door is... up there. 886 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,160 Right, who fancies lifting me up? Not you. 887 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:50,360 Right. Go on, Tom. 888 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,200 Oh, oh... (GROANING AND GRUNTING) 889 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:53,240 Fucking hell... 890 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,120 It's stuck. 891 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:56,680 Try again. 892 00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:59,440 Do you think? 893 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,440 Cos I was just gonna fuck it off after all this trouble, go home. 894 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,280 Lemon. Christ, you've a bony arse. 895 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,800 I told him that last week. 896 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,840 Why were you feeling his arse? You're killing my shoulders, Vin. 897 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,200 Well, know what, your big fat head's mashing my balls to smithereens. 898 00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:14,240 We've all got our fucking crosses to bear. 899 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,520 Got it. 900 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,040 Oh... (CREAKING) 901 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,560 You've got it. It's open. (STAMMERS) You've done it. 902 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,760 Put me down, Ash. 903 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,080 Mr Bates, get the fuck out of way... 904 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,120 Let's all queue up, like we did at school. 905 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:30,360 (GROANS) Ah! 906 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:31,720 Come on, lads... 907 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,160 This is doing nothing for my claustrophobia. 908 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,000 It's like a Berlin sex party. 909 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,920 There's something ahead, an opening! 910 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,040 Like I say... 911 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,880 It's here! It's bloody here! 912 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,400 The secret room! 913 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:54,520 We've found it! 914 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,360 Holy shit... 915 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,480 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Such an adventure... 916 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:00,520 Fuck... 917 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,960 It's a cleaning rota. 918 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,560 No one's been here since 197-fucking-5. 919 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,560 Fucking coffee cups and shit like a bed down there. 920 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,000 This is where the staff came to skive off, this. 921 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,040 It can't be! 922 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:16,720 All our research suggests this is Emmanuel's secret storage space. 923 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,400 All your research, eh? 924 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,160 I'm sure Emanuel is up in heaven right now, 925 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,920 laughing himself silly over this, 926 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,960 sat in a massive cock-shaped harp. 927 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,160 (SIGHS)Fuck! 928 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:28,200 Fuck it... 929 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,200 Let's smoke a spliff. 930 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,840 Cheers, lads. Nice one. Have a good night. 931 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,440 Arr-on. I mean, Aaron... 932 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:43,200 What you doing here? Is this... I thought you worked in a wine bar. 933 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,120 (BOTH LAUGH) 934 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,800 The chances of this... Mmm... 935 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,240 Incredible coincidence. 936 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,440 How about I buy you a drink? How about you go home? 937 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,640 Oh, hang on... We got off to a bad start. 938 00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,160 I apologise. 939 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,680 Let me buy you a drink. No, thanks. I'm good. 940 00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:58,880 Your choice. 941 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,920 But if you're gonna be serious with my brother, 942 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:03,920 we need to at least... get on. 943 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:07,920 How much is entry? Ten. 944 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:11,200 Tenner it is. 945 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,480 Thank you. 946 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,960 I hope they look like you in there. 947 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,000 (SNIGGERS) 948 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:29,280 (CLEARS THROAT) 949 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,320 (LINE RINGS) 950 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,120 Hey... Hi. 951 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,160 Um... 952 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,800 It's over. What? Me and you, Jake. It's over. 953 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,920 OK, I'm sorry. It's just... It's not right. 954 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:41,960 We're done. 955 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,160 Erin, I... No, Jake. 956 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,080 Jake, you know it yourself, all right? 957 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,120 It's... 958 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:47,840 I'm sorry. 959 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,120 It's over. 960 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,880 Erin... 961 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,760 ♪ When I was young, younger than before 962 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:07,440 ♪ I never saw the truth hanging from the door ♪ 963 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,880 Right... Go on, sod off, then. 964 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:19,920 I need my bed. 965 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,360 It was fun, that.Mmm... An adventure. 966 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,840 It's what we do, innit? Adventures. 967 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,920 It's an important lesson that, though. 968 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,840 You can't always come away with gold, can you? No... 969 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:35,920 But... 970 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:38,120 ..sometimes... 971 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,080 ..you can find... 972 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:43,680 ..silver. 973 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:45,760 Where'd you find that? 974 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,440 Found it in the, uh... 975 00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:48,960 (STAMMERS) ..secret room. 976 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,480 You know, when we were having a spliff. 977 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,520 (INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER) 978 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480 No way... 979 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,280 I didn't want them teachers to have it. 980 00:42:58,320 --> 00:42:59,640 I wanted to give it to you. 981 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,640 Eh? No, no, no... 982 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,560 I can't take that off you. That's finders keepers. No, no... 983 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:05,680 I want you to. 984 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:07,560 Cos, uh... 985 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:09,320 You know... 986 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:11,480 You've been sad. 987 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,760 I'm really glad, uh, that you're alive again. 988 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:21,880 Me, too. 989 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:23,840 Love you, mate. 990 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,440 I love you, dude. I love you, too, man. 991 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,440 Look after yourself, yeah? All right... 992 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:38,280 Go on. Sod off. 993 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,480 ♪ I once had a life 994 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:45,000 ♪ Or rather, life had me 995 00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:51,520 ♪ I was one among many, or at least I seemed to be 996 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,400 ♪ Well, I read an old quotation in a book... 997 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,520 Right, get your shit together. 998 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,280 Get your shit together, we'll get out the fuck out of here. 999 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:02,320 Cardi, come on. 1000 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,680 I'll buy you a kebab on the way home... all right. 1001 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:06,840 ♪ Can you get to that? ♪ 1002 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,640 Why don't you try a change of scene? 1003 00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:16,640 See if that has any effect on your dreams. 1004 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,240 Why don't you stop here tonight? 1005 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,080 You'd have the whole pub to yourself. 1006 00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,200 They're all coked-up! 1007 00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:22,320 Oh... 1008 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,240 Some fucker's in the cellar. 1009 00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:26,600 What are you doing, anyway? 1010 00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:27,880 Oh... fuck! 1011 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:29,760 Just chilling. 1012 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,600 This is my friend Dylan.Hi.Hi... 1013 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,440 I made the woman I love shit her pants. 1014 00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:35,480 Wow. 1015 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,480 ♪ I got so much trouble in my mind 1016 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,600 ♪ I got so much trouble in my mind 1017 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,760 ♪ I got so much trouble in my mind 1018 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,600 ♪ I got so much trouble in my mind 1019 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,000 ♪ I got so much trouble in my mind 1020 00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,800 ♪ Give me the strength to carry on... ♪ 1021 00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,600 Subtitles by Deluxe AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk