1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,160 INDISTINCT CHATTER 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,840 Very clever... LAUGHTER 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,440 LAUGHTER 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,640 Right, who's responsible?! 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:15,840 O'Neill, sir. 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,960 Vincent? Nothing to do with me, sir. 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,160 Oh, really? So, Carl's lying, is he? 8 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,200 Yeah, he's lying. 9 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:24,520 And he better take it back, cos that's thingy...liable. 10 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,120 Slander. Slander. 11 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,240 Come up here! 12 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,520 Show me your hands... 13 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,280 What? Hands! 14 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,080 I can explain... Caught red‐handed. 15 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,840 You're a liar, O'Neill. And liars need to be punished. 16 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,760 ALL EXCLAIM Here we go... 17 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,360 Say sorry to Humphrey. 18 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,280 The thing is, Mr Bates, he's essentially a trainer. 19 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,320 Yes... 20 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:54,360 And if he doesn't get an apology, he gets tremendously angry! 21 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,360 All right, I'm sorry! To Humphrey! 22 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400 Sorry...trainer. 23 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,000 Say his name! I'm not saying his name! 24 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,840 Does he have to say his name? ALL: Yes! 25 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,800 Thanks, dickheads! Say it, O'Neill! 26 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,160 Shut up, you dog‐bumming twat! 27 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,760 Say sorry to the shoe! I'm not apologising to footwear! 28 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,200 ALL: Sorry to the shoe! Sorry to the shoe! 29 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,880 Sorry to the shoe! 30 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,160 CHANTING CONTINUES 31 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,280 Sorry to the shoe! 32 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,120 # The best things in life Are free... 33 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:24,360 You're a thief, O'Neill, always were and always will be! 34 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,720 # I need money # That's what I want 35 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,520 # That's what I want # That's what I want 36 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,080 Sorry, shoe... 37 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,880 # That's what I want 38 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,560 # That's what I want # That's what I want. # 39 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,200 Aren't you practically Terence's bitch now, though, 40 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,800 you doing all the work, while he takes all the profit? 41 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,240 No, I am not Terence's bitch. 42 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,000 He's a fucking ENT‐repreneur. 43 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,840 Yeah, ent... entrepreneur. 44 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,360 Entrepreneur, investing in our start‐up company. 45 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,320 Which means better facilities, better weed... 46 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,520 Fucking hell, we're moving up a league here. 47 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,560 Hang on, sweetheart. Don't get me wrong, 48 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,600 it's great we're Terence's top supplier, 49 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:01,880 but I'm a businessman now, 50 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,920 and businessmen have responsibilities. 51 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,960 Like fucking what? 52 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,600 Like sorting out this place. Look at it. 53 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,280 There's spliff butts in every crevice, 54 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,680 a used condom in the hand‐drier, 55 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,120 some idiot's been cold‐lunching by the fire exit. 56 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,480 Are you Hawley's Larry Flynt or something? Hey, hey... 57 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,480 Dickhead, I'm doing this for us. 58 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,760 I mean, fair do's, I might be managing director, 59 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,880 but we're all stakeholders, yeah? 60 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,560 And its success relies on our shared efforts. 61 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:25,960 Which is why... 62 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,320 ..I was hoping you might come somewhere with me. 63 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,080 Come somewhere with you? Like where? 64 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,080 A little, er, trip out. 65 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,400 Like where? 66 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,680 HE INHALES 67 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,320 I'm planning a room in the back, for, you know...specialist clients. 68 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,480 A blue room, if you will. 69 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,280 And I've got this vision in my mind. 70 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,400 I want it kitted out in a very particular way. 71 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,000 Who's gonna want to eat their dinner off that? 72 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,040 They're perfect. 73 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,440 Look at the detail. 74 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,960 Little willy sculptures all across the top of it. 75 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,480 Hmm. 76 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,080 Hey, I tell who'd like these, you know... 77 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,080 Fucking McCann. Oi! Eyes off, sunshine! 78 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,280 Use your bloody head. 79 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,960 He loves a pervy antique. It'll keep him sweet, won't it? 80 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,960 All right, how's about you take these drawers? 81 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,800 There's fuck all erotic about 'em, dude. 82 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,280 Check out the side. 83 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,640 Christ... 84 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,240 Look... 85 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,760 HE GROANS A big snizz on it. 86 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,280 ALL LAUGH 87 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,200 That is... That's pornographic, that. 88 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,440 That's disgusting. Hey, hey, hey... 89 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,040 It's a thing of beauty, that is. 90 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,240 It's a work of art, the female twat. 91 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,520 You help me with the rest, the drawers are yours. 92 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,560 All right, then. So, when are they shifting 'em? 93 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,280 The museum can't afford expensive storage arrangements, 94 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,520 so I'm reliably informed they're sticking them in non‐descript boxes 95 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,800 and whacking 'em in shipping containers in the staff car park. 96 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,880 What, with no security? They've got security. 97 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,240 CCTV, a guard with a dog. 98 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,880 What kind of dog? A fucking labradoodle! 99 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,800 What'd you mean, what kind of fucking dog? 100 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,240 If it's a fucking Rottweiler, 101 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,960 they're trained to grab by the throat. 102 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,360 We'll bring some dog food. 103 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,400 There's a thing you can get, a dart gun, tranquiliser. Exactly. 104 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,520 Shoot that up its arse and we're good to go. 105 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,640 Right... You know what I'm gonna ask. 106 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,480 Is this worth it, all of this trouble 107 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,360 for some weird crap for his perv room? 108 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,200 Have a bit of vision, for once in your fucking life, mate. 109 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,480 We could be the next Hustler Club, yeah? 110 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,000 And it's the class and attention to detail that's gonna get us there. 111 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,360 Vinnie? I'm up for it. 112 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,400 Anything that doesn't involve being in disguise 113 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,840 or in fear for my fucking life. Grand, yeah. 114 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,880 Count me out. Yeah, me, too. 115 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,480 Just the three of us, then. 116 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,000 The Three Musketeers, all for one and one for fucking all. 117 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,600 ALL CHUCKLE 118 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,080 Where's Cardi? 119 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,880 Cardi! 120 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,920 Car... 121 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,880 Hello. Hello. 122 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,840 What's all that shit on your face? Have you been tanning? No. 123 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,600 Yeah, you have. Oi, oi. 124 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,000 What's he wearing? What's this man got on? 125 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,000 LAUGHTER You know when you've been Tangoed. 126 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,840 Right, come on, do some explaining. 127 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,360 Look, I'm just b‐b‐busy, all right? 128 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,920 I'm not always a‐a‐available. 129 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,560 You know, sometimes, I do have other things going on in my life. 130 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,400 Yeah? Like what? Cardi...! 131 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,440 Cardi, come on. Come on. We have to do a second coat... 132 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,880 Oh, how are you, Vinnie? She does this with all the fellas. 133 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,320 We're having a spa day at home today. Aren't we, Cardi? 134 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,880 Er, well, it's, erm... Oh, it's all going on today. 135 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,080 Jacuzzi, massage, facials... 136 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,080 Might even do a cucumber body wrap later, if we've the time. 137 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,640 Oh, cucumber body wrap? 138 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,080 Right, well, listen, have a lovely time. 139 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,440 Er, w‐w‐what are you doing? 140 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,520 Go back to your tanning, you. You're patchy. 141 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,800 Have a good time! Oh, we will! 142 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,640 How much do you want for your tooth? 143 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,320 Thirty pounds. Thirty bloody quid? 144 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,920 You can have a fiver if I can touch it. 145 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,560 Gross... 146 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,120 Urgh! 147 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,040 There you go. Thanks. 148 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,000 It's good to have you back. Yeah, it's good to be back. 149 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,440 Thanks for bringing him to come and see me, 150 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,080 when I was stuck in that hole. 151 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,200 That little face kept me going. 152 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,600 Why don't you go and play upstairs for a bit? 153 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:56,720 Go on, bog off. 154 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,240 We were worried about you. Hmm... 155 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,080 I've been worried about me. 156 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,880 I had some dark days. 157 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,440 But him... 158 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,320 I really love that boy. 159 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,400 I know. 160 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,640 Right... 161 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,760 Gotta go to Jake's bloody dinner party now. 162 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,560 Mm‐hm. See you later. 163 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,920 See you. Right, Sugar should be back, OK? 164 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,640 She'll put him to bed. OK. 165 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,160 All right, bye, baby. Love you. Love you. 166 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,760 Enjoy your time. 167 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,880 Aw, bloody snuggles, eh? 168 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,840 What film do you wanna watch? 169 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,320 Hey, Vin. 170 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,080 What can I do you for? 171 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,600 I don't know, man... 172 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,320 Do you ever wish... 173 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,880 ..you could just, you could just tell people things? 174 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,240 You know... 175 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,920 ..if things were just different, you could tell 'em... 176 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:03,320 ..and they'd be happy, and you'd be happy. 177 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,440 No. Fuck... 178 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,040 Do you know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean. 179 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,600 Yeah? Yeah. 180 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,640 I'm seeing this new woman, Casandra. 181 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,280 Total fitness freak. 182 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:19,320 It's all organic wheatgrass and tantric vaginal Pilates. 183 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,560 Look what she's got me wearing. Look... 184 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,560 What's that? A detox patch. 185 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,400 She says it realigns my chi. Right. 186 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,920 But I'm hooked, Vin. I'm obsessed with her. 187 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,360 I'm absolutely obsessed with her. 188 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,720 She's like fragrant Viagra. 189 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,640 All right... The sex is amazing. 190 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,080 I'm happy... I'm happy for you. Fucking nice knees? 191 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,440 Amazing. Amazing! 192 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,080 But the intercourse, Vincent... Oh, my God! 193 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,800 God, I wish you could just... 194 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,320 I wish you could experience... 195 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,440 I wish you could take a day, step inside my body, 196 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,200 take control of my chopper and... 197 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,760 Just profound... Chris... 198 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,960 Stop, stop! Sensational! 199 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 Just stop! 200 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,840 Shut the fuck... You've gone too far again! 201 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,160 Why the fuck would I wanna be your dick for a day? 202 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,400 You hijack these fucking sessions every time. 203 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,440 Talking about fucking sheilas... 204 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,720 ..sloppy blow jobs or whatever. 205 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,160 Quite right. Quite right. Let's reverse these roles. 206 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,200 You're the doctor, I'm the patient. 207 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,720 Do you know what I mean? 208 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,800 Sorry. It's all right. 209 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,080 Sorry, Vin. 210 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,000 Sorry. 211 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,840 So, how are you? 212 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,840 I miss my kid. 213 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,200 Well, it's not my kid. It's the mother of my kid. 214 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,800 She's amazing. 215 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,000 I just wish I wasn't such a... fuck up. 216 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,720 What is wrong with...? Oi! 217 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,880 What? 218 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,760 Just tell me about your tantric minge sex, then. 219 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,960 No. Go on. Carry on. I was listening. 220 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,960 What are you looking at? Nothing. 221 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,920 You were looking at your fucking screen. 222 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,000 What are you looking at? Nothing on it. 223 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,920 Nothing here. There's no need to... 224 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,760 There! There! There! There's nothing on it! 225 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,880 Motherfucker! 226 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,920 I don't know why I let you talk me into these things. 227 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,720 Cos you love it, that's why. 228 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,000 Do we all know what we're doing? Yeah. 229 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,040 Sound. 230 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,240 Oh, fucking hell, dude! 231 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,280 Nearly took my fucking hand off. 232 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,400 You great knobhead, what are you doing wearing that? 233 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,600 Reverse psychology. 234 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,040 Ah, I've always wanted to use one of these, lads. 235 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,960 Where the fuck did you get that from? Kitty Mclean. 236 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,440 Cat burglar? That's him, yeah. He got a job lot one Christmas. 237 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,120 He only charged me a tenner for that. Hup! 238 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,760 Argh! 239 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,160 Fuck's sake! Quiet, dude! 240 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,120 Jesus! Quiet? 241 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,160 You've fucking gashed my head open! 242 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,600 It didn't clasp. Maybe that's why it were a tenner. 243 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,800 Here, let me have a look. 244 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,440 There's fuck all there, man. Are you sure? 245 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,480 Shut the fuck up. 246 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,200 Have you got the tranquiliser gun? I have it here. 247 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,400 Where do you shoot it? In the arse. 248 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,800 All right, now listen... 249 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,280 For fuck sake, don't miss. Last thing we need is an angry dog. 250 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,760 I won't. All right... 251 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,200 Fuck me... 252 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,680 Shit! Vin... 253 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,720 What? Look. 254 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,440 Who the fuck are they? 255 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,960 Oh...! 256 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,960 Jake tells me you're running a local wine bar alongside your studies. 257 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,280 Impressive. Well, I wouldn't call it a wine bar. 258 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,480 It's an evening drinkery. Great. 259 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,160 We must come down. 260 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,720 Charlton and I love an excuse to get out and about. 261 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,440 Yeah, that'd be great. What's it called? 262 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,920 It's called The Rat &... The Ratatouille. 263 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,280 Right. Fantastic. Mmm. 264 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,640 Amazing cocktails. Mum loves a cocktail, don't you? 265 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,440 Death in the Afternoon. 266 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,080 It's what Hemingway used to drink. 267 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,200 SHE CHUCKLES 268 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,320 Motherfuckers... Who the fuck are they?! 269 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,680 No idea. 270 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,040 Who told you about the gear being kept here? 271 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,800 You remember Sheridan, my sister's chiropodist? No. 272 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,800 Yeah, you do. Big lass, grey hair. 273 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,080 Shiny forehead. 274 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,040 Oh... Anyway, her cousin Elaine, right, Elaine... 275 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,720 Who's Elaine? You met her, but you were off your face. 276 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,480 Good night, that, won't it? 277 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,000 Anyway, she's going out with Ian. Remember Ian? I do know Ian. 278 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,880 Massive hair. Yeah... 279 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,000 Fucking hell. Shut the fuck up. 280 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,040 Yeah... 281 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,320 It doesn't make any difference whoever it was. 282 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,160 They have blabbed and now these wankers are nicking all our gear. 283 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,560 Shall we just bail? And let them have it? 284 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,600 What's the option? They're fucking armed. 285 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,520 Fucking armed, JJ? Yes, armed! 286 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,640 Are we seriously gonna get ourselves killed 287 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,280 for some chairs with dicks on? No! 288 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,320 Hey, hey, hey... Erotic curiosities, all right? 289 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,960 If I wanted a chair with dicks on, I'd speak to your barber. 290 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,520 Why are you always dissing my barber? Can you tell him, please? 291 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,440 Oi, listen to me. We're professional thieves. 292 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,160 Ashley, we're professional thieves. 293 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,120 We can't have people turning up before us, just nicking our shit. 294 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,520 Do you know what I mean? 295 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,000 Let's get back in the van. 296 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,760 All right, they're coming. Get down. 297 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,120 Fuck's sake... Christ! Why did you duck in my direction? 298 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,000 The same fucking spot, are you kidding me? 299 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,880 Right, come on, follow 'em. 300 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,840 Yeah, that's it, do a fucking nine‐point turn, Ashley! 301 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,960 You sexy idiot, what are you doing?! You fucking big fat hand. 302 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,400 Moron! 303 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,280 What's going on? Why are we slowing down? 304 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,760 Why the fuck are we slow...? What are you doing?! 305 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,920 It's a red light. Never mind red light! 306 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,320 We're gonna fucking lose 'em! We're not gonna lose them. 307 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,560 They've gone straight ahead in a massive green van... 308 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,920 We're in a covert criminal pursuit and you're obeying the Highway Code! 309 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,680 It'll be a few seconds. Fuck, dude. 310 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,080 HE HUMS 311 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,720 Taking a while, aren't they? Go through the red light! 312 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,840 The road's completely deserted! Fine... 313 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,200 VAN STALLS Oh, nice one, you bellend! 314 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,640 That's you stressing me out! I'm fucking stressing you out? 315 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,000 Constantly on at me! Start the van! 316 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,000 I'm starting the fucking van! HORN BLARES 317 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,480 Fucking go! They've gone red again! 318 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:45,960 You're jiggling... 319 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,680 Right, now, listen. The element of surprise is our best friend here. 320 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,360 They're not gonna be expecting us turning up, nicking their gear. 321 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,880 So... 322 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,080 ..stealth. 323 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,560 HORN TOOTS Ashley! 324 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,760 HORN TOOTS Oh, shit! 325 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,280 Right, I'll take left, you take right. 326 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,800 You shit... 327 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,200 STRAINING 328 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,560 SPRAINING AND GROANING I can't see! 329 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,520 Ow! My eyes! 330 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,800 Help! Help! 331 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,880 HE GROANS 332 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,560 It's me, you daft.... Urgh! 333 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,880 How many fingers? One. 334 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,440 Brilliant. That'll do. In the van. 335 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,520 Shithead, get in in the fucking van! 336 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,240 Argh! 337 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,080 Get in, JJ! 338 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,280 Wait! Hey! 339 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,320 That's not fucking JJ! 340 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,920 JJ?! Go, go, go... 341 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,760 I'll get the other van! 342 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,640 Stop, for Christ's sake! 343 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,560 SHE SIGHS 344 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,040 PHONE CHIMES 345 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,280 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 346 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,560 Hi, Erin. 347 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,800 Hi... 348 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,360 Arr‐on? It's, er... It's Aaron. 349 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,760 Like, air‐on. CHUCKLES 350 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,400 Anyway, erm... Can I show you something? 351 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,000 Er, yeah, OK. Where? Just... 352 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,200 Through? Yeah. 353 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,000 It's our old playroom, me and Jake. 354 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,000 HE CHUCKLES 355 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,720 We spent a lot of time in here as kids. 356 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,200 Brothers, you know, very competitive with each other. 357 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,520 I bet. 358 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,560 Have you got a sibling? Er, yeah. I've got a brother. 359 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,000 A bit of a moron. BOTH LAUGH 360 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,120 Me and Jake were so competitive. 361 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,280 But, erm... 362 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,280 You wanna know something? 363 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,600 Yeah. 364 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,560 I'm better than him. 365 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,560 Right... 366 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,640 At everything, Erin. 367 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,680 I'm a stallion. He's a gelding. 368 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,440 And I've had that confirmed. 369 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,160 So you know. 370 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,960 A word. 371 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:45,400 Look in there. 372 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,840 They haven't even fucking nicked everything! 373 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,320 Yeah, but they took the drawers, though. Where's the chairs? 374 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,160 Mate? Eh? Where's the fucking chaise longue? 375 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,480 This is your fault, this is! My fault? 376 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,760 Yes! Your fault! "Follow 'em," he says. 377 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,840 Yeah, cos I thought they were gonna take it all! 378 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,840 What the fuck were I supposed to do, dude? 379 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,640 Hang on till they'd gone, take whatever they didn't want? Bollocks! 380 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,080 This is a cock‐up, this. I'm having them drawers. 381 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,760 Like fuck you're having them. Them's for McCann. 382 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,600 Why do you want drawers in your pervy sex room, anyway? 383 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,400 What you gonna fucking keep in 'em? Lots of things, actually, mate. 384 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,840 Lube... 385 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,120 Do you know what, just fucking have 'em! 386 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,240 HE MUTTERS 387 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,360 Right, I'm off. I've got a headache, yeah? 388 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,640 Cos this bellend here dropped a ship's anchor on my bonnet. 389 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,840 Don't storm off. No, mate. You took it too far. 390 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,880 Don't storm... What the fuck are you laughing at? 391 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,760 Your eyes are fucked, dude. 392 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,840 Get in the van. 393 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,000 I don't need that shit, Jake. I know... 394 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,360 Do you know what I mean? It's just Aaron. 395 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,280 He... He's got a weird sense of humour. 396 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,640 Yeah, it's fucking weird. 397 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,760 I'll talk with him. 398 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,160 Look, go back in... 399 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,400 ..have a drink. 400 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,440 Please. 401 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,080 OK... Thank you. 402 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,760 SHE SIGHS 403 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,120 Do you, erm...? Do you like 'em? 404 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,920 Where'd you get 'em? They fell into my possession. 405 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,400 Where? The museum. 406 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,680 Someone robbed the museum, so we robbed them. 407 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,520 Stolen items... 408 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,960 There's gonna be a whole shitshow, Vin. 409 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,640 This is Regency, 1800s. 410 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,000 Right. 411 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,840 Shall I...? Shall I give 'em back? Give 'em back? 412 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,320 No, you will not fucking give 'em back. 413 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,160 This is a very nice piece of furniture. Huh... 414 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,760 But it can't come in the house. 415 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,360 I know a man who can look after it for me. 416 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,640 I'll call him in the morning. 417 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,160 Can you hang on to it until tomorrow? Yeah, course, yeah. 418 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,960 Good lad. Now get the fuck out of here. 419 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,280 DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE 420 00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,880 What the fuck's this? 421 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,960 PHONE VIBRATES 422 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,360 Sometimes there's so much snow, like last year. 423 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,520 So much snow, they had to close the slopes. 424 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,240 Am I all right to get some water? Two minutes. Thank you. 425 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,720 # Another day 426 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,080 SHE SIGHS 427 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,960 # Oh, what a wonder 428 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,720 # Oh, what a waste 429 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,400 # It's a Monday 430 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,760 LAUGHTER 431 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,280 # It's so mundane 432 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:33,680 # What exciting things Will happen today? 433 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,880 # All of a sudden 434 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,560 # I'm having trouble breathing in 435 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,720 # I'm having trouble breathing in 436 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,360 LINE RINGS 437 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,760 # I'm having trouble breathing in 438 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,200 All right, this is Dylan. 439 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,120 Leave a message. Unless you're Vinnie. 440 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,880 # I'm having trouble breathing in. # 441 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,080 PHONE RINGS 442 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,000 GUNSHOT Oh, fuck! 443 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,320 I'm armed! 444 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,520 It's fucking me, you knobhead! There's five of us in here! 445 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,440 Oh, yeah, and two...two dogs! 446 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,280 So, whoever you are, you're outnumbered! 447 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,160 It's me! I know my rights! 448 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,280 Oh, fuck! 449 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,440 I can blow your brains out and no judge in the land will convict me! 450 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,640 It's fucking... It's Vinnie! Put the fucking gun down! 451 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,120 Vinnie? Yeah! 452 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,800 Oh, what you doing? 453 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,800 I thought you were an immigrant! Why the fuck would I be immigrants? 454 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,920 What do you want? I thought you were going back to your shack. 455 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:49,640 Yeah, I know, but... It's not a bed and breakfast, Vin. 456 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,800 I'm not Airbnb. 457 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:55,040 I mean, I didn't mind when your dick was on the line. 458 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,080 But you're just taking the piss now. 459 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,440 I know, but, fuck, I need a favour. 460 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,120 Come on! 461 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,440 Now, be careful! Don't rip the wallpaper! 462 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,360 Are you fucking serious? 463 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,520 Did you wipe your feet coming in? Your carpets are so fucked up, dude. 464 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,240 That's vintage, that carpet. 465 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,040 And don't scratch the paintwork. Don't scratch the edge, dude. 466 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,880 Where are we putting it? In the guest room. 467 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,720 What fucking guests do you have? Hey, I have guests! 468 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,000 Like who? Like fucking... 469 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,440 ..people of note! 470 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,440 People you wouldn't even never have heard of! 471 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,560 Honestly, four months I've been in that weed shed, 472 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,920 you've had a fucking guest room this entire time! 473 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,000 Stop fucking moaning. Unbelievable. 474 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,400 Fucking... Jesus Christ! 475 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,240 What? It's a bit patriotic, isn't it? 476 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,720 All my own work. 477 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,560 Oh, I got someone in for that. 478 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,640 An Englishman's home is his castle. 479 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,440 Sing the national anthem and I'll let you stay the night. 480 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,000 Christ... 481 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,080 It's like AirBNP. 482 00:21:58,120 --> 00:21:59,480 Knobhead... 483 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,960 Oh! BOTH LAUGH 484 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,720 I hope she isn't pretty. 485 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,000 Why? Because. 486 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,600 For you. 487 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,320 What's better, he's going out with an absolute minger? 488 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,400 SHE SIGHS 489 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,920 Hiya... Hi. 490 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,320 Pretend not to look, but I think I'm being followed. 491 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,560 Followed? 492 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,560 By your ex? Or... 493 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,440 ..by secret police? 494 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,480 Er...by stalkers. 495 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,040 Stalkers? Mmm. 496 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,280 Oh, no... 497 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,080 They're kissing. Oh, great...! 498 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,040 It wasn't passionate. 499 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,400 Well, have they stopped? 500 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,120 Hang on... 501 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,960 No. Still going. 502 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,760 SHE GIGGLES 503 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,360 Er, I think... 504 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,240 I think you've made your point. 505 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:21,360 I haven't. 506 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,840 Now? Still going. 507 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,000 Still... 508 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,680 Oh, she is pretty... 509 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:30,880 Wait... 510 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,240 Oh, no. Still. 511 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,120 They've stopped. 512 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,960 THEY GIGGLE 513 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,400 Jesus... 514 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,240 Oh, do you think they saw us? How should I know?! 515 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,600 SHE LAUGHS 516 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,840 This is fucking crazy! What am I doing? 517 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,520 He doesn't want her. 518 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,360 He's just trying to make you jealous. 519 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,240 Sugar, I got rid of his kid. I broke his heart, right? 520 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,960 We're done. I need to get on with my life. 521 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,280 Come on. 522 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,360 SHEEP BLEAT IN DISTANCE 523 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,760 FRANTIC KNOCKING ON DOOR 524 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,600 What?! 525 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,600 Where's Vinnie? He's in bed. 526 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,880 Why? He's wanted. 527 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,320 So, go and get him out of your bed and into my car. 528 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,360 He's not in my bed! 529 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,440 Do I look like I sleep with younger men? 530 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:24,880 Do I? 531 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,320 Do I look like some kind of fucking perv?! 532 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,920 Just fucking get him. 533 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,360 Inside. 534 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,920 Now. 535 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,640 Call me suspicious, Vin, 536 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:45,440 but the very night you bring round some rare drawers to my house, 537 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,360 this happens... Yeah, fuck, it's connected. 538 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,760 These are the dickheads we robbed them off. This is my home! 539 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,720 I know... I'm really sorry. 540 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,840 Did they break in? No, there's too much security. 541 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,760 And this clown fell over a chiminea. 542 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,120 Woke up my wife. They legged it. 543 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,520 I was just trying to do a good thing, I... 544 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,080 Can I fix it? How? 545 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,640 Fuck, I don't know... 546 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,520 I just can't fathom how they... 547 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,480 The jacket! 548 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,600 Look... 549 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,640 Fucking phone... I dumped this in here last night. 550 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,280 They found it and assumed the fucking drawers were in your house. 551 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,760 I'll fix it. I'm sorry. 552 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,000 Hang on, stop... 553 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,920 Why would they go to all this trouble for a set of drawers? 554 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,280 Why don't we ring 'em up, tell 'em we've got their drawers, 555 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,040 tell them we want five hundred quid? 556 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,760 Then, when they come, we jump them, find out who they are. 557 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,520 What if they're armed? Armed? What is it with you and armed? 558 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,720 This bleeding thing has a passcode on it. 559 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,240 Statistically, you're four times more likely to get stabbed 560 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,880 than get cystitis. Where the fuck's that, Los Cabos? 561 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,480 The UK, man. I'm telling you. 562 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,160 Yeah, statistically, that sounds like total nonsense. 563 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,840 Why don't we just leave the phone on at a new location 564 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,280 and see if they come again. 565 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,920 Where are the drawers now? Jim's farm. 566 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,720 Right, so, we go there and we wait. 567 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,320 If they see their van there, they'll think they're in business. 568 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,720 It's perfect. All right, lads? 569 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,480 ALL GASP AND LAUGH 570 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,600 Oh, it's fucking getting worse. 571 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,680 She even did a makeover on Nigel, look... 572 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,480 He smells like lavender, dude. 573 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,000 This is exactly why I don't get into relationships. 574 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,680 What, in case you get heavily made over? 575 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,720 They always try and change you, don't they? 576 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,440 I say to women now, "This is who I am. Take it or leave it." 577 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,560 And that doesn't put them off, no? It does, yeah... 578 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,960 How do you fancy a night‐long stakeout in a shitty pig shed? 579 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,040 Can we have coffee and doughnuts? You can have as many as you want. 580 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,600 And no wheatgrass. There will be no wheatgrass. 581 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,520 Yes! No more wheatgrass! 582 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,560 PIGS SNORT AND GRUNT 583 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:50,880 All right... 584 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:55,080 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... 585 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,160 ..P. Pig. 586 00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,800 Why would it be...? We've had pig twice. 587 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,040 Piss‐take, lads. We have to sit in this cold barn 588 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,520 when there's a lovely warm farmhouse round the corner. 589 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,200 Swill? That's a fucking S! 590 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,200 Pigswill? No! 591 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,280 Pricks! I didn't know you were playing. 592 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,080 LAUGHTER Who last used my indoor bog? 593 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:15,360 Why? I'll tell you why. 594 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,720 Cos someone's left an unsinkable. 595 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,360 CHUCKLING I'm not having it, Vin! 596 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,320 It's just sitting there, rent‐free, like it fucking lives there! 597 00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:27,160 All right, just pump the handle. I've pumped the fucking handle! 598 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,120 Who's the perpetrator? GIGGLING 599 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,240 Oh, like that, is it? 600 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,360 Right, well, fine. I've got all night. 601 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,200 But I'll tell you this... 602 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,320 No‐one leaves this room until the culprit's found! 603 00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,640 Ooph! 604 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,440 Intense... 605 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:43,520 Mm‐hm. 606 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,600 I thought it was gone. LAUGHTER 607 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,120 Well, it fucking hasn't! 608 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,640 What've you been eating? Mainly protein. 609 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,080 Get back in there! Knife and fork! Deal with it! 610 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,720 ALL LAUGH 611 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,520 Hey, Ashley, chop, chop. 612 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,200 LAUGHTER 613 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,640 Oi, lads... Lads, there's someone round there. 614 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:06,680 Oh... 615 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:21,400 You, you bastard! 616 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,040 GRUNTING AND GROANING Stay calm! 617 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,240 Stay calm! 618 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,080 Don't panic! Stop fighting! Stop it! 619 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,880 Just settle down. We're not gonna hurt you. 620 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,120 We're just gonna ask you some questions, all right? 621 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,200 Evening. What the fuck are you doing here?! 622 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,000 Trying to find my post rammer! I know you've had it off me! 623 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,320 Have I balls! Stainless steel, solid metal cap. 624 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,320 I saw him admiring it. 625 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,960 He's talking crap! 626 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,800 Post rammer? I'll ram you! What? 627 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,120 What? 628 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,800 With my fist! Oh... 629 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,360 Fucking hell... What you all doing, anyway, 630 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,720 sneaking around in the dark, sticking bags on heads? 631 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,400 Cos we're expecting visitors. Thieves. 632 00:28:58,440 --> 00:28:59,640 Thieves? Yeah. 633 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,760 Told you they were coming, did they? In a manner of speaking, they did. 634 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,080 I just passed a bunch of posh blokes with their car stuck in a ditch, 635 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,920 but they didn't look like thieves. Where were this? 636 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,560 Down the lane. Posh cursing, they were. 637 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,120 Looked like they needed a nice rioja. 638 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,800 Hey! 639 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,960 Need any help, fellas? We're fine, thank you. 640 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,760 Oh, no, no, no. 641 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,320 We insist. 642 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,040 We? 643 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,400 Shit! Run! 644 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,160 No way... 645 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,720 Mr Bates! 646 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,400 Vinnie! 647 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,000 Vincent O'Neill. You taught me History. 648 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,240 He taught me History, this geezer. Vincent! 649 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,960 How's it going? Yeah, I'm doing all right. 650 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,960 How's your dad? He's fucked. 651 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,600 He's still an alcoholic, isn't he? 652 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,560 How are you doing? Are you still teaching? 653 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,200 Early retirement. Yeah? 654 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,600 I assume you've all come for the erotic drawers, have you? 655 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:58,880 Why do you want 'em? 656 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,040 Well, they're just very appealing, aren't they? Yeah... 657 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,200 We're enthusiasts. Aren't we, chaps? 658 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,520 Sounds like bollocks. 659 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,200 In school, we're always taught not to lie, aren't we? 660 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,920 You did, though. Often. Oi, that's not the point... 661 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,000 We want the truth. We can either do it the easy way or the hard way. 662 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,200 So, why do you want the erotic drawers? 663 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,320 It's your time you're wasting. 664 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,640 All right, fuck it. Torture 'em. 665 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,600 Everyone grab someone beige. Wait! No, no! Get off! 666 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,520 Fill that bucket and flick his ears. 667 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,400 Ow! Never mind "ow". I'm gonna go and get my cane. 668 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,200 I swear to God, I'm not gonna stop till someone cracks here. 669 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,200 You're in Guantanamo now, lads. Don't make me start on your feet. 670 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,600 That house you tried to rob belongs to Terence McCann, 671 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,040 and if you don't know who that is, let me tell you, 672 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,600 you don't want him in your life. 673 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,880 You've done well for yourself, Vinnie. Thief, hostage‐taker. 674 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,400 Maybe if you'd made your lessons a bit more interesting, 675 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,040 I'd have paid more attention. 676 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,440 Do you know what we used to call you in school? Master Bater. 677 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,680 Smelly‐Belly Dog Breath. Fuck Face. 678 00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,880 The Drone. 679 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,280 Because of the droney way you'd harp on, man. 680 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,600 Well, Carl Slater liked my lessons, and he's done very well for himself. 681 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,480 Carl Slater bums dog, don't he? I tell you what, 682 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,880 bell him up and tell him you've been nicking antiques. 683 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,120 Let's see how much he wants to be your pal then. 684 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,800 You becoming a thief... 685 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,360 Honestly, it might be the most interesting thing you've done. 686 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,840 You're middle‐aged men. You should be home, 687 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,840 drinking real ale, discussing cruise holidays. I don't know what you do. 688 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,320 There's a reason you've all gone to these lengths. 689 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,200 And I wanna know why. 690 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,360 Take their shoes off. No, no, no, no! OK, OK, OK! OK! 691 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,160 We're a secret history group. 692 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,800 We're all of us experts in different fields. 693 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,400 And we go deep into historical research. 694 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,640 We've discovered a little‐known secret 695 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,640 about the drawers that are in your possession. 696 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,080 It could be apocryphal... What does that mean? 697 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,560 Made‐up. 698 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,720 The story goes that the maker of the furniture, Emmanuel Dasigie, 699 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,440 was so fearful his work would be seized, 700 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,000 that he hid some of his more extreme creations. 701 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,000 The story goes that, before his death, he drew a map. 702 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,520 Concealed it inside a piece of furniture in his house. 703 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:14,360 We believe it's inside those drawers. 704 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,200 Are you for real? A treasure map. That's unbelievable. 705 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,520 The craziest thing I've ever heard. It's fairy‐tale stuff. 706 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,880 So, you stole the drawers to try and find the map. 707 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,520 Untie him. 708 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:29,880 Just him. 709 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,440 Oi! 710 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:32,840 Feet! 711 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,400 Fuck sake, dude. 712 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,040 You've been told a load of crap. There's no fucking map here, man. 713 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,760 It must be! It has to be! 714 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,440 All our evidence suggests... 715 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,760 Try those legs! I've tried the legs! 716 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,840 Well, twist them! Press them! I've tried! 717 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,600 It's concealed! It has to be here somewhere! No! There's nothing! 718 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,920 It looks like your story was apocalyptic after all. 719 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,680 Hey, hang about. That line, you see it? 720 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,160 It's not the same colour as the rest of the wood. 721 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,680 That's not a flush join. 722 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,640 He's right... 723 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,560 What about...? 724 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:09,320 We'll give it a little... 725 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:12,840 LOCK CLICKS Oh... 726 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,760 Oh, fuck, no way..! 727 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,680 LAUGHTER No fucking way, man. 728 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,680 Call me a genius. 729 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,400 I might be a simple farmer, but I'm an Englishman... 730 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,960 All right. ..with an Englishman's heart. 731 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,440 Jim, Jim, Jim! Shut the fuck up! 732 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,880 That's the fucking map! CHEERING 733 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,840 No, no, no, no, no... 734 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,240 This is our plan, and you boys just stumbled upon it. 735 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,120 Yeah, well, that might be the case, 736 00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,720 but we're professional thieves...ish. 737 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,240 You know, and you lot are fucking useless. 738 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,320 Hardly! We got the drawers, didn't we? 739 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,560 Yeah. Yeah, you did. And then we nicked 'em off you. 740 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,280 And you knocked over a fucking chimnear, robbing the wrong... 741 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,840 Chiminea. Chim‐in‐ea, robbing the wrong house. 742 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,520 And then you got your fucking car stuck in a ditch. 743 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,160 He's got a point. And if you rob that stately home, 744 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,640 you're all gonna get caught and no‐one's finding shit. 745 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:11,200 So, here's what I propose... 746 00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:14,120 Now, I'd say nine out of ten of our jobs go... 747 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,400 It's seven, if you're lucky. 748 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,960 Seven out of ten of our jobs... Six‐and‐a‐half, innit, really? 749 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,960 Well...six. 750 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,360 Six out of ten of our jobs go relatively well. 751 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,480 And up till now, none of yours have. 752 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,120 All right? So, you either say yeah, 753 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,440 and potentially come away with a bit of loot here, 754 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,840 or you say no, I tell Terence McCann all your names, 755 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,920 we let the fucking cards fall where they may. What are you saying? 756 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:39,880 OK. 757 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,560 But we come with you on the job. 758 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,040 This is our adventure, and we want to be there. 759 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:45,160 Absolutely not. 760 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,360 You've got more chance of seeing a one legged‐dog 761 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,520 shitting on a frozen pond. That's fucking final. 762 00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,640 This is fun! Thanks for letting us come! 763 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,240 Shh! Lads! Lads! 764 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,360 Just shut the fuck up! We're on a fucking robbery! 765 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,880 All right, listen... 766 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,320 Positions. 767 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,320 You two, take the right. You two are gonna take the left. 768 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,080 You keep dog‐eye while we do the cutting, all right? 769 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,360 If you see anyone, walkie‐talkies. Go on. 770 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,240 Check this out. A couple of bloody pros here. 771 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,120 We're gonna be in here in five minutes. 772 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,640 The last one. 773 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,240 Do you see what I mean? Do you see what I...? 774 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,200 SIRENS BLARE Oh, shit! 775 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,320 SIRENS CONTINUE TO WAIL 776 00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:03,800 Move it! Hurry the fuck up, dude! It's my knees. 777 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,440 Urgh! 778 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,440 Well, that's it. We've blown it. We need to get out of here. 779 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,600 Honestly, that's an amateur response. 780 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,800 What we're gonna do is we're gonna stay here, all right? 781 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,600 Right here, quiet. 782 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,520 What? Christ... 783 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,120 I said, "We're gonna stay here, quiet." 784 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,800 Ah... Cos pound to a penny, 785 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,280 no fucker comes out tonight to reset that system. 786 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,560 SIRENS BLARE 787 00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,840 I had a thought earlier. Yeah? 788 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,080 We could have just come during visiting hours. 789 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,720 You what? 790 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,720 I mean, we didn't need to break in, did we? 791 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,440 We could have just paid and walked in as tourists. 792 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,360 That's a much better idea. 793 00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,880 FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH ON GRAVEL 794 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:03,680 GUARD FARTS 795 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,000 Sandman, come in Sandman. This is Beaver Three. 796 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,520 OVER RADIO: Any sign of intruders, Beaver Three? 797 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,040 Negative. Over. 798 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,960 Has the site been penetrated, Beaver Three? 799 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,000 Negative, Sandman. No sign of penetration. 800 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,960 Then I suggest we leave this to the morning shift. 801 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,680 Affirmative, Sandman. Over. 802 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,240 GUARD FARTS 803 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:26,520 Oh... 804 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:28,880 GLASS SHATTERS 805 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,440 Do you know, this... Yeah? 806 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,160 This is like a proper... 807 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,200 Like, Indiana Jones... 808 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:01,920 ORNAMENT SHATTERS 809 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:04,120 Shit. 810 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,080 You've fucking broke that now, ain't you, you bellend? 811 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:13,480 S‐S‐Sorry... 812 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,080 I can only take you somewhere twice. And once is to apologise. 813 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:17,360 Now, get the fuck down there. 814 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,560 Right, according to the map, 815 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,000 the secret door's somewhere across that wall there. 816 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,640 And the mechanism for said door... 817 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,360 ..is up there. 818 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,200 Right, who fancies lifting me up? Not you. Right, go on. 819 00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:43,400 Oh, oh... GROANING AND GRUNTING 820 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,440 Fucking hell... 821 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,040 It's stuck. Try again. 822 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:50,880 Do you think? 823 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,800 Cos I was just gonna fuck it off after all this trouble and go home. 824 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,800 Lemon. Christ, you've a bony arse. 825 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,240 I told him that last week. Why were you feeling his arse? 826 00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,120 You're killing my shoulders, Vin. 827 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,360 Well, know what, your big fat head's mashing my balls to smithereens. 828 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,480 We've all got our fucking crosses to bear. 829 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,880 Got it. 830 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,480 Oh... CREAKING 831 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,880 It's open! Y‐Y‐You've done it. 832 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,200 Put me down, Ash. 833 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,280 Mr Bates, get the fuck out of way. 834 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,000 Let's all queue up, like we did at school. 835 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:22,640 Come on, lads... 836 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,640 This is doing nothing for my claustrophobia. 837 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,520 It's like a Berlin sex party. There's something ahead! 838 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,200 An opening! Like I say... 839 00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:41,800 It's here! 840 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,320 It's bloody here! 841 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:44,840 The secret room! 842 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,440 We've found it! 843 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:47,800 Holy shit... 844 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,760 Oh, fuck... 845 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,400 It's a cleaning rota. 846 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,000 No‐one's been here since 197‐fucking‐5. 847 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,840 Fucking coffee cups and shit, like a bed down there. 848 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:02,440 This is where the staff came to skive off, this. 849 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:03,800 But it can't be! 850 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:08,040 All our research suggests this is Emmanuel's secret storage space. 851 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,200 All your research, eh? 852 00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:12,600 I'm sure Emanuel is up in heaven right now, 853 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,360 laughing himself silly over this, 854 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,280 sat in a massive cock‐shaped harp. 855 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,040 HE SIGHS Fuck! 856 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,840 Fuck it... 857 00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,680 Let's smoke a spliff. 858 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,520 Cheers, lads. Nice one. 859 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:26,680 Have a good night. 860 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,880 Arr‐on. I mean, Aaron... 861 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:32,840 What you doing here? Is this...? 862 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,640 I thought you worked in a wine bar. 863 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,440 BOTH LAUGH 864 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,240 The chances of this... Mmm. 865 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,640 Incredible coincidence. 866 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,880 How about I buy you a drink? I've got to go home. 867 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,080 Oh, hang on... We got off to a bad start. 868 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,360 I apologise. Let me buy you a drink. 869 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,080 No, thanks. I'm good. Your choice. 870 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,360 But if you're gonna be serious with my brother, 871 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,360 we need to at least...get on. 872 00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,360 How much is entry? Ten. 873 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:02,640 A tenner it is. 874 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:06,920 Thank you. 875 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,240 I hope they look like you in there. 876 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,440 HE SNIGGERS 877 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:15,560 Fuck it... 878 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:21,760 LINE RINGS 879 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,560 Hey... Hi. 880 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:25,600 Erm... 881 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,000 It's over. What? 882 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,240 Me and you, Jake. It's over. 883 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,360 OK, I'm sorry. It's just... It's not right. 884 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:33,760 We're done. Erin, I... 885 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,720 No, Jake. Jake, you know it yourself, all right? It's... 886 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:39,880 I'm sorry. 887 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,320 It's over. 888 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:43,600 Erin, please... 889 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,240 Right... Go on, sod off, then. 890 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,160 I need my bed. It was fun, that. 891 00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:13,800 Mmm... An adventure. 892 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,280 It's what we do, innit? Adventures. 893 00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,600 It's an important lesson that, though. 894 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,240 You can't always come away with gold, can you? 895 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:25,280 No. 896 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,360 But... 897 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:29,560 ..sometimes... 898 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,440 ..you can find... 899 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,320 ..silver. 900 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,080 Where did you find that? 901 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:38,920 I found it in the, er... 902 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,000 ..s‐s‐secret room. 903 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:42,920 You know, when we were having a spliff. 904 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,800 INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER 905 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:47,600 No way... 906 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,720 I didn't want them teachers to have it. 907 00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,800 I wanted to give it to you. Eh? 908 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,080 No, no, no... 909 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,720 I can't take that off you. That's finders keepers. No, no... 910 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,520 I want you to. 911 00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,120 Cos, er, you know... 912 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:02,920 ..you've been sad. 913 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,200 I'm really glad, er, that you're alive again. 914 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,280 Me, too. 915 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:15,520 Love you, mate. 916 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,880 I love you, dude. I love you, too, man. 917 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,880 Look after yourself, yeah? All right... 918 00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:29,600 Go on, sod off. 919 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,760 HE STARTS TO SOB 920 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,960 Right, fuck it, just get your shit together. 921 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,320 Get your shit together, we'll get out the fuck out of here. 922 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,760 Cardi, come on, I'll buy you a kebab on the way home. 923 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,120 all right. 924 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,400 # I got so much trouble in my mind 925 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,520 # I got so much trouble in my mind 926 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,680 # I got so much trouble in my mind 927 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,880 # I got so much trouble in my mind 928 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,120 # Give me the strength to carry on 929 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,200 # Give me the strength To carry on... # 930 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,840 Subtitles by ITV SignPost