ANNOUNCER: Welcome to Just Roll With It!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-Lets... -Go!
[IN UNISON] Just Roll With It!
[BELL RINGS]
Yeah!
Welcome to Just Roll With It!
A show where the studio audience gets to vote on what happens to us in scenes.
Yeah.
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
And the show where I've learned to prepare for the worst!
It's cute you think the bubble wrap will save you.
So when you hear this sound...
[HORN BLOWS]
You'll get to vote, and we'll have to...
ALL: Just Roll With It!
Okay, everyone!
T-minus two minutes till General Barnswallow's here.
We gotta make sure this place is spotless.
Are these cookie crumbs? I just cleaned this!
Who's been eating cookies on the banister in the last five minutes?
[SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY]
I gotta go finish cleaning the toilet.
I'm so excited Rachel's old commanding officer is coming to stay with us.
Is he as awesome as Rachel made him sound?
If by awesome you mean unfunny, annoying,
boring and just like a total drag to be around then yes, he is awesome.
Come on, Blair, isn't Caleb your godfather?
Yeah, but I wasn't really consulted on that decision seeing as I was a baby.
If it had been up to me, I would've picked Liam Hemsworth.
-Solid pick. -Good choice. Incredible cheekbones.
And I've also heard he's just like, nice.
I've heard that. Just super grounded.
I like the whole family.
Guys!
-What are you doing? -Just talking Hemsworths.
-You brought it up. -Let's stay on topic.
Caleb is the worst.
Well, I'm sure it'll be fine.
Any friend of Rachel's is a friend of mine.
-Except for Eileen. -I can't stand her.
Come on. Come on.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Goodness. She talks so much.
-Caleb! -Rachel!
Oh! Ah!
This must be the beautiful family I've heard so much about.
I'm so glad my book tour brought me to Akron.
Not so glad they couldn't spring for a hotel room.
You're more than welcome to stay here long as you'd like.
Well, I see you keep your house in tip-top form,
besides those cookie crumbs on the banister over there.
You must be Byron!
I'm so sorry I wasn't able to attend the wedding.
That weekend I was overseeing a political transfer of power in a foreign state.
Right, I heard. How'd it go?
Not good. Big mess.
Well, I think I'll go lay some barbed wire for us
to crawl under on our big hike tomorrow.
-Say what now? -That's right!
Five a.m., Caleb is leading us on one of his famous pre-dawn,
entirely uphill, fun-runs!
Wait, are you joking?
Because that is awesome!
This is the best day ever!
The fun run would've been amazing on its own
but doing it with a backpack full of bricks was mwah!
I think I might be allergic to exercise.
I don't think I would've made it if Caleb hadn't carried me that last half-mile.
It was no trouble.
You are surprisingly light.
If anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs researching how to get adopted.
I'm gonna go upstairs and disconnect her Wi-Fi.
Are you still up for barbecuing later, or would you rather order in?
I promised this man a Byron Burger, he's gonna get a Byron Burger.
You are too kind. Please allow me to help.
All right.
If you wouldn't mind peeling the potatoes
while I get started on the meat, that'd be great.
Sure.
Ohh. I'll help too.
Being useful makes me feel alive.
That oughta do it!
Whoa! You're a potato peeling pro!
My dad usually takes like five minutes a potato and there's way more blood!
Oh, Byron, you're not supposed to put potato peels down a drain.
-It'll clog. -Trust me, I know my sink.
[DISPOSAL SPUTTERS]
Dad, is that supposed to happen?
Luckily, I got one more trick up my sleeve.
Rachel, call the plumber!
Don't waste your money.
I have a mini plumbing kit right here on my keys for just such an occasion.
Well, hold up.
Your old man's been known to plumb it up on a pipe or two.
Let me just pop the hood and give it a looksie.
Ah, yup.
This is a classic clog.
[THUMP, THEN HISSING]
[BYRON SCREAMS]
-Byron! Byron! -Dad! What happened?
[HORN BLOWS]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
ANNOUNCER: Okay, audience, you get to vote on which body part Byron hurt.
You know what could be in pipes?
-Cockroaches. -Ahh!
ANNOUNCER: The votes are tallied.
On the cupboard door, there is going to be a note.
Take this note off of the cupboard and you're going to read it.
ANNOUNCER: Let's go back to the scene.
DIRECTOR: Action!
[THUMP, THEN HISSING]
[BYRON SCREAMS]
-Byron! -Dad, what happened?
"When the pipe burst, I hurt my neck. Ah!
-Hurt your neck? -Your neck?
CALEB: Sit. -Okay, Dad. Dad.
Major Rachel get down here!
We got a man down on the field! Get the M.A.S.H. unit working.
-All right, copy that! OWEN: Dad! Dad.
Here you go, my friend. Right here. Do not move.
-Gauze coming in. -Let's start with the gauze.
-You hold this. -All right.
-Thank you so much. -This oughta help.
OWEN: All right.
-I'm also a board certified magician. -Okay, great.
RACHEL: Reflex test!
-Can't wait to see. -Reflex test! Face me.
-Okay. -And now me.
-Face here. -The other way.
-There you go. -Okay great.
-How are his reflexes? -This way.
Make sure his brain hasn't been dislodged.
-Let's check the ear canal. -Let's get that.
I think he has... All right, hold still, sir.
Okay. This right?
-[BLOWING] -Ahh!
Major, it's time for Betsy Ross.
-Flying in! -Hello, I'm Betsy Ross.
-Hi, Betsy. -How do you do?
I'm good. I'm Byron.
Do you have any ideas for the flag? I'm working on it.
You should just make it prettier.
Prettier? Like me? No. Go ahead and say it.
-You so pretty. -You're fresh!
-Ahh! My neck! My back! -Stop that! Stay away from them!
What is that all about?
Byron you're gonna wanna bite on this for the pain.
[SQUEAKS]
All right, we gotta test your reflexes here.
-Test these on your nose. There we go! -Ahh!
All right, that's good. Give it a honk.
Give it a big honk. You know what? This thing is totally broken.
-Gotta get a brace on that. RACHEL: Coming right up!
CALEB: All right. Make sure the gauze is good.
-Are you... Did you find it down there? RACHEL: Yeah.
You keep it very organized.
Yeah, it's very organized down there.
We missed you when you were gone.
-I miss being there. -Yeah, here take these now.
-There we go. -Ah, thank you.
Give him one more squirt.
[HONKS]
So, he has to wear that for the rest of the time?
-That's right. -That's it.
The whole...
[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
All right,
first burger goes to the man of the house.
-I was talking about your father. -Oh, right!
Thank you, son.
All right, Owen, this next one has your name written on it.
Why it's juicy and bursting with flavor!
Just like a good burger should be.
I didn't know they could be like this.
Stupid juicy, well-seasoned burger.
Everything okay, Dad?
You've been muttering to yourself more than usual.
Considerate, thoughtful son, always asking about my muttering.
Somebody raided my candy stash!
Ooh!
Sorry, Blair, didn't mean to rain on your parade,
but when I was deep-cleaning the carpet earlier, I saw the contraband.
As I knew it was a violation, I felt compelled to report it to your mother.
-But, Mom! -Caleb was right to let me know, hon.
All that candy is bad for you.
Now, eat your double bacon burger with extra cheese
and don't forget to slather it up with the dipping lard.
Hey, have you noticed my dad's been a bit off since Caleb got here?
Yeah, Caleb's a dill weed.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Of course I am, but we'll never get away with it.
We won't get away with cheering Dad up?
Oh, that's what you were talking about.
That's not really my thing but knock yourself out.
Hey, champ.
[GROANS]
-How's it going? -Fine. I guess.
I don't know.
Feels like now's a good time for one of our son-father chats.
So is there anything you want to share, or get off your chest?
No.
Maybe.
Does it have something to do with Caleb being here?
It's just he's starting to make me look bad.
He even upstaged me last night when we were out dancing!
And you know the dance floor is my sacred space!
[HORN BLOWS]
Yeah!
ANNOUNCER: All right, audience, what type of dance should our cast do?
So, you two change.
And, just so you know, I'm actually in on this one.
So you'll hear me say a lot of things that aren't true.
DIRECTOR: There will be a menu.
You will read your new line from that menu.
ANNOUNCER: Votes are in. Now back to the scene.
MAN: Roll, please.
DIRECTOR: Action!
He's starting to make me look bad.
He even upstaged me last night when we went out dancing.
And you know the dance floor is my sacred space.
-"Hey Caleb." -Yeah? Yes?
"How about a good old fashioned hip-hop dance competition?"
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
-Oh, boy. -Yeah!
-"Rachel and I will go first." -I thought...
[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
Look at this.
-Check me out. Check me out. On the heels. -Here he comes!
[MUSIC STOPS]
CALEB: Yeah. AUDIENCE: Caleb! Caleb! Caleb!
-Caleb! Caleb! CALEB: No.
Hey, hey, hey. Hold on. Hold on.
You wanna dance? Oh, geez.
Sir? You wanna? Come on! Ladies?
-You gotta pick. -You.
-You wanna go? -Yeah.
-Come on! Come on! -Hey!
Worst day of your life!
Yeah, you're gonna be great and you're gonna do most of the work for me.
All right, young lady.
Shall we dance, madam?
[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
BYRON: Yeah!
RACHEL: Go, Caleb!
AUDIENCE: Go, Caleb!
Go, Caleb!
Go, Caleb! Go, Caleb!
BYRON: Oh my gosh.
He's killing it!
[MUSIC STOPS]
ALL: Caleb! Caleb!
Caleb! Caleb!
You don't get it. The guy's too perfect!
What I'm saying is there's stuff that you're good at too.
Yeah, right. You're just saying that.
I'm gonna go ride my bike around the neighborhood
and maybe go to a store and get some more cookies.
-Just remember, don't talk to strangers. -I know!
You shut that door the right way!
[CLICKS TONGUE]
I'm worried about Dad.
This Caleb thing's really got him down.
Per usual, I am five steps ahead of you.
Check this out.
Whoa, this says that Caleb is being deployed to
the Bermuda Triangle?
Yep, I forged a letter from the government.
He'll get stranded and then be eaten up by giant crabs.
Our problems are as good as over.
But, Blair, we need to boost Dad's confidence.
What's the one thing Dad has that Caleb doesn't?
-Rollerblades. -True, but not what I was going for.
Dad has a sense of humor.
He's great on the radio!
And that's what we need to remind him of.
If we get him and Caleb on the air at the same time, it'll be a big win for Dad.
And that's when we strike Caleb!
No, Blair, the plan is done at that point.
We just get them both to the station and let Dad shine.
I'm gonna go talk to Rachel about Caleb promoting his book on the show.
Humiliate Caleb on the air so he'll leave and never come back?
Muahahaha!
RACHEL: Blair, what did I say about laughing evilly?
Sorry, Mom!
Muahaha.
[CHEERING]
Okay, now it's time for Operation
Make Caleb Look Dumb On the Radio So He Never Comes and Stays With Us Again.
Still work-shopping that title.
Dad, I know you're feeling insecure, but the radio is your home court.
This is your chance to show Caleb how good you are at this.
I don't know. Maybe.
Hey, why don't you play with your soundboard?
That always cheers you up.
[FARTS]
See? Fart sounds. You love fart sounds.
Now try pressing this one.
OWEN: I believe in you, Dad. You're gonna do great!
I see what you did.
You replaced one of my fart sounds with a message to cheer me up.
That's sweet but don't mess with my soundboard anymore.
Hoo-ah! Time to battle the airwaves.
Thanks for having me on your show, Byron.
Now I understand your program is a comedic one in nature.
Should I adopt a looser, more genial and jovial tone while on air?
-Whatever you like. -Oh, sorry.
Uh, we're live in three, two...
[OVER COMPUTER] ♪ Byron and Gator during drive time! ♪
And welcome to the show, everybody!
I am here today with a dear family friend and decorated military vet,
General Caleb Barnswallow!
Caleb is here to read from his new memoir, General-ly Great.
"My name is Caleb Barnswallow,
I have a giant stinky butt, and my favorite food is boogers".
Wait a minute,
my favorite food is a salted hard-boiled egg
and a glass of room temperature tap water.
And I believe my butt to be of average size.
Someone's been tampering with this book.
There is tomfoolery afoot!
[HORN BLOWS]
I knew it! Yay!
ANNOUNCER: Time for the last vote. What should happen next?
I'm genuinely frightened this time.
There's gonna be a new line of dialogue you're gonna read aloud from the book.
Sounds great.
ANNOUNCER: And let's go back to the scene.
DIRECTOR: Action!
"Somebody tampered with my book.
There is tomfoolery afoot!
It's a good thing there's a second copy for me to read, which is on the podium.
Oh brother. Let me just put on my reading goggles
and walk over there."
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
-No! -Yeah!
Nothing...
-Nothing good ever happens with goggles. CALEB: No.
-Nope. Okay. BYRON: You look good.
OWEN & BLAIR: You won't look good for long!
"My name is Caleb Barnswallow.
I have a giant--"?
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
AUDIENCE: Caleb! Caleb!
Caleb! Caleb!
-Caleb! Caleb! -Do I?
CALEB: No more on me.
-I've been meaning to get that roof fixed. CALEB: Yes!
-Yes. -We don't have to use the book.
-We could just have a conversation. -Oh. Oh, okay.
Yeah. Come on.
Hold on. Wait a minute. Some of this is in the way.
-Yeah, give me some of th-- Eat some. -Ohh.
I love it. I love it, baby! I love it! I love it!
Yes!
Yeah, , I'm gonna take one with you. I'm gonna take one with you.
And yeah, let's just have a conversation.
-Okay. BYRON: Yeah.
Uh... Heh, heh, heh.
Oh, no.
Caleb's freezing up on air.
Blair, you're grounded.
Worth it.
Caleb's mic is experiencing some technical difficulties,
so let me tell you a little about his book.
Uh, it's a gripping memoir from a true modern day hero.
What did you do, like eight tours of duty?
-Yeah, that's right. -I mean, that's incredible!
This man liberated an entire village, earned a Medal for Valor,
and is the only man I'd wake up to do an entirely uphill fun-run with.
As a matter of fact, I want to give this guy a round of applause.
OWEN [ON RECORDING]: You don't need all those cookies, Dad. You're my hero.
Sorry, my kid was in here messing with this thing.
Anyway, it's a great book by an even greater guy.
So let's show some thanks to a man that's done so much for all of us.
We're gonna take a quick break, but before we do,
I'm gonna leave you with your four o'clock fart sounds.
OWEN [OVER RECORDING]: I feel blessed to be able to call you my dad.
Owen!
Dad, you did incredible!
-Go wait in the car. -What? I was just trying to help.
Three buttons, Owen? These fart sounds put food on the table.
I am so proud of you, honey. You really saved Caleb there.
I gotta thank you, Byron. I had you pegged as a supreme beta male.
But you really had my back there and that shows me who you are.
And you wouldn't have that respect for him if I hadn't messed with your book.
I guess that's true.
So, I owe you thanks as well.
Blair, you did that for me?
Gotta say, I think you have a pretty special family.
We do, don't we?
What part of in the car do you not understand, Owen?
-Yeah, Owen! -Blair, you're still grounded.
Still worth it.
And that's our show!
You guys have been a great crowd!