ANNOUNCER: Welcome to Just Roll With It!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-Got your back. -[IN UNISON] Yeah, got your back.
[BELL RINGS]
Whoo!
Welcome to Just Roll With It!
When you hear this sound...
[HORN BLOWS]
The audience gets to vote on what happens to us in scenes!
OWEN: Yeah!
I feel like we've grown so much since we started this show.
For example, I now wear goggles every time I open up a box.
When I hear a foghorn, I go into the fetal position and scream.
I wake up in the middle of the night weeping for no reason.
But, for the time being, we are contractually obligated to...
ALL: Just Roll With It!
Okay! Time for a fun, family boat day.
Yay, floating around under a bunch of birds
looking for a place to take a bowel movement.
-Fun. -That's the spirit!
Ahoy, fam! Welcome aboard.
[IN UNISON] Oh!
Gator, what happened to you?
When you don't have a positive male role model in your life,
you end up seeking it out from people who don't deserve--!
No!
Your face, dude.
Oh, right!
I accidentally took a ten-hour nap on the deck.
Gator, how did you come up with your boat's name?
That's hilarious.
That's not the boat's name, honey. That's graffiti.
And I don't want you ever saying that word.
Great.
A few quick rules before we set sail,
life preservers must be worn at all times,
no running on the deck and keep your voices down.
I don't want to disturb the Lake Erie monsters from their watery slumber.
Lake Erie monsters?
Well, you kids have heard of Garbage Pete before, right?
Tell me you've heard of Titan, the red ink squid?
Have your parents never told you the tale of Gustavo the Giant Clam?
That's another reason why you should wear sunscreen.
The rays do a number on the old brain box.
Today is gonna be great!
[INHALES]
I would've loved to have done stuff like this when I was a kid,
but my dad's idea of quality time was taking me to the park to yell at hippies.
Now that sounds fun!
Let's go yell at some dirty hippies!
Or, how about a mother-daughter fishing lesson instead?
Hard pass.
I'm just going to sit here with my eyes closed
and imagine all the TV shows I'm missing.
-Owen, you like boring stuff. -Ah. That I do.
Great! Let me show you how to stick a hook through a worm's head or butt.
Sorry, I've got my whole day planned out.
Last week when half of our school fell into that sinkhole,
we were all feeling pretty down.
Speak for yourself.
I was so happy I might name my first child Sinkhole.
Anyway, when they announced that school would be closed
for three weeks while they do repairs, I was nearly catatonic.
No one knows what "catatonic" means.
Owen, stop bullying your sister, use normal words.
I was very sad but then I realized
even though the school is temporarily closed,
my mind can still be open for business.
I got the next three months of homework off of the dark web.
Gonna sit here with this super-food beet
and ginseng smoothie and have a relaxing cram session.
Oh, if you hear me giggling to myself over there,
it's because getting smarter tickles.
Guys, I don't want you sulking or learning.
This is a family-bonding day.
What's up, my Byro-maniacs?
Just out here yachtin' it up with the kids and wifey.
You know how we do!
Ah, yeah, I can't believe this is my life.
Just goes to show you that the universe gives back what you put out there.
Hashtag, self-care. Hashtag, family love.
Byron! Put that dumb phone down. What are you doing?
Trying to get my social media numbers up.
I just found out Dirty Dan has more followers than me.
Ooh, is it because he beat you at the Akron Radio Awards?
Nah, it's probably because he beat us on Family Squabbles.
Kids, stop it.
It's because his show beats Byron every week in the ratings.
Ha, ha.
All that ends now, because I talked to my sister.
[IN UNISON] The marketing guru.
She is!
She's one of the most sought-after experts on social media branding.
She says if I want to get my followers up, I have to post every--
[HORN BLOWS]
-There you go! -Good luck!
ANNOUNCER: It's time to vote.
What sort of challenge should Byron do?
Someone's about to get their followers on!
Go big or go home, baby! You are home but you get it.
ANNOUNCER: Now back to the scene. MAN: Roll, please.
DIRECTOR: Action!
"My sister is one of the most sought-after experts on social media branding.
And she says if I want to get my followers up,
I have to take the Armpit or Fish Challenge."
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
"I will put on a blindfold and decide whether I'm smelling a fish
or a random sweaty dude's armpit." Ahh!
RACHEL: I can get behind this! I can get behind this.
You must be real desperate for those likes, Byron.
Yeah, I'll, I'll do anything for 'em, baby, let's go! Thank you.
I don't want to mess up your hat or your followers might not like you.
-Okay. BYRON: Let's go.
I'm gonna help facilitate this for your Byro-maniacs.
Yeah, this is for my followers! I love my Byro-maniacs!
What's up?
All right.
-I'm gonna bring you something... -Okay
...that's either a sweaty armpit or a fish, okay?
-Got you. -I'm gonna step you a little closer to it.
-That was scary rolling the back-- -I'm gonna take your hat off.
-Okay. -You can start smelling starting now.
Ahh! What is that? That's a dude!
I got a armpit hair in my nose.
Oh, my gosh.
-Okay. -Okay, we got another one.
Oh, that sounds like it's gonna be bad.
All right. Come a little closer, like towards me, just inch towards me.
Whoa, whoa.
Wh-- Hey! What is that? What is that? What is that?
-It's-- -You gotta smell it.
Okay.
-That's a fish! I know that's a fish. -Okay.
-Or a dude with scaly armpits. -We don't know yet.
Okay, so the third one's gonna be a little more challenging, okay?
Okay. Okay.
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
Oh!
Don't let it be the first dude! Okay, okay.
You got this, baby.
-This is for followers, right? -Get my followers up!
Okay, take a big whiff.
Ahh! What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?
That's a fishy dude!
What is that?
Everybody follow me. I'm way better than DJ Dirty Dan!
Hey!
Thank you.
And give it up for them. I don't know where they came from.
Toledo.
Byron, you can't keep letting your sister tell you what to do.
I'm the only one who gets to tell you what to do.
Well, technically as the captain of this ship,
-I get to tell people what to-- -Gator, untie us from the dock.
-We're shipping out. -Aye-aye, Cap'n.
Okay, time for some forced family bonding.
The wind in our sails, the sea breeze in our lungs.
Nothing's gonna stop me from having fun!
[BUOY DINGING]
Uh-huh. Still having fun. Uh...
Just a minor setback.
Byron, can you hand me another bucket?
Comin' back at ya, Byro-maniacs.
Just a little update on the wifey. She filled up another bucket.
It smells really nasty in here. Hold on, let me try and find a puke emoji.
Byron, are you seriously live streaming right now?
-Ah, my sister said-- -I don't care what your sister says.
Now put that thing away and go back up on deck.
I think the worst is behin-- It's not behind me!
[GROANS, THEN WHIMPERS]
Hey, Rachel, whatcha doing with my pee buckets?
Oh, Gator!
Okay, this has been a disaster.
We're officially not a boat family.
I'm heading up to turn this barf barge around.
With any luck, we can make it home just in time to do nothing.
Oh, no you don't! Blair, stop it!
We're not going home.
We are making beautiful family me-- me-hem-mories!
-When I was a little girl-- -We get it.
Your dad ruined your life, so now you want to ruin ours.
But you can break the cycle, Mom.
You can break the cycle.
We are having fun!
No one's having fun!
Guys, that's not good for the sail.
Face it, Mom, no one wants to be here.
-I want to be here! -[WOOD SNAPS]
Oh! Oh!
Mr. Sail! Oh!
No!
I wasn't recording! Can we do that again?
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
Gator, how could your mast just snap off like that?
It's an old boat!
Plus the guy who sold it to me told me it had a termite problem,
but that was years ago, and I'd assumed it had run its course by now.
Now we're stuck out here.
This is the worst thing that has ever happened to us.
Oh, please, we've been in way worse situations than this.
[HORN BLOWS]
You said it! You said it!
ANNOUNCER: Okay, audience, what worse situation was Rachel talking about?
Sometimes when I hit hard times, I just try to stay afloat.
Pfft. Oh!
ANNOUNCER: Okay, that's it. Votes are in. Let's go back to the scene.
DIRECTOR: Action!
Please, we've been in way worse situations than this.
Looks like somebody left us a big gift. Let's open it.
Should we be concerned that someone got into our house?
All right, I've always wanted one of these.
"Hey there, Beatz 101 fam!
-It's your mortal frenemy DJ Dirty Dan." -[IN UNISON] Oh.
Ha, ha!
"I wanted to make amends by sending you over this gift.
But put on these goggles and shower caps before you enjoy it."
Oh, boy.
Actually, I have a good feeling about this.
Maybe DJ Dirty Dan's not so dirty after all.
BLAIR: Maybe.
-I like your optimism. -[BEEPING]
-Wait. -Wait.
It sounds like it's counting down!
We should probably cut these wires, you guys.
Maybe it's a good beeping like chocolate.
Like a giant pager, you're right.
I'm cutting my wire, okay? Here I go.
Okay. All right.
-See that wasn't bad. RACHEL: Right.
It's like a party.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
BYRON: Okay. RACHEL: Here we go.
Let me. I got ya. Let's go, baby, right here, come on.
Put it up. Put your hands on there. Let's go. Let's do it together. Ahh!
[SCREAMS]
BYRON: Ha, ha!
See? Look. This, it's marshmallows. That's nice.
-Free snacks! Okay. BYRON: Yeah.
-I want to eat it. BYRON: Don't worry. They're good.
-You gonna cut your wire? -Yeah. I'm gonna cut my wire.
AUDIENCE: Ohh.
RACHEL: Okay.
-Popcorn. Yeah, yeah. RACHEL: All right.
-What's this? OWEN: Uh, okay.
Ahh! There's no butter. What a monster!
BLAIR: What are you doing?
I got a good feeling about this. I'm gonna cut my wire right now.
I respect you, babe. I respect you.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
So, Dad, you feeling good about this now?
[ALARM RINGING]
RACHEL: Oh, okay.
Oh, okay. Okay.
-Why is it always goo? -Why is it always goo?
Actually, no, this one's the worst.
Fear not, fam. The boat's got a motor.
All ya gotta do is turn it on.
[ENGINE STARTS, THEN STOPS]
Huh. Engine's not working.
Maybe the motor oil's gone bad.
This isn't motor oil at all!
Gator, what if it had been?
Tastes like a super-food beet and...
ginseng smoothie!
Oh, actually, about that. I can explain.
I was really deep in the groove on an intense study sesh.
I'm talking speed tests, reading comp quizzes, prep.
Suddenly, I found myself face to face with a twelfth grade calculus question.
First, I got scared, but then the rush kicked in.
I fired up my graphing calculator and said,
"Buckle up, big boy,
-we're going on a calculations journey--" -Owen, get on with the story!
I accidentally knocked my smoothie into the engine.
[GROANING]
No! You're supposed to be the smart one!
I'll go and try to radio for help.
Byron, I've seen how this storybook ends.
We're rudderless, adrift, at the mercy of the currents now.
And Neptune is a vengeful god.
We need to make some uncomfortable decisions here.
What are you talking about?
[WHISPERS] A sacrifice.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] We've got to throw someone overboard.
It's the only way to get back in the good graces of Mother Ocean.
Blair, I'm not throwing my wife or son overboard.
What about Gator?
We'll see how he does with the radio.
Mayday! SOS.
We're a boat adrift in the middle of Lake Erie
and I'm super freaked out 'cause it's monster season.
-Can anybody hear me? -[MOTOR RUNNING]
-What's that? -It's a speedboat!
OWEN: We're saved!
BYRON: DJ Dirty Dan!
Of all the great lakes in all the world, you had to motor into mine!
Well, well, well.
If it isn't my arch nemesis who I don't actually consider a nemesis at all
because I beat him at Family Squabbles, and every week in the ratings.
Ooh, and don't forget the Akron Radio Awards.
I love you so much.
Just keep boating, Dirty Dan.
No, don't keep boating. We need your help.
Oh yeah, I notice that your mast had broken in half. Why'd you do that?
We're not good at boats.
Uh, can you tow us back to shore?
Sure thing, I've got all the equipment necessary
to get you guys safely back to dry land.
Let me just get some video of this, though.
I'm sure my adoring fans would love to see me save a fellow DJ,
who's in such a ridiculously hopeless state.
Oh, don't worry, Byron, I'll tag ya in this.
-What up, Dirt Nation, here we are-- -You go and get outta here, DJ Dirty Dan!
Go on now. Git! We don't need you or your lifesaving help!
-We'll be just fine! Mm-mm. -No, no.
Suit yourself.
Come on. Let's go have fun in our working boat.
-I love you so much. -I love you so much.
Byron! What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with me? You broke the mast!
Excuse me? Blair and I both broke the mast.
Oh sure, blame me.
None of us would even be on this dumb boat
if you weren't trying to make us do the things
'cause your dad didn't,
so you're just try-- Owen, what am I trying to say?
Living your childhood vicariously through us.
Yeah! That!
Listen, let's not point fingers here.
You are all equally to blame for the situation we're in.
-Seriously? -You broke the engine!
-Well, I'm sorry! -Sorry, but if you would have had my back.
[RADIO SQUAWKS]
Everyone, quiet! The radio! It's working!
MAN: A weather advisory for the Lake Erie region,
all boats should immediately return to shore and find safety.
Repeat, there's a violent freak storm the likes of which
have never been seen heading towards the Lake Erie region.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
DJ Dirty Dan come back! I changed my mind!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
The storm looks pretty bad! We're gonna have to wait it out in here.
Hey, Mom!
No, Blair. We are not throwing Owen overboard.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
MAN: Update on the violent freak storm the likes of which
have never been seen over Lake Erie.
[HORN BLOWS]
-That was quick. That was quick! -That was so fast!
That was like right on it.
ANNOUNCER: It's the last vote, what monster is coming for the family?
Someone in the audience was like, "Oh".
DIRECTOR: We will start the scene on radio voice's new line. Okay?
ANNOUNCER: And let's go back to the scene.
DIRECTOR: Action!
MAN: Update on the violent freak storm the likes of
which have never been seen over Lake Erie.
We're getting another distressing bulletin that Titan,
the fabled Red Ink Squid has been awoken.
Oh my!
Awoken from its decade long slumber and is looking for a small,
powerless watercraft to swallow whole. So be careful out there!
-Swallow whole? -Swallow?
We all get together. We all get in a group hug.
I didn't even know squids had mouths.
-You guys, this is still a bonding moment. -[CRACKS]
Oh, all the same.
-Shrimp. -Well, that's some serious squid barf.
Oh my goodness!
What is that?
That's a squid.
[ALL SCREAMING]
Oh, guys, I know how Titan got her name!
Whoo!
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Whoo!
Don't worry, family, I'll save you!
-Gator! Gator! -Gator!
GATOR: Watch out! -[SQUID ROARING]
-Gator! -No!
-I wanna live! -Guys, I'm sorry.
-This is all my fault. BYRON: No!
I was wrong.
I got too wrapped up in my rivalry with DJ Dirty Dan.
No. I was wrong. I'm the one who broke the engine.
Guys! I hate to say this but I was right!
We should have stayed home!
I mean...
I love you guys.
-I love you . -We love you too.
[THUNDER CRASHING]
I have something else I need to tell you guys.
Me too. So do I--
[HORN BLOWS]
What?
BLAIR: No, I don't love you!
ANNOUNCER: Okay, it's a surprise fourth vote and you,
the audience, get to decide what happens in the next episode.
How are they gonna top all that goop?
Rachel will be cued to read a line off a new cue-card.
ANNOUNCER: And let's go back to the scene. DIRECTOR: Action!
I have something else I need to tell you guys.
Me too.
"The reason it was so important for me to try to have this fun,
family outing is because starting tomorrow,
it's not just gonna be the four of us anymore.
My cranky, drill sergeant father is coming to live with us."
So, like, we're getting another cast member?
Is that what's happening?
-I guess that's what the audience wanted! -Hey!