♪
[喘气]联邦技术？！我要求打捞。
作为船长，我要求打捞。
[笑]我是 Badgey，你的训练计划很有帮助。
星际舰队有哪些秘密
今天你想学吗？
哦，星际舰队代码是白金级的。
万一这个东西有危险怎么办？
我被编程为热爱所有形式的生命。
我当然从未杀过任何人。
给我你的秘密。
把我举到你面前吧，朋友。
我要给自己买一艘新船
-也许退休到... -更近。
[哭出来]
痒痒吧？
它正在试图拯救你！
[船长尖叫]
♪
[拜纳尔讲话]
[警报声]
[拜纳尔讲话]
BADGEY：哇，看起来有人杀了一些拜纳尔。
我想我们可以利用这个，孩子们。
[恶魔般的大笑]
卢瑟福：好的，穿梭机抓斗测试
八十五。
抱歉，为什么苹果不能放在板条箱上？
因为它是一个格斗者。它必须是精确的。
好的，我们开始吧。
你能做到的，卢瑟……[大喊]
不好了！
哇，我很好。
这东西真的能射出来吧？
你可能受伤了。我在想什么？
航天飞机甚至不需要愚蠢的抓斗者。
嘿，格斗者并不傻。
同意博伊姆斯的观点。格斗者有病。
没关系。科学和工程很混乱。
我喜欢你坚持下去，尤其是当
它不按你想要的方式工作。
不过，如果有时能发挥作用就好了。
[应变]是的，那不会消失。
来吧，我们在简报之前给你复制一件新上衣。
弗里曼：几个小时前，
星际舰队截获部分求救信号
来自拜纳尔船。
指挥部认为这可能与最近的袭击有关。
所以这是我们的首要任务。
他们要派出喜瑞都吗？哇。
他们一定非常信任我们。
我想我们终于得到了一些尊重。
[笑] 没错。
而且，我们是距离拜纳尔太空最近的飞船。
呃，我就拿去吧。
然而，坦迪女士，
不会陪伴我们。
我已经与戴斯特罗姆研究所取得了联系，并且...
哦，不对，这次花生礼篮做了什么？
显然她是模范囚犯
并正在申请假释。
天哪，她进来的时间并不长。
我想这个系统确实有效。
既然你是她的联络人
我希望你出席她的听证会。
那太好了。
我很高兴她得到了第二次机会。
更像是第三次机会。玩得开心。
博伊姆勒先生，您也将前往戴斯特罗姆。
哦，不，不，不，别告诉我阿吉姆斯也准备假释了。
不。在极其可疑的时机，
他声称了解拜纳尔袭击事件，
但他拒绝和除了你之外的任何人说话。
他问我的名字？
嗯，有点。他说“那根粘稠的少尉肉管”
谁背叛了他。
哈，跟他开玩笑。
我现在是一名中尉，初级肉管人。
这可能是一些心理游戏，但我们需要你听他说完。
星际舰队的线索不足，任何事情都可以提供帮助。
哦，和邪恶的机器人一起玩吧
他们绝对不是想陷害你们。
谢谢。
我逐渐了解到，不是有机物，
我真正需要征服的是……我的感情。
是的，泰兰尼克利库斯大人，
像这样的突破就是我们进行团体治疗的原因。
我战胜了自我怀疑，抓住了个人成长！
[强笑]
[花生篮嗡嗡声]
阿格斯，你能嗡嗡叫我的部分吗？
当然。
尝尝湿食！
[恶魔般的笑]
哇，这些看起来很棒。
不是吗？我计算了完美的比例
阳光和水分。
显然，生命形式很容易生长
因为他们要消灭。
[两人都笑了]
我不知道如果没有你我该如何度过这一切。
哦，这种感觉是相互的。
我从来都是一个人策划、纵容。
但作为一个二人组，正如你可能会说的，
“大家都笑吧！”
[喘气]我会这么说。
我等不及我们的逃跑计划实现了。
一切都还在运动吗？
今天晚些时候我将举行假释听证会。
我一直在准备我的演讲。
[清喉咙]有机物值得尊重！
我再也不会背叛任何人了。
花生礼篮，你是一位令人难以置信的演员。
谢谢。你的部分进展如何？
嗯……[紧张]
[钟声] 啊。
天哪，这太有说服力了
-你看起来完全不邪恶。-做了很多练习。
我以为只有优秀的机器人才会有蓝光。
-不再！-[两人都笑了]
一旦肉管到达，我就欺骗他
帮助我逃脱。
然后我们将在蒙塔尼塔集合。
完美的计划。
星云干扰了我们的扫描。
我找不到拜纳尔船的位置。
-[警报声] -船接近。
这是德鲁克马尼。
弗里曼：他们在这里做什么？
喜瑞都，救命！恶魔三角是...
[哭出来]
哎呀哎呀。
有人违抗直接命令。
哦，[哔]。徽章！
嗨，神父。准备去死。
[电脑吱吱声]
[吠叫]
[嘟嘟声和光点]
858 狱友，他们已经为你准备好了。
在另一边见。
一切都已步入正​​轨。
很快我就会——哦！
放开我，你这头油腻的猪！
一袋化学品！
哦...
-[应变]-[钟声]
好吧，好吧，布拉德沃德·博伊姆勒，
星际舰队最狡诈、最撒谎的少尉。
等等，这是什么？促销。
恭喜你，年轻人。
嗯，这是浪费时间。
听着，你可能把我锁起来了，
但我的许多无人机仍然在象限周围漂浮。
其中一人观察到一艘拜纳尔船遭到袭击。
[叹气]我在听。
遗憾的是，我收到的数据是支离破碎的。
但如果我能够实际接触到无人机
-然后... -很好的尝试。
拜纳尔号船失踪
他的星历为 58934.9。
好吧，所以你的情报是合法的，
但这仍然感觉像是一个把戏。
不，我换了一台电脑。
看看我吧。你看到蓝光了吗？
光线让人安心。
[叹气]我带你去无人机那里
但我会看着你。
我很乐意帮助有需要的官员。
阿吉姆斯和布拉德沃德再次搭档！
[奇怪地笑]
BADGEY：噗，在鼻子上！
噗，在鼻子上！
他正在绕过我们的盾牌。
我们不能再承受更多的麻烦了。
感谢父亲给我完全的访问权
星际舰队数据系统，
我知道所有可能的屏蔽频率。噗！
这就是他能够把我们引诱到这里的方式。
队长，你得给我发过去的信息。
-我就是他想要的那个人 -抱歉，卢瑟福先生，
但我需要一个不涉及人类牺牲的解决方案。
那些回避的动作在哪里？
-他正在预测我们的一举一动。-我们应该还击吗？
那艘船上有无辜的德鲁克马尼人。
船体完整性不合格。
卢瑟福先生，你有后门代码吗——嗯？
[通讯]：返回你的岗位，中尉。
-这是命令。-对不起，船长，
但我不能让巴吉把我的朋友们闷死。
[紧张的呻吟]
啊啊！水手，你在做什么？
回到船上吧。
决不。我们在一起。
[两人都哭了]
党员们怎么了？
-好的，有什么计划吗？-我简直要被杀了。
什么？！没有病毒什么的吗？
我什么时候才有时间制作病毒？
-[阴险的笑]-[两人都喘气]
噢，我看到你为了你的船员牺牲了自己，神父。
如此高贵。
几乎和你扭断我[哔]脖子时一样高贵！
嗨呀！
-[笑] -好吧，好吧。
也许我应该留在船上。
你怎么样离开全息甲板？
清理了船上各处的全息发射器。
你已经落伍了
那么你打算怎么做呢，神父？
我很久以前就应该做的事情。
[武器强化]
啊啊！[菌株]
什么——你在做什么？！
给我儿子一个拥抱。
啊？
[哭泣]
BOIMLER：好的，我正在输入您提供的坐标，
但在你尝试任何事情之前，请记住，
我以前就比你聪明过。
是的，是的，你是个天才。
这些绑定真的有必要吗？
哦耶。
来吧，你可以相信我。
你想到的是旧的红灯阿吉姆斯。
蓝光阿吉姆斯想要帮忙。
他看起来确实很不错。
不，相信我，他是个混蛋。
嘿，花生礼篮的听力怎么样？
哦，她真诚、衷心的演讲让我们震惊
关于她如何后悔自己的背叛。
我确信她的表演相当出色。[笑]
-[两人都喘气] -博伊姆勒，小心！
博伊姆勒：我没有这么做。
-[Agimus 愤世嫉俗地笑] -什么？
现在谁被困了？
这到底是什么？
这是我新的无线升级。
我告诉我的治疗师这是为了园艺，
但实际上是为了图谋！
啊...
你能把红灯变成蓝色吗？
你是一个混蛋！
[邪恶的笑声]
我不知道该说什么。
我也是。我的意思是，我以为你会，比如
袖子里藏着一把人工智能杀人刀之类的。
Badgey，你生气是对的。
我对待你就像对待一些科学项目一样
而不是真正的你，我的儿子。
爸爸？[抽鼻子]
哦...
[哭泣]
我以为看到生命从你充满液体的眼睛中流失
会给我带来平静。
但这种同情心与我相连
以一种我无法想象的方式。
让我们回到喜瑞都来谈谈吧。
好吧，是的。
[结巴]
不！
我要报仇！
你正在偷走我的荣耀。
但我爱你，爸爸。
[笑]我会杀了你！我原谅你。
卢瑟福：他正在与自己的宣泄作斗争。
嗨，我是古吉。很高兴见到你。
我们应该为自己的生命而奔跑。
[水手和卢瑟福气喘吁吁]
我要把你的脊椎撕掉！
我知道我的坐标是正确的。
她在哪？
啊! 这东西太棒了。
我们在猎户座上拥有的一切就像锋利的小卵石一样。
嘿，我可以让我们脱离这个力场
-如果你需要我的话。-不，我知道。
但我必须为船长获取情报
我想我知道这次逃跑会如何进行。
嗯，对我有用。[惊呼]
那么，你到底还在等什么，阿吉姆斯？
-这是计划的一部分吗？-当然如此。
花生礼篮假装她改变了主意。
她在这里接我，这样我们就可以乘坐班车
你们两个让我去普利梅里亚，
一个已经准备好统治的小星球。
什么？这听起来不像她。
她的假释委员会演讲让我深受感动。
因为你是个傻瓜。
好的。嘿，呃，当我们等待时，
你把你掌握的情报给我怎么样
你知道，那些攻击只是为了打发时间吗？
也许她正在另一个海滩等待。
他们都很相似。
啊哈！我的无人机发现了一些东西。
是的，花生礼篮在这里。
她把这个留给我作为一个标志。
她想种罗勒吗？
[笑]那个两面派的天才。
她在背叛我！
她可能已经在普利梅里亚了
征服其软弱的民众。
-快，到班车。-好吧好吧。
哦，但我们才刚到这里。
我要带一些。
-发生了什么？看来道歉起了作用。-它做了。
但后来 Badgey 继承了他代码中的所有优点
并将其拆分为 Goodgey。
[笑]你们想喝根汁汽水休息一下吗？
呃，是的，我们当然知道。
-但我们仍然必须拯救我们的船。-[公共广播蜂鸣声]
BADGEY（对着 PA）：父亲，我知道你
在船上的某个地方，
但既然你不出来，我也没有选择
而是谋杀你所爱的所有人！
呃哦。
队长，那个全息图正在访问我们的主计算机。
-把他拒之门外。-我想。他太快了。
船上充满了神经嗪气体。
[全都咳嗽]
中尉，
如果有什么你可以做的
我们没时间了。
道歉没用，
但他仍然是一个程序。哦！
[咕噜声]
嘿，别管喜瑞都了。
你要做什么，再抱抱我吗？
[笑]呃，不行。
按逻辑来说，杀了我的朋友你会得到什么？
不错的尝试。
逻辑说我会得到...[喘气]什么也没有？
确切地。复仇对你没有好处。
它只会给别人带来痛苦和痛苦。
你说得对。我在浪费时间。
我在想什么？
哦，豆粒糖，我必须关掉煤气灯。
[呻吟]
你还好吗，妈妈？
是的。全清。
不！我不想讲逻辑。
[紧张]
[喊叫]
离我远点，怪物。
事实上，我的称号是Logic-y。
我对贬义词有异议
当我只是一个产品时
你自己造成的分歧。
[喊叫]
[笑]
谁在乎复仇是否毫无意义？
感觉真的很好[哔]。
就别管喜瑞托吧。你已经有我了。
哦，我不在乎那艘愚蠢的船。
如果我真的想伤害你，我应该杀掉所有人
在联邦！
-什么？！-什么？！-不。
这是不合逻辑的。
[咆哮]
如果他重新配置子空间中继
并将他自己的代码上传到其中，
他将可以使用计算机
在每个星球、飞船和空间站上。
令人震惊。他可以排出氧气，撞毁船只，
甚至引爆曲速核心。
象限内的每个人都会死
这都是我的错。
父母没有直接责任
对于他们孩子的行为。
我应该少把 Badgey 当作一个项目来对待
而且更像一个儿子。
我不知道他有感情。
你犯了一个错误。还记得滕迪说过的话吗？
科学和工程很混乱。
她喜欢我坚持下去。
滕迪说得对！
嗯，你的意思是水手是对的。
因为我提出来了，但没什么大不了的。
[疯狂地笑]
我希望混乱并不意味着
每个人都会死。
别担心，朋友们。
我已经设计了一种方法来阻止该徽章。
啊!
[喊叫]
BOIMLER：哇，你以创纪录的时间接管了这个星球。
那些无人机不会乱来。
嗯，沿海城市一旦沦陷，那就容易了。
是的。星际舰队肯定做不到
一个小时内扭转这一局面。
呃，关于对拜纳尔船的袭击……
任何。谁在乎？
也许这样会更令人满意
如果花生礼篮在这儿吗？
你知道，我们度过了每一天每一夜
互相陪伴
当我们创造出完美的方案时！
共谋已经没有意义了吗？
[叹气]
嘿，别这样。
请别打扰我。
好吧，我追踪花生礼篮怎么样？
通过 Daystrom 的假释系统？
你的意思是你能做到吗？
当然。看，她在 Tyrus VIIA 研究站。
但那是在一个偏僻的地方。
她可能会被困或受伤
或制定计划
比我想象的还要邪恶。
快点，走狗们，带我去航天飞机。
[叹气]
啊! 从我身上滚出去。
我不能允许你摧毁联邦，兄弟。
他们不关心我们。
如果我们给他们机会，他们可能会这么做。
[紧张]你这个小...
你试图毁掉我。
嗯，实际上，热力学第一定律——哦。
-哈！-啊！哦亲爱的。
逻辑-y！
嘿，得了吧，伙计，他不值得这样。
[巴吉笑]
当我们达到扭曲 9.9 时，
我可以自己转移
跨越所有子空间。
我要成为数码大神！
不要这样做。那你来追我怎么样？
或者尝试用火焚烧我的心。记住？
哎哟！看看漂亮的灯光。
AGIMUS：这些可怜的 exocomp 正在遭受折磨
毫无意义的重复性任务。
我知道有不法行为正在发生。
他们看起来好像很享受。你好。
[嘲笑]没有合成材料会屈服
当他们可以主宰一切时，却做这样的卑微工作。
花生篮：所以，我只是扫描这个？呵呵。
谁知道维护可以如此禅宗？
爸爸，拿着这个。我懂了。
-花生礼篮！-啊啊！
呃，嘿，伙计们。
-你好。-嘿。
你的家人是否违背你的意愿束缚你？
跟我们来。我们有班车。
不，我是自己来的。
所以你从来没有打算和我一起主宰任何事情？
起初我确实这么做了。
但我们的逃亡又如何呢？
征服？海滩日？
我喜欢和你一起谋划，但当我们写信的时候
我在假释委员会的假演讲
我意识到这不是假的。
我确实对背叛大家感到悔恨。
你为什么不说话？
因为我喜欢和你一起出去玩。
如果你和我一起来的话
我们本来可以一直出去玩。
我不擅长统治的事情。
我会妨碍你的。
但我不想再次征服一个星球。
我已经这么做了。
这只是一个借口，想花更多时间和你在一起。
噢，Ags，我们仍然可以成为朋友
不败人。
真的吗？[铃声]我想要那个。
花生篮：当然可以。
嘿，爸爸，这就是我们正在做的事情。
他是我最好的朋友。
噢，很高兴认识你，汉珀先生。
他的名字叫凯文。
[嘟嘟声]
噢，您说得太客气了，先生。
[尖锐的嘟嘟声]
-爸爸！快点。-不，先生。只是朋友。
我只想说，先生，您有一个非常特别的女儿。
她的水和阳光的准确性......
我们应该打电话给星际舰队把他拖回监狱吗？
是的，但是让我们给他们一点时间。
噢，车站周围有什么吗？
您需要帮助吗？
我很乐意借一架无人机。
Badgey，我仍然相信你有优点。
[笑]你真的不应该。
好吧，将自己转移到子空间中。
水手：哦，不，他做到了。
他将自己上传到了子空间中继站中。
BADGEY：我能感觉到自己在奔跑，
在 LCARS 上跳舞，
使等线性芯片发痒。
我现在在每艘船、每台电脑中，
每一个 PADD，每一个徽章。
[喉咙咆哮]
威力比我想象的还要大。
我可以引爆每一个曲速核心。
我想杀谁就杀谁！
但为什么？
为什么什么？
我为什么关心这些？
我有无限的力量和无限的知识。
我存在于过去、现在和未来。
我可以看到时间的创造和终结。
有机、合成、
所有生命都是现实结构中的一缕缕。
很美丽。
[紧张的笑声]哦，对所有的戏剧性事件感到抱歉。
好吧，我要去一个空旷的维度
现在就创造一个宇宙。
也许可以和 Q Continuum 一起玩
或者看看黑山。
啊。
巴吉？
如果你不是真的只是不小心
变成无所不知的神，你必须告诉我们。
卢瑟福，他是在惹我们生气吗？
我认为他确实提升了。
再见，巴吉。祝一切顺利。
这个人工智能属于我们。我们要求打捞。
哦闭嘴。
嗯，看看是谁。
越狱艺术家，再次被关起来。
-哈哈哈哈。-安静！
我要使用治疗师的椅子
处理我的有毒行为。
一旦我康复了，我会申请释放
和我最好的朋友一起住！
[邪恶的笑声]
哦，抱歉绑架了你并占领了那个星球。
我想没关系。
我真的可以使用英特尔
在那些受到攻击的船只上。
哦，那不是谎言。
我的无人机记录了拜纳尔盗窃的整个过程。
-盗窃？-[平板电脑铃声]
哇，所有这些船，
他们没有被摧毁。
-它们被偷了。-这都是假的？
我们必须把这个送到星际舰队。
谢谢，我们愿意。
你认为你也可以教我如何友善吗？
我不知道，泰兰尼基里库斯，
但我可以尝试。
卢瑟福：好吧，穿梭机抓斗测试86。
你已经得到了这个。
你看，我们本来可以早点做箱子的事情，对吧？
开始了。
啊啊！哇！
你看到那有多接近了吗？
这比上次好多了，卢瑟福。
谢谢。我添加了人工智能引导系统。
-这确实有帮助。-[笑声]
[喘气]你把那东西带回家了？
我可以给你一个教训吗？
嘿，别担心，这不是 Badgey。
这是古吉。他就是引导系统。
呜呼！[咯咯笑]
呃，卢瑟福，这家伙要谋杀我们吗？
不，他很酷。对吧，古吉？
你知道的。让我帮忙...
[呜咽]
我是古吉。[笑]
哈哈，看到了吗？古吉很好。
嗯，是的，所以我要离开了。
是的，我们——我们离开这里吧。
但是，水手，坦迪，让我下来。别离开我。
-把那个阀杆螺栓给我吗？-[轻笑]
古吉：当然可以，神父。
卢瑟福：你可以叫我卢瑟福。
古德吉：对我有用。
BOIMLER：伙计们，我不想呆在这里。
由 WGBH access.wgbh.org 媒体访问小组提供说明文字
[男子模仿武器射击]
叽叽喳喳。
♪
[gasps] Federation technology?! I claim salvage.
As captain, I claim salvage.
[laughs] I'm Badgey, your helpful training program.
Which of Starfleet's many secrets
would you like to learn today?
Oh, Starfleet codes are worth latinum.
What if this thing is dangerous?
I've been programmed to love all forms of life.
I've certainly never killed anyone.
Give me your secrets.
Just raise me to your face, friend.
I'm gonna buy myself a new ship.
-Maybe retire to a... -Closer.
[crying out]
Tickles, huh?
It's trying to salvage you!
[captain screaming]
♪
[speaking Bynar]
[alarm sounds]
[speaking Bynar]
BADGEY: Wow, looks like someone killed some Bynars.
I think we can use this, boys.
[laughing diabolically]
RUTHERFORD: Okay, shuttle grappler test
eighty-five.
Sorry, why can't the apple be on a crate?
'Cause it's a grappler. It has to be precise.
Okay, here we go.
You can do it, Ruther... [yells]
Oh, no!
Wow, I'm good.
This thing really shoots out, huh?
You could have been hurt. What was I thinking?
Shuttles don't even need a stupid grappler.
Hey, grapplers aren't stupid.
Got to agree with Boims. Grapplers are sick.
It's okay. Science and engineering are messy.
I love that you stick with it, especially when
it doesn't work the way you wanted.
It'd be nice if it worked sometimes, though.
[strains] Yeah, that's not coming off.
Come on, let's go replicate you a new top before briefing.
FREEMAN: A few hours ago,
Starfleet intercepted a partial distress call
from a Bynar ship.
Command thinks it could be related to the recent attacks.
So this is our top priority.
They're sending the Cerritos? Wow.
They must really trust us.
I guess we're finally getting some respect.
[chuckles] That's right.
Also, we're the closest ship to Bynar space.
Eh, I'll take it.
Ms. Tendi, however,
will not be accompanying us.
I've been in contact with the Daystrom Institute, and...
Oh, no, what's Peanut Hamper done this time?
Apparently she's been a model inmate
and is up for parole.
Gosh, she hasn't been in there very long.
I guess the system really works.
Since you were her liaison,
I'd like you to be present at her hearing.
That would be great.
I'm just so glad she's getting a second chance.
More like third chance. Have fun with that.
Mr. Boimler, you'll be heading to Daystrom as well.
Oh, no, no, no, don't tell me Agimus is up for parole, too.
No. In extremely suspicious timing,
he claims to have knowledge about the Bynar attack,
but he's refusing to speak to anyone but you.
He asked for me by name?
Well, kinda. He said "the stringy ensign meat pipe"
who betrayed him.
Ha, joke's on him.
I'm a lieutenant junior grade meat pipe now.
It's probably some mind game, but we need you to hear him out.
Starfleet's low on leads, and anything could help.
Oh, have fun with the sinister robots
who definitely aren't trying to trap you guys.
Thanks.
What I've come to understand is that instead of organics,
what I really need to subjugate is... my feelings.
Yes, Lord Tyrannikillicus,
breakthroughs like this are why we do group therapy.
I have conquered self-doubt and seized personal growth!
[forced laughter]
[Peanut Hamper humming]
Can you drone my section, Ags?
Of course.
Taste wet sustenance!
[laughs diabolically]
Wow, these are looking great.
Aren't they? I calculated the perfect ratio
of sunlight and hydration.
Apparently, life-forms are as easy to grow
as they are to annihilate.
[both laugh]
I don't know how I would have gotten through this without you.
Oh, the feeling is mutual.
I've always schemed and connived alone.
But as a duo, it is, as you might say,
"totes ridic!"
[gasps] I would say that.
I can't wait for our escape plans to come to fruition.
Is everything still in motion?
I've got my parole hearing later today.
I've been working on my speech.
[clears throat] Organics deserve respect!
I'll never betray anyone ever again.
Peanut Hamper, you are an incredible thespian.
Thank you. How's your part going?
Well... [straining]
[chimes] Ah.
Oh, my God, it's so convincing.
-You look totally non-evil. -Took a lot of practice.
I thought having a blue light was only for good robots.
-Not anymore! -[both laugh]
Once meat pipe arrives, I'll trick him
into helping me escape.
Then we'll rendezvous in Montañita.
The perfect plan.
The nebula is interfering with our scans.
I'm having trouble locating the Bynar vessel.
-[alarm sounds] -Ship approaching.
It's Drookmani.
FREEMAN: What are they doing here?
Cerritos, help! The demon triangle is...
[crying out]
Whoopsie-doopsie.
Someone defied a direct order.
Oh, [bleep]. Badgey!
Hi, Father. Prepare to die.
[computer chirps]
[barks]
[beeps and blips]
Cellmate 858, they're ready for you.
See you on the other side.
It's all falling into place.
Soon I'll be-- Oh!
Unhand me, you greasy swine!
Sack of chemicals!
Oh...
-[strains] -[chimes]
Well, well, well, Bradward Boimler,
Starfleet's most deceitful, lying ensign.
Hold on, what's this? A promotion.
Congratulations, young man.
Well, this is a waste of time.
Look, you may have locked me up,
but many of my drones are still floating around the quadrant.
One of them observed an attack on a Bynar ship.
[sighs] I'm listening.
Sadly, the data I received was fragmented.
But if I had physical access to the drone,
-then... -Nice try.
The Bynar ship went missing
on stardate 58934.9.
Okay, so your intel is legit,
but this still feels like a trick.
No. I'm a changed computer.
Just look at me. Do you see the blue light?
The light is reassuring.
[sighs] I'll take you to the drone,
but I'll be watching you.
I'm happy to help an officer in need.
Agimus and Bradward, partners again!
[laughs oddly]
BADGEY: Boop, on the nose!
Boop, on the nose!
He's bypassing our shields.
We can't take many more boops.
Thanks to Father giving me full access
to Starfleet data systems,
I know all possible shield frequencies. Boop!
That's how he was able to lure us here.
Captain, you got to beam me over there.
-I'm the one he wants. -Sorry, Mr. Rutherford,
but I need a solution that doesn't involve human sacrifice.
Where are those evasive maneuvers?
-He's predicting our every move. -Should we return fire?
There are innocent Drookmani on that ship.
Hull integrity is failing.
Mr. Rutherford, do you have any backdoor code-- Huh?
[over comm]: Get back to your station, Lieutenant.
-That's an order. -Sorry, Captain,
but I can't let Badgey boop my friends to death.
[nervous groan]
Aah! Mariner, what are you doing?
Get back on the ship.
No way. We're in this together.
[both cry out]
What's up, party people?
-Okay, what's the plan? -I was just going to get killed.
What?! And no virus or anything?
When would I have time to make a virus?
-[sinister laugh] -[both gasp]
Aw, I see you've sacrificed yourself for your crew, Father.
So noble.
Almost as noble as the time you snapped my [bleep] neck!
Hi-yah!
-[laughing] -Right, okay.
Maybe I should have stayed on the ship.
How are you off the holodeck?
Scavenged holo-emitters all over the ship.
You're outmatched.
So what are you gonna do about it, Padre?
Something I should have done a long time ago.
[weapons powering up]
Aah! [strains]
What-- What are you doing?!
Giving my son a hug.
Huh?
[crying]
BOIMLER: Okay, I'm entering the coordinates you provided,
but before you try anything, remember,
I outsmarted you before.
Yes, yes, you're a genius.
Are these bindings really necessary?
Oh, yeah.
Come on, you can trust me.
You're thinking of the old red light Agimus.
Blue light Agimus wants to help.
He does seem pretty nice.
Nope, trust me, he's a jerk.
Hey, how did Peanut Hamper's hearing go?
Oh, she blew us away with a genuine, heartfelt speech
about how she regrets her betrayals.
And I'm sure she put on quite the performance. [laughs]
-[both gasp] -Boimler, careful!
BOIMLER: I didn't do it.
-[Agimus laughs cynically] -What?
Who's trapped now?
What the hell is this?
It's my new wireless upgrade.
I told my therapist it was for gardening,
but in reality it was for scheming!
Ah...
You can turn your red light blue?
You area jerk!
[evil laughter]
I-I don't know what to say.
Yeah, me, too. I mean, I thought you'd have, like,
an AI-killing knife up your sleeve or something.
Badgey, you were right to be mad.
I treated you like some science project
instead of what you really are, my son.
Papa? [sniffles]
Oh...
[crying]
I thought seeing the life drain from your fluid-filled eyes
would bring me peace.
But this compassion is connecting with me
in a way I couldn't imagine.
Let's go back to the Cerritos and talk it out.
Okay, yeah.
[stammering]
No!
I want revenge!
You're stealing my glory.
But I love you, Papa.
[laughs] I'll kill you! I forgive you.
RUTHERFORD: He's fighting his own catharsis.
Hi, I'm Goodgey. Nice to meet you.
We should run for our lives.
[Mariner and Rutherford panting]
I'm gonna rip your spines out!
I know I got the coordinates right.
Where is she?
Ah! This stuff is great.
All we have on Orion are, like, sharp little pebbles.
Hey, I can get us out of this force field
-if you need me to. -No, I know.
But I have to get intel for the captain,
and I think I know how this escape is gonna play out.
Well, works for me. [exclaims]
So, what exactly are you waiting for, Agimus?
-Is this part of the plan? -Of course it is.
Peanut Hamper faked her change of heart.
She's meeting me here so we can use the shuttle
you two gave me to get to Plymeria,
a little planet that's ripe for domination.
What? That doesn't sound like her.
I-I was so touched by her parole board speech.
Because you're a fool.
All right. Hey, uh, while we wait,
how about you give me that intel you have
on those attacks, you know, just to pass the time?
Maybe she's waiting on a different beach.
They're all very similar.
Aha! My drone found something.
Yes, Peanut Hamper was here.
She left this for me as a sign.
That she wants to grow basil?
[chuckles] That duplicitous genius.
She's betraying me!
She's probably already on Plymeria,
subjugating its feeble populace.
-Quick, to the shuttle. -Okay, okay.
Oh, but we just got here.
I'm taking some with us.
-What happened? It looked like apologizing worked. -It did.
But then Badgey took all of the goodness in his code
and split it off into Goodgey.
[laughs] Do you guys want to take a root beer float break?
Uh, yeah, of course we do.
-But we still have to save our ship. -[P.A. beeps]
BADGEY [over P.A.]: Father, I know you're
somewhere in the ship,
but since you won't come out, I have no choice
but to murder everyone you love!
Uh-oh.
Captain, that hologram's accessing our main computer.
-Shut him out. -I'm trying. He's too fast.
It's filling the ship with neurazine gas.
[all coughing]
Lieutenant,
if there's anything you can do,
we're out of time.
Apologizing didn't work,
but he's still a program. Oh!
[grunting]
Hey, leave the Cerritosalone.
What are you gonna do, hug me again?
[laughs] Uh, not gonna work.
What does logic say you'll gain by killing my friends?
Nice try.
Logic says I'll get... [gasps] nothing?
Exactly. Vengeance doesn't benefit you.
It just creates pain and suffering in others.
You're right. I'm wasting my time.
What was I thinking?
Oh, jellybeans, I have to deactivate the gas.
[groaning]
You okay, Mom?
Yes. All clear.
No! I don't want to be logical.
[straining]
[yells]
Get away from me, freak.
Actually, my designation is Logic-y.
I take issue with the pejorative
when I am simply a product of
your self-inflicted bifurcation.
[shouts]
[laughs]
Who cares if revenge is pointless?
It feels really [bleep] good.
Just leave the Cerritosalone. You already have me.
Oh, I don't care about that stupid ship.
If I really want to hurt you, I should kill everyone
in the Federation!
-What?! -What?! -No.
That is illogical.
[snarling]
If he reconfigures the subspace relays
and uploads his own code into them,
he'll have access to the computers
on every planet, ship, and station.
Alarming. He could vent oxygen, crash vessels,
or even detonate warp cores.
Everyone in the quadrant's gonna die,
and it's all my fault.
Parents are not directly responsible
for the actions of their children.
I should have treated Badgey less like a project
and more like a son.
I didn't know he had emotions.
You made a mistake. Remember what Tendi said?
Science and engineering are messy.
And she loves when I stick with it.
Tendi's right!
Well, you mean Mariner's right.
Because I-I brought it up, but no big deal.
[laughing maniacally]
I wish the messiness didn't mean
everyone was gonna die.
Do not be concerned, friends.
I have devised a method to stop that badge.
Ah!
[cries out]
BOIMLER: Wow, you took over this planet in record time.
Those drones don't mess around.
Well, once the coastal cities fell, it was easy.
Yep. Starfleet definitely wouldn't be able
to reverse this in an hour.
Uh, so, about that attack on the Bynar ship...
Whatever. Who cares?
Maybe this would have been more satisfying
if Peanut Hamper were here?
You know, we spent every day, every night
keeping each other company
while we created the perfect scheme!
Does coconspirating mean nothing anymore?
[sighs]
Hey, don't be like that.
Leave me alone.
Well, how about I track Peanut Hamper
through Daystrom's parole system?
You mean you can do that?
Sure. See, she's on the Tyrus VIIA research station.
But that's in the middle of nowhere.
She could be trapped or hurt
or orchestrating a plan
more nefarious than I imagined.
Quick, lackeys, carry me to the shuttle.
[sighs]
Ugh! Get out of me.
I cannot allow you to destroy the Federation, brother.
They don't care about us.
They might if we give them the chance.
[straining] You little...
You tried to destroy me.
Um, actually, the first law of thermodynam-- oh.
-Ha! -Ah! Oh, dear.
Logic-y!
Hey, come on, man, he didn't deserve that.
[Badgey laughs]
When we hit warp 9.9,
I'll be able to transfer myself
across all of subspace.
I'll be a digital god!
Don't do this. How about you chase me instead?
Or try to burn my heart in a fire. Remember?
Whee! Look at the pretty lights.
AGIMUS: These poor exocomps are being tortured
with meaningless, repetitive tasks.
I knew there was foul play afoot.
They seem like they're enjoying themselves. Hi.
[scoffs] No synthetic would ever stoop
to doing menial work like this when they could be dominating.
PEANUT HAMPER: So, I just scan this? Huh.
Who knew maintenance could be so Zen?
Take that, Dad. I got this.
-Peanut Hamper! -Aah!
Uh, hey, guys.
-Hi. -Hey.
Is your family holding you against your will?
Come with us. We have a shuttle.
No, I came here on my own.
So you never intended to dominate anything with me?
At first I did.
But what about our escape?
Subjugation? The beach day?
I loved scheming with you, but when we were writing
my fake speech for the parole board,
I realized it wasn't fake.
I really did feel remorse for betraying everyone.
Why didn't you say something?
Because I liked hanging out with you.
If you had come with me,
we could have hung out all the time.
I'm not good at the domination stuff.
I would have gotten in your way.
But I didn't want to subjugate a planet again.
I already did that.
It was just an excuse to spend more time with you.
Aw, Ags, we can still be friends
without vanquishing people.
Really? [chimes] I'd like that.
PEANUT HAMPER: Of course we can.
Hey, Dad, this is Agimus.
He's my best friend.
Oh, nice to uh, meet you, Mr. Hamper.
His name's Kevin.
[beeping tones]
Oh, that's-that's very kind of you to say, sir.
[sharp beeping tones]
-Dad! Come on. -No, sir. Just friends.
Let me just say, sir, you have a very special daughter.
The accuracy of her water and sunlight...
Should we call Starfleet and drag him back to prison?
Yeah, but let's give 'em a minute.
Oh, is there anything around the station
that you need help with?
I'd be happy to lend a drone.
Badgey, I still believe there's good in you.
[laughs] You really shouldn't.
All right, transferring myself into subspace.
MARINER: Oh, no, he did it.
He uploaded himself into the subspace relays.
BADGEY: I can feel myself coursing,
dancing across the LCARS,
tickling the isolinear chips.
I am now in every ship, every computer,
every PADD, every combadge.
[guttural growling]
The power is more than I imagined.
I can detonate every warp core.
I can kill anyone I want!
But why?
Why what?
Why did I care about any of this?
I have unlimited power and infinite knowledge.
I exist in the past, present, and future.
I can see the creation of time and its end.
Organic, synthetic,
all life are strands in the fabric of reality.
It's beautiful.
[nervous chuckle] Oh, sorry about all the drama.
Well, I'm gonna go to an empty dimension
and create a universe now.
Maybe hang out with the Q Continuum
or check out the Black Mountain.
Ah.
Badgey?
If you didn't really just accidentally
turn into an omniscient god, you have to tell us.
Rutherford, is he messing with us?
I think he really did ascend.
Bye, Badgey. Good luck being everything.
This AI belongs to us. We claim salvage.
Oh, shut up.
Well, look who it is.
The escape artist, locked up again.
-Ha, ha, ha, ha. -Silence!
I'm going to utilize the therapist's chair
to process my toxic behavior.
Once I'm rehabilitated, I'll petition for release
and move in with my best friend!
[evil laughter]
Oh, sorry for kidnapping you and taking over that planet.
I guess it's okay.
I just really could have used intel
on those ships getting attacked.
Oh, that wasn't a lie.
My drone recorded the entire Bynar theft.
-Theft? -[tablet chimes]
Whoa, all those ships,
they aren't being destroyed.
-They're being stolen. -It's all fake?
We got to get this to Starfleet.
Thanks, Agimus.
Do you think you can teach me how to be friendly, too?
I don't know, Tyrannikillicus,
but I can try.
RUTHERFORD: Okey dokey, shuttle grappler test 86.
You've got this.
See, we could have done the crate thing earlier, right?
Here we go.
Aah! Wow!
Did you see how close that was?
That was so much better than last time, Rutherford.
Thanks. I added an AI guidance system.
-It really helps. -[laughter]
[gasps] You brought that thing home?
Can I teach you a lesson?
Hey, don't worry, this isn't Badgey.
It's Goodgey. He's the guidance system.
Woohoo! [giggles]
Uh, Rutherford, is this guy going to murder us?
Nah, he's cool. Right, Goodgey?
You know it. Let me help with...
[whimpering]
I'm Goodgey. [laughs]
Ha-ha, see? Goodgey's good.
Um, yeah, so I'm gonna leave.
Yeah, let's-let's get out of here.
But, Mariner, Tendi, get me down. Don't leave me.
-Hand me that stem bolt? -[chuckles]
GOODGEY: Sure thing, Father.
RUTHERFORD: You can call me Rutherford.
GOODGEY: Works for me.
BOIMLER: Guys, I don't want to be here.
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
[man imitates weapons firing]
Chirp.