1 00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:03,311 - Chapter 26. 2 00:00:03,411 --> 00:00:05,553 Tom's 40th birthday was approaching, 3 00:00:05,653 --> 00:00:07,796 and he was hoping his family would let it pass quietly. 4 00:00:07,896 --> 00:00:10,960 - Lordy, Lordy, my boy is almost 40. 5 00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:12,922 Here it is, Tommy. Middle age. 6 00:00:13,022 --> 00:00:14,885 - All right, well, thank you for the reminder, Dad. 7 00:00:14,985 --> 00:00:16,727 - Yeah, I'm just sorry I'm gonna be the only one 8 00:00:16,827 --> 00:00:17,969 in town for your big day. 9 00:00:18,069 --> 00:00:20,452 You know, your mom wishes she could be here. 10 00:00:20,552 --> 00:00:23,015 - Yeah, well, I'd hate for her to turn down a role in a... 11 00:00:23,115 --> 00:00:25,177 over-60 production of "Grease." - Yeah. 12 00:00:25,277 --> 00:00:26,319 - Besides, she knows I don't like to make a big deal 13 00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:29,343 about my birthday. - Tom, but this is 40. 14 00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:31,185 You think they made a whole movie with that title 15 00:00:31,285 --> 00:00:32,947 for no reason? You gotta do something. 16 00:00:33,047 --> 00:00:34,909 - I am doing something. I'm working. 17 00:00:35,009 --> 00:00:36,672 This is the deadline that I gave myself 18 00:00:36,772 --> 00:00:37,793 to turn in my novel. 19 00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:39,034 - Oh, you got to admire the commitment. 20 00:00:39,134 --> 00:00:41,638 I mean, I wish I'd given my little stories a shot, 21 00:00:41,738 --> 00:00:43,920 but, uh, nobody wants to read that stuff. 22 00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:46,283 - Hey, I love "The Marshall Chronicles." 23 00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:48,005 An old cop who doesn't play by the rules? 24 00:00:48,105 --> 00:00:49,888 - [laughs] - Dad, the world is ready. 25 00:00:49,988 --> 00:00:51,289 - Yeah, there's still time for you 26 00:00:51,389 --> 00:00:54,133 and Detective Marshall Strongwood. 27 00:00:54,233 --> 00:00:55,415 I always tell my students 28 00:00:55,515 --> 00:00:57,297 Mark Twain was 41 when he published "Tom Sawyer." 29 00:00:57,397 --> 00:00:59,780 - Same age as Bradley Cooper when he did "Aloha." 30 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:00,821 - Great flick. 31 00:01:00,921 --> 00:01:03,064 - Good point. 32 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,507 - Marina, can I borrow your giant snack platter thing 33 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,149 that you never use? - Which one? 34 00:01:07,249 --> 00:01:09,151 Whenever I go to Target, I buy another. 35 00:01:09,251 --> 00:01:11,474 I don't know why. It's like I black out. 36 00:01:11,574 --> 00:01:13,317 - Well, uh, we're having Simon, 37 00:01:13,417 --> 00:01:15,800 the personal trainer slash potential donor, over. 38 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,162 - Ooh. I know I just met him briefly, 39 00:01:18,262 --> 00:01:19,524 but I would pick him as a sperm donor 40 00:01:19,624 --> 00:01:20,926 for his calves alone. 41 00:01:21,026 --> 00:01:23,008 - You guys, are we really gonna let Tom's 40th go by 42 00:01:23,108 --> 00:01:24,691 without doing anything big? 43 00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:26,533 - You know Tom and birthday parties. 44 00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:29,096 No, I'm just keeping it simple, like he wants it. 45 00:01:29,196 --> 00:01:30,938 Just dinner at Gianno's. 46 00:01:31,038 --> 00:01:31,879 - You guys go there for chicken Parm, 47 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,381 like, once a week. - Yeah. 48 00:01:33,481 --> 00:01:35,183 When it's your birthday, they do double cheese. 49 00:01:35,283 --> 00:01:36,385 - Okay. - What is it with Tom 50 00:01:36,485 --> 00:01:37,626 and birthday parties? 51 00:01:37,726 --> 00:01:38,908 - Well... - [sighs] 52 00:01:39,008 --> 00:01:40,270 - When Tom was 11, 53 00:01:40,370 --> 00:01:42,432 he had a party at Showbuzz PizzaTown. 54 00:01:42,532 --> 00:01:43,914 But before the animatronic gorilla 55 00:01:44,014 --> 00:01:45,716 could rap "Booyah, It's Your B-Day," 56 00:01:45,816 --> 00:01:47,278 Connor pantsed Tom. 57 00:01:47,378 --> 00:01:49,000 To the skin. - Oh, that's bad. 58 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,083 - I didn't mean to do full pants. 59 00:01:51,183 --> 00:01:52,805 Look, let me fix this, okay? 60 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,008 I'll throw Tom a party so sick, 61 00:01:55,108 --> 00:01:56,770 he'll forget about the pizza trauma 62 00:01:56,870 --> 00:01:58,872 and love birthdays again. 63 00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:02,857 Is that a yes or... - Oh, I'm sorry. 64 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,700 When you guys, uh, start telling family stories, 65 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,061 I just kind of zone out. 66 00:02:06,161 --> 00:02:07,063 - I get that. 67 00:02:07,163 --> 00:02:09,566 - ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 68 00:02:11,848 --> 00:02:14,031 [light punchy music] 69 00:02:14,131 --> 00:02:16,114 - Don't you need to get to your class? 70 00:02:16,214 --> 00:02:18,477 - Just finishing up. 71 00:02:18,577 --> 00:02:20,559 - So you're almost done with your book? 72 00:02:20,659 --> 00:02:21,961 That's great. - Yeah, well, 73 00:02:22,061 --> 00:02:23,403 I'm almost done writing it, 74 00:02:23,503 --> 00:02:24,724 but then I have to do a grammar pass 75 00:02:24,824 --> 00:02:26,526 and a semicolon pass. 76 00:02:26,626 --> 00:02:27,928 I gotta make sure all the quotation marks are the-- 77 00:02:28,028 --> 00:02:29,450 you know, the-- - Curly ones? 78 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,571 - Yeah, that I like. 79 00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:32,374 Plus, I also gotta figure out... 80 00:02:32,474 --> 00:02:33,775 what your fictional name is gonna be. 81 00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:34,897 Is it Carmen? 82 00:02:34,997 --> 00:02:36,739 Is it, ooh, Celinda? 83 00:02:36,839 --> 00:02:39,382 - First of all, there's no way in hell I'm a Celinda. 84 00:02:39,482 --> 00:02:40,944 Second of all, sounds like you might be 85 00:02:41,044 --> 00:02:42,706 avoiding turning this in. - Uh, yeah. 86 00:02:42,806 --> 00:02:43,708 Of course I'm avoiding it. 87 00:02:43,808 --> 00:02:44,949 After my last book tanked, 88 00:02:45,049 --> 00:02:47,032 I put everything into this one. 89 00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,193 Honestly, it's the most personal thing 90 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,355 I've ever written. 91 00:02:49,455 --> 00:02:51,457 If this one flops too, I mean... 92 00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:55,001 I don't know, maybe that's it for me as a writer. 93 00:02:55,101 --> 00:02:56,483 Then what do I have? 94 00:02:56,583 --> 00:02:58,606 - I don't know, I would say a beautiful wife. 95 00:02:58,706 --> 00:03:00,608 Three wonderful children. 96 00:03:00,708 --> 00:03:02,250 - Yeah, but what else? 97 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,452 Hmm. - [sighs] 98 00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:04,613 - Guess that's it. 99 00:03:04,713 --> 00:03:05,815 - Yeah. - Well, we tried. 100 00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:07,537 ♪ ♪ 101 00:03:07,637 --> 00:03:09,860 - Hey, came to get that platter. 102 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,382 I need one that tells our donor, 103 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,825 "I'm the ideal vessel for your DNA." 104 00:03:13,925 --> 00:03:15,266 - Hi, Denise. Bye, Denise. 105 00:03:15,366 --> 00:03:17,389 Love you, Isabella? Fernanda? Paulina? 106 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,671 - Love you, bye. 107 00:03:18,771 --> 00:03:19,712 Not Fernanda. 108 00:03:19,812 --> 00:03:21,274 - Is Tom okay? 109 00:03:21,374 --> 00:03:22,415 Seemed like he didn't know your name just then. 110 00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:24,117 - Oh, he's just going through something. 111 00:03:24,217 --> 00:03:26,720 The book and his career and turning 40. 112 00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:27,762 - Right, that's a lot. 113 00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:29,924 Have you settled on a gift? 114 00:03:30,024 --> 00:03:32,407 - A "Ghostbusters" Funko Pop! 115 00:03:32,507 --> 00:03:33,969 - Okay. 116 00:03:34,069 --> 00:03:35,011 I think we can beat that. [laughs] 117 00:03:35,111 --> 00:03:37,013 - I doubt it. It's Annie Potts. 118 00:03:37,113 --> 00:03:39,857 - You know, I think I have an idea 119 00:03:39,957 --> 00:03:41,619 that'll make Tom lose his mind. 120 00:03:41,719 --> 00:03:42,980 - I'm listening. 121 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,262 - Boudoir photos. 122 00:03:44,362 --> 00:03:45,664 - Oh, pfft. 123 00:03:45,764 --> 00:03:47,506 [laughs] - I'm being serious. 124 00:03:47,606 --> 00:03:50,229 I took some sexy photos for Sarah 125 00:03:50,329 --> 00:03:51,951 and made a page-a-day calendar. 126 00:03:52,051 --> 00:03:53,714 365 days of Denise. 127 00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:55,195 There were some repeats. 128 00:03:55,295 --> 00:03:56,677 - I don't know, I don't feel sexy. 129 00:03:56,777 --> 00:03:58,960 I just had twins, like, six minutes ago. 130 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:01,123 And some stranger taking pictures of my business? 131 00:04:01,223 --> 00:04:03,165 - Okay, well, I'll take your pictures. 132 00:04:03,265 --> 00:04:04,967 We've tried on bikinis for, like, five hours 133 00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:06,369 in the Billabong outlet. 134 00:04:06,469 --> 00:04:07,691 I've seen your business. 135 00:04:07,791 --> 00:04:09,893 - And you--you've watched me giving birth. 136 00:04:09,993 --> 00:04:13,097 - Yeah, yeah, that's a video I never need to see again. 137 00:04:13,197 --> 00:04:14,820 ♪ ♪ 138 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,942 - Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. 139 00:04:17,042 --> 00:04:21,107 Had to perform a little semicolon-oscopy. 140 00:04:21,207 --> 00:04:22,549 Writer's joke, but I don't have to tell you guys. 141 00:04:22,649 --> 00:04:23,911 You get it. 142 00:04:24,011 --> 00:04:25,473 But, uh, today, you're gonna be reading 143 00:04:25,573 --> 00:04:26,554 your stories in front of the class. 144 00:04:26,654 --> 00:04:27,595 I hope everyone's ready. 145 00:04:27,695 --> 00:04:29,117 - Oh, I can't wait, Teach. 146 00:04:29,217 --> 00:04:30,599 [items clattering] - What's happening? 147 00:04:30,699 --> 00:04:32,641 - Greetings, my name is Marshall. 148 00:04:32,741 --> 00:04:34,203 Uh, last name not important. 149 00:04:34,303 --> 00:04:37,127 I'm a retired gentleman visiting this town, 150 00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,330 and I signed up to audit this class. 151 00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:41,012 - What? Why? What? 152 00:04:41,112 --> 00:04:44,536 - Well, I was recently inspired to pursue the writing arts, 153 00:04:44,636 --> 00:04:47,099 and I'm hoping to get the ole juices flowing. 154 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,381 - [laughing] Okay. 155 00:04:48,481 --> 00:04:50,583 Uh, can I see you in the hallway for a second, 156 00:04:50,683 --> 00:04:51,945 new student? 157 00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:53,667 What's happening? 158 00:04:53,767 --> 00:04:56,150 - Well, after you mentioned Mark Twain and Bradley Cooper, 159 00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,073 I dusted off "The Marshall Chronicles," 160 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,715 called the admissions office. 161 00:04:59,815 --> 00:05:01,156 Can you believe I'm gonna be in your class? 162 00:05:01,256 --> 00:05:03,559 - No, I can't believe it. 163 00:05:03,659 --> 00:05:06,443 Seems like a very... not good idea. 164 00:05:06,543 --> 00:05:08,205 - Oh. 165 00:05:08,305 --> 00:05:09,286 Yeah, I'm sorry, Tom. 166 00:05:09,386 --> 00:05:11,249 I...guess you're right. 167 00:05:11,349 --> 00:05:13,932 I'm just an old man with a dumb dream, and... 168 00:05:14,032 --> 00:05:16,375 I'm leaving. 169 00:05:16,475 --> 00:05:18,978 - Dad, come here. You can--you can stay, okay? 170 00:05:19,078 --> 00:05:20,180 It's just a couple days. 171 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,942 But fair warning, these kids can be harsh. 172 00:05:22,042 --> 00:05:23,664 - Oh, I can take it. 173 00:05:23,764 --> 00:05:25,907 Hey, and I'll call you Professor like everybody else. 174 00:05:26,007 --> 00:05:27,148 - Nobody does that. 175 00:05:27,248 --> 00:05:28,590 - Well, they should. 176 00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:29,591 I'll get it started. 177 00:05:29,691 --> 00:05:31,674 Great advice, Professor. 178 00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:33,997 - Finally settled on a theme for the party. 179 00:05:34,097 --> 00:05:37,801 Tom's Sssmokin' 40th. 180 00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:40,084 Got Guy Fieri's brisket and cigar restaurant 181 00:05:40,184 --> 00:05:41,886 to do the food, and for DJs, 182 00:05:41,986 --> 00:05:43,809 I got the Chainsmoker who actually does something. 183 00:05:43,909 --> 00:05:47,173 Alexa, remind me to call my walk-in vape closet guy. 184 00:05:47,273 --> 00:05:49,416 - When should I remind you? - Never. 185 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,218 - Okay. - Alexa, 186 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,260 remind me to tell Sarah she's a killjoy. 187 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,862 - When should I remind you? 188 00:05:54,962 --> 00:05:56,384 - How 'bout in 60 seconds? 189 00:05:56,484 --> 00:05:58,707 - Okay, I'll remind you in one minute. 190 00:05:58,807 --> 00:06:00,309 - What's your deal? It's gonna be a great party. 191 00:06:00,409 --> 00:06:02,632 - Yeah, a party that's not meant for Tom. 192 00:06:02,732 --> 00:06:03,833 - Why? 'Cause of the asthma thing? 193 00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:05,155 - Yeah. - Sarah, 194 00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:06,997 we both know that's just in his head. 195 00:06:07,097 --> 00:06:08,079 - No, it's not. 196 00:06:08,179 --> 00:06:09,641 Do you really think that? 197 00:06:09,741 --> 00:06:11,082 No, it's in his lungs. 198 00:06:11,182 --> 00:06:13,285 And he said no fuss, okay? 199 00:06:13,385 --> 00:06:15,448 You're gonna throw him a smoke-filled rager? 200 00:06:15,548 --> 00:06:17,690 - Okay, no smoke. Smoke's out. 201 00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:21,415 Alexa, take dry ice off my shopping list. 202 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,618 - I've checked off dry ice from your shopping list. 203 00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:25,660 - Compromises. - Great. 204 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,504 And I'm sure whatever you do next will be perfect. 205 00:06:28,604 --> 00:06:29,785 - Thank you. 206 00:06:29,885 --> 00:06:31,027 - Conner, here is your reminder. 207 00:06:31,127 --> 00:06:32,469 Tell Sarah she's a killjoy. 208 00:06:32,569 --> 00:06:33,710 - Oh. 209 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:34,912 - Alexa doesn't know 210 00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,014 we're in a different place now. 211 00:06:37,535 --> 00:06:38,917 - Ready. 212 00:06:39,017 --> 00:06:41,199 I put something on I bet Tom will love. 213 00:06:41,299 --> 00:06:43,082 - You got something hot under that robe? 214 00:06:43,182 --> 00:06:45,445 - No, I was talking about the robe. 215 00:06:45,545 --> 00:06:47,247 Terry cloth really gets him going. 216 00:06:47,347 --> 00:06:49,570 - Okay, Marina, this isn't just for Tom. 217 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,172 This is for you... - Right. 218 00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:52,533 - To own your sexuality, 219 00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:54,936 to feel your power. 220 00:06:55,036 --> 00:06:57,099 - Yes. Yeah. 221 00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,861 All right, let's do this. 222 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,864 - There she is. 223 00:07:00,964 --> 00:07:04,989 Okay, so for music, what sounds sexy to you? 224 00:07:05,089 --> 00:07:07,271 Some D'Angelo? Some TLC? 225 00:07:07,371 --> 00:07:09,955 - What about, uh, the "Grey's Anatomy" theme? 226 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,197 - Are you serious? - I know. 227 00:07:12,297 --> 00:07:14,000 - I've already got it up on my queue. 228 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,162 - Aw, stop! - [laughing] Yes. 229 00:07:16,262 --> 00:07:17,143 [Psapp's "Cosy In The Rocket" playing] 230 00:07:17,223 --> 00:07:18,125 [camera lens whirs] 231 00:07:18,225 --> 00:07:19,406 ♪ ♪ 232 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,688 Ooh, good. 233 00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:21,809 Wow, that is good. 234 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,331 Yeah, take those slippers off. 235 00:07:23,431 --> 00:07:25,374 You don't need them. You don't need no socks. 236 00:07:25,474 --> 00:07:27,416 Bite it. Your floors are squeaky-clean. 237 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:28,978 Who cares? 238 00:07:29,078 --> 00:07:30,460 Oh, my gosh, so ticklish. 239 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,902 It's so silly. 240 00:07:32,002 --> 00:07:32,903 She's having a great time. 241 00:07:33,003 --> 00:07:33,984 [gasps] Where'd she go? 242 00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:36,347 Hey, come back. Oh, there she is. 243 00:07:36,447 --> 00:07:37,388 Peekaboo. 244 00:07:37,488 --> 00:07:39,231 Who's this blonde lady? 245 00:07:39,331 --> 00:07:40,793 Where'd she come from? 246 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,555 Yes. 247 00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:44,357 Aye, aye, Captain. 248 00:07:44,457 --> 00:07:46,800 I want you 20,000 leagues under me. 249 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,802 I think we got it. - Wow. 250 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,965 Denise, you have a gift. - So do you. 251 00:07:51,065 --> 00:07:52,647 Look at that heinie. 252 00:07:52,747 --> 00:07:54,049 - [gasps] 253 00:07:54,149 --> 00:07:55,891 - Now all you have to do is print 'em out. 254 00:07:55,991 --> 00:07:58,254 - Wait a second. I think we can go further. 255 00:07:58,354 --> 00:07:59,335 Let me try something. 256 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,438 - Okay. 257 00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:04,902 Oh, you're not gonna-- [zipper scratches] 258 00:08:05,002 --> 00:08:06,104 You are gonna. 259 00:08:06,204 --> 00:08:07,666 Okay, yeah. 260 00:08:07,766 --> 00:08:09,308 ♪ ♪ 261 00:08:09,408 --> 00:08:12,151 - As Marshall Strongwood steered the fan boat 262 00:08:12,251 --> 00:08:15,475 through the swamp air, he brushed the velvet neck 263 00:08:15,575 --> 00:08:18,118 of the beautiful but mature crawdad fisherwoman, 264 00:08:18,218 --> 00:08:19,921 and he knew... 265 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,023 he was home. 266 00:08:23,385 --> 00:08:26,128 - Okay, thank you for that, Marshall. 267 00:08:26,228 --> 00:08:29,092 - Professor, I named the main character after myself. 268 00:08:29,192 --> 00:08:30,173 - Yeah, no. No, I got that. 269 00:08:30,273 --> 00:08:32,096 So, uh, before I open up the floor 270 00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:34,338 for feedback, just like to remind everyone 271 00:08:34,438 --> 00:08:36,621 to keep the criticism constructive, okay? 272 00:08:36,721 --> 00:08:39,385 - I'll go first. 273 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:40,626 Chills. 274 00:08:40,726 --> 00:08:43,269 [applause] Chills. 275 00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:45,472 - Oh, okay, uh, we're all fans 276 00:08:45,572 --> 00:08:49,357 of "The Marshall Chronicles: Bayou Heat"? 277 00:08:49,457 --> 00:08:51,800 - Loved it, and I have a button on my bag 278 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:52,921 that says "Abolish the police." 279 00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:54,523 - I never thought hearing about 280 00:08:54,623 --> 00:08:58,007 someone Rob Lowe's age having sex would be hot. 281 00:08:58,107 --> 00:08:59,489 But it was. 282 00:08:59,589 --> 00:09:01,532 [applause] 283 00:09:01,632 --> 00:09:02,733 - Wow. - Okay, we don't have 284 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,335 to applaud for every-- 285 00:09:04,435 --> 00:09:06,057 guys, we just don't have to applaud for every student. 286 00:09:06,157 --> 00:09:07,579 Okay, who's up next? 287 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:09,301 - I asked, "What vegan cheeses do you have?" 288 00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:11,224 And she said, "Cashew," and I said, "Bless you." 289 00:09:11,324 --> 00:09:14,067 [laughter] And she laughed so hard. 290 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:15,389 - Sarah, I'm dead. 291 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,231 Like, you guys are so great. 292 00:09:17,331 --> 00:09:19,073 - You're so great. 293 00:09:19,173 --> 00:09:21,316 You know, when Denise said, "Oh, I found this guy 294 00:09:21,416 --> 00:09:22,958 at the park who likes to give away his sperm," 295 00:09:23,058 --> 00:09:24,920 I was concerned, but yay. 296 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:27,243 - Well, I'm so glad. 297 00:09:27,343 --> 00:09:29,606 Obviously, I have a few questions before we move ahead. 298 00:09:29,706 --> 00:09:30,607 - Okay, sure. 299 00:09:30,707 --> 00:09:32,129 - Just basics, like background, 300 00:09:32,229 --> 00:09:34,412 lifestyle, extracurriculars. 301 00:09:34,512 --> 00:09:36,014 - Extracurriculars? - Yeah, yeah. 302 00:09:36,114 --> 00:09:37,055 I have to know what kind of life 303 00:09:37,155 --> 00:09:38,617 I'd be helping to create. 304 00:09:38,717 --> 00:09:41,501 Well, can't just run around making kids with whomever, 305 00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:42,943 right? - Oh, right. 306 00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:44,465 Of course. I get that. 307 00:09:44,565 --> 00:09:46,507 - The last couple I donated to were opera singers, 308 00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:47,789 which was great for me. 309 00:09:47,889 --> 00:09:50,071 I'm a huge Puccini freak. 310 00:09:50,171 --> 00:09:51,593 - Oh. - So are we. 311 00:09:51,693 --> 00:09:53,916 We have season tickets. 312 00:09:54,016 --> 00:09:55,959 Yeah, Puccini, Rossini. 313 00:09:56,059 --> 00:09:58,682 All the "inis" all the time over here. 314 00:09:58,782 --> 00:10:00,484 - All the time. 315 00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:03,528 - Thank you for letting me use your fancy printer. 316 00:10:03,628 --> 00:10:05,330 - No prob. - I've got this, uh-- 317 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,293 this important work presentation. 318 00:10:07,393 --> 00:10:08,694 - Sounds good. Hey, can I run something by you 319 00:10:08,794 --> 00:10:10,496 for Tom's birthday party? 320 00:10:10,596 --> 00:10:12,179 - Oh, yeah. 321 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,982 - Okay, so, um, I know a guy who knows a guy 322 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,584 who knows will.i.am. 323 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,745 - Nope. - Okay. 324 00:10:17,845 --> 00:10:19,848 Cool. Great feedback, thank you. 325 00:10:21,810 --> 00:10:25,595 [printer whirring] 326 00:10:25,695 --> 00:10:27,697 - Oh, you're bad. 327 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:32,724 "The Alabaster Killer's trail had gone cold 328 00:10:32,824 --> 00:10:34,486 as day-old gumbo"? 329 00:10:34,586 --> 00:10:35,647 - Hey-o. 330 00:10:35,747 --> 00:10:36,849 - Oh, my God. 331 00:10:36,949 --> 00:10:38,611 Marshall. - [laughs] 332 00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:40,453 Sounds like you got a chunk of the next chapteroo 333 00:10:40,553 --> 00:10:41,935 I'm taking to Tom's class. 334 00:10:42,035 --> 00:10:43,537 - I will put your page right there. 335 00:10:43,637 --> 00:10:46,561 - Okay, thank you. - Yes, thank you. 336 00:10:48,403 --> 00:10:50,225 - You want to know what languages we speak. 337 00:10:50,325 --> 00:10:51,667 Well, uh, that makes total sense. 338 00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,790 Basically English. 339 00:10:53,890 --> 00:10:55,712 - And Korean. - No way. 340 00:10:55,812 --> 00:10:57,714 My boyfriend was born in Busan. 341 00:10:57,814 --> 00:10:59,116 - Was he? [laughs] - Oh. 342 00:10:59,216 --> 00:11:00,398 - Well, tell him I said... 343 00:11:00,498 --> 00:11:02,721 [speaking Korean] 344 00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:06,205 - Nice, I will tell him to put on his dancing shoes. 345 00:11:06,305 --> 00:11:07,607 Pretty good. Being multilingual 346 00:11:07,707 --> 00:11:09,369 is a huge plus for me. 347 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,291 Uh, do you guys travel? - Well, last summer, 348 00:11:11,391 --> 00:11:13,013 the kids dragged us to Six Flags. 349 00:11:13,113 --> 00:11:14,375 - Flaags, yeah. 350 00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:16,498 Flaags being the, uh, rating system 351 00:11:16,598 --> 00:11:19,341 for Finnish ski hotels, so a six-flaag hotel 352 00:11:19,441 --> 00:11:21,504 would be a really good one. - Yep. 353 00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:23,586 - Wow, you guys are so worldly. 354 00:11:23,686 --> 00:11:24,908 I--well, um, I need... - Yes. 355 00:11:25,008 --> 00:11:26,630 - To go use the, uh... [speaking Korean] 356 00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:28,592 Which, of course, Denise knows is the... 357 00:11:28,692 --> 00:11:29,714 - Butcher shop. - Bathroom. 358 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,835 - Bathroom. - But when I get back, 359 00:11:30,935 --> 00:11:32,037 we have to talk skiing. 360 00:11:32,137 --> 00:11:33,278 - Have to. - Of course. 361 00:11:33,378 --> 00:11:34,520 - Of course. - The guest bath 362 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:35,681 is down the hall to the left. 363 00:11:35,781 --> 00:11:36,682 - Oh, awesome. 364 00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:38,525 BRB. [laughter] 365 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:41,408 - [laughs] 366 00:11:41,508 --> 00:11:43,931 Guest bath? That is our only bath. 367 00:11:44,031 --> 00:11:45,573 Why are you lying, and how do you know Korean? 368 00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:47,335 - It's from a K-pop song Shamiah loves. 369 00:11:47,435 --> 00:11:48,697 I'm sorry, I panicked. 370 00:11:48,797 --> 00:11:50,740 I just wanted to impress him, but I'll stop. 371 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,822 - Yeah. - Wow, I love your hand towels. 372 00:11:52,922 --> 00:11:54,464 - They were a gift from the governor. 373 00:11:54,564 --> 00:11:56,567 I'm sorry. 374 00:11:57,568 --> 00:11:59,591 - Don't let this ruin your birthday. 375 00:11:59,691 --> 00:12:02,594 Your dad is only sitting in for a week, and besides, 376 00:12:02,694 --> 00:12:05,438 college kids don't know anything about good writing. 377 00:12:05,538 --> 00:12:06,559 - You're right. That's why I'm gonna read 378 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:07,721 some of my novel today. 379 00:12:07,821 --> 00:12:09,403 Show 'em what good writing really is. 380 00:12:09,503 --> 00:12:10,724 - There you go. 381 00:12:10,824 --> 00:12:12,807 And remember, the most important thing is-- 382 00:12:12,907 --> 00:12:14,569 [phone buzzing] Ooh, Denise is calling. 383 00:12:14,669 --> 00:12:16,051 Call you back. - Wait, what--what-- 384 00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:17,773 what were you gonna say? - So how'd they turn out? 385 00:12:17,873 --> 00:12:18,734 - They're so good. 386 00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:20,376 I am so hot. 387 00:12:20,476 --> 00:12:21,978 I'm not sure about the Yoda ears, though. 388 00:12:22,078 --> 00:12:24,381 - Go crazy your husband will. 389 00:12:24,481 --> 00:12:26,984 - Oh, wait a second. 390 00:12:27,084 --> 00:12:30,589 Um, I'm missing one of the pictures. 391 00:12:30,689 --> 00:12:33,672 - Which one? - Um, the one. 392 00:12:33,772 --> 00:12:36,356 - [gasps] The Full Marina? 393 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,238 - I... 394 00:12:38,338 --> 00:12:39,920 I must've left it in Connor's office 395 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,924 when I ran out because, um-- 396 00:12:43,024 --> 00:12:44,526 'cause Marshall was there. 397 00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:47,089 He was printing out a chapter to read in Tom's class. 398 00:12:47,189 --> 00:12:48,931 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 399 00:12:49,031 --> 00:12:51,034 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God! 400 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,818 - "As they danced to the steel drum music, 401 00:12:54,918 --> 00:12:56,460 "Tim realized they had pulled it off 402 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,142 "by upholding the most important tradition 403 00:12:58,242 --> 00:12:59,744 "of all: Turning Thanksgiving 404 00:12:59,844 --> 00:13:01,847 into their special day of fighting." 405 00:13:02,768 --> 00:13:06,032 That's from an upcoming novel by a contemporary of mine. 406 00:13:06,132 --> 00:13:08,515 Might not have a 70-year-old judo expert 407 00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:11,359 punching alligators, but hopefully you guys found it 408 00:13:11,459 --> 00:13:13,521 a little more...I don't know, literary. 409 00:13:13,621 --> 00:13:14,963 [laughs] Thoughts? 410 00:13:15,063 --> 00:13:17,727 - Yeah, I just didn't relate to any of the characters. 411 00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:18,888 - Huh, okay. 412 00:13:18,988 --> 00:13:20,049 Uh, any--any of them? 413 00:13:20,149 --> 00:13:22,132 - I guess Colin's okay, 414 00:13:22,232 --> 00:13:24,455 but is he supposed to be, like, a suave tech guy 415 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:25,736 or a huge doofus? 416 00:13:25,836 --> 00:13:27,058 I honestly can't tell. 417 00:13:27,158 --> 00:13:28,460 - And that sister, I mean, is that 418 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:29,982 how the author thinks feminists talk? 419 00:13:30,082 --> 00:13:31,223 - No, I know the author. 420 00:13:31,323 --> 00:13:32,465 He's a feminist. He's an ally. 421 00:13:32,565 --> 00:13:34,707 But Tara can just be so Tara. 422 00:13:34,807 --> 00:13:35,869 Trust me, she's a lot. 423 00:13:35,969 --> 00:13:37,230 - She's the worst. 424 00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:38,592 - No way. 425 00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:39,754 Hands down, it's Tim. 426 00:13:39,854 --> 00:13:41,636 - Oh, well. 427 00:13:41,736 --> 00:13:42,958 What's wrong with Tom--with Tim? 428 00:13:43,058 --> 00:13:44,920 What's wrong with Tim? - Where do I even start? 429 00:13:45,020 --> 00:13:47,083 I mean, like, he's out of touch. 430 00:13:47,183 --> 00:13:48,564 - Uh-huh. - Unlikable. 431 00:13:48,664 --> 00:13:49,646 - Uh-huh. - And I'm sorry, 432 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,368 but I just don't buy that a grown man 433 00:13:51,468 --> 00:13:53,050 can't get the lid off a jar of salsa. 434 00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:55,253 - He can. I mean...[laughs] 435 00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:56,694 He can, it's just, his wife knows the trick 436 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,256 to do it faster. - Well, Professor, 437 00:13:58,356 --> 00:14:01,220 I found Marvin, the dad character, 438 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:02,702 to be pretty groovy. 439 00:14:02,802 --> 00:14:04,023 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. He was great. 440 00:14:04,123 --> 00:14:05,025 - You should tell your friend 441 00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:06,106 to write a book about him instead. 442 00:14:06,206 --> 00:14:07,428 - Well, I can't. He's dead. 443 00:14:07,528 --> 00:14:08,869 So moving on, uh, have you guys had a chance 444 00:14:08,969 --> 00:14:10,231 to read "The Bell Jar"? 445 00:14:10,331 --> 00:14:12,274 No? No one. Okay, fantastic. 446 00:14:12,374 --> 00:14:14,116 [inhales sharply, groans heavily] 447 00:14:14,216 --> 00:14:15,798 - This time, I got it. 448 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,079 Who's Tom's favorite author? 449 00:14:17,179 --> 00:14:18,361 - Kurt Vonnegut. - What? 450 00:14:18,461 --> 00:14:20,243 Thought it was Dean Koontz. 451 00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:21,925 Great, now I gotta cancel his flight. 452 00:14:22,025 --> 00:14:24,368 - Are you sure that you don't need help with this party? 453 00:14:24,468 --> 00:14:26,531 Because we are kinda down to the wire here. 454 00:14:26,631 --> 00:14:28,413 - No, I'm the one who ruined 455 00:14:28,513 --> 00:14:30,576 his big birthday at Showbuzz PizzaTown. 456 00:14:30,676 --> 00:14:31,818 It's gotta be me. 457 00:14:31,918 --> 00:14:33,460 - Con, that was, like, three decades ago. 458 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,423 It's time to put PizzaTown behind us. 459 00:14:36,523 --> 00:14:37,705 - You're right. 460 00:14:37,805 --> 00:14:39,347 That's the only way. 461 00:14:39,447 --> 00:14:42,030 I gotta go. - Oh, all right. 462 00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:44,153 - Lulu, Simon just texted. 463 00:14:44,253 --> 00:14:45,955 We impressed him, and he's in. 464 00:14:46,055 --> 00:14:47,397 - Oh, that's great. 465 00:14:47,497 --> 00:14:50,921 But, um, wasn't he impressed by fake us? 466 00:14:51,021 --> 00:14:52,483 - I don't think we were fake. 467 00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:53,724 - You invited him to our Napa cottage, 468 00:14:53,824 --> 00:14:55,246 which does not exist. 469 00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:58,370 - So I let a few stories get out of hand. 470 00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:00,172 - Mm. - But he's the perfect donor. 471 00:15:00,272 --> 00:15:01,174 I didn't want to lose him. 472 00:15:01,274 --> 00:15:02,896 - Yeah, no. Me neither. 473 00:15:02,996 --> 00:15:04,698 But if we have to lie about who we are to make this work, 474 00:15:04,798 --> 00:15:07,081 then is he really perfect for us? 475 00:15:08,803 --> 00:15:09,984 - I guess not. 476 00:15:10,084 --> 00:15:11,827 You really believed you're an Olympic fencer. 477 00:15:11,927 --> 00:15:13,469 - Hey, Tom? Tommy? 478 00:15:13,569 --> 00:15:15,671 I thought what you read was dynamite. 479 00:15:15,771 --> 00:15:18,515 And that character of Tim, that guy's the real deal. 480 00:15:18,615 --> 00:15:20,077 - Well, I think you're in the minority, Dad. 481 00:15:20,177 --> 00:15:22,159 But thank you. I gotta get going. 482 00:15:22,259 --> 00:15:23,681 - Oh--oh-- 483 00:15:23,781 --> 00:15:24,843 Love ya. 484 00:15:24,943 --> 00:15:26,945 Aw, shoot. 485 00:15:27,746 --> 00:15:29,689 - Oh, no. Am I too late? Is Tom gone? 486 00:15:29,789 --> 00:15:31,090 - You just missed him. - Oh. 487 00:15:31,190 --> 00:15:32,812 - He's very upset, Marina. 488 00:15:32,912 --> 00:15:34,414 - Oh, no. This is a nightmare. 489 00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:36,297 - The class was not ready for that. 490 00:15:36,397 --> 00:15:37,979 - Ah. - Art is subjective, 491 00:15:38,079 --> 00:15:40,862 but those kids were so mean. 492 00:15:40,962 --> 00:15:42,865 - Mean? You mean they didn't like it? 493 00:15:42,965 --> 00:15:45,588 - I'm surprised, too, 'cause it was right up my alley. 494 00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:47,230 - Ah! - I said to Tom, 495 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:49,353 "Look, Tommy, buddy, this is great. 496 00:15:49,453 --> 00:15:50,795 You got something so special here." 497 00:15:50,895 --> 00:15:52,236 - No! No, stop. 498 00:15:52,336 --> 00:15:53,678 - Yeah. - Can I, uh, 499 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,400 just have my photo back, please? 500 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,002 - Photo? - You know. 501 00:15:57,102 --> 00:15:58,444 The Full Marina. 502 00:15:58,544 --> 00:16:00,046 - [laughing] What? 503 00:16:00,146 --> 00:16:01,568 - Oh, oh. Did--did you not-- 504 00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:03,250 did you not read your chapter to the class? 505 00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:06,093 - Uh, no, because after Tom read some of his book, 506 00:16:06,193 --> 00:16:08,376 I didn't think it was a good idea. 507 00:16:08,476 --> 00:16:10,479 [laughing] What? 508 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:12,982 - It's not here. - What's not here? 509 00:16:13,082 --> 00:16:14,624 - Nothing, just I am so glad 510 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,187 that there is nothing inappropriate in that. 511 00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:18,989 - Au contraire, I think you'll find 512 00:16:19,089 --> 00:16:21,632 that Detective Strongwood's lovemaking 513 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:23,915 with the lady police chief is pretty graphic. 514 00:16:24,015 --> 00:16:25,798 Page 11 to 26. 515 00:16:25,898 --> 00:16:27,520 No? - I gotta go. 516 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,602 - Uh, thank you so much for meeting with us. 517 00:16:29,702 --> 00:16:31,925 - Oh, well, thanks for the Peanut Butter Blast. 518 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,168 Although you didn't have to peanut butter me up. 519 00:16:34,268 --> 00:16:35,530 I already said I'd be your donor. 520 00:16:35,630 --> 00:16:39,094 - Well, we wanted to clear something up first. 521 00:16:39,194 --> 00:16:41,096 When you asked us about our extracurriculars, 522 00:16:41,196 --> 00:16:43,700 we may have extra-exaggerated. 523 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,141 - Lied. We lied. 524 00:16:45,241 --> 00:16:46,743 - Oh. - We just were nervous 525 00:16:46,843 --> 00:16:48,826 that we weren't gonna measure up to your sperm standards. 526 00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:49,947 We've never been to the Alps. 527 00:16:50,047 --> 00:16:51,189 - Yeah, we don't own property. 528 00:16:51,289 --> 00:16:53,592 We don't even have two bathrooms. 529 00:16:53,692 --> 00:16:55,114 If you're noticing a theme here, 530 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,475 it's because those things require money, 531 00:16:56,575 --> 00:16:57,737 which we don't have much of; that's kind of how 532 00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,819 we got here in the first place. 533 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,523 - Wow. Uh, okay. - Yeah. 534 00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:04,865 - Uh, well, but thanks for coming clean. 535 00:17:05,747 --> 00:17:08,770 But it doesn't matter to me if you have money or not. 536 00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:10,412 I mean, all that matters is, 537 00:17:10,512 --> 00:17:12,134 you care about being good parents. 538 00:17:12,234 --> 00:17:13,777 - Really? - Yeah. 539 00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:15,138 So the offer stands. 540 00:17:15,238 --> 00:17:17,902 - [laughs] Simon. 541 00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:19,584 That is such a relief. - Yeah. 542 00:17:19,684 --> 00:17:21,506 Now we don't have to keep lying to you about everything. 543 00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:22,868 [laughter] - Exactly. 544 00:17:22,968 --> 00:17:23,989 Wait, who are you, NASA? 545 00:17:24,089 --> 00:17:25,311 - Ooh. [laughter] 546 00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,632 Yeah, oh, oh. 547 00:17:26,732 --> 00:17:28,475 Wait, what? 548 00:17:28,575 --> 00:17:30,637 - Come on, you don't actually believe we went to the moon. 549 00:17:30,737 --> 00:17:32,279 [laughter] 550 00:17:32,379 --> 00:17:33,921 - You're still laughing, so it's unclear 551 00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:35,243 if you're being serious or not. 552 00:17:35,343 --> 00:17:38,086 - Uh, I'm as serious as the Earth is flat. 553 00:17:38,186 --> 00:17:40,249 Humans can't survive in space. 554 00:17:40,349 --> 00:17:42,351 I've done my own research. 555 00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:45,095 - You know, we have to go. 556 00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:46,096 - Our Napa cottage is on fire. - Yeah. 557 00:17:46,196 --> 00:17:47,097 - Whoops. [laughter] 558 00:17:47,197 --> 00:17:48,139 That's crazy. 559 00:17:48,239 --> 00:17:50,922 We just got an alert, so bye. 560 00:17:51,963 --> 00:17:54,627 - That was exactly 561 00:17:54,727 --> 00:17:57,270 the low-key double-cheese chicken-Parm birthday 562 00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:58,632 that I wanted. Thank you so much. 563 00:17:58,732 --> 00:17:59,913 Let's get the kids from Lupe. - Wait, wait. 564 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:01,635 First I--I have a gift. 565 00:18:01,735 --> 00:18:02,837 - [sighs] 566 00:18:02,937 --> 00:18:04,999 - I'm sorry you had a tough week. 567 00:18:05,099 --> 00:18:08,043 Maybe this will cheer you up. 568 00:18:08,143 --> 00:18:09,645 - Come on, I thought we said n-- 569 00:18:09,745 --> 00:18:10,847 oh, my God. 570 00:18:10,947 --> 00:18:12,048 Oh, my God. 571 00:18:12,148 --> 00:18:14,091 - Yeah. 572 00:18:14,191 --> 00:18:15,773 - Oh, my God, is this you? 573 00:18:15,873 --> 00:18:17,695 I mean--I mean, I know this is you, but... 574 00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:19,818 - I know, I was surprised too. 575 00:18:19,918 --> 00:18:21,920 Do you like it? 576 00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,384 Tom? - What? No. 577 00:18:25,484 --> 00:18:27,147 Yeah, oh, my God. No, I love it. 578 00:18:27,247 --> 00:18:29,029 I love it. Oh, and the robe that I like. 579 00:18:29,129 --> 00:18:32,033 Oh, Marina, this is the most incredible gift 580 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,915 that I've ever received. 581 00:18:34,015 --> 00:18:35,156 - Oh, well, there's more. 582 00:18:35,256 --> 00:18:37,159 - More than this? - Last night 583 00:18:37,259 --> 00:18:38,921 after you went to bed, 584 00:18:39,021 --> 00:18:41,544 I stayed up reading your book. 585 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,568 - Oh. - Honey, it's the best thing 586 00:18:44,668 --> 00:18:45,890 you've ever written. 587 00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:48,453 [soft music] 588 00:18:48,553 --> 00:18:50,575 - You don't have to say that. - No, it's true. 589 00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:52,217 You know I didn't like "Jeremiah's Plan." 590 00:18:52,317 --> 00:18:53,819 - Yeah, you have said that a lot. 591 00:18:53,919 --> 00:18:54,821 - Yeah. No, this new one, 592 00:18:54,921 --> 00:18:56,383 it's--it's honest. 593 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,824 It's funny. 594 00:18:57,924 --> 00:18:59,987 It's relatable. It's-- 595 00:19:00,087 --> 00:19:02,470 Who cares what these college kids thought? 596 00:19:02,570 --> 00:19:03,912 The book is incredible. 597 00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:07,716 ♪ ♪ 598 00:19:07,816 --> 00:19:12,282 - Well, not as incredible as these photos. 599 00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:13,924 Oh, my God, the pirate one. Okay. 600 00:19:14,024 --> 00:19:15,045 - Yeah. - Let's get those kids 601 00:19:15,145 --> 00:19:17,008 and get you home right now. 602 00:19:17,108 --> 00:19:18,810 - Well... - What? 603 00:19:18,910 --> 00:19:20,732 all: Surprise! 604 00:19:20,832 --> 00:19:22,655 - Oh, my God. 605 00:19:22,755 --> 00:19:24,777 - It's the party of your childhood dreams. 606 00:19:24,877 --> 00:19:27,861 Welcome to Showbuzz PizzaTown. 607 00:19:27,961 --> 00:19:29,864 - This is unbelievab-- 608 00:19:29,964 --> 00:19:31,706 Is that the real thing? 609 00:19:31,806 --> 00:19:35,270 - Yep, it's an original Burt Silverbackarach. 610 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:37,713 Poor guy's been sitting in a warehouse for 20 years, 611 00:19:37,813 --> 00:19:39,876 but I think he's still got the Showbuzz magic. 612 00:19:39,976 --> 00:19:41,838 - Gorillas should not wear people clothes. 613 00:19:41,938 --> 00:19:43,240 - Connor worked really hard on this. 614 00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:44,642 - All by himself. 615 00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:46,124 - Happy birthday, Tom. 616 00:19:46,224 --> 00:19:48,406 - Oh, my God. - [laughs] 617 00:19:48,506 --> 00:19:49,688 - Yeah, we had nothing to do with this. 618 00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:52,051 - He can play all the hits from 1993. 619 00:19:52,151 --> 00:19:53,693 And that's about it, so I hope you're cool with that. 620 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,295 - I'm more than cool with it. 621 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,698 Thank you, brother. 622 00:19:57,798 --> 00:19:59,220 [remote beeps] - ♪ Informer ♪ 623 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,662 - Oh. - ♪ Ya no say daddy me ♪ 624 00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:01,482 ♪ Snow me I go blame ♪ - Oh, oh, yeah. 625 00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:03,265 [people cheering] 626 00:20:03,365 --> 00:20:04,907 - Ready, ready? - Go, Burt. 627 00:20:05,007 --> 00:20:06,709 It's my birthday. 628 00:20:06,809 --> 00:20:08,231 It's my birthday. - ♪ A licky boom boom down ♪ 629 00:20:08,331 --> 00:20:09,913 - ♪ Hey, yo, sweetie ♪ 630 00:20:10,013 --> 00:20:11,395 - Oh. 631 00:20:11,495 --> 00:20:12,636 - You're bad. You're bad. - So close. 632 00:20:12,736 --> 00:20:13,958 - You're not close. It wasn't close. 633 00:20:14,058 --> 00:20:15,760 - ♪ Tryin' to hold my own ground ♪ 634 00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:18,003 - ♪ Yeah, I think I like how that sound ♪ 635 00:20:18,103 --> 00:20:19,965 ♪ What you say we gets to know each other better? ♪ 636 00:20:20,065 --> 00:20:21,647 - ♪ That's sounds good, but I don't think ♪ 637 00:20:21,747 --> 00:20:23,129 ♪ That I can let ya ♪ - ♪ I don't know ♪ 638 00:20:23,229 --> 00:20:24,891 ♪ Tell me is it so? ♪ - Here we go. 639 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,854 - ♪ Do you get a kick out of tellin' brothers no? ♪ 640 00:20:26,954 --> 00:20:28,696 - ♪ No, it's not that, see, you don't understand ♪ 641 00:20:28,796 --> 00:20:30,538 [electricity crackling] ♪ I got a--got a--got a man ♪ 642 00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:33,181 - [screams] - ♪ Boom boom down ♪ 643 00:20:33,281 --> 00:20:35,024 - Daddy? [mechanical whirring] 644 00:20:35,124 --> 00:20:36,065 - Don't look in his eyes. 645 00:20:36,165 --> 00:20:37,707 Just don't look into his eyes. 646 00:20:37,807 --> 00:20:40,070 - They said it rarely does this. 647 00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:42,393 That's a lot of smoke. Go, go, go, go. 648 00:20:42,493 --> 00:20:44,075 Go, go, go. Get down, get down. 649 00:20:44,175 --> 00:20:45,517 Get down! - This is what happens 650 00:20:45,617 --> 00:20:47,619 when you play God. 651 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,563 [electricity crackling] - Oh, well. 652 00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:53,927 Gonna be tough to part ways with my boy Burt here, 653 00:20:54,027 --> 00:20:55,809 but he's my gift to you. 654 00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:57,972 - Oh, no. He belongs here. 655 00:20:58,072 --> 00:20:59,734 You're his family. - No, Tom. 656 00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:00,936 I insist. 657 00:21:01,036 --> 00:21:02,578 - No, he won't fit in my car. 658 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,820 Also, he's... 659 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,142 terrifying. [mechanical whirring] 660 00:21:06,242 --> 00:21:08,244 Oh. - Ooh. [laughs] 661 00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:11,789 - Doesn't seem right. - That's all you, bud. 662 00:21:11,889 --> 00:21:14,232 - I found that birthday card you left here. 663 00:21:14,332 --> 00:21:17,476 For Tom? It got stuck in the printer. 664 00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:19,478 - Oh, the birthday card for Tom. 665 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:20,960 - Mm-hmm. - Yes. 666 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:22,162 Thank you, Lupe. Thank you. 667 00:21:22,262 --> 00:21:24,164 - Ooh, cool, we signing a card for Tom? 668 00:21:24,264 --> 00:21:26,267 Right on, man. - No, no, no! [screams]