1 00:00:02,297 --> 00:00:04,439 - Can I just say, Amanda, you are the best agent 2 00:00:04,539 --> 00:00:05,680 that a writer could ask for. 3 00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:06,841 [chuckles] 4 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:09,524 Okay, I love you. I--or--goodbye. 5 00:00:09,624 --> 00:00:11,726 Thank you--I'm saying-- I'm hanging up now. Bye. 6 00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:12,967 Honey! - Ya-ta-ta-ta-ta. 7 00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:14,409 The twins just fell asleep. 8 00:00:14,509 --> 00:00:16,331 - I'm sorry. I can't help it. I'm too excited. 9 00:00:16,431 --> 00:00:17,812 I just got off the phone about the offers on my book. 10 00:00:17,912 --> 00:00:19,934 - "Offers," plural? - I know! I know. 11 00:00:20,034 --> 00:00:21,215 [whispering] I'm sorry. I know. 12 00:00:21,315 --> 00:00:22,697 Regina Choi of Choi Books wants to publish me. 13 00:00:22,797 --> 00:00:24,299 - Regina Choi? - Yeah. 14 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,301 She publishes Zadie Smith, Jeffrey Eugenides. 15 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:27,902 - Oh, wow, all the authors you're jealous of. 16 00:00:28,002 --> 00:00:29,143 You must be thrilled. 17 00:00:29,243 --> 00:00:30,465 - I was, 18 00:00:30,565 --> 00:00:32,347 until I heard the money she was offering. 19 00:00:32,447 --> 00:00:33,348 Now she's dead to me. 20 00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:36,631 But--drumroll please. 21 00:00:36,731 --> 00:00:38,232 - Oh, you actually want me to do it? 22 00:00:38,332 --> 00:00:40,334 - Do you mind? 23 00:00:41,055 --> 00:00:42,477 The second offer is from Wide River, 24 00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:44,038 the biggest publishing house around! 25 00:00:44,138 --> 00:00:45,800 - No, are you actually gonna make some money? 26 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:47,882 - I know. I'm as shocked as you are. 27 00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:50,044 Apparently, they want my book to launch a whole new imprint. 28 00:00:50,144 --> 00:00:51,886 - Oh, my God, I'm leaving my body. 29 00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:52,847 - The publisher, Monroe Davies, 30 00:00:52,947 --> 00:00:54,929 he's a legend in the book world. 31 00:00:55,029 --> 00:00:56,430 He wants to have dinner with me and Amanda tomorrow night. 32 00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:57,692 - Oh, you better order everything 33 00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:58,773 and take pictures. 34 00:00:58,873 --> 00:00:59,854 - It's crazy, right? 35 00:00:59,954 --> 00:01:01,055 I mean, by this time next year, 36 00:01:01,155 --> 00:01:02,537 we could walk into a bookstore 37 00:01:02,637 --> 00:01:03,858 and see "Home Economics" 38 00:01:03,958 --> 00:01:05,419 sitting right there on the shelf. 39 00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:07,582 And then I could pick it up and pretend to read it 40 00:01:07,682 --> 00:01:09,704 in front of customers and say things like, 41 00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:10,785 "That Tom Hayworth. [chuckles] 42 00:01:10,885 --> 00:01:12,226 He did it again." 43 00:01:12,326 --> 00:01:13,868 - That's not something you actually do, is it? 44 00:01:13,968 --> 00:01:15,990 - No, no. But I'm selling the book! 45 00:01:16,090 --> 00:01:17,471 - You're selling the book. - I'm selling the book! 46 00:01:17,571 --> 00:01:18,913 Do you know what this means? 47 00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:20,555 - We can afford daycare. We can finally fix the roof. 48 00:01:20,655 --> 00:01:22,356 - No more ghostwriting for pathological liars. 49 00:01:22,456 --> 00:01:23,798 - No more endless moping around the house 50 00:01:23,898 --> 00:01:24,959 talking about your process. - I know. 51 00:01:25,059 --> 00:01:26,480 I'm the worst. But I'm selling the book! 52 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,002 - You're selling the book! 53 00:01:28,102 --> 00:01:31,085 [babies wailing] 54 00:01:31,185 --> 00:01:32,927 You know what? I don't even care. 55 00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:35,650 - Should we go tell 'em? - Oh! 56 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:36,731 - Hey, guys, guess what! 57 00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:38,292 both: We're selling the book! 58 00:01:38,392 --> 00:01:39,654 [baby screaming] 59 00:01:39,754 --> 00:01:42,076 - ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 60 00:01:43,798 --> 00:01:45,219 - Want some coconut water? 61 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,662 I know for a fact you need some electrolytes. 62 00:01:47,762 --> 00:01:49,183 - Dude, that was me at a four. 63 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,624 My electrolytes are fine. 64 00:01:50,724 --> 00:01:52,026 - You know, I'm not gonna lie, 65 00:01:52,126 --> 00:01:53,047 I kind of like you staying over here. 66 00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:54,709 - Because we do it in the morning? 67 00:01:54,809 --> 00:01:57,031 - Yes, and also because when Gretchen's at her mum's house, 68 00:01:57,131 --> 00:01:59,794 this place gets, like, eerily quiet. 69 00:01:59,894 --> 00:02:01,035 They don't tell you about that 70 00:02:01,135 --> 00:02:02,236 when you're buying your divorce mansion. 71 00:02:02,336 --> 00:02:03,597 - You're really opening my eyes 72 00:02:03,697 --> 00:02:05,159 to the struggles of the millionaire class. 73 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,720 - See? It's not just sex. 74 00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:08,442 You're learning about another culture here. 75 00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:10,124 - Except it is just sex. 76 00:02:10,224 --> 00:02:11,926 - Yeah. - And it's so much better 77 00:02:12,026 --> 00:02:13,247 than a real relationship. - Yeah. 78 00:02:13,347 --> 00:02:15,649 - I mean, no needs to attend to, 79 00:02:15,749 --> 00:02:17,531 no feelings to protect. 80 00:02:17,631 --> 00:02:19,653 - No important talks. 81 00:02:19,753 --> 00:02:22,216 I think this is the longest conversation we've ever had. 82 00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,858 Should we shut up and get back to bed? 83 00:02:23,958 --> 00:02:26,500 - I would, but I'm starving. 84 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,222 Do rich people not have food? 85 00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,584 This is, like, all garnish. 86 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,026 - Why don't you stay for brunch? 87 00:02:32,126 --> 00:02:34,028 - Oh, I don't know. Your sister will be there, 88 00:02:34,128 --> 00:02:36,070 and she's been super awkward at work 89 00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:38,752 ever since I told her we were having nightly PTA meetings. 90 00:02:38,852 --> 00:02:40,594 - Ah. - The P stands for-- 91 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,437 - No, I know what the P stands for. 92 00:02:43,537 --> 00:02:45,159 We're not doing anything wrong, though. 93 00:02:45,259 --> 00:02:46,800 You should stay. We're adults. 94 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,282 - All right. 95 00:02:48,382 --> 00:02:51,445 I could house a pan of cinnamon rolls. 96 00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,927 - Because you burned all that energy. 97 00:02:54,027 --> 00:02:56,010 - So, again, that was me at a four. 98 00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:58,372 - Mm-hmm. - 4.2 max. 99 00:02:58,472 --> 00:02:59,853 - Me too. 100 00:02:59,953 --> 00:03:02,336 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 101 00:03:02,436 --> 00:03:03,737 - That's really good news. 102 00:03:03,837 --> 00:03:06,260 [upbeat music] 103 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,362 [cork pops] 104 00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:11,145 - Congrats on the book, Tom. 105 00:03:11,245 --> 00:03:12,306 I always knew you could do it. 106 00:03:12,406 --> 00:03:14,068 In retrospect. 107 00:03:14,168 --> 00:03:15,749 - Anybody want to make it a mimosa? 108 00:03:15,849 --> 00:03:17,511 - Thanks, but I don't dilute. 109 00:03:17,611 --> 00:03:19,393 - Respect. Sarah? 110 00:03:19,493 --> 00:03:20,994 Your brother and I squeezed the oranges 111 00:03:21,094 --> 00:03:22,116 fresh this morning. 112 00:03:22,216 --> 00:03:23,837 Really gave it everything we got. 113 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:24,958 - Yeah, we did. 114 00:03:25,058 --> 00:03:27,401 - Ooh, wow. Yeah, no. No, thank you. 115 00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:28,602 - Suit yourself. 116 00:03:28,702 --> 00:03:30,704 - I want some. 117 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,087 Ooh, pulpy. - Yeah. 118 00:03:34,187 --> 00:03:36,370 Is that a quiche or a frittata? 119 00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:38,532 Who cares? It's going in me. 120 00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:39,773 Right, Sarah? - Yeah, right. 121 00:03:39,873 --> 00:03:41,295 [chuckles] Boss. 122 00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,496 - Well, this is different. 123 00:03:42,596 --> 00:03:43,777 We usually meet your girlfriends 124 00:03:43,877 --> 00:03:45,098 when they're putting their clothes back on 125 00:03:45,198 --> 00:03:46,340 or hiding in a closet, so yeah, 126 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:47,741 no, this is--this is progress. 127 00:03:47,841 --> 00:03:49,783 - Yeah, she's not my girlfriend. 128 00:03:49,883 --> 00:03:52,065 This is purely physical. No strings attached. 129 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,186 - Dope. - Yeah. 130 00:03:53,286 --> 00:03:54,628 - And you don't think that this is 131 00:03:54,728 --> 00:03:55,989 gonna blow up in your face? 132 00:03:56,089 --> 00:03:57,110 - That's the beauty of it, Sarah. 133 00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:58,672 There's nothing to blow up. 134 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,073 No feelings involved. 135 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,315 No risk. 136 00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,556 - She's my boss. 137 00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:04,598 - Oh, no risk to me. 138 00:04:04,698 --> 00:04:05,999 - Oh. - Yeah, 139 00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:07,321 I thought that was clear. [phone rings] 140 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,282 - Sorry, guys, I got, like, an unknown number. 141 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,365 Give me a sec. 142 00:04:11,465 --> 00:04:12,846 Hello? - Thomas! 143 00:04:12,946 --> 00:04:14,968 Monroe Davies, Wide River Books. 144 00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:18,372 Calling you on my mobile phone from my personal helicopter. 145 00:04:18,472 --> 00:04:20,374 - Mr. Davies, what an honour. 146 00:04:20,474 --> 00:04:21,815 I'm really looking forward to our dinner tonight. 147 00:04:21,915 --> 00:04:23,056 - Me too. 148 00:04:23,156 --> 00:04:24,378 I have to cancel. 149 00:04:24,478 --> 00:04:26,019 Yeah, we're pulling the plug on a novel 150 00:04:26,119 --> 00:04:28,221 at the last minute, and it's a whole to-do. 151 00:04:28,321 --> 00:04:30,824 - You're canceling an entire book release? 152 00:04:30,924 --> 00:04:33,026 - Yeah, the author wrote a book about her ex-husband, 153 00:04:33,126 --> 00:04:34,788 and now he's suing for defamation. 154 00:04:34,888 --> 00:04:36,029 It's a nightmare. 155 00:04:36,129 --> 00:04:37,671 But look, I'm still eager to meet you 156 00:04:37,771 --> 00:04:39,112 before I leave town. 157 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,754 How are you with the right now of at all? 158 00:04:40,854 --> 00:04:42,195 - Now? 159 00:04:42,295 --> 00:04:44,237 Like, "now" now? I don't know. 160 00:04:44,337 --> 00:04:45,999 I mean, I'm in the middle of brunch at my brother's. 161 00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:47,440 - Oh, perfect. 162 00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:49,963 The famous Hayworth family brunch. 163 00:04:50,063 --> 00:04:52,065 Hey, tell me, does your brother have a landing pad? 164 00:04:54,788 --> 00:04:56,209 - You know, I actually have to ask. 165 00:04:56,309 --> 00:04:59,012 - You're all out of quiche, so I think I'm gonna jet. 166 00:04:59,112 --> 00:05:00,413 - No problem. 167 00:05:00,513 --> 00:05:02,095 Hey, I have been working on a text, 168 00:05:02,195 --> 00:05:04,337 and I'm gonna send it around 9:00 p.m. tonight. 169 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:07,581 It goes, "You up?" 170 00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,422 - Well, that text is gonna get a like. 171 00:05:09,522 --> 00:05:11,024 - Ooh. 172 00:05:11,124 --> 00:05:13,747 - Oh, my God, I hate this. 173 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,348 - I didn't have time to make fruit salad, okay? 174 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,509 I just stopped at the gas station. 175 00:05:16,609 --> 00:05:18,071 I'm trying my best. 176 00:05:18,171 --> 00:05:19,673 - Not the fruit salad. Connor and Lauren. 177 00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:21,715 - Oh, because she's your boss? 178 00:05:21,815 --> 00:05:23,596 You're afraid it's gonna hurt your relationship? 179 00:05:23,696 --> 00:05:25,959 - No. I mean... Kind of. 180 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,681 But no, more importantly, I just don't think 181 00:05:27,781 --> 00:05:29,002 that this is good for Connor. 182 00:05:29,102 --> 00:05:30,123 - They seem happy. 183 00:05:30,223 --> 00:05:31,845 Sexually. 184 00:05:31,945 --> 00:05:34,728 - Yeah, but he's just not a casual guy, you know? 185 00:05:34,828 --> 00:05:38,772 He's not a no-strings guy. He's all strings. 186 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,014 - Think you're gonna have to let this one go, kay? 187 00:05:41,114 --> 00:05:42,015 It's his life. 188 00:05:42,115 --> 00:05:43,857 - Yeah, you're probably right. 189 00:05:43,957 --> 00:05:45,418 Is that-- 190 00:05:45,518 --> 00:05:47,460 is that hot dog in this fruit salad? 191 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,022 - I know. It's really bad. 192 00:05:49,122 --> 00:05:50,864 - So this is a very important publisher, 193 00:05:50,964 --> 00:05:52,826 and the future of my book 194 00:05:52,926 --> 00:05:55,668 and maybe even my life depends on this going well. 195 00:05:55,768 --> 00:05:57,470 He just canceled a whole book 196 00:05:57,570 --> 00:06:00,073 because the people in the book weren't cool with it. 197 00:06:00,173 --> 00:06:02,355 You're all in my book. 198 00:06:02,455 --> 00:06:03,356 You gotta be cool, okay? 199 00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:04,517 - We're cool. 200 00:06:04,617 --> 00:06:05,638 Are you? 201 00:06:05,738 --> 00:06:07,080 - No, not really. 202 00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:08,721 - Honey, we've got your back. 203 00:06:08,821 --> 00:06:11,004 Everything's gonna be fine. 204 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,765 - Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. 205 00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:14,807 I just gotta kinda-- whew, okay. 206 00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:16,649 I'm cool. You're cool. 207 00:06:16,749 --> 00:06:18,331 [children screaming] 208 00:06:18,431 --> 00:06:21,054 Kids, could you maybe just cool it with the Silly String? 209 00:06:21,154 --> 00:06:22,535 I feel like they're not being cool. 210 00:06:22,635 --> 00:06:24,737 You guys gonna be cool? - We're cool, Uncle Tommy. 211 00:06:24,837 --> 00:06:26,039 [helicopter blades whirring] - Oh, my God, he's here. 212 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,500 All right, don't freak out. 213 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,541 Just don't freak out, okay? 214 00:06:28,641 --> 00:06:30,023 Don't freak out. Don't freak out! 215 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,545 Nobody freak out! I got this. It's all good. 216 00:06:32,645 --> 00:06:33,706 - Hello, hello! 217 00:06:33,806 --> 00:06:35,028 - Mr. Davies! 218 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,469 - Please, call me Monroe. 219 00:06:36,569 --> 00:06:38,191 Nice place. Little small. 220 00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:40,593 - Welcome. This is--this is my family. 221 00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:42,195 - You know what? 222 00:06:42,295 --> 00:06:43,796 I already know you intimately from the novel. 223 00:06:43,896 --> 00:06:45,478 Now, let's see. 224 00:06:45,578 --> 00:06:47,680 This must be Elena, 225 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:48,921 the true crime-obsessed wife, 226 00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:50,723 never far from a glass of wine. 227 00:06:50,823 --> 00:06:52,525 - This is--this is champagne. 228 00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:53,526 - And Colin, 229 00:06:53,626 --> 00:06:55,088 the deep-pocketed himbo. 230 00:06:55,188 --> 00:06:56,569 - Yeah, I'll take it. 231 00:06:56,669 --> 00:06:58,451 - And of course, the lesbians! 232 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:00,253 - Bingo. - We are that, yeah. 233 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,414 - So great. 234 00:07:01,514 --> 00:07:02,615 You know what, it just feels special 235 00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:03,616 to be embedded among you. 236 00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:04,857 After reading Thomas's novel, 237 00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,579 I felt like I was a Hayworth. 238 00:07:06,679 --> 00:07:09,021 - Oh, so you liked the book. 239 00:07:09,121 --> 00:07:10,623 - I loved it. - You-- 240 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,185 - Yeah, it's got humour, heart, 241 00:07:12,285 --> 00:07:14,547 and the narrator, Tim, what a hoot! 242 00:07:14,647 --> 00:07:16,229 - Oh, you love Tim? 243 00:07:16,329 --> 00:07:17,830 I mean, who doesn't love Tim? [chuckles] 244 00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:19,151 - Right? He's such a weenie. 245 00:07:19,251 --> 00:07:20,593 - Oh. 246 00:07:20,693 --> 00:07:22,595 [laughter] - Okay. 247 00:07:22,695 --> 00:07:24,156 I don't know if I'd say-- 248 00:07:24,256 --> 00:07:25,558 - He's the biggest of weenies! 249 00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:26,879 - He is. - Okay. 250 00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:27,660 Well, he's kind of based on-- 251 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,762 - A total weenie, yes! 252 00:07:29,862 --> 00:07:31,324 Do you want a closed book deal or not? 253 00:07:31,424 --> 00:07:33,045 - He's like a human doormat, you know? 254 00:07:33,145 --> 00:07:34,447 - Right? - Oh! 255 00:07:34,547 --> 00:07:36,329 - Open the door and there's Tim on the floor! 256 00:07:36,429 --> 00:07:38,411 [laughter] 257 00:07:38,511 --> 00:07:39,612 Sorry, Tim! 258 00:07:39,712 --> 00:07:41,534 - What a--what a piece of human trash. 259 00:07:41,634 --> 00:07:43,015 - No, no, that's too far. 260 00:07:43,115 --> 00:07:45,117 - Oh, okay. - That's mean. 261 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,021 Mind if I get a splash? 262 00:07:49,121 --> 00:07:50,022 - Oh, of course. 263 00:07:50,122 --> 00:07:51,624 You know, we're all really excited 264 00:07:51,724 --> 00:07:53,265 for Tom and for us, 265 00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:54,787 'cause we've been on this journey with him, 266 00:07:54,887 --> 00:07:56,669 and it has been a long one. 267 00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:58,631 - That's a nice sentiment. 268 00:07:58,731 --> 00:08:01,233 Truth be told, the lesbian sister-in-law 269 00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:02,274 is my favourite character. 270 00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:03,516 - Oh! 271 00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:05,398 Okay, thank you. [chuckles] 272 00:08:05,498 --> 00:08:08,280 - I mean, everyone else has such big, brash personalities 273 00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:09,682 just jumping off the page. 274 00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:11,283 "Ooh, I'm so interesting," 275 00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:12,485 and "Pay attention to me!" 276 00:08:12,585 --> 00:08:14,326 [chuckles] And then there's you. 277 00:08:14,426 --> 00:08:16,248 The nice one. 278 00:08:16,348 --> 00:08:17,530 - Oh. 279 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,052 Well, I'm more than just nice. - Oh, of course. 280 00:08:20,152 --> 00:08:23,455 I mean, you know, you're also sensible, 281 00:08:23,555 --> 00:08:25,778 practical, rational. 282 00:08:25,878 --> 00:08:27,580 - Okay, you're just listing synonyms for nice. 283 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,661 - Oh. 284 00:08:28,761 --> 00:08:30,062 Well, they all apply. 285 00:08:30,162 --> 00:08:32,064 Cheers. 286 00:08:32,164 --> 00:08:34,186 - Hey, could you pass the pancakes? 287 00:08:34,286 --> 00:08:35,307 Thank you so much. 288 00:08:35,407 --> 00:08:37,229 And the syrup, can you-- 289 00:08:37,329 --> 00:08:38,270 maple. 290 00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:39,672 Thank you, trees. [chuckles] 291 00:08:39,772 --> 00:08:41,233 All right. 292 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,875 And also, I know it's been a really hard year 293 00:08:42,975 --> 00:08:44,356 since your divorce, but this Lauren thing, 294 00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:45,437 it's just not you. 295 00:08:45,537 --> 00:08:47,159 - And there it is. 296 00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:48,520 Did you even want the syrup? 297 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,722 - Sarah, we have talked about this. 298 00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:51,403 Connor is an adult. 299 00:08:51,503 --> 00:08:53,686 - Thank you, Marina. 300 00:08:53,786 --> 00:08:55,327 [spits] 301 00:08:55,427 --> 00:08:57,009 Ew, raisins? 302 00:08:57,109 --> 00:08:58,891 Lupe. - Just pick them off. 303 00:08:58,991 --> 00:08:59,952 - They've already touched everything. 304 00:09:00,032 --> 00:09:01,654 - Okay, he's a semi-adult. 305 00:09:01,754 --> 00:09:03,295 - Oh, I just think 306 00:09:03,395 --> 00:09:05,137 you're too soft-hearted for a woman like that. 307 00:09:05,237 --> 00:09:06,699 - Why can't you just let me make my own decisions? 308 00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,180 You know, I swear, sometimes, 309 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,743 you're like the raisin in the family. 310 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,825 - [scoffs] He just won't listen. 311 00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:14,346 - Can you blame him? 312 00:09:14,446 --> 00:09:16,348 You just can't stop getting into people's business. 313 00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:17,870 - That's not true. 314 00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:19,351 - Yes, it's all over Tom's book, 315 00:09:19,451 --> 00:09:20,993 like when you were ten and you read his journal 316 00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:22,514 to find out who he had a crush on. 317 00:09:22,614 --> 00:09:25,037 - Well, I couldn't anticipate it would be the school nurse. 318 00:09:25,137 --> 00:09:26,598 - You tried to break up Lupe and the magician. 319 00:09:26,698 --> 00:09:28,560 - Magicians lie for a living! 320 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:30,122 Did Tom really put all of that in the book? 321 00:09:30,222 --> 00:09:31,643 - Has no one else read this book but me? 322 00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:33,205 - Hey, doesn't sound like 323 00:09:33,305 --> 00:09:34,446 everyone's being cool over here. 324 00:09:34,546 --> 00:09:35,928 You guys cool? 325 00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:37,449 - Well, apparently your book depicts me 326 00:09:37,549 --> 00:09:39,371 as a interfering know-it-all. 327 00:09:39,471 --> 00:09:40,452 - Everything okay, Thomas? 328 00:09:40,552 --> 00:09:42,014 - Oh, yeah, no. 329 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,575 It's more than okay. 330 00:09:43,675 --> 00:09:45,377 Or as you say in Australia-- 331 00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:48,100 - Oh, no, come on now. I'm from New Zealand. 332 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,262 - Right, yeah, no, I absolutely knew that. 333 00:09:50,362 --> 00:09:51,863 Big fan of your... 334 00:09:51,963 --> 00:09:53,785 distinct culture. 335 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,547 - I actually know a lot about New Zealand, 336 00:09:55,647 --> 00:09:57,029 but I don't know wanna come across as a know-it-all, 337 00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,350 so go ahead. 338 00:09:58,450 --> 00:10:00,312 - Denise, little help here? 339 00:10:00,412 --> 00:10:02,674 - Oh, you want me to be the rational one? 340 00:10:02,774 --> 00:10:05,357 Practical, sensible, nice. 341 00:10:05,457 --> 00:10:06,718 [tense music] 342 00:10:06,818 --> 00:10:08,400 - Yes. - 'Cause that's all I am 343 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,601 in the book, right? 344 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:10,963 The coolheaded sister-in-law 345 00:10:11,063 --> 00:10:12,404 who keeps everything chill. 346 00:10:12,504 --> 00:10:13,405 - I would point out that 347 00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:14,606 she is my favourite character. 348 00:10:14,706 --> 00:10:16,288 - There's a lot more going on with me. 349 00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:18,570 I am complex. - She contains multitudes. 350 00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:19,971 - You even gave Connor layers. 351 00:10:20,071 --> 00:10:21,773 He's not just a vapid tech bro. 352 00:10:21,873 --> 00:10:25,377 He's also a lonely divorcée who's desperate for love. 353 00:10:25,477 --> 00:10:28,019 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, I come off desperate in the book? 354 00:10:28,119 --> 00:10:29,741 Might need to crack this bad boy open again. 355 00:10:29,841 --> 00:10:31,183 - Oh, my. 356 00:10:31,283 --> 00:10:33,225 Anyone else unhappy with their depiction in the book? 357 00:10:33,325 --> 00:10:35,147 Let's just go around the horn and dig in. 358 00:10:35,247 --> 00:10:36,628 - Oh, I've been waiting for this. 359 00:10:36,728 --> 00:10:38,029 - Yeah, so have I. [all shouting at once] 360 00:10:38,129 --> 00:10:39,671 - You have no right to include me 361 00:10:39,771 --> 00:10:41,633 in a book about your family! 362 00:10:41,733 --> 00:10:43,835 I am not in your family! 363 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:46,077 You cannot be telling my secrets. 364 00:10:46,177 --> 00:10:47,319 [all scream] 365 00:10:47,419 --> 00:10:48,800 - Whoa, earthquake! 366 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,682 Earthquake. Did everyone feel that? 367 00:10:50,782 --> 00:10:52,784 Whoa, let's talk about that. 368 00:10:55,146 --> 00:10:56,968 [tense music] 369 00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:58,770 - Kind of a wild day at the Hayworths', eh? 370 00:10:58,870 --> 00:10:59,851 - Oh, this is normal. 371 00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,773 You know how in a pit of vipers, 372 00:11:01,873 --> 00:11:03,495 sometimes they eat each other? 373 00:11:03,595 --> 00:11:05,217 - All too well. 374 00:11:05,317 --> 00:11:07,259 I have a viper pit on my property at Jackson Hall. 375 00:11:07,359 --> 00:11:08,740 - Really? 376 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,542 - I'm actually somewhat of an amateur herpetologist. 377 00:11:10,642 --> 00:11:11,943 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 378 00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:14,145 You know, Tom can still make changes to the book. 379 00:11:14,245 --> 00:11:15,307 He says he wants to add 380 00:11:15,407 --> 00:11:17,269 an epilogue before the afterword. 381 00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:19,431 I don't know. - I mean, I'm not mad at Tom. 382 00:11:19,531 --> 00:11:21,112 He's right. I am the nice one. 383 00:11:21,212 --> 00:11:23,315 The "peacemaker," because that's what 384 00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:25,076 this family has made me. - I get it. 385 00:11:25,176 --> 00:11:26,237 Before I married into the Hayworths, 386 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,039 I never used to drink wine. 387 00:11:28,139 --> 00:11:30,081 I mean, I did, but I didn't need to. 388 00:11:30,181 --> 00:11:31,603 - Everyone expects me to be the mediator, 389 00:11:31,703 --> 00:11:32,844 the voice of reason. 390 00:11:32,944 --> 00:11:34,125 Do you know how exhausting it is 391 00:11:34,225 --> 00:11:35,487 to be empathetic all the time? 392 00:11:35,587 --> 00:11:36,648 - I do not. 393 00:11:36,748 --> 00:11:37,549 - Hey, what are you guys talking about? 394 00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:39,130 [chuckles] 395 00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:40,412 Not that I need to know, but is it about me? 396 00:11:40,512 --> 00:11:41,573 - Are you meddling about whether 397 00:11:41,673 --> 00:11:42,774 we're talking about you meddling? 398 00:11:42,874 --> 00:11:44,055 - So you admit you're talking about it. 399 00:11:44,155 --> 00:11:45,296 - Talking about what, how I can't choose 400 00:11:45,396 --> 00:11:47,138 a sexual partner without my big sister's approval? 401 00:11:47,238 --> 00:11:49,501 - That is not what I said. - I mean, it sort of is. 402 00:11:49,601 --> 00:11:50,702 - Okay, Lulu, back me up here. 403 00:11:50,802 --> 00:11:52,183 This Lauren thing is not good for him. 404 00:11:52,283 --> 00:11:54,866 - No, no, Denise gets it. Right, Denise? 405 00:11:54,966 --> 00:11:55,987 Okay. - Great. 406 00:11:56,087 --> 00:11:57,028 You scared off my wife. 407 00:11:57,128 --> 00:11:58,309 - I scared off your wife? 408 00:11:58,409 --> 00:11:59,871 - Yes, you absolutely scared her off! 409 00:11:59,971 --> 00:12:03,154 - Welcome to the relaxation minute. 410 00:12:03,254 --> 00:12:06,237 Take a deep breath and listen to the ocean waves. 411 00:12:06,337 --> 00:12:09,100 [waves crashing] [children squealing] 412 00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:14,205 - You know what? Not gonna be the peacemaker. 413 00:12:14,305 --> 00:12:17,488 - Feel the sand beneath your toes. 414 00:12:17,588 --> 00:12:19,090 - I don't think this is going well for you. 415 00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:20,732 - Should I do another earthquake? 416 00:12:20,832 --> 00:12:23,214 - If you clean it up. 417 00:12:23,314 --> 00:12:24,936 - Well, Thomas, I think I've seen enough. 418 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:28,019 - No, Monroe, please don't let them sink this. 419 00:12:28,119 --> 00:12:29,781 Look, I was thinking about-- I could change the plot 420 00:12:29,881 --> 00:12:33,224 to, like, a book about a guy who runs away from his family 421 00:12:33,324 --> 00:12:35,266 because they keep crushing his dreams. 422 00:12:35,366 --> 00:12:38,389 - Why would I want that? Your family's delightful. 423 00:12:38,489 --> 00:12:40,191 - So you're not worried that they're gonna 424 00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:41,632 sue for defamation like with that other book? 425 00:12:41,732 --> 00:12:42,834 - Oh, no, with that one, 426 00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,635 we actually were defaming someone. 427 00:12:44,735 --> 00:12:47,358 Yeah, the writer implied her ex-husband was a cannibal. 428 00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:49,841 Real wackadoo stuff. But your family dysfunction? 429 00:12:49,941 --> 00:12:51,642 I mean, that's the stuff dreams are made of. 430 00:12:51,742 --> 00:12:53,725 And money. - So you're in? 431 00:12:53,825 --> 00:12:56,808 - As we say in New Zealand... 432 00:12:56,908 --> 00:12:58,770 I'm in. - [laughs] 433 00:12:58,870 --> 00:13:00,651 That's great! - Hooray. 434 00:13:00,751 --> 00:13:02,213 Okay, don't touch. - Okay. 435 00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:04,135 - Thomas, I love the book, and I have a plan 436 00:13:04,235 --> 00:13:06,337 for it to reach as many people as possible. 437 00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:09,060 Your novel will be the flagship for our new imprint: 438 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:12,183 Wide River Audiobooks. 439 00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,665 - Okay, but there'll still be a physical copy 440 00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:15,987 I can hold in my hands, right? 441 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,270 - No, no, audiobook exclusive. Print is dead. 442 00:13:19,370 --> 00:13:21,432 People will listen to this as they go about their day 443 00:13:21,532 --> 00:13:22,834 whilst they're scrolling on Twitter 444 00:13:22,934 --> 00:13:24,515 and making pizza pies. 445 00:13:24,615 --> 00:13:27,838 - Oh! An audiobook. How exciting. 446 00:13:27,938 --> 00:13:29,800 Tom, maybe--maybe you could narrate it? 447 00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:31,883 - [chuckles] I don't think so. 448 00:13:31,983 --> 00:13:33,764 Listeners will need to know it's a man speaking. 449 00:13:33,864 --> 00:13:36,087 I'm hoping to get Joe Rogan. 450 00:13:36,187 --> 00:13:39,330 - So there'll be no copy of the book 451 00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:41,892 on my local bookstore shelf? 452 00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:43,374 Nothing to sign? 453 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:46,257 - I see this as next summer's big beach read. 454 00:13:46,357 --> 00:13:47,498 Sorry, beach listen. 455 00:13:47,598 --> 00:13:49,380 Although I do think it needs a better title. 456 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,662 "Home Economics" is a bit of a snoozer, don't you think? 457 00:13:51,762 --> 00:13:55,026 I want something louder, buzzier. 458 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,489 What would you say to "The Lesbians' Brother"? 459 00:14:00,531 --> 00:14:02,393 - Well, inclusion is good. 460 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,355 - And representation matters. 461 00:14:04,455 --> 00:14:06,677 - There are two brothers, though. 462 00:14:06,777 --> 00:14:09,200 - We'll only be focusing on you, the rich, sexy one. 463 00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,881 - Totally get that. - And, of course, the lesbians. 464 00:14:10,981 --> 00:14:13,164 - You keep saying that. 465 00:14:13,264 --> 00:14:15,686 - See, I just don't know, I think it feels... 466 00:14:15,786 --> 00:14:17,248 I mean, a little crass. 467 00:14:17,348 --> 00:14:18,409 - Exactly. 468 00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:19,890 Now you're thinking like an author. 469 00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,493 And I've even got some mock-ups here for the cover. 470 00:14:22,593 --> 00:14:23,774 Of course, you'd have to imagine 471 00:14:23,874 --> 00:14:26,217 it's a bit smaller on the phone. 472 00:14:26,317 --> 00:14:28,018 - Oh, my God. - That's a lot of cleavage. 473 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,940 - Wow, they even got the abs right. 474 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,142 - Tantalising, isn't it? - Yeah. 475 00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:34,665 - Imagine that on your phone. I'd give that a listen. 476 00:14:34,765 --> 00:14:37,348 So for the exclusive rights to fully exploit 477 00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:39,870 "The Lesbians' Brother" on all audio platforms, 478 00:14:39,970 --> 00:14:42,733 I'm prepared to make you a generous offer. 479 00:14:44,655 --> 00:14:48,519 - Look, uh...okay. 480 00:14:48,619 --> 00:14:50,861 Okay. Okay. Um... 481 00:14:53,624 --> 00:14:54,765 What is a book, really? 482 00:14:54,865 --> 00:14:56,407 I mean, you know, you don't need to hold one 483 00:14:56,507 --> 00:14:58,168 in your hand, right? - Nope. 484 00:14:58,268 --> 00:14:59,730 - It's got all those pages. - Oof. 485 00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:01,612 - All those, like--you know, you get the paper cuts. 486 00:15:01,712 --> 00:15:03,013 - Hold on a second. 487 00:15:03,113 --> 00:15:05,856 Can I just steal my husband for a minute? 488 00:15:05,956 --> 00:15:08,539 - [laughs] Classic pushy Elena. 489 00:15:08,639 --> 00:15:10,621 [laughing] I love it. 490 00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:13,464 - This is hot stuff. 491 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:14,625 Real hot stuff. 492 00:15:14,725 --> 00:15:16,727 - Connor! - Yeah. 493 00:15:18,609 --> 00:15:21,672 - Tom, this isn't what you said you wanted, like, at all. 494 00:15:21,772 --> 00:15:23,914 - Yeah, but this is everything we've been working for. 495 00:15:24,014 --> 00:15:25,636 We could finally get the roof fixed. 496 00:15:25,736 --> 00:15:27,237 We talked about daycare. We could go on a vacation. 497 00:15:27,337 --> 00:15:28,719 This is Tahiti money! 498 00:15:28,819 --> 00:15:30,681 - Tahiti's not the vibe. More of a Tulum thing now. 499 00:15:30,781 --> 00:15:32,763 - But "The Lesbians' Brother"? 500 00:15:32,863 --> 00:15:34,845 That is not you. - Yeah, maybe not. 501 00:15:34,945 --> 00:15:37,407 But I don't know, maybe Monroe's right 502 00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:39,369 and print is dead. 503 00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:41,812 How can I say no to this deal? 504 00:15:41,912 --> 00:15:43,293 Why can't I have money for-- 505 00:15:43,393 --> 00:15:45,095 why can't I be the Connor of this family? 506 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,577 - Oh, Tom, no offence, it's a good deal, 507 00:15:46,677 --> 00:15:47,978 but it's not Connor money. 508 00:15:48,078 --> 00:15:49,580 - Connor, not helping. Sarah? 509 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,301 - Hmm? - Can you--can you jump in? 510 00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:55,505 - Oh, I support whatever decision Tom makes. 511 00:15:55,605 --> 00:15:56,907 - What? 512 00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:58,468 - Yeah, well, I've been told recently 513 00:15:58,568 --> 00:16:00,591 that I meddle too much, so I'm gonna sit this one out. 514 00:16:00,691 --> 00:16:03,133 - No, Sarah, no. 515 00:16:04,614 --> 00:16:06,156 Okay, yes, yes. You meddle, yes. 516 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,678 You stick your nose where it doesn't belong, but-- 517 00:16:07,778 --> 00:16:09,319 [tuts] Let me finish. 518 00:16:09,419 --> 00:16:12,242 But it comes from a place of love. 519 00:16:12,342 --> 00:16:14,124 And sometimes your family needs it. 520 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:17,287 Okay, everyone here, we all play a role 521 00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:19,569 for a reason. 522 00:16:19,669 --> 00:16:20,691 You're the meddler. I'm the coach. 523 00:16:20,791 --> 00:16:23,533 So get in there and meddle. 524 00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:25,856 - Yeah, okay. I accept your apology. 525 00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:27,657 [cracks knuckles] I got this. 526 00:16:27,757 --> 00:16:30,140 Tom. Tommy. Tommy, baby. 527 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,702 I know you better than you know you, okay? 528 00:16:32,802 --> 00:16:34,865 If you take this deal, 529 00:16:34,965 --> 00:16:35,926 yeah, you'll probably feel good today, 530 00:16:36,006 --> 00:16:37,267 maybe even tomorrow, 531 00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:38,949 but then guess who's knocking at your door. 532 00:16:39,049 --> 00:16:40,670 [raps desk] It's your old pal, regret. 533 00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:42,072 And you're gonna invite him in, 534 00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:45,155 and he's gonna make himself real comfortable. 535 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,838 And no amount of poolside coladas in Tahiti 536 00:16:47,938 --> 00:16:49,079 are gonna make him go away. 537 00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:51,321 - Tulum. - This arrangement is not you. 538 00:16:51,421 --> 00:16:53,083 You're settling because you're afraid 539 00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:54,604 that this is the best you can get, 540 00:16:54,704 --> 00:16:58,028 and you deserve better, and you know that. 541 00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,855 [soft music] 542 00:17:04,955 --> 00:17:07,817 - You know what? You're right. 543 00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:10,380 Thank you, Sarah. - You're welcome. 544 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,183 ♪ ♪ 545 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,784 - [sighs] 546 00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:16,706 - Okay, enough. 547 00:17:16,806 --> 00:17:18,868 Connor, I know you heard what Sarah just said. 548 00:17:18,968 --> 00:17:20,390 - Maybe. 549 00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:22,993 - And you know that applies to you as well as Tom. 550 00:17:23,093 --> 00:17:24,194 You don't have to settle for something 551 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,515 less than you deserve. 552 00:17:25,615 --> 00:17:26,916 - I guess. 553 00:17:27,016 --> 00:17:28,918 - And Sarah, you know that sometimes 554 00:17:29,018 --> 00:17:30,160 your advice comes off a little... 555 00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:31,761 - Controlling. Annoying. Judging. 556 00:17:31,861 --> 00:17:32,882 - All right, we don't need that. 557 00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:34,164 - Overbearing. - No, we got it. 558 00:17:34,264 --> 00:17:37,327 But it does come from a place of love. 559 00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:39,429 - It really does. 560 00:17:42,272 --> 00:17:43,813 - I know. 561 00:17:43,913 --> 00:17:47,137 - Okay, so are we cool? 562 00:17:47,237 --> 00:17:48,698 - Yeah, we're cool. - We're getting there. 563 00:17:48,798 --> 00:17:51,181 - Okay, we're getting there. 564 00:17:51,281 --> 00:17:52,902 I thought you were done peacemaking. 565 00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:54,624 - Yeah, I thought you were out of the game. 566 00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:58,027 - Had to do one last job before retirement. 567 00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:01,671 - Mr. Davies, why are so many of your YA fantasy books 568 00:18:01,771 --> 00:18:02,992 about male protagonists 569 00:18:03,092 --> 00:18:05,094 rescuing their female counterparts? 570 00:18:06,856 --> 00:18:10,480 - Uh... would you like a sweet? 571 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:11,961 - Monroe, I'd like you to know, 572 00:18:12,061 --> 00:18:14,964 I really appreciate you coming here today 573 00:18:15,064 --> 00:18:17,487 and your sincere interest in my book. 574 00:18:17,587 --> 00:18:20,089 And however much I might want you to publish it, 575 00:18:20,189 --> 00:18:22,892 I'm afraid I can't sign this contract. 576 00:18:22,992 --> 00:18:25,495 [both mouthing words] 577 00:18:25,595 --> 00:18:29,459 Look, "Home Economics" isn't some breezy beach listen 578 00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:30,980 or salacious lesbian romp. 579 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,702 It's about a real family. 580 00:18:32,802 --> 00:18:34,504 It's... 581 00:18:34,604 --> 00:18:37,467 ♪ ♪ 582 00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:39,188 It's about my family. 583 00:18:39,288 --> 00:18:40,710 And that's why people are gonna read it. 584 00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:44,554 That's right. I said "read it." 585 00:18:44,654 --> 00:18:46,195 - Okay, pass me the contract. 586 00:18:46,295 --> 00:18:47,917 - No, you don't-- 587 00:18:48,017 --> 00:18:52,261 - This is my last, best, and final offer. 588 00:18:53,503 --> 00:18:55,885 - Oh, come on. 589 00:18:55,985 --> 00:18:58,808 Come on. Whew! 590 00:18:58,908 --> 00:19:00,490 Oh, that's a very big number. [sniffs] 591 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:02,972 That's a very big number. 592 00:19:03,072 --> 00:19:06,095 Bigger than the other number, which is already very big. 593 00:19:06,195 --> 00:19:08,418 How about the marketing and the audiobook? 594 00:19:08,518 --> 00:19:09,819 - That's non-negotiable. 595 00:19:09,919 --> 00:19:11,420 I know it stings. 596 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,623 Just consider the money a soothing ointment. 597 00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:15,304 [helicopter blades whirring] 598 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,346 - There's another helicopter. 599 00:19:17,446 --> 00:19:19,188 - Ah, most likely mine, 600 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,910 unless anyone else is expecting. 601 00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:23,553 No? Right. 602 00:19:23,653 --> 00:19:26,195 You'll be in touch. 603 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:29,959 [door clicks] 604 00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:34,243 - So I gave it a lot of thought and I decided... 605 00:19:34,343 --> 00:19:35,565 I'm in. 606 00:19:35,665 --> 00:19:37,647 I want you to publish my book. 607 00:19:37,747 --> 00:19:40,169 - Well, that's fantastic, Tom. 608 00:19:40,269 --> 00:19:42,171 You know, when your agent didn't call us back, 609 00:19:42,271 --> 00:19:43,893 I was sure you'd been snapped up 610 00:19:43,993 --> 00:19:46,375 by a bigger publisher for a lot more money. 611 00:19:46,475 --> 00:19:49,258 - Oh, I didn't even consider that for a second. 612 00:19:49,358 --> 00:19:51,540 - I'm sorry we can't offer a bigger advance. 613 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,302 We can barely keep the lights on over here. 614 00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:56,145 But your book is in loving hands. 615 00:19:56,245 --> 00:19:57,907 - Well, that's what's important. 616 00:19:58,007 --> 00:20:00,469 Thank you. [line beeps] 617 00:20:00,569 --> 00:20:01,911 Well, who needs Tahiti, right? 618 00:20:02,011 --> 00:20:04,013 - Next book. 619 00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:08,177 [babies wailing] 620 00:20:12,381 --> 00:20:13,602 - Now that we've satisfied one appetite, 621 00:20:13,702 --> 00:20:14,844 should we move on to another? - Actually, 622 00:20:14,944 --> 00:20:17,126 I was thinking now that we're all dirty, 623 00:20:17,226 --> 00:20:18,928 we could do something even dirtier. 624 00:20:19,028 --> 00:20:20,810 - Tell me more. 625 00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:23,732 - I'm thinking we slip into some silk robes... 626 00:20:23,832 --> 00:20:24,934 - Okay. 627 00:20:25,034 --> 00:20:26,856 - Saunter on over to the couch... 628 00:20:26,956 --> 00:20:28,497 - Mm-hmm. 629 00:20:28,597 --> 00:20:30,860 - Snuggle up... 630 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:31,981 - Snuggle up? 631 00:20:32,081 --> 00:20:34,143 - Just, like, watch a movie. 632 00:20:34,243 --> 00:20:37,546 Or like a-- maybe a limited series. 633 00:20:37,646 --> 00:20:38,988 That tickle documentary's 634 00:20:39,088 --> 00:20:40,950 supposed to be pretty messed up. 635 00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:44,713 Maybe that show where they make desserts out of other desserts. 636 00:20:44,813 --> 00:20:47,796 - So, Connor, is this a date? 637 00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:50,920 - Would that be the worst thing? 638 00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:52,401 - I mean, it's just not who we are. 639 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,882 - [sighs] 640 00:20:53,982 --> 00:20:58,327 But I think it's who I am. 641 00:20:58,427 --> 00:21:01,170 As annoying as my sister is, I think she was right. 642 00:21:01,270 --> 00:21:02,731 - Here we go again. 643 00:21:02,831 --> 00:21:05,374 Why do men always have to talk to their sisters? 644 00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:06,976 Okay. 645 00:21:07,076 --> 00:21:08,417 I'm gonna eat these in the bath. 646 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,579 They're tub ribs now. - That's fair. 647 00:21:10,679 --> 00:21:13,942 - Best of luck. - See you at school. 648 00:21:14,042 --> 00:21:16,044 [door slams] That'll be fun.