♪ ♪
MARKER: You don't have time for ass.
Don't get caught up.
That's how they get you.
Next thing you know,
your pants are around your ankles
with mismatched socks on
and the revolution on pause.
‐ Shut up.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't put me in a drawer! No, no, no!
Don't put me in a drawer, Keef!
♪ ♪
Fuck you.
♪ ♪
‐ You know you make crying noises when you sleep?
‐ Oh, I am well aware.
Don't you think for a second I'm ashamed of it.
ADRIENNE: Should be.
‐ Well, I'll have you know,
other than that, I'm a normal guy.
‐ Mm, I hope not. I hate normal.
I like full crazy.
‐ You want full crazy? ‐ Yeah.
‐ Well, allow me to introduce you
to my talking marker.
‐ Yeesh, that's too crazy.
‐ Yeah, that's very crazy.
‐ So Black People for Rent?
KEEF: Oh, yes. Black People for Rent.
Funny story, you and all the other crazy white people
from the party the other night?
Yeah, y'all inspired it.
‐ I inspired your idea?
‐ Oh, don't worry.
I'll give you a shout‐out at the Pulitzers.
‐ No, I can see that leading to acrimony and tears.
From you.
Why don't you just go down on me one more time
while we still like each other?
You stole my idea.
‐ Okay.
‐ Let me lead the way. ‐ Okay.
‐ Warmer. KEEF: Mm?
‐ Warmer. KEEF: Okay.
‐ Way colder. KEEF: Oh, see‐‐okay.
SINGER: ♪ Melt down your wedding ring ♪
♪ It's all wild child ♪
♪ Falling and fading ♪
♪ But remember when ♪
♪ You taught me we aren't everything ♪
♪ ♪
‐ Now, who the fuck was that? ‐
♪ ♪
‐ Okay.
‐ Hey, so what's up with the white girl
that was in our house the other day?
‐ I don't know, but let's hope it was a one night stand or‐‐
KEEF: Hey. GUNTHER: Oh, hey!
‐ What up? GUNTHER: 'Sup?
‐ Oh, nothing much.
‐ What's this? ‐ Check it out.
GUNTHER: Okay.
"Black People for Rent."
Okay. ‐ Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We get it. You woke as fuck.
What's up with the girl?
‐ Yeah, I don't wanna talk about the girl.
‐ Well, tell us about the lady then.
‐ Or we can move on.
‐ All right. Don't worry about it.
‐ Okay, yeah, no. I get it.
Uh, Black People represents... Black people?
Right? That's what you're saying?
‐ I don't know. Is that what you get from it?
‐ Uh, is that what you want me to get from it?
‐ I mean, you know, it's not for me to say.
‐ Mm. ‐ But it is for me to ask.
‐ You know she owe me some toast, right?
‐
Isn't there a ball pit you can go play in?
Adults are talking.
‐ Hold on, did‐‐ did you put these up?
‐ Yeah. All over the city.
‐ What? ‐ Yeah.
‐ Dude, why would you do that?
‐ Why would I do‐‐
what are you talking about, man?
That's‐‐that's art. It's my art.
And I think my art should be seen
by as many people as possible.
‐ You know what?
You might be onto something, Keef.
This could be big business, man.
You could make some money.
‐ Okay. ‐ Wait, hold up.
So you're actually renting Black people?
I mean, I'm gonna be honest,
I think that's human trafficking.
‐ No, that's‐‐
That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm‐‐ I'm just calling out the idea
that San Francisco loves Black culture,
but not Black people.
‐ Okay, yeah.
But aren't you afraid of how some people might interpret it?
And by "some people,"
I'm talking very specifically about white people.
You do know how we get, right?
‐ I know it. ‐ Oh, sh‐‐hey.
Y'all wanna play "Who gonna say the N‐word" game?
‐ Well, I don't wanna play, but my money is on...
the guy in the Brooks Brothers suit.
GUNTHER: Oh.
Okay, well, I don't really wanna play either,
but no, not him.
He'll just mouth it.
See that guy? Right there.
Yes. He's going to say it.
See, right now, he's having this internal argument
about artistic license and that,
"If I don't say the N‐word,
the message of the song will never come through."
‐ I don't wanna play the game, but...I disagree.
‐ You do wanna play.
What the hell is you talking about?
Man, it's gonna be...
it's gonna be the Macaulay‐Culkin‐looking
motherfucker right here.
He gonna say it.
‐ Here we go. Here we go.
RAPPER: ♪ I got to maintain 'cause a‐‐ ♪
GUNTHER: Shit! CLOVIS: Damn!
‐ What, a blackout? ‐ Fucking PG&E.
Guess we will never know.
‐ Bullshit.
Hey!
Which one of you niggas was gonna say "nigga"?
‐ What I'm saying is, if we were actually blind,
we'd still be in that bar.
‐ Okay.
In this scenario, are all three of us blind?
‐ Mm‐hmm. Yes, obviously.
‐ How the fuck that happen?
‐ Global catastrophe.
It's an inconvenient truth.
‐ God, man, that is dark.
‐ Well, everything is dark in the world of the blind.
‐ Okay.
CLOVIS: Shit. Hey, hey, hey.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Hey, that's the cutie from the bar, man.
‐ Yeah, good luck with that.
‐ You do realize ain't no woman out of my league, right?
‐ Uh, no.
I'm seeming to remember a beautiful sneakerhead
named Ayana.
‐ So who are you gonna pretend to be this time?
‐ So you actually feel like I can't pull a cutie as myself?
‐ No, 'cause you haven't done it yet.
You know what I mean? ‐ All right.
I'll tell you what. Watch this.
I'ma go over there, I'ma use everything Ayana said,
and I'ma still seal the deal.
Watch and learn.
Losers.
Looking like a buddy cop movie.
‐ Oh.
WOMAN: Hi. CLOVIS: Hey.
You were at the, uh‐‐ at the bar, right?
‐ Yeah.
Busy bar. Couldn't even get a drink.
‐ Oh, wow. You know what?
I actually wanna buy you that drink.
But not too many 'cause I don't want you
to make any bad decisions.
‐ We seem to have common interests.
‐ Yeah, see, we do. We do.
Keep it real. Um, I'm feeling you.
‐ Contact.
‐ He touched her hand. ‐ Yeah.
‐ She allowed it. ‐ That's wild.
‐ You know, you come back to my place.
‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ I pour you a little rosé.
‐ ‐ Right?
Got a little Trey Songz on
and, uh, I just tap that ass.
Respectfully.
‐ Oh, my God. ‐ No, you can't do that.
‐
‐ He better not get us banned from here.
‐ That's your game?
‐ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You laughin'.
‐
Get the fuck out of my face, little man.
‐ Oh! ‐
‐ Wannabe Mini‐Me James Harden motherfucker.
‐
Hey, I'ma go‐‐ I'ma go get that.
You know what I mean? I got this.
KEEF: Yeah. GUNTHER: Good call, yeah.
KEEF: That's a real good idea, to follow her home.
Yeah, you should do that. ‐ True failure is never trying.
‐ Guess so.
‐ Yeah. Doesn't say that, but...
‐
‐ Oh, look. See? Look at this right here.
That's what I was telling you about.
This guy actually thinks he can rent a Black person.
‐ No. No, no, no, no.
He's just interacting with the art, dude.
This is a good thing.
‐ No. I'm telling you, man.
I know our ways.
‐ Mom.
Mom! ‐ What?
‐ Can we rent one for my birthday party?
ALFIE: ♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Running round in circles ♪
‐ Is that a movie?
It's in very poor taste.
ALFIE: ♪ I see that you don't seem to care ♪
‐ I think I'm mad about this.
Should I be mad about this?
‐ Depends what you wanna rent them for.
ALFIE: ♪ Running in circles ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Never ends ♪
‐ ALFIE: ♪ Circles ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Never ends ♪
‐ Don't ask me for anything else.
‐ Okay.
WOMAN ON PHONE: Oh, my God. What is this?
What are you trying to do to people?
MAN ON PHONE: I'm a white person and I'm‐‐
WOMAN: Hello. I am a concerned white‐‐
MAN: I'm white and I'm conce‐‐
‐ White people seem concerned.
‐ Listen to one of the racist dudes.
That's‐‐
MAN: Yeah, all right.
I want a basketball playing, watermelon eating‐‐
‐ All right.
‐ And apparently, white people can be racist too.
What is your point?
‐ Really? Okay.
You know what? This is the point right here.
PAUL: Hello, my name is Paul,
and my company is throwing an event on the 23rd,
and we're looking to, uh, diversify the crowd a bit
and we saw your ad.
If you could give us a call
and discuss rates, we would really‐‐
‐ Rates. Wanna discuss rates.
‐ Wow.
That's fucked up.
‐ That is fucked up! ‐ Yeah.
KEEF: That is fucked up.
I was expecting all the bleeding hearts
and stuff like that, but I wasn't expecting that.
‐ I think we have a story here.
‐ Boom.
That's why I came to you because you‐‐
you know, this is‐‐
I'm just gonna‐‐I'm gonna call everybody back and‐‐
‐ No.
I'll do that. ‐ You're gonna do it?
‐ Yeah. KEEF: All right.
I feel like I'm in a Woodward and Bernstein situation.
You know? It's exciting.
‐ You need to grow this thing. KEEF: Yeah.
‐ Go out, hang up more posters...
That's it.
‐ Okay, cool. AYANA: Okay.
‐ All right, then. ‐ Go ahead and do it.
‐ Absolutely. ‐ Teamwork.
‐ Teamwork make the dream work. ‐ Bye.
‐ Bye, bye, bye, bye, racism‐‐ ‐ Okay, you're still here.
‐ Oh. AYANA: So...
‐ Oh, you want me to go now? ‐ Yeah.
‐ I just wanna say‐‐ ‐ Mm‐mm.
‐ Okay. ‐ We're done.
WOMAN: These posters are genius.
MAN: How much do you think they charge?
MAN: This shit is racist.
WOMAN: It's either this or drive rideshare.
BIN: This ain't new.
Black people been for rent
as long as they been for sale.
Keefy Keef, come on. This ain't art.
♪ ♪
CLOVIS: Mm‐hmm. Yeah.
Ta‐da!
‐ Black People for Rent T‐shirts.
‐ Yes!
Come on. Hmm?
‐ Look, I'll be honest with you, man.
I'm not sure this is what Ayana meant
when she said, "Grow this thing."
‐ Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Hey, Keef, listen, man.
I am invested in you, man.
But I'm also invested in these T‐shirts, all right?
‐ All right. ‐ So let's get over that, man.
Let's get this money, okay? ‐ Get this money, okay?
‐ Hey, who's that on your phone?
‐ Who's that on my‐‐huh?
‐ Is that the girl from last week?
‐ Just‐‐
‐ Man, I told you about fucking catching feelings, man.
‐ I'm not catching feelings, dude.
I'm just‐‐wait.
Let's just rewind for a second. ‐ Go ahead.
‐ As I recall, the last two women you hit on?
‐ Mm‐hmm? ‐ Cut you off at the knees.
And I will stop there because it's just too easy.
‐ You think you're funny.
You know‐‐but you know what's really easy
is gonna be getting this money with these shirts.
Come on.
Hey, touch it.
‐ What? ‐ Touch it.
‐ Okay ‐ Come on.
‐ Not when you say it like that.
CLOVIS: You know you want to.
You feeling that. Look at your face.
It's soft. ‐ It is soft.
‐ It's silky. ‐ Okay.
‐ It's smooth.
Look how it lays.
You see how the beard sits on it?
‐ Okay, pump your brakes, Frederick Douglass.
You might be the only Black man
to get this excited about cotton.
‐ Black folks don't like cotton?
‐ Okay.
♪ ♪
JIMMY: ♪ Let me keep away ♪
♪ Let me ♪
♪ If only new tattoo ♪
‐ Oh, hey.
That's a‐‐that's a nice shirt.
‐ This? ‐ Yeah.
I make it.
Uh, Black People for Rent.
‐ Oh, that's smart, man. Very powerful.
♪ ♪
So do I just fill out an application or...
‐ Application? What do you mean?
‐ Yeah, for a job.
I tried calling, but the voicemail was full.
‐ Since we can't buy them anymore,
guess renting is almost as good.
‐ Oh.
Yes. Uh, yeah, yes.
Uh, keep calling
and we're gonna get back to you.
‐ All right, yeah! ‐ Yeah.
‐ Appreciate it, man. ‐ Yes, sir.
‐ Hey, good looking out. ‐ I appreciate that.
‐ All right, man. ‐ Take it easy.
‐ Take it easy, brother. ‐
JIMMY: ♪ I'll die if I see a new lady ♪
♪ Let me ♪
♪ Keep away ♪
‐ Shit.
Shit, shit.
♪ ♪
MAN: Yeah, hello. Is this Black People for Rent?
My name is Darnell.
I'm looking for work.
Is this flat rate? Hourly?
Yo, I'm real Black.
Like, real, real, Black. Like, wassup?
‐ And that's just the tip of the iceberg, bro.
I'm telling you, man.
A woman with a PhD in astrophysics called,
and another guy called
asking if he needed any special skills.
I'm telling you, man, this is crazy.
‐ Hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what else is crazy? Hmm?
Bam! KEEF: That's not‐‐
‐ Look at the socks, man. Black People for Rent socks.
Okay, that didn't get you. I get it, right?
You don't like socks. I see your feet, right?
Okay. Bam!
Look at the headband. I know you love it, brah.
Come on now. Look at that. What?
Okay, you're not rocking with that.
All right. Bam! Got sweatbands.
‐ Bro, I'm telling you, man, this is messed up!
It really is.
Half the people who called were Black people
looking for work.
More than half! ‐ I got it.
I got it. We gonna create a app.
Huh? What? Think about it.
Where Black people can rent themselves out.
‐ Oh, dear Lord.
‐ Yeah, no, I'm saying that's it, man.
This gonna make your stuff bigger.
‐ That's the point.
Blackness should not be a commodity.
‐ But it's the original commodity.
‐ I'm shooketh.
Yeah, shook‐eth.
This? This, uh, poster?
It's got some white folks talking crazy.
‐ I bet.
‐ Yeah, I even overheard one miscreant
ask if there was a rent‐to‐own option.
Funny stuff, huh?
‐ You need to relax, bro.
You want some socks?
‐ Fuck your socks, all right?
Now, I know this isn't my place to say it, but...
maybe you should just stick to drawing your cartoons.
Okay? ‐ Wow.
Really?
You know I'm more than a cartoonist, right?
Are you telling me to "shut up and draw"?
‐ No.
Yes.
Maybe, all right?
I just don't think
you thought this all the way through.
'Cause ever since you put these up,
I got white people throwing their racism in my face.
It's‐‐it's gross.
‐ Oh, my God, dude!
I had no idea you were the victim!
‐ I'm just saying.
You're opening Pandora's box.
‐ But that's art, right?
Art is supposed to provoke.
That's a good thing!
I think.
ADRIENNE: So when I was, like, 12,
I found this dead starfish
in a rock pool near where I lived, and‐‐
‐ Bit of a non sequitur, but okay.
‐ No.
You asked if art was supposed to make you uncomfortable.
I'm telling you a story. ‐ Oh, okay.
‐ Starfish. ‐ Tell me the story.
‐ So I found this starfish
and I stuck all these hypodermic needles in its arms,
and I called it a shooting star.
I was trying to make a comment
about how polluted the beach was,
but my teacher thought I was promoting drug use
and they ended up urine‐testing kids
right through high school, so I was popular.
‐ Mm.
What is a 12‐year‐old doing with hypodermic needles?
‐ That's your takeaway from this?
‐ Absolutely. ‐ Okay.
Keef, if you wanna make art that provokes,
you can't control how people react.
‐
I kinda like you.
‐ I figured.
I'm gonna make a coffee.
‐ Cool, cool.
I'll take mine, uh, almond milk...
‐ Everything okay?
‐ Why in the heck is this white woman inside of me?
Feels wrong, doesn't it?
How this change the message?
‐ Stop talking, stop talking.
SHIRT: See, you consented to this
the moment you put your art out there.
It is all your fault‐‐ your fault!
ADRIENNE: What? ‐ What's up? Hmm?
‐ You were talking.
‐ No, I was just, um...
‐ Say it, come on.
‐ Okay.
Do you mind taking that shirt off?
SHIRT: Thank you. ‐ Is everything all right?
‐ No, everything's fine.
‐ No, it's not. ‐ Everything's‐‐
SHIRT: It's not. ‐ You know?
SHIRT: It's not fine. ‐ It's not you.
‐ It is her! ‐ It's not the shirt.
It's‐‐it's you in the shirt. ‐ Wow.
‐ Offering Black people for rent.
‐ How the fuck she didn't read that?
‐ Shit. SHIRT: That's right.
‐ I'm so‐‐I'm so sorry.
That's my bad. SHIRT: You know something?
Let me speak to a manager.
‐ Get to the bank...
and get me some paper!
♪ Getting the bread up ♪
Yo, that's‐‐ ‐ Cheers.
♪ ♪
‐ Who the fuck is that?
Man, why is it random white women
walking around the house?
This shit is ridiculous, man.
‐ Dude, will you be real with me for a second?
‐ Yeah, that robe look dumb.
‐ No, man.
Like, am I being crazy?
Like, you really like this shit?
‐ Shit, I don't know, but he my friend,
so I'ma support him.
And you should too.
‐ Yeah.
Fuck.
‐ Yo. GUNTHER: Hmm?
‐ You can show real support by spending $19.99
on one of these shirts.
♪ ♪
‐ Oh. No, ma'am.
We're not really renting people.
It's‐‐it's art.
‐ But we do have...
these limited‐edition T‐shirts
that supports this Black artist who is Black.
Guaranteed to bring your white guilt down 2%.
Check it out.
‐ You should definitely not wear it though.
‐ Hey, this America.
You can do what you want. Come on.
I got yellow. Look real good on you.
‐ Buy it. Don't wear it.
You will get beat up.
‐ We will send a Black person to escort you
while wearing the T‐shirt.
‐ Not true.
♪ ♪
‐ Hey. AYANA: Hey.
KEEF: So, um, remember that story
that you were thinking about?
‐ I wasn't thinking about it. I was writing it.
‐ Well, I just thought about it and you‐‐
you don't have to.
It‐‐it's done. Just don't even do it.
‐ Oh, I see. Here we are again.
Mr. Say Something Important and Then Walk It Back.
‐ Okay, I know it's a lot, right?
But there was this whole, um‐‐ this whole T‐shirt thing?
‐ What T‐shirt thing?
‐ Oh, I made Black People for Rent T‐shirts
because you told me to grow this thing
and make this thing a lot bigger
and so that's exactly what I did,
but it got weird.
‐ Oh, I see.
Some white girl you're sleeping with put it on,
and now you feel different about it.
‐ How'd you know?
‐ What the fuck?
‐ What?
‐ Been there.
Look, white people love edgy Black shit,
and once they put it on, the narrative changes.
Not everything needs to be for sale.
Can you imagine if Angela Davis had a Etsy?
‐ Oh, my God. That would be pretty dope.
I would get, like, a black turtleneck
and a leather jacket over, you know what I mean?
And then‐‐it'd be nice.
It'd be nice. AYANA: Hey. Right here?
‐ Oh. ‐ You let this out.
So you have to deal with it.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Kay?
Bye, Keef.
‐ Bye. You just‐‐really?
♪ ♪
MAN: This dude used our struggle
for his own artistic gain.
Cancel his ass.
MAN: Where's my job, Keef Knight?
MAN: Stick to drawing. WOMAN: Okay, San Francisco.
MAN: Black People for Rent sucks.
WOMAN: Fuck that guy.
MAN: How 'bout solutions, Keef?
MAN: Black People for Rent is grade‐A bullshit.
MAN: Race hatred considered art now?
WOMAN: Don't quit your day job.
MAN: Someone cancel his ass. MAN: Grade‐A bullshit.
WOMAN: Someone needs to cancel his ass.
MAN: Yo, Keef, you a sellout, man.
WOMAN: He's out of control!
♪ ♪
‐
♪ ♪